The Long Hold Support Group

[[Va...]]

Valley Um, you walked off!  YAY,  and you said it so casually!  And you worked through this.  So so proud of you.  Please keep us posted and CONGRATULATIONS!! This made my whole entire day!

Thank you WW. It was pretty much a non event and normal day lol. You will get there. 

[[Va...]]

Valley,

 

So happy for you! Congratulations!

Thanks so much NJ!  —V

[[Va...]]

Yeah Valley.Brilliant news.Don't leave us haha.You are an inspiration.

  WW l don't know of any research to prove we are healing during our taper.l do know l am healing as l am dreaming again having not dreamt for years.l also am able to cry again which l haven't been able to do.l am able to laugh which l haven't done for a long time.Now that to me is healing.l hope you stabilise soon.l have been holding for 3 months and am not stable but I believe it will happen.You will too.Hang in there.

Thank you so much Stut!  —V

[[Va...]]

Well done :balloon: Valley Um............  

Thank you Mary!  —V

[[Va...]]

Hi all. I apologize for the many posts but I needed to thank you all.  I haven’t had any issues at all since the jump. If anything, I am feeling more normal and clear headed with each passing day. I really intended to go much slower and when I began to taper after holding 6 months, I started out very slow by cutting for 5-10 days and then holding for 5 to 10 days. I then started out with a very small daily taper and increased as my body dictated. I ended up doing the last part of the taper at .02mg per day and didn’t find I needed to slow down even at the very end. It was certainly a lot different experience after the long hold. I was in benzo hell for over a year by cutting too fast at the beginning.  I found I was able to reclaim my life during the taper and hope everyone will find that they regain some semblance of their life as they work their way off. I will work on “my story” and post it. It will be hard to relive it through writing but I’ll post it when I can.

 

Thanks again everyone!  This is a great group! —V

[[be...]]

Hi all. I apologize for the many posts but I needed to thank you all.  I haven’t had any issues at all since the jump. If anything, I am feeling more normal and clear headed with each passing day. I really intended to go much slower and when I began to taper after holding 6 months, I started out very slow by cutting for 5-10 days and then holding for 5 to 10 days. I then started out with a very small daily taper and increased as my body dictated. I ended up doing the last part of the taper at .02mg per day and didn’t find I needed to slow down even at the very end. It was certainly a lot different experience after the long hold. I was in benzo hell for over a year by cutting too fast at the beginning.  I found I was able to reclaim my life during the taper and hope everyone will find that they regain some semblance of their life as they work their way off. I will work on “my story” and post it. It will be hard to relive it through writ8ng but I’ll post it when I can.

 

Thanks again everyone!  This is a great group! —V

You may have a non event walk off, just take it each day at a time. I think you will be OK.

[[Ca...]]

So Great Valley (none),

We all await your story when u r ready...!!

 

Hi Everyone...

I can say im feeling much better today..!! Yesterday was a different story..!!

I think tightness to head and throat was the worst of it.. fatigue didnt help either, -its a nice feeling as it lifts... Now back to the grind...

 

Hope everyone is doing ok... And I probs catch up tomorrow..

[[La...]]

So Great Valley (none),

We all await your story when u r ready...!!

 

Hi Everyone...

I can say im feeling much better today..!! Yesterday was a different story..!!

I think tightness to head and throat was the worst of it.. fatigue didnt help either, -its a nice feeling as it lifts... Now back to the grind...

 

Hope everyone is doing ok... And I probs catch up tomorrow..

 

Can't - Great to hear you are feeling better today. 

 

We're still struggling. Things have gone back and forth over the past week, but this morning is really rough.

[[Gr...]]

Valley Um- Congratz on your walk off!!!  This is very exciting to hear you have had very little symptoms since. 

 

Laura-  Sorry your morning has been rough.

 

CantFly-  Glad you are feeling better today!

