The Long Hold Support Group

[[...]]

Hi all  well my Doctor is splaying games with my Diazepam already  after saying he would give me my normal prescription this month, I usually get mine every 28 days but now I have to ring every week and I don't know what's going to happen with next weeks  does whether its going to be cut or if its going to be my normal dose, and I can't use the phone regularly it hurts me to make phone calls it causes pain and my poor brain feels fried.  I rang the surgery but he's not there until Monday neither is the practice manager,  as I can verbally tell him I do not give my consent to what he's doing .

 

I wanted to get it out of the way regardless of knowing its illegal as its stressing me out as its still hanging in the wind until its done, my Sister is far too ill to post my letter for me as the nearest post office , and post box is some distance away on a main road and I can't handle the traffic. I will have to see if I can get up before the traffic gets too bad. If not I'll ring Monday do it over the phone then get the letter posted as well

 

Here is another 'Fun Fact''  I found out yesterday after ringing a number on some information I posted that its actually a Website for ''Doctors only'', so I said that is as well maybe so your telling me that what I'm reading proves that my Doctor is acting illegally and its on a Doctors only Membership Website?

 

They then were trying to get rid of me when I told them I was a member of the public and  then read word for word what it says about '' The Law of Consent'' on the'' Doctors only website'' which was

 

 

Respect for patients’ autonomy is expressed in consent law; to impose care or treatment on people without respecting their wishes and right to self-determination is not only unethical, but illegal

 

The patient should be given time to ask questions

 

 

When I questioned him he told me ''Its not open for discussion' and refused to listen to me, well he walked out of my home leaving me distressed and crying when I was still talking to him

 

 

The patient must be able to give their consent freely – pressuring patients into consenting to treatment invalidates the consent. To ensure that consent is freely given, patients should, where possible, be given time to consider their options before deciding to proceed with a proposed treatment.

 

 

When I told him he was endangering me he said  'Well if it happens it happens' I then said 'Doctor if you do what your proposing you may as well sign my death certificate' to which he replied 'Well is happening' meaning he's going to stop my Diazepam after ripping me off them 2mg a time or completely with no warning?

I LIVE IN WALES AND THAT'S ON A WALES DOCTOR'S WEBSITE,  WHERE HE'S PROBABLY A MEMBER ??  He's a ''MEMBER'' alright in every sense of the word the DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :tickedoff: :tickedoff:

 

 

OH , dear Nova, how awful for you , I'm so sorry . Is it possible you can get a different doctor ? Soemtimes I find we have to play a game with them to get what we need . Their egos are just too big to be confronted , and they won't back down and we end up in a worse mess .

It makes me so mad that you should have to deal with such a person in such a delicate state as benzo WD.

I do hope you have a stash at least ? Maybe let the dust settle and try to find another doctor ?

Sending love and hugs 

MiYu

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[To...]]

Wow, Nova. You've really been digging into this consent law. Have you been able to run this by a lawyer? It would be interesting to hear a health care legal specialist weigh in about patient rights in cases where a doctor wants to adjust a medication and the patient does not agree with that adjustment.

 

I have often pushed back on my doctor. One example is with statins.  She can inform me about all the reasons why I should take them and how that should benefit me, but there is no way she can "force" me to take them without my consent.

 

However, if after I have given my consent to take statins at the initial level that she prescribes, if she believes that my dose needs to be changed (perhaps due to side effects or other harm that she believes could come), do I have the ability to tell her no, keep me on the current level? I can reject the new prescription in this case and, I guess, walk away. But, I don't think I can force her to keep me at a dosing level that she does not agree with. I'm sure it gets more complicated when dealing with controlled substances.

 

This has got to be so stressful for you. I hope that you win the battle. The learning that comes out of this will be invaluable to all of us that are dependent on our doctors to work with us, not against us.

[[He...]]

TOO MANY BENNIES....

HI ITS ME HEATHCLIFF.

IVE BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR POSTS.

I HAVE WATCHED YOU GO DOWN YOUR JOURNEY AND JUMP.

I WATCHED ASYOU WENT FROM1 mg in Sept to jumping in January.

