The Long Hold Support Group

[[Su...]]

Valley....Lynn....anyone

 

I'm still feeling lousy and my family doctor wants me to start cutting again....I need to get some blood work done first......but I'm paralyzed by fear to start up again....

 

I felt terrible cutting and feel terrible holding....I'm lost

 

He said to cut but hold longer in between ......He's prescribing.....holidays are coming up.....

 

❤️HS

 

Hey HS,

Didn't a neurologist suggest that you hold for a long time? Can you get them to prescribe?

Coming off 1mg of Ativan is no small feat!

And I concur with some here-  I find that Valium is very depressing.....

I intend to taper some of the Valium, not all as it really helps with interdose w/d, after a hold.  To see how I feel with less on board.....

I don't need/want something that is causing me low mood and lower energy.... the taper does that all on its own.

SS

[[He...]]

 

 

Hi Everyone,

 

Three months off now and the 3 things that I have are diminishing.  I'm very pleased.  I truly believe that acute and lengthy post-withdrawal issues can be avoided by a slow taper that keeps wd in check.  I had no ramping at all when I "walked off". 

 

I off this morning for a month in Florida - solo!

 

 

 

 

Lynn. Whenever I get impatient I think of you. You are definitely one of my heroes. You lift me up and keep my patience in tact. Congrats to you for your splendid journey although I know it was hell a lot of the time. Hope you continue to feel good forever and forever!

 

Heath

[[sl...]]

Valley....Lynn....anyone

 

I'm still feeling lousy and my family doctor wants me to start cutting again....I need to get some blood work done first......but I'm paralyzed by fear to start up again....

 

I felt terrible cutting and feel terrible holding....I'm lost

 

He said to cut but hold longer in between ......He's prescribing.....holidays are coming up.....

 

❤️HS

 

Hey HS,

Didn't a neurologist suggest that you hold for a long time? Can you get them to prescribe?

Coming off 1mg of Ativan is no small feat!

And I concur with some here-  I find that Valium is very depressing.....

I intend to taper some of the Valium, not all as it really helps with interdose w/d, after a hold.  To see how I feel with less on board.....

I don't need/want something that is causing me low mood and lower energy.... the taper does that all on its own.

SS

Hi Suffering  - good thinking about the neurologist, I forgot about that.

That is why I was asking about why HS was given valium, whether it was to help with interdose w/d or for some other reason, like pain for instance.

It made me feel low and fatigued as well.

[[He...]]

The neurologist told me to hold and get back into life....I think his expectations were unrealistic.  I tried to do that pushing to accomplish something each day....go to grocery store.....I just crashed again.  I think I'm tolerant on this dose.

 

I was given Valium awhile back to help me sleep.....it doesn't.....now I'm addicted to something else...having to come off of that too.

 

My family doc thinks I have no choice but to cut......because the Ativan is not helping and is only prolonging the agony.

 

My husband saw a week of improvement and wants me to hold until after Christmas......I don't want to be like this anymore...I don't feel well when I hold and I don't feel well when I cut....

 

 

Just unrelenting anxiety all the time and really off balance every day.

 

I have another friend who is no longer on BB who is almost off ......she's encouraging me to cut and get rid of the poison.

 

Perhaps I just need to cut smaller amounts and hold longer like Begood.

 

 

I'm sorry to be discouraging.....and wasn't going to post here again because I feel like I drive people away......but you asked

 

I'm trying to figure it out......but I feel terrible all the time.

 

❤️HS

[[He...]]

Just had a full blown panic attack about the whole thing

[[be...]]

HS, I am thinking you are too saturated with what to do, and you alone must make this decision about how to proceed, once you make up your mind you will find a Peace like none other, there is nothing set in stone in Life and especially when it comes to benzo's but I have said it before "What we resist persists" All I know what works for me, and that I had to find out how to do what was best for me, I think you need to take a deep breath and let all the thoughts go and be one with your breathing, look at my red breathe icon below and breath and relax. You are running around in circles and this is causing you to have more and more doubts, take some time and you will figure it out, go somewhere quiet and give up all the what ifs and why's and see what the Universe sends back to you, but you must give in to it and not fight it. You are going to be OK just Breathe.

[[sl...]]

That's ok HS

I asked because if you were given it for pain then it may be that you need it but if it was for sleep then you might be like me, it actually hindered my sleep, I'm sleeping well again since I got below the 3 mg mark.

 

I often used to wonder if I was just prolonging the agony, it's hard to know what to do.

If your husband has noticed an improvement, even if it was only for a week, I would keep holding for a while as long as your doctor isn't hassling you.

 

We are all trying to figure this thing out - I was in a bad way until a few weeks ago and now - zilch symptoms and feel great.

I think the cutting tiny amounts and holding for as long as you feel the need to is a good idea, that worked more me and, I think Lynn.

