The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ch...]]

Ch,

You go Girl!

I didn’t mean to put a damper on your journey. If you are able to handle the cuts you are doing, that’s great!  I hope all goes well for you. Please excuse me if I put my two cents where it did not belong. I was just trying to help.

 

Heath

 

I'm so sorry Heath, I did t mean to sound bitchy at all!!    That was not my intent.  I appreciate any and all help I get in this process!  I actually talked to my husband about it and he agrees, maybe I should try a smaller cut.  Gonna try it next time....I'll let you know how it goes.  I sure hope it helps alleviate some of my sxs.

I think you will be surprised that when you are not too agressive with your cuts, things will be better, it takes time, so don't get discouraged. Heath had lots of problems when she first joined, now we are so proud of her, her advice is sound and she lived the terror and now has a functional life. Best to you on your Journey to Wellness. 🕊 Peace.

 

Thank you, @begood!  I just cant wait until I'm loving life again.  I'm hopeful that the smaller cuts will help.  My pdoc and therapist will scoff at it, I'm sure.  I dont care.  I just finally feel like myself today after the cut I made over 2 weeks ago.  I can't keep going like that.

[[...]]

Miyu--hang in there, better days are ahead. I would say resist the urge to cut, but only you can decide what is best.

 

Thanks NJ, yes , for now I'm resisting the urge to cut ...tired of feeling so crappy for soooo long, I'm feeling a little improvement so I'd like to at least get to where I can go out in my car , maybe to the local corner store and to get my own mail from the post office , instead of having to depend on others.

It's so hard to see other people progressing and to have been stuck for so long . It's not like I jumped in with a super fast taper in the beginning , too fast for my body though apparantly .

 

Talk about trying to hit a moving target....

We all get there in the end .

 

My ex is dying , he was diagnosed with colon cancer in January , so fast , I just saw him at Christmas and he seemed fine then . So I'm very emotional at the moment . They're bringing him home today and he isn't expected to live more than maybe 24 hours . I'm so sad that I won't get to say goodbye, even though he lives really close, I'm just not well enough .

 

I get scared of these emotions , that they'll make me worse, but I think I'll be ok , its not the time to think about tapering ...

 

love, MiYu  💔

[[Va...]]

Miyu--hang in there, better days are ahead. I would say resist the urge to cut, but only you can decide what is best.

 

Thanks NJ, yes , for now I'm resisting the urge to cut ...tired of feeling so crappy for soooo long, I'm feeling a little improvement so I'd like to at least get to where I can go out in my car , maybe to the local corner store and to get my own mail from the post office , instead of having to depend on others.

It's so hard to see other people progressing and to have been stuck for so long . It's not like I jumped in with a super fast taper in the beginning , too fast for my body though apparantly .

 

Talk about trying to hit a moving target....

We all get there in the end .

 

My ex is dying , he was diagnosed with colon cancer in January , so fast , I just saw him at Christmas and he seemed fine then . So I'm very emotional at the moment . They're bringing him home today and he isn't expected to live more than maybe 24 hours . I'm so sad that I won't get to say goodbye, even though he lives really close, I'm just not well enough .

 

I get scared of these emotions , that they'll make me worse, but I think I'll be ok , its not the time to think about tapering ...

 

love, MiYu  💔

I’m so sorry about the situation you’re in MiYu. It is a difficult journey to take but it will definitely be worth it at the end. —V

[[He...]]

Oh how I wish ....

everyone who started a taper off of any of the benzos were informed about the benzo buddies website before they began their “journey”

 

I read of so many people who start to taper without the knowledge of

how to do it with very little pain,

to go real slow,

to make small cuts, 

to know that bad wdsx are not a necessary part of a taper for most.

 

But most people just don’t know. Many are misguided by pdocs who rush them off. Or they try to do a taper without knowing what the heck they are doing, and then they mess themselves up so badly.

 

And then they don’t know or don’t want to know about long holds and how they can pull you out of a reAl bad spot, if you just have the patience to hold long enough.

