The Long Hold Support Group

[[Su...]]

This is such an active board I can’t find who responded to me a couple weeks ago. Thanks I appreciate the support! I’m still making tiny cuts and holding and this is the most stable I’ve ever been. I am living a pretty full life. I have had some bad insomnia but I’ve had that many times before so it’s bearable. I think the long hold is a great solution and at .05 klonopin I’m okay to keep going at a snails pace. Hope everyone is doing well and getting some sleep out there!

 

Hi there WW,

It looks like things are settling down for you after your sprint  ( i sprinted too when I started this whole thing.. )  then I found the turtles, and saw how much better that  pace was for me....   Great to see you here.

I'm sleeping but that 's with the help of a sliver remeron --  love remeron at this house!!

:smitten:

SS

[[He...]]

Hi Valley, how are you doing, has those pesky sx settled down for you?. Glad you are back, we need your wisdom and support. Peace.

Hi BG! Today was ok with no major sxs.  I do get tremors once in a while but they never last more than a few minutes.

 

I hope you’re feeling better. You’re getting lower and lower and showing us all how it’s done. 

Just don't push to hard, but you know this. I am getting better. Yes 3 more days of taper and then I will be at 0.55mg of Valium. Still have a long time to go, as I like doing the month long holds after my 10 day tapers, it works so far for me, and I am not rushing anything always going to be a .

 

That's a really neat system - tapering 10 days, hold 30.  .55V  Nice Job! 

 

 

WowBG Now you’re almost at .55 . Yes indeed the turtles are winning the race with you at the head of the class!  You sure now how to do it! I wish everyone could have the success you are experiencing! And so many of us here also know the struggles you have had and did not give up! You certainly are the picture of a true gladiator! So happy for you and so glad you are here to show us the way!

I wish you only good things as you slide off your Benzo-poison. And I just know it will be an easy slide because of the way you are turtling along!

 

All the best! ❤️

 

Heath

From one 🐢 to another 🐢 you have become a good teacher to all here and you have come so far from your early days, very Proud of you. 🕊 Peace.

 

 

Yes I remember those days of terrible fear and withdrawal. Had no idea what I was doing. But you and Valley um saved me. You are the one who told me V was a male, not a female. That was a laugh alright. 

Heath. :smitten:

[[Al...]]

ATU,

 

Just want to say I'm sorry about your Dad.  I know how that is in that I lost mine 3 years ago... followed by my Mom last year... followed by found out sister is sociopath/narcissist and stole lots of stuff... followed by HUGE intense withdrawal/ illness on mirtazapine.

 

You are right, when it rains it pours, huh?  Every time I've thought it can't get worse-- it has gotten worse!

 

But I figure the odds are things have to stabilize and get better now

 

Hope you are hanging in.

 

BarbaraAve,

 

Thank you for your kind words. Life continues to carry on all around while we taper down and little things feel huge to us and really bad things seem impossible to shoulder. But we must carry on and continue. It has to get better at some point. 

 

Be well.

 

ATU🙏

[[He...]]

 

 

Hello fellow turtles!  Just dropping by to do a little catching up and to report on 6 months out (can't recall whether I already did - so apologies if repetitive ).

 

I am well and happy!  Very well.  Post-taper continues to go very nicely with continued improvement.  I hope to be 100% in the next few months.  I am living a full and joyous life and look forward to each and every one of you joining me.

 

Current sxs:  MILD, MILD, MILD    (T, neck tension, foot tingling)

 

 

 

All the best, always :smitten:

 

 

GREEN IS FOR GO!

WAY TO GO LYNN!

KEEP GOING IN STYLE!

 

Heath

[[Su...]]

Lynn

Thanks as always for the inspiration and support... Forging ahead of us still on here.

Intrepid!

:smitten:

SS

[[ga...]]

