The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ch...]]

I also posted this in the DLMT group but thought I’d reach out here as well.

 

 

It’s been 5-6 weeks and for the first time since this process started i have not stabilized on my cut and hold method. I have also been really sick with bronchitis. I am now considering updosing (not sure to what) and starting a DLMT. Has anyone done this? I know i am pretty low and there could be an argument for just keep going but I’m a total mess and need some relief. I know builder recommends vodka or propelene glycol (so?) and I’m wondering who does that vs. milk or water?

 

I know we all have compromised brains so I’m really reaching out to those who are in a window or stable enough to answer thanks so much!!

 

I use 80 proof vodka, 2 ml for each of my tablets, then once dissolved I add water to desired dilution.  I make up ten days worth at a time.  It works well for me, is shelf stable in the dark cupboard.  A 50 ml bottle of vodka lasts months and is easy to take along if I travel.

 

I hope you get relief with your updose.  Good luck.

 

Hi Gingermint,

Im interests in doing DLMT of .625/day Xanax.  I want to get off this as painlessly as possible.  I see you're using this method.  Im holding right now until I feel strong enpugh and ready to continue talering.  Can you tell me how you do it?  I'm so scared I'm going to mess up my doses.

Thanks, KK

Hi KK. When you are ready to taper we can walk you through the DLMT process. I’m not sure if Xanax has a liquid form as that makes it easier but you can certainly make your own “brew”. I’ve made my own solution throughout my taper.  —V

Oh Valley Um, thank you.  I just want to get off thisbdrug, but nlt at the price I see so many paying on here; not being able to work, being bedridden, etc...

 

I k ow I'm not on a huge dose, but I'm VERY sensitive to it.  I've reduced 20% the last 2 months by doing cut and hold and it was brutal.  I'm still a little unstable, so I'm holding longer.

[[Va...]]

I also posted this in the DLMT group but thought I’d reach out here as well.

 

 

It’s been 5-6 weeks and for the first time since this process started i have not stabilized on my cut and hold method. I have also been really sick with bronchitis. I am now considering updosing (not sure to what) and starting a DLMT. Has anyone done this? I know i am pretty low and there could be an argument for just keep going but I’m a total mess and need some relief. I know builder recommends vodka or propelene glycol (so?) and I’m wondering who does that vs. milk or water?

 

I know we all have compromised brains so I’m really reaching out to those who are in a window or stable enough to answer thanks so much!!

 

I use 80 proof vodka, 2 ml for each of my tablets, then once dissolved I add water to desired dilution.  I make up ten days worth at a time.  It works well for me, is shelf stable in the dark cupboard.  A 50 ml bottle of vodka lasts months and is easy to take along if I travel.

 

I hope you get relief with your updose.  Good luck.

 

Hi Gingermint,

Im interests in doing DLMT of .625/day Xanax.  I want to get off this as painlessly as possible.  I see you're using this method.  Im holding right now until I feel strong enpugh and ready to continue talering.  Can you tell me how you do it?  I'm so scared I'm going to mess up my doses.

Thanks, KK

Hi KK. When you are ready to taper we can walk you through the DLMT process. I’m not sure if Xanax has a liquid form as that makes it easier but you can certainly make your own “brew”. I’ve made my own solution throughout my taper.  —V

Oh Valley Um, thank you.  I just want to get off thisbdrug, but nlt at the price I see so many paying on here; not being able to work, being bedridden, etc...

 

I k ow I'm not on a huge dose, but I'm VERY sensitive to it.  I've reduced 20% the last 2 months by doing cut and hold and it was brutal.  I'm still a little unstable, so I'm holding longer.

You’ve got the right attitude!  It’s not worth tapering yourself into purgatory and being miserable. Holding certainly pulled me out of the abyss and  has allowed me to be fully functional and taper pretty steadily after a long hold.  —V

[[Ch...]]

