The Long Hold Support Group

[[...]]

I need help....perhaps more help than you all can give me.  I updosed slightly after holding fir a month.  I'm a mess.  I didn't sleep last night and the dizziness is getting to be dangerous.  I don't know what my options are.  I have no life.  You all are holding but are all at much lower levels than I am.i think the Ativan is hurting me to stay on it....yet I'm having trouble getting off it.  I'm wondering if it's becoming paradoxical.  I don't have enough will power to do this.  I'm lost

A very common thought process, not to be dismissive, There is a logic to it that your brain is connecting the suffering to you taking the meds... (short version)

I have followed a few difficult cases through in my short time here, where they try "everything" (except stability, and a long hold) In the end nothing works and they are far too sick to taper, and I mean sick..!!

For those that dont CT,...

Time passes, 4,5,6 months, still not able to cut... but starting to feel better... some cut straight away again (with predictable results), some continue to hold, and slow/micro taper from there...

 

Remember the goal is to match medicine intake to where ones healing is at...

 

Good post cant..... Thanks ! I've been ruminating on this , and I think our brains get caught in "fight or flight" mode and maybe create symptoms all over the body from this ....from going too fast .

holding or dose correcting allows the brain to settle down , for our whole systems to get out of fear mode, and then we can reapproach a slow taper with hopefully less flight or flight triggers i.e. Symtoms that create fight or flight and fight or flight that creates symptoms ... And around and around we go .

 

I think I stole most of this theory  but I like putting it into my own words 

Yes, thats the psychological side of it, and its strong, the basal instinct that has us at the top of the food chain... Its just not so great when its twisted up and directed at our inner self...

-This is how my psychologist is approaching it... Not "fixing" me, -because its caused by the chemical imballance from tapering... But teaching me to recognise and "survive" the temporary trauma..

-Early days yet... a ways to go...

 

The physical side/response is trying everything in desperation (fight..??), no mater the logic or evidence to the contrary...  (and why wouldnt we)..

 

Cut too fast, Hold (a few weeks and feeling worse), small cautious updose (still feeling worse from original cuts), start cutting again (thinking its the meds)... Trips to the ER (rescue doses), Then a big updose (too late for fast results on top of the chaos) -Drs step in, or Detox/psych ward, CT...

Accute Hell, then reinstate at often much higher doses, perhaps without Drs support...

 

(This is just me putting together a mix n match of a few cases, -not a prediction)

 

And some find that in amoungst all the chaos, the chopping and changing, the sick and non functional... -That they have actually, unwittingly done a long hold... and are starting to feel a bit better... -They sure havnt saved any time in the process, And a realistic dose correction and hold for stability at the start of the problems may have been a little more pleasant...

 

But Pls read between the lines, This is only one aspect, there could be many other contributing factors as mentioned in a previous post... -other meds, original SX, etc...

 

Ummm... I think my main point here is that trying to save time can spiral out of control, -something I have come close to myself...

 

Yes , thanks Cant, that adds to the picture , the very real physical aspect to this , the changes that have occurred on a physical level that have to be reversed over time .

It would be great if some genius out there could really figure out why some people don't experience any WDs , and come up with a way to help those of us that do . Way oversimplified to say it's all psychological, which is where doctors tend to go because they can't understand either , and they're supposed to be "in the know".

I do believe one day medicine or science or ....? Will figure this out .... I bet some aliens already would know how to heal us ....c'mon, let's get radical here !

 

MiYu 👽

Or perhaps we're the aliens , or those that have no WDs are ? 

[[...]]

I need help....perhaps more help than you all can give me.  I updosed slightly after holding fir a month.  I'm a mess.  I didn't sleep last night and the dizziness is getting to be dangerous.  I don't know what my options are.  I have no life.  You all are holding but are all at much lower levels than I am.i think the Ativan is hurting me to stay on it....yet I'm having trouble getting off it.  I'm wondering if it's becoming paradoxical.  I don't have enough will power to do this.  I'm lost

A very common thought process, not to be dismissive, There is a logic to it that your brain is connecting the suffering to you taking the meds... (short version)

I have followed a few difficult cases through in my short time here, where they try "everything" (except stability, and a long hold) In the end nothing works and they are far too sick to taper, and I mean sick..!!

