The Long Hold Support Group

[[Su...]]

MIYU, SS, GLAD TO SEE YOU BOTH HERE,

 

I too am sorry that you are still having very little relief MiYu. I’m glad you are still hanging in  and being such  an inspiration to so many others who are having a tough time. When I think of buddies who are really strong, it is Freeme, Nova and You MiYu, that come to mind. I pray you all get relief soon.

SS glad you are here too. When I look at your signature I see you are tapering off of Xanax. That must be much harder than Valium?  Imtapering off of Vlium but I’m am told that it is easier ( ha ha...easier? ) than tapering of Xanax. My sister has been on Xanax for about 6 years now. She says it works fine for her. But I wish she would get off of it.

I hope you are having a good day today.

 

I have had a bad cold since last Tuesday. It has gotten progressively worse, so I am beginning to think it is the full blown flu! I have every symptom except fever...so I don’t know. But awful does not quite express how horrible I feel?

Guess I just have to ride it out.

 

Ok so I just want to wish you and all the buddies here a good day today, although you who across the ocean are probably getting ready for bed by now.

So. Good day, or good night. :smitten:   HEATHCLIFF

Hi Heath!

I'll let you know whether Valium is easier (or harder than Xanax when I start tapering that)  I've got the 4mg on board to help me with this taper.  All I know is Xanax is no cakewalk, and it seems that there is some correlation to how long we've been on this stuff.....  Hope your sister can taper off sooner rather than later  (Wish I had... but there's not run-in back that clock is there  )

 

Hope you cron't have the flu, or if you do it's short lasting....

 

:smitten:

SS

[[Va...]]

Well here we are.... who are we? Who knowswho we really are? I don’t really know who any of you are. It’s like it’s all imaginary....but not really.

Sure, I dont know your real name or where you live or anything about you other than what you share on this forum.

But that is exactly why this forum works as well as it does. Here is a place we can let it all out, say what we want to say, cry our hearts out, share our fears, and ask our most embarrassing questions without fear of being ridiculed.....because no one really knows who we are!

 

I’d like very much to reach out to Cant and say where are you? How are you? What’s going on? Are you ok? But I and no one else can do that. All we can do is hope and pray he is ok.

 

I have noticed that some of the buddies that I met initially when I found this wonderful group have been slowly posting less and less. And to tell you the truth, it scares me! I have come to depend on so many of you. Your advice has saved my life. Your experiences make you such a valuable resource for newbies. And as newbies become more experienced , I for one, feel better about turning around and giving some advice, although limited, to others.

 

I may be one of the buddies who might be guilty of not posting as much as I should. If everyone slide their posting, well, this is what happens. Our wonderful forum may fall by the wayside.

 

But sometimes when we are feeling so awful and just cannot post, I see that it is still our responsibility to post and not just think about and wonder whereour missing buddies are, but to POST TO THE FORUM and ask...WHERE ARE YOU .....  AND LET THAT BUDDY KNOW THEY ARE MISSED.

 

I HATE TO THINK THAT SOMEONE MAY FEEL THAT THEY ARE NOT IMPORTANT TO THIS GROUP.

We are all important and we all need to be here for everyone.

 

With that said... I hope Freeme and MiYu and ATU, Nova, NJ, green cup,  gardener, WW, and SS are doing ok or atleast on their way to better days.  Begood and  Valley, I hope your tapers are going well. I’m sure I forgot many names because I am always doing that, but please know this post is for everyone.

Begood, I imagine you are in the middle of a hold?  The last you posted. You were doing well. Valley 8 hope your daughter is doing well after her surgery on her arm and that you family life is smoothing out. And of course that your taper is still going well. You said you were very busy with work. That could be a blessing of distraction, but I hope you are not overwhelmed.

 

Well I don’t know what else to say except like Nova said in her post. Lots of times, these feelings are indeed just a benzo gift. Making you feel full of anxiety, feeling like no one cares. But it’s only a benzo gift!

In truth, we are all here for all of you. I for one care about all of you, anfpd I am sure that others feel this way too.