 

I am so happy for you . I see it’s one month since you have been freed from your benzo. How are you doing? Any wdsx? If so are they mild or bad?

 

I am also kind of envious of you. I have been going soooo slow. I have only minimal wdsx and only from time to time. I am actually feeling quite well on my journey.

I am at .630 mg diazapam right now.

But I want to go faster than the .002 or .003 or sometimes ..005 that I am reducing daily in my DLMT .

 

Any suggestions or advice you have to help me have the guts to go faster?

I see. You tapered off or Lorazepam. Is that easier to do than to taper off of diazapam?

I am so sick of this daily regime. I want off! But I’m afraid of wdsx

 

Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS! I hope you are feeling free and fine!

 

Heathcliff

[[He...]]

Where are Begood?  Valleyum? ATU? Anne? Lynne? Are you buddies all gone?

i think I’m not the only one missing our old buddy friends.

Well I hope you are all doing very very well.

 

Heath

[[Va...]]

Where are Begood?  Valleyum? ATU? Anne? Lynne? Are you buddies all gone?

i think I’m not the only one missing our old buddy friends.

Well I hope you are all doing very very well.

 

Heath

I’m here Heath. 

[[He...]]

Valley,

So glad you are here.Ii know it’s wrong  of me to expect you to take care of all of us. It’s an unfair burden I am placing on you. I am sorry. I’m a big girl and I have to be brave.

But I do want you to know, that  just knowing you are there, even if you are not posting means the world to me. You are the one who put me on the right path. There are others I thank in my heart everyday, but you are the first person who gave me hope and such good advice.  :thumbsup:

 

YOU ARE MY HERO!

 

I hope you are doing better than ok and that all is well in your personal life too. Bless you!

 

Heath

 

[[Va...]]

Valley,

So glad you are here.Ii know it’s wrong  of me to expect you to take care of all of us. It’s an unfair burden I am placing on you. I am sorry. I’m a big girl and I have to be brave.

But I do want you to know, that  just knowing you are there, even if you are not posting means the world to me. You are the one who put me on the right path. There are others I thank in my heart everyday, but you are the first person who gave me hope and such good advice.  :thumbsup:

 

YOU ARE MY HERO!

 

I hope you are doing better than ok and that all is well in your personal life too. Bless you!

 

Heath

Thanks Heath! I am here reading even if not posting as much. Things are going well overall. Work has me exhausted most of the time lol.

 

You’ve certainly helped many in the group. That’s what’s so great about the long hold support group. There are always buddies there ready to help.  —V

[[no...]]

Hi all  well my Doctor is splaying games with my Diazepam already  after saying he would give me my normal prescription this month, I usually get mine every 28 days but now I have to ring every week and I don't know what's going to happen with next weeks  does whether its going to be cut or if its going to be my normal dose, and I can't use the phone regularly it hurts me to make phone calls it causes pain and my poor brain feels fried.  I rang the surgery but he's not there until Monday neither is the practice manager,  as I can verbally tell him I do not give my consent to what he's doing .

 

I wanted to get it out of the way regardless of knowing its illegal as its stressing me out as its still hanging in the wind until its done, my Sister is far too ill to post my letter for me as the nearest post office , and post box is some distance away on a main road and I can't handle the traffic. I will have to see if I can get up before the traffic gets too bad. If not I'll ring Monday do it over the phone then get the letter posted as well

 

Here is another 'Fun Fact''  I found out yesterday after ringing a number on some information I posted that its actually a Website for ''Doctors only'', so I said that is as well maybe so your telling me that what I'm reading proves that my Doctor is acting illegally and its on a Doctors only Membership Website?

 

They then were trying to get rid of me when I told them I was a member of the public and  then read word for word what it says about '' The Law of Consent'' on the'' Doctors only website'' which was

 

 

Respect for patients’ autonomy is expressed in consent law; to impose care or treatment on people without respecting their wishes and right to self-determination is not only unethical, but illegal

 

The patient should be given time to ask questions

 

 

When I questioned him he told me ''Its not open for discussion' and refused to listen to me, well he walked out of my home leaving me distressed and crying when I was still talking to him

 

 

The patient must be able to give their consent freely – pressuring patients into consenting to treatment invalidates the consent. To ensure that consent is freely given, patients should, where possible, be given time to consider their options before deciding to proceed with a proposed treatment.

