The Long Hold Support Group

[[...]]

Rough day still , and no power yet.!  and it's too hot and that's making me more anxious ... Breath.....

 

Just feeling scared at the moment that holds won't work for me ..... I see people cutting so much faster and then recovering after a hold , and it makes me wonder if I should have cut more and ' tough it out'. Of course I'm thinking out loud as I'm doing the best I can and don't think I can tolerate any more than I am now . I just get scared that I won't find the stability , and that my taper will be interminable.

I know at this point I have to give more holding a try , I guess if it doesn't work next thing would be updosing , but that scares me too ! And am I getting side effects from the Valium ....? The questions of benzo brain...

Valium seems so unpredictable .....

 

I sometimes wonder if we can ' force' the body into a bit of a healing mode for a while , and then take time out ?

If I had made more progress , I'd dose correct  , at this point tho I just don't want to .

 

Looking for that illusive  stability .....where are yooouuu?

 

MiYu 

Hang in there Miyu... Every day is a day closer to the day it all changes... That is the first good day that tells you that it is possible to feel well again... From then on, you just have to remember that day... (if it were so easy..)

I do think you are close, and it will be a HUGE day here when you turn that corner... So many are wishing for that day to come...

As for shocking the body in to healing... You might remember me saying I thought I did that around Easter... Not sure its something I want to repeat...?? We have so much yet to learn...

 

Dont lose hope...

 

Thank you dear Cant.....I do believe a turning point has to come , yes, keep hope alive , what else can we do that is more useful than  that ? I do remember you saying you think you did some shock treatment! You are crazier than I 

 

Maybe one day we will find a way out of this that is benign for EVERYONE.......

 

Love, MiYu

[[...]]

Rough day still , and no power yet.!  and it's too hot and that's making me more anxious ... Breath.....

 

Just feeling scared at the moment that holds won't work for me ..... I see people cutting so much faster and then recovering after a hold , and it makes me wonder if I should have cut more and ' tough it out'. Of course I'm thinking out loud as I'm doing the best I can and don't think I can tolerate any more than I am now . I just get scared that I won't find the stability , and that my taper will be interminable.

I know at this point I have to give more holding a try , I guess if it doesn't work next thing would be updosing , but that scares me too ! And am I getting side effects from the Valium ....? The questions of benzo brain...

Valium seems so unpredictable .....

 

I sometimes wonder if we can ' force' the body into a bit of a healing mode for a while , and then take time out ?

If I had made more progress , I'd dose correct  , at this point tho I just don't want to .

 

Looking for that illusive  stability .....where are yooouuu?

 

MiYu 

Hang in there Miyu... Every day is a day closer to the day it all changes... That is the first good day that tells you that it is possible to feel well again... From then on, you just have to remember that day... (if it were so easy..)

I do think you are close, and it will be a HUGE day here when you turn that corner... So many are wishing for that day to come...

As for shocking the body in to healing... You might remember me saying I thought I did that around Easter... Not sure its something I want to repeat...?? We have so much yet to learn...

 

Dont lose hope...

MiYu thinking of you.[glow=red,2,300][glow=red,2,300] "Hugs"[/glow][/glow]

 

 

Thank you BG 

[[ca...]]

Miyu ~ Keep the faith no matter where you may find it ! I understand what your going thru it`s one hell of a ride but we all want off don`t we ! ~ CD

[[...]]

Hi Can do,

 

Great to hear from you, but knew you would surface when it was right for you... sorry to hear you are suffering... May it ease soon, and stability settle upon you...

 

Strength and healing..

Cant, thanks buddie just lots of physical pain, tests and some family tragedies in the last 6 weeks . I know you have more then your share of pain and sure hoping things are better as time goes on for you. Bro i been at this taper shit over 2 1/2 years  and worn the hell out ! If i could only catch a break and get a baseline i might be in a better place but up down all around damn ! Anyways thanks for replying i appreciate it !

 

hi Cando ....I hope things turn around fro you soon , I too need a break from this! And it is exhausting....I get burning pain all the time.

I'm sorry fro your family tragedies ..... :'(

 

Hang in there , this too shall pass ,

MiYu

[[...]]

Oh, kind of blippy this morning.

Nothing specific except...blah.

Wondering what the rest of the day will bring. Will it go away or is it the beginning of a sign to slow down? Time will tell.

