The Long Hold Support Group

[[St...]]

I think you will have to push it adjusta to be honest you probably need some sort of help to ease your suffering.That will probably help you to taper off with less suffering.Trust me l know the NHS is not good however you need to push your doctor on this.

    Stut X

[[Aj...]]

Thanks Stut.

 

I am trying to sort it out.

 

I don’t really see what they can do other than more Benzos though. And where does that leave me?

 

It’s nice of you to care!

X

 

 

[[St...]]

Adjusta just tell them you are tapering off the benzos and hopefully they will be able to offer you something else.We do care.I hope you get some help soon in the meantime try to hang in there.

    Stut X

[[Aj...]]

I will.

 

Been waiting for appointment for months.

[[St...]]

Ring the department you have been referred to by the GP ask them who you need to ring regarding the waiting list and find out where you are on the list.l hope your doctor put you in as an emergency.

    Please don't give up.We are all here to support you.

    Stut X

[[Aj...]]

Can’t see GP again until 22nd. Letter says I have to wait for them to send appointment.

 

Also it is in another town and haven’t travelled more than 5 miles in years - don’t know how going to get there. Don’t know anyone with a car.

 

I have had such a terrible time with the NHS over the last 22 years I have lost all hope that they can help at all.

[[St...]]

No matter what you do make the appointment you need help.l don't have much faith in them but it is all we have got.Get a taxi.l know it is going to be a struggle but you need to go.

    Please hang on.l know you are feeling hopeless but we are all here for you.

    Stut X

[[Ma...]]

No matter what you do make the appointment you need help.l don't have much faith in them but it is all we have got.Get a taxi.l know it is going to be a struggle but you need to go.

    Please hang on.l know you are feeling hopeless but we are all here for you.

    Stut X

 

All of us....

[[Wo...]]

Hi everyone. I ordered a super expensive precision scale today to move into the next phase of this taper - getting off.

 

I am having this strange feeling like where did my year go? Looking at taper notes. I tapered from 1mg to .25 in 2.5 months. I started tapering from .25 in July to now .032. That’s 10 months. Ten months to go from .25 to .032. WTF!? I really hope I didn’t go too slow. Jesus. I feel like it’s been such a blurrrr. I can’t believe all these months have passed.

 

I never ever took a benzo daily before all this started last May. It’s just so surreal.

 

I’m hardly on here so I apologize for just coming on and spilling then leaving again. There’s a lot of activity on this thread and I rarely sit down to read it because I’m choosing not to be online much these days. But sending lots of love!!!!!

 

 

[[Gr...]]

:smitten:   delta1, Stut55, Mary5588, MiYu, Cantfly, Staz, NJStregth, Heathcliff, Begood, Ajusta, Gingermint, Nova, Bob7, SufferingSixty, WW  :smitten:

 

OliveKitty - It IS really hard to meet someone's needs when you can barely meet your own.  Since I have started this counseling, I have examined my own anger a lot.  I started reading the book, "The Dance of Anger" and I have realized that years ago, I made concessions for my husband, G, I gotta give him a name already- lol.  So yeah, I did things in the past, to try and make his life easier, but then I resented it later, and it made me angry.  It's weird cause I never did it on purpose or consciously, only by listening to this audio book about anger and relationships, did I even realize I did this.

 

And this is like something all kinds of people do, but it is a tough problem to solve, cause you get stuck in this resenting/anger phase and a cycle of fighting.  And now I am dealing with that AND benzo withdrawal.  My husband was thinking for a while, and at first I was agreeing with him, that these fights were all caused by benzo withdrawal.  But I told him that tons of people on BB are not fighting like us, and tons of people who are also going to marriage counseling are, so now we realize this is a relationship problem, not a benzo problem.  Though, as far as I can tell, benzos sure didn't help. 

 

The biggest takeaway I have from all this, is you have to allow yourself to be you.  All the feelings that you have are okay and you don't have to push any part of yourself aside, to share your life with anyone, cause if you do, it comes back to bite you. 

[Guest [...]]

