The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ca...]]

Hi All...!!

I would try for a memory test exercise... But it would be very hit n miss...

Nova, I cant forget... Drs and so called experts that only hear what suits their agenda... sure is enough to turn one inside out... -All I know is that im fairly sure I wouldnt want to be the one that pissed Nova off too much...!!

 

Nova, you have such strength, still helping others as much as you can, even when your own world is more than a challenge... I imagine you keep detailed records of those sorts of conversations, incase you need to set the record very clear, in the future... I well know the power of such records...

 

But I hope today is a fresh day, and all is at a much reduced stress level for you...

And the only noise is healing tapping at your window...

 

 

Apparently im "shipping" Gatorade to all that want some... Dont be greedy, it may have unwanted side effects... -but what doesnt??

-Even BGs Aged Wine is under suspicion if consumed by the barrel...

 

Hope, I think of "giving up" as Time out... perhaps even a little temper tantrum at the meds and situation... In theory it would involve a "Im not home" sign on the front gate, and a dark warm spot under my doona... -probably with my fone turned off... Trouble is I always get hungry in the end...

Any Dark thoughts I have, I now know are chemical from lack of medication in my system, ie. tapering... So they dont get to be entertained as valid thoughts...

-just benzo rubbish for me... -There was a time I didnt understand them so well. But finding BB soon clarified many things i was feeling for what they were...

 

Well, my memory is off the hook for now, Heath MiYu Valley, Third and Everyone... Be well...

My 14 yo just cooked the junkiest junk food dinner one can imagine...!!!

OMG!!

 

[[ly...]]

 

 

I've never been drug tested or asked to sign anything.  My pdoc has never had any hesitation in rx'g whatever and actually wanted me to stay on xanax.  I think I would be pretty indignant at a request for a urine test - well, I know I would. :tickedoff:  The only person to ever comment on the amount of meds I was taking was a PA at a CVS Minute Clinic.  Of course, this annoyed me in my "mellowed out" state while taking 8mgs of xanax per day :o  My GP never said a word about the meds.   Even after I started putting 2 and 2 together and telling her I thought my problems were side effects of the meds.  Not even a "maybe" from her.  I was on my own as pdoc just thought I needed more and added another AD - which I did not take and precipitated my c/t of everything that afternoon.  I'm so glad that I had that moment of clarity.

 

That said, I have about 3 or 4 yrs worth of xanax at my current dose.   Pdoc knew I was tapering but continued to rx the full amount.  Maybe I have 10 yrs worth?

[[be...]]

 

 

I've never been drug tested or asked to sign anything.  My pdoc has never had any hesitation in rx'g whatever and actually wanted me to stay on xanax.  I think I would be pretty indignant at a request for a urine test - well, I know I would. :tickedoff:  The only person to ever comment on the amount of meds I was taking was a PA at a CVS Minute Clinic.  Of course, this annoyed me in my "mellowed out" state while taking 8mgs of xanax per day :o  My GP never said a word about the meds.   Even after I started putting 2 and 2 together and telling her I thought my problems were side effects of the meds.  Not even a "maybe" from her.  I was on my own as pdoc just thought I needed more and added another AD - which I did not take and precipitated my c/t of everything that afternoon.  I'm so glad that I had that moment of clarity.

 

That said, I have about 3 or 4 yrs worth of xanax at my current dose.   Pdoc knew I was tapering but continued to rx the full amount.  Maybe I have 10 yrs worth?

Yes I was very mad underneath, but decided to just go with the flow, he was having the worst of it, I have read here on BB that some states are requesting pts to sign a contract, now I was surprised about the V, but it is in the class that is watched now in our state, I know when I pick it up at store, I have to sign for it...sign of the times, like I said when the Government gets involved it is then a crap shoot...my GP was an Angel compared to what I know my ENT would have been. I am not going to let it bother me, or I can get very mad indeed...

[[be...]]

Ummm Aged Wine....who wants a young on the vine bottle of Wine....