 

I was one of those dopes who tapered way too fast  because I had no idea and no guidance about how to taper a benzo.  I could have saved myself a lot of trouble, had I only known about this website.

 

But at least I found it after only about three months of hell. And the buddies here saved me.

 

I guess I am a lucky one. Things are going quite smoothly...slow but smooth... and I don’t care if it’s slow, because I feel good! And I’m working and I’m living my life!

 

THANK YOU AGAIN, BEGOOD, VALLEYUM, LYNN, ANNE, BUILDER,  BELLA P, DIAZAPAM, AND ALL THE REST OF YOU... from my very beginnings here....and all the current buddies...TOO MANY TO MENTION, I consider you all the angels on my shoulders. I am sure there is a huge place in heaven for all of you.

 

And I know that many of you who post so much support here for me and others, are going through some rough spots of your own. I wish you the easiest times and I know you will walk off from your taper when the time is right, just like I will.

 

I guess  I love you all.

 

Ok enough of this ....  back to sleep.

 

Heath 

 

[[be...]]

Miyu--hang in there, better days are ahead. I would say resist the urge to cut, but only you can decide what is best.

 

Thanks NJ, yes , for now I'm resisting the urge to cut ...tired of feeling so crappy for soooo long, I'm feeling a little improvement so I'd like to at least get to where I can go out in my car , maybe to the local corner store and to get my own mail from the post office , instead of having to depend on others.

It's so hard to see other people progressing and to have been stuck for so long . It's not like I jumped in with a super fast taper in the beginning , too fast for my body though apparantly .

 

Talk about trying to hit a moving target....

We all get there in the end .

 

My ex is dying , he was diagnosed with colon cancer in January , so fast , I just saw him at Christmas and he seemed fine then . So I'm very emotional at the moment . They're bringing him home today and he isn't expected to live more than maybe 24 hours . I'm so sad that I won't get to say goodbye, even though he lives really close, I'm just not well enough .

 

I get scared of these emotions , that they'll make me worse, but I think I'll be ok , its not the time to think about tapering ...

 

love, MiYu  💔

:'( Oh I am so sorry, take comfort in the time you two spent together and the sweet memories, no once can ever take that away from you. Sometimes Life is not fair, but we can not Judge ever what is to be, but we can pick out of the embers the lasting Love that we had, and always remember it is not Goodbye, but until I see you again. Miyu you can be there in spirit with him close your eyes and be near his side and hold his hand in yours, a last goodbye kiss. My Heart goes out to you. As our Friend Cant would say "Stay Strong." 🕊 Peace and Many Hugs My Dear Friend.

 

"Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity".

 

Terri Guillemets

[[Va...]]

Oh how I wish ....

everyone who started a taper off of any of the benzos were informed about the benzo buddies website before they began their “journey”

 

I read of so many people who start to taper without the knowledge of

how to do it with very little pain,

to go real slow,

to make small cuts, 

to know that bad wdsx are not a necessary part of a taper for most.

 

But most people just don’t know. Many are misguided by pdocs who rush them off. Or they try to do a taper without knowing what the heck they are doing, and then they mess themselves up so badly.

 

And then they don’t know or don’t want to know about long holds and how they can pull you out of a reAl bad spot, if you just have the patience to hold long enough.

 

I was one of those dopes who tapered way too fast  because I had no idea and no guidance about how to taper a benzo.  I could have saved myself a lot of trouble, had I only known about this website.

 

But at least I found it after only about three months of hell. And the buddies here saved me.

 

I guess I am a lucky one. Things are going quite smoothly...slow but smooth... and I don’t care if it’s slow, because I feel good! And I’m working and I’m living my life!

 

THANK YOU AGAIN, BEGOOD, VALLEYUM, LYNN, ANNE, BUILDER,  BELLA P, DIAZAPAM, AND ALL THE REST OF YOU... from my very beginnings here....and all the current buddies...TOO MANY TO MENTION, I consider you all the angels on my shoulders. I am sure there is a huge place in heaven for all of you.

 

And I know that many of you who post so much support here for me and others, are going through some rough spots of your own. I wish you the easiest times and I know you will walk off from your taper when the time is right, just like I will.

