The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ca...]]

I guess bringing fried chicken would be frowned upon!!!

That would elivate your seating to right next to me... buddy, friend, pal... Yummo!!!

 

Though looking a Valleys swim suit...?? -we best be carefull about what goes in the BIG pot...!!

-the legs look good... -not sure about those wings...

 

[[He...]]

Be good,

Your posts never cease to just crack me Up!  Very funny!

Thanks for the laugh!

 

By the way, who paid for her dancing lessons?.

Her Daddy.

I taught her myself. 

 

 

 

It's not ballet!

It's not tap!

It's not jazz!

oh I get it, ITS THE CHICKEN DANCE! Or did a bee sting her in the rump?

Oh wait I'm know! She she has to "go" really bad and can't find the bathroom!

[[Th...]]

Hi group, I wish I was on more for all your help. I do try to read the previous posts so I don't ask a questions twice.

 

I'm in a scary place where I feel like I've damaged my brain so much with alcohol abuse and 3 tapers I will never stabilize. Almost 8 weeks holding I have no relief. The sxe are much worse some days and then more manageable the next. New ones are popping up and I'm so scared.

 

Has anyone ever feared this? Has anyone had long periods of sxe but are doing much better with the long hold ? I need some hope.

 

I need to regain some functionality or face loosing my savings because I can't work. I'm just worried about it so much because in over a year I've only had 1 2 minute window...it was a glorious 2 minutes.

 

Do you think this brief moment proves I'm still in this prison of a body.

 

Hi Third .... I'm sorry you are suffering 

I'm tapering Valium , but to me it looks like you've made a fairly big reduction recently if you are tapering K?

8 weeks is not that long of a hold.....I'm coming up on 8 months! ( with the exception of 1/4 mg reduction of Valium in the time , not much) . I'm by no means symptom free, and have been having waves of differing symptoms recently , it's disheartening , and my patience and faith is being very tested. But I HAVE had some improvements , even though I'm not stable yet. They are subtle , but I know I can get up each day and will be able to make myself food, usually manage a short drive, get to the grocery store if i have to, have some conversations without totally freaking out.

These things are becoming more and more possible, even in the midst of some still difficult symptoms .

So hang in there..... Stay in this group , and get all the support you need to make it through a difficult period.

MiYu

 

And yes! I do fear daily that I will never stabilize !  may we both get there soon ...... I read Gards post where she held for a year ( I didn't know that Gard) ...... Perhaps that's what it takes for some of us who are so highly sensitized ..... It would be SO good to feel stable ! 

 

Thank you, it's very encouraging as I'm holding 6 months so I'm really hoping I can a more normal holiday season and maybe even be able to open my small business for a couple months to make up for these months I'm not working.

[[ga...]]

Be good,

Your posts never cease to just crack me Up!  Very funny!

Thanks for the laugh!

 

By the way, who paid for her dancing lessons?.

Her Daddy.

I taught her myself. 

 

 

 

It's not ballet!

It's not tap!

It's not jazz!

oh I get it, ITS THE CHICKEN DANCE! Or did a bee sting her in the rump?

Oh wait I'm know! She she has to "go" really bad and can't find the bathroom!

:laugh:

[[Ca...]]

Hi group, I wish I was on more for all your help. I do try to read the previous posts so I don't ask a questions twice.

 

I'm in a scary place where I feel like I've damaged my brain so much with alcohol abuse and 3 tapers I will never stabilize. Almost 8 weeks holding I have no relief. The sxe are much worse some days and then more manageable the next. New ones are popping up and I'm so scared.

 

Has anyone ever feared this? Has anyone had long periods of sxe but are doing much better with the long hold ? I need some hope.

 

I need to regain some functionality or face loosing my savings because I can't work. I'm just worried about it so much because in over a year I've only had 1 2 minute window...it was a glorious 2 minutes.

 

Do you think this brief moment proves I'm still in this prison of a body.

 

Hi Third .... I'm sorry you are suffering 

I'm tapering Valium , but to me it looks like you've made a fairly big reduction recently if you are tapering K?

