The Long Hold Support Group

[[Le...]]

Kittybean,

 

I'm so glad you didn't have any problems when they changed yours. I have heard it depends on the brand, sounds like yours went the right way. The VA covers the brand of the generic with it own instruction label so I don't know what I'm getting. I've tried to peel the label back but it always seems to tear the original label too. I think I'll try again so I know exactly what to tell my pdoc.

 

Valley I love the meme. It made me laugh. You are awesome

 

Hugs,

T

T, you should be able to identify your generic using this site.

 

https://www.drugs.com/imprints.php

 

Thanks so much Left Behind now I don't have to try to pull the label off to figure out the manufacturer, it's Actavis. I've never heard of them but then I probably don't know many of the names of the groups that manufactur drugs. 

Hi T, Actavis is what I use. It's a solid generic alternative to the brand version of Valium. 

[[...]]

That's V for the encouraging emojis........

Less cortisol surges , less lead legs ,less depression , less hot flashes - Good signs .

 

Oh my goodness, so much to catch up on ! Pages are flying by .

Just a couple of things ..... I am it only afraid of showers, but water altogether , getting wet that is . I have a bathtub , and it soemtimes takes me a couple of weeks to get up the courage to get in it !

I have just bought myself one of those attachable show thi gets that you can wash your hair in the sink with ... I can go a couple of weeks with bird baths with a sponge , but not two weeks without washing my hair!

 

Is it Healing who's having a really hard time? I think so..... I wanted to say .... If you are anything like me , the cuts you made would have me in a really difficult place with WDs ....so yes , I am sure what you ar experiencing is WDs . I hope it settles down for you soon .

Just hold .....

I'm doing the same right now .

 

Thanks for the laughs people .... 

No more comments from me on kilts ...I think we've covered that one and our buddie is off now to Bonnie Scotland ,so maybe when she comes back we can go there again!  and revisit every so often ,

Kinda like the tolerance discussion thing , just part of the LHSG culture now , along with our animal entourage .

 

I've been thinking about Nova too , I hope she's ok . 

 

Thanks for your wisdom Gard .... I'm going to look up the book you mentioned . I do understand the primary and secondary thing .... Something we have to learn in WD , not to react to the pain . Not that I can all the time , but I've gotten better at it .

 

Hi to everyone ,

Love, MiYu 

 

Ps my 2 mg v tabs are MAY ... Some one else has those ... I've read mylan is one of the worst , but I started out on those and they didn't seem too bad . Maybe my switch was up rather than down in potency .

Hope Walmart doesn't change up on me , they say they just get whatever  they are sent

[[...]]

If anyone's interested ..... Teva pharmaceuticals seems to be an umbrella company for quite a few generic brands , companies that they've bought out . ( they are the biggest manufacturer in the world) Not sure how it effects quality , but I would think they would only have one ' recipe? ' for all of their generics , I'm not sure .....

 

Interestingly they tried to buy Mylan , but didn't ... They do own activas tho . And Mayn is an Australian company now that Teva sold .....

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teva_Pharmaceutical_Industries

 

Hope I'm not repeating anything that was in the other link on generics , I didn't actually check that out yet

 

MiYu

[[He...]]

MiYu,

I Just wanted to let you know  that you are one of the buddies here that I admire so very much. You are so strong. It is evident that you are having a particularly hard time, but you keep your cheerful side up and always put a bit if humor in your posts. It takes a very special person to keep on pushing ahead with so much adversity. All of us here are in the middle great benzo battles, and we all should be admired, and we are! But you my dear have a special place in my heart.  I hope you find some lasting relief with long and lasting Windows very soon.

 

I am sending ((((hugs))))) and blessings to you everyday even if I don't post that often.

 

Keep up the fight!

 

Heath :smitten:

[[sl...]]

If anyone's interested ..... Teva pharmaceuticals seems to be an umbrella company for quite a few generic brands , companies that they've bought out . ( they are the biggest manufacturer in the world) Not sure how it effects quality , but I would think they would only have one ' recipe? ' for all of their generics , I'm not sure .....