[[ly...]]

 

 

Pain in arms and fingers:

 

I had pain in my arms, wrists and shooting pain in my outer fingers.  I also had pain in soles of feet and shooting pain in my toes.  This happened during my taper and lasted a few months.  It's been gone for quite a while now.  I still have a vibrating in my feet and lower legs but it's not painful.

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300]“It’s your road, and yours alone, others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.”~ Rumi~[/glow]

 

[glow=red,2,300]Hi everyone, I am finished with my 10 day taper and holding for a month, or following my taper plan that includes not tapering for one month. now at 0.85mg and another milestone. But we all have had some sort of milestone while going through this long long time of learning what is best for us and then attempting to make it work, but we have to try and we do and then it is our choice to tweak our taper to fit our needs and we all know the  one will keep trying to derail us at every turn, but we are "Strong Warriors" and we do not break, we just get Stronger .

http://www.picgifs.com/glitter-gifs/t/turtle/picgifs-turtle-158236.gif

[glow=red,2,300]BG Having a Beach Day.... [/glow] 

 

 

[[ly...]]

 

 

Good going BG!   You've found your path! :smitten:

[[Ca...]]

Hi Lynn and BG Dearest...

 

Guess I have to put my hand up as a hoarder too... -not only is it a boy thing and growing up so far from shops n stuff... But after my accident my GP Dr suggested I keep filling my scripts for the insurance claim that would one day follow... -I wasnt paying for them anyway... so yeah, when we are flooded in here, everyone knows where to come for out of date meds... -we have a vet living over the hill and most things are for animals... Human meds get dropped in by chopper...

 

I dont do urines... all it would show is that some Drs Dropped the ball a long time ago...  I guess in that way im lucky, I will never be pushed off meds... But the down side is that some of my past Drs just thought DODs were an easy fix.. Still the risk with new specialists...

Infact, this is part the question for my Drs App tomorrow...

All I want is stable enough to function day to day to my physical capabilities...

 

I sure feel for all those that are under medicine supply threat, I had one Dr try to dictate my own chosen opiate taper... not sure where he ended up...?

-But in a different situation it could have been devistating...

 

Then to think that I chose to do my own CT... -Slap me!! ...-uttt, No BG, -tis a figure of speach...!!!

 

 

Congrats on 0.85 BG!!! -Those numbers are sure going down..!!

 

 

[[be...]]

Cant, interesting about the chopper dropping meds, sounds like you are in a very remote place. Nonetheless, sometimes we have to do what we must, my Doc was really embarrassed, so I just chose to keep my cool, I am wondering now if he was misinformed as this is new in our state, and it was maybe just narcs they are doing the contract for but I do recall it did say sometime about a certain class of drugs V being one of them, and I just got sucked in. No matter, when the fire alarm goes off in this 8 story building, I do not care about what I do or do not have on clothing wise, I head straight for my stash and then I pick up my billfold and leave. At one time I was carrying it around with me, but knew I could get robbed, in fact now I am thinking I need to find a better hiding place. But one day I will not be prisoner of thought and body with a  pill....and that is the best thing to remember. :smitten:

[[Ca...]]

Ummm Aged Wine....who wants a young on the vine bottle of Wine....

Oh, so its bottles not vats now..?

:)

 

I would strongly suspect that urines and contracts are as much about Drs insurance premiums as anything else... Afrer all, we already know that in most cases its about money over patients...

 

Probably why your Dr looked a little "sheepish" about asking a motivated patient  the unnecessary...

 

***

Not very remote where I live now...

But up a long valley in the mountains, so the road crosses the main creek a dozen times...

And there is a big dam that cuts off the main highway until they lower the level in stages to save towns way down river...

If I realy need I put a motorbike in the tractot bucket and can cross our creek, and ride through the mountains to another town... -But I dont smoke anymore... lol

 

[[no...]]