 

Let’s kerp this group going folks! It doesn’t get any better than this group!  I CARE, A LOT!

 

Heath :smitten: :smitten:

Hi Heath. I’m sure the thread will keep going as it seems to have taken on a life of its own lol. The originator of the thread isn’t even here anymore. It is a place where all topics are discussed and I can’t recall hardly any negativity here as there are wonderful caring buddies who post on the thread.

 

MiYu, sorry that you are still struggling. I know how unpleasant it can be. I certainly came from a very bad place and have been able to taper steadily ever since so never give up hope. Things will get better.

 

BG, you are a big reason this group is a success. Don’t sell your self short my friend.

 

I certainly want to be involved more than I have been.  Home life is mellowing out now and that was my biggest stressor.  My taper is going very well. I do have “blips” of sxs occasionally such as yesterday after work I just got dizzy out of the blue and really thought I was going to pass out. It lasted for a couple of hours. I also get tremors and shivers at odd times throughout the day but they only last for maybe 5 to 10 minutes. Sleep is good and mental is pretty good. Work is such a long day I’m exhausted when I finish and it’s hard to post in that state of mind.

 

I’m thankful for everyone here. I would try to list everyone but I would surely leave someone out lol.

 

Hope you all have a wonderful evening or morning depending on where you are! —V

[[To...]]

Hi dear buddies ( you too Begood and nova  :smitten: )

 

I want you to know I'm still around, and still appreciate this group so much . It was the turning point in my way of looking at a taper. Things aren't great for me still , so I don't post much , but I'm so praying you'll all still be around, at least sometimes and enough to keep the best group on BB going as I go through my journey. I am trying not to dwell in the "what if"benzo lies , ( thanks for posting those Nova), as if I were to compare my taper to others I'd get really upset and depressed. I've got lots of good reasons to doubt !

 

It's a long haul , but I a.ways feel more hopeful when I read this thread .

 

So , even though I'm not posting much , I can't say enough how much I appreciate ALL of you , and don't you dare dissapear .

Hi Heath and valley my old friends 

 

I can't mention all of you, but I think of you and value you all SO much .

Those I can think of here are SS, NJ , greencup, ATU, Free, TMB ( way to go!  ) ,

Wwoman, and I'm sure I've missed someone , but you too...

 

Love, MiYu  :smitten: :smitten:

 

Ps , really sorry some of you have the flu and other health stuff going on . Hope it clears up soon

MiYu, I hope that you feel better soon. I agree with you and also think that this is a great and supportive group!

[[To...]]

MIYU, SS, GLAD TO SEE YOU BOTH HERE,

 

I too am sorry that you are still having very little relief MiYu. I’m glad you are still hanging in  and being such  an inspiration to so many others who are having a tough time. When I think of buddies who are really strong, it is Freeme, Nova and You MiYu, that come to mind. I pray you all get relief soon.

SS glad you are here too. When I look at your signature I see you are tapering off of Xanax. That must be much harder than Valium?  Imtapering off of Vlium but I’m am told that it is easier ( ha ha...easier? ) than tapering of Xanax. My sister has been on Xanax for about 6 years now. She says it works fine for her. But I wish she would get off of it.

I hope you are having a good day today.

 

I have had a bad cold since last Tuesday. It has gotten progressively worse, so I am beginning to think it is the full blown flu! I have every symptom except fever...so I don’t know. But awful does not quite express how horrible I feel?

Guess I just have to ride it out.

 

Ok so I just want to wish you and all the buddies here a good day today, although you who across the ocean are probably getting ready for bed by now.

So. Good day, or good night. :smitten:   HEATHCLIFF

Heath, take care of yourself with that flu (or whatever it is). This season has been characterized in some news articles as the worst in 13 years. Plus the vaccines have proven to be much less preventative (maybe only 10% effective) for this season and that is resulting in many more sick people to spread more illness.

[[To...]]

 

...