I also posted this in the DLMT group but thought I’d reach out here as well.

 

 

It’s been 5-6 weeks and for the first time since this process started i have not stabilized on my cut and hold method. I have also been really sick with bronchitis. I am now considering updosing (not sure to what) and starting a DLMT. Has anyone done this? I know i am pretty low and there could be an argument for just keep going but I’m a total mess and need some relief. I know builder recommends vodka or propelene glycol (so?) and I’m wondering who does that vs. milk or water?

 

I know we all have compromised brains so I’m really reaching out to those who are in a window or stable enough to answer thanks so much!!

 

I use 80 proof vodka, 2 ml for each of my tablets, then once dissolved I add water to desired dilution.  I make up ten days worth at a time.  It works well for me, is shelf stable in the dark cupboard.  A 50 ml bottle of vodka lasts months and is easy to take along if I travel.

 

I hope you get relief with your updose.  Good luck.

 

Hi Gingermint,

Im interests in doing DLMT of .625/day Xanax.  I want to get off this as painlessly as possible.  I see you're using this method.  Im holding right now until I feel strong enpugh and ready to continue talering.  Can you tell me how you do it?  I'm so scared I'm going to mess up my doses.

Thanks, KK

Hi KK. When you are ready to taper we can walk you through the DLMT process. I’m not sure if Xanax has a liquid form as that makes it easier but you can certainly make your own “brew”. I’ve made my own solution throughout my taper.  —V

Oh Valley Um, thank you.  I just want to get off thisbdrug, but nlt at the price I see so many paying on here; not being able to work, being bedridden, etc...

 

I k ow I'm not on a huge dose, but I'm VERY sensitive to it.  I've reduced 20% the last 2 months by doing cut and hold and it was brutal.  I'm still a little unstable, so I'm holding longer.

You’ve got the right attitude!  It’s not worth tapering yourself into purgatory and being miserable. Holding certainly pulled me out of the abyss and  has allowed me to be fully functional and taper pretty steadily after a long hold.  —V

 

If the right attitude is "scared to death", then I've got it.  I cant believe a few shoet months ago I was happy, healthy, and could handle anything.  Now I'm in the midst of the fight of my life.  My husband keeps telling me that it isn't in the cards for us to deal with this forever.  I'm going to be okay and we're going to get out lives back.  I just wish it was sooner than later.  I miss our life together. 

 

[[St...]]

Hi folks I am a long hold at the moment as you perhaps know.l am in a bit of despair as my mood has really gone down.l am feeling very demotivated and lost.Don't feel l can continue this.l don't know if it is me or coming off the drugs.l don't mean to be negative sorry.l find asking for support so hard but I feel l really need it now.Thank you.

[[NJ...]]

Hi folks I am a long hold at the moment as you perhaps know.l am in a bit of despair as my mood has really gone down.l am feeling very demotivated and lost.Don't feel l can continue this.l don't know if it is me or coming off the drugs.l don't mean to be negative sorry.l find asking for support so hard but I feel l really need it now.Thank you.

 

Stut,

 

I am right there with you. Battling depression and unsure of how to (or if I should) move forward. It's hard to stay positive going through all of this. I am really questioning right now pretty much everything in my life. I was so physically sick again yesterday it was hard to look my 15 year old in the eyes. I feel like I am disappointing him that I just can't do more. Talked to my son in college last night--we are supposed to go visit for Easter, I don't know how I am going to do that.

 

I would say try to take it one day at a time, but I know I am struggling to do that myself. Just know that we are all rooting for you, and I hope today is a better day.

[[Va...]]

Hi folks I am a long hold at the moment as you perhaps know.l am in a bit of despair as my mood has really gone down.l am feeling very demotivated and lost.Don't feel l can continue this.l don't know if it is me or coming off the drugs.l don't mean to be negative sorry.l find asking for support so hard but I feel l really need it now.Thank you.