 

Sorry you are having such a bad time.

I think we all know how that feels .

I go away to India on Thursday but will be interested to know how you go on.

Good luck whatever you decide.

[[sl...]]

HS, I am thinking you are too saturated with what to do, and you alone must make this decision about how to proceed, once you make up your mind you will find a Peace like none other, there is nothing set in stone in Life and especially when it comes to benzo's but I have said it before "What we resist persists" All I know what works for me, and that I had to find out how to do what was best for me, I think you need to take a deep breath and let all the thoughts go and be one with your breathing, look at my red breathe icon below and breath and relax. You are running around in circles and this is causing you to have more and more doubts, take some time and you will figure it out, go somewhere quiet and give up all the what ifs and why's and see what the Universe sends back to you, but you must give in to it and not fight it. You are going to be OK just Breathe.

Yes I agree.

 

[[He...]]

Me too.....Begood you are very wise.  I'm on too many drugs and I feel miserable...thanks Slowly improving

 

I don't need to be a miserable person.....I'm just so confused.

 

Before I reached tolerance.....I had a pain condition but I had a full life and I'm actually a good person..this is not who I'm supposed to be. 

 

Going to take a shower

 

I just feel like I'm disappointing everyone....need to do what is right for me.....wish I knew

 

Will try to be still and ask God for guidance

❤️HS

 

[[He...]]

Thank you

[[To...]]

 

 

Hi Everyone,

 

Three months off now and the 3 things that I have are diminishing.  I'm very pleased.  I truly believe that acute and lengthy post-withdrawal issues can be avoided by a slow taper that keeps wd in check.  I had no ramping at all when I "walked off". 

 

I off this morning for a month in Florida - solo!

Just catching up after a few days off of BB. Lynn, this is great news. Great accomplishment. Have a great time in Florida!

[[Su...]]

Thank you

 

Yes-- that BG is one wise woman..... and only you can know what to do for yourself.

It's so hard when so many are going advice --and  I'm one of them.

I don't think you drive people away, and your despair is voicing what we all feel at times -- I don't know anyone who goes through this ordeal without some level of despairing "how did I get here? How do I get out?"

 

I do know that many people in BB don't really believe in holds..... so just want to point that out.  Going by the Ashton manual they are not a good idea.  Going by what many have experienced here, they truly help with functioning and with tapering.  I know my functioning has improved 10 fold since I have included them in my decision making.  And some days I can do very little.....

 

Now please reread what BG said........ 

SS

[[He...]]

Thanks SS for your support

 

Yes. I have many cooks in the kitchen. Holding this time was a Godsend ... I could not have continued the way I was going...... I'm not sure a gigantic long hold is going to make me feel better.  After I thought on it...... I think I must reduce my dose slowly AND include holds for my brain.

 

I haven't figured out how that is going to look yet. 

 

I can't do this alone..... you people are wonderful to me. 

When I post on the withdrawal board. I get no or very little responses..

 

I do feel like my desperation is driving people away and for that I'm sorry to everyone.

 

Like all of us here..... I'm trying to figure it out so I can be well.

 

❤️HS

[[...]]

Just saying hello to everyone ..... 

 

Begood , I love your wisdom ....

I am trying this approach as one can drive oneself crazy trying to figure things out.

 

It does get very frustrating when nothing seems to work .

 

For  myself , the klonopin is making me just as sick as the Valium . If I didn't feel so awful after every dose , I wouldn't be so concerned .

The k is different from the Valium ..... The Valium was awful fro me after a while , the K seems worse in some ways and in others not .

 

I do feel stuck between a rock and a hard place having to take the med and not being able to taper , and holding isn't making things better either because of my adverse reactions ... Ugh .

 

So here I am , just  stuck and not knowing the way forward .

I so want a hold to work , but I can't see it with the reaction to the meds.......

 

The fires here are finally being contained ....that's at least less stress .

 

Well, love to everyone and keep going. Whatever that means fro you .,

MiYu 

 

 

[[Va...]]

Just saying hello to everyone ..... 

 

Begood , I love your wisdom ....

I am trying this approach as one can drive oneself crazy trying to figure things out.

 

It does get very frustrating when nothing seems to work .

 

For  myself , the klonopin is making me just as sick as the Valium . If I didn't feel so awful after every dose , I wouldn't be so concerned .

The k is different from the Valium ..... The Valium was awful fro me after a while , the K seems worse in some ways and in others not .

 

I do feel stuck between a rock and a hard place having to take the med and not being able to taper , and holding isn't making things better either because of my adverse reactions ... Ugh .

 

So here I am , just  stuck and not knowing the way forward .

I so want a hold to work , but I can't see it with the reaction to the meds.......

 

The fires here are finally being contained ....that's at least less stress .