 

I certainly want to be involved more than I have been.  Home life is mellowing out now and that was my biggest stressor.  My taper is going very well. I do have “blips” of sxs occasionally such as yesterday after work I just got dizzy out of the blue and really thought I was going to pass out. It lasted for a couple of hours. I also get tremors and shivers at odd times throughout the day but they only last for maybe 5 to 10 minutes. Sleep is good and mental is pretty good. Work is such a long day I’m exhausted when I finish and it’s hard to post in that state of mind.

 

...

 

Valley, sounds like things are going well for you. That is awesome. Keep it up.

[[fr...]]

  Sorry I haven't posted in a while.  I am very sick, I never stabilize and am just miserable.  On top of it all I caught the flu from my husband.  I just can't post too much but I read and keep up with you all.  I hope one day to contribute more than I do but right now just not up to it. Love to all the buddies here who have helped me and are so kind.

[[Va...]]

  Sorry I haven't posted in a while.  I am very sick, I never stabilize and am just miserable.  On top of it all I caught the flu from my husband.  I just can't post too much but I read and keep up with you all.  I hope one day to contribute more than I do but right now just not up to it. Love to all the buddies here who have helped me and are so kind.

Hi free. Sorry about the flu.  I know it makes withdrawal feel more intense. I know you will come out of this journey much stronger. —V

[[Be...]]

Been holding for 5 months,the last 2 have been great but the last week have been horrendous.  Every symptom has come back but worse. Has this happened to anyone else.

[[Gr...]]

TMB AND GREEN CUP,

Thanks for your replies. Both of your theories make sense. i guess I’ll just keep eating chicken soup and hope for the best.

 

Heathcliff 

Take care Heath. I sure miss all of our buddies. 🕊 Peace.

How are you doing BG?  —v

Feeling. sort of sad. been sick with virus but better. Just do not feel part of this group anymore.

 

I saw this Begood and I just want to give you some big hugs.  :hug:

[[NJ...]]

Hey... where are you New Jersey  ? And Gardner? And ATU. And Freeme? Hope you are all well! Missing you here!

 

Heathcliff

 

Thanks for the shout out! I read most days don't have much to say. I cut to .39 K last night, have not been sleeping well last few days even before the cut. Still have on and off nausea. Have two job interviews this week again and waiting on a potential offer. Still not sure if I just stay where I am where I have a lot of flexibility and time off but a crappy work environment or leap into something unknown where the demands will definitely be higher.

 

Wishing everyone much luck and healing!

[[Va...]]

Been holding for 5 months,the last 2 have been great but the last week have been horrendous.  Every symptom has come back but worse. Has this happened to anyone else.

Hi Beano. Yes, I had this happen as I did a 6 month hold.  It’s crazy how this whole thing works.  There is no rhyme or reason to it.  —V

[[To...]]

Today is jump day. I did not think it possible a year ago, but last dose was taken last night.

 

I hope to see all long hold support group buddies heal up in 2018.

 

Thanks for your support along the way!

[[Al...]]

Hey... where are you New Jersey  ? And Gardner? And ATU. And Freeme? Hope you are all well! Missing you here!

 

Heathcliff

 

Heath,

 

Hello, I am here just not very active as a I am fighting this cold from hell. Going into week two with it as is my wife. I mention that only because if I only had it I would probably attribute it to Withdrawal but she has it so it is a genuine cold. Worst I have had in many years I must say. I hope it abates this week.

 

Hope everyone is well and happy!

 

ATU 🙏😷

[[Su...]]

Today is jump day. I did not think it possible a year ago, but last dose was taken last night.

 

I hope to see all long hold support group buddies heal up in 2018.

 

Thanks for your support along the way!

 

Way to go!  :thumbsup:Way to inspire!  I hope that your jump walk off goes really well!

:smitten:

SS

[[Gr...]]

Good Luck TooManyBennies!!! 

[[To...]]

Way to go!  :thumbsup:Way to inspire!  I hope that your jump walk off goes really well!

:smitten:

SS

Good Luck TooManyBennies!!! 

Thanks SS and GC!

[[Va...]]

Today is jump day. I did not think it possible a year ago, but last dose was taken last night.

 

I hope to see all long hold support group buddies heal up in 2018.

 

Thanks for your support along the way!

 

Way to go TMB! 

