The Long Hold Support Group

[[He...]]

So I did one of my cranial sacral massages today with a very experienced massage therapist: one of her insights into benzo withdrawal is that since those drugs mask/blunt emotional reactions, every time we step down we have to re-experience some of the trauma and distress we were trying to avoid, and that that takes a while to resolve episodically. I find this to be true: after I went down this last time I had a couple of shocks having to do with beloved family members, and this triggered older traumas. Might be a comforting thing to remember as we go through the process...

 

I completely agree with this Cally .....

I think the hard part is , not only do we have to confront traumas as we step down ( and it's harder fro those of us who have trauma to resolve ) , the meds  actually have a rebound effect that intensifies everything emotionally , which  in turn can intensify physical symptoms .....

 

 

My doc agreed to my keeping the 2 mgs Valium , yay !

 

Love, MiYu 

 

MiYu, Does that mean you won’t taper the Valium and the klonopin both at the same time?

Does that mean you will stay on the Valium and taper just the klonopin for now? And then you will taper the Valium only after you get off of the klonopin completely?

If that’s so and I’m understanding it correctly, I think that is a VERY GOOD IDEA!

 

Heath

 

You got it right Heath .... the k will go first ( when I'm ready) , and the 2 mgs V will be left til last , it will be good to have the long acting benzo already in place when I get there !

Love to you Heath , and everyone , I miss valley too !

Hope he's ok ,

 

MiYu 

 

THATS GREAT MIYU!  Heath

[[be...]]

So I did one of my cranial sacral massages today with a very experienced massage therapist: one of her insights into benzo withdrawal is that since those drugs mask/blunt emotional reactions, every time we step down we have to re-experience some of the trauma and distress we were trying to avoid, and that that takes a while to resolve episodically. I find this to be true: after I went down this last time I had a couple of shocks having to do with beloved family members, and this triggered older traumas. Might be a comforting thing to remember as we go through the process...

 

I completely agree with this Cally .....

I think the hard part is , not only do we have to confront traumas as we step down ( and it's harder fro those of us who have trauma to resolve ) , the meds  actually have a rebound effect that intensifies everything emotionally , which  in turn can intensify physical symptoms .....

 

 

My doc agreed to my keeping the 2 mgs Valium , yay !

 

Love, MiYu 

 

MiYu, Does that mean you won’t taper the Valium and the klonopin both at the same time?

Does that mean you will stay on the Valium and taper just the klonopin for now? And then you will taper the Valium only after you get off of the klonopin completely?

If that’s so and I’m understanding it correctly, I think that is a VERY GOOD IDEA!

 

Heath

 

You got it right Heath .... the k will go first ( when I'm ready) , and the 2 mgs V will be left til last , it will be good to have the long acting benzo already in place when I get there !

Love to you Heath , and everyone , I miss valley too !

Hope he's ok ,

 

MiYu 

 

THATS GREAT MIYU!  Heath

Ditto Miyu    

[[He...]]

Anoushka,

I used to get heart palpitations a lot. I am on bp meds and all is under control now. But just two days ago I woke up early on the morning with heart palpitations and the shakes. I chalk it up to cortisol surge. It only happened once. But my bp is a bit up and down lately. I went to the doc and he told me to just watch it. I have a machine at home and I am watching it.

But I wouldn’t  diagnose myself and I don’t think you should either. When it comes to blood pressure and heart things, I always say, better go to the doc. And let him tell you all is well instead of just chalking it up to withdrawal.  I hope you feel better soon. 

Heart palpitations are often from anxiety. Could it be that you are under a lot of stress lately? Just saying.

 

Be well! Heath

[[He...]]

Yesterday I was feeling kind of tired. Tummy ache too. Then in the late afternoonn I got a bit dizzy and light headed. Nothing horrible...but I think it is a warning. Think I’ve been cutting a bit too fast. I am actually on the 5th day of what I thought would be a little hold, but now I am rethinking it. Just may be a lot longer than I had anticipated. Holding indefinitely to see what happens. Just letting my body lead me. I hope I figure it out without getting major wdsx. Hope I don’t do anything stupid like cut when I shouldn’t. I know the rules of a safe and smooth taper, but unfortunately, I don’t always do what I know is the right thing!

 

Heath

 

Hope everyone is having a good day. Mine has just begun here in Southern California.

[[An...]]

Anoushka,

I used to get heart palpitations a lot. I am on bp meds and all is under control now. But just two days ago I woke up early on the morning with heart palpitations and the shakes. I chalk it up to cortisol surge. It only happened once. But my bp is a bit up and down lately. I went to the doc and he told me to just watch it. I have a machine at home and I am watching it.