 

Well, love to everyone and keep going. Whatever that means fro you .,

MiYu 

So sorry that you continue to suffer MiYu. I’m not sure what advice to give. I do think your CNS is still trying to adjust to changes made and is possibly still withdrawing from the valium.

 

So good to hear the fires are contained! Hang in there. You’ll get through this. 

[[Va...]]

Thanks SS for your support

 

Yes. I have many cooks in the kitchen. Holding this time was a Godsend ... I could not have continued the way I was going...... I'm not sure a gigantic long hold is going to make me feel better.  After I thought on it...... I think I must reduce my dose slowly AND include holds for my brain.

 

I haven't figured out how that is going to look yet. 

 

I can't do this alone..... you people are wonderful to me. 

When I post on the withdrawal board. I get no or very little responses..

 

I do feel like my desperation is driving people away and for that I'm sorry to everyone.

 

Like all of us here..... I'm trying to figure it out so I can be well.

 

❤️HS

HS, this is the best group for support IMHO. Never feel you are driving people away. We’ve all gone through some pretty uncomfortable times during this process and have experienced doubt along the way. Try not to stress. Things will eventually workout when you figure the rate at which you can function with minimal symptoms.  —V

[[He...]]

Thank Valley

 

I was reading earlier posts on the Long Hold thread last night.....nobody gets through this process unscathed.  You are all so kind.

I am grateful

❤️HS

[[...]]

Just saying hello to everyone ..... 

 

Begood , I love your wisdom ....

I am trying this approach as one can drive oneself crazy trying to figure things out.

 

It does get very frustrating when nothing seems to work .

 

For  myself , the klonopin is making me just as sick as the Valium . If I didn't feel so awful after every dose , I wouldn't be so concerned .

The k is different from the Valium ..... The Valium was awful fro me after a while , the K seems worse in some ways and in others not .

 

I do feel stuck between a rock and a hard place having to take the med and not being able to taper , and holding isn't making things better either because of my adverse reactions ... Ugh .

 

So here I am , just  stuck and not knowing the way forward .

I so want a hold to work , but I can't see it with the reaction to the meds.......

 

The fires here are finally being contained ....that's at least less stress .

 

Well, love to everyone and keep going. Whatever that means fro you .,

MiYu 

So sorry that you continue to suffer MiYu. I’m not sure what advice to give. I do think your CNS is still trying to adjust to changes made and is possibly still withdrawing from the valium.

 

So good to hear the fires are contained! Hang in there. You’ll get through this. 

 

Thank you Valley , your encouragement and assuredness is invaluable ! Like HS I hate to post the same thing over and over , but it sure helps to get encouragement .

 

Yes... I wish I wasn't having such a bad reaction to the K , and I, sure that will get easier as I get lower in dose , but it's the getting there !

I'm all for long holds , I've been a convert for some time now .... I guess I just don't know of my body  ever be ok on benzos to the degree where I can function . The only time I had a glimpse of that was when I was on 10 mgs V before I started a taper.... I wasn't stable exactly , but I was better than I've been ever since . I could hold a conversation at least ! Had a few days here and there where things were better in the last year .

Oh in retrospect ......

 

Love , MiYu

[[He...]]

HS, I am thinking you are too saturated with what to do, and you alone must make this decision about how to proceed, once you make up your mind you will find a Peace like none other, there is nothing set in stone in Life and especially when it comes to benzo's but I have said it before "What we resist persists" All I know what works for me, and that I had to find out how to do what was best for me, I think you need to take a deep breath and let all the thoughts go and be one with your breathing, look at my red breathe icon below and breath and relax. You are running around in circles and this is causing you to have more and more doubts, take some time and you will figure it out, go somewhere quiet and give up all the what ifs and why's and see what the Universe sends back to you, but you must give in to it and not fight it. You are going to be OK just Breathe.

 

 

BeGood,

 

You wrote the above to HS but I read everything you write too. Wise is an understatement when it comes to your advice. Thank you for being here and helping so many with your wisdom and kindness.

 

Heath

[[He...]]

I agree.  She's great! 

[[He...]]

HS

 

I gave you a Purple Heart ( oh it didn't show) because that's what the military gives to some warriors who have shown extreme courage and bravery and have been hurt in battle.  I think you deserve it.

 

You have already gotten such wonderful advice here, but I hope you don't mind me putting in my two cents.

I have not ever been on more than one drug so I really can't give any advice on that.

I have been tapering Valium for about 21 months now and I too have had some pretty rough times.

with the help of many buddies I have gotten out of BAD PLACES.AND LEARNED SO MUCH.

 

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR ME, THAT I ALWAYS TRY TO REMEMBER IS.........

 

DON'T CUT WHEN YOU ARE HAVING BAD WDSX. THAT WILL ONLY MAKE MATTERS WORSE. THE BEST RECOMMENDED THING IS TO HOLD UNTIL YOU FEEL STABLE.