 

 

When I told him he was endangering me he said  'Well if it happens it happens' I then said 'Doctor if you do what your proposing you may as well sign my death certificate' to which he replied 'Well is happening' meaning he's going to stop my Diazepam after ripping me off them 2mg a time or completely with no warning?

I LIVE IN WALES AND THAT'S ON A WALES DOCTOR'S WEBSITE,  WHERE HE'S PROBABLY A MEMBER ??  He's a ''MEMBER'' alright in every sense of the word the DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :tickedoff: :tickedoff:

 

 

OH , dear Nova, how awful for you , I'm so sorry . Is it possible you can get a different doctor ? Soemtimes I find we have to play a game with them to get what we need . Their egos are just too big to be confronted , and they won't back down and we end up in a worse mess .

It makes me so mad that you should have to deal with such a person in such a delicate state as benzo WD.

I do hope you have a stash at least ? Maybe let the dust settle and try to find another doctor ?

Sending love and hugs 

MiYu

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

Hi M  that was the first thing I thought of but I'll probably run into the same problem again so I'm waiting until tomorrow,as I forgotten s few things my my previous Doctor referred me to the community health team Doctor waiting list and a social worker waiting list when I said I was having a terrible time I want off this drug I'd taken my self off lots of drugs alone but this is evil to get off and will take a long time. So he said ''GP'S are not the experts I'll refer you to a Doctor that knows about these drugs, and helping people to get off them''.

 

Also the prick thinks I was put on them for M.E as a bloody Consultant in Hospital said it was M.E and neuropathic pain another  GP diagnosed Fibromyalgia as well, and Raynards syndrome, as I got pictures where my arms and legs kept turning navy blue and black. And even I though it was Raynards syndrome , but a while after I worked out it was yet ANOTHER withdrawal symptom, the list of what ''illnesses' THEY said I got is endless . I got a BIG stack of heart meds they put me on in September I DON'T take and will NOT as they said 5 ECG'S done in my home showed I was having heart attacks, I've been there before its bloody withdrawal and they won't listen to me!!

 

I had an Angiogram done a few year's ago, when I had NO idea about the 10 million withdrawal symptoms you can get but by this time  by wasn't aware the WORST  certain things were because I was coming down in Benzo dose. Plus I CT LOTS of Opiates as well as bloody Tramadol, and Olanzapine, Big does of Oxycontin bottles of Oxynorm liquid , Dyhydrocodine CT'd Amitriptyline .

 

Anyway after I got off that lot a while later I began to realise the the symptoms were linked to the Benzos somehow but still wasn't aware ALL the symptoms were  Benzo withdrawal and that ALL the other drugs I ended up on were because the withdrawal symptoms which were true tolerance withdrawal plus side effects  and thtas the reason I ended up on all the other drugs. Mean while I got rushed into Hospital as I was snuggling to breathe and they said it was heart attacks then but I said no its not I thinks is to do with the Diazepam but a usual NO ONE LISTENS!! And the ECG was showing heart attack plus 3 Doctors said it was while I was yelling its not!

 

Anyway they rushed me to an operating theatre prep me for an op still protesting, did an Angiogram and my heart and arteries were fine  Any way I am still also going to stand by ''The law of consent', and as I can't get to a post box I remembered I can Email it instead so I took pictures of the letter I wrote sent then to my PC and will get the Surgery Mangers Address and then email it if the Doctor tells me tomorrow he's still going ahead with his shit.

 

Also he can't do it under ''The European Human rights act'' either so either way he's acting illegally. And the case that bought about our rights regarding our right to say what happens with our medication  is all over the internet its on this link here below along with the Human rights act and lots of other information why the Doctor CAN NOT make me, or anyone else come off or drop ANY drug I fear will cause me problems or harm to do so.