Also I'm having trouble how do I even cross over. I am due to take a 1mg kolopin instead of a 1mg xanax at 1am. I am terrified

 

Dreaming, I have only been skimming over this thread, so I apologize if I missed something in your story. I think your doctor is suggesting you try an abrupt crossover to K. But he's not forcing you? You still have your X?

 

I did a one-day try of flipping from X to L (with a doctor who wouldn't allow a slow cross). X and L are very different drugs, but nothing really horrible happened from just trying that substitution for one day. But when I learned that I had been prescribed the L at half the dose of my X, I decided to go back to my old prescriber to do a slow crossover. X and L are so different that an abrupt cross was not a good plan anyway. 

 

That's the only experience I have. You might want to try the substitution board. That's their main thing. Maybe someone there has tried a straight switch from X to K like your doctor is suggesting. BTW, that's not an unusual suggestion. I had 2 different prescribers suggest the very same thing to me, direct switch from X to K. I think it must work for some people. 

 

Gard

[[lo...]]

Hey gardener,

       

 

Yeah he gave me 5, 1mg kolopin with my normal xanax script. He told me to try one in place of a xanax and see if it is better, he did tell me I might want to do it with a night time dose because he said kolopin tends to make people more sleepy. I had planned on trying it at 1am last night,  even gad a friend stay with me... but I hit overwhelmed with anxiety of something bad happening at to my xanax. I may try it tonight, I am very very scared. I know how the xanax effects me typically 30to45 mins after I notice my thoughts and fears calmed,

[[To...]]

...

 

TooManyBennys,

 

Congratulations on your jump.  You amazed me with your rapid taper.  I would be bedridden if I went that fast.  I hope it is smooth sailing for you and any waves are small and short lived.

 

...

Gingermint - thank you!

 

Just got back from a fast-paced 3 day trip. Thought that maybe if anything would be a stressful challenge that would. Turned out that it didn't rev me up at all. So, I guess it has been smooth sailing now 1 week out.

 

It looks like your taper is going so well. Hope this latest cut goes smoothly for you!

[[To...]]

Miyu,

 

So glad to read you are feeling better and your baseline is improving.

It’s also great to read Begood comments and her back.

 

I am still fighting this cold from hell and now after burrying my Sister just in October last my Dad passed last night, It never rains but pours eh!

 

Oh well life keeps handing me all this crap almost like it says no way are you getting off this stuff.

 

I’ll have to make arrangements now to get this done. I’ll be silent for a while yet.

 

Stay well everyone. 

 

ATU🙏

ATU - sorry to hear about your Dad's passing. Sincerest condolences. It does feel at times like life is throwing down all kinds of speed bumps and road blocks. It can be discouraging. Strength to you to see this through.

[[To...]]

 

 

Hello fellow turtles!  Just dropping by to do a little catching up and to report on 6 months out (can't recall whether I already did - so apologies if repetitive ).

 

I am well and happy!  Very well.  Post-taper continues to go very nicely with continued improvement.  I hope to be 100% in the next few months.  I am living a full and joyous life and look forward to each and every one of you joining me.

 

Current sxs:  MILD, MILD, MILD    (T, neck tension, foot tingling)

 

All the best, always :smitten:

Lynn, thanks for posting such an inspiring update! Gives me a lot of hope.

[[...]]

Lostdaydreaming, I'm sorry you're having a rough time .

I just wanted to let you know  my experience ,  my cross was from a longer acting benzo - Valium , back to K . I did it all in one go. For me this was not a good idea... but I believe thats because of the long half life of the Valium , and it took time to leave my system . But , they are also different drugs , and I think it can take ones body time to get used to a different drug . things have settled down a lot since I mde that switch even tho it wasn't easy.

 

You really won't know til you try .

It sounds like the xanax is not working for you anymore ? So , imo , it'd be worth trying the klonopin  for the longer half life .

 

You can try one , and if it doesn't agree with you can always stay with the xanax . I wish you all the best. you'll be ok. I know it's really hard sometimes, but you'll get through this.