For those that dont CT,...

Time passes, 4,5,6 months, still not able to cut... but starting to feel better... some cut straight away again (with predictable results), some continue to hold, and slow/micro taper from there...

 

Remember the goal is to match medicine intake to where ones healing is at...

 

Good post cant..... Thanks ! I've been ruminating on this , and I think our brains get caught in "fight or flight" mode and maybe create symptoms all over the body from this ....from going too fast .

holding or dose correcting allows the brain to settle down , for our whole systems to get out of fear mode, and then we can reapproach a slow taper with hopefully less flight or flight triggers i.e. Symtoms that create fight or flight and fight or flight that creates symptoms ... And around and around we go .

 

I think I stole most of this theory  but I like putting it into my own words 

Yes, thats the psychological side of it, and its strong, the basal instinct that has us at the top of the food chain... Its just not so great when its twisted up and directed at our inner self...

-This is how my psychologist is approaching it... Not "fixing" me, -because its caused by the chemical imballance from tapering... But teaching me to recognise and "survive" the temporary trauma..

-Early days yet... a ways to go...

 

The physical side/response is trying everything in desperation (fight..??), no mater the logic or evidence to the contrary...  (and why wouldnt we)..

 

Cut too fast, Hold (a few weeks and feeling worse), small cautious updose (still feeling worse from original cuts), start cutting again (thinking its the meds)... Trips to the ER (rescue doses), Then a big updose (too late for fast results on top of the chaos) -Drs step in, or Detox/psych ward, CT...

Accute Hell, then reinstate at often much higher doses, perhaps without Drs support...

 

(This is just me putting together a mix n match of a few cases, -not a prediction)

 

And some find that in amoungst all the chaos, the chopping and changing, the sick and non functional... -That they have actually, unwittingly done a long hold... and are starting to feel a bit better... -They sure havnt saved any time in the process, And a realistic dose correction and hold for stability at the start of the problems may have been a little more pleasant...

 

But Pls read between the lines, This is only one aspect, there could be many other contributing factors as mentioned in a previous post... -other meds, original SX, etc...

 

Ummm... I think my main point here is that trying to save time can spiral out of control, -something I have come close to myself...

 

Yes , thanks Cant, that adds to the picture , the very real physical aspect to this , the changes that have occurred on a physical level that have to be reversed over time .

It would be great if some genius out there could really figure out why some people don't experience any WDs , and come up with a way to help those of us that do . Way oversimplified to say it's all psychological, which is where doctors tend to go because they can't understand either , and they're supposed to be "in the know".

I do believe one day medicine or science or ....? Will figure this out .... I bet some aliens already would know how to heal us ....c'mon, let's get radical here !

 

MiYu 👽

Or perhaps we're the aliens , or those that have no WDs are ? 

 

I have been off the computer because I, stupidly, went to a wedding. I say stupidly because I was in w/d from changing generics. I thought I would be ok but instead I've been super bad since I got home. Physical and mental symptoms are all pretty bad. Anyway I'm way behind, on page 1101, but I wanted to make a quick post. Then I ready this and found it fascinating and so accurate. I really do think that the constant need to find something to help ourselves feel better is the fight mode. I hadn't thought of it that way!

 

I forced myself to go to my appointments with my therapist and pdoc yesterday. The pdoc believes that I am in w/d from an unintentional cut due to the change in generics. He suggested an updose. I told him I preferred to wait it out and he said that was fine too. So now to keep holding. I asked him why some people don't have problems even when they are detoxed and others end up in years of agony from being detoxed. He told me that they have found that the receptors in the brains are different in both types of people. They aren't sure what to do with that information but I thought it was interesting. Now I want the receptors of the people that don't get w/d. Anyway we can do a change out? 

