The Long Hold Support Group

[[be...]]

How are you doing Stut? I hope things are somewhat better for you, this is so hard and the ups and downs we never know when they will hit. I hope that you can find something good to hang on to today. Stay Strong. 💖 Peace and Hugs.

[[Ba...]]

I posted in another group but I caved last night took tiny tad more benzo and 1 lyrica (75) then 3/4 ambien to sleep.

 

I just could not stand more days no sleep.

Did sleep and dream and feel human today.  Sleep was my original problem and just can't manage without it... I must be dreaming thinking I will ever be off all this stuff.

 

Depressed I did that, and not knowing what to do now.

 

This is beyond impossible it seems.  ;(

[[St...]]

Hi Begood l am taking it day by day.Even 5 months in a hold l find l am being challenged with new withdrawal symptoms.l think it definitely is a chance to learn that tapering isn't the end of the journey it really is only the beginning.l hope your hold is going smoothly?

    I will be holding until September so hopefully things will be less intense when l begin again.

    Love Stut X

[[St...]]

Hi Barbara I have to say in your position l would probably have done the same.l hope more people respond as l really don't know how to help you.

    What l will say is this please try not to be so hard on yourself.

      Love Stut X

[[Ba...]]

Seriously, NEW symptoms when off? 

That is just amazing... or amazingly awful... not sure...

[[Ba...]]

Thank you Stut.  Your reply came in while I was typing I think.

[[St...]]

No Barbara new withdrawal symptoms when holding at 2mgs.l think the hold is teaching me a lot however it is also deflating me as well.l think this is one of the most frustrating things l have ever taken on.

      Stut X

[[be...]]

Hi Begood l am taking it day by day.Even 5 months in a hold l find l am being challenged with new withdrawal symptoms.l think it definitely is a chance to learn that tapering isn't the end of the journey it really is only the beginning.l hope your hold is going smoothly?

    I will be holding until September so hopefully things will be less intense when l begin again.

    Love Stut X

I think a hold will help, but it does take time that is for sure, as you know this is a Process and it takes time even when things are going well, the one thing is not to cut too much in a short length of time. I am doing OK...but I need to not let the niggling of the beast get to me and he does...but I am aware and so far have been able to adjust to the blips. Hang in there. 

[[Ba...]]

Are the new symptoms worse or better than the old== or can such a comparison be made??

---

 

Yeah, floaty/boaty I had jumping off mirtazapine.  I knew I was in real trouble then.  Until that point my benzo taper was a non issue... slowly getting there.

 

After a month I figured not the mirtazapine any more and continued tapering...  mistake looking back.

 

And now stuck with whatever mirtaz set off in my brain ;(

[[St...]]

Thank you begood you are a Godsend to me and this group.You keep me grounded.l read your blog l wouldn't presume to write on it but it's very positive and full of hope.

  Barbara the withdrawal symptoms increase in intensity however not as acute as when you taper.They ebb and flow and niggle quite a bit.

  Love Stut X

[[Ba...]]

hehe... they "niggle"?  That is a good word.

So they are better than during your taper. 

Guess that is something to be thankful for!!

 

Occasionally people say they feel better as they taper.  Bet that is rather rare, tho.

[[be...]]

hehe... they "niggle"?  That is a good word.

So they are better than during your taper. 

Guess that is something to be thankful for!!

 

Occasionally people say they feel better as they taper.  Bet that is rather rare, tho.

I use that word because like everyone I have days when the beast is telling me lies and so he is niggling me...

[[be...]]

Thank you begood you are a Godsend to me and this group.You keep me grounded.l read your blog l wouldn't presume to write on it but it's very positive and full of hope.

  Barbara the withdrawal symptoms increase in intensity however not as acute as when you taper.They ebb and flow and niggle quite a bit.

  Love Stut X

You are welcome to post on my blog, and many read silently too, a great group there and the Village is always open 24/7. I am leaving Lynn's progress notes here for you to read, she is an inspiration and she was also on the blog It is long, but she writes so well and she had to hold and now she is living a good life.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=149099.310

[[St...]]

Thank you begood l will read over it tonight.l think it always helps to read positive information sometimes this forum is very dark.l like to marry that with a little light.That is why l love this group and read your blog.

  Love Stut X

[[be...]]

Thank you begood l will read over it tonight.l think it always helps to read positive information sometimes this forum is very dark.l like to marry that with a little light.That is why l love this group and read your blog.

  Love Stut X

:smitten:

[[He...]]

I’m sitting here reading. Nothing to say. So tired. But feeling better.

 

But Now I am unbalanced. Not vertigo. Nothing is spinning around me. And I don’t feel any dizziness  or spinning. But when I walk I feel like I am walking sideways a bit or I am walking very cautiously because I feel like I am not going directly in the direction I want to go. Kind of  like I can’t steer myself in the right direction.  I feel like I am going off the straight path all the time.and I feel like I am going to fall very often, but I don’t. I don’t dare go down or up steps without holding on to a handrail.

Weird!  This is a new wdsx that I never had before. What the heck is that!

 

Heath

Heath it looks like you have been steadily been tapering all of April and May 1...it seems to me if nothing else is physically wrong with you, the cuts are catching up and the Brain is not ready. If you continue to push, you may be in a place that you will not like, I guess you already are. Your Brain may be shouting at you to stop and let it rest. 💖 Peace and Hugs.