[glow=red,2,300]“It’s your road, and yours alone, others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.”~ Rumi~[/glow]

 

[glow=red,2,300]Hi everyone, I am finished with my 10 day taper and holding for a month, or following my taper plan that includes not tapering for one month. now at 0.85mg and another milestone. But we all have had some sort of milestone while going through this long long time of learning what is best for us and then attempting to make it work, but we have to try and we do and then it is our choice to tweak our taper to fit our needs and we all know the  one will keep trying to derail us at every turn, but we are "Strong Warriors" and we do not break, we just get Stronger .

http://www.picgifs.com/glitter-gifs/t/turtle/picgifs-turtle-158236.gif

[glow=red,2,300]BG Having a Beach Day.... [/glow]

yay!!!  good for you Sista'   

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[be...]]

Ummm Aged Wine....who wants a young on the vine bottle of Wine....

Oh, so its bottles not vats now..?

:)

 

I would strongly suspect that urines and contracts are as much about Drs insurance premiums as anything else... Afrer all, we already know that in most cases its about money over patients...

 

Probably why your Dr looked a little "sheepish" about asking a motivated patient  the unnecessary...

 

***

Not very remote where I live now...

But up a long valley in the mountains, so the road crosses the main creek a dozen times...

And there is a big dam that cuts off the main highway until they lower the level in stages to save towns way down river...

If I realy need I put a motorbike in the tractot bucket and can cross our creek, and ride through the mountains to another town... -But I dont smoke anymore... lol

Oh I did not want to sound greedy, yes many many vats of Sweet Aged Wino....

 

Yes I think much is motivated by Ins and of course the worse evil of all Money, many succumb, but money can not buy everything sure it helps, but in the end it is all about so many other things. Everything in big Phama seems to be Money related. 

 

You have a wonderul area to live in and secluded surrounded by so much real beauty from Mother Nature. Ummm a smoker...I can see you flying your motor bike down the Mountain, you will do it again, but sans the little helper....

[[no...]]

Cant, interesting about the chopper dropping meds, sounds like you are in a very remote place. Nonetheless, sometimes we have to do what we must, my Doc was really embarrassed, so I just chose to keep my cool, I am wondering now if he was misinformed as this is new in our state, and it was maybe just narcs they are doing the contract for but I do recall it did say sometime about a certain class of drugs V being one of them, and I just got sucked in. No matter, when the fire alarm goes off in this 8 story building, I do not care about what I do or do not have on clothing wise, I head straight for my stash and then I pick up my billfold and leave. At one time I was carrying it around with me, but knew I could get robbed, in fact now I am thinking I need to find a better hiding place. But one day I will not be prisoner of thought and body with a  pill....and that is the best thing to remember. :smitten:

I  AM ON TO YOU CF!!! Cats outta the bag now!!  CF is a Columbian drug Barron and its Cocaine that getting ''dropped off by Chopper in remote places''  and his real name is  CARLOS ALBERTO JUAN  ANDRES  DIEGO ALEJANDRO JAIRO LUIS FERNANDO (aka CF) ha!!!!!!! 

 

He and his Cartel were long considered among the world's most dangerous and most wanted men by US intelligence and the Vegemite developer Cyril Percy Callister from Melbourne, Victoria in ...Vegemite is a thick, very dark brown Australian food spread made from leftover brewers' yeast extract with various vegetable and spice additives. And much beloved by the people of Australia  :laugh:

 

 

                               

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[be...]]

Cant, interesting about the chopper dropping meds, sounds like you are in a very remote place. Nonetheless, sometimes we have to do what we must, my Doc was really embarrassed, so I just chose to keep my cool, I am wondering now if he was misinformed as this is new in our state, and it was maybe just narcs they are doing the contract for but I do recall it did say sometime about a certain class of drugs V being one of them, and I just got sucked in. No matter, when the fire alarm goes off in this 8 story building, I do not care about what I do or do not have on clothing wise, I head straight for my stash and then I pick up my billfold and leave. At one time I was carrying it around with me, but knew I could get robbed, in fact now I am thinking I need to find a better hiding place. But one day I will not be prisoner of thought and body with a  pill....and that is the best thing to remember. :smitten:

I  AM ON TO YOU CF!!! Cats outta the bag now!!  CF is a Columbian drug Barron and its Cocaine that getting ''dropped off by Chopper in remote places''  and his real name is  CARLOS ALBERTO JUAN  ANDRES  DIEGO ALEJANDRO JAIRO LUIS FERNANDO (aka CF) ha!!!!!!! 