8 weeks is not that long of a hold.....I'm coming up on 8 months! ( with the exception of 1/4 mg reduction of Valium in the time , not much) . I'm by no means symptom free, and have been having waves of differing symptoms recently , it's disheartening , and my patience and faith is being very tested. But I HAVE had some improvements , even though I'm not stable yet. They are subtle , but I know I can get up each day and will be able to make myself food, usually manage a short drive, get to the grocery store if i have to, have some conversations without totally freaking out.

These things are becoming more and more possible, even in the midst of some still difficult symptoms .

So hang in there..... Stay in this group , and get all the support you need to make it through a difficult period.

MiYu

 

And yes! I do fear daily that I will never stabilize !  may we both get there soon ...... I read Gards post where she held for a year ( I didn't know that Gard) ...... Perhaps that's what it takes for some of us who are so highly sensitized ..... It would be SO good to feel stable ! 

 

Thank you, it's very encouraging as I'm holding 6 months so I'm really hoping I can a more normal holiday season and maybe even be able to open my small business for a couple months to make up for these months I'm not working.

Hey there Third..  Yes, -just focus on stable as the goal for now.. Thats will be the hard part done... -Then its just finding the right taper speed, to maintain that function...

Hang in there... -it Will get better...

 

 

[[ga...]]

I think the musicians have arrived and are practicing for the big Purr-ty!

Hope you don't mind a little noise, Cant.

Could be worse, they could be yowling singing!

http://catangel.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/music-cat-sm.jpg

[[ga...]]

Oops. Spoke too soon!

[[...]]

I appreciate the humor here 

 

However..... Agh..... My anxiety has amped up so much the last few days ... Can't figure it out. I've never really had anxiety like this since holding....

Is this just another wave ? I guess I have to wait it out and see..... Afraid it's going to continue.

Physically I'm doing better , and have a couple of good hours now each morning , but the anxiety ......horrible. It seems to come on mid morning and go through the the day .... Breathing......

Obviously the V is not cutting it relative to anti anxiety!

I'm really tired too in the afternoon......

 

Really hoping this this is another round of ' healing' , as in body trying to balance out.... Must be getting more glutamate . Don't really understand hey this would happen now .... 

 

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend , and if challenged , then coping well enough,

Love, MiYu

 

Anyone heard how ATU is doing? Haven't seem him in a while  here.....

[[ga...]]

Miyu, I'm so sorry you are in yet another wave. I'm sure it is another round of your brain trying to get stable. The random waves are typical. I think everyone has them during their holds. I certainly did, and with no relief for the first 4 months of the hold. Then the waves and windows pattern came just as though I was cutting, only I was holding. I think I held for most of a year before I felt stable enough to attempt regular cuts again.

 

Our brains have an amazing capacity to heal. Please be as gentle to yourself as you can be during this. You will heal, too.   

 

Gard

[[Al...]]

I appreciate the humor here 

 

However..... Agh..... My anxiety has amped up so much the last few days ... Can't figure it out. I've never really had anxiety like this since holding....

Is this just another wave ? I guess I have to wait it out and see..... Afraid it's going to continue.

Physically I'm doing better , and have a couple of good hours now each morning , but the anxiety ......horrible. It seems to come on mid morning and go through the the day .... Breathing......

Obviously the V is not cutting it relative to anti anxiety!

I'm really tired too in the afternoon......

 

Really hoping this this is another round of ' healing' , as in body trying to balance out.... Must be getting more glutamate . Don't really understand hey this would happen now .... 

 

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend , and if challenged , then coping well enough,

Love, MiYu

 

Anyone heard how ATU is doing? Haven't seem him in a while  here.....

 

Miyu,

 

I am still here. Have been like you kinda down not exactly in a wave but just in a bit of a mild depression.

I am functional still and go about my old person business rather well. I was stuck looking after my three grandkids Friday night and all Saturday,..that was hard, the noise the demands on my time etc. I love them to bits but being with them 24/7 alone it was hard. Also my allergies this year are real bad. When I am not in control of my time like that some mild anxiety tends to leak into my state.

