The Long Hold Support Group

[[St...]]

KK the long walks today have helped.Hopeing it stays that way for a while.Am tired of yo-yoing . I hope you start to level out a bit soon

[[Ch...]]

I feel better today, but I always feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  That's why I'm holding for a while.  My pdoc thinks it's a good idea too...forget about the medicine for a while.  Probably should stay off BB too, but I can't.

[[St...]]

Good idea.BB is  good support but don't read the horror stories.

[[Ch...]]

I'm learning that the hard way. 

[[He...]]

Hi All -

 

Had a busy weekend out of state at my daughter's cheer competition.  Got back late last night.  I'm heading back out of state to my soccer's soccer tournament this coming weekend

 

KK- it's great that you are feeling a little better!  I think a hold is a good idea.  I know that I struggled a lot with walking the line between trying to get off of the benzo before it was considered addictive and not feeling absolutely horrible along the way.

 

SS - Same to good - nice to hear that your feeling good!

 

Stut - So sorry you haven't been feeling well.  I've had a bad run today after all of the activity, traveling and the need to appear "well" around everyone.  I understand the feeling of hopelessness.  I've been at the same dose for a few weeks now and am still struggling with anxiety, sound sensitivity, some burning/itchiness and overall feeling of unease and unwell.  Each night I go to bed thinking that tomorrow will be the day that things turn around and when they don't, it's frustrating.  But we have to keep believing that time will heal us and we will all get to a better place.  That this is a small part of our lives.  Have you tried using a neti pot to help with some of the cold/flu congestion and pressure?  I'm going to use it tonight to help with my head pressure.

 

NJ - I'm glad that you don't need to have a procedure.  I've fortunately missed a lot of the GI issues that you've experienced.  My withdrawal seems to be part physical but mainly mental.  Looking to the positives, a procedure would have led to more medication.

 

For me - I'm still waiting to stabilize from my AD dosage change.  Staying on my long hold of .25 klonopin.  I'm grateful that most all of the burning/itching has gone away, but I have a lot of sound sensitivity, tinnitus is off and on (I think because I'm feeling a lot of head pressure) and my anxiety doesn't want to go away.  Although ADs are supposed to have the easier withdrawal or discontinuation, it's taking me longer to adjust to the new dose.  The ironic thing is that I don't want to discontinue my AD which is prescribed for and helping my migraines.  I just wanted a lower dose to get rid of some of the annoying side effects.  The higher dose didn't help my migraines, but when I went lower, they've gotten better.  So now I'm hoping against hope that the anxiety and head pressure that I feel is temporary.  Nortriptyline is supposed to help with anxiety not make it worse!  I didn't feel this way on 10mg or when I increased to 25mg, so logically I shouldn't feel anxiety long term.  Right?  Ugh - this is just so hard!

[[He...]]

Hi kk and everyone else. Holding for 4 weeks is really not long. Especially when you have lots of bad wdsx.those wdsx are showing you that you were really unstable. Please dont give up on your hold. It might take even 4 months. I know V has stated that it took him, I think, 6 months to get stable again but that 6 months hold was worth it.

I have had to hold 4 months in the past, but it really did fix me up to where I could start tapering again with ease.

 

Don’t give up! You can do this. I hope your wdsx ease up soon, but if they dont, give it more time, all the time your CNS needs.

 

Heath :smitten: :therethere:

[[He...]]

Thanks Heath!  It’s nice to hear that long holds can really help.  It takes patience and courage to get through these hard sxs!

[[Ch...]]

Thank you all so much for the well wishes.  I'm going to try to hold for a good while.  My problem is, when I start feeling better I get all gung ho about getting off the xanax.  I'm learning to be patient.

My husband is being strict with me this time.  He needs a break too.  This has taken a toll on both of us, but has brought us closer, which I didn't think was even possible.  He really is my Prince Charming.  I think we deserve a weekend away somewhere soon.

[[St...]]

Flutterbye,

 

I think you have received good advice here.

 

I lost my dad about two and a half years ago, and at the four month point after his passing found that I was a mess. So going back to what you were doing then stabilizing and holding for a while might help you. There are days that are still very hard for me.

 

I am someone who expects to be tapering as long as you, so don't worry about how long it is taking. You are getting it done, regardless of how slow, so don't feel pressured to speed up, especially after losing a parent.

 

Take good care of yourself.

 

I just saw this and boy do I identify. I held after moving back from Australia and then 2 months later my mom passed away. I’m still holding. I’ll probably start again soon.

[[bo...]]

Anyone heard from healingseeker? I often wonder how she is ...

[[NJ...]]

I have heard from her healing seeker. Seems like she is doing okay. We are both Jersey girls, so I have reached out to her a few times.

 

Today is another challenging day. Work is taking me out to lunch and dinner; and I can barely eat. I almost never do this but I did just take an extra .25 mg of klonopin plus zofran for the nausea. My last "rescue dose" like this was back in August, when I dropped my son off at college. I do feel a little more settled.

 

But I continue to have pain in the gall bladder area even though scan was clear.