 

He and his Cartel were long considered among the world's most dangerous and most wanted men by US intelligence and the Vegemite developer Cyril Percy Callister from Melbourne, Victoria in ...Vegemite is a thick, very dark brown Australian food spread made from leftover brewers' yeast extract with various vegetable and spice additives. And much beloved by the people of Australia  :laugh:

 

 

                               

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[glow=red,2,300]SISTA'[/glow] thanks for the revelation of who Cant is really behind that mask of avatar....I have heard of vegemite.... I thought Cant or should I say "Carlos' had some type of side monkey business going on....just saying....  

[[ly...]]

 

 

I'd like to live in a place so remote that it requires helicopter drops...

[[Ca...]]

Cant, interesting about the chopper dropping meds, sounds like you are in a very remote place. Nonetheless, sometimes we have to do what we must, my Doc was really embarrassed, so I just chose to keep my cool, I am wondering now if he was misinformed as this is new in our state, and it was maybe just narcs they are doing the contract for but I do recall it did say sometime about a certain class of drugs V being one of them, and I just got sucked in. No matter, when the fire alarm goes off in this 8 story building, I do not care about what I do or do not have on clothing wise, I head straight for my stash and then I pick up my billfold and leave. At one time I was carrying it around with me, but knew I could get robbed, in fact now I am thinking I need to find a better hiding place. But one day I will not be prisoner of thought and body with a  pill....and that is the best thing to remember. :smitten:

I  AM ON TO YOU CF!!! Cats outta the bag now!!  CF is a Columbian drug Barron and its Cocaine that getting ''dropped off by Chopper in remote places''  and his real name is  CARLOS ALBERTO JUAN  ANDRES  DIEGO ALEJANDRO JAIRO LUIS FERNANDO (aka CF) ha!!!!!!! 

 

He and his Cartel were long considered among the world's most dangerous and most wanted men by US intelligence and the Vegemite developer Cyril Percy Callister from Melbourne, Victoria in ...Vegemite is a thick, very dark brown Australian food spread made from leftover brewers' yeast extract with various vegetable and spice additives. And much beloved by the people of Australia  :laugh:

 

 

                               

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

lol, Silence cheeky Nova...  -If I ask your address... -Best give me the unit number above you!! ** mean face x 3

Hope you are doing ok... Thinking of you...

 

Ummm.. I think one will find that kraft vegimite is owned by America now... (and changed, i mite add)

 

Lynn, Its not that often these days, 2011 was a bad year though...

 

Where I grew up we had no TV and a mail plane to our airstrip once a week... and that was a 3hr drive.... -well, about 30min on a dirt bike...

 

[[ga...]]

Someone here asked if anyone had to submit to a urine test.

 

I went to a wonderful addiction specialist on two occasions about 8 months ago. I went seeking some kind of group that I could join for people who were on benzos. Ireally wanted a face to face , human, alive group.

This doc urine tested me on both occasions. It was required to be her patient. I didn't care because I had nothing to hide.

 

The thing that upset me was that, I had gone to her to seek information about joining a group for support.

She explained that the only groups they had were for people who were OFF their drugs. I think they were 12 step programs.  They urine test people at every meeting. So I could NOT join any group because I was still on my drug, Valium.

 

Well duh, if I was off the drug, I wouldn't need a support group to get off the drug.

 

So that was a waste of time alright, however, she was a very kind, knowledgeable doctor, only she COULDNT GIVE ME THE HELP I WAS SEEKING!