 

I guess  I love you all.

 

Ok enough of this ....  back to sleep.

 

Heath 

Couldn’t have said it better Heath. 

[[St...]]

Hi Miyu l feel so much sympathy for you tapering off these horrible drugs and faced with the death of someone you love.He probably knows you would be there if you could.You will get your independence back with time and this one day will be a distant stay strong.S Xo

 

  Heath well said.You and the rest of this little group have kept me grounded.Thank you all so much.X

[[Gr...]]

MiYu - I'm so sorry about your ex.  I love what Begood said about being there in spirit. 

[[He...]]

Miyu--hang in there, better days are ahead. I would say resist the urge to cut, but only you can decide what is best.

 

Thanks NJ, yes , for now I'm resisting the urge to cut ...tired of feeling so crappy for soooo long, I'm feeling a little improvement so I'd like to at least get to where I can go out in my car , maybe to the local corner store and to get my own mail from the post office , instead of having to depend on others.

It's so hard to see other people progressing and to have been stuck for so long . It's not like I jumped in with a super fast taper in the beginning , too fast for my body though apparantly .

 

Talk about trying to hit a moving target....

We all get there in the end .

 

My ex is dying , he was diagnosed with colon cancer in January , so fast , I just saw him at Christmas and he seemed fine then . So I'm very emotional at the moment . They're bringing him home today and he isn't expected to live more than maybe 24 hours . I'm so sad that I won't get to say goodbye, even though he lives really close, I'm just not well enough .

 

I get scared of these emotions , that they'll make me worse, but I think I'll be ok , its not the time to think about tapering ...

 

love, MiYu  💔

:'( Oh I am so sorry, take comfort in the time you two spent together and the sweet memories, no once can ever take that away from you. Sometimes Life is not fair, but we can not Judge ever what is to be, but we can pick out of the embers the lasting Love that we had, and always remember it is not Goodbye, but until I see you again. Miyu you can be there in spirit with him close your eyes and be near his side and hold his hand in yours, a last goodbye kiss. My Heart goes out to you. As our Friend Cant would say "Stay Strong." 🕊 Peace and Many Hugs My Dear Friend.

 

"Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity".

 

Terri Guillemets

 

Oh MiYu! I am so sorry to hear about your x.  Just know that the happy times  you spent together helped to make his time here  on earth agood one. Try to remember those good moments and rest easy in knowing that he will be in a safe place ,a better place real soon. I once read that when someone dies, that person is smiling inside, and it is the people who love him/her who are sad and crying.  I know how hard it will be and how grief stricken you are already, but know that it will get easier in time. For now, let the tears flow. Keep those who love you close to you. They will help you through this, even if it is by phone.

I’ll be thinking of you and praying for you and your x.🙏😢

Heath

[[fr...]]

  MiYu,  So so sorry you are going through this on top of everything else.  Thinking of you even though I can't post much right now. 

[[La...]]

MiYu- I'm so sorry to hear the news about your ex. My heart goes out to you. Such sad news on top of everything else.

[[Su...]]

MiYu,

ok so now I understand.

I don’t know what the half life of klonopin is.  Does it stay in your system like the Valium does for a long while? So you don’t have withdrawal between doses of klonopin? Or do you have to dose every few hours with klonopin so you dont get interdose withdrawals?

Any way, I think you are wise to taper just the klonopin and not touch the Valium until the klonopin is out of your system. Tapering one drug  at a time is the wisest thing you can do IMO.

 

Now I can follow you and understand what you are doing. Thanks for taking the time  to explain it to me.

heathcliff

 

Hi Miyu,

so glad to hear that things re getting a it easier for you!  Just wanted to comment on the idea that K has a 30+ hour time frame.  I too wondered why the hollows going on with me as I seemed to metabolize Valium so quickly -- but the "duration of action" and the half-life are such different animals!  Neither Valium or K have a duration of action that is longer than 3-5 hours.... did a bunch of research on this one!  And I dose 4X a day -- can't do any less atm...