Hi Stut. Sorry you’re having a rough time right now. I can assure you it is withdrawal and will pass in time. As unpleasant as it is right now, it is only temporary. I remember well the deep despair that has been a part of this journey and still plagues me at times. 

 

The important takeaway is that when you are on the other side of the taper looking back, you will have a whole new outlook on life and it will have been worth the struggle.  —V

[[Va...]]

I also posted this in the DLMT group but thought I’d reach out here as well.

 

 

It’s been 5-6 weeks and for the first time since this process started i have not stabilized on my cut and hold method. I have also been really sick with bronchitis. I am now considering updosing (not sure to what) and starting a DLMT. Has anyone done this? I know i am pretty low and there could be an argument for just keep going but I’m a total mess and need some relief. I know builder recommends vodka or propelene glycol (so?) and I’m wondering who does that vs. milk or water?

 

I know we all have compromised brains so I’m really reaching out to those who are in a window or stable enough to answer thanks so much!!

 

I use 80 proof vodka, 2 ml for each of my tablets, then once dissolved I add water to desired dilution.  I make up ten days worth at a time.  It works well for me, is shelf stable in the dark cupboard.  A 50 ml bottle of vodka lasts months and is easy to take along if I travel.

 

I hope you get relief with your updose.  Good luck.

 

Hi Gingermint,

Im interests in doing DLMT of .625/day Xanax.  I want to get off this as painlessly as possible.  I see you're using this method.  Im holding right now until I feel strong enpugh and ready to continue talering.  Can you tell me how you do it?  I'm so scared I'm going to mess up my doses.

Thanks, KK

Hi KK. When you are ready to taper we can walk you through the DLMT process. I’m not sure if Xanax has a liquid form as that makes it easier but you can certainly make your own “brew”. I’ve made my own solution throughout my taper.  —V

Oh Valley Um, thank you.  I just want to get off thisbdrug, but nlt at the price I see so many paying on here; not being able to work, being bedridden, etc...

 

I k ow I'm not on a huge dose, but I'm VERY sensitive to it.  I've reduced 20% the last 2 months by doing cut and hold and it was brutal.  I'm still a little unstable, so I'm holding longer.

You’ve got the right attitude!  It’s not worth tapering yourself into purgatory and being miserable. Holding certainly pulled me out of the abyss and  has allowed me to be fully functional and taper pretty steadily after a long hold.  —V

 

If the right attitude is "scared to death", then I've got it.  I cant believe a few shoet months ago I was happy, healthy, and could handle anything.  Now I'm in the midst of the fight of my life.  My husband keeps telling me that it isn't in the cards for us to deal with this forever.  I'm going to be okay and we're going to get out lives back.  I just wish it was sooner than later.  I miss our life together.

You will have your life back. Of that I’m sure. Just be patient and pamper yourself when needed.  —V

[[St...]]

Thank you so much for your support and kind words V and NJ.l know you are both going through this as well which as much as l wish you weren't makes me feel less lonely.V you have always given good advice and l take on board everything you say.

  NJ my daughter of 19 doesn't want to be around me at the moment.l can't blame her for that l don't want to be around me either.l know they just want to see us feeling better.Just explain to your son and I am sure he will understand.l hope we all have better days to come.

[[NJ...]]

So I just got my ultrasound results back from the doctor and it was negative for gallbladder issues. I am feeling even more overwhelmed now .... I guess all the nausea, diarrhea, inability to eat much of anything, and complete inability to eat meat without becoming very ill, this is all just stress? I know my tummy always bothers me when I am stressed, and I start my new job in a week, but I have changed jobs every two to three years for the past 20 years and I have NEVER been sick over it.

 

This is overwhelming. I know I just have to sit tight and hope I feel better once I am settled in the new place but I am barely keeping it together now. And we are supposed to travel this weekend.