But I wouldn’t  diagnose myself and I don’t think you should either. When it comes to blood pressure and heart things, I always say, better go to the doc. And let him tell you all is well instead of just chalking it up to withdrawal.  I hope you feel better soon. 

Heart palpitations are often from anxiety. Could it be that you are under a lot of stress lately? Just saying.

 

Be well! Heath

 

So good to see you again, dear Heath 

I am saddened that you had the episode early in the morning, but delighted that it went away.

Thank you for your wise advise to be seen by a doctor. I did just that. And the diagnosis was anxiety.

All heart tests they did came out normal.

But even with the good results, I still am struggling with this symptom

Thank you for being there, in my time of need. Thank you for responding dear Heath. I am grateful.

I hope that your BP gets back to normal, and it will.

Take good care. I will hold you in thought and prayer.

Healing blessings, 

Anoushka

[[Ge...]]

Restarting my taper after a 6 month hold.  I have worked hard on getting well again over the last 6 months.. I am feeling really good and I refuse to go back to the state I was in.. so fingers crossed that this part of my journey off of benzos goes well.

[[Su...]]

Hi George...

Thanks for coming back and letting us know how your doing. I see you are a long term Xanax user as well.... A  six month hold is inspiring!

Hope things are going well, wishing you the best...

SS

[[be...]]

Restarting my taper after a 6 month hold.  I have worked hard on getting well again over the last 6 months.. I am feeling really good and I refuse to go back to the state I was in.. so fingers crossed that this part of my journey off of benzos goes well.

Great News, thanks for sharing, this will help someone here I am sure. You have the right attitude, you will be OK.

[[Ge...]]

Thanks for the encouragement SS and BG! 

[[Wo...]]

MiYu, thanks for your reply and also normalizing the fear and shame. There was also another comment on that so thanks for that as well. I have had such a rough two weeks at this dose that I am not going to cut tomorrow as I usually do. My body needs a break so bad. I know everyone here understands.

 

[[Se...]]

MiYu, thanks for your reply and also normalizing the fear and shame. There was also another t comment on that so thanks for that as well. I have had such a rough two weeks at this dose that I am not going to cut tomorrow as I usually do. My body needs a break so bad. I know everyone here understands.

 

You have nothing to be ashamed about. Check this out, I started my taper at .25mg of Xanax last December and you are almost where I am at right now. You are doing really well. No need to feel guilty about taking a break from active tapering. A nice hold will give your body time to catch up to your taper.

 

Best Wishes going forward. 

[[sl...]]

Thanks for the encouragement SS and BG! 

 

Let me add mine too, GeorgeVI

My long holds were what got me through.

Almost done now and feeling great.

Good luck and good wishes

[[sl...]]

MiYu, thanks for your reply and also normalizing the fear and shame. There was also another t comment on that so thanks for that as well. I have had such a rough two weeks at this dose that I am not going to cut tomorrow as I usually do. My body needs a break so bad. I know everyone here understands.

 

You have nothing to be ashamed about. Check this out, I started my taper at .25mg of Xanax last December and you are almost where I am at right now. You are doing really well. No need to feel guilty about taking a break from active tapering. A nice hold will give your body time to catch up to your taper.

 

Best Wishes going forward.

Totally agree Serenitee

No shame in this however long it takes you, and no shame in being on the benzo - we were all prescribed them weren't we.

I also believe that the fear is normal.

It is a well known  part of the withdrawal process.

Good luck to everyone on here 

[[Su...]]

MiYu, thanks for your reply and also normalizing the fear and shame. There was also another comment on that so thanks for that as well. I have had such a rough two weeks at this dose that I am not going to cut tomorrow as I usually do. My body needs a break so bad. I know everyone here understands.

 

We sure do..... I do for sure!  taking a break is the best thing to do at times.  And I too know the fear and shame netherlands....

[[...]]

Restarting my taper after a 6 month hold.  I have worked hard on getting well again over the last 6 months.. I am feeling really good and I refuse to go back to the state I was in.. so fingers crossed that this part of my journey off of benzos goes well.

 

This is very encouraging George ..... Really happy you got stable .,what condition were you in before your hold?

I am very much in need of stabilization , and am having to renew my faith in long holds after my Valium experience ( things went south for some reason, maybe it was just withdrawals , but I was pretty sick on it )

Finding holding hard again after having my expectations dashed ...but , if I read stories like yours it gives me hope .