 

Also he LOVES Amitriptyline I CT of ages ago well year's ago he was like a fkn walking advert for them when he was here I'm sure he's getting bloody paid to promote  it he said ' I REALLY like this drug'' lots of times and kept going on about how wonderful it is WELL LET HIM EFFIN TAKE IT THEN!!!! The withdrawal is the SAME as coming off Benzos and I bloody CT'd it while in unbeknown Benzo withdrawal

 

And he thinks putting you on a high dose will compensate for any Benzo withdrawal??? THE MAN IS A PRICK!!!! I am pissed off as I've had to wait four days stressed to hell as I want to get it sorted out, waiting is the worse thing ever, especially when you know you have a right and the Doctor thiks he can do just what he wants? Monday can't come quick enough for me I can tell you I'm not sleeping as Its on my mind 24 hours a day until I can get it done tomorrow. Anyway the supreme court reversed informed consent in favour of the piatint not the Doctors say so I will repat again its illegal in this country to do what my Doctor is doing he can be sued and in some cases get struck off  and have his licence to practice stripped from him as well by the GMC ( General Medical Council)

 

Supreme Court reverses informed consent ruling: https://ukhumanrightsblog.com/2015/03/13/supreme-court-reverses-informed-consent-ruling-sidaway-is-dead/

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

[[He...]]

Valley,

So glad you are here.Ii know it’s wrong  of me to expect you to take care of all of us. It’s an unfair burden I am placing on you. I am sorry. I’m a big girl and I have to be brave.

But I do want you to know, that  just knowing you are there, even if you are not posting means the world to me. You are the one who put me on the right path. There are others I thank in my heart everyday, but you are the first person who gave me hope and such good advice.  :thumbsup:

 

YOU ARE MY HERO!

 

I hope you are doing better than ok and that all is well in your personal life too. Bless you!

 

Heath

Thanks Heath! I am here reading even if not posting as much. Things are going well overall. Work has me exhausted most of the time lol.

 

You’ve certainly helped many in the group. That’s what’s so great about the long hold support group. There are always buddies there ready to help.  —V

 

 

 

I know what you mean about exhausted. I’m working with first graders. Counting days until spring break! Take it slow and don’t forget to breathe. Hope things settle down for you.

 

[[Ba...]]

Hi, have 2 questions for the group...

 

First, some of us on long holds but, uh, old.  Anyone know if Medicare (not caid) ever provides home health care for those homebound.  I read they do but a dr. must recommend it (uh, where does one find such a dr?  Certainly not the ones who say a drug can't cause major CNS problems)?  If you live alone would be nice if occasionally you were looked in on.  Read that Medicare  can provide social services??  I guess it is only temporary but that is better than nothing.

 

Very alone and insecure on own with nobody.

 

Second... I was put on mirtazapine which started my probs... I jumped off after 5 half doses...  wound up bedridden and very very sick.  My stomach has recovered and most eye probs are gone, but the rest not much improved in a year.

 

During that time have almost entirely moved from klon to valium, but the dose is not much lower.

 

Could what I suffer from all be mirtazapine withdrawal (only on it 6 weeks at small dose, see sig) and maybe should not have tried to further taper benzos at that time?  It was a very uneventful little taper until all hell broke loose and now very bad off.

 

Thank you all.

[[NJ...]]

Barbara, hopefully someone with more knowledge will have an answer for you. I am not yet 50 so don't know about home health care. Do you have any friends/family?

 

I probably would have held for a while after tapering mirt before tapering benzos. I'd be curious to know if your switch to valium helped you.

 

I am having a rough time. I know I mentioned my sleep has not been that great the last few weeks. Not sure why. I am under stress--mom has a degenerative neurological condition and has little support and I live 120 miles away, son away at college struggling socially, my job is not great but cannot find a new one. Tonight, I have been throwing up/diarrhea for several hours now. I know if I could sleep I would be fine, but don't know when the sleep will come. Supposed to see my other son do something tomorrow, need to make that if I can.

