The Long Hold Support Group

[[...]]

Restarting my taper after a 6 month hold.  I have worked hard on getting well again over the last 6 months.. I am feeling really good and I refuse to go back to the state I was in.. so fingers crossed that this part of my journey off of benzos goes well.

 

This is very encouraging George ..... Really happy you got stable .,what condition were you in before your hold?

I am very much in need of stabilization , and am having to renew my faith in long holds after my Valium experience ( things went south for some reason, maybe it was just withdrawals , but I was pretty sick on it )

Finding holding hard again after having my expectations dashed ...but , if I read stories like yours it gives me hope .

Love, MiYu 

 

It's funny how fast I have kind of forgotten, but I was having severe insomnia, panic attacks, problems concentrating problems thinking, total fogginess..  I felt like I was in danger of losing my job, I was making a lot of mistakes and panicking when anyone asked me for anything.  I really wasn't able to do what I was being paid for.

 

In April started CBT (therapy) and I also updosed pretty significantly, but it still took me about a month of holding at the higher dose to really start feeling better.  Over the summer I resumed my exercise routine. 

 

About 5-6 weeks ago (after seeing two other doctors) I found out my Vitamin D3, B12 and hormones were all low and that I had developed autoimmunity to my thyroid.  Since treating those things I am feeling really great... 

 

Anyway that's my story.  I sure hope you find a way to get some relief soon. <3

 

Thanks for responding George...I'm happy for you that you sorted out other issues , it does make a difference if there's other things goin on .

I've been afraid to updose as I don't respond well to the benzos I'm taking. So I don't see that it would help unfortunately.

It's great that you've been able to hold down a job too.

 

My main issue now I think is a destabilized nervous system .. I can't tolerate any stress , I'm shaky and everything is too stimulating . I'm jumpy and have to avoid all stimulation , even talking for the most part .

I don't even feel I'm necessarily in "withdrawal" anymore , just destabilized .

 

Has anyone else in this group been where I am ? I do feel if my nervous system settled down I could move forwards slowly , but i have to be so careful now .

 

I have improved since my switch to mostly K , but it's very slow , and the nervous system issues are ongoing .

I wish there was something more I could do for my CNS ....

 

If anyone has any ideas I'd welcome them .

 

Love, MiYu 

 

[[...]]

Reading the recent posts have helped me a lot. I’m referring to the ones that are discussing holding and not being ashamed or down because of having to hold.

I have been going along with my taper pretty uneventful for the past 3-4 months. But I have begun to feel sick. Just extremely tired. Not sleepy but just feel like I just ran a marathon and I haven’t done much at all. Waking with some palpataions that I haven’t had in over a year. Strange tingling in both arms. Weak legs. “Rusty” knee joints. Just feel like I am falling apart. No big crazy wdsx. Just lots of sickly feelings all adding up and making me feel horrible.

I have held for a week now. Thought that would put me back into my groove. But it hasn’t.

Looks like I’m going to have to hold much longer to get back to that functional feeling I have gotten used to and taken for granted.

So thanks for those posts, even if they weren’t directed directly to me. You never know who is reading and who will reap the rewards when you share your experiences.

 

Thanks, I know I’ll be ok in time. Time and patience.

 

Heath

 

I'm sorry you're feeling horrid , but It'll come back dear Heath  I've witnessed you go through a lot of different rounds, and you always come back to stable !

Hang in there , this too shall pass,

 

Love , MiYu 

[[Su...]]

Restarting my taper after a 6 month hold.  I have worked hard on getting well again over the last 6 months.. I am feeling really good and I refuse to go back to the state I was in.. so fingers crossed that this part of my journey off of benzos goes well.

 

This is very encouraging George ..... Really happy you got stable .,what condition were you in before your hold?

I am very much in need of stabilization , and am having to renew my faith in long holds after my Valium experience ( things went south for some reason, maybe it was just withdrawals , but I was pretty sick on it )

Finding holding hard again after having my expectations dashed ...but , if I read stories like yours it gives me hope .

Love, MiYu 

 

It's funny how fast I have kind of forgotten, but I was having severe insomnia, panic attacks, problems concentrating problems thinking, total fogginess..  I felt like I was in danger of losing my job, I was making a lot of mistakes and panicking when anyone asked me for anything.  I really wasn't able to do what I was being paid for.