Holding is getting tough. After going back up to 12mg from 11mg I've noticed no difference. Depression and anxiety are chronic and my hope almost gone. However am I going to get off this poison as I can't live like this?

[[...]]

Holding is getting tough. After going back up to 12mg from 11mg I've noticed no difference. Depression and anxiety are chronic and my hope almost gone. However am I going to get off this poison as I can't live like this?

 

I feel your hopelessness.  Staz, I really am having success with low dose of Buspar to "take the edge" off my withdrawal.  It isn't a cure.  But taking the Buspar when I am "hopeless in withdrawal" reduces the symptoms to a tolerable level so I can continue my taper.  I know other posts deny Buspar but I think they were expecting too much from it.  Buspar only softens the symptoms but it is enough to keep me going.  I currently only take it every other day.

[Guest [...]]

Holding is getting tough. After going back up to 12mg from 11mg I've noticed no difference. Depression and anxiety are chronic and my hope almost gone. However am I going to get off this poison as I can't live like this?

 

I feel your hopelessness.  Staz, I really am having success with low dose of Buspar to "take the edge" off my withdrawal.  It isn't a cure.  But taking the Buspar when I am "hopeless in withdrawal" reduces the symptoms to a tolerable level so I can continue my taper.  I know other posts deny Buspar but I think they were expecting too much from it.  Buspar only softens the symptoms but it is enough to keep me going.  I currently only take it every other day.

 

Hi Bob and thanks for the empathy.

Buspar isn't generally prescribed in the UK and when it is it's generally only short term. No a/d or pregabalin has touched my depression and I've tried several SSRI's and am still on a TCA and Mirtazapine. I will mention it to my psychiatrist though.

[[St...]]

How long have you been holding now Staz?

    Stut X

[[...]]

Golly - I wonder what the UK has against Buspar.  I hope I don't grow a tail or something. 

[[St...]]

Bob l think they are finding it is causing withdrawal symptoms as well.l think anything that works on the brain people have difficulty getting off.

    Just check for a tail as well.You never know lol.

  Stut X

[[St...]]

Hi Staz l may not have time to get back on again so l will say this the depression l have experienced lifted over the last few weeks now that has been about 3 months holding so please try not to get discouraged.Hang in there.

  Hi Greencup hope you are doing well.

    Stut X

[[be...]]

:smitten:   delta1, Stut55, Mary5588, MiYu, Cantfly, Staz, NJStregth, Heathcliff, Begood, Ajusta, Gingermint, Nova, Bob7, SufferingSixty, WW  :smitten:

 

OliveKitty - It IS really hard to meet someone's needs when you can barely meet your own.  Since I have started this counseling, I have examined my own anger a lot.  I started reading the book, "The Dance of Anger" and I have realized that years ago, I made concessions for my husband, G, I gotta give him a name already- lol.  So yeah, I did things in the past, to try and make his life easier, but then I resented it later, and it made me angry.  It's weird cause I never did it on purpose or consciously, only by listening to this audio book about anger and relationships, did I even realize I did this.

 

And this is like something all kinds of people do, but it is a tough problem to solve, cause you get stuck in this resenting/anger phase and a cycle of fighting.  And now I am dealing with that AND benzo withdrawal.  My husband was thinking for a while, and at first I was agreeing with him, that these fights were all caused by benzo withdrawal.  But I told him that tons of people on BB are not fighting like us, and tons of people who are also going to marriage counseling are, so now we realize this is a relationship problem, not a benzo problem.  Though, as far as I can tell, benzos sure didn't help. 

 

The biggest takeaway I have from all this, is you have to allow yourself to be you.  All the feelings that you have are okay and you don't have to push any part of yourself aside, to share your life with anyone, cause if you do, it comes back to bite you.

Thanks for this post Greencup. May your way forward continue to be enlightening and you have the World by the tail so to speak. 💖 Peace.

[Guest [...]]

Hi Staz l may not have time to get back on again so l will say this the depression l have experienced lifted over the last few weeks now that has been about 3 months holding so please try not to get discouraged.Hang in there.