 

Interestingly they tried to buy Mylan , but didn't ... They do own activas tho . And Mayn is an Australian company now that Teva sold .....

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teva_Pharmaceutical_Industries

 

Hope I'm not repeating anything that was in the other link on generics , I didn't actually check that out yet

 

MiYu

That's interesting MiYu, thanks for the link.

Interesting because Actavis and Teva are the two brands that I prefer and I can't tell any difference between them, they both are equally ok for me.

There are two others which I've had [in uk]  Mylan and Crescent - they were both awful for me but are possibly ok for others.

Probably depends on what you are used to because it's the change which seems to cause problems for me.

I have only had Teva since I made a fuss at the doctors and at the pharmacy.

I'm off to the airport shortly but just looked in to say hope everyone keeps well, or as well as it's possible to be in w/d, while I'm away.

Love to all the LHG  :smitten: :hug:

[[be...]]

[move][glow=red,2,300]"BON VOYAGE" SLOWLY HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY AND KEEP WARM, HAVE THE BEST TIME EVER.

[[sl...]]

LOL thank you begood

I'm being driven to the airport, one of my daughters will be there to meet me and our flight takes about 45 minutes and we should be in Inverness by around 6.30pm

The other daughter and son in law are coming up a bit later, after an early finish from work.

So WHY am I nervous, not exactly panic but nervous?

I SOO despise myself for it.

BREATHE BREATHE BREATHE 

 

Feel so sorry for Healing, and sorry I can't suggest anything to help her.

 

 

[[be...]]

LOL thank you begood

I'm being driven to the airport, one of my daughters will be there to meet me and our flight takes about 45 minutes and we should be in Inverness by around 6.30pm

The other daughter and son in law are coming up a bit later, after an early finish from work.

So WHY am I nervous, not exactly panic but nervous?

I SOO despise myself for it.

BREATHE BREATHE BREATHE 

 

Feel so sorry for Healing, and sorry I can't suggest anything to help her.

Once you are in the air it will be fine, I am leaving you a little exercise below click on it. I think Healing will be OK once she Accepts the Process of Healing and she will have to do that herself. We will miss you. But have a wonderful time. And if you can sneak and see if there is anything...you know the kilt thing... :D

   

Breathe 💖 

[[He...]]

Should I be updosing the Ativan ?  I am not stabilizing and not functioning.  I see my family doctor this afternoon.  I'm kind of desperate right now.  I know you all don't know what to say to me and that I need to figure it out.....I just can't see the Forrest for the trees right now.

Thank you

[[Ca...]]

Should I be updosing the Ativan ?  I am not stabilizing and not functioning.  I see my family doctor this afternoon.  I'm kind of desperate right now.  I know you all don't know what to say to me and that I need to figure it out.....I just can't see the Forrest for the trees right now.

Thank you

Im bias... -I updose if im not happy, or my coffee is cold...

Possibly the best way is to look back at your history, say the last 3 months and best guess where you think you should be... Then decide if you want to correct the gap... I guess that takes practice and trial n error too...

Another option may be a one off rescue dose, -keep good records of the changes over time...

That will give you more info for future reference...

 

I dont see an obvious need to updose...  But thats kinda rediculous to say as we are all different...

Or I could say, you have cut 10 times what I have in the last 6 months...

So yeah, maybe too fast, but then how Quick do you recover..?

 

If you cant handle things how they are, and your not anti updose... It becomes a valid option...

 

Yup, that was me thinking out loud... at 2:30 am...

 

-I guess next is how much..??

Again im bias... -lots... or more, -enough...

 

[[...]]

MiYu,

I Just wanted to let you know  that you are one of the buddies here that I admire so very much. You are so strong. It is evident that you are having a particularly hard time, but you keep your cheerful side up and always put a bit if humor in your posts. It takes a very special person to keep on pushing ahead with so much adversity. All of us here are in the middle great benzo battles, and we all should be admired, and we are! But you my dear have a special place in my heart.  I hope you find some lasting relief with long and lasting Windows very soon.

 

I am sending ((((hugs))))) and blessings to you everyday even if I don't post that often.

 

Keep up the fight!