 

In April started CBT (therapy) and I also updosed pretty significantly, but it still took me about a month of holding at the higher dose to really start feeling better.  Over the summer I resumed my exercise routine. 

 

About 5-6 weeks ago (after seeing two other doctors) I found out my Vitamin D3, B12 and hormones were all low and that I had developed autoimmunity to my thyroid.  Since treating those things I am feeling really great... 

 

Anyway that's my story.  I sure hope you find a way to get some relief soon. <3

 

Thanks for responding George...I'm happy for you that you sorted out other issues , it does make a difference if there's other things goin on .

I've been afraid to updose as I don't respond well to the benzos I'm taking. So I don't see that it would help unfortunately.

It's great that you've been able to hold down a job too.

 

My main issue now I think is a destabilized nervous system .. I can't tolerate any stress , I'm shaky and everything is too stimulating . I'm jumpy and have to avoid all stimulation , even talking for the most part .

I don't even feel I'm necessarily in "withdrawal" anymore , just destabilized .

 

Has anyone else in this group been where I am ? I do feel if my nervous system settled down I could move forwards slowly , but i have to be so careful now .

 

I have improved since my switch to mostly K , but it's very slow , and the nervous system issues are ongoing .

I wish there was something more I could do for my CNS ....

 

If anyone has any ideas I'd welcome them .

 

Love, MiYu 

Hi Miyu,

No real ideas that we don't already know.... holding and slowly.

But I wanted to say how glad I am for you that you are noticing some improvement!  I think it's been a long time coming....

Any improvement feels so good, proof that the systems are healing within me.....

:smitten:

SS

[[Gr...]]

Hey guys, I'm still holding here at .125mg of k.  Last week went pretty good.  I am trying so hard to not yell at my husband anymore.  He has asked me to go to see a therapist so I guess I'm going to do that.  I really have such little faith that it will help.

 

At this point, I am just trying not to listen to my angry thoughts when they appear.  Last night, I successfully did not allow myself to get angry and take it out on my husband but it honestly felt like someone was yelling at me from inside my head.  It's so weird.  My thoughts are weird and I feel like those angry thoughts are not even my own. 

 

so yeah...feeling crazy and still holding for now...

[[Se...]]

Hey guys, I'm still holding here at .125mg of k.  Last week went pretty good.  I am trying so hard to not yell at my husband anymore.  He has asked me to go to see a therapist so I guess I'm going to do that.  I really have such little faith that it will help.

 

At this point, I am just trying not to listen to my angry thoughts when they appear.  Last night, I successfully did not allow myself to get angry and take it out on my husband but it honestly felt like someone was yelling at me from inside my head.  It's so weird.  My thoughts are weird and I feel like those angry thoughts are not even my own. 

 

so yeah...feeling crazy and still holding for now...

 

I have read a lot of stories from people who would Have an angry mood while tapering. They all,said it went away eventually.

 

What's the story on your screen name "GreenCup".

[[He...]]

MiYu, Hi there

Looks like you have been changing your tapering many times between the K and the c/o  to V and holding and then up dosing at times etc. There’s nothing wrong with what you are doing when it is necessary, but not so many things so fast. 

IMO, the problem may be that your CNS is just mighty confused and trying to make sense out of what it will be fed next. Looks like maybe in your quest to feel better, you are destabilizing your CNS big time. 

IMO, that COULD be the problem.

Do you think it might help to just stop cutting completely, both the K and the V and make a real commitment to hold for a good 2-3 months at least or until you are really stable on both drugs before You start to cut again, even one drug, and even the tiniest amount.

If you are starting to feel a little better...that’s great....but it doesn’t mean you are ready to cut again, not now. Give your CNS a real rest!

That’s what I think, but it’s only IMO.

I wish you the best. It’s been a long and difficult road for you. But what you’ve been doing clearly is not working very well. How about trying to hold both meds even if you start to feel better...for a good long time. Get really stable before you proceed with your taper.

 

Heath 

[[NJ...]]