If I cut too quickly even that is pushing it!

If you no all this and I'm repeating myself -- in the words of Gilda Radner "never mind."

SS

THank you Heath , you are very sweet... I dose my K 4 x day ... it's supposed to have a 30 hr 1/2 life but I seem to metabolize everything SO fast , I discovered early on that I had inter dose wds even with 3 x day dosing. I take my Valium in two doses, once at night once in the am, i take it about 1/2 hour away from my K

SO it looks like this-

 

10.30am-.10K ( I've take out 3% total of this and the 4.30pm dose , with liquid titration, it's taking me forever , and I'm holding now to see if I can get more stable before trying again)

4.30pm-.10K

10.30pm-.05K /1mg V

4,30am-.05K/1 mg V

 

thank you for your care and support , you're a gem 

MiYu

[[...]]

thank you all for your sweet support and love , I don't know how I'd get through this journey without you .

 

Most of all I'm praying for my  ex to have an easeful transition, and it's true that those that pass are happy to move on , I know this to be true, it's those of us left behind that have the sorrow. He's just so young still and this was so unexpected , I think that makes it harder in some ways. anyway, I am doing ok , just waves of sorrow as I let go of a dear person and friend in my life. He's been one of the people who has been there for me during this process of withdrawal, just a call away if I needed something, I will miss him very much.

 

 

thank you again for all your kind words ,

love, MiYu

 

love, MiYu

[[La...]]

Just checking in, hope everyone is hanging in there. 

 

We're actually having a much better day today.  She's actually really calm right now. So, I guess, what everyone here says is really true- things really do go back and forth a bit. 

 

 

[[Ch...]]

Does doing a long hold help with the withdrawal depression?  In other words, does this go away as you stabilize, along with the anxiety?  I'm holding until the end of the month, my husband wants me to hold longer, in the hopes that I'll have a good long window before I cut again.  I just don't want to wait in vain.  That, to me, feels like I'm wasting time when I couldve cut again.  These damn sxs are getting the best of me though.

[[He...]]

When deciding whether to cut again or continue to hold, IMO, the best thing to do is listen to your body. Cutting when you are still experience much wdsx probably means you are not quite stable. WIting until you are stable is the best thing.  Holding a while longer will put you in a better place when it is time to cut again. Cutting when not stable can make matters worse.

I believe many people are too much in a hurry gand cut too soon when they should have held longer.

 

If you listen to what your body is telling you, you can’t go wrong,

IMO patience is the key.

 

As far as the various wdsx going away,  yes a long hold will help with just about all wdsx. However, we have to remember that some wdsx will always go away, and then resurface again later sometimes. It seems that everyone has their own most bothersome wdsx that keep coming and going throughout their taper.. For me, it’s spasms in my neck.

I’ve learned to accept somethings  and move on.

 

Perhaps your husband has the right idea about holding longer?

 

All the best, you can do this!

Heath

 

Heath

[[Ch...]]

When deciding whether to cut again or continue to hold, IMO, the best thing to do is listen to your body. Cutting when you are still experience much wdsx probably means you are not quite stable. WIting until you are stable is the best thing.  Holding a while longer will put you in a better place when it is time to cut again. Cutting when not stable can make matters worse.

I believe many people are too much in a hurry gand cut too soon when they should have held longer.

 

If you listen to what your body is telling you, you can’t go wrong,

IMO patience is the key.

 

As far as the various wdsx going away,  yes a long hold will help with just about all wdsx. However, we have to remember that some wdsx will always go away, and then resurface again later sometimes. It seems that everyone has their own most bothersome wdsx that keep coming and going throughout their taper.. For me, it’s spasms in my neck.

I’ve learned to accept somethings  and move on.

 

Perhaps your husband has the right idea about holding longer?

 

All the best, you can do this!

Heath

 

Heath

 

Thank you, Heath.  My poor husband...he has been through the ringer throughout all this.  I mean, not compared to his poor wife, but I can't imagine being in his shoes, watching me fall apart day in and day out.  I'm just worried that Im waiting for something that will never come.  The physical stuff doesnt bother me, its the emotional stuff (anxiety/despair) which is probably ehy I get them.  Or my mind amplifies them, knowing I'm scared of them.  The only thing keeping me going is hearing from all of you wonderful people on BB that have conquered this thing.  Again....thank you.