 

I truly hate all this has done to my life. The only positive to come out of the last month of me being even more sick than normal is my husband finally I think gets it and has stepped up to the plate more. I guess I need to be grateful for whatever I can be grateful for, and I am leaving a toxic work environment behind, sick or not sick, I will at least be gone from here.

[[Ch...]]

Stut, what would you, no, what HAVE you told me??  Hang in there!!  You know that your body/brain is healing is a window right around the corner.  Isn't that why we do these long holds??

 

And NJ, that is great news about your gallbladder.  That means that you're not going to need the surgery, and what you've got is just a withdrawal issue.  It will resolve itself in time.  I think once you settle into this new.job, your stomach will also settle down.  I know that when I'm stressed,  my GI issues are the worst!  Ive lost 35 lbs in all of this.  Thats one kf the reasons I'm holding now...I want to get my appetite back, put on a few lbs and get stronger for more tapering.

 

Sorry if I'm babbling, or not giving the best advice or support...going on day 3 of very little sleep. 

 

KK

[[St...]]

Thank you KK l needed to hear that.l hope your sleep.Your advice is appreciated always.

  NJ l am sure you are devastated but l know my stomach and bowel are very sensitive due to withdrawal.You are moving on to a job you want but you are suffering withdrawal symptoms which are causing your reactions to be different from how you would normally react.You will get through this and you will start a job that you will enjoy.l hope the doctors find something that settles your nausea.

[[St...]]

Meant to say KK l hope your sleep settles down soon.My heads away lol.

[[Ch...]]

It comes and goes.  Should it be doing this after holding for 4 weeks?  I think today is a month since I cut last.

[[NJ...]]

Stut and KK:

 

Thank you. Thankful I won't need surgery but hard to believe this is all withdrawal. Luckily, I have a lot of weight I can afford to lose. I am really hoping that they expand medical marijuana in NJ soon as I think that would help immensely with the nausea. They keep talking about it; there are very few good drugs for nausea out there unfortunately.

 

Stut, don't downplay the impact of the flu, especially if you took any sort of antibiotic. Last year I was a mess after the flu/bronchitis, and ended up updosing and holding for months.

[[Ch...]]

It comes and goes.  Should it be doing this after holding for 4 weeks?  I think today is a month since I cut last.

 

Oh, this is about my insomnia.  It comes and goes.  Last night I felt okay, went to bed and I think I doses off, but not sure.  Was up at 1 am looking for my hydroxyzine because my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest.  Should this still be doing this on 4 week hold??  This is all new to me.

[[St...]]

Thank you NJ l seem to be a virus magnet since l started tapering l got a cold as well about 2 weeks ago and I am still coughing and sneezing.Hopefully they find something for you.I have the opposite problem l have put on about a stone of weight since starting my taper.l am eating the same and exercising as much but it is piling on.These drugs never stop giving.

    KK l had a lot of trouble with sleep at the beginning of my taper but as l got lower it started to settle down.l use relaxation for sleep on YouTube when I am in bed and it helps me to drop off.

[[Su...]]

Hi folks I am a long hold at the moment as you perhaps know.l am in a bit of despair as my mood has really gone down.l am feeling very demotivated and lost.Don't feel l can continue this.l don't know if it is me or coming off the drugs.l don't mean to be negative sorry.l find asking for support so hard but I feel l really need it now.Thank you.

Hi Stut,

I think this whole process can be such a grind that there are times that I simply crash!    Please know that this most likely a part of tapering that will pass, when I'm feeling like this I know that I try to do one small thing in a day that I can look back on with a sense of self  respect.  even if that's just doing some dishes!

Thinking of you and hoping that this wave of low mood passes soon.

SS

[[Su...]]

NJ,

Yes good to know that you're not facing surgery, although I know that diagnosis would be an answer to what is happening with your with now. What can we do but just keep going on.... you'll be leaving a toxic workplace, starting something new and the chances that the environment will be better are really good!