MiYu, Hi there

Looks like you have been changing your tapering many times between the K and the c/o  to V and holding and then up dosing at times etc. There’s nothing wrong with what you are doing when it is necessary, but not so many things so fast. 

IMO, the problem may be that your CNS is just mighty confused and trying to make sense out of what it will be fed next. Looks like maybe in your quest to feel better, you are destabilizing your CNS big time. 

IMO, that COULD be the problem.

Do you think it might help to just stop cutting completely, both the K and the V and make a real commitment to hold for a good 2-3 months at least or until you are really stable on both drugs before You start to cut again, even one drug, and even the tiniest amount.

If you are starting to feel a little better...that’s great....but it doesn’t mean you are ready to cut again, not now. Give your CNS a real rest!

That’s what I think, but it’s only IMO.

I wish you the best. It’s been a long and difficult road for you. But what you’ve been doing clearly is not working very well. How about trying to hold both meds even if you start to feel better...for a good long time. Get really stable before you proceed with your taper.

 

Heath 

 

I tend to agree with Heath. Miyu, you have had such a hard time. I know a really long hold helped me tremendously. Our brains need time to heal. I know we all want to get this over with which is why the long hold is so hard to actually follow through with, but I think it can really make the process much easier in the long run. Good luck; you are in a difficult spot and hard to know what will really work. You need to follow your instincts and do what works best for you.

[[Ca...]]

I agree that Heath may be on to something. I think we've all found that any change - and not just in meds - can be destabilizing.

[[NJ...]]

Hey guys, I'm still holding here at .125mg of k.  Last week went pretty good.  I am trying so hard to not yell at my husband anymore.  He has asked me to go to see a therapist so I guess I'm going to do that.  I really have such little faith that it will help.

 

At this point, I am just trying not to listen to my angry thoughts when they appear.  Last night, I successfully did not allow myself to get angry and take it out on my husband but it honestly felt like someone was yelling at me from inside my head.  It's so weird.  My thoughts are weird and I feel like those angry thoughts are not even my own. 

 

so yeah...feeling crazy and still holding for now...

 

Green Cup:

 

Had to chuckle a little at this because last week my husband told me I had to go see my therapist (I see her every other week; last week was the "off" week), as I was having a complete meltdown over my ongoing job search, which has led to tons of interviews and some offers but not the right one yet!

 

I have been seeing her for about 18 months and it is very helpful. But, and she is really good, I don't feel that she necessarily gets the whole benzo withdrawal process. She doesn't understand how shaken to the core I feel sometimes, how isolating this is, and how I feel like this is never going to end! But she does help me put things in perspective, and someone would likely help you work through the anger issues. I think we are all angry to some extent. We are all in situations we should not be in.

 

I am envious of your progress. I know you want off but being down to that level of K is awesome!

[[fe...]]

Hello Everyone:  Considering a LONG hold and looking for thoughts...since spring insomnia reared it's ugly head...but I continued to taper not realizing that is what was from withdrawal...crazy I know..so then I held for a while cause I was in bad shape from all that. July/August.  I am now down to 6.5 mg Valium equivalent as I tapered another 1 mg Valium equivalent over the last  2 months  and well again only sleeping every other night with great difficulty on the other night...lucky to get any.

 

I really hope that by holding at this dose till maybe the new year I can get back on track sleep wise and reassess my taper.  Hopefully I can get support for that here???  I guess the other possibility is that with a VERY SLOW taper sleep will right itself??  Rather confused as I didn't expect this AGAIN...tough!

 

Hope to hear from others that this has worked!

[[...]]

MiYu, Hi there

Looks like you have been changing your tapering many times between the K and the c/o  to V and holding and then up dosing at times etc. There’s nothing wrong with what you are doing when it is necessary, but not so many things so fast. 

IMO, the problem may be that your CNS is just mighty confused and trying to make sense out of what it will be fed next. Looks like maybe in your quest to feel better, you are destabilizing your CNS big time. 

IMO, that COULD be the problem.

Do you think it might help to just stop cutting completely, both the K and the V and make a real commitment to hold for a good 2-3 months at least or until you are really stable on both drugs before You start to cut again, even one drug, and even the tiniest amount.