I have to keep telling myself " resist nothing , accept everything and breath into peace and relaxation.

 

I got through it so today I was sort of having a rest day a me day! ☺️

 

I understand how you feel and Im sure it is just part of the mind making adjustments as it tries to find homeostasis . Mine too.

 

Stay strong and believe in the process, believe in the power of you.

 

Hugs:

 

ATU 🙏🏻

[[Ca...]]

Mornink All...

 

Hey Miyu, It does sound like things are shaking up a bit as healing happens...I would suggest to hold on to the beleifs that you knew to be true pre this upset.... easier said than done...

I know a couple of my SX got real cranky when good healing was happening, I could feel the healing, but my abdo muscles got the better of me, and I had to change tactics... (which i had known might be coming for a while, and was probably more accident related)...

Try to hang in there, I think you are on the way to better days...

 

Thinking of you and wishing you strength...

 

[[po...]]

I notice a lot of the recent posters have "daily micro taper" on their sig.  How much do you cut daily?  Per builder and others they do .02 or .05.  That would kill me!  I recently found someone who did .002 a day or .003.  and they had a smooth even taper all the way down.  I can't figure out how to measure that small yet but Im looking into this.  This might be the magic key....super ULTRA micro daily cuts.

 

Miyu  I had a good day today but I updosed 6 days ago so maybe its kicking in today.  I hope its not a window and really my updose working.  BUT I had what you described for 36 days unending HORRENDOUS anxiety from afternoon until bedtime.  There were days I broke down and just sobbed.  It's what drove me to finally updose.  I hope it lifts for you.  If you ever need to vent about it I know what that feels like.

[[Va...]]

I notice a lot of the recent posters have "daily micro taper" on their sig.  How much do you cut daily?  Per builder and others they do .02 or .05.  That would kill me!  I recently found someone who did .002 a day or .003.  and they had a smooth even taper all the way down.  I can't figure out how to measure that small yet but Im looking into this.  This might be the magic key....super ULTRA micro daily cuts.

 

Miyu  I had a good day today but I updosed 6 days ago so maybe its kicking in today.  I hope its not a window and really my updose working.  BUT I had what you described for 36 days unending HORRENDOUS anxiety from afternoon until bedtime.  There were days I broke down and just sobbed.  It's what drove me to finally updose.  I hope it lifts for you.  If you ever need to vent about it I know what that feels like.

Good news you had a good day!  When you get ready to cut, let us know. We can help you figure out how to cut that small.  --V

[[ga...]]

I notice a lot of the recent posters have "daily micro taper" on their sig.  How much do you cut daily?  Per builder and others they do .02 or .05.  That would kill me!  I recently found someone who did .002 a day or .003.  and they had a smooth even taper all the way down.  I can't figure out how to measure that small yet but Im looking into this.  This might be the magic key....super ULTRA micro daily cuts.

 

Miyu  I had a good day today but I updosed 6 days ago so maybe its kicking in today.  I hope its not a window and really my updose working.  BUT I had what you described for 36 days unending HORRENDOUS anxiety from afternoon until bedtime.  There were days I broke down and just sobbed.  It's what drove me to finally updose.  I hope it lifts for you.  If you ever need to vent about it I know what that feels like.

Good news you had a good day!  When you get ready to cut, let us know. We can help you figure out how to cut that small.  --V

 

Yup. And the secret may be to make your solution more dilute. You don't really know how big a cut a person is making if you don't know how dilute their solution is.

[[po...]]

gardener and valley

Yes this is what I need to figure out!  Hopefully someone can help me understand how much to dilute and what the ratio should be.  My brain is just not working.  I put the forks away today in the refrigerator!  LoL  so math isn't working so much for me right now.  I think builder is losing patience with me.  He was very helpful and explained how much to dilute to subtract .01 increments but not .001 increments. Several times  So if anyone does know how to do this let me know Ill give you my numbers I have.

