The Long Hold Support Group

[[Wo...]]

 

Thank you for starting this Post.  After reading this I truly know I Cut Way Too Fast!  I don't know what to do now as the Anxiety is so Bad, and I have bad case of Vertigo and trying to reverse this with exercises.  The crystals in my inner ears are misaligned.

 

Should I up dose back to .20 - or .25.  I felt a little better there, and then I can HOLD with all of you for a year and SLOWLY cut back.  I really can't imagine drifting thru life for a year like this.  Can't do it and seriously considered going to hospital this morning.  Sleep deprivation is scary.... :'(

 

Ty

[[He...]]

Hi there,

I am no scientist and what you are going to read is only what sense I can make out of taking a gaba supplement.

It seems to me that taking any type of gaba would be counter productive when trying to withdraw from a benzo.

When taking a benzo, from what I understand, the benzo is somehow causing your brain to produce less gaba. This is because the drug is doing for the brain what the brain was doing before the drug was introduced (producing the gaba). So the brain gets kind of lazy, and doesn’t need to produce the gaba that it used to because the drug is taking its place.

When we withdraw from the drug, the thing that causes so much withdrawal side effects is the brain having to wake up, and adjust and start producing the gaba again.( the faster you withdraw,, the worse the wdsx because the brain can’t adjust so fast. That’s why going slow is better)

 

By taking gaba, maybe you will get less side effects because you are replacing the gaba that your brain is having so much trouble replacing when you take away your benzo.....but.... this is certainly getting in the way of your brain starting to produce its own gaba (your primary goal) and it is therefore NOT helping you to get off your benzo! It’s just prolonging it because, you are still giving your brain extra gaba, just as the benzo did! In order to get off your benzo, you need to give your brain less and less gaba so it will start to make its own!,( that’s what withdrawal is)

The idea is to go slow with your taper so your brain can adjust and start producing its own gaba with as little wdsx as possible. 

Giving your brain gaba in a different way, other than your benzo, might ? make your wdsx less, and you might? Feel better  but it’s NOT  helping your brain to heal! Nor is it helping you to get off your benzo! It’s counter productive!

 

I am explaining this the way I see it and I may not be making sense. But this is how I see it. So you can whirl it around in your head and see if it makes sense to you.

 

I can not quote anyone because I read a lot about benzos and supplements, and I don’t remember where I read it, but I am sure that I read some place that gaba is not recommended during withdrawal. Also I have read that supplements are not the way to go. They just add to the mix of more drugs in your body that mess you up. Unless there is a true medical need, stay away from drugs and supplements. Especially over the counter supplements because they are not regulated and you really don’t know what is in that bottle!

 

Just me, putting in my two cents, IMO, 

Just saying!  But of course, listen to your doctor. I’m no doctor, just a buddy trying my best to get off this stuff the best way and the safest way possible.

Hope this might help someone, or at least open someone’s eyes so they ask a lot of questions and do lots of research before they put yet another drug into their body!

Heathcliff 

 

 

[[Va...]]

8 days until jump, currently liquid tapering with .08mg left to go. Of course, a wave has hit me (sleep disruptions and all day anxiety feeling like I want to jump out of my skin).

 

I've thought about holding, but I think I am at such a low dose that it is just better to ride it out. I think what I am seeing is that this is the "real" me, reminiscent of the state I was in when I was originally prescribed this sh*t 21 years ago. I have to figure out how to live with those issues vs. suppressing them with meds. My therapist has helped with that, but I see a long road ahead.

 

Sooner or later I was going to get hit with a string of bad days. I also just started back on 5mg crestor 4 days ago after bad cholesterol numbers (my genetics are working against me there in terms of high chol).

Awesome job TMB!    Hope all goes well when you jump! —V

[[Va...]]

 

Thank you for starting this Post.  After reading this I truly know I Cut Way Too Fast!  I don't know what to do now as the Anxiety is so Bad, and I have bad case of Vertigo and trying to reverse this with exercises.  The crystals in my inner ears are misaligned.