If you are starting to feel a little better...that’s great....but it doesn’t mean you are ready to cut again, not now. Give your CNS a real rest!

That’s what I think, but it’s only IMO.

I wish you the best. It’s been a long and difficult road for you. But what you’ve been doing clearly is not working very well. How about trying to hold both meds even if you start to feel better...for a good long time. Get really stable before you proceed with your taper.

 

Heath 

 

Thank you Heath , Cally, Nj , 

 

Yes , I am holding . Since I made that partial switch from some of the V to K , I haven't changed anything dose wise . It's still rough . Some days are better than others , that's on my 'better' scale , which is still not fun , housebound and can't do much of anything . My CNS is definitely destabilized ...feels  awful.

Just occasionally I feel a little better .

 

So I agree, no changes for now .

I've taken various supplements at different times and don't know if that is affecting me at all.

And Ive also taken rescue doses of gabapentin when things are too hard to cope with.  Also probably not a great idea ...

 

I had to make my klonopin into liquid as I couldn't weigh it accurately enough For my sensitivity. So that may have been another change fro my body, but it had to be done as the scale just wasn't accurate enough .

 

So now I'm holding with the .3 k and 2 V ..... My body doesn't like these meds 

 

Some days I am more accepting than others too ....

 

Love, MiYu 

 

[[Gr...]]

Serenitee -  Thanks for responding, I always see stories of people having anxiety during withdrawal.  I often feel like the only one with anger issues.  I don't even get anxious any more at all.  My name is literally just from a green cup we have at my house.  It's a sippy cup and we still have it. 

 

NJStrength- Oh I'm so glad to hear about you and your therapist.  I have my first appointment this Friday.  I don't even know anything about her really.  TBH, I am just going to make my husband happy cause he thinks she might help. 

 

Miyu - Are you crossing back to klonopin?  I am confused as to why you went back on klonopin.  I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.  I think Heathcliff does make a good point. 

 

I've made it through the day with only blaming little things on my husband and not getting into any giant yelling fights.  Yay!  I hope I can keep this up. 

[[...]]

Serenitee -  Thanks for responding, I always see stories of people having anxiety during withdrawal.  I often feel like the only one with anger issues.  I don't even get anxious any more at all.  My name is literally just from a green cup we have at my house.  It's a sippy cup and we still have it. 

 

NJStrength- Oh I'm so glad to hear about you and your therapist.  I have my first appointment this Friday.  I don't even know anything about her really.  TBH, I am just going to make my husband happy cause he thinks she might help. 

 

Miyu - Are you crossing back to klonopin?  I am confused as to why you went back on klonopin.  I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.  I think Heathcliff does make a good point. 

 

I've made it through the day with only blaming little things on my husband and not getting into any giant yelling fights.  Yay!  I hope I can keep this up.

 

Hi Greencup ,

I've done a partial cross back to Klonopin .... I honestly don't know if itwas the right thing to do .. It's been hard , but the Valium started making me very sick . I couldn't think straight and I was so sedated I couldn't move after the smallest dose . It started doing that after not doing that for a long time, so I don't know . Klonopin isn't much better , just different . It actually feels like it irritates my nerves , makes me shaky , but I do think it's marginally better than the V for me .

The Valium was giving me liver pains too , and that's completely stopped since crossing to mostly klonopin . I do feel like the K makes my muscles tight as well ... Have you ever had that ? It passes after about an hour or so after my dose . I don't like the inner tremor thing that happens though . Could be ongoing withdrawals , so we'll see ....

 

Love, MiYu 

 

 

[[Gr...]]

Serenitee -  Thanks for responding, I always see stories of people having anxiety during withdrawal.  I often feel like the only one with anger issues.  I don't even get anxious any more at all.  My name is literally just from a green cup we have at my house.  It's a sippy cup and we still have it. 

 

NJStrength- Oh I'm so glad to hear about you and your therapist.  I have my first appointment this Friday.  I don't even know anything about her really.  TBH, I am just going to make my husband happy cause he thinks she might help. 

 

Miyu - Are you crossing back to klonopin?  I am confused as to why you went back on klonopin.  I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.  I think Heathcliff does make a good point. 