Let us know how you do .

Love , miyu ❤

[[Al...]]

Miyu,

 

So glad to read you are feeling better and your baseline is improving.

It’s also great to read Begood comments and her back.

 

I am still fighting this cold from hell and now after burrying my Sister just in October last my Dad passed last night, It never rains but pours eh!

 

Oh well life keeps handing me all this crap almost like it says no way are you getting off this stuff.

 

I’ll have to make arrangements now to get this done. I’ll be silent for a while yet.

 

Stay well everyone. 

 

ATU🙏

ATU - sorry to hear about your Dad's passing. Sincerest condolences. It does feel at times like life is throwing down all kinds of speed bumps and road blocks. It can be discouraging. Strength to you to see this through.

 

TooManyBennies,

 

Thank you for your kind words of support and congratulations on your recent jump! 

 

ATU 🙏

[[NJ...]]

ATU,

 

Please take good care of yourself--grief has a way of sneaking up on you; I really felt okay when my dad died but four months later was a complete mess. And you just lost your sister. I am so sorry for your losses.

 

Loss may be a "normal" part of life but it is still so damn hard.

[[He...]]

HI ATU,

I LOST MY BROTHER AT A FAR TOO YOUNG AGE, MY MOM AND DAD PASSED TOO EARLY AS WELL.

I KNOW HOW MUCH GRIEF AND SADNESS CAN COLOR YOUR DAYS.  ESPECIALLY IF THE BOND YOU HAD  WITH YIUR SISTER WAS A STRONG AND LOVING ONE.

 

TRY TO GET COMFORT FROM THE ONES CLOSE TO YOU. I KNOW THINGS WILL GET BETTER WITH TIME BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT GRIEVING NEVER LEAVES TOTALLY AND WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT  EVEN MONTHS AND YEARS DOWN THE ROAD, YOU WILL ALL OF A SUDDEN BURST INTO TEARS.

 

JUST KNOW ITS VERY NORMAL. LET IT ALL COME OUT. I PROMISE...TIME WILL HEAL YOUR HURT. YOU WILL BE OKAY!

You have my deepest and sincere condolences.

  Oh...sorry for the capital letters. I did not mean to shout but I don’t want to write all over again.

 

I am so sorry for your loss!

Heathcliff❤️

[[no...]]

ATU My condolences to you  I too have lost family member's and very close friends over the last 6 months it seems to be very week someone goes, I know its 'Natural law'' but its treble hard at a time like this  Please take care of yourself the best you can that's all any of us can do xxx

 

 

 

Hi everyone  Well I am now 6 months and one day into my up-dose I didn't want to do but had too to enable me to move away from the neighbour form hell and long hold. I only know  now how long I've been holding this dose as I never check unless I post on here and someone needs the info for any reason as its no use looking at the calendar it will happen when it happens.   Anyway I am at 10mg and I have been moving my doses about  to see if that made a difference as my baseline is crap and I'm very symptomatic but functional most days, by this I mean I'm able to do what I need to survive but I can't go out and about, live a ''normal' day to day life, I isolate myself as its to much to be around others. And life is too noisy as well as I'm very hypersensitive to sound, smells, vibration, touch whatever sense we have mine are  in over drive

 

But I am grateful I am able to do what I can others are worse off than my worse I know that. Anyway I found that I get more sleep if I take the lowest dose at night I take 3 doses a day 2 at 4MG, and 1 at 2MG, I want to cut out the afternoon dose when  I start to cut again  so I been taking 4mg at night for 2 or 3 weeks  instead of my normal 2mg, but I find it takes ages to fall asleep if I do get to sleep at all.