Love, MiYu 

[[Ge...]]

Restarting my taper after a 6 month hold.  I have worked hard on getting well again over the last 6 months.. I am feeling really good and I refuse to go back to the state I was in.. so fingers crossed that this part of my journey off of benzos goes well.

 

This is very encouraging George ..... Really happy you got stable .,what condition were you in before your hold?

I am very much in need of stabilization , and am having to renew my faith in long holds after my Valium experience ( things went south for some reason, maybe it was just withdrawals , but I was pretty sick on it )

Finding holding hard again after having my expectations dashed ...but , if I read stories like yours it gives me hope .

Love, MiYu 

 

It's funny how fast I have kind of forgotten, but I was having severe insomnia, panic attacks, problems concentrating problems thinking, total fogginess..  I felt like I was in danger of losing my job, I was making a lot of mistakes and panicking when anyone asked me for anything.  I really wasn't able to do what I was being paid for.

 

In April started CBT (therapy) and I also updosed pretty significantly, but it still took me about a month of holding at the higher dose to really start feeling better.  Over the summer I resumed my exercise routine. 

 

About 5-6 weeks ago (after seeing two other doctors) I found out my Vitamin D3, B12 and hormones were all low and that I had developed autoimmunity to my thyroid.  Since treating those things I am feeling really great... 

 

Anyway that's my story.  I sure hope you find a way to get some relief soon. <3

 

[[He...]]

Reading the recent posts have helped me a lot. I’m referring to the ones that are discussing holding and not being ashamed or down because of having to hold.

I have been going along with my taper pretty uneventful for the past 3-4 months. But I have begun to feel sick. Just extremely tired. Not sleepy but just feel like I just ran a marathon and I haven’t done much at all. Waking with some palpataions that I haven’t had in over a year. Strange tingling in both arms. Weak legs. “Rusty” knee joints. Just feel like I am falling apart. No big crazy wdsx. Just lots of sickly feelings all adding up and making me feel horrible.

I have held for a week now. Thought that would put me back into my groove. But it hasn’t.

Looks like I’m going to have to hold much longer to get back to that functional feeling I have gotten used to and taken for granted.

So thanks for those posts, even if they weren’t directed directly to me. You never know who is reading and who will reap the rewards when you share your experiences.

 

Thanks, I know I’ll be ok in time. Time and patience.

 

Heath

[[Wo...]]

Hi everyone just checking in. Yes it’s good to read others experiences here about overcoming shame about holding. I am now so sick and tired of this that I can even imagine holding through the winter just so I don’t have to go through hell with the low sun and vitamin D deficiency which can get me depressed. It was one thing to taper during sunny days and at least feel psychologically okay it’s another to do this during the bleak winter months. I am not sure I’d make it. At first I thought I was doing better and better the lower I got because my symptoms were going away and I had a very long window. I’ve been able to do cardio again and to me that was a huge sign of improvement. Then the window passed and I went into almost acute like overnight. I feel better today and so I’m going into my third week of holding. Does anyone else feel like they are in a trap, in prison, in a conspiracy or that they’ve been poisoned? Is there really a way to get off this stuff sanely and smoothly? I am down to .07 K and have only used it to taper off benzos I’ve only taken a benzo daily for the 6 months I’ve been on this and it’s just unbelievable how intense this is. I’m rambling but needed to share. I am sure y’all can relate.

[[Be...]]

Hi I  am worrying I have become tolerant and need to get off. Could you advice me please. I've been holding over 2 months and no better. I post on here a few times and don't know how to find replies. Can Someone pm me and let me know as I'm thinking I'm the only person that gets no help.

[[be...]]

Reading the recent posts have helped me a lot. I’m referring to the ones that are discussing holding and not being ashamed or down because of having to hold.

I have been going along with my taper pretty uneventful for the past 3-4 months. But I have begun to feel sick. Just extremely tired. Not sleepy but just feel like I just ran a marathon and I haven’t done much at all. Waking with some palpataions that I haven’t had in over a year. Strange tingling in both arms. Weak legs. “Rusty” knee joints. Just feel like I am falling apart. No big crazy wdsx. Just lots of sickly feelings all adding up and making me feel horrible.

I have held for a week now. Thought that would put me back into my groove. But it hasn’t.

Looks like I’m going to have to hold much longer to get back to that functional feeling I have gotten used to and taken for granted.

So thanks for those posts, even if they weren’t directed directly to me. You never know who is reading and who will reap the rewards when you share your experiences.