 

I've made it through the day with only blaming little things on my husband and not getting into any giant yelling fights.  Yay!  I hope I can keep this up.

 

Hi Greencup ,

I've done a partial cross back to Klonopin .... I honestly don't know if itwas the right thing to do .. It's been hard , but the Valium started making me very sick . I couldn't think straight and I was so sedated I couldn't move after the smallest dose . It started doing that after not doing that for a long time, so I don't know . Klonopin isn't much better , just different . It actually feels like it irritates my nerves , makes me shaky , but I do think it's marginally better than the V for me .

The Valium was giving me liver pains too , and that's completely stopped since crossing to mostly klonopin . I do feel like the K makes my muscles tight as well ... Have you ever had that ? It passes after about an hour or so after my dose . I don't like the inner tremor thing that happens though . Could be ongoing withdrawals , so we'll see ....

 

Love, MiYu 

 

I attempted to crossover to valium and I just did not feel like it did enough for me.  One dose of klonopin, even after taking it for 20 plus years, still did more for me than one dose of valium.  I did start taking valium as needed for a little while, but it lost it's effectiveness rather quickly and just made me sleepy but not relaxed.  In fact, I remember valium actually making me anxious and nervous and irritable, which is what made me pretty much stop taking it altogether.

 

I totally understand why you would cross back to klonopin.  For me, none of the others ever worked as well and I bet that's why I am having such a hard time getting off it. 

 

I just remembered one night, when I couldn't sleep, and I took like 4mg of klonopin and still couldn't sleep, and I was like adding in another .5mg pill every half hour or hour or so, while I was trying to sleep.  I finally did fall asleep for like 3 hours around 7am, but I remember telling my psychiatrist about it and he was like, "Sometimes, it doesn't work."

 

smh 

 

 

[[Ch...]]

Looking for some advice.  I was on 4mgs of Lorazepam and crossed over to 40mgs of Diazepam.

 

I tapered 12.5mgs of Diazepam in just under 3 months.  Which I have found out was way too fast for my body.  My cuts were 2.5mgs and my last cut really hit me hard.  I have been holding since August 26th and have seen some improvement some days but not much.  Main symptoms have been anxiety.

 

I have lost a lot of weight and was worrying myself too much about my weight so I went my GP and had some blood work done.  Everything checked out fine.

 

I know people have held for a long time before re-starting their taper.  I'm at a loss of what I should do.  The anxiety has been relentless at times.  I dose 3 times a day and cannot even tell that I've taken it.

 

Should I continue to hold until I feel more stable or continue to cut?

 

Ok, so I've been holding 10 weeks now and I haven't seen any improvement.  I feel as if I've gotten worse with my w/d symptoms.  Have I not topped out yet on the rapid taper?

 

Should I just keep holding?  I know it's only been a little over 2 months. 

 

Also, does anyone else feel cold all the time? 

[[Gr...]]

Looking for some advice.  I was on 4mgs of Lorazepam and crossed over to 40mgs of Diazepam.

 

I tapered 12.5mgs of Diazepam in just under 3 months.  Which I have found out was way too fast for my body.  My cuts were 2.5mgs and my last cut really hit me hard.  I have been holding since August 26th and have seen some improvement some days but not much.  Main symptoms have been anxiety.

 

I have lost a lot of weight and was worrying myself too much about my weight so I went my GP and had some blood work done.  Everything checked out fine.

 

I know people have held for a long time before re-starting their taper.  I'm at a loss of what I should do.  The anxiety has been relentless at times.  I dose 3 times a day and cannot even tell that I've taken it.

 

Should I continue to hold until I feel more stable or continue to cut?

 

Ok, so I've been holding 10 weeks now and I haven't seen any improvement.  I feel as if I've gotten worse with my w/d symptoms.  Have I not topped out yet on the rapid taper?

 

Should I just keep holding?  I know it's only been a little over 2 months. 

 

Also, does anyone else feel cold all the time?

 

Ah yes,cold all the time.  I feel either very cold or very hot, usually cold though.  I would hold a bit longer if I were you.  If you cut again, it will only get worse. 

 

 

[[NJ...]]

Looking for some advice.  I was on 4mgs of Lorazepam and crossed over to 40mgs of Diazepam.