 

Then I wake up continuously at short intervals, so the higher dose is having a paradoxical effect, I do get swings between bouts of insomnia at lower doses as a matter of course, but this is another level altogether, more insomnia than not and clock watching as I can't sleep. So last night I only took 2mg last PM dose last night and slept a lot better and longer, but still awoke feeling my usual hell self no matter how much sleep I get I STILL feel bloody terrible and sometimes the longer I sleep the worse I feel and others have said that as well. Why that is  I have my own theory that its a build up of a certain Hormone and its very technical and I'm not going into the science realm to explain it as it took me a couple of months reading and researching and did my head in!!

 

Too much stimulation effs me up, even posting takes its toll on me  :D Anyhoo, I also got more sedated as I got lower in doses before I was forced to updose, Diazepam never sedated me at my full dos either it just made matters worse but I didn't know about 'paradoxical'' effects'' with drugs and the Doctor Juts kept upping the dose when I said the drug don't work, and I was aware it made me more bloody alert than sedated apart form the odd occasion when I took a low dose from my full dose during the day before it was due. And here is another thing I'd forgot, Christmas day I was invited to my sister's I wasn't going to go as I spent the last 4 laying on my floor with symptoms unable to do anything except hold on, and by the afternoon I was in a mega state worrying about not feeling good and ending up worse if I went. I was getting worse by the second and decided fk it!

 

I'm going to take another 4mg as I  couldn't breathe, the shaking was terrible just everything blew up and I'm not great 24/7 usually anyway, and I didn't expect it to do anything to be honest, and was thinking why did I bother? Its bloody futile! I up-dosed by 6mg to where I am now months ago and I'm still not stable?? Too my utter surprise and disbelief it worked! ALL my symptoms were gone within an hour, ones I had for year's ALL went I was normal, except a few hours later I began to feel ropey as there was a LOT of arguing going on there the music was 160 decibels, and I felt very fatigued, suddenly ill and desperate to get home  coz of all the crap kicking off all that noise so off I went . 

 

No I do NOT plan to do it again it was a ONE off, but it proved that my CNS is STILL very unstable, and regardless of how long I've been holding or the fact I still feel like hell most of the time I need to hold longer.  And even if I stayed at 14mg there is still the possibility that I could end up waiting months down the line to stabilise properly anyway, and end up setting myself even further back to wait, so I'm sticking at 10mg and taking the kicking 

 

 

So its all a matter of waiting and holding on until my brain can catch up,  also I've just switched my dosing schedule around less than 24 hours ago so that's another change my brains got to deal with, and that's enough for now. I also had a 40% window for a few hours recently too so its one thing at a time, no more little ' self experiments'' or ''changes'' until I see where this dose change  I did last night is going and the fact that if a one off up-dose took ALL my symptoms away, even severe ones I had for year's  for a few hours. Then my brain needs more time to catch up with the dose I'm holding at for a while longer. 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[ba...]]

ATU My condolences to you  I too have lost family member's and very close friends over the last 6 months it seems to be very week someone goes, I know its 'Natural law'' but its treble hard at a time like this  Please take care of yourself the best you can that's all any of us can do xxx

 

 

 

Hi everyone  Well I am now 6 months and one day into my up-dose I didn't want to do but had too to enable me to move away from the neighbour form hell and long hold. I only know  now how long I've been holding this dose as I never check unless I post on here and someone needs the info for any reason as its no use looking at the calendar it will happen when it happens.   Anyway I am at 10mg and I have been moving my doses about  to see if that made a difference as my baseline is crap and I'm very symptomatic but functional most days, by this I mean I'm able to do what I need to survive but I can't go out and about, live a ''normal' day to day life, I isolate myself as its to much to be around others. And life is too noisy as well as I'm very hypersensitive to sound, smells, vibration, touch whatever sense we have mine are  in over drive

 

But I am grateful I am able to do what I can others are worse off than my worse I know that. Anyway I found that I get more sleep if I take the lowest dose at night I take 3 doses a day 2 at 4MG, and 1 at 2MG, I want to cut out the afternoon dose when  I start to cut again  so I been taking 4mg at night for 2 or 3 weeks  instead of my normal 2mg, but I find it takes ages to fall asleep if I do get to sleep at all.

