The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ol...]]

Oh good! I would go to a dispensary and get a vape pen and you can get cartridges that are very specific about THC levels. If I were you I would get a high CBD low THC to start and puff away! I am very sensitive to THC and the CBD ones are great! 

[[Ch...]]

Oh good! I would go to a dispensary and get a vape pen and you can get cartridges that are very specific about THC levels. If I were you I would get a high CBD low THC to start and puff away! I am very sensitive to THC and the CBD ones are great! 

 

I've already got cbd oil, but I don't notice it doing much.  My husband smokes weed daily, so he'll get me some.that is higher cbd, lower thc.  What I smoked tonight was a sativa blend, could be why i freaked out.  Most likely though it's my mindset going in, and the fact that Im having waves throughout the day still.  The obsessive, catstrophizing benzo mind is horrible, isn't it?

[[Wo...]]

I am totally getting a kick out of the last few posts about weed and imagining and psychiatrist recommending it over Xanax.  LOVE IT.  I also live in California.  KK, would you by any chance be in the Bay Area? I'd love to have a consultation with a doctor like that.  I have a closet full of low THC high CBD weed, vapes and oils but when I went into severe withdrawal last year after an Ativan CT (I was taking it as needed and didn't feel I needed it anymore, thought I'd switch to CBD) I kind of questioned the CBD.  I was taking a lot of stuff right when I went into acute for a tooth infection and I was on Wellbutrin but I think the CBD may have raised my anxiety.  Now I am too scared to try it again although I'd love to try it again because it's sitting in my closet and if it would help this horrible wave to calm down I'd love that!! I am off the Wellbutrin so who knows?

 

I posted in the DLMT but I am ready to make the jump over.  It's been 7 weeks and I haven't stabilized and life has got to get better this is ridiculous.  I just refuse to be this sick anymore.  Does anyone here have a handle on math? If I am at .037 how would I do the DLMT? I am hoping someone on that forum answers.

 

And, I'd love to hear the propaganda again especially since I've been holding so long and just keep "getting worse".  What the heck is going on?

 

Thanks everybody!

 

 

[[Ol...]]

SO horrible. I really feel ya. I know that some people get real anxiety relief from smoking weed, but I am not one of those people. It actually gives me crazy anxiety, even before benzo w/d. But yes, if you do well with weed then Indica is definitely going to be better I think! For me, the CBD is the only thing I can smoke. And I have CBD oil as well but I don't really notice it helping OR hurting either. I keep taking it though bc I like to imagine that it is helping me. I told my bf the other day that it felt like snake oil. I keep spending lots of money on it bc someone told me it's good for me. Ha!

[[Ch...]]

I am totally getting a kick out of the last few posts about weed and imagining and psychiatrist recommending it over Xanax.  LOVE IT.  I also live in California.  KK, would you by any chance be in the Bay Area? I'd love to have a consultation with a doctor like that.  I have a closet full of low THC high CBD weed, vapes and oils but when I went into severe withdrawal last year after an Ativan CT (I was taking it as needed and didn't feel I needed it anymore, thought I'd switch to CBD) I kind of questioned the CBD.  I was taking a lot of stuff right when I went into acute for a tooth infection and I was on Wellbutrin but I think the CBD may have raised my anxiety.  Now I am too scared to try it again although I'd love to try it again because it's sitting in my closet and if it would help this horrible wave to calm down I'd love that!! I am off the Wellbutrin so who knows?

 

I posted in the DLMT but I am ready to make the jump over.  It's been 7 weeks and I haven't stabilized and life has got to get better this is ridiculous.  I just refuse to be this sick anymore.  Does anyone here have a handle on math? If I am at .037 how would I do the DLMT? I am hoping someone on that forum answers.

 

And, I'd love to hear the propaganda again especially since I've been holding so long and just keep "getting worse".  What the heck is going on?

 

Thanks everybody!

 

I'm so sorry you're suffering.  I say you try the cbd,  of it hasn't expired.  And no, I live in Southern California.  And I k lw a lot of people on here hate all psych Drs, but I love mine!  He really is a kind man, and he's up on new ways of paychiatry.  I was already on meds prescribed by my GP, and was a complete mess when I found my pdoc.  He saved me from the Zoloft hell I was in, and now says I need to get off the Xanax.

[[Ch...]]