 

I tapered 12.5mgs of Diazepam in just under 3 months.  Which I have found out was way too fast for my body.  My cuts were 2.5mgs and my last cut really hit me hard.  I have been holding since August 26th and have seen some improvement some days but not much.  Main symptoms have been anxiety.

 

I have lost a lot of weight and was worrying myself too much about my weight so I went my GP and had some blood work done.  Everything checked out fine.

 

I know people have held for a long time before re-starting their taper.  I'm at a loss of what I should do.  The anxiety has been relentless at times.  I dose 3 times a day and cannot even tell that I've taken it.

 

Should I continue to hold until I feel more stable or continue to cut?

 

Ok, so I've been holding 10 weeks now and I haven't seen any improvement.  I feel as if I've gotten worse with my w/d symptoms.  Have I not topped out yet on the rapid taper?

 

Should I just keep holding?  I know it's only been a little over 2 months. 

 

Also, does anyone else feel cold all the time?

 

My coworkers think I am insane because I am cold all the time. They all had their air conditioners on today but I had my space heater on .... I googled anxiety and feeling cold yesterday and apparently this is not uncommon.

 

I know the only way I ever stabilized was to updose. I always hate to lose ground but in the long run this is the only way I have managed. I really feel we do heal on the way down but that it takes a long time to heal. Hopefully others have other suggestions. I think sometimes even small bump ups can work.

[[Ch...]]

Looking for some advice.  I was on 4mgs of Lorazepam and crossed over to 40mgs of Diazepam.

 

I tapered 12.5mgs of Diazepam in just under 3 months.  Which I have found out was way too fast for my body.  My cuts were 2.5mgs and my last cut really hit me hard.  I have been holding since August 26th and have seen some improvement some days but not much.  Main symptoms have been anxiety.

 

I have lost a lot of weight and was worrying myself too much about my weight so I went my GP and had some blood work done.  Everything checked out fine.

 

I know people have held for a long time before re-starting their taper.  I'm at a loss of what I should do.  The anxiety has been relentless at times.  I dose 3 times a day and cannot even tell that I've taken it.

 

Should I continue to hold until I feel more stable or continue to cut?

 

Ok, so I've been holding 10 weeks now and I haven't seen any improvement.  I feel as if I've gotten worse with my w/d symptoms.  Have I not topped out yet on the rapid taper?

 

Should I just keep holding?  I know it's only been a little over 2 months. 

 

Also, does anyone else feel cold all the time?

 

My coworkers think I am insane because I am cold all the time. They all had their air conditioners on today but I had my space heater on .... I googled anxiety and feeling cold yesterday and apparently this is not uncommon.

 

I know the only way I ever stabilized was to updose. I always hate to lose ground but in the long run this is the only way I have managed. I really feel we do heal on the way down but that it takes a long time to heal. Hopefully others have other suggestions. I think sometimes even small bump ups can work.

 

I just can't bring myself to updose on this stuff.  As long as it's been since I made the cut I have heard it doesn't work and can make things worse.

[[...]]

Serenitee -  Thanks for responding, I always see stories of people having anxiety during withdrawal.  I often feel like the only one with anger issues.  I don't even get anxious any more at all.  My name is literally just from a green cup we have at my house.  It's a sippy cup and we still have it. 

 

NJStrength- Oh I'm so glad to hear about you and your therapist.  I have my first appointment this Friday.  I don't even know anything about her really.  TBH, I am just going to make my husband happy cause he thinks she might help. 

 

Miyu - Are you crossing back to klonopin?  I am confused as to why you went back on klonopin.  I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.  I think Heathcliff does make a good point. 

 

I've made it through the day with only blaming little things on my husband and not getting into any giant yelling fights.  Yay!  I hope I can keep this up.

 

Hi Greencup ,

I've done a partial cross back to Klonopin .... I honestly don't know if itwas the right thing to do .. It's been hard , but the Valium started making me very sick . I couldn't think straight and I was so sedated I couldn't move after the smallest dose . It started doing that after not doing that for a long time, so I don't know . Klonopin isn't much better , just different . It actually feels like it irritates my nerves , makes me shaky , but I do think it's marginally better than the V for me .