 

Then I wake up continuously at short intervals, so the higher dose is having a paradoxical effect, I do get swings between bouts of insomnia at lower doses as a matter of course, but this is another level altogether, more insomnia than not and clock watching as I can't sleep. So last night I only took 2mg last PM dose last night and slept a lot better and longer, but still awoke feeling my usual hell self no matter how much sleep I get I STILL feel bloody terrible and sometimes the longer I sleep the worse I feel and others have said that as well. Why that is  I have my own theory that its a build up of a certain Hormone and its very technical and I'm not going into the science realm to explain it as it took me a couple of months reading and researching and did my head in!!

 

Too much stimulation effs me up, even posting takes its toll on me  :D Anyhoo, I also got more sedated as I got lower in doses before I was forced to updose, Diazepam never sedated me at my full dos either it just made matters worse but I didn't know about 'paradoxical'' effects'' with drugs and the Doctor Juts kept upping the dose when I said the drug don't work, and I was aware it made me more bloody alert than sedated apart form the odd occasion when I took a low dose from my full dose during the day before it was due. And here is another thing I'd forgot, Christmas day I was invited to my sister's I wasn't going to go as I spent the last 4 laying on my floor with symptoms unable to do anything except hold on, and by the afternoon I was in a mega state worrying about not feeling good and ending up worse if I went. I was getting worse by the second and decided fk it!

 

I'm going to take another 4mg as I  couldn't breathe, the shaking was terrible just everything blew up and I'm not great 24/7 usually anyway, and I didn't expect it to do anything to be honest, and was thinking why did I bother? Its bloody futile! I up-dosed by 6mg to where I am now months ago and I'm still not stable?? Too my utter surprise and disbelief it worked! ALL my symptoms were gone within an hour, ones I had for year's ALL went I was normal, except a few hours later I began to feel ropey as there was a LOT of arguing going on there the music was 160 decibels, and I felt very fatigued, suddenly ill and desperate to get home  coz of all the crap kicking off all that noise so off I went . 

 

No I do NOT plan to do it again it was a ONE off, but it proved that my CNS is STILL very unstable, and regardless of how long I've been holding or the fact I still feel like hell most of the time I need to hold longer.  And even if I stayed at 14mg there is still the possibility that I could end up waiting months down the line to stabilise properly anyway, and end up setting myself even further back to wait, so I'm sticking at 10mg and taking the kicking 

 

 

So its all a matter of waiting and holding on until my brain can catch up,  also I've just switched my dosing schedule around less than 24 hours ago so that's another change my brains got to deal with, and that's enough for now. I also had a 40% window for a few hours recently too so its one thing at a time, no more little ' self experiments'' or ''changes'' until I see where this dose change  I did last night is going and the fact that if a one off up-dose took ALL my symptoms away, even severe ones I had for year's  for a few hours. Then my brain needs more time to catch up with the dose I'm holding at for a while longer. 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

In a similar place. Still very dominated by sxs. Appreciate your sharing the whole story and how you feel. I have been more isolated than ever, I don't want to deal with over stimulation.

 

I quit taking a 3ed (evening dose) months ago. I upped my other 2 doses so the drop would not be severe in terms of total dosage. I started by taking 1/3 of the usual dose, then after a week or 2, dropped it. I experimented much later with a pm dose, and found it did nothing to help me sleep. (A few times, not out of freaking out, but as a test)

 

I'm wanting to start tapering again soon from the current long hold. I am also tapering seroquel, so I gave this change in how I take my total dosage, as well as seroquel tapering some time.

 

Would like to learn what you discovered about longer sleep making things difficult. I was sleeping 1.5-2 hours and waking up, often staying awake along time, then another 1,5-2 hours, and sometimes a 1 hour sleep when I took my first  benzo dose in the morning. Last week, I started sleeping longer, something I thought would never happen. I still wake up, but am going about 3 hours now before waking up.