Seems there is just NO LIVE GROUPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED SUPPORT TO GET OFF BENZOS. AT LEAST I COULDNT FIND ONE!

I'm just so lucky to have found this forum! bravo!

 

Heath

 

Yes, the problem with these "addiction specialists" is their work is geared toward addicts, which we are not. We are physically dependent on a drug. It's not a psychological issue of craving or a pattern of drug seeking or any of those things they address with addicts. And, you are right, I have searched, too. There is no one and nothing for people like us except this sort of online support. NA and AA would let me in but I found they were not helpful. They were upsetting. Told me to go get detoxed and I would be so much better. Over and over. They are addicts, I am not. Online support is all there is for us. And I am so grateful we have it.

 

Gard

[[ga...]]

 

 

I've never been drug tested or asked to sign anything.  My pdoc has never had any hesitation in rx'g whatever and actually wanted me to stay on xanax.  I think I would be pretty indignant at a request for a urine test - well, I know I would. :tickedoff:  The only person to ever comment on the amount of meds I was taking was a PA at a CVS Minute Clinic.  Of course, this annoyed me in my "mellowed out" state while taking 8mgs of xanax per day :o  My GP never said a word about the meds.   Even after I started putting 2 and 2 together and telling her I thought my problems were side effects of the meds.  Not even a "maybe" from her.  I was on my own as pdoc just thought I needed more and added another AD - which I did not take and precipitated my c/t of everything that afternoon.  I'm so glad that I had that moment of clarity.

 

That said, I have about 3 or 4 yrs worth of xanax at my current dose.   Pdoc knew I was tapering but continued to rx the full amount.  Maybe I have 10 yrs worth?

 

OMG, 3 or 4 years? No worries about getting cut off during your taper. I'm jealous!!!

[[ga...]]

 

 

I've never been drug tested or asked to sign anything.  My pdoc has never had any hesitation in rx'g whatever and actually wanted me to stay on xanax.  I think I would be pretty indignant at a request for a urine test - well, I know I would. :tickedoff:  The only person to ever comment on the amount of meds I was taking was a PA at a CVS Minute Clinic.  Of course, this annoyed me in my "mellowed out" state while taking 8mgs of xanax per day :o  My GP never said a word about the meds.   Even after I started putting 2 and 2 together and telling her I thought my problems were side effects of the meds.  Not even a "maybe" from her.  I was on my own as pdoc just thought I needed more and added another AD - which I did not take and precipitated my c/t of everything that afternoon.  I'm so glad that I had that moment of clarity.

 

That said, I have about 3 or 4 yrs worth of xanax at my current dose.   Pdoc knew I was tapering but continued to rx the full amount.  Maybe I have 10 yrs worth?

Yes I was very mad underneath, but decided to just go with the flow, he was having the worst of it, I have read here on BB that some states are requesting pts to sign a contract, now I was surprised about the V, but it is in the class that is watched now in our state, I know when I pick it up at store, I have to sign for it...sign of the times, like I said when the Government gets involved it is then a crap shoot...my GP was an Angel compared to what I know my ENT would have been. I am not going to let it bother me, or I can get very mad indeed...

 

I have to sign, too, but so far no drug test. Do you know, can they tell you are lower on the drug than you say when they do the test? If so, I am doomed!

[[ga...]]

Cant, interesting about the chopper dropping meds, sounds like you are in a very remote place. Nonetheless, sometimes we have to do what we must, my Doc was really embarrassed, so I just chose to keep my cool, I am wondering now if he was misinformed as this is new in our state, and it was maybe just narcs they are doing the contract for but I do recall it did say sometime about a certain class of drugs V being one of them, and I just got sucked in. No matter, when the fire alarm goes off in this 8 story building, I do not care about what I do or do not have on clothing wise, I head straight for my stash and then I pick up my billfold and leave. At one time I was carrying it around with me, but knew I could get robbed, in fact now I am thinking I need to find a better hiding place. But one day I will not be prisoner of thought and body with a  pill....and that is the best thing to remember. :smitten:

 

:thumbsup:

 

My meds are in a firebox in an obscure place in a dry, temperature-controlled room. Everyone knows the box goes before anything else, even the laptops and the the documents file!