 

Thanks, I know I’ll be ok in time. Time and patience.

 

Heath

Heath are you still cutting the same percentage? or have you reduced it, I think we all had discussed how the lower we go the bigger the percentage we are actually cutting. This happened to me and I have had to cut less as 5% in reality is much higher of a cut now that I am lower. Just a thought. Yes do hang in there and hold, your Brain is pleading with you to halt and let it catch up, listen to its signs and know that you will be off when I it is time, not a second sooner. I know that someday you will walk, slide off just as I will. Stay Strong, and keep posting to others here, you have come such a long way and give very good advise. I hope Valley is reading on his phone and Cant too, and letting them know they are missed. They can read and not sign in. OK off track sorry.

[[be...]]

Hi I  am worrying I have become tolerant and need to get off. Could you advice me please. I've been holding over 2 months and no better. I post on here a few times and don't know how to find replies. Can Someone pm me and let me know as I'm thinking I'm the only person that gets no help.

Hi I am sorry your questions have not been answered, our Leader here has been off for a while due to Family pressures. Sometimes this thread is be-bopping, I know that some are missed. I tend to answer those questions I am comfortable with and others may be not feeling well or not on as much. All I can say with surety is that it takes a long time to stabilize after maybe going too fast and holds take as long as they take, hopefully you will start feeling better soon. Also it is common to feel that we must hurry and get off of the medication, that is something that is individual. I have been holding all along at various times and it has worked well for me, and I have not cut too much or too fast. I I hope this helps you some, I am sure that someone may pm you or post here. Have you read Valleys "Propaganda list", it is a few pages back, it helps to read that. Best to you.

[[Be...]]

Restarting my taper after a 6 month hold.  I have worked hard on getting well again over the last 6 months.. I am feeling really good and I refuse to go back to the state I was in.. so fingers crossed that this part of my journey off of benzos goes well.

 

This is very encouraging George ..... Really happy you got stable .,what condition were you in before your hold?

I am very much in need of stabilization , and am having to renew my faith in long holds after my Valium experience ( things went south for some reason, maybe it was just withdrawals , but I was pretty sick on it )

Finding holding hard again after having my expectations dashed ...but , if I read stories like yours it gives me hope .

Love, MiYu 

 

It's funny how fast I have kind of forgotten, but I was having severe insomnia, panic attacks, problems concentrating problems thinking, total fogginess..  I felt like I was in danger of losing my job, I was making a lot of mistakes and panicking when anyone asked me for anything.  I really wasn't able to do what I was being paid for.

 

In April started CBT (therapy) and I also updosed pretty significantly, but it still took me about a month of holding at the higher dose to really start feeling better.  Over the summer I resumed my exercise routine. 

 

About 5-6 weeks ago (after seeing two other doctors) I found out my Vitamin D3, B12 and hormones were all low and that I had developed autoimmunity to my thyroid.  Since treating those things I am feeling really great... 

 

Anyway that's my story.  I sure hope you find a way to get some relief soon. <3

 

i have been holding for over 2 months and feeling no better. I worry thst im in tolerance  snd neef to start cutting sgsin, but ftightened of doung do. Pkease adbice.

Hi I  am worrying I have become tolerant and need to get off. Could you advice me please. I've been holding over 2 months and no better. I post on here a few times and don't know how to find replies. Can Someone pm me and let me know as I'm thinking I'm the only person that gets no help.

Hi I am sorry your questions have not been answered, our Leader here has been off for a while due to Family pressures. Sometimes this thread is be-bopping, I know that some are missed. I tend to answer those questions I am comfortable with and others may be not feeling well or not on as much. All I can say with surety is that it takes a long time to stabilize after maybe going too fast and holds take as long as they take, hopefully you will start feeling better soon. Also it is common to feel that we must hurry and get off of the medication, that is something that is individual. I have been holding all along at various times and it has worked well for me, and I have not cut too much or too fast. I I hope this helps you some, I am sure that someone may pm you or post here. Have you read Valleys "Propaganda list", it is a few pages back, it helps to read that. Best to you.

[[Ge...]]

Reading the recent posts have helped me a lot. I’m referring to the ones that are discussing holding and not being ashamed or down because of having to hold.

I have been going along with my taper pretty uneventful for the past 3-4 months. But I have begun to feel sick. Just extremely tired. Not sleepy but just feel like I just ran a marathon and I haven’t done much at all. Waking with some palpataions that I haven’t had in over a year. Strange tingling in both arms. Weak legs. “Rusty” knee joints. Just feel like I am falling apart. No big crazy wdsx. Just lots of sickly feelings all adding up and making me feel horrible.