 

We all have to find our own way. Every time I make a change, it's different. For my next reduction, I plan to start micro cutting. Haven't done it before, going to give it a try.

 

 

 

 

[[bl...]]

ATU:

So, so sorry for your loss. Hang in there. Thinking of you. You will make it through.

Blue

[[He...]]

Baddove and Nova,

 

I am so sorry that you both seem to be so unstable and suffering so much. I hope things do settle down SOON. I know it is so very hard to hold for so long without seeing any real improvement.

If it makes you feel any better, I believe your sleep will return when you get lower in your dose and your CNS adjusts. I know it is taking you so long and. It is sondifficult to remain posit8ve, but you are both so very strong to have held out this long.

I hope you will remain steadfast to your hold and know that THERE IS A LIGHT AT 5HE END OF TJIS DARK TUNNEL, YOU WILL GET THERE, and you too will reap the rewards of your patience, courage and strength.

 

I sincerely hope from this day forward the your days will get better and better.

 

Take care! :smitten: :smitten:

 

Heathcliff

[[Ca...]]

Baddove and Nova,

 

I am so sorry that you both seem to be so unstable and suffering so much. I hope things do settle down SOON. I know it is so very hard to hold for so long without seeing any real improvement.

If it makes you feel any better, I believe your sleep will return when you get lower in your dose and your CNS adjusts. I know it is taking you so long and. It is sondifficult to remain posit8ve, but you are both so very strong to have held out this long.

I hope you will remain steadfast to your hold and know that THERE IS A LIGHT AT 5HE END OF TJIS DARK TUNNEL, YOU WILL GET THERE, and you too will reap the rewards of your patience, courage and strength.

 

I sincerely hope from this day forward the your days will get better and better.

 

Take care! :smitten: :smitten:

 

Heathcliff

 

FWIW As I  go lower my sleep is improving, even as other symptoms hang on and drive me crazy

[[Al...]]

NJstrength, Nova, Heath, Bluepill.

 

Thank you all for your words of wisdom and support during this difficult time. I am coping well at the moment. The service is this Saturday so we’ll see how it goes.

You are all so kind and reach out over and over again. Bless you all for your humanity.

 

ATU🙏❤️

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"Sista"[/glow] I know that Victory will be yours, you are one of the strongest people I know and you will have your day, I wish I could foretell the future and tell you the date, but I know you will have Wellness one day. Thank you for your support. 🕊 Peace and Hugs to you.

[[no...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"Sista"[/glow] I know that Victory will be yours, you are one of the strongest people I know and you will have your day, I wish I could foretell the future and tell you the date, but I know you will have Wellness one day. Thank you for your support. 🕊 Peace and Hugs to you.

Hi Sista'  Thank you for YOUR support and kind words always  Much love to you

 

 

Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[no...]]

ATU My condolences to you  I too have lost family member's and very close friends over the last 6 months it seems to be very week someone goes, I know its 'Natural law'' but its treble hard at a time like this  Please take care of yourself the best you can that's all any of us can do xxx

 

 

 

Hi everyone  Well I am now 6 months and one day into my up-dose I didn't want to do but had too to enable me to move away from the neighbour form hell and long hold. I only know  now how long I've been holding this dose as I never check unless I post on here and someone needs the info for any reason as its no use looking at the calendar it will happen when it happens.   Anyway I am at 10mg and I have been moving my doses about  to see if that made a difference as my baseline is crap and I'm very symptomatic but functional most days, by this I mean I'm able to do what I need to survive but I can't go out and about, live a ''normal' day to day life, I isolate myself as its to much to be around others. And life is too noisy as well as I'm very hypersensitive to sound, smells, vibration, touch whatever sense we have mine are  in over drive

 

But I am grateful I am able to do what I can others are worse off than my worse I know that. Anyway I found that I get more sleep if I take the lowest dose at night I take 3 doses a day 2 at 4MG, and 1 at 2MG, I want to cut out the afternoon dose when  I start to cut again  so I been taking 4mg at night for 2 or 3 weeks  instead of my normal 2mg, but I find it takes ages to fall asleep if I do get to sleep at all.