 

I am having a big problem with my plans and desires of what I want to do, and my actual energy level and what I can do.  I am so sick of not being able to keep a tidy house.  My mother slept like 6-7 hours a night, raised two kids, kept a tidy house AND worked full time and had anxiety.  I have only one kid and I just can't...That's how I feel right now. 

[[La...]]

Valley Um- Congratz on your walk off!!!  This is very exciting to hear you have had very little symptoms since. 

 

Laura-  Sorry your morning has been rough.

 

CantFly-  Glad you are feeling better today!

 

I am having a big problem with my plans and desires of what I want to do, and my actual energy level and what I can do.  I am so sick of not being able to keep a tidy house.  My mother slept like 6-7 hours a night, raised two kids, kept a tidy house AND worked full time and had anxiety.  I have only one kid and I just can't...That's how I feel right now.

 

 

GreenCup- Please don't be so hard on yourself about your lack of energy and what you are able to do. This benzo w/d is like nothing I've ever been through. Hang in there.  I'm sure you're energy will come back.

 

And thanks for your sympathy.  After a really rough morning, things suddenly shifted and she's been really calm for a couple of hours now.  Oh, how I hope this lasts.

[[Wo...]]

Hi everyone well I think I’m getting more and more windows at least I was able to get out of the house the last couple of days and drive and be around people. I was also able to go for a 5k walk around the harbor and actually enjoy the boats and the birds. I still have waves here and there and they are uncomfortable but I’d have to say I think things are improving.

 

Since it’s been 2 months of this hold I think it could be ok to cut again if things stay this way for a few more days.

 

Still looking for help with the math for a DLMT. The nice pharmacist who doesn’t really speak English made an attempt on a piece of paper but it was all gibberish to me. I’m at .037 if anyone wants to take a stab at it!

 

Thanks everyone!

 

Hope people are finding at least 3 things to be grateful for today. For me it’s 1.  I’ve got a warm bed warm food and a warm bath. 2. I am in a loving relationship 3. The sun is out 

[[...]]

SO glad things are improving for you WW  

 

I hope you can get it sorted with the DLMT,  you will, it always feels complicated at first but once you get the hang of it you'll do fine.

 

Can't wait for the day when I start having windows!

 

love, MiYu

 

PS I'm grateful that the shortness of breath I was having seems to have passed, I'm SO grateful for the LHSG, and for all my benzo buddies. And I'm grateful for my friends and family.

[[He...]]

Hi everyone,

Another lesson learned. A cut of even a tiny amount can throw you into the pits when you least expect it, if you try to go too fast. That’s what happened to me as you might recall from my last few posts.

I had never done an updose before, but when those wdsx hit , I knew I was in some kind of trouble!

So I went back to where I was Wow, I am so much better. Headaches, dizziness, trembles that appeared out of no where all at once, are gone!

I’m so glad I went back to .535 again. ( f om .525) It was just a little up dose  but it sure made a difference. I am so sensitive to Valium!

My neck muscles are still a bother but that I know will take some time,as it has in the past. But at least the soft neck collar helps that so very much.

So I am going to stay at .535 for at least another two weeks. And then go even slower than before for a while.

 

I hope everyone is doing better today.

 

Heath

[[He...]]

 

I am having a big problem with my plans and desires of what I want to do, and my actual energy level and what I can do.  I am so sick of not being able to keep a tidy house.  My mother slept like 6-7 hours a night, raised two kids, kept a tidy house AND worked full time and had anxiety.  I have only one kid and I just can't...That's how I feel right now.

 

Green cup,

 

Pleeeze dont knock yourself out!  I too have gone for days at a time where I just don’t want to get off of the couch! I am just plain out of energy, even though I have done nothing!

Buddies here have explained to me that this too is a side effect of withdrawal.

I was convinced to just let it be. So I did nothing. And after a few days, my energy started to come back.

Yours will too.  Get rid of the guilt! You are actually working VERY HARD just to get off this poison. It isn’t easy!