 

I have been tapering for almost two years. I still have a long way to go, at .37K now. I see a therapist regularly. She says I am her most physically symptomatic patient. I work full time, kid in college and private school. I just don't know if I can continue like this much longer. I am starting to experience menopausal symptoms. My therapist and psychiatrist told me to updose back to 1 mg in August. I held out then, but with all the sleep disturbances and the constant nausea, I am just  really not sure. Before this tapering business I was not in bad shape. So unsure. I am beginning to think poly drugged and high dosages would be okay if it just gets me to the next day the next year. Encouraging words appreciated.

[[be...]]

Where are Begood?  Valleyum? ATU? Anne? Lynne? Are you buddies all gone?

i think I’m not the only one missing our old buddy friends.

Well I hope you are all doing very very well.

 

Heath

Heath I am here, you should have went back a few pages I was asking about you. Lynn walked off the benzo and is now at her Florida home, you can read her Plog, she is doing very well, she took her time and did not rush...she drops in every now and then. ATU has been very sick and hopefully he is better. The cold virus I had lasted over a month and I was very sick, in fact if I had the Flu instead I would have been dead by now, the cold sx's very hard and long. Anne is busy teaching and has other things going on that keeps her busy, she drops in on My Blog when she is able, so far her taper is going well, because she is not rushing it...Valley is busy making tons of money, but he is still Our Leader here and he comes as often as he can. I bet he has built a new chicken coup with AC and Heat for the chickens. I am doing well with my taper, there is no way I am going to rush it, if it is working why would I do that, I know how bad it can get when I rushed off the other two times.

 

Just my thoughts, you have done very well, why would you want to hurry up your taper, you are almost home free, I know that Slowly was able to stop at .25mg I think that was her dosage, but....she was having no sx's and as she went lower she felt better, she is doing well and had no acute or anything. Of course we are all different, but it is not always rushing the race, but keeping level all the way down to your walk off or slide off. Just my thoughts, I know when one wants to something nothing can change their mind. Best to you always. 🕊 Peace.

[[Ba...]]

NJ,  hi.

 

Thx for reply.  I just don't know!!!  I feel your pain.

 

I was way healthier as I tapered down (was on about 1/3 of a .5 klon), when took the mirtazapine and fell apart...  sick both on and off.  Worse off I guess but on was horrible.

 

So then you read stories of people who get off and heal, but you don't know how many experienced that or went back on.

 

I do not have family and friends-- very isolated. 

I am just me.

 

I have had bad symptoms all the way along and am not much less than when I started, just on valium other than .005 klonopin.  So what did I accomplish?

 

IF it is true must get of benzos maybe no other choice.  But it was me that does not trust them after 2 drs told me mirtaz "could not do this."  It did this.  Now the interplay between it and benzos I don't know.  Nor what is wisest for me to do.

 

40 years, I figure, approx of benzos.  Never a high dose.  2 mg was my highest and that was several years back.  1 mg was ok... half was ok...  then less (figured it did not help me so why be on it)... then mirtaz ;(((((

 

You at least are functional and working and out there so I'd say you're doing pretty well!!!  I sure hope we figure this out.

 

Wishing you well!

[[Va...]]

Barbara, hopefully someone with more knowledge will have an answer for you. I am not yet 50 so don't know about home health care. Do you have any friends/family?

 

I probably would have held for a while after tapering mirt before tapering benzos. I'd be curious to know if your switch to valium helped you.

 

I am having a rough time. I know I mentioned my sleep has not been that great the last few weeks. Not sure why. I am under stress--mom has a degenerative neurological condition and has little support and I live 120 miles away, son away at college struggling socially, my job is not great but cannot find a new one. Tonight, I have been throwing up/diarrhea for several hours now. I know if I could sleep I would be fine, but don't know when the sleep will come. Supposed to see my other son do something tomorrow, need to make that if I can.

 

I have been tapering for almost two years. I still have a long way to go, at .37K now. I see a therapist regularly. She says I am her most physically symptomatic patient. I work full time, kid in college and private school. I just don't know if I can continue like this much longer. I am starting to experience menopausal symptoms. My therapist and psychiatrist told me to updose back to 1 mg in August. I held out then, but with all the sleep disturbances and the constant nausea, I am just  really not sure. Before this tapering business I was not in bad shape. So unsure. I am beginning to think poly drugged and high dosages would be okay if it just gets me to the next day the next year. Encouraging words appreciated.