 

I have to admit I'm a little angry that this change has caused me to go back into w/d after finally feeling so good. I feel like I did a cut without doing a cut. I was planning on starting to taper again once I hit six months which would be the end of this month. Now I guess I will have to do the hard work of holding for awhile longer. I do appreciate the wonderful words of support from others telling me that holding will actually help me be able to taper and recover faster. All in good time, we will get there. Now to go back and try to catch up with everything that's been happening.

 

I love the squirrel pictures, they made me happy 

 

Hugs,

T

[[Va...]]

Hang in there MiYu! You're doing great listening to your body and not giving into the fear.

[[Va...]]

That's interesting about the receptors tntd.  I hope things turn around for you soon! --V

[[Va...]]

Has anyone heard from gard? --V

[[Se...]]

Has anyone heard from gard? --V

 

 

I was just wondering that too. I see she has just welcomed a new member.

 

Kinda miss her posts.   

[[...]]

Hang in there MiYu! You're doing great listening to your body and not giving into the fear.

 

Thanks V 

I'm really making it a "practice"it's pretty constant to not fight it but also not feed it either.

I am worried about side effects though . I know we don't talk about that much here ... I knwo these meds have side effects , I just wonder how seriously they effect some of us?

It's the one thing that makes me want to change to a different benzo . But I also don't think it would be wise to change , again , so many variables possible .

Anyway , keeping stress to a minimum during this process in whatever way we can is definitely important . I'm hoping to at least feel well enough that after a hold that, even with side effects , I'll be able to get around more and have more of a life .

 

MiYu 

[[...]]

Hi TNTD ,

I was wondering how you were ... I'm glad you posted . So sorry to hear about your generic med change , how frustrating .

I hope your body will adapt to it soon and that it won't cause any longer issues after you've accomplished so much with your hold .

I'm sure your brain is more stable from the hold at any rate .....

 

Keep us posted

MiYu 

 

And yes , so interesting about the receptors .... So they ARE Aliens then ! 

I bet it'd be possible to clone some of those receptors for us ! I wonder where science in the medical field is at with all this and whether they care or are interested in it  yet?

[[Su...]]

Hi TNTD,

Are there really people who get off these easily?  Not questioning you, just wonder about these mythical people.  I can find no sign of them online....

Or anywhere.  i think someone made that up to discourage us real humans!

 

I hope things settle for you soon with that switch to generic.....

SS

And yes that practice Miyu!  oh that practice...

 

In my measuring and counting liquid and mirt last night I FORGOT to take my .25 pill of xanax -- realized that when I started having such a panic attack around 3:30 this afternoon...  Checked in with Lynn and gobbled the thing up as soon as made sense.  Now I need to add a check box to my nightly journal

[[Va...]]

Hi TNTD,

Are there really people who get off these easily?  Not questioning you, just wonder about these mythical people.  I can find no sign of them online....

Or anywhere.  i think someone made that up to discourage us real humans!

 

I hope things settle for you soon with that switch to generic.....

SS

And yes that practice Miyu!  oh that practice...

 

In my measuring and counting liquid and mirt last night I FORGOT to take my .25 pill of xanax -- realized that when I started having such a panic attack around 3:30 this afternoon...  Checked in with Lynn and gobbled the thing up as soon as made sense.  Now I need to add a check box to my nightly journal

SS, I got off of xanax pretty easily the first time.  I had some insomnia and mania but had no idea it was related to withdrawal or that there even was a withdrawal from benzos and the sxs didn't prevent me from continuing to work and live life.  Not so lucky this time.  --V

[[Sh...]]

Hi TNTD,

Are there really people who get off these easily?  Not questioning you, just wonder about these mythical people.  I can find no sign of them online....

Or anywhere.  i think someone made that up to discourage us real humans!

 

I hope things settle for you soon with that switch to generic.....

SS

And yes that practice Miyu!  oh that practice...