 

Should I up dose back to .20 - or .25.  I felt a little better there, and then I can HOLD with all of you for a year and SLOWLY cut back.  I really can't imagine drifting thru life for a year like this.  Can't do it and seriously considered going to hospital this morning.  Sleep deprivation is scary.... :'(

 

Ty

Trying to remain as stable and functional as possible is the trick to the tapering process IMO.  If you have been hit with intolerable symptoms, the thing to do is try to stabilize as quickly as possible.  Usually these symptoms are caused by removing the drug to quickly so an updose or “dose correction” is sometimes in order and then hold for stability. 

 

I had to hold for 6 months at the beginning of my taper because I cut too rapidly.  I was very symptomatic almost the entire time but finally reached a point where I was much more functional and able to taper again.  I have been at this for over 2 years now but have been able to live my life as well as work with some minimal symptoms but they have been tolerable. 

 

We’re glad you’re here and hope you get the support you need! —V

[[Va...]]

Hi everyone!  It’s been another incredibly busy week for me.  My daughter had surgery on Tuesday and had to have some metal plates screwed in to keep the bones in place. She is doing well now and will most likely make a full recovery.

 

I had additional contract hours added to one of my jobs so I have been extra busy trying to keep up with the workload as they are a large district and I have several other smaller charter schools that I contract with as well.  I would never have dreamed I would be able to work this much a year ago.  I am also going off of disability (yay!).

 

For all those struggling, I can truly empathize with each of you.  I have felt the horrible withdrawals related to the process of benzo tapering.  I understand both the mental and physical aspects of it and know how hard it is to deal with.  My only advice is to hang in there and do what is necessary to ease the symptoms and take care of yourself while having difficult withdrawals.  I also advise to distract as much as possible.  I found for myself that I could do a lot more than my mind told me I could.  When I have been engaged in activities which require mental focus, I have been able to forget about withdrawal as it is just in the background and not prevalent on my mind.  I promise you all that I’m very confident that we will all get through this painful journey and come out on the other side as better people.  —V

[[bl...]]

Thanks! I've heard of that. Is that similar to Trazadone? I tried that but it REALLY dried me out. But I think I need something. I cannot function on no sleep. Even if I only take 2/3 times a week. I will ask my dr about it. I appreciate advice. Hope you are having a good day.

[[Su...]]

Thanks suffering. I was talking about r/x stuff. Some people have had success, yes? My dr suggested it for some pain and insomnia???

 

Lots of people have had some success with it.  I've not used it.

  For me Remeron was the key for insomnia.  I still take a low dose daily and I sleep!  Oh sleep which has been elusive for years..

Hoping you find some relief soon.

SS

[[Su...]]

8 days until jump, currently liquid tapering with .08mg left to go. Of course, a wave has hit me (sleep disruptions and all day anxiety feeling like I want to jump out of my skin).

 

I've thought about holding, but I think I am at such a low dose that it is just better to ride it out. I think what I am seeing is that this is the "real" me, reminiscent of the state I was in when I was originally prescribed this sh*t 21 years ago. I have to figure out how to live with those issues vs. suppressing them with meds. My therapist has helped with that, but I see a long road ahead.

 

Sooner or later I was going to get hit with a string of bad days. I also just started back on 5mg crestor 4 days ago after bad cholesterol numbers (my genetics are working against me there in terms of high chol).

 

8 days!! way to go TMBs.  After 21 years.... what a journey what an accomplishment.  I know you're not there yet but I'm cheering you on to the finish line and beyond 

SS

[[Su...]]

Thanks! I've heard of that. Is that similar to Trazadone? I tried that but it REALLY dried me out. But I think I need something. I cannot function on no sleep. Even if I only take 2/3 times a week. I will ask my dr about it. I appreciate advice. Hope you are having a good day.

Hi Bluepill,

I think your answering Miyu but thought I'd chime in.....

Remeron is a different class of antidepressant than trazodone.  Remeron is an MOA an older type of medication.  At low doses it is sedating, at higher doses the antidepressant qualities kick in.  I could get by with 3.25- 5 mg when I first started it.  My doc had prescribed 30mg.

Trazadone is an SARI.  Often docs will prescribe these meds at too high a dosage to start in my experience.  (I was originally prescribed 100-150 mg of trazodone when I took it -- found I could get by with 25mg.... 150 mg pinned me to the bed for an entire day)

 

Hope you get some relief soon.

SS

[[be...]]

Hi everyone!  It’s been another incredibly busy week for me.  My daughter had surgery on Tuesday and had to have some metal plates screwed in to keep the bones in place. She is doing well now and will most likely make a full recovery.