[[ga...]]

Ummm Aged Wine....who wants a young on the vine bottle of Wine....

Oh, so its bottles not vats now..?

:)

 

I would strongly suspect that urines and contracts are as much about Drs insurance premiums as anything else... Afrer all, we already know that in most cases its about money over patients...

 

Probably why your Dr looked a little "sheepish" about asking a motivated patient  the unnecessary...

 

***

Not very remote where I live now...

But up a long valley in the mountains, so the road crosses the main creek a dozen times...

And there is a big dam that cuts off the main highway until they lower the level in stages to save towns way down river...

If I realy need I put a motorbike in the tractot bucket and can cross our creek, and ride through the mountains to another town... -But I dont smoke anymore... lol

 

Man, I worry about you Cant! I'm glad you have your stash!

[[ga...]]

 

 

I'd like to live in a place so remote that it requires helicopter drops...

 

Alaska!

[[Th...]]

I ran out of meds once and never again and so I have a good hoard as well. What if the world as we know it ends and I don't rob a pharmacy in time 😂. I'm not going CT in an apocalypse. Jeeze only someone with extreme anxiety would think this. I didn't tell my Dr. I was tapering until I had at least an extra 6 week supply. Than out of being proud of myself I told her and she threw me down to my current dose. Should have lied longer.

[[Ca...]]

Ummm Aged Wine....who wants a young on the vine bottle of Wine....

Oh, so its bottles not vats now..?

:)

 

I would strongly suspect that urines and contracts are as much about Drs insurance premiums as anything else... Afrer all, we already know that in most cases its about money over patients...

 

Probably why your Dr looked a little "sheepish" about asking a motivated patient  the unnecessary...

 

***

Not very remote where I live now...

But up a long valley in the mountains, so the road crosses the main creek a dozen times...

And there is a big dam that cuts off the main highway until they lower the level in stages to save towns way down river...

If I realy need I put a motorbike in the tractot bucket and can cross our creek, and ride through the mountains to another town... -But I dont smoke anymore... lol

 

Man, I worry about you Cant! I'm glad you have your stash!

They do say im a worry...

It cost them an insane amount of money to distribute meds in 2011 floods, and cost lives, so those of us in designated areas are allowed 2weeks supply extra on controlled drugs, and a month or whatever on others... we just have to fill out a form to get the rebate on the extra...

 

But seriously, I would charter a chopper over a CT on Benzos... opiates, I could handle a few days of none, as i lived in slight WD anyway... -it just wasnt pretty...

 

I guess the moral of all this is we should all have a plan for the unexpected..

like when C14 broke his arms at a friends and I went in the ambulance with what I had, we were in hospital for a week, I had my V but ran out of pain meds in a strange city miles from home and no damn fone charger for an out of date iphone... and then I had to do my washing in a hospital gown...

-Just dont leave home without them...!!

 

Lol Third... -The bad habits they teach us...!!

 

[[ga...]]

I ran out of meds once and never again and so I have a good hoard as well. What if the world as we know it ends and I don't rob a pharmacy in time 😂. I'm not going CT in an apocalypse. Jeeze only someone with extreme anxiety would think this. I didn't tell my Dr. I was tapering until I had at least an extra 6 week supply. Than out of being proud of myself I told her and she threw me down to my current dose. Should have lied longer.

 

Agree with Cant, we all need a plan. And so does anyone else on a lifesaving med. (Perhaps Cant needs more of a plan than others! )

 

You're not irrational at all, third. But the "apocalypse" for us would be some kind of interruption in the pharmaceutical supply chain. I have found that a way to get a bit ahead is to fill a few days early. My insurance lets me fill 3 days before the end of my current supply. And then 3 days ahead of that supply. And so on....