[[Va...]]

gardener and valley

Yes this is what I need to figure out!  Hopefully someone can help me understand how much to dilute and what the ratio should be.  My brain is just not working.  I put the forks away today in the refrigerator!  LoL  so math isn't working so much for me right now.  I think builder is losing patience with me.  He was very helpful and explained how much to dilute to subtract .01 increments but not .001 increments. Several times  So if anyone does know how to do this let me know Ill give you my numbers I have.

Give us the numbers and we'll figure it out.  --V

[[ga...]]

gardener and valley

Yes this is what I need to figure out!  Hopefully someone can help me understand how much to dilute and what the ratio should be.  My brain is just not working.  I put the forks away today in the refrigerator!  LoL  so math isn't working so much for me right now.  I think builder is losing patience with me.  He was very helpful and explained how much to dilute to subtract .01 increments but not .001 increments. Several times  So if anyone does know how to do this let me know Ill give you my numbers I have.

 

Oh, I don't think builder is losing patience. You should have seen me pester him to death when I was crashed from my Xanax! That was years ago, there have been a parade of confused people since then pestering him, and nobody has scared him away yet!

 

As V said, when the time comes, you give the numbers and somebody will do the math for you. builder, V, jr, lots of math people on here. Just not me! 

 

[[He...]]

Oops. Spoke too soon!

 

(

:D ;D

[[ga...]]

Um, I seem to have landed somewhere, but no idea where.

Can somebody please send the rescue squad? ASAP!

Don't want to miss the party!

Just send them to the red arrow.

http://i3.dailypost.co.uk/incoming/article10771003.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/Balloon-Landing-2.jpg

[[ga...]]

To all my USA Buddies, I hope you are having a peaceful Memorial Day

complete with a window with a view of a better tomorrow.

 

http://airtightsidingandwindows.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Santa-Cruz-windows-replacement-products-services.jpg

 

 

http://www.5stardesigns.co.uk/5star/county/swapmeet19/SM19-253/1.jpg

[[ga...]]

And the same wish to all Buddies everywhere, a Window-ful Monday to you!

 

http://airtightsidingandwindows.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Santa-Cruz-windows-replacement-products-services.jpg

 

 

http://www.5stardesigns.co.uk/5star/county/swapmeet19/SM19-253/1.jpg

[[ca...]]

Gardener, Thank You and funny i was a Carpenter most of my life and can`t even count all the Windows i put in but sure wish i could put one or two big Bay Windows for Everyone here 

[[Va...]]

And the same wish to all Buddies everywhere, a Window-ful Monday to you!

 

http://airtightsidingandwindows.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Santa-Cruz-windows-replacement-products-services.jpg

 

 

http://www.5stardesigns.co.uk/5star/county/swapmeet19/SM19-253/1.jpg

:thumbsup:

[[He...]]

 

Love your Windows Gard! I'm looking through the one that shows me the beach, my favorite! But the garden and the country road have peaceful views for me as well. It's a beautiful life when you're feeling well and stable alright! May everyone have peace and healing today and tomorrow and always. And may the always start asap! But No rushing allowed! Just look out your window and know it will be there, waiting for you on that glorious day when YOU WILL JUMP OFF THE BENZO, HEALED, HEALTHY, AND FREE!!

 

Heath :thumbsup:

[[He...]]

I guess my brain is doing a lot of healing? Because all I want to do is sleep. I had insomnia like crazy for the first  6 to 8 months of my taper but now all I want to do is sleep. And I got 8 hours of sleep last night. Thank you god!

I'm going back to sleep now. Good night. And I am feeling perfectly normal and stable.

 

For those of you who are suffering, I've been in those horrible places too,   and I know that those places may come again, but for now, well I'm just enjoying the good time.  :thumbs up:

 

Please know and believe  that your healing WILL COME NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU FEEL NOW! It will get so much better if you just HOLD UNTIL YOU ARE STABLE NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES.

 

PEACE, HEALING, PATIENCE, STRENGTH, COURAGE TO ALL OF YOU.

IF LITTLE WIMPY ME CAN HOLD ON, YOU CAN TOO.! Love and many many thanks to all my mentors and supporters. I love you all.

HEATH

But not out of the woods yet, by far!