 

In my measuring and counting liquid and mirt last night I FORGOT to take my .25 pill of xanax -- realized that when I started having such a panic attack around 3:30 this afternoon...  Checked in with Lynn and gobbled the thing up as soon as made sense.  Now I need to add a check box to my nightly journal

 

I took benzos on and off for about 4 years without ever noticing anything or even considering WD apart from some brain zaps where I thought 'shit that can't be good I must be withdrawing.' But they would always subside after a few days. It wasn't until 2015 when I took them every day for about 3 weeks that my body became dependent and so this hell began. Maybe I had also kindled from all the start/stop from the years before too...who knows.

[[He...]]

Hi TNTD,

Are there really people who get off these easily?  Not questioning you, just wonder about these mythical people.  I can find no sign of them online....

Or anywhere.  i think someone made that up to discourage us real humans!

 

I hope things settle for you soon with that switch to generic.....

SS

And yes that practice Miyu!  oh that practice...

 

In my measuring and counting liquid and mirt last night I FORGOT to take my .25 pill of xanax -- realized that when I started having such a panic attack around 3:30 this afternoon...  Checked in with Lynn and gobbled the thing up as soon as made sense.  Now I need to add a check box to my nightly journal

 

 

I think the people who get off these drugs easily probably weren't taking them long enough and STEADILY enough to really become dependent on them in the first place. That seems like a definite possiblity to me anyway.

 

Heath

[[Su...]]

I took benzos on and off for about 4 years without ever noticing anything or even considering WD apart from some brain zaps where I thought 'shit that can't be good I must be withdrawing.' But they would always subside after a few days. It wasn't until 2015 when I took them every day for about 3 weeks that my body became dependent and so this hell began. Maybe I had also kindled from all the start/stop from the years before too...who knows.

So it was easy to go back and forth for 3-4 years? Were you off for any significant time during that time?  Again I'm not questioning things just trying to add to my knowledge.....

Thanks Shamo

[[an...]]

Has anyone heard from gard? --V

 

Hi Valley,

 

Gard is doing well.  She is very busy at the moment with some personal issues--life.  At the moment she is unable to keep up with the forum due to time constraints.  I am sure she will post again as soon as things are resolved.

 

I hope you are doing well Valley.

 

Take care,

Anne  :smitten:

[[Ca...]]

I need help....perhaps more help than you all can give me.  I updosed slightly after holding fir a month.  I'm a mess.  I didn't sleep last night and the dizziness is getting to be dangerous.  I don't know what my options are.  I have no life.  You all are holding but are all at much lower levels than I am.i think the Ativan is hurting me to stay on it....yet I'm having trouble getting off it.  I'm wondering if it's becoming paradoxical.  I don't have enough will power to do this.  I'm lost

A very common thought process, not to be dismissive, There is a logic to it that your brain is connecting the suffering to you taking the meds... (short version)

I have followed a few difficult cases through in my short time here, where they try "everything" (except stability, and a long hold) In the end nothing works and they are far too sick to taper, and I mean sick..!!

For those that dont CT,...

Time passes, 4,5,6 months, still not able to cut... but starting to feel better... some cut straight away again (with predictable results), some continue to hold, and slow/micro taper from there...

 

Remember the goal is to match medicine intake to where ones healing is at...

 

Good post cant..... Thanks ! I've been ruminating on this , and I think our brains get caught in "fight or flight" mode and maybe create symptoms all over the body from this ....from going too fast .

holding or dose correcting allows the brain to settle down , for our whole systems to get out of fear mode, and then we can reapproach a slow taper with hopefully less flight or flight triggers i.e. Symtoms that create fight or flight and fight or flight that creates symptoms ... And around and around we go .

 

I think I stole most of this theory  but I like putting it into my own words 

Yes, thats the psychological side of it, and its strong, the basal instinct that has us at the top of the food chain... Its just not so great when its twisted up and directed at our inner self...

-This is how my psychologist is approaching it... Not "fixing" me, -because its caused by the chemical imballance from tapering... But teaching me to recognise and "survive" the temporary trauma..