Hi NJ. I know sometimes the thought of staying on drugs is appealing sometimes when we are really struggling and we all have to doi what we have to do. Unfortunately it will catch up to us again and we will have to either increase doseages or face the dragon. I’m sorry you’re feeling overwhelmed. It is those very times that cause us to think less clearly and feel desperate to find a way to minimize the suffering.  You have a lot going on. Try to take it easy on yourself and hold as long as you need to if needed. As with all things in life “this to shall pass”.  —V

[[Va...]]

Hi, have 2 questions for the group...

 

First, some of us on long holds but, uh, old.  Anyone know if Medicare (not caid) ever provides home health care for those homebound.  I read they do but a dr. must recommend it (uh, where does one find such a dr?  Certainly not the ones who say a drug can't cause major CNS problems)?  If you live alone would be nice if occasionally you were looked in on.  Read that Medicare  can provide social services??  I guess it is only temporary but that is better than nothing.

 

Very alone and insecure on own with nobody.

 

Second... I was put on mirtazapine which started my probs... I jumped off after 5 half doses...  wound up bedridden and very very sick.  My stomach has recovered and most eye probs are gone, but the rest not much improved in a year.

 

During that time have almost entirely moved from klon to valium, but the dose is not much lower.

 

Could what I suffer from all be mirtazapine withdrawal (only on it 6 weeks at small dose, see sig) and maybe should not have tried to further taper benzos at that time?  It was a very uneventful little taper until all hell broke loose and now very bad off.

 

Thank you all.

Hi Barbara. I will checked with my wife.  She was a director for a home health company and she said Medicaid will pay for 100 visits per year if you are home bound. You just have to get the doctor to order it which most will likely do. .  —V

[[To...]]

TOO MANY BENNIES....

HI ITS ME HEATHCLIFF.

IVE BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR POSTS.

I HAVE WATCHED YOU GO DOWN YOUR JOURNEY AND JUMP.

I WATCHED ASYOU WENT FROM1 mg in Sept to jumping in January.

 

I am so happy for you . I see it’s one month since you have been freed from your benzo. How are you doing? Any wdsx? If so are they mild or bad?

 

I am also kind of envious of you. I have been going soooo slow. I have only minimal wdsx and only from time to time. I am actually feeling quite well on my journey.

I am at .630 mg diazapam right now.

But I want to go faster than the .002 or .003 or sometimes ..005 that I am reducing daily in my DLMT .

 

Any suggestions or advice you have to help me have the guts to go faster?

I see. You tapered off or Lorazepam. Is that easier to do than to taper off of diazapam?

I am so sick of this daily regime. I want off! But I’m afraid of wdsx

 

Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS! I hope you are feeling free and fine!

 

Heathcliff

 

Hi Heath! Thanks for your comments.

 

I am very happy that I am now at the 4 week point post jump. The best part about it is that I do not think about benzos at all. Even when I have felt high anxiety, never once have I thought about taking a rescue dose or anything like that.

 

I also can't say that I have experienced physical w/d sxs -- unless sleep falls into that category. I think, on average, my sleep quality and duration went down about 15-20%. That puts a bit of downward pressure on mood. I have been able to take naps on days where I am really bleary. Before and during my taper there was no way that I could fall asleep during the day. Now I can do that.

 

The big issue for me, post-taper, is that adding new stressors is keeping my anxiety levels higher, and I have had a few spikes lately. In order to live life, I have to keep figuring out how to get through this stuff.

 

I can definitely relate to you feeling that you are going too slow or you want to speed it up. The lower I got, the more I wanted to be able to just get on with it and wrap it up. Even though my path might have been faster than others, it was always one that I could physically handle and I just went with that. I slowed up when I had to, and I took advantage of times when I was feeling good. I did have to continuously negotiate with my doctor, who was generally supportive, but wanted me off faster. In the end, she agreed to my plan, but I always felt a bit of back pressure that I was not going to have an indefinite supply to count on, so I had to keep at it.