I know some days that ginger tea is the only thing I can think of putting into my stomach which helps with nausea.

Hoping that knowing the support that is available to you through this forum helps with the start of the new jobe.

I too have to travel tomorrow and am kind of steeling myself to get through it with strength and gentleness to nightlife.  Not sure what that'll look like for us, but I'll bet we can do it..

SS

[[St...]]

Thank you SS.l have been doing a bit of walking in the forest with the dogs which helps a bit.l try to keep busy but it is a push at the minute.l hope you are doing ok.

[[Su...]]

Thank you SS.l have been doing a bit of walking in the forest with the dogs which helps a bit.l try to keep busy but it is a push at the minute.l hope you are doing ok.

Walking in the forest sounds great.... with dogs is the best..    Today is better for me --whew!

SS

[[St...]]

SS walking the dogs has kept me sane over the last few years.l think it is the best therapy you could ever have.The forest and river lifts me every day.l am so glad you are having a better day.l hope it continues.

[[Gi...]]

It comes and goes.  Should it be doing this after holding for 4 weeks?  I think today is a month since I cut last.

 

 

Oh, this is about my insomnia.  It comes and goes.  Last night I felt okay, went to bed and I think I doses off, but not sure.  Was up at 1 am looking for my hydroxyzine because my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest.  Should this still be doing this on 4 week hold??  This is all new to me.

 

KK,

I'm also a month out since my last cut and still having sleep issues.  Yesterday was not too bad until about 9 pm.  Then sudden onset of wd symptoms, bp spike, nerve pain, anxiety, heart doing flip flops , nausea.  I could not get to sleep despite otc sleep aid.  Finally put on an anxiety/sleep video on you tube  I've used before and after 20 minutes I fell asleep.  It was 2 am by then.  Woke up at 5.

 

Needless to day I'm very tired but getting a few things done.  If I can accomplish even a couple small tasks it boosts my morale.  I hope we both get some shut eye tonight.  I have learned that if I hold long enough my sleep improves and I start feeling better.

 

I live alone and that is helpful.  No one is depending on me and I can be a couch potato all day if that is all I can manage.

[[Ch...]]

It comes and goes.  Should it be doing this after holding for 4 weeks?  I think today is a month since I cut last.

 

 

Oh, this is about my insomnia.  It comes and goes.  Last night I felt okay, went to bed and I think I doses off, but not sure.  Was up at 1 am looking for my hydroxyzine because my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest.  Should this still be doing this on 4 week hold??  This is all new to me.

 

KK,

I'm also a month out since my last cut and still having sleep issues.  Yesterday was not too bad until about 9 pm.  Then sudden onset of wd symptoms, bp spike, nerve pain, anxiety, heart doing flip flops , nausea.  I could not get to sleep despite otc sleep aid.  Finally put on an anxiety/sleep video on you tube  I've used before and after 20 minutes I fell asleep.  It was 2 am by then.  Woke up at 5.

 

Needless to day I'm very tired but getting a few things done.  If I can accomplish even a couple small tasks it boosts my morale.  I hope we both get some shut eye tonight.  I have learned that if I hold long enough my sleep improves and I start feeling better.

 

I live alone and that is helpful.  No one is depending on me and I can be a couch potato all day if that is all I can manage.

 

Once I finally got to sleep, I woke up sweating a couple.times, and I have the most disturbing dreams.  What is with these dreams?  I can't shake them once I'm awake.either.  just weird.

[[St...]]

Hi KK lucid dreams are part of withdrawal.A lot of people have them.l see it listed as one of the common withdrawal symptoms.

[[Ch...]]

Hi KK lucid dreams are part of withdrawal.A lot of people have them.l see it listed as one of the common withdrawal symptoms.

 

They're awful.  I'd rather not dream at all.  Mine have shaken me, for sure.  God, I can't wait to be back to normal.

 

How are you feeling now Stut?  Better, I hope.