The Long Hold Support Group

[[St...]]

Hi Cant l am glad you are feeling a bit better.

    Cake good to have you here.Would agree with Cant about this group.Your thoughts will be appreciated.

  Miyu, Greencup hang in there we are all here for you.

  NJ,Heath,SS, Olive and everyone else l hope everything is going well for you all.

    Stut X

[[Ca...]]

Hi Ajusta,

Sorry its rough for you... There are times it does all get too much, Try to roll with it the best you can.

If thats not possible, Then I would look into some of the options presented to you in earlier posts...

But I do have faith in you, and hope you can hold on one day at a time...

Wishing you strength..

[[Ca...]]

Hi Cant l am glad you are feeling a bit better.

    Cake good to have you here.Would agree with Cant about this group.Your thoughts will be appreciated.

  Miyu, Greencup hang in there we are all here for you.

  NJ,Heath,SS, Olive and everyone else l hope everything is going well for you all.

    Stut X

Hi Stut...

Well, -I Was... A rough couple of days.... as they do...

But thanks, maybe one more sleep..

 

I hope you are picking up??

Seems like you have been in the midst of it too..

 

 

 

[[Aj...]]

Hi Ajusta,

Sorry its rough for you... There are times it does all get too much, Try to roll with it the best you can.

If thats not possible, Then I would look into some of the options presented to you in earlier posts...

But I do have faith in you, and hope you can hold on one day at a time...

Wishing you strength..

 

Thanks Can’t

 

I’m interested in whether other people felt taking the benzo was toxic while they were holding.

[[St...]]

Hi Cant sorry to hear that you have had bad days l am sending wishes for a window for you soon.

  I am hanging in there.l find stress of any kind unbearable as it leads to obsessive thinking and unbearable anxiety.I hope it eases off with this hold or l am beat.

    Adjusta l found when I was in tolerance before my taper l got very agitated and anxious when l took valium but whether that was caused by the drug or down to withdrawal symptoms l have no idea.

    I hope you get some relief soon.

    Stut X

[[be...]]

Stut I am so sorry for your struggles, hoping that you will soon feel better. Nothing is easy with this Process we are going through. Stay Strong do what you can when you can. 💖 Peace.

 

The smae for you Cant my fellow 🐢.

[[St...]]

Thank you begood l hope your hold is going smoothly.I really don't know how you have had the courage and strength to go through this three times.That is true grit.

        Love Stut X

[[Ca...]]

Hi Cant sorry to hear that you have had bad days l am sending wishes for a window for you soon.

  I am hanging in there.l find stress of any kind unbearable as it leads to obsessive thinking and unbearable anxiety.I hope it eases off with this hold or l am beat.

    Adjusta l found when I was in tolerance before my taper l got very agitated and anxious when l took valium but whether that was caused by the drug or down to withdrawal symptoms l have no idea.

    I hope you get some relief soon.

    Stut X

Hi Ajusta,

Sorry its rough for you... There are times it does all get too much, Try to roll with it the best you can.

If thats not possible, Then I would look into some of the options presented to you in earlier posts...

But I do have faith in you, and hope you can hold on one day at a time...

Wishing you strength..

 

Thanks Can’t

 

I’m interested in whether other people felt taking the benzo was toxic while they were holding.

Not for me... I just know a few days later if I have forgotten it... Nothing gets better after a daily dose either...

But others have mentioned it... Possibly some in relation to cross overs, but thats a bit of a guess...?? Though it seems to get better at lower doses or when more stable, from memory...

 

 

 

[[be...]]

Thank you begood l hope your hold is going smoothly.I really don't know how you have had the courage and strength to go through this three times.That is true grit.

        Love Stut X

I have such a fear about the FDA shutting down production of Valium, so I have horded so much now that I could be a Pharmacy. The first two times just horrible...every sx and more and in ER or on the floor more than I was home. But....I had to try one more time and I told myself this is it...I will not do this again. I think the reason it is like night and day, I have Accepted the Process of Healing and know it takes time and yes long holds and not cutting too much. I just know better now about tapering, I feel blessed to feel better and for finding BB, it is a great.

[[Ca...]]

Hi Cant sorry to hear that you have had bad days l am sending wishes for a window for you soon.

  I am hanging in there.l find stress of any kind unbearable as it leads to obsessive thinking and unbearable anxiety.I hope it eases off with this hold or l am beat.

    Adjusta l found when I was in tolerance before my taper l got very agitated and anxious when l took valium but whether that was caused by the drug or down to withdrawal symptoms l have no idea.

    I hope you get some relief soon.

    Stut X

Eeew, Anxiety... -I have been getting my first good tastes of that at this dose...

A renewed respect for those that suffer from it propper..!!

You will get there...

 

[[Ca...]]

Thank you begood l hope your hold is going smoothly.I really don't know how you have had the courage and strength to go through this three times.That is true grit.