The Valium was giving me liver pains too , and that's completely stopped since crossing to mostly klonopin . I do feel like the K makes my muscles tight as well ... Have you ever had that ? It passes after about an hour or so after my dose . I don't like the inner tremor thing that happens though . Could be ongoing withdrawals , so we'll see ....

 

Love, MiYu 

 

I attempted to crossover to valium and I just did not feel like it did enough for me.  One dose of klonopin, even after taking it for 20 plus years, still did more for me than one dose of valium.  I did start taking valium as needed for a little while, but it lost it's effectiveness rather quickly and just made me sleepy but not relaxed.  In fact, I remember valium actually making me anxious and nervous and irritable, which is what made me pretty much stop taking it altogether.

 

I totally understand why you would cross back to klonopin.  For me, none of the others ever worked as well and I bet that's why I am having such a hard time getting off it. 

 

I just remembered one night, when I couldn't sleep, and I took like 4mg of klonopin and still couldn't sleep, and I was like adding in another .5mg pill every half hour or hour or so, while I was trying to sleep.  I finally did fall asleep for like 3 hours around 7am, but I remember telling my psychiatrist about it and he was like, "Sometimes, it doesn't work."

 

smh

 

Greencup, So you mean you took all that Klonopin one night? You mean K not V yes?

That's pretty amazing that it did nothing!

Was that when you were in tolerance , or after you started tapering?

 

I am seriously considering if I need a small updose, I'm not stabilizing, and it might be better to try a small updose .... Though like Nj said , I hate to loose ground, but if it works ... It'd be worth it .

 

MiYu

 

 

[[Gr...]]

Serenitee -  Thanks for responding, I always see stories of people having anxiety during withdrawal.  I often feel like the only one with anger issues.  I don't even get anxious any more at all.  My name is literally just from a green cup we have at my house.  It's a sippy cup and we still have it. 

 

NJStrength- Oh I'm so glad to hear about you and your therapist.  I have my first appointment this Friday.  I don't even know anything about her really.  TBH, I am just going to make my husband happy cause he thinks she might help. 

 

Miyu - Are you crossing back to klonopin?  I am confused as to why you went back on klonopin.  I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.  I think Heathcliff does make a good point. 

 

I've made it through the day with only blaming little things on my husband and not getting into any giant yelling fights.  Yay!  I hope I can keep this up.

 

Hi Greencup ,

I've done a partial cross back to Klonopin .... I honestly don't know if itwas the right thing to do .. It's been hard , but the Valium started making me very sick . I couldn't think straight and I was so sedated I couldn't move after the smallest dose . It started doing that after not doing that for a long time, so I don't know . Klonopin isn't much better , just different . It actually feels like it irritates my nerves , makes me shaky , but I do think it's marginally better than the V for me .

The Valium was giving me liver pains too , and that's completely stopped since crossing to mostly klonopin . I do feel like the K makes my muscles tight as well ... Have you ever had that ? It passes after about an hour or so after my dose . I don't like the inner tremor thing that happens though . Could be ongoing withdrawals , so we'll see ....

 

Love, MiYu 

 

I attempted to crossover to valium and I just did not feel like it did enough for me.  One dose of klonopin, even after taking it for 20 plus years, still did more for me than one dose of valium.  I did start taking valium as needed for a little while, but it lost it's effectiveness rather quickly and just made me sleepy but not relaxed.  In fact, I remember valium actually making me anxious and nervous and irritable, which is what made me pretty much stop taking it altogether.

 

I totally understand why you would cross back to klonopin.  For me, none of the others ever worked as well and I bet that's why I am having such a hard time getting off it. 

 

I just remembered one night, when I couldn't sleep, and I took like 4mg of klonopin and still couldn't sleep, and I was like adding in another .5mg pill every half hour or hour or so, while I was trying to sleep.  I finally did fall asleep for like 3 hours around 7am, but I remember telling my psychiatrist about it and he was like, "Sometimes, it doesn't work."

 

smh

 

Greencup, So you mean you took all that Klonopin one night? You mean K not V yes?

That's pretty amazing that it did nothing!

Was that when you were in tolerance , or after you started tapering?