Take care and be strong. You can do this! You will be alright! Have patience and give it time👍

 

Heathcliff

[[...]]

Hi everyone,

Another lesson learned. A cut of even a tiny amount can throw you into the pits when you least expect it, if you try to go too fast. That’s what happened to me as you might recall from my last few posts.

I had never done an updose before, but when those wdsx hit , I knew I was in some kind of trouble!

So I went back to where I was Wow, I am so much better. Headaches, dizziness, trembles that appeared out of no where all at once, are gone!

I’m so glad I went back to .535 again. ( f om .525) It was just a little up dose  but it sure made a difference. I am so sensitive to Valium!

My neck muscles are still a bother but that I know will take some time,as it has in the past. But at least the soft neck collar helps that so very much.

So I am going to stay at .535 for at least another two weeks. And then go even slower than before for a while.

 

I hope everyone is doing better today.

 

Heath

 

Hi Heath , so glad to hear you are feeling better , such good news! WE keep on learning as we go don;t we?  :smitten:

 

And GC , I agree with Heath and LAura, try not to beat yourself up , I rarely get off my bed except to handle the basics , and i do feel bad about it sometimes, mostly because I want to be doing so much more,  but acceptance is always best.

 

love, MiYu :smitten:

[[NJ...]]

So I survived my first week at the new job but the insomnia is back big time. Last night woke up at 3:30 in the morning and never fell back asleep; the night before I don't think I fell asleep until after 2 in the morning. One night this week I was up all night.  I am really confused; I was so sick before making the switch, but I was sleeping okay. And this morning have already made half a dozen trips to the bathroom, so just took the anti-nausea medicine that causes constipation; I am supposed to be out most of the day, don't know how to do that if I need to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes.

 

This is so frustrating. I'd like to have it all figured out. I had actually hoped to make a tiny cut this week but I think I will just keep holding. Sleep has been more and more problematic since January and I do need to figure this out. Sleep is what got me into this mess in the first place.

[[St...]]

Hi NJ sorry to hear your sleep is irratic this week.Could it be the stress of starting a new job.l would hold as long as you need to.l definitely think your nausea is being caused by your bowel rather than your stomach.l hope it all settles down for you soon. I think after everything you have accomplished you deserve a break.

  Greencup try to not be so hard on yourself you are going through hell and doing the best you can.That is all you can do.You won't always be like this so do what you can and everything else can wait.

    Miyu glad to hear your breathing has become less laboured.Hopefully you will start to feel better soon.

  WW your having a window that is definitely a step in the right direction.

  Laura your sister seems to be having more calm times that is definitely a good sign.

    Heath glad your updose has worked.You have taught me so much.Your advice has been invaluable.

  To all the other buddies l hope you are all having a good Sunday.

[[Va...]]

Hi everyone well I think I’m getting more and more windows at least I was able to get out of the house the last couple of days and drive and be around people. I was also able to go for a 5k walk around the harbor and actually enjoy the boats and the birds. I still have waves here and there and they are uncomfortable but I’d have to say I think things are improving.

 

Since it’s been 2 months of this hold I think it could be ok to cut again if things stay this way for a few more days.

 

Still looking for help with the math for a DLMT. The nice pharmacist who doesn’t really speak English made an attempt on a piece of paper but it was all gibberish to me. I’m at .037 if anyone wants to take a stab at it!

 

Thanks everyone!

 

Hope people are finding at least 3 things to be grateful for today. For me it’s 1.  I’ve got a warm bed warm food and a warm bath. 2. I am in a loving relationship 3. The sun is out 

Hi WW. I’ve been lax at getting back to you on the math for DMLT. I will try to work the numbers today.  —V

[[be...]]

Valley,how is it going? When I went completely off those two times it took about 7 days to bottom out, ......but I was in bad shape before the 7 days, so your taper was much better than my two failed tapers. I am getting close and I would be remiss to say I have not thought of those terrible days, but my plan is still to slide or walk off, no jumping for me, I want a nice calm landing. 💖 Peace and Hugs.