 

I had additional contract hours added to one of my jobs so I have been extra busy trying to keep up with the workload as they are a large district and I have several other smaller charter schools that I contract with as well.  I would never have dreamed I would be able to work this much a year ago.  I am also going off of disability (yay!).

 

For all those struggling, I can truly empathize with each of you.  I have felt the horrible withdrawals related to the process of benzo tapering.  I understand both the mental and physical aspects of it and know how hard it is to deal with.  My only advice is to hang in there and do what is necessary to ease the symptoms and take care of yourself while having difficult withdrawals.  I also advise to distract as much as possible.  I found for myself that I could do a lot more than my mind told me I could.  When I have been engaged in activities which require mental focus, I have been able to forget about withdrawal as it is just in the background and not prevalent on my mind.  I promise you all that I’m very confident that we will all get through this painful journey and come out on the other side as better people.  —V

Hi Valley, so glad your daughter is doing well. And nice to hear that you will be off of disability soon, loved your message to those struggling. I believe also that distraction is key, and working is that for sure. Looking forward to 2018 with you and this great group of buddies. It is going to be a better year I promise. 🕊 Peace.

[[...]]

Valley , glad all is well , and thank you so much for the encouraging post . You must be feeling acoumplished getting so close now!

Hope you will stop in to cheer us other turtles on when you're all done 🐢🐢🐢

 

Love ,MiYu

[[bl...]]

Suffering: Thanks for explanation! One question--a bit vain---did Remeron cause weight gain? I have heard it's sort of dramatic but?? That said, at this point I'll take pounds over sleeplessness...

[[Wo...]]

 

Valley Um -

 

Thank you for your kind response.  I did up dose, and will keep you posted once I hit stability.  I'm thinking so positive that I will stabilize, I will for sure. 

 

Ty

[[To...]]

8 days until jump, currently liquid tapering with .08mg left to go. Of course, a wave has hit me (sleep disruptions and all day anxiety feeling like I want to jump out of my skin).

 

I've thought about holding, but I think I am at such a low dose that it is just better to ride it out. I think what I am seeing is that this is the "real" me, reminiscent of the state I was in when I was originally prescribed this sh*t 21 years ago. I have to figure out how to live with those issues vs. suppressing them with meds. My therapist has helped with that, but I see a long road ahead.

 

Sooner or later I was going to get hit with a string of bad days. I also just started back on 5mg crestor 4 days ago after bad cholesterol numbers (my genetics are working against me there in terms of high chol).

Awesome job TMB!    Hope all goes well when you jump! —V

Thanks Valley! Powering through, looking better this morning. I'll get there...

[[To...]]

8 days until jump, currently liquid tapering with .08mg left to go. Of course, a wave has hit me (sleep disruptions and all day anxiety feeling like I want to jump out of my skin).

 

I've thought about holding, but I think I am at such a low dose that it is just better to ride it out. I think what I am seeing is that this is the "real" me, reminiscent of the state I was in when I was originally prescribed this sh*t 21 years ago. I have to figure out how to live with those issues vs. suppressing them with meds. My therapist has helped with that, but I see a long road ahead.

 

Sooner or later I was going to get hit with a string of bad days. I also just started back on 5mg crestor 4 days ago after bad cholesterol numbers (my genetics are working against me there in terms of high chol).

 

8 days!! way to go TMBs.  After 21 years.... what a journey what an accomplishment.  I know you're not there yet but I'm cheering you on to the finish line and beyond 

SS

Thank you, SS. A long, slow, methodical march - and, finally, the finish line, now 7 days away. Like yourself, many buddies have been so supportive and an invaluable resource!

[[NJ...]]

Thanks! I've heard of that. Is that similar to Trazadone? I tried that but it REALLY dried me out. But I think I need something. I cannot function on no sleep. Even if I only take 2/3 times a week. I will ask my dr about it. I appreciate advice. Hope you are having a good day.

Hi Bluepill,

I think your answering Miyu but thought I'd chime in.....

Remeron is a different class of antidepressant than trazodone.  Remeron is an MOA an older type of medication.  At low doses it is sedating, at higher doses the antidepressant qualities kick in.  I could get by with 3.25- 5 mg when I first started it.  My doc had prescribed 30mg.