 

 

HI BEGOOD AND STUT,

 

YES you are both right! Thank you for not holding back. Thank you for telling me straight out that I am sabotaging myself.Thanks for knocking some sense into my head.

Actually I am not suffering.thank goodness. The strange boaty feeling I had was just weird and annoying. It’s mostly gone already.

But as you said...I am looking for trouble if I don’t stop pushing ahead.these little blips may be a warning sign that I need to heed, not ignore.

Ok..it’s a hold for me.  I’ll see how long it takes.  Not going to put a time on it. Going to see how I feel as the hold unfolds.

Thanks again.

 

Heath

Thanks for being such good buddies. I guess I need to practice what I preach !

[[Aj...]]

I’ve been holding dose for nearly 2 months now and am still getting exactly the same return of symptoms everytime it wears off and same toxic feeling everytime I take it.

 

I can’t believe this is going to change.

[[Ca...]]

Im sorry to hear Ajusta...

All I can say is that many in your position have gotten better in time, I wish I could remember names for you..

But If you cant hang on to that to get you through, then perhaps there may be some "hope" in "changing the state of play"...  -a personal choice indeed, but even just considering your options may help a bit...

Best wishes..

[[Aj...]]

Thanks!

 

Change what though.

 

I can’t go down and since each dose makes me feel like I’m being poisoned and worsens my spinal problems I don’t see any choices.

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Thanks!

 

Change what though.

 

I can’t go down and since each dose makes me feel like I’m being poisoned and worsens my spinal problems I don’t see any choices.

Good Question..

I didnt want to make suggestions for you, but a few things others have looked at are changing benzo, using a support med, foods/lifestyle, a large reduction or rescue dose (to isolate or identify the problem), updosing, or holding...

-others might think of more... and I of course I advise caution...

 

Perhaps its more about giving the mind some options, and hope of possibilities... whether followed through on or not...??

Once there is more than one medicine or condition involved this tapering thing can get that much harder and the questions more complicated...

Think, -what are your core beliefs on tapering and your medications, and what options, if any, would fit with them..?

 

 

 

[[Ba...]]

Wow, Cant, you give good suggestions.  I will have to try some of them as I am doing poorly.  >>I didnt want to make suggestions for you, but a few things others have looked at are changing benzo, using a support med, foods/lifestyle, a large reduction or rescue dose (to isolate or identify the problem), updosing, or holding...

-others might think of more... and I of course I advise caution...

 

Perhaps its more about giving the mind some options, and hope of possibilities... whether followed through on or not...??<<

 

SEriously does changing a benzo ever really help?  I have seen occasional people saying xanax was awful but ativan much better.  I went from klon to valium in thought of getting off, but wow I am so stuck.  So will consider what you said.  Also the large reduction or rescue to isolate... I"m always afraid to do anything .  But you are right... if you upped quite a bit and felt ok, then you know that is 'helpful.'  If not, not.  Guess if you made a big cut the same?

 

Ajusta,  your 'toxic' feeling when you take the med... what is it and do you feel it right away?

 

I know with mirtazapine I took it and immediately (I mean immediate, I don't even know how it could get in my system that fast) got headache, sensitivity to light, etc.  I KNEW for sure it was that.  Of course I did not know that basically CT it was going to land me in bed, a mess.  Yet taking it was toxic so thought I was doing the right thing. 

 

Sigh.

[[St...]]

Well said Cant very good suggestions.Good to see you back.How are you doing now?

  Barbara l was wanting to know the same thing what way is the drug toxic.I hope you got some sleep last night.

 

    Stut X

[[Aj...]]

Thanks!

 

Change what though.

 

I can’t go down and since each dose makes me feel like I’m being poisoned and worsens my spinal problems I don’t see any choices.

Good Question..

I didnt want to make suggestions for you, but a few things others have looked at are changing benzo, using a support med, foods/lifestyle, a large reduction or rescue dose (to isolate or identify the problem), updosing, or holding...

-others might think of more... and I of course I advise caution...

 

Perhaps its more about giving the mind some options, and hope of possibilities... whether followed through on or not...??

Once there is more than one medicine or condition involved this tapering thing can get that much harder and the questions more complicated...

Think, -what are your core beliefs on tapering and your medications, and what options, if any, would fit with them..?

 

Thank you so much!

 

I wish there was some medical help for this.

 

I don’t think I can updose until I have managed to talk to GP to make sure she will prescribe higher dose.

 

Going lower is absolutely not possible for me atm.

 

Toxic feeling is - I feel the sort of watery/sloshing mushy feeling in my brain get worse when I take it. It also makes me feel more anxious and when it starts to wear off I feel like I am coming up from under deep murky water and can breathe again. Problem is all the panic and muscle probs get worse and I can’t go back there atm . It is too much.

[[Ba...]]

Stut, just 2 hrs with meds, woke up trembly.

Don't feel too bad but hope to get a little more sleep before wanting to do something later... but who knows.

Thanks for asking.  Don't feel quite as bad as other day despite little sleep so maybe it the ambien helping out on that one.

 

So hard to know what is what but obviously requires some sleep and some meds to feel at all human.  I am atrying to get stable at least but not finding how to do that.

 

Thx for asking!

[[St...]]

I know Barbara sadly it is all trial and error.l hate that l have no advise for you l hope you stabilise and your suffering eases.

      Love Stut X