I have held for a week now. Thought that would put me back into my groove. But it hasn’t.

Looks like I’m going to have to hold much longer to get back to that functional feeling I have gotten used to and taken for granted.

So thanks for those posts, even if they weren’t directed directly to me. You never know who is reading and who will reap the rewards when you share your experiences.

 

Thanks, I know I’ll be ok in time. Time and patience.

 

Heath

 

Heath the tiredness and tingling are also symptoms of a B12 deficiency.  My B12 levels fell in half while I was in withdrawl .    Have you had yours checked very recently?

[[ly...]]

Hi everyone just checking in. Yes it’s good to read others experiences here about overcoming shame about holding. I am now so sick and tired of this that I can even imagine holding through the winter just so I don’t have to go through hell with the low sun and vitamin D deficiency which can get me depressed. It was one thing to taper during sunny days and at least feel psychologically okay it’s another to do this during the bleak winter months. I am not sure I’d make it. At first I thought I was doing better and better the lower I got because my symptoms were going away and I had a very long window. I’ve been able to do cardio again and to me that was a huge sign of improvement. Then the window passed and I went into almost acute like overnight. I feel better today and so I’m going into my third week of holding. Does anyone else feel like they are in a trap, in prison, in a conspiracy or that they’ve been poisoned? Is there really a way to get off this stuff sanely and smoothly? I am down to .07 K and have only used it to taper off benzos I’ve only taken a benzo daily for the 6 months I’ve been on this and it’s just unbelievable how intense this is. I’m rambling but needed to share. I am sure y’all can relate.

 

 

WW, I can understand the gloom that can descend during the bleak days of Winter.   I'd probably hold as well.  During my taper I was lucky enough to escape to Florida for a good part of the Winter and this was sure a help.  I truly dread the time change and the darkness.  Do you have a light box?  These can be quite beneficial.

 

I was able to get off while feeling well and living a full life.  I attribute that to my decision to slow things way down and incorporate 30 day holds while tapering from .325mgs to .1mg.  I then went even slower as wd sxs started to ramp.  I took 7 months to go from .1mgs to 0.  I did not feel trapped as I was able to more or less forget the taper most of the time.  I just put the whole thing out of my mind and carried on with life.  The taper did not define me - it played a minor part and was more annoying than anything else.

 

It was a little hard (maybe more than a little) to go so slow as I'm a very competitive person and saw myself falling behind others.  I was able to put that race mentality aside and came to believe I was winning by having a relatively easy taper and also coming to the conclusion that mild symptoms would mean a mild walk-off.  It's no win to find yourself in acute, or worse - protracted.  When you feel well and are living life the time passes very quickly.   I believe that I accomplished a very successful taper.

 

So, if it were me I would take as long as necessary to achieve a "successful" taper.   And put the prison thoughts to the side.

[[Ca...]]

Reading the recent posts have helped me a lot. I’m referring to the ones that are discussing holding and not being ashamed or down because of having to hold.

I have been going along with my taper pretty uneventful for the past 3-4 months. But I have begun to feel sick. Just extremely tired. Not sleepy but just feel like I just ran a marathon and I haven’t done much at all. Waking with some palpataions that I haven’t had in over a year. Strange tingling in both arms. Weak legs. “Rusty” knee joints. Just feel like I am falling apart. No big crazy wdsx. Just lots of sickly feelings all adding up and making me feel horrible.

I have held for a week now. Thought that would put me back into my groove. But it hasn’t.

Looks like I’m going to have to hold much longer to get back to that functional feeling I have gotten used to and taken for granted.

So thanks for those posts, even if they weren’t directed directly to me. You never know who is reading and who will reap the rewards when you share your experiences.

 

Thanks, I know I’ll be ok in time. Time and patience.

 

Heath

 

Heath I think this might be the category I am in as well. I was chugging along for several months, then got interrupted by Shingles, got over that (tapering all the while) - but this last cut of .06 V a day is really making itself felt. Some things have stayed stable: my sleep has not really suffered, and I can on most days get out of bed and function - but I am having awful nausea and anxiety and my rebound spine pain. And yesterday was one of those days where I barely made it home before falling into my bed and staying there, feeling very ashamed because I am married to a guy who is totally tank-like all the time; working and going and doing something constructive always. So....i am holding for a while as well: even thinking about updosing a bit to get back to where I was....Time and patience for sure