 

Then I wake up continuously at short intervals, so the higher dose is having a paradoxical effect, I do get swings between bouts of insomnia at lower doses as a matter of course, but this is another level altogether, more insomnia than not and clock watching as I can't sleep. So last night I only took 2mg last PM dose last night and slept a lot better and longer, but still awoke feeling my usual hell self no matter how much sleep I get I STILL feel bloody terrible and sometimes the longer I sleep the worse I feel and others have said that as well. Why that is  I have my own theory that its a build up of a certain Hormone and its very technical and I'm not going into the science realm to explain it as it took me a couple of months reading and researching and did my head in!!

 

Too much stimulation effs me up, even posting takes its toll on me  :D Anyhoo, I also got more sedated as I got lower in doses before I was forced to updose, Diazepam never sedated me at my full dos either it just made matters worse but I didn't know about 'paradoxical'' effects'' with drugs and the Doctor Juts kept upping the dose when I said the drug don't work, and I was aware it made me more bloody alert than sedated apart form the odd occasion when I took a low dose from my full dose during the day before it was due. And here is another thing I'd forgot, Christmas day I was invited to my sister's I wasn't going to go as I spent the last 4 laying on my floor with symptoms unable to do anything except hold on, and by the afternoon I was in a mega state worrying about not feeling good and ending up worse if I went. I was getting worse by the second and decided fk it!

 

I'm going to take another 4mg as I  couldn't breathe, the shaking was terrible just everything blew up and I'm not great 24/7 usually anyway, and I didn't expect it to do anything to be honest, and was thinking why did I bother? Its bloody futile! I up-dosed by 6mg to where I am now months ago and I'm still not stable?? Too my utter surprise and disbelief it worked! ALL my symptoms were gone within an hour, ones I had for year's ALL went I was normal, except a few hours later I began to feel ropey as there was a LOT of arguing going on there the music was 160 decibels, and I felt very fatigued, suddenly ill and desperate to get home  coz of all the crap kicking off all that noise so off I went . 

 

No I do NOT plan to do it again it was a ONE off, but it proved that my CNS is STILL very unstable, and regardless of how long I've been holding or the fact I still feel like hell most of the time I need to hold longer.  And even if I stayed at 14mg there is still the possibility that I could end up waiting months down the line to stabilise properly anyway, and end up setting myself even further back to wait, so I'm sticking at 10mg and taking the kicking 

 

 

So its all a matter of waiting and holding on until my brain can catch up,  also I've just switched my dosing schedule around less than 24 hours ago so that's another change my brains got to deal with, and that's enough for now. I also had a 40% window for a few hours recently too so its one thing at a time, no more little ' self experiments'' or ''changes'' until I see where this dose change  I did last night is going and the fact that if a one off up-dose took ALL my symptoms away, even severe ones I had for year's  for a few hours. Then my brain needs more time to catch up with the dose I'm holding at for a while longer. 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

In a similar place. Still very dominated by sxs. Appreciate your sharing the whole story and how you feel. I have been more isolated than ever, I don't want to deal with over stimulation.

 

I quit taking a 3ed (evening dose) months ago. I upped my other 2 doses so the drop would not be severe in terms of total dosage. I started by taking 1/3 of the usual dose, then after a week or 2, dropped it. I experimented much later with a pm dose, and found it did nothing to help me sleep. (A few times, not out of freaking out, but as a test)

 

I'm wanting to start tapering again soon from the current long hold. I am also tapering seroquel, so I gave this change in how I take my total dosage, as well as seroquel tapering some time.