 

Heath :smitten:

 

You make me cry Heath you're so kind .....need those hugs today ... It's rough ... The burning is not letting up and I feel very shaky . Being woken up by my cat who had caught a mouse ,mother let it go and it went under my bed , 5 am this morning. . I have so much stuff under my bed I can't look for it ... So , I'll either have a rotting smell soon or I'll trip over a running mouse ...neither one is very inviting ! Then when I got up I found that the power is off for scheduled maintenance for the whole day!

Ugh ... Not the best of days ... Using my iPhone data , but I see the battery is going down fast so I'd better stop fro now .

You are a love Heathcliff , thank you  :smitten:

[[Se...]]

Should I be updosing the Ativan ?  I am not stabilizing and not functioning.  I see my family doctor this afternoon.  I'm kind of desperate right now.  I know you all don't know what to say to me and that I need to figure it out.....I just can't see the Forrest for the trees right now.

Thank you

 

 

Hi Healing,

Sorry your in such torment. I know the feeling well. I just wanted to add some perspective based on my taper. Perhaps this will help with what direction you need to take.

 

It looks like we both started our tapers at the same time. December last year. When I first started, I thought I'd do a conservative taper of 3 months. I started by dropping 1% every day. After all, I was only on .25mg of xanax a day. Day 25 I crashed and burned. Gave myself a couple of weeks and continued tapering after I started feeling a little better, but always felt as though I was getting farther and farther ahead of my healing curve. Long story short, By the end of May, I was seriously afraid I was going to have to quit work. I believe that my taper had greatly outpaced my healing curve. I was in bad shape. Horrific pain. Horrific mental anguish. Lynn suggested I take a spin over here in this group for awhile. I decided I needed to try a longer hold. Up till then I was holding maybe 3 weeks max. I noticed about 4 weeks into the hold that I started to get a little better and little better. Bad days were not as bad and good days were better. Small subtle changes. A couple of weeks after that, I actually had a day or two where I actually felt normal, or at least as normal as I have felt in the last couple of years. This week has been absolutely fantastic.  I am hoping that this is a preview of life after xanax which I firmly believe will be the case. I still have about 30% to go yet and it will be months before I am done, but I am a believer in the long hold now. It has given me a breather and hopefully the rest of the taper will be a little easier. I feel like my brain has finally caught up with my taper.

 

So how do you decide to Hold or Updose. If you can manage the torment and do not need to be functional for a job. I would try to continue a hold. The weird thing about this process is you never really know when relief is right around the corner. However if you cannot take the torment anymore and need an updose, then you need to do what you have to. No one is going to see you as failing in some way. Updosing is sometimes part of the process. You just keep going.  What always pops in my head is Colin's avatar. It shows a person hunched over putting one foot in front of the other, marching inexorably forward. I feel if you can allow your healing to finally catch up to your taper, you will have a sense of control over your taper finally. You will get better, you will heal, you will be successful. One of the common threads I have seen from reading thousands and thousands of posts, is that time will heal you. It is just a matter of time. Yea, it seems like an eternity when you are in this special benzo hell, but you will normalize. And there will come a time when you realize that you WILL get better. That I can tell you is a special day. It will come.

 

Make sure you write your success story before you leave the forum for good, for all those who will come after you.   

 

 

Best Wishes.

[[He...]]

Thank you for your response....how long did you hold???maybe I missed it.....I have benzo brain...I used to be quite smart....tell me about liquid...I was asking Builder about that today

 

Thank you for your kindness and telling me of your experience

[[Se...]]

Thank you for your response....how long did you hold???maybe I missed it.....I have benzo brain...I used to be quite smart....tell me about liquid...I was asking Builder about that today

 

Thank you for your kindness and telling me of your experience

 

 

My last cut was May 30th, so I have been holding about 2 -1/2 months.

 

Partly since I was on .25 mg Xanax daily, I decided to do a liquid taper. Currently the process goes like this. I take one .25mg Xanax tablet and place it in a jar. I add two (2) ml of polypropylene glycol in the jar with the .25mg Xanax tablet. In about 2-3 minutes, the tablet will have dissolved into a solution. I then add 200 ml of water, put the lid on and shake vigorously. I then pull 56ml of that mix into a syringe and put it in a smaller jar. I can make three (3) doses at a time currently.