[[no...]]

Hi dear buddies ( you too Begood and nova  :smitten: )

 

I want you to know I'm still around, and still appreciate this group so much . It was the turning point in my way of looking at a taper. Things aren't great for me still , so I don't post much , but I'm so praying you'll all still be around, at least sometimes and enough to keep the best group on BB going as I go through my journey. I am trying not to dwell in the "what if"benzo lies , ( thanks for posting those Nova), as if I were to compare my taper to others I'd get really upset and depressed. I've got lots of good reasons to doubt !

 

It's a long haul , but I a.ways feel more hopeful when I read this thread .

 

So , even though I'm not posting much , I can't say enough how much I appreciate ALL of you , and don't you dare dissapear .

Hi Heath and valley my old friends 

 

I can't mention all of you, but I think of you and value you all SO much .

Those I can think of here are SS, NJ , greencup, ATU, Free, TMB ( way to go!  ) ,

Wwoman, and I'm sure I've missed someone , but you too...

 

Love, MiYu  :smitten: :smitten:

 

Ps , really sorry some of you have the flu and other health stuff going on . Hope it clears up soon

Hope you get some relief soon M

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[no...]]

Been holding for 5 months,the last 2 have been great but the last week have been horrendous.  Every symptom has come back but worse. Has this happened to anyone else.

Yep!! Hi Beano    I'm where you are now after having to updose so I could move I wasn't  completely stable but I got to a place where I could get up off the floor and enabled me to move homes as I had an upstairs neighbour from hell moved in 2 year's ago and I had lived there a long time. Anyway  after a while I was able to do some things I haven't been able to do for year's and thought I was hitting stability any time soon as I was getting better and better wrong!!

 

I got kicked up the arse big time and lots of symptoms got worse over the last 2 or 3 months plus they bought a Gang of new friends I'd never had before just to make matters worse. So I've been super shit for a while now and am now coming into 6 moths holding at this dose on Friday. I was thinking about cutting at the end of the month but remembered this is the point I cut at last time as this is the same pattern I went through at a lower dose before I up-dosed to move, I had a few months where I felt I was improving then BANG!!!!   

 

 

I thought I was never going to recover as I got a LOT worse, the last few days got even WORSE again and by yesterday I was convinced that cutting was the right thing to do next, then out of the blue I had a few hours window!! Not completely no symptoms but I would say 40% improvement for those few hours and I got Mega loads of stuff done in a very short time, I was shocked to say the least as just a few hours before that it got REALLY severe, my mornings are always bad no matter what but yesterday morning just got worse and worse then a miraculous  40% window???

 

 

By 7pm it was back to shit city again and today ain't great so far either, so as you can see its par for the course as they say and typical of Benzos as Valley said 'no Rhyme or reason''  So there you go, I hope this answers your question and gives you some reassurance. My hold now continues as well after yesterdays window, and also Lynn one of our long hold buddies off this thread was also having hellacious symptoms for the first 6 months into her 8 month  hold, but after that she improved little by little and walked off no problems a few months ago and apart form some little symptoms she had for a while is having a  great life no acute after jumping or nothing The quote below is from someone else who went through it too while doing a long hold

 

 

 

Thank you for verifying what I kind of suspected. There has been, and continues to be that window/wave pattern to this hold. I actually wasn't sure if this was something unique to me, but even then, I figured I just had to continue holding whether it is unique or not.

 

And now that the 6 month time has past, I'm going through another wave. So I'll definitely be continuing the hold. I didn't realize that this was typical of benzos at all, but its more knowledge that not only helps me "cope," but it's knowledge I think I need to be able to relay to others if the need arises. It almost feels like "Part 2" is happening now with this continuation as sx are changing, and yet they still are definitely sx of an unstable CNS.

 

I have to admit that the hold itself with these windows and waves is a stressor all by itself. When the windows occur, I'm consistently myself all day and evening, and this lasts for about a month to 6 weeks, but with that last two weeks I start slipping into a wave kind of gradually, and I don't always see it coming. And then, I'm fully in that wave, and I'm not me consistently throughout the day, and it's even hard to fully remember how good I felt during the window. And it feels kind of awful with some emotional, physical and cognitive sx.