 

I am holding on by a thread here. I will say that if I cannot reach some sort of stability soon, I am going to need to re-evaluate this whole adventure. The depression is definitely settling in as my stomach has been a mess for more than a month, before I even knew I was changing jobs. I am hoping a month from now things are much improved. The nausea is my most persistent symptom. Ironically, I have been sleeping well, which is normally how my stress anxiety manifests itself.

 

Hope everyone has a better day today.

 

 

[[Ra...]]

Hello people,

 

I just wanted to ask anyone if they are holding more that 2 weeks? Is my brain healing while I am holding ?

My dose is .27 mg Ativan-Lorazepam.

 

On 4/6/17 I have started the liquid titration from 1.5 mg. which is equavelent to 15 mg Valium

 

Hope to hear from someone

 

Thank you

[[Ch...]]

Hello people,

 

I just wanted to ask anyone if they are holding more that 2 weeks? Is my brain healing while I am holding ?

My dose is .27 mg Ativan-Lorazepam.

 

On 4/6/17 I have started the liquid titration from 1.5 mg. which is equavelent to 15 mg Valium

 

Hope to hear from someone

 

Thank you

 

Im on an indefinite hold right now.  I'm at the 4 week mark, and plan to hold umtil I feel ready to keep tapering again.  I'm at .625 xanax.

KK

[[St...]]

Hi NJ please do not give up you are under a lot of stress at the moment.Would you perhaps updose a bit and hold for 6 months plus.l am so sorry you are suffering so much but it will pass.l wish they could help you with the nausea it would definitely help you a lot if the nausea would ease off.

  Hi KK l hope you are doing ok.

[[Ch...]]

Yes NJ, I think you should hold too, until life settles down a bit.  Anyone would be nervous and upset going through what you are, then throw in benzo withdrawals? 

 

Stut, doing okay today.  Just okay.  I feel nervous for no reason, didn't want to go to work, but I'm here.  I'm settling down, but it's going to take time.  I can't keep my mind off of checking to see how I feel, or my next step tapering, or getting off this drug.  I hope that all lessens as I hold a bit.  It's like Im obsessed.  I'm wondering if a lot if this is brought on by not wanting to go to work.  Maybe I'm burnt out...or maybe I'm just burnt out on life right now.  I need a break.

[[St...]]

Awe KK l know how you feel.The obsessive thinking is awful.l have found that probably the hardest thing to deal with but I think I see it starting to lessen as time passes.It is a pity you couldn't take a bit of time off.A break could do you the world of good.

[[NJ...]]

Thanks everyone. I have been holding for a month in preparation for the job change and all has gotten worse instead of better. I am actually happy I took the rescue dose as I feel so much better. I will need to see how this goes. I updosed and held for six months this time last year, and it did help, I hate to do it again as I would be resetting the clock again and going back to where I was in March 2017, with all the progress I have made wiped out, and there hasn't been that much progress. And it's not like I was 100 percent well during that time either. I do know that if things are not better in a month, I do need to re-evaluate. I cannot be sick for years on end. This is wearing me down. I know others do it. I don't think I can. So will hold tight for now, may use rescue doses as needed to just get through my upcoming travel for Easter and the start of the job.

 

It's frightening how the .25 mg of K almost completely knocks out the nausea. All this nausea from withdrawal, almost every day through the entire tapering process. Just feeling sorry for myself today.

[[St...]]

You do what you have to do to make this bearable.Please do not give up as l can guarantee that you will have to taper at some stage.You will get there just take your time.

[[Ca...]]

It comes and goes.  Should it be doing this after holding for 4 weeks?  I think today is a month since I cut last.

sorry, -still catching up when i can... but had to reply to this befor i lost it.. Just to say that my SX hit hard at around 4weeks.. -and often another hit, sometimes different sx, at around 2 months.. -it can change..

 

For those that are hurting, hang in there, trust in your decisions and what you know...

I let my SX guide me... And in time i started to understand what they were telling me... Usually, -too much, -too fast...

As one finds a taper speed that suits them, things get easier... (depending on what one can accept For SXs.. -to a point) Personally I found holding a great tool, but it sure can be rough for a while..

-Perhaps not as rough as continuing to cut might be..??

Its about keeping medicine levels inline with healing...  (as best we can)

But there are also times I made a personal choice to Dose Correct, and increase a bit, often just a rescue dose helped me past the hump, or through an event.. But i know not everyone can, or wants to do this...

 

But mainly I wanted to say, your support for each other is so great that I know you will all be fine..!!

-I just substituted my name instead, and I felt lifted..!! -yeah, kinda cheating, i know..!! Lol

Ps.. -Today went well.... Sleep time now..

-and med wise, I seem to be fairly stable again, back to just 0.25V

-and OMG... I forgot my V today...!! -well, -yesterday now..!! Lol

-Wonder if this even makes sense...!!??

 

Be well Everyone...

 

[[St...]]

Cantfly you are doing so well.l agree with you the withdrawal symptoms ebb and flow.l find the yo-yo effect very hard to deal with however I think it is an excellent tool to have.I know that this is similar to what it will be like when I come off diazepam so it's good to get the practice in now.