 

The old you is still in there. Your "brain" will return. It's just a damn slow process to go through.

[[...]]

Rough day still , and no power yet.!  and it's too hot and that's making me more anxious ... Breath.....

 

Just feeling scared at the moment that holds won't work for me ..... I see people cutting so much faster and then recovering after a hold , and it makes me wonder if I should have cut more and ' tough it out'. Of course I'm thinking out loud as I'm doing the best I can and don't think I can tolerate any more than I am now . I just get scared that I won't find the stability , and that my taper will be interminable.

I know at this point I have to give more holding a try , I guess if it doesn't work next thing would be updosing , but that scares me too ! And am I getting side effects from the Valium ....? The questions of benzo brain...

Valium seems so unpredictable .....

 

I sometimes wonder if we can ' force' the body into a bit of a healing mode for a while , and then take time out ?

If I had made more progress , I'd dose correct  , at this point tho I just don't want to .

 

Looking for that illusive  stability .....where are yooouuu?

 

MiYu 

 

[[Va...]]

Rough day still , and no power yet.!  and it's too hot and that's making me more anxious ... Breath.....

 

Just feeling scared at the moment that holds won't work for me ..... I see people cutting so much faster and then recovering after a hold , and it makes me wonder if I should have cut more and ' tough it out'. Of course I'm thinking out loud as I'm doing the best I can and don't think I can tolerate any more than I am now . I just get scared that I won't find the stability , and that my taper will be interminable.

I know at this point I have to give more holding a try , I guess if it doesn't work next thing would be updosing , but that scares me too ! And am I getting side effects from the Valium ....? The questions of benzo brain...

Valium seems so unpredictable .....

 

I sometimes wonder if we can ' force' the body into a bit of a healing mode for a while , and then take time out ?

If I had made more progress , I'd dose correct  , at this point tho I just don't want to .

 

Looking for that illusive  stability .....where are yooouuu?

 

MiYu 

I'm so sorry MiYu.  I wish I could tell you what to do but unfortunately the hard and fast rules get thrown out the window in benzo withdrawal.  I hope given a little more time, things will improve.  Try to distract the best you can.  I forced myself to get out and about every day even in the worst of it and it really does help.  --V

[[Va...]]

I'm doing another class. Ugh! I'll never learn.  I will try to keep up as tomorrow is the last day and then I get to drive 4 hours to get home.  Just thought I'd update my situation so no one thinks I'm ghosting the thread lol.

 

Symptom wise, I have had an increase in tremors and feeling freezing cold even though it's 95 degrees out.  Just keeping it real.  Other than that the taper is going well. 

 

Hope everyone is doing well!  --V

[[ly...]]

 

 

Hey V, study hard and pay attention.   Sorry about the ramping - we've all been there. 

[[Va...]]

 

 

Hey V, study hard and pay attention.   Sorry about the ramping - we've all been there.

Thanks lynn!  --V

[[Ca...]]

Rough day still , and no power yet.!  and it's too hot and that's making me more anxious ... Breath.....

 

Just feeling scared at the moment that holds won't work for me ..... I see people cutting so much faster and then recovering after a hold , and it makes me wonder if I should have cut more and ' tough it out'. Of course I'm thinking out loud as I'm doing the best I can and don't think I can tolerate any more than I am now . I just get scared that I won't find the stability , and that my taper will be interminable.

I know at this point I have to give more holding a try , I guess if it doesn't work next thing would be updosing , but that scares me too ! And am I getting side effects from the Valium ....? The questions of benzo brain...

Valium seems so unpredictable .....

 

I sometimes wonder if we can ' force' the body into a bit of a healing mode for a while , and then take time out ?

If I had made more progress , I'd dose correct  , at this point tho I just don't want to .

 

Looking for that illusive  stability .....where are yooouuu?

 

MiYu 

Hang in there Miyu... Every day is a day closer to the day it all changes... That is the first good day that tells you that it is possible to feel well again... From then on, you just have to remember that day... (if it were so easy..)