 

I'm glad I'm here too! Thank you for saying that. I've learned a lot the hard way about benzos, and I'm glad to share what I do know.

 

 

]

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[To...]]

Today is jump day. I did not think it possible a year ago, but last dose was taken last night.

 

I hope to see all long hold support group buddies heal up in 2018.

 

Thanks for your support along the way!

 

Way to go TMB! 

Thanks Valley! So far, so good. I have to travel for the last half of the week. Should be good for distraction, but also some new stressors - it'll be a good "test", but I expect that things will be OK.

 

[[He...]]

Hey... where are you New Jersey  ? And Gardner? And ATU. And Freeme? Hope you are all well! Missing you here!

 

Heathcliff

 

Thanks for the shout out! I read most days don't have much to say. I cut to .39 K last night, have not been sleeping well last few days even before the cut. Still have on and off nausea. Have two job interviews this week again and waiting on a potential offer. Still not sure if I just stay where I am where I have a lot of flexibility and time off but a crappy work environment or leap into something unknown where the demands will definitely be higher.

 

Wishing everyone much luck and healing!

 

 

Well hi again!

I like to motto, “ if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” unless your job is unbearable, if I were you I’d stay put. What if you move and are unhappy..and that while going through benzo withdrawal?

But I don’t know how you are doing at you present job. Is it really an environment that is so bad? Well then maybe you should search for a new place to work.

And if you do have an offer that you really think won’t make workload too heavy, well then go for it.

 

Looks like you can argue both sides of the fence, huh!

Well it looks like you are right ON the fence!

But you have more offers to consider...so take it slow and weigh each offer carefully....and I’m sure you will make the right decision.

 

Hope your nausea goes away very soon and that you have better days.

 

HEATHCLIFF

[[He...]]

TMB AND GREEN CUP,

Thanks for your replies. Both of your theories make sense. i guess I’ll just keep eating chicken soup and hope for the best.

 

Heathcliff 

Take care Heath. I sure miss all of our buddies. 🕊 Peace.

How are you doing BG?  —v

Feeling. sort of sad. been sick with virus but better. Just do not feel part of this group anymore.

 

I saw this Begood and I just want to give you some big hugs.  :hug:

 

BEGOOD, I SURE KNOW HOW A VIRUS CAN AFFECT A PERSON. SORRY YOU ARE FEELING SO BADLY.

I TOO AM GETTING OVER A REALLY BAD VIRUS..HEAD AND CHEST CONGESTION, NEVERENDING NOSE FAUCET AND RELENTLESS COUGH.... BUT IT IS FINALLY ON ITS WAY OUT.

 

Oops sorry for the caps. Not meaning to yell

 

I hope your virus is on its way out BEGOOD. And that you are your old self again reL soon :smitten:  

Heathcliff

[[He...]]

Today is jump day. I did not think it possible a year ago, but last dose was taken last night.

 

I hope to see all long hold support group buddies heal up in 2018.

 

Thanks for your support along the way!

 

 

 

TOO MANY BENNIES....

Good LUCK AND CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR JUMP, TOO MANY BENNIES! . HEATHCLIFF :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :yippee:

[[He...]]

Please set me straight here.

Is the 5% of your last dose rule for reducing monthly for cut and hold tapers only?  or is it for DLMT tapering too?

I seem to remember once hearing that it was only for people who cut and hold, but not for DLMT.

I thought for DLMT you just keep going down, and then hold for a while only if you get wdsx, and then start going again.

But some peoplethink the 5% rule is for DLMT TOO.  Or is this something of personal choice according to what you think you can handle?

 

Yes I’ve asked this before. But for some reason I can’t get it through my head,

Someone please set me straight....again.  It’s because I see many people going so much faster than 5% a month, not only in this group but in different support groups too.

 

Thanks, Heathcliff ??? ???

[[Be...]]

Hi, i ask a question yesterday and cant find it on here to see if anyone has replied. Could someone messge me please to tell me how to find out.x