Trazadone is an SARI.  Often docs will prescribe these meds at too high a dosage to start in my experience.  (I was originally prescribed 100-150 mg of trazodone when I took it -- found I could get by with 25mg.... 150 mg pinned me to the bed for an entire day)

 

Hope you get some relief soon.

SS

 

Bluepill:

 

I also take remeron. Doctor wanted me at 30 mg. I started at 3.75 and have worked my way up to 15 mg for the past year plus. Works well for insomnia. Definitely has a reputation as a weight-gain drug. I have not gained weight; did gain weight with lexapro and klonopin (60 pounds; I am disgusted with myself but I am doing the best I can). I sleep well about 80 percent of the time with the remeron. I was also vomiting all the time before starting it. The remeron has helped with that as well. While I would like to taper it down somewhat when I am done with my K taper, I have no issues if I take this until I am dead! I did have very severe fatigue when starting it for about three months, but that has faded.

[[To...]]

Hi everyone!  It’s been another incredibly busy week for me.  My daughter had surgery on Tuesday and had to have some metal plates screwed in to keep the bones in place. She is doing well now and will most likely make a full recovery.

 

I had additional contract hours added to one of my jobs so I have been extra busy trying to keep up with the workload as they are a large district and I have several other smaller charter schools that I contract with as well.  I would never have dreamed I would be able to work this much a year ago.  I am also going off of disability (yay!).

 

For all those struggling, I can truly empathize with each of you.  I have felt the horrible withdrawals related to the process of benzo tapering.  I understand both the mental and physical aspects of it and know how hard it is to deal with.  My only advice is to hang in there and do what is necessary to ease the symptoms and take care of yourself while having difficult withdrawals.  I also advise to distract as much as possible.  I found for myself that I could do a lot more than my mind told me I could.  When I have been engaged in activities which require mental focus, I have been able to forget about withdrawal as it is just in the background and not prevalent on my mind.  I promise you all that I’m very confident that we will all get through this painful journey and come out on the other side as better people.  —V

Valley: great your daughter will make a full recovery. Also, great to see your business success and how you are able to leverage that as a prime distractor that is crowding out withdrawal. I especially like your idea about finding that you could do more than your mind told you that you could. Something that I need to embrace -- I've let my mind talk me out of a number of opportunities over the past year.

[[...]]

And TMB , you're almost there ! How exciting.... So much more exciting than a New Year's Eve countdown for all of us here ! 

 

We're cheering you on .

 

MiYu 

[[To...]]

And TMB , you're almost there ! How exciting.... So much more exciting than a New Year's Eve countdown for all of us here ! 

 

We're cheering you on .

 

MiYu 

Thanks, MiYu! I am getting very excited about it. Your support means a lot.

 

 

[[Su...]]

Hi everyone!  It’s been another incredibly busy week for me.  My daughter had surgery on Tuesday and had to have some metal plates screwed in to keep the bones in place. She is doing well now and will most likely make a full recovery.

 

I had additional contract hours added to one of my jobs so I have been extra busy trying to keep up with the workload as they are a large district and I have several other smaller charter schools that I contract with as well.  I would never have dreamed I would be able to work this much a year ago.  I am also going off of disability (yay!).

 

For all those struggling, I can truly empathize with each of you.  I have felt the horrible withdrawals related to the process of benzo tapering.  I understand both the mental and physical aspects of it and know how hard it is to deal with.  My only advice is to hang in there and do what is necessary to ease the symptoms and take care of yourself while having difficult withdrawals.  I also advise to distract as much as possible.  I found for myself that I could do a lot more than my mind told me I could.  When I have been engaged in activities which require mental focus, I have been able to forget about withdrawal as it is just in the background and not prevalent on my mind.  I promise you all that I’m very confident that we will all get through this painful journey and come out on the other side as better people.  —V

 

Don't think I responded to this Valley! 

Hope your daughter's recovery is uneventful!

And yours at this point

:smitten:

SS

[[Su...]]

Suffering: Thanks for explanation! One question--a bit vain---did Remeron cause weight gain? I have heard it's sort of dramatic but?? That said, at this point I'll take pounds over sleeplessness...