 

I am seriously considering if I need a small updose, I'm not stabilizing, and it might be better to try a small updose .... Though like Nj said , I hate to loose ground, but if it works ... It'd be worth it .

 

MiYu

 

It was definitely not after I started tapering.  :laugh:  God it's just amazing how much I would take and nothing would happen.  Yeah it was 4mgs of klonopin not valium.  In fact, another time, I remember a different doc increased my dosage to 1mg of klonopin, 2 and half times a day, as needed.  And I was just falling asleep all the time,  so I told him it just wasn't working anymore.  .5 mg was not enough for my anxiety, and 1mg made me just too sleepy.  So he told me to just have a cigarette or a cup of coffee of both, and it would be fine. 

 

Yes, that must have been the beginning of tolerance for me.  It was the first year of taking it.  That was probably about after taking it for six months. 

 

MiYu, there's no shame in updosing.  Sometimes we just want to rush what can't be rushed. 

[[He...]]

Has anyone had any experience with acupuncture during withdrawal?

❤️HS

[[Se...]]

Has anyone had any experience with acupuncture during withdrawal?

❤️HS

 

I wondered at one time if that would be helpful. I PM'd a woman on BB's who had said she used it when tapering and found it very helpful. She sent me a lengthy reply. She would use it twice a week when she was in bad shape. She said it really helped although the first couple of times it actually increased her anxiety. She had just walked off her taper and was doing pretty well. That was back in June.

 

I wanted to try it but there are no acupuncturists in my area.

[[Gr...]]

I had a wonderful first attempt at acupuncture. I used to go once a week for a long time and my taper was so much easier then.  Then I took a break and when I went to go back, my acupuncturist had retired.  So I tried some other person, and it didn't really do anything for me.  I tried the new one twice and nothing.

 

I would go again, but I would try a different person.  I can see why many people think it does nothing.  I think you have to know how to do it right to make a difference.  When my good acupuncturist did it,  I would feel relaxed at the end of 45 minute session.  That night I would sleep very well, and I had no problems with anger for 3-7 days.  It also helped a lot for muscle tension and pain. 

[[sl...]]

Has anyone had any experience with acupuncture during withdrawal?

❤️HS

Not specifically for withdrawal but I have had acupuncture for years regularly, it helps insomnia for me.

I go to a couple of tried and tested practitioners whom I  knew personally.

 

I know many who find it helpful for relaxation, others find no benefit and some really dislike it.

As you know, it has no recognition by the  medical establishment so I would stress that I'm not recommending it for you but if you find someone, preferably by personal recommendation you might find it helps with insomnia and  stress.

Worth a try but be wary about who you go to.

Mine involves needles in my head and neck so it could be dangerous if done by someone not qualified or not very experienced.

[[Ba...]]

Hello.  I am in bad shape looking for input.

 

I'm another long time user of klonopin... and I do mean long time, like decades.  And I'm not totally over to valium, either, like a previous poster!  Am on something like .05 klon and .4 valium.

 

But I am trembling and not sleeping (the original problem for which I was put on disability-- we are talking circadian rhythm disturbance plus insomnia) and just can't do this any more.

 

I was having an uneentful klon taper... which I decided to do since it was not working.  Was fine til about 1/4 or less of klon, when I introduced mirtazapine at tiny dose for 6 weeks.  Got HORRIBLY ill...  anyone else would have gone to a hospital I think.  Anyhow, very sick since January of this year.  I pretty much ct the mirtaz and had no idea I'd have to taper after such a short time.  Was awful.

 

So am better than that but cannot much function and am alone and so have to.

 

Better to up the klon, up the val, get on one or the other, or as a sleep dr said, 'take restoril.'

 

I have noticed if I take an ambien, or even part of one, I sleep.  If I take a 75 lyrica, I sleep.  I so need to sleep.  A neurologist told my gabapentin or lyrica not a problem, but from the boards sure seems like they are as bad...?

 

What is the most innocuous thing I can do?

 

I have also heard that klon and valium do not get along so maybe it's bad I'm still on my klonopin crumb?

 

Have to look more into cannabis; it is legal but I don't know what would work for me.

 

Thank you.