SO horrible. I really feel ya. I know that some people get real anxiety relief from smoking weed, but I am not one of those people. It actually gives me crazy anxiety, even before benzo w/d. But yes, if you do well with weed then Indica is definitely going to be better I think! For me, the CBD is the only thing I can smoke. And I have CBD oil as well but I don't really notice it helping OR hurting either. I keep taking it though bc I like to imagine that it is helping me. I told my bf the other day that it felt like snake oil. I keep spending lots of money on it bc someone told me it's good for me. Ha!

 

I feel the same.way about my cbd oil.  Mine has zero thc, so that may be why.  My friend swnt me a pic of one she uses with 3:1 cbd to thc and she awards by it. 

[[Wo...]]

I would happily make the trek down to So. Cal to see a great doc.  My pdoc is actually pretty cool but he's really young and works in a psych ward and I'm the first person he's every down a slow taper with.  Could use a second opinion.  Mind sharing your docs details? I can PM you if so.

 

And, I am getting tempted to try the AC/DC again I don't think weed really expires in fact I've heard the longer you have it around the more CBN (I think) it has which helps with sleep. 

 

 

[[Ol...]]

Hey Wonder Woman, are you in Oregon? I have a great doctor in Portland!!

[[St...]]

Hi folks just wanted to ask a question.How long is too long to hold?l hope that makes sense.l know a weekend is always a lot quieter on this site but if someone could respond l would be very grateful.

[[La...]]

Stut-

 

I'm certainly no expert, but it seems that it varies from person to person, maybe depending on whether a person cut too fast earlier in the taper. 

 

A couple pages back, Julianna2014 posted that she had to hold for 2 years, and she really felt that she healed during that hold. And at one point, Gardener99 posted that, at one point, she had to hold for a year before she was ready to cut again.

 

We've been holding for 6 months, and although we've definitely seen a number of symptoms fade away, we've also had some continue to roll in.  We're having major problems with a bathroom phobia and the w/d really seems to be affecting the GI tract now, so we have to continue holding. 

 

What confuses me more than anything is how the symptoms go back and forth.  On Mon, we had the best day we've had in months (6-7 hours of calm in the morning and afternoon), and other days this week also had pockets of calm. We honestly thought we were finally on our way to a settling.  And then yesterday happened, and it was really rough again. And we're seeing the same back and forth with the GI symptoms (which, of course, affects the bathroom phobia). 

 

 

[[St...]]

Thank you Laura yes it is horrendous the way the withdrawal symptoms come and go.l find it very difficult to cope with and also l do find it very deflating.l also wonder if you will hit tolerance if you stay too long on a set dose.l am so sorry your sister is still suffering so much.l hope things level out for her very soon.l hope l can help you as time goes on as l was a carer for my daughter during a period when she was seriously ill.I understand how much you and your mum are suffering as well so if l can help in any way l will.

[[La...]]

Thank you Laura yes it is horrendous the way the withdrawal symptoms come and go.l find it very difficult to cope with and also l do find it very deflating.l also wonder if you will hit tolerance if you stay too long on a set dose.l am so sorry your sister is still suffering so much.l hope things level out for her very soon.l hope l can help you as time goes on as l was a carer for my daughter during a period when she was seriously ill.I understand how much you and your mum are suffering as well so if l can help in any way l will.

 

Thanks for your sympathy and support.  We were so happy on Monday--we really thought we were on our way to things settling down for her.  But I guess that's just how this process works, some days are better and then some are worse.  We've definitely had a number of symptoms go away, so we know her brain does heal from the long holds, but it's just taking longer for the bathroom phobia to settle down (and I think it would settle down if the GI symptoms would settle down)

 

Sorry for what you went through when your daughter was seriously ill. I hope she's doing better now.

[[St...]]

Laura you and your mum will get through this.lt will take a lot of courage and strength but you will make it through.Please look after your own health as well as you are going through as well.

  My daughter is doing great thank goodness however I think I will always worry.

[[Ch...]]

When I take my Xanax now, it does very little for me.  Have I hit tolerance?  I do not want to.go up, but this is not.good.  I am trembling and can't shut off the looping, catastrophic thoights.  I really don't think I can do this much longer.  Seriously.  I'm so scared.

[[Ju...]]

A big congratulations to OliveKitty for success, off benzos!

[[Su...]]