[[...]]

Just checking in, hope everyone is hanging in there. 

 

We're actually having a much better day today.  She's actually really calm right now. So, I guess, what everyone here says is really true- things really do go back and forth a bit.

 

that is so great to hear Laura ... I too am having a better day symptom wise. It's such a relief, and to feel that it's true that the body can adapt , even if it takes forever ! There is hope ...

love, Miyu

[[Gr...]]

Just checking in, hope everyone is hanging in there. 

 

We're actually having a much better day today.  She's actually really calm right now. So, I guess, what everyone here says is really true- things really do go back and forth a bit.

 

Glad to year it Laura. 

[[La...]]

Just checking in, hope everyone is hanging in there. 

 

We're actually having a much better day today.  She's actually really calm right now. So, I guess, what everyone here says is really true- things really do go back and forth a bit.

 

that is so great to hear Laura ... I too am having a better day symptom wise. It's such a relief, and to feel that it's true that the body can adapt , even if it takes forever ! There is hope ...

love, Miyu

 

MiYu- Glad to hear you are having a better day symptom wise too.  Yes, just getting few hours of calm here or there really does give us hope that we will eventually get there. 

[[NJ...]]

So I have been at the same dosage for the past six weeks in preparation for my job change and I have to be honest I am really suffering. The nausea and GI issues have been my most persistent symptoms throughout this taper and at this point are downright overwhelming. I am nearing the point where I am afraid to eat. I have had to stop eating meat as the diarrhea was awful. My appetite is also down, which is great as I am overweight but this is a new symptom for me. I have barely exercised in two weeks because I don't feel well and I have exercised consistently for 30 years. I am having a hard time believing this is all from the upcoming job change, which will put me in a much better work environment with a less stressful job. Some of these symptoms began before I accepted the new position. Usually meditation helps and I have also recently tried hypnosis which cost a small fortune but still no relief.

 

I am going to the gastro dr. on Tuesday just to get checked out. Just needed to share. I am really scared and just depressed about all of this.

[[be...]]

http://www.desibucket.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Happy-St-Patricks-Day-Shamerock-Gold-Sparkle.gif

 

http://image.fg-a.com/Leprchan.gif

[[St...]]

Good one begood l wish I was going out to drown my shamrock tonight.

  Hi NJ l am glad you are going to get your symptoms checked.l have had a lot of nausea over the last few weeks.l hope they give you something to settle it down.l take gaviscon which helps a bit.l have also got anti nausea drugs however l try not to take them.l hope you get some relief soon.l forgot to say my nausea comes mainly from irritable bowel.

[[NJ...]]

Good one begood l wish I was going out to drown my shamrock tonight.

  Hi NJ l am glad you are going to get your symptoms checked.l have had a lot of nausea over the last few weeks.l hope they give you something to settle it down.l take gaviscon which helps a bit.l have also got anti nausea drugs however l try not to take them.l hope you get some relief soon.l forgot to say my nausea comes mainly from irritable bowel.

 

I also have irritable bowel. I did just take a zofran, which nips it in the bud but always causes constipation and cramping later. Just want to have a good day today if I can. Unfortunately the antinausea drugs all seem to have not great side effects profile., Compazine works great but I think it is an antipsychotic and leaves me really foggy and unable to think clearly, so I don't take that anymore. Really want access to marijuana as I think it would help. The governor here is looking to legalize but lots of opposition--going to ask my gastro if he ever refers out to a medical marijuana dr., but I really don't have a qualifying condition--maybe I could do PTSD, not sure. Why is anxiety not a qualifying condition?

 

 

[[St...]]

Hi NJ l take spasmonal and colpermin for ib which settles it and the colpermin helps with the nausea.l don't know anything about marijuana as it's illegal here so it doesn't qualify for any condition that l know off.l hope you get sorted soon.