[[He...]]

Yesterday was a good day. After three days of the up dose I can surely say the little up dose did a lot of good for me. But today I’m not so good. Maybe I’m just tired. I’m going to try to get more sleep RIGHT NOW. Hope I can get to sleep. It’s still 7:30 am.

 

Sorry to hear many of us are having bad days. Hopefully we will all have better days as the day goes on.  There’s always tomorrow to look forward to for more relief.  Let’s all try to distract.

 

Heath

 

[[Va...]]

Valley,how is it going? When I went completely off those two times it took about 7 days to bottom out, ......but I was in bad shape before the 7 days, so your taper was much better than my two failed tapers. I am getting close and I would be remiss to say I have not thought of those terrible days, but my plan is still to slide or walk off, no jumping for me, I want a nice calm landing. 💖 Peace and Hugs.

Hi BG. I’m still doing well. I don’t feel much different than when I was tapering. I got over the freezes a while back. I thought I might get some when I jumped but none so far. I do have a bad left shoulder and it is getting worse but it has been a problem since I had surgery on it and an X-ray coniformed the joint is gone so I don’t think it’s withdrawal. I have felt a little tired but overall I cont8nue to do well.

 

I really think you are going to slide off when the time comes.  —V

[[Va...]]

Yesterday was a good day. After three days of the up dose I can surely say the little up dose did a lot of good for me. But today I’m not so good. Maybe I’m just tired. I’m going to try to get more sleep RIGHT NOW. Hope I can get to sleep. It’s still 7:30 am.

 

Sorry to hear many of us are having bad days. Hopefully we will all have better days as the day goes on.  There’s always tomorrow to look forward to for more relief.  Let’s all try to distract.

 

Heath

Good to hear you’re feeling better Heath!

 

I hope all aho are having a rough time do what Heath recommended and distract as best you can. It was what helped me the most. I found I was capable of doing a lot more than my was telling me I could do.  —V

[[St...]]

Hi folks this hold is the hardest part of the taper so far.l don't really know what l am expecting from holding l am hoping l will get some of my fight back.l can't face another cut but my thoughts are telling me l will never stabilise or get off these drugs.The one emotion l feel on a daily basis is despair.l hope that lifts.

  To everyone else l hope you have a better day.

[[be...]]

Valley,how is it going? When I went completely off those two times it took about 7 days to bottom out, ......but I was in bad shape before the 7 days, so your taper was much better than my two failed tapers. I am getting close and I would be remiss to say I have not thought of those terrible days, but my plan is still to slide or walk off, no jumping for me, I want a nice calm landing. 💖 Peace and Hugs.

Hi BG. I’m still doing well. I don’t feel much different than when I was tapering. I got over the freezes a while back. I thought I might get some when I jumped but none so far. I do have a bad left shoulder and it is getting worse but it has been a problem since I had surgery on it and an X-ray coniformed the joint is gone so I don’t think it’s withdrawal. I have felt a little tired but overall I cont8nue to do well.

 

I really think you are going to slide off when the time comes.  —V

:smitten:

[[be...]]

Yesterday was a good day. After three days of the up dose I can surely say the little up dose did a lot of good for me. But today I’m not so good. Maybe I’m just tired. I’m going to try to get more sleep RIGHT NOW. Hope I can get to sleep. It’s still 7:30 am.

 

Sorry to hear many of us are having bad days. Hopefully we will all have better days as the day goes on.  There’s always tomorrow to look forward to for more relief.  Let’s all try to distract.

 

Heath

Good to hear you’re feeling better Heath!

 

I hope all aho are having a rough time do what Heath recommended and distract as best you can. It was what helped me the most. I found I was capable of doing a lot more than my was telling me I could do.  —V

Great Advice Heath.