 

Hope everyone has a good day.

 

Heath

 

Hugs Heath 

[[Ca...]]

Oh, kind of blippy this morning.

Nothing specific except...blah.

Wondering what the rest of the day will bring. Will it go away or is it the beginning of a sign to slow down? Time will tell.

 

Hope everyone has a good day.

 

Heath

 

Hugs Heath 

Hi Heath,

Trust your instincts and all the things you know... Trust In YOU...!!

Wishing a great day ahead for you, -make that years..!!

There are so many good times ahead of you... They are waiting, but closer every day...

Be well..

 

[[ca...]]

Popping in to say hi to ( everyone ) and wishing all a  ok day remember ok can be a blessing ! ~ CD @ Lynn , the other morning my GF called me to the kitchen looked out the window and there was a big ole buck deer eating apples 5 ft. from the house 

[[ly...]]

Popping in to say hi to ( everyone ) and wishing all a  ok day remember ok can be a blessing ! ~ CD @ Lynn , the other morning my GF called me to the kitchen looked out the window and there was a big ole buck deer eating apples 5 ft. from the house 

 

After finding out what the deer totem is all about - I really like it.

[[be...]]

Popping in to say hi to ( everyone ) and wishing all a  ok day remember ok can be a blessing ! ~ CD @ Lynn , the other morning my GF called me to the kitchen looked out the window and there was a big ole buck deer eating apples 5 ft. from the house 

 

After finding out what the deer totem is all about - I really like it.

I keep seeing pairs of squirrels playing and running up and down trees...

[[ly...]]

Popping in to say hi to ( everyone ) and wishing all a  ok day remember ok can be a blessing ! ~ CD @ Lynn , the other morning my GF called me to the kitchen looked out the window and there was a big ole buck deer eating apples 5 ft. from the house 

 

After finding out what the deer totem is all about - I really like it.

I keep seeing pairs of squirrels playing and running up and down trees...

 

Begood?  A little squirrely? :o

 

Best ask Can Do to interpret ASAP!

[[ca...]]

Squirrel ~ It is often a message for us to have more fun. Most likely we’ve been so busy taking life so seriously that we have forgotten that play is important too. On another note squirrel can also be signaling that we have to take a look at practical matters such as retirement, insurance, or even simple repairs. Are we adequately prepared?

A visit from Squirrel could also indicate that you need lighten your load of things that are unnecessary. Things that you have gathered in the past and may be cluttering your life such as thoughts, worries, and stresses. 

[[be...]]

Squirrel ~ It is often a message for us to have more fun. Most likely we’ve been so busy taking life so seriously that we have forgotten that play is important too. On another note squirrel can also be signaling that we have to take a look at practical matters such as retirement, insurance, or even simple repairs. Are we adequately prepared?

A visit from Squirrel could also indicate that you need lighten your load of things that are unnecessary. Things that you have gathered in the past and may be cluttering your life such as thoughts, worries, and stresses. 

Wow thanks so much, you have given me food for thought..I love to hear about this. Yep I am pretty serious, ummm and I am getting my affairs in order. Yep I have lots of dead wood around me...thanks a lot.

[[ca...]]

Squirrel ~ It is often a message for us to have more fun. Most likely we’ve been so busy taking life so seriously that we have forgotten that play is important too. On another note squirrel can also be signaling that we have to take a look at practical matters such as retirement, insurance, or even simple repairs. Are we adequately prepared?

A visit from Squirrel could also indicate that you need lighten your load of things that are unnecessary. Things that you have gathered in the past and may be cluttering your life such as thoughts, worries, and stresses. 

Wow thanks so much, you have given me food for thought..I love to hear about this. Yep I am pretty serious, ummm and I am getting my affairs in order. Yep I have lots of dead wood around me...thanks a lot.

Very Much Welcome 

 

[[Ca...]]

I missed half a page... please send me many squirrels..!!

 

 

[[Va...]]

Hi all.  I appreciate the well wishes from everyone.  The past couple of days were challenging but I made it through.  It appears the sxs have pretty much resolved as of yesterday and I can only assume that they were brought on by stress.  I had insomnia the first night in my motel which didn't help.  The drive home was long and tiring and I can feel the normal fatigue that accompanies it every time I have done it. 

 

Can do it's great to see you here and hope sxs resolve for you.

 

MiYu, I hope you are experiencing a turnaround and will be able to get where you want to be.