 

ALSO ONE OF THE THINGS THAT VALIUM DID TO ME WAS GIVE ME CRAZY ANXIETY. I COUKDNT THINK STRAIGHT. THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN QUITE OBVIOUS AND

ANSWERS  AS TO WHAT I SHOULD DO, THAT I would have KNOWN BEFORE, WERE NOW COMPLETELY LOST TO ME.

IN ACTUALITY, IT WAS THE VALIUM BENZO DEVIL ITSELF THAT WAS DOING THAT TO ME. THE DOUBT and anxiety ITSELF WAS A WDSX FROM TAPERING VALIUM!

 

I think Begood's advice is spot on.

Time to stop, think, don't do anything rash. Let the anxiety and other wdfx slow down. Hold until you can think straight. ( even if you areaving wdfx while you hold, in time they WILL SUBSIDE.)

I am a firm believer that a hold will help you. IMO Cutting now will only make things worse.

And don't ever think you are a burden.

We have all been where you are.these drugs turn us into a ball of hopeless jelly at times. We need one another to pull us out of dispair.

We will always be here for you no matter what!

 

And if it helps you to know, my sleep (that Valium made worse for me) has gotten sooo much better since I got under 1 mg.

 

Be strong! Hold on! You can do this. The key is....S. L. O. W.    D. O. W. N  and  you will see that little by little you will become functional again. Sometimes holds need to be longer than we realize in order to pull us out of a bad place. Be patient. Hold as long as it takes and you will be glad you did.

The turtle does eventually win the race! The rabbit just gets to the finish line in a hurry, but crashes many times on the way and although he gets to the finish line, he does not win the race after all...just suffers a lot at the end because he rushed too fast!

 

Take care! We are with you.  Heathcliff

 

[[He...]]

❤️

[[be...]]

HS, I am thinking you are too saturated with what to do, and you alone must make this decision about how to proceed, once you make up your mind you will find a Peace like none other, there is nothing set in stone in Life and especially when it comes to benzo's but I have said it before "What we resist persists" All I know what works for me, and that I had to find out how to do what was best for me, I think you need to take a deep breath and let all the thoughts go and be one with your breathing, look at my red breathe icon below and breath and relax. You are running around in circles and this is causing you to have more and more doubts, take some time and you will figure it out, go somewhere quiet and give up all the what ifs and why's and see what the Universe sends back to you, but you must give in to it and not fight it. You are going to be OK just Breathe.

 

 

BeGood,

 

You wrote the above to HS but I read everything you write too. Wise is an understatement when it comes to your advice. Thank you for being here and helping so many with your wisdom and kindness.

 

Heath

Thanks Heath, and I read all that you write also and you have come a long way and now you are helping others, you are worthy of your thoughts here and you are a very caring person. Keep up the good work that you do.

[[be...]]

Just saying hello to everyone ..... 

 

Begood , I love your wisdom ....

I am trying this approach as one can drive oneself crazy trying to figure things out.

 

It does get very frustrating when nothing seems to work .

 

For  myself , the klonopin is making me just as sick as the Valium . If I didn't feel so awful after every dose , I wouldn't be so concerned .

The k is different from the Valium ..... The Valium was awful fro me after a while , the K seems worse in some ways and in others not .

 

I do feel stuck between a rock and a hard place having to take the med and not being able to taper , and holding isn't making things better either because of my adverse reactions ... Ugh .

 

So here I am , just  stuck and not knowing the way forward .

I so want a hold to work , but I can't see it with the reaction to the meds.......

 

The fires here are finally being contained ....that's at least less stress .

 

Well, love to everyone and keep going. Whatever that means fro you .,

MiYu 

MiYu I am with all here that worry so about you and want so much for you to feel better, if only we knew what to say and do for you that would make this all get better for you, I do not, only that we are all with you in thought and walking silently beside you, you are not alone. Prayers and Strength to you. So happy you are no longer in harms way. The one thing I think of always, that if we can hang on to Hope we can make it one more day and sometimes one more hour as we never know what tomorrow will bring. Stay Strong.

[[He...]]

Hi all. I just read Heaths post.....

 

Could someone please look at my signature and tell me if you think I've gone too fast.  I had such terrible sxs from the very beginning because of fear.

 

I'm so scared of cutting..... but forcing myself to get back into life has only made me feel worse.  Will this be temporary.  I did not cut last night and I also did not sleep. Been awake since 3 am.

 

How do you get past the fear of cutting?

 

My husband thinks I should hold through the holidays.

 

I have to get a ton of bloodwork done today which is making me anxious

 

I know you can't tell me what to do.... but I will ALWAYS be afraid of cutting. I react so badly but on the other hand I feel miserable now......

Any thoughts?

 

❤️HS

 

 

I don't think I'm low enough to do liquid