 

Not a vain question at all Bluepill!  Mirt does increase the appetite, that's what causes the weight gain. I have gained back the 20 lbs that I lost so rapidly when I began to taper.  That's a good thing.  Now I'm watching what I eat very carefully, knowing that I can't really rely on my bodies "full" signals to go by.  It's a kind of interesting mindfulness exercise....  doesn't always work for sure!

And for me sleep is so important.  Also when I don't sleep I tend to overeat as well so it's a matter of choice... 

The world always looks a little black around the edges when I'm not sleeping...

:smitten:

SS

[[bl...]]

Thanks NJ: Good information. Not sleeping is just not doable. I am going to talk to my dr--who is retiring!!! Ugh. I think I can do most things drug free but not sure about the sleep--that's why I started Klonopin in the first place. Don't worry about the weight. Pounds come and go. I was just curious as I'd heard some real stories about it. Wasn't sure if they were exaggerations or not. Thanks for input.

[[He...]]

Wow TMB

 

This is such good news! 8 days till your jump! Very exciting!  Good luck! I hope it all goes smoothly!

 

If you dont mind me asking.... why are you not waiting a longer while to jump since you are having wdsx ?

Wouldn’t you be more sure of an easy walk off if you held and waited until your wdsx were all gone and then slowly walk off. If you wait and hold until your wdsx are gone, you’d probably have a brain that has adjusted to the amount of drug you are presently taking and a better chance of a smooth walk off. Wouldn’t you?

 

I don’t want to be a downer, just a bit concerned and want you to be ok.....just saying I support you and cheer you on..of course! .but want you to be cautious too. I want everything to go beautifully for you.

 

Heath  :smitten:

[[To...]]

Wow TMB

 

This is such good news! 8 days till your jump! Very exciting!  Good luck! I hope it all goes smoothly!

 

If you dont mind me asking.... why are you not waiting a longer while to jump since you are having wdsx ?

Wouldn’t you be more sure of an easy walk off if you held and waited until your wdsx were all gone and then slowly walk off. If you wait and hold until your wdsx are gone, you’d probably have a brain that has adjusted to the amount of drug you are presently taking and a better chance of a smooth walk off. Wouldn’t you?

 

I don’t want to be a downer, just a bit concerned and want you to be ok.....just saying I support you and cheer you on..of course! .but want you to be cautious too. I want everything to go beautifully for you.

 

Heath  :smitten:

Thanks, Heath.

 

I don't mind you asking at all - I think it is a great question. I definitely gave it a lot of thought (about whether to hold any further). I came to the conclusion (rightly or wrongly) that whether I stay at one-tenth of one milligram or not isn't going to make much difference. I do not feel anything when I take the dose and I am just riding it out cutting one-hundreth of a milligram per day.

 

Instead, it hit me that it is just me, being me -- the person that was anxious all the time and had trouble sleeping 21 years ago is back again and no longer hidden by powerful medicine. I built an entire life around ativan, and this taper has been all about unpacking that and learning how I could live without a crutch. So, in that sense, I figure that now I am not so much having withdrawal (as a bio/chemical reaction). There were certainly stretches over the past year where there was agonizing pain and discomfort. I also know that there is still much more healing and balancing that has to occur and that I will feel in future waves, long after the last molecule of ativan is processed out of my body.

 

I had a couple not so great days -- today was a better day. I actually took a one hour nap (to try and make up for some broken sleep overnight). It's been maybe a year since I've been able to actually fall asleep during the day, even though on some days I was exhausted.

 

Maybe that's a good sign.

 

So, when I wake up tomorrow, the finish line will be just 5 days away.

 

Thank you so much for your support!

 

 

[[Al...]]

Man, I feel the the cat that finally got let out and didn’t come home for days. I think I popped in a few times just after Christmas.

Oh well, I know the cat saw better times than me that’s for sure.

My son got sick and like we always do ( he is single) we told him to come home and sleep in the rec room where it is warm. He showed up with his giant dog and stayed for three days while the wife and I looked after him and his dogs needs. Then left, as fast as he showed up. Now we are both terribly sick with the flu from Hell!

Both of us taking puffers and cold meds. This strain of Flu is said to be worse than in years past and it is so.

The meds and puffers have ramped up all my sxs of course. 

 

I will try to catch up on the threads but now I need rest.

 

Hope you are all well and doing swell

 

ATU🙏😷