-Early days yet... a ways to go...

 

The physical side/response is trying everything in desperation (fight..??), no mater the logic or evidence to the contrary...  (and why wouldnt we)..

 

Cut too fast, Hold (a few weeks and feeling worse), small cautious updose (still feeling worse from original cuts), start cutting again (thinking its the meds)... Trips to the ER (rescue doses), Then a big updose (too late for fast results on top of the chaos) -Drs step in, or Detox/psych ward, CT...

Accute Hell, then reinstate at often much higher doses, perhaps without Drs support...

 

(This is just me putting together a mix n match of a few cases, -not a prediction)

 

And some find that in amoungst all the chaos, the chopping and changing, the sick and non functional... -That they have actually, unwittingly done a long hold... and are starting to feel a bit better... -They sure havnt saved any time in the process, And a realistic dose correction and hold for stability at the start of the problems may have been a little more pleasant...

 

But Pls read between the lines, This is only one aspect, there could be many other contributing factors as mentioned in a previous post... -other meds, original SX, etc...

 

Ummm... I think my main point here is that trying to save time can spiral out of control, -something I have come close to myself...

 

Yes , thanks Cant, that adds to the picture , the very real physical aspect to this , the changes that have occurred on a physical level that have to be reversed over time .

It would be great if some genius out there could really figure out why some people don't experience any WDs , and come up with a way to help those of us that do . Way oversimplified to say it's all psychological, which is where doctors tend to go because they can't understand either , and they're supposed to be "in the know".

I do believe one day medicine or science or ....? Will figure this out .... I bet some aliens already would know how to heal us ....c'mon, let's get radical here !

 

MiYu 👽

Or perhaps we're the aliens , or those that have no WDs are ? 

lol -did you read my post on the planets thread..!!

I think we are getting close to working this out.. -Threads like the one I linked to will continue to expand over time... Though I would bet that the real solution ends up being the correct use of these medicines... -very short or singular use (hospital settings), or not at all...

-hmmm... sounds familiar... -what went wrong...!!

 

Hope everyone is surviving ok...

my Best to All...

 

-now I will catch up... lol

 

[[sl...]]

I took benzos on and off for about 4 years without ever noticing anything or even considering WD apart from some brain zaps where I thought 'shit that can't be good I must be withdrawing.' But they would always subside after a few days. It wasn't until 2015 when I took them every day for about 3 weeks that my body became dependent and so this hell began. Maybe I had also kindled from all the start/stop from the years before too...who knows.

So it was easy to go back and forth for 3-4 years? Were you off for any significant time during that time?  Again I'm not questioning things just trying to add to my knowledge.....

Thanks Shamo

Hi Suffering

Had to think about this and take my time.

I had actually forgotten that for the first year [out of 1 and a half years before deciding to taper off]  I also took half doses and often none at all of valium, and that was on the advice of my doctor.

 

For instance I never took them when on holiday and my holidays are 2 @ 4 weeks each between Jan and March plus one 8 week holiday in India, Nov and December - yeh i hate our winters 

I never noticed any withdrawals at all but I'm like Valley, it takes a good 4 weeks usually for any symptoms to show and of course I'm extremely relaxed on holiday, don't worry about sleeping and also drink wine, which is why it seemed best not to take any Valium or Nitrazepam.

 

But even  when at home I would miss doses out or halve them without any ill effects.

I don't have any answers I'm afraid of why this should be the case.

 

It was only when I started to take the full 10mg daily of V plus the 5 mg Nitraz every night that I became dependent [in my opinion] - took 6 months -ish.

I then started to feel ill and depressed so decided to come off them all.

 

Immediately I switched the Nitrazepam for equivalent valium I felt dreadful and held for between 6 or 7 months.

Then the rest is in my sig.

Found BB and started to realise my cuts had been too big or my crossover too quick.

Also that valium just doesn't suit me, it depresses me too much and doesn't help my sleep.

Had w/ds since starting to come off them, not helped by my doctor pushing me to withdraw very quickly.