I do think you are close, and it will be a HUGE day here when you turn that corner... So many are wishing for that day to come...

As for shocking the body in to healing... You might remember me saying I thought I did that around Easter... Not sure its something I want to repeat...?? We have so much yet to learn...

 

Dont lose hope...

 

 

[[Ca...]]

I am finding this thread interesting... But its a bit too sciencie for me to get more than the very basics out of... Its about the changes benzos do to our brains, introducing what may? be new concepts...

I just hope db123 can do a simple summery when its complete... The info might be of interest to those that have paticular trouble with WD..??

So for anyone with a science/biology background...

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=184940.0

 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

I'm doing another class. Ugh! I'll never learn.  I will try to keep up as tomorrow is the last day and then I get to drive 4 hours to get home.  Just thought I'd update my situation so no one thinks I'm ghosting the thread lol.

 

Symptom wise, I have had an increase in tremors and feeling freezing cold even though it's 95 degrees out.  Just keeping it real.  Other than that the taper is going well. 

 

Hope everyone is doing well!  --V

All the best... -Drive safe and feel better soon...

You do set a good example... Ever forwards...

 

[[Ba...]]

 

Is it me or do some threads go most recent to least recent, others, like this one, mosmt recent at the end??

 

Valley, you are cold all the time?  I am HOT all the time.  Between the 2 of us we'd be one normal person! 

 

Am thinking I will not cut further.  In fact, maybe try slightly higher dose (am now on a crumb of klonopin and about 4 mg valium).  Since my entire problem began with 6 weeks of mirtazapine, it is possible all this crap from that.  I assumed by now would be benzos, but I don't know that.

 

I may dare up the klon a tad see if I go back to what 'normal' was for me.  Which was the med was not working, but I did not have withdrawal symptoms at all.

 

Anyhow, a long long hold may be what I need.....

[[be...]]

Rough day still , and no power yet.!  and it's too hot and that's making me more anxious ... Breath.....

 

Just feeling scared at the moment that holds won't work for me ..... I see people cutting so much faster and then recovering after a hold , and it makes me wonder if I should have cut more and ' tough it out'. Of course I'm thinking out loud as I'm doing the best I can and don't think I can tolerate any more than I am now . I just get scared that I won't find the stability , and that my taper will be interminable.

I know at this point I have to give more holding a try , I guess if it doesn't work next thing would be updosing , but that scares me too ! And am I getting side effects from the Valium ....? The questions of benzo brain...

Valium seems so unpredictable .....

 

I sometimes wonder if we can ' force' the body into a bit of a healing mode for a while , and then take time out ?

If I had made more progress , I'd dose correct  , at this point tho I just don't want to .

 

Looking for that illusive  stability .....where are yooouuu?

 

MiYu 

Hang in there Miyu... Every day is a day closer to the day it all changes... That is the first good day that tells you that it is possible to feel well again... From then on, you just have to remember that day... (if it were so easy..)

I do think you are close, and it will be a HUGE day here when you turn that corner... So many are wishing for that day to come...

As for shocking the body in to healing... You might remember me saying I thought I did that around Easter... Not sure its something I want to repeat...?? We have so much yet to learn...

 

Dont lose hope...

MiYu thinking of you.[glow=red,2,300][glow=red,2,300] "Hugs"[/glow][/glow]

[[be...]]

 

Is it me or do some threads go most recent to least recent, others, like this one, mosmt recent at the end??

 

Valley, you are cold all the time?  I am HOT all the time.  Between the 2 of us we'd be one normal person! 

 

Am thinking I will not cut further.  In fact, maybe try slightly higher dose (am now on a crumb of klonopin and about 4 mg valium).  Since my entire problem began with 6 weeks of mirtazapine, it is possible all this crap from that.  I assumed by now would be benzos, but I don't know that.

 

I may dare up the klon a tad see if I go back to what 'normal' was for me.  Which was the med was not working, but I did not have withdrawal symptoms at all.

 

Anyhow, a long long hold may be what I need.....

[glow=red,2,300]"Welcome" [/glow]Barbara.