 

Would like to learn what you discovered about longer sleep making things difficult. I was sleeping 1.5-2 hours and waking up, often staying awake along time, then another 1,5-2 hours, and sometimes a 1 hour sleep when I took my first  benzo dose in the morning. Last week, I started sleeping longer, something I thought would never happen. I still wake up, but am going about 3 hours now before waking up.

 

We all have to find our own way. Every time I make a change, it's different. For my next reduction, I plan to start micro cutting. Haven't done it before, going to give it a try.

Hi BD Someone asked on a a post ages ago does sleeping longer than you usually are able make you feel worse? What we were looking at is say  usually only sleeping a couple of hours  of very broken sleep then suddenly getting 5 or more hours, and less restless than usual. And there were a LOT of us that said yes, its worse when we get what would be considered a ''good mights sleep'' as opposed to barely any at all , where as  people keep banging on about  a good nights sleep set them up for a good day.

 

It has a paradoxical effect on quite a few of us and we feel bloody worse !!  Anyway I can't remember which hormone it was but I do remember it began with the letter A, and is one of the master hormones that builds up the longer you sleep making a 'soup'' with other stress hormones, they all work in symbiosis creating hell waiting when you wake up if you sleep for what would be longer than you sleep pattern BEFORE  prescription drugs.

 

BUT....not in everyone, I only needed 4 hours night before all this crap and was even good to go on 2 hours a night if I had too and I'm wondering if that why its problematic when I actually get more hours ''decent sleep''? I don't recall anyone on that thread mentioning what their normal sleep pattern was before Benzos. And I was like it from a baby my mother ( Whose passed back into pure energy state quite some year's ago) told me while she was here I was very forward, and was a happy baby but only slept 2 hours a night and spent the rest calling her by her Christian name and all hyper jumping up and down in the  in the cot.

 

And she was exhausted by me and nearly lost it, held it together and took me to the Doctors as she thought there was something up with me as I wasn't like any other baby I slept very little and developed intellectually rapidly.  The Doctor told her I was remarkably well but she wasn't good at all, well she wasn't getting any proper rest was she? Other people have told me I was a scary kid at the age of two it was like having a conversation with an ancient wise old women of 100 or more year's old.

 

And another thing before all this is I was having fun I could go 3 weeks or longer with NO sleep at will and be absolutely fine to the point people who didn't know me thought I had to be taking something but I was clean living and I was just high on life, I LOVED IT!!    I'd go to work  no problem but on VERY RARE occasions I'd sleep for 24-48 hours solid sleep.

 

Otherwise if I slept for more than 4 hours I'd feel bloody terrible as if I'd been drugged with some bad drug like I do now, except I HAVE really been drugged with some freaking bad drugs this time, my Uncle is the same more than 4 hours sleep he felt he's been drugged or poisoned. Believe me I am grateful to get to sleep but the end product is always the same, I feel as if I need a LOT more sleep all day, but if I get more than a certain amount of sleep I feel worse again, but that hormone I'm on about actually has that effect and builds up higher when your sleeping.

 

The longer you sleep the more it your body produces. If I can find the information on my PC I'll let you know what it is, I've got a zillion files, book marks, research, links and references on here   And I'm not in the right frame of mind to go trying to track it all down now, but it was a big 'Ah ah! moment when I found it after months of reading and cross referencing then human biology as its not as simple as just reading you have to dissect the brain, anatomy, and endocrine system to get to the conclusion and find the answers

 

 

  Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

 

 

 

[[no...]]

PS Yesterday I forgot to take my afternoon dose so ended up taking bloody 6mg PM instead of 2MG, Once again it messed my sleep up at a higher dose, I feel like crap today but a little better now its late afternoon, and also I noticed last night  although I have  severe tenacious tinnitus the higher does last night made it a LOT worse very quickly  As I said the higher dose as the last dose seems to be having a paradoxical effect I shall see over the next couple of weeks

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[ba...]]

Thank you sweet Nova.

Could it be adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH)

 

A techy paper on sleep that explains it, but doesn't really help, however some good info:

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181635/