 

Having said that, I can only say that you have to go with the way you feel. If you do not have pressure on supply, and you are following a process that has you feeling good, what is the impetus to change up on that process? Maybe experiment a little and see if you can bring it up a tick or two, but be careful about messing with success. You are doing very well. Keep at it!

 

All the best!

 

 

[[...]]

Hi, have 2 questions for the group...

 

First, some of us on long holds but, uh, old.  Anyone know if Medicare (not caid) ever provides home health care for those homebound.  I read they do but a dr. must recommend it (uh, where does one find such a dr?  Certainly not the ones who say a drug can't cause major CNS problems)?  If you live alone would be nice if occasionally you were looked in on.  Read that Medicare  can provide social services??  I guess it is only temporary but that is better than nothing.

 

Very alone and insecure on own with nobody.

 

Second... I was put on mirtazapine which started my probs... I jumped off after 5 half doses...  wound up bedridden and very very sick.  My stomach has recovered and most eye probs are gone, but the rest not much improved in a year.

 

During that time have almost entirely moved from klon to valium, but the dose is not much lower.

 

Could what I suffer from all be mirtazapine withdrawal (only on it 6 weeks at small dose, see sig) and maybe should not have tried to further taper benzos at that time?  It was a very uneventful little taper until all hell broke loose and now very bad off.

 

Thank you all.

 

Hi Barbara ,

I am on disability , and get some minimal social security benefits . I applied for what's called IHSS , In home services . I also qualify for medi- cal , living in CA .

 

When I applied for IHSS , I had to get my doctor to sign off on the forms . I wrote a long letter to him with my health history , he wouldn't say adrenal fatigue or use any of the other things I mentioned , he would only say chronic fatigue !

Anyway , he signed off on that .

 

They sent soemone round to interview me , I have to say it was grueling , but I made it through an hour and half of questioning , and he could see I was completely not able to take care of things like, shopping and driving , even though he didn't really go with the chronic fatigue thing.

They assigned me 6 1/2 hours week . Which is fine for my needs . I was fortunate to have a friend who is approved by IHSS and she is now providing services like shopping , laundry, cleaning , and other small errands . It's nice to know I have soemone to depend on for these things .

 

I don't know what State you are in , but you need to contact social services and ask them about in home help . I'm sure you would qualify .

I'm not retired age , so I don't know how that differs from Medicare?

 

Still , I think you have a good chance of getting help , don't you have some other health issues ? Does your doc know about them ?

 

I wish you all the best Barbara.  These processes a re always an ordeal , bit worth it in the end I think .

 

Love, MiYu 

 

[[Ba...]]

I am not on Medicaid.

 

Medicare only.

 

I know you get way more benefits from Medicaid, but think you cannot have more than 2000 in your bank acct.

 

So do you think I could get help?

 

Think possibly if I find a dr. who is nice he could order some social services type thing.  Otherwise, Medicare ONLY helps if you are in a wheelchair or something, from what I've read.  There is some language about social services or therapy and yes I would be relieved to have something, anything, as a backstop.

 

My dr. is an idiot and am not going back.  Wonder what type dr would need to say I am housebound and need a little attention?  Even someone calling to check would help.  Open to ideas.  I think Medicare does have people helpp if you are like in a wheelchair.

[[Va...]]

I am not on Medicaid.

 

Medicare only.

 

I know you get way more benefits from Medicaid, but think you cannot have more than 2000 in your bank acct.

 

So do you think I could get help?

 

Think possibly if I find a dr. who is nice he could order some social services type thing.  Otherwise, Medicare ONLY helps if you are in a wheelchair or something, from what I've read.  There is some language about social services or therapy and yes I would be relieved to have something, anything, as a backstop.

 

My dr. is an idiot and am not going back.  Wonder what type dr would need to say I am housebound and need a little attention?  Even someone calling to check would help.  Open to ideas.  I think Medicare does have people helpp if you are like in a wheelchair.

I believe you can get some services. You can always check to see how much is available.  —V

[[Ba...]]

Check where?

Phoned Medicare seems as if it noat skilled working care, and physical, they don't do much.

?

[[He...]]

TOO MANY BENNIES....

HI ITS ME HEATHCLIFF.

IVE BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR POSTS.