        Love Stut X

I have such a fear about the FDA shutting down production of Valium, so I have horded so much now that I could be a Pharmacy. The first two times just horrible...every sx and more and in ER or on the floor more than I was home. But....I had to try one more time and I told myself this is it...I will not do this again. I think the reason it is like night and day, I have Accepted the Process of Healing and know it takes time and yes long holds and not cutting too much. I just know better now about tapering, I feel blessed to feel better and for finding BB, it is a great.

Great post BG..!!

Onwards and upwards..!!

[[Aj...]]

Sorry you are getting the anxiety now. It’s horrible.

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Sorry you are getting the anxiety now. It’s horrible.

Thanks...

-I guess its benzo style fair... -I dont seem to get the RLS, and other muscular and physical stuff so bad now...

Stay strong...

[[St...]]

Begood l know you will get off this time.l think acceptance is the key and letting time pass.Two of the hardest things to do but essential.You definitely have the right mindset.

 

Anxiety Cant is a killer l have had anxiety from age 29 until now but this is not the same as you have every other symptom to deal with as well as the lowered coping mechanism.l hope it settles down soon.

  Love Stut X

[[Aj...]]

Sorry you are getting the anxiety now. It’s horrible.

Thanks...

-I guess its benzo style fair... -I dont seem to get the RLS, and other muscular and physical stuff so bad now...

Stay strong...

 

Glad your muscle stuff has eased. I hope as I taper down mine doesn’t get as bad as last time. It was unbearable.

[[Ca...]]

Sorry you are getting the anxiety now. It’s horrible.

Thanks...

-I guess its benzo style fair... -I dont seem to get the RLS, and other muscular and physical stuff so bad now...

Stay strong...

 

Glad your muscle stuff has eased. I hope as I taper down mine doesn’t get as bad as last time. It was unbearable.

It was one thing i used to govern  my taper speed, so after i got stable, i trued not to let it get too bad again... But still got waves after a cut...

 

Yes, I hope everything goes well for you once you find some stability...

 

[[Aj...]]

My whole body jams up as dose wears off.

 

Thing is when I take pill it doesn’t release the tight bits and the disequilibrium between the relaxed muscles and really tight bits in my spine feels horrible.

[[...]]

My whole body jams up as dose wears off.

 

Thing is when I take pill it doesn’t release the tight bits and the disequilibrium between the relaxed muscles and really tight bits in my spine feels horrible.

 

I'm sorry you are having a rough time Ajusta, this is no cake walk ..... In response to your feeling toxic after dose , yes , I do , after every dose and have done for some time . I usually feel pretty bad for an hour or so after each dose.  Occasionally I don't , why that is is anyone's guess.

 

that's why I did a partial cross back to Klonopin, as I couldn't tolerate the side effects of the valium . It wasn't always like that . I try to eat really clean so that at least I know I am not adding more toxins into my body,

I also experiment with supplements , don't know if that's wise , but I guess i'm always looking for something that might help.

 

Hang in there, I suspect you are just very unstable right now... I asked someone who is experienced in helping people through wd , but doesn't give tapering advice,  about the feeling toxic , and she said that it's not uncommon, it could pass, and she also said she felt holding would eventually give some stability, even if not symptom free, that was very helpful for me.

 

Stut and CAnt , sorry you are having the anxiety  , it is horrible , I kind of have a low level fear all the time , I think mine is just due to feeling so fragile and vulnerable physically though, not the chemical induced type . I Hope it passes soon

 

love,MiYu

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Hi Miyu,

Sorry u feel so fragile... this stuff cant be helping any...

Better days will come... as you know...

Hows mum doing??

 

 

[[St...]]

Hi Cant how are you today feeling any less anxious?

    Miyu l am sorry you are feeling so bad l wish things would ease of for you.l hope your mum's rehabilitation is going well.

  Adjusta l would really love to be off more help to you.l hope that you can get some relief from your symptoms.

    Heath,SS,BG,Bob, Green, Olive and everyone else here l hope you are doing ok.

    There is a saying that my mum used to say a lot when l was growing up which keeps coming into my mind.What can't be cured must be endured.l think it says everything about what we all have to do at this time.

    Love Stut X

[[To...]]

Hi Long Hold buddies.

 

Nearing 4 months since jumping.

 

Have only been able to log in a few times and generally for not more than 15 minutes to keep from getting triggered.

 

The struggle has been monumental, I don't have to list the sxs, we all know what they are. The intensity and severity, though, has been breathtaking. I really did not know if I would survive. In some ways, I may still not be sure. Amazingly, although I wish I could cry, I have not been able to.

 

Anyway, I found the 'courage' to post this little update and to say hello. I miss the regular contact that I used to have with this group and hope that a window might be in my future that I can participate more. Ever since the third week out it has been miserable. Thankfully, I did not reinstate or rescue dose, so I remain clean.

 

It did hit me though that I will never be able to have the option to treat a future crisis with benzos, the only real option that medical science offers for short-term relief. I occasionally have fear about the future and the next time I will have to endure the agony of being overwhelmed with anxiety, panic, insomnia, etc. There are simply no other effective options other than acceptance and powering through.