 

Hang in there Heath!

 

BG, Can't, Slowly, Healing, Lynn, gard and everyone else, I hope all is going well and everyone has a great day! --V

[[ga...]]

I missed half a page... please send me many squirrels..!!

 

[[ly...]]

Hi all.  I appreciate the well wishes from everyone.  The past couple of days were challenging but I made it through.  It appears the sxs have pretty much resolved as of yesterday and I can only assume that they were brought on by stress.  I had insomnia the first night in my motel which didn't help.  The drive home was long and tiring and I can feel the normal fatigue that accompanies it every time I have done it. 

 

Can do it's great to see you here and hope sxs resolve for you.

 

MiYu, I hope you are experiencing a turnaround and will be able to get where you want to be.

 

Hang in there Heath!

 

BG, Can't, Slowly, Healing, Lynn, gard and everyone else, I hope all is going well and everyone has a great day! --V

 

Hey V, glad you are feeling better.  There is no underestimating the role stress can play.  Then you add being tired...

 

What is your totem?  Have you been seeing any particular animal lately (other than cookie, et al)?  Can Do has brought some very interesting thoughts around concerning the meaning of these things.  I've become a believer.  It turns out BG is...well...PLAYFUL! :D

[[Va...]]

Hi all.  I appreciate the well wishes from everyone.  The past couple of days were challenging but I made it through.  It appears the sxs have pretty much resolved as of yesterday and I can only assume that they were brought on by stress.  I had insomnia the first night in my motel which didn't help.  The drive home was long and tiring and I can feel the normal fatigue that accompanies it every time I have done it. 

 

Can do it's great to see you here and hope sxs resolve for you.

 

MiYu, I hope you are experiencing a turnaround and will be able to get where you want to be.

 

Hang in there Heath!

 

BG, Can't, Slowly, Healing, Lynn, gard and everyone else, I hope all is going well and everyone has a great day! --V

 

Hey V, glad you are feeling better.  There is no underestimating the role stress can play.  Then you add being tired...

 

What is your totem?  Have you been seeing any particular animal lately (other than cookie, et al)?  Can Do has brought some very interesting thoughts around concerning the meaning of these things.  I've become a believer.  It turns out BG is...well...PLAYFUL! :D

Unfortunately I saw a Deer who had been hit by a car yesterday on the drive home.  I'm not sure what that means however I do see squirrels every day.  --V

[[He...]]

Hi.....miserable me again

 

I've been holding my dose for a month tomorrow.  I seem to be getting worse not better.

 

Because of my internal vibrating and nocturnal panic (2-3 times per night) and waking up this way....my stomach is in knots all day long.  I'm nauseous and dizzy.  My activity level has grinded to a halt.  I'm mostly housebound....not afraid to go out....just feel terrible.

 

Because of the taper and increased excitatory chemicals....I can never calm down.

 

I try to post on the withdrawal board but get very little answers.

 

I'm lost.  My doctors are frustrated....my family is frustrated....I am frustrated

 

Don't know how much longer I can go on like this.  Any thoughts would be appreciated

[[be...]]

Hi all.  I appreciate the well wishes from everyone.  The past couple of days were challenging but I made it through.  It appears the sxs have pretty much resolved as of yesterday and I can only assume that they were brought on by stress.  I had insomnia the first night in my motel which didn't help.  The drive home was long and tiring and I can feel the normal fatigue that accompanies it every time I have done it. 

 

Can do it's great to see you here and hope sxs resolve for you.

 

MiYu, I hope you are experiencing a turnaround and will be able to get where you want to be.

 

Hang in there Heath!

 

BG, Can't, Slowly, Healing, Lynn, gard and everyone else, I hope all is going well and everyone has a great day! --V

 

Hey V, glad you are feeling better.  There is no underestimating the role stress can play.  Then you add being tired...

 

What is your totem?  Have you been seeing any particular animal lately (other than cookie, et al)?  Can Do has brought some very interesting thoughts around concerning the meaning of these things.  I've become a believer.  It turns out BG is...well...PLAYFUL! :D

 

[[Va...]]

Hi.....miserable me again

 

I've been holding my dose for a month tomorrow.  I seem to be getting worse not better.