When I take my Xanax now, it does very little for me.  Have I hit tolerance?  I do not want to.go up, but this is not.good.  I am trembling and can't shut off the looping, catastrophic thoights.  I really don't think I can do this much longer.  Seriously.  I'm so scared.

 

KK,

I think that Gard gave you some really good suggestions a few posts back.

I for one can not smoke ANY MJ product.  It really messes with my thinking and then it takes a few days for my system to settle down.... (The kind of thinking you are describing is really MJ related for this brain.)

 

It would be very unlikely that you have hit tolerance this quickly, but X does have a very short duration of action.  The anxiety that follows that is like nothing I have ever known!  Like a chemical panic cloak that settles on my shoulders.  But it is X related -- at least for me.

Even though I am well along in my taper and have added some V, I still need to dose 5X a day to be comfortable/sane.  (I'm hoping that the long hold I have embarked on to will allow me to adjust that in time).

 

So as tempting as the MJ is -- and I also live where it is legal -- it may not be the help for you that others find.

 

Just my 2 cents...

hoping you have a better day.

SS

[[Ch...]]

When I take my Xanax now, it does very little for me.  Have I hit tolerance?  I do not want to.go up, but this is not.good.  I am trembling and can't shut off the looping, catastrophic thoights.  I really don't think I can do this much longer.  Seriously.  I'm so scared.

 

KK,

I think that Gard gave you some really good suggestions a few posts back.

I for one can not smoke ANY MJ product.  It really messes with my thinking and then it takes a few days for my system to settle down.... (The kind of thinking you are describing is really MJ related for this brain.)

 

It would be very unlikely that you have hit tolerance this quickly, but X does have a very short duration of action.  The anxiety that follows that is like nothing I have ever known!  Like a chemical panic cloak that settles on my shoulders.  But it is X related -- at least for me.

Even though I am well along in my taper and have added some V, I still need to dose 5X a day to be comfortable/sane.  (I'm hoping that the long hold I have embarked on to will allow me to adjust that in time).

 

So as tempting as the MJ is -- and I also live where it is legal -- it may not be the help for you that others find.

 

Just my 2 cents...

hoping you have a better day.

SS

 

Thank you SS.  I saw Gard's advice.  I am planning on holding, but I feel like I don't even take any xanax now.  Its not helping at all with the trembling.  Should this settle down?  My psych is the one who recommended the MJ.  He says I need to calm down, and thinks it will help.  I'm not sure.

[[Su...]]

When I take my Xanax now, it does very little for me.  Have I hit tolerance?  I do not want to.go up, but this is not.good.  I am trembling and can't shut off the looping, catastrophic thoights.  I really don't think I can do this much longer.  Seriously.  I'm so scared.

 

KK,

I think that Gard gave you some really good suggestions a few posts back.

I for one can not smoke ANY MJ product.  It really messes with my thinking and then it takes a few days for my system to settle down.... (The kind of thinking you are describing is really MJ related for this brain.)

 

It would be very unlikely that you have hit tolerance this quickly, but X does have a very short duration of action.  The anxiety that follows that is like nothing I have ever known!  Like a chemical panic cloak that settles on my shoulders.  But it is X related -- at least for me.

Even though I am well along in my taper and have added some V, I still need to dose 5X a day to be comfortable/sane.  (I'm hoping that the long hold I have embarked on to will allow me to adjust that in time).

 

So as tempting as the MJ is -- and I also live where it is legal -- it may not be the help for you that others find.

 

Just my 2 cents...

hoping you have a better day.

SS

 

Thank you SS.  I saw Gard's advice.  I am planning on holding, but I feel like I don't even take any xanax now.  Its not helping at all with the trembling.  Should this settle down?  My psych is the one who recommended the MJ.  He says I need to calm down, and thinks it will help.  I'm not sure.

I think that if MJ does settle a body it works well, BUT if it doesn't it can wreak a bit of havoc.  There are some studies showing that this is gene related, some of us have the genes where MJ create anxiety -- some where it calms.  If it doesn't calm you then smoking it won't help and your pdoc can't know how it affects you yet.

 

I have gone through patches where some of my doses seemed to do nothing... In that case I waited it out until my next dose and often would find some relief in that.....some times big relief.  It's like some part of my brain is healing during that time .. or that's what I tell myself.