 

I had probably started to have interdose w/ds which was possibly why I felt ill before deciding to come off them.[?] - not sure.

 

This may not be of any help to you but every little helps if you are trying to add to your knowledge 

 

 

[[st...]]

So I thought since I had only been on clonazepam for 1 month that I could could just quit...doc never told me about the possibility of becoming dependent.. found out the hard way.  So after an attempt at a rapid taper and constant w/d and suffering I come to accept that a fast taper is no longer an option...my life has been hell for a month now...unable to even drive my car at this point.

Another BB member gave me advice and told me to let my body decide the rate of taper not the calendar/goal...

So it looks like I really have little choice at this point...I have to get my life back and be able to function... I wonder how many other have tried to do a fast taper and finally accepted that regardless of the short time I have used Claonazepam {only about 45mgs total} that my body says I have to go much much slower ..

[[sl...]]

So I thought since I had only been on clonazepam for 1 month that I could could just quit...doc never told me about the possibility of becoming dependent.. found out the hard way.  So after an attempt at a rapid taper and constant w/d and suffering I come to accept that a fast taper is no longer an option...my life has been hell for a month now...unable to even drive my car at this point.

Another BB member gave me advice and told me to let my body decide the rate of taper not the calendar/goal...

So it looks like I really have little choice at this point...I have to get my life back and be able to function... I wonder how many other have tried to do a fast taper and finally accepted that regardless of the short time I have used Claonazepam {only about 45mgs total} that my body says I have to go much much slower ..

 

Hi stevozz

My doctor did warn me about becoming dependent which was why she said to miss or halve doses.

she doesn't believe there are withdrawal symptoms though.

Have had to just work out my own taper based on advice from this group, after going too fast at first like you did.

good luck 

You seem to have been unlucky after only taking them for a month.

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"Welcome stevozz" [/glow]You came to a good group for support . Best to you.

 

Hi Slowly good to read your posts, hope you are doing well.

 

Hi Cant, yes I read about the planets at 2am this morning, interesting read. Hope you are hanging in there "TB"

 

Hi Anne, always glad to read your posts, and I am thinking School is going to start again for you.

 

Hi MiYU, I always read each post you write, I am walking silently beside you always. Stay Strong.

 

And hello to all I forgot, oh yes Hi T good to have you post, sorry you are having a hard time. Stay Strong.

 

Everyone do what you can when you can, know you are not alone.

[[st...]]

Well my goal now is to stabilize and be grateful for all the great support here...at this low dose I'm not not concerned about additional damage to my brain...just hope my body catches up to this dose in the next day.  That would be a huge boost of hope that I am healing.

[[Va...]]

Has anyone heard from gard? --V

 

Hi Valley,

 

Gard is doing well.  She is very busy at the moment with some personal issues--life.  At the moment she is unable to keep up with the forum due to time constraints.  I am sure she will post again as soon as things are resolved.

 

I hope you are doing well Valley.

 

Take care,

Anne  :smitten:

Thanks Anne! Things are good on my end. Hope everything is going well for you. --V

[[sl...]]

Well my goal now is to stabilize and be grateful for all the great support here...at this low dose I'm not not concerned about additional damage to my brain...just hope my body catches up to this dose in the next day.  That would be a huge boost of hope that I am healing.

begood is right, stevozz

You came to the right group and you will get great help and support from here

Really hope you do improve quickly 

[[Va...]]

Well my goal now is to stabilize and be grateful for all the great support here...at this low dose I'm not not concerned about additional damage to my brain...just hope my body catches up to this dose in the next day.  That would be a huge boost of hope that I am healing.

Hi stevozz. We're glad our here and hope you will get the support and encouragement you need.  --V

[[Su...]]

I took benzos on and off for about 4 years without ever noticing anything or even considering WD apart from some brain zaps where I thought 'shit that can't be good I must be withdrawing.' But they would always subside after a few days. It wasn't until 2015 when I took them every day for about 3 weeks that my body became dependent and so this hell began. Maybe I had also kindled from all the start/stop from the years before too...who knows.