[[He...]]

Hello people,

 

I just wanted to ask anyone if they are holding more that 2 weeks? Is my brain healing while I am holding ?

My dose is .27 mg Ativan-Lorazepam.

 

On 4/6/17 I have started the liquid titration from 1.5 mg. which is equavelent to 15 mg Valium

 

Hope to hear from someone

 

Thank you

 

 

Rayban, and anyone else....

 

Yes, your brain is healing while you are holding.

That’s exactly what a hold is for.

Two weeks is not long at all for a hold.

Many times a person has to hold for a few months when wdsx are real bad because your brain has become unstable from a withdrawal of a drug much too fast. But fear not! A good hold will put your brain back into a stable place.

If you are still having wdsx, they will, IMO,  get better the longer you hold.

Be patient. It will happen

 

Cutting your dose while you are having bad wdsx will most likely just make your wdsx worse.

Holding gives your brain time to get adjusted to the dose you are at now and to heal.

Give your brain all the time it needs to adjust and heal.

When your wdsx ease up, you will know your brain and CNS are adjusting and healing because you will feel it in your body.

Listen to your body and listen to  the clues it is giving you.

 

Rushing ahead is not going to help.  Good luck! Be patient!

 

I am at .55 valium. I find I have to go VERY VERY SLOW. Slow is not bad...it’s just slow! But it’s worth the wait and it’s worth it to be patient. I feel much better, with little or no wdsx since I slowed down ....A LOT!

You can do it too!

 

All the best!

Heathcliff

[[He...]]

It comes and goes.  Should it be doing this after holding for 4 weeks?  I think today is a month since I cut last.

sorry, -still catching up when i can... but had to reply to this befor i lost it.. Just to say that my SX hit hard at around 4weeks.. -and often another hit, sometimes different sx, at around 2 months.. -it can change..

 

For those that are hurting, hang in there, trust in your decisions and what you know...

I let my SX guide me... And in time i started to understand what they were telling me... Usually, -too much, -too fast...

As one finds a taper speed that suits them, things get easier... (depending on what one can accept For SXs.. -to a point) Personally I found holding a great tool, but it sure can be rough for a while..

-Perhaps not as rough as continuing to cut might be..??

Its about keeping medicine levels inline with healing...  (as best we can)

But there are also times I made a personal choice to Dose Correct, and increase a bit, often just a rescue dose helped me past the hump, or through an event.. But i know not everyone can, or wants to do this...

 

But mainly I wanted to say, your support for each other is so great that I know you will all be fine..!!

-I just substituted my name instead, and I felt lifted..!! -yeah, kinda cheating, i know..!! Lol

Ps.. -Today went well.... Sleep time now..

-and med wise, I seem to be fairly stable again, back to just 0.25V

-and OMG... I forgot my V today...!! -well, -yesterday now..!! Lol

-Wonder if this even makes sense...!!??

 

Be well Everyone...

 

Cantfly.....

Just want to say thank you for your posts. They make so much sense! All I can say is ditto! And bravo! You have become such a good mentor. I for one am so glad you are here! And I’m sure everyone on this long hold support group feels exactly the same way.  Accolades and kudos to you!

 

THANK YOU!

Heathcliff

[[...]]

Hi everyone , wow , so many pages to catch up on . I get the jist of what everyone is doing and going through even though I can't respond to all....

 

I'm in the holding camp again after some tiny microcuts.  My taper is the slowest ever , as I've said many times before .... 1/3rd of a % knocks me flat for a week at least , and my baseline isnt even that great . So if that gives anyone a reference for slowness of tapering .....

 

last two days I'm into a bad wave of my usual symptoms, ugh. Maybe its the Mercury retrograde thing???

 

 

In answer to teh gabapentin question... I was on it before benzos , I have tried varoius doses , and Cantyfly is right , it can help a bit , but it doesn't last and it is addictive,

 

And as far as DLMT , I do this , and make my own liquid, I dissolve 1 mg  Klonopin in 1 ml of vodka, leave it about 6 hours , and then add 99 mls hazlenut milk to make up my liquid.  I find that dissolving in that little bit of alcohol first really helps the  mix, and then the milk for a better suspension. I tried water, and it wasn't for me , I didn't seem to be able to get a good mix.

 

Hang in there everyone who's struggling right now, we will get through this ordeal, breathing and acceptance ... two of the best coping tools I find

 

love, MiYu :smitten:

 

 

 

[[Ch...]]

Cantfly you are doing so well.l agree with you the withdrawal symptoms ebb and flow.l find the yo-yo effect very hard to deal with however I think it is an excellent tool to have.I know that this is similar to what it will be like when I come off diazepam so it's good to get the practice in now.

 

Stut, that's a good way to look at the long hold. 

[[St...]]

Thanks KK l think it definitely is good to experience the ups and downs then hopefully we will cope better when we get off.

  Well done Miju you are moving forward the speed doesn't matter.l hope everything levels out soon.