 

Perhaps looking more at the big picture could be helpful right now?  I know that if i track my body constantly through the day then things can feel rough.  Some distraction, a steady plan and a huge dose of patience?  Not easy I know...

fwiw....

SS

 

[[St...]]

Well done Olivekitty another successful taper.

  KK find to find ways of distracting your mind anything that stops you focusing on your symptoms.l know this seems endless but as everyone says time is the only thing that heals.Hang in there.

[[Ch...]]

I agree with the distraction thing.  I'm at a place right now where I find it hard to watch t.v.  My husband took me today to get a cbd vape that is 5:1 cbd to thc.  It should help me relax without getting high.  I'm not sure getting high in my condition is a good idea.  It just floors me how you can go from being great one day, to feeling.like you've be better off dead the next.  And it's hung around for a week now.  I need a good window, God!  Please!!

[[Su...]]

A big congratulations to OliveKitty for success, off benzos!

 

Yes yes yes!!!

Congratulations Olive Kitty!!!

inspiration for all of us continuing to turtle along on our way off....

:thumbsup:

SS

[[La...]]

It just floors me how you can go from being great one day, to feeling.like you've be better off dead the next. 

 

Yes, I know how you feel. We had the best day we've had in months on Monday (7 hours of calm) and we really thought we were heading for a settling, and then yesterday and today have been awful. It's just so frustrating to feel like you are getting close to getting out of this misery, only to fall back in again.

[[ga...]]

I agree with the distraction thing.  I'm at a place right now where I find it hard to watch t.v. 

 

I have been there too. Couldn't even watch TV. Finally, I got some old Andy Griffith DVDs. That's all I could tolerate. Slow, black and white, low stress TV. Now I can watch a few other low-stress things.

 

I would like to repeat that dosing Xanax only 3 times/day could be causing you big problems. Xanax jerks you up and down like a yo-yo.  It is typically dosed 4 times a day to avoid inter-dose withdrawal. I gave up and crossed to Librium because I even had to dose in the middle of the night to keep my blood levels even. It was just too exhausting. But I think most people do OK spreading 4 doses across their waking hours.

 

Gard

[[Su...]]

I agree with the distraction thing.  I'm at a place right now where I find it hard to watch t.v. 

 

I have been there too. Couldn't even watch TV. Finally, I got some old Andy Griffith DVDs. That's all I could tolerate. Slow, black and white, low stress TV. Now I can watch a few other low-stress things.

 

I would like to repeat that dosing Xanax only 3 times/day could be causing you big problems. Xanax jerks you up and down like a yo-yo.  It is typically dosed 4 times a day to avoid inter-dose withdrawal. I gave up and crossed to Librium because I even had to dose in the middle of the night to keep my blood levels even. It was just too exhausting. But I think most people do OK spreading 4 doses across their waking hours.

 

Gard

 

Just emphasizing what Gard said..... That's so true for me!

 

[[He...]]

 

Congratulations Olive Kitty!  I hope the next few weeks just get better and better for you!

 

KK - I'm so sorry that you're suffering.  I think going back up seems like the right decision.  I've only been on one benzo, so I don't know about Xanax, but from what everyone says, it's very short acting.  With all of the symptoms that you've had, it sounds like dosing four times and day and potentially going on a longer acting benzo when you decide to taper again may make sense.  I've made the decision to stay on my current dose of klonopin for a few months and then start a DLMT probably around August.  Initially I just wanted to be off of everything immediately, but decided that I'm not willing to risk my health or sanity to make it happen.  We can be our own worst enemy and I refuse to feel like a failure for waiting before I taper again!

 

 

I think that I have the opposite of health anxiety.  I have been attributing everything I feel to withdrawal and learned a couple of days ago that sometimes there are other issues.  I live in Pennsylvania and traveled to Virginia this past Thursday.  Well after a week of head / sinus pressure and ear ringing and pain I decided to go to urgent care to see if anything was wrong before I was gone for the weekend sitting outside at a soccer tournament.  Turns out I have a sinus infection and a lot of fluid in my ears.  I'm on day three of an antibiotic (I checked with the doc, pharmacist and this board to make sure that it was OK to take  ) and although I still have the pressure, ringing and pain, it's getting better.  I have to say that it was a relief hearing that the tinnitus I'm experiencing is most likely due to the ear pressure.  That's the one symptom that worries me the most because it seems like most physical symptoms go away in time but tinnitus can become permanent.