So it was easy to go back and forth for 3-4 years? Were you off for any significant time during that time?  Again I'm not questioning things just trying to add to my knowledge.....

Thanks Shamo

Hi Suffering

Had to think about this and take my time.

I had actually forgotten that for the first year [out of 1 and a half years before deciding to taper off]  I also took half doses and often none at all of valium, and that was on the advice of my doctor.

 

For instance I never took them when on holiday and my holidays are 2 @ 4 weeks each between Jan and March plus one 8 week holiday in India, Nov and December - yeh i hate our winters 

I never noticed any withdrawals at all but I'm like Valley, it takes a good 4 weeks usually for any symptoms to show and of course I'm extremely relaxed on holiday, don't worry about sleeping and also drink wine, which is why it seemed best not to take any Valium or Nitrazepam.

 

But even  when at home I would miss doses out or halve them without any ill effects.

I don't have any answers I'm afraid of why this should be the case.

 

It was only when I started to take the full 10mg daily of V plus the 5 mg Nitraz every night that I became dependent [in my opinion] - took 6 months -ish.

I then started to feel ill and depressed so decided to come off them all.

 

Immediately I switched the Nitrazepam for equivalent valium I felt dreadful and held for between 6 or 7 months.

Then the rest is in my sig.

Found BB and started to realise my cuts had been too big or my crossover too quick.

Also that valium just doesn't suit me, it depresses me too much and doesn't help my sleep.

Had w/ds since starting to come off them, not helped by my doctor pushing me to withdraw very quickly.

 

I had probably started to have interdose w/ds which was possibly why I felt ill before deciding to come off them.[?] - not sure.

 

This may not be of any help to you but every little helps if you are trying to add to your knowledge 

Hi Shamo!

that's a pretty detailed observation that you put together and I appreciate the time and effort that took! Many thanks   Amazing the advice that doctors still think is OK regarding benzos.  I think they are still ill informed - my doc didn't prescribe out of maliciousness but a lack of knowledge about the true danger of this stuff.

 

I too think that I was offered and took benzos -- ativan at one point off and on for a number of years.  I think I'm just putting it together that the extreme anxiety I felt at times -- usually about 4:00pm was interdose w/d.... I would head for a glass of wine and they would subside -- same receptors aren't they?

 

So not sure if I kindled myself at that time -- if kindling even exists - but for sure I have taken Xanax everyday for years so no surprise that I'm having such a tough time getting off.  I just couldn't imagine it would be this tough!  So it seems that the daily dose is what really does it.  The intermittent is crazy for sure -- but the daily is when the body doesn't have a chance to recover at all.....

 

Yesterday I realized that I had forgotten to take my pill portion, .25 of the Xanax, the night before -- what with measuring liquid, cutting mirtazapine etc.... Hellish until I realized what had gone on.    I took the missed some and immediately felt better although very sedated... I only took it at night ever.  Then I get that trapped feeling again... about the taper.  I'm pretty sure that the added Valium I have on board for the interdose w/d is what is causing my mood to be so low -- besides that fact that this is a grind for all of us!

 

But on we go with the support of BB, perseverance, and generous buddies telling their stories.  Many thanks  :smitten:

[[sl...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"Welcome stevozz" [/glow]You came to a good group for support . Best to you.

 

Hi Slowly good to read your posts, hope you are doing well.

 

Hi Cant, yes I read about the planets at 2am this morning, interesting read. Hope you are hanging in there "TB"

 

Hi Anne, always glad to read your posts, and I am thinking School is going to start again for you.

 

Hi MiYU, I always read each post you write, I am walking silently beside you always. Stay Strong.

 

And hello to all I forgot, oh yes Hi T good to have you post, sorry you are having a hard time. Stay Strong.

 

Everyone do what you can when you can, know you are not alone.

Hello begood 

Yes I'm doing well thank you, hope you are?

Hello Cant 

Love and healing to everyone.