  Hi Greencup hope you are doing well.

    Stut X

Thanks Stut,

That's really encouraging to know. It's not happened to me in 2 years but I've always been cutting other drugs. My depression seems to be worsening. I'm trying to avoid alcohol but slipped up on Sunday and had 2 500ml tins. I just needed some relief but I doubt it's helped the rest of this week.

Steve xx

[Guest [...]]

How long have you been holding now Staz?

    Stut X

Only a week Stut. That was after my abortive attempt to cut 1mg down in April which I ended up going back up last Thursday.

Steve

xx

[[St...]]

Staz honestly a week is nothing l know it feels like a long time when you are suffering.Understand what you are feeling is normal and it will lift if you are patient.l hope you are getting support at home and seeing the psychiatrist on a regular basis.

    Stut X

[[Ol...]]

Staz thinking of you and sending good thoughts. Stut is right a week is a very small blip in the life of benzo w/d. I bet you will get to a better place very soon now.

Greeencup I commend you for the work you are doing, it is probably true that your issues are not caused by benzo withdrawal but DAMN it makes it hard to get through it. I often think, If I could only do something awesome like plan a romantic weekend getaway or something it would help our situation so much, but I can't plan anything like that, I can hardly go to the grocery store. Keep on doing the good work though! For me, if I put any effort whatsoever toward our relationship J sees it and knows it's hard for me and that helps.

Bob, if you do grow a tail please post pics.

After updosing to 2 mg, I had several rough days there but I seem to be leveling out a bit and have had a couple of good days, I even got out to the garden and pulled a bunch of pesky weeds today. Will hold at 2mg for awhile now and see if I can start to feel like a semi normal person before I start to taper again.

[[Ca...]]

Hi Ajusta l don't get interdose withdrawal or if I do l can't differentiate between it and withdrawal.l believe this will ease off when your stabilised on your dose.Diazepam has a long half life so l can only assume it has evened out for you yet.

    Stut X

[[Ba...]]

Not doing well.  Have hardly been out of house all week, and I am isolated and have to function. Terrified I am getting agoraphobic.  Very anxious/depressed/not sleeping much. Thinking I should cave go to a dr., maybe addiction dr., and admit have been trying to get off and how bad it has been.  Problem is that 3 drs. did not believe mirtazapine could do this and then, well, I guess definitely benzo withdrawal at this point.  So despairing.

 

Really just existing, not living.

 

Sorry to complain, just so upset.

[[Ca...]]

:smitten:   delta1, Stut55, Mary5588, MiYu, Cantfly, Staz, NJStregth, Heathcliff, Begood, Ajusta, Gingermint, Nova, Bob7, SufferingSixty, WW  :smitten:

 

OliveKitty - It IS really hard to meet someone's needs when you can barely meet your own.  Since I have started this counseling, I have examined my own anger a lot.  I started reading the book, "The Dance of Anger" and I have realized that years ago, I made concessions for my husband, G, I gotta give him a name already- lol.  So yeah, I did things in the past, to try and make his life easier, but then I resented it later, and it made me angry.  It's weird cause I never did it on purpose or consciously, only by listening to this audio book about anger and relationships, did I even realize I did this.

 

And this is like something all kinds of people do, but it is a tough problem to solve, cause you get stuck in this resenting/anger phase and a cycle of fighting.  And now I am dealing with that AND benzo withdrawal.  My husband was thinking for a while, and at first I was agreeing with him, that these fights were all caused by benzo withdrawal.  But I told him that tons of people on BB are not fighting like us, and tons of people who are also going to marriage counseling are, so now we realize this is a relationship problem, not a benzo problem.  Though, as far as I can tell, benzos sure didn't help. 

 

The biggest takeaway I have from all this, is you have to allow yourself to be you.  All the feelings that you have are okay and you don't have to push any part of yourself aside, to share your life with anyone, cause if you do, it comes back to bite you.

Thanks Greencup..

Was good for me to read that right now...!!

Hope you are doing ok...