I HAVE WATCHED YOU GO DOWN YOUR JOURNEY AND JUMP.

I WATCHED ASYOU WENT FROM1 mg in Sept to jumping in January.

 

I am so happy for you . I see it’s one month since you have been freed from your benzo. How are you doing? Any wdsx? If so are they mild or bad?

 

I am also kind of envious of you. I have been going soooo slow. I have only minimal wdsx and only from time to time. I am actually feeling quite well on my journey.

I am at .630 mg diazapam right now.

But I want to go faster than the .002 or .003 or sometimes ..005 that I am reducing daily in my DLMT .

 

Any suggestions or advice you have to help me have the guts to go faster?

I see. You tapered off or Lorazepam. Is that easier to do than to taper off of diazapam?

I am so sick of this daily regime. I want off! But I’m afraid of wdsx

 

Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS! I hope you are feeling free and fine!

 

Heathcliff

 

Hi Heath! Thanks for your comments.

 

I am very happy that I am now at the 4 week point post jump. The best part about it is that I do not think about benzos at all. Even when I have felt high anxiety, never once have I thought about taking a rescue dose or anything like that.

 

I also can't say that I have experienced physical w/d sxs -- unless sleep falls into that category. I think, on average, my sleep quality and duration went down about 15-20%. That puts a bit of downward pressure on mood. I have been able to take naps on days where I am really bleary. Before and during my taper there was no way that I could fall asleep during the day. Now I can do that.

 

The big issue for me, post-taper, is that adding new stressors is keeping my anxiety levels higher, and I have had a few spikes lately. In order to live life, I have to keep figuring out how to get through this stuff.

 

I can definitely relate to you feeling that you are going too slow or you want to speed it up. The lower I got, the more I wanted to be able to just get on with it and wrap it up. Even though my path might have been faster than others, it was always one that I could physically handle and I just went with that. I slowed up when I had to, and I took advantage of times when I was feeling good. I did have to continuously negotiate with my doctor, who was generally supportive, but wanted me off faster. In the end, she agreed to my plan, but I always felt a bit of back pressure that I was not going to have an indefinite supply to count on, so I had to keep at it.

 

Having said that, I can only say that you have to go with the way you feel. If you do not have pressure on supply, and you are following a process that has you feeling good, what is the impetus to change up on that process? Maybe experiment a little and see if you can bring it up a tick or two, but be careful about messing with success. You are doing very well. Keep at it!

 

All the best!

 

 

 

Too many Bennies,

You are so wise. I have soaked up everyth8ng you posted to me so I remember what you said for a long long time. I will go a bit faster when I feel that I can but not rush ahead indefinitely. I will be cautious and jump off this diazapam when the time is right.. Thanks for putting me back on the right path.

 

All the  best ,Heathcliff

[[St...]]

Hi folks as you can see from my signature l am down to 2 mgs of diazepam and holding.l found this last cut horrendous and decided to sit as long as l needed however l am starting to despair as the withdrawal symptoms are not easing and l really would love to know if this really does level off.My mind keeps telling me to keep tapering and that it's never going to ease off.Any help would really help.Thank you

[[Va...]]

Check where?

Phoned Medicare seems as if it noat skilled working care, and physical, they don't do much.

?

I’ll try to find out more and get back to you.  —V

[[Va...]]

Hi folks as you can see from my signature l am down to 2 mgs of diazepam and holding.l found this last cut horrendous and decided to sit as long as l needed however l am starting to despair as the withdrawal symptoms are not easing and l really would love to know if this really does level off.My mind keeps telling me to keep tapering and that it's never going to ease off.Any help would really help.Thank you

Hi Stut. I can only tell you that the sxs did level off for me but it did take a long while. It was the best decision I made as I have been able to move forward steadily ever since.  Your mind will play tricks on you. For some reason the anxiety seems to encourage us to keep cutting even though that’s probably the worst thing we can do when very unstable IMO.  —V

[[St...]]

Thank you so much Valley l seem to have got very obsessive about my taper and I also have no patience at all.l think this whole process makes you feel despair.l hope things do settle as l want to get off these drugs and never go back.Again thank you