 

Because of my internal vibrating and nocturnal panic (2-3 times per night) and waking up this way....my stomach is in knots all day long.  I'm nauseous and dizzy.  My activity level has grinded to a halt.  I'm mostly housebound....not afraid to go out....just feel terrible.

 

Because of the taper and increased excitatory chemicals....I can never calm down.

 

I try to post on the withdrawal board but get very little answers.

 

I'm lost.  My doctors are frustrated....my family is frustrated....I am frustrated

 

Don't know how much longer I can go on like this.  Any thoughts would be appreciated

Hi Healing. Sorry you are continuing to suffer.  When I did my long hold, I didn't get any kind of window until about 6 weeks and it was very short lived. I believe if you hold on and give it some more time, things will settle for you.  Try to keep track of even the smallest improvements.  Sometimes it is hard to recognize them when in withdrawal.  Hang in there! --V

[[be...]]

I missed half a page... please send me many squirrels..!!

http://rs42.pbsrc.com/albums/e348/mishashinobe/8001051VzDF.gif~c200

[[ly...]]

Hi all.  I appreciate the well wishes from everyone.  The past couple of days were challenging but I made it through.  It appears the sxs have pretty much resolved as of yesterday and I can only assume that they were brought on by stress.  I had insomnia the first night in my motel which didn't help.  The drive home was long and tiring and I can feel the normal fatigue that accompanies it every time I have done it. 

 

Can do it's great to see you here and hope sxs resolve for you.

 

MiYu, I hope you are experiencing a turnaround and will be able to get where you want to be.

 

Hang in there Heath!

 

BG, Can't, Slowly, Healing, Lynn, gard and everyone else, I hope all is going well and everyone has a great day! --V

 

Hey V, glad you are feeling better.  There is no underestimating the role stress can play.  Then you add being tired...

 

What is your totem?  Have you been seeing any particular animal lately (other than cookie, et al)?  Can Do has brought some very interesting thoughts around concerning the meaning of these things.  I've become a believer.  It turns out BG is...well...PLAYFUL! :D

Unfortunately I saw a Deer who had been hit by a car yesterday on the drive home.  I'm not sure what that means however I do see squirrels every day.  --V

 

Oh dear,  a dead deer.   Don't know what to make of that one.

[[...]]

Hi.....miserable me again

 

I've been holding my dose for a month tomorrow.  I seem to be getting worse not better.

 

Because of my internal vibrating and nocturnal panic (2-3 times per night) and waking up this way....my stomach is in knots all day long.  I'm nauseous and dizzy.  My activity level has grinded to a halt.  I'm mostly housebound....not afraid to go out....just feel terrible.

 

Because of the taper and increased excitatory chemicals....I can never calm down.

 

I try to post on the withdrawal board but get very little answers.

 

I'm lost.  My doctors are frustrated....my family is frustrated....I am frustrated

 

Don't know how much longer I can go on like this.  Any thoughts would be appreciated

 

healing..... You are not alone .... I seem to be getting worse also , the last week has been very challenging ....it's over a month since I made a very small cut . I didn't expect to get worse this time .

I have had some times when things are ' better ' , but my better is not much! I'm grateful when I can go for a walk tho . Afternoons and waking up in the morning seem to be the worst times.... Do you get times of day that are worse for you , or better ?

I think for some of us WD is just super hard .... I know it's hard for most , but I think maybe genetically it's even harder for some .

And as valley said , A month is really not long at all to try and stabilize ....

 

Keep breathing , you will get through this , we all will ...

Love, MiYu 

[[...]]

I missed half a page... please send me many squirrels..!!

http://rs42.pbsrc.com/albums/e348/mishashinobe/8001051VzDF.gif~c200

 

Love this , send me some of THOSE squirrels 

 

Love the ones you posted too Gard 

 

I've been seeing dragon flies....and I have a family of humming birds outside my window, I've read about hummingbirds ,not sure about dragon flies tho .

I unfortunately  trod on a frog a few nights ago ... I don't know it had already been injured , it may have just been contemplating , poor thing .

Valley , maybe time to look fro a live deer ?

 

Love , MiYu

Oh , and a squawking blue jay that is very annoying !

 

By the way , does anyone know how to get around , when you reply to a post, being taken back to the Home page? It's a real nuisance .... If I want to respond to a post that's a few pages before the last page , I have to go back and find that page again and where I left off every time ....

I want to be able to reply without being taken to home page after posting ... Est ce possible?