 

My doctors, while compassionate, are fairly clueless (maybe powerless is a better word) about issues with discontinuance issues.

 

My family has been amazing and supportive, although in the aftermath some relations have been strained and that hurts a lot.

 

Unfortunately, not much positive to talk about, so I will stop now. Be well buddies.

 

 

[[NJ...]]

Hi Long Hold buddies.

 

Nearing 4 months since jumping.

 

Have only been able to log in a few times and generally for not more than 15 minutes to keep from getting triggered.

 

The struggle has been monumental, I don't have to list the sxs, we all know what they are. The intensity and severity, though, has been breathtaking. I really did not know if I would survive. In some ways, I may still not be sure. Amazingly, although I wish I could cry, I have not been able to.

 

Anyway, I found the 'courage' to post this little update and to say hello. I miss the regular contact that I used to have with this group and hope that a window might be in my future that I can participate more. Ever since the third week out it has been miserable. Thankfully, I did not reinstate or rescue dose, so I remain clean.

 

It did hit me though that I will never be able to have the option to treat a future crisis with benzos, the only real option that medical science offers for short-term relief. I occasionally have fear about the future and the next time I will have to endure the agony of being overwhelmed with anxiety, panic, insomnia, etc. There are simply no other effective options other than acceptance and powering through.

 

My doctors, while compassionate, are fairly clueless (maybe powerless is a better word) about issues with discontinuance issues.

 

My family has been amazing and supportive, although in the aftermath some relations have been strained and that hurts a lot.

 

Unfortunately, not much positive to talk about, so I will stop now. Be well buddies.

 

TMB:

 

Thanks for reporting back to us and I am so sorry that you are struggling so much.

 

This is one of my greatest fears: taking this slow and still ending up with a horror show at the end. But there is no way to know.

 

Sounds like many are struggling. Hoping you all find some relief soon. I know I was in such a bad place from February through a week or two ago, and am now doing well. I did make a tiny, tiny .001 cut last week and definitely felt it, but okay now. Will have a .001 cut again next week. This is ridiculous in terms of how slow it is, but need to be super conservative right now.

 

Good luck to everyone. And an early Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. I know I am looking forward to spending time with my son who comes home from his first year of college tomorrow. This year has been a challenge for sure.

[[He...]]

Begood l know you will get off this time.l think acceptance is the key and letting time pass.Two of the hardest things to do but essential.You definitely have the right mindset.

 

Anxiety Cant is a killer l have had anxiety from age 29 until now but this is not the same as you have every other symptom to deal with as well as the lowered coping mechanism.l hope it settles down soon.

  Love Stut X

 

 

HI STUT AND BEGOOD TOO, and everyone out there,

 

OH STUT YOU ARE SO  RIGHT ON WHEN YOU LISTEN TO BEGGOD,

I KNOW SHE IS 1,000,000% correct in the way she is doing her taper. Soooooo slow. Ihave difficulty being as patient and strong as she is.

 

I am very disheartened right now. ( will not use the word depressed. Hate that word and I’m not depressed, just so unhappy at the moment) I woke up with jelly legs, and kind of a bit of trembles in my legs. So I just recalculated the reduction in dose that I have been doing and realize I have not slowed down enough.

So now I know it will take me even longer to get off this valium. Much longer! That 5% gets much smaller every time I recalculate at the end of each month.

 

I know I talk a big talk, but when it comes down to the facts, I am weak and sorrowful and impatient like everyone else.

 

It’s timefor me to give myself another talking to, I have no one else to talk to , no support system...they just don’t understand, so it’s best to just shut up and deal with this myself and with you people here at B.B.

I’m sorry for venting. You have bigger problems than having so much time ahead if you to get off your drug. I should be grateful that at least my wdsx are under control.  At times like these I know how to fix things, and I can usually fix things with a short hold and slowing down. But this takes so long. I’ve been at it for 2 years already!

I just get scared that my wonderful psych doc, does not lose faith in me. He already agrees with me and supports my decision to do a symptom based taper, but he also thinks I am going mighty slow. I hope he doesn’t decide to rush me.

 

Yes, my other problem is I worry about things that usually never happen! What the heck is wrong with me?

 

Sorry. I’m just so disappointed that maybe almost two years from now I will still be on this damn drug until I can finally get off. ( I had thought it was only one more year)

Well I got  this far... so I know I can do it. This is so hard. I’m an old gal...so I hope I live that long!

 

Heath

[[St...]]

Oh Heath you are far from weak and you are one of the kindest and most thoughtful people l have had the pleasure of meeting.Do not think your doctor will give up on you he will stick with you.Worrying is a part of withdrawal and l think everyone thinks more than we should about getting off these drugs.

    You have made it so far with no support and you will get off with plenty of time to enjoy your life.You have always been here for us and in return we are all here for you.

  Keep strong.

      Love Stut X

[[St...]]

NJ glad to see you are doing well.Enjoy mother's Day with your boys.Our Mother's Day is long over.

  TMB you are doing great hang in there and things will improve.Keep us updated please.

      Stut X