The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ca...]]

Hi Heath... lunch time in Australia...

Thats the great thing about going slow..  we can put the brakes on things and work out whats what, so we often have to only deal with one or two things at a time.

And ant changes we try relate much more directly to the cause...

 

Hope those arm sensations subside, sounds a bit like my neck at times, perhaps..

and hou can do without day fatigue too... Thafs just the pits... I hope its an easy fix for you...

Drive safe...!!

[[Va...]]

Heath I get the day fatigue when I sleep well also. It's very strange. Hope the sxs you're having sivside soon.  --V

[[Va...]]

Hi Guys

 

Thank you for the birthday wishes Heath, MiYu, Gard, Cantfly, and BeGood. I was so happy that my agoraphobia was low enough to be able to go out. Not sure if all that overstimulation caused me to crash but crash I did. Yesterday wasn't too bad so I thought today might be better again but today has been horrid. I'm just glad that I'm at least getting some relief on occassion. Hoping it continues to get better as I continue to hold.

 

It's so great to read about the success of holding by so many people here. This group has been a great support for me and I hope that I can be as good a support for everyone here. I'm just not actually on the computer much recently. I think that might change come summer time when I'm home alone all day.

 

I love the picture of the snail pulling the turtle over. It's sooooo true too. When I first tried to taper I was cutting small amounts but it didn't matter. My brain was too fried to even do micro cuts. I'm so glad I found this amazing group 

 

You all rock. We will get there and hopefully holding will put us in a place where when we taper we are still functional so it won't matter how long it takes.

 

Hugs and healing everyone,

 

T

Glad you're getting relief once in a while. Hope you start to get some consistency and stabilize completely very soon.  --V

[[...]]

 

 

HI Gard , I'm sorry you had to deal with some hard relationship stuff , but glad you are home now.

Yes , it's really hard to figure the catch up time with long acting meds. I can't figure it out either with Valium . But that doesn't even apply to me just yet as I can't taper !

When I do I will start out very slowly as you are doing and wait to see . I know I have had bad WDs from really small cuts catch up with me , even now I seem to be getting WDs from , who knows when, but that also might be just plain old instability .

 

I had a better day today after a really diifcult week.......it's really true that that can happen. I don't feel ' well' but I was able to be active more and do some things , other than just cope with horrid symptoms . Hoping it will be the start of my kind of ' window'!

 

Good going on tapering ..... I know what you mean , I'll be retired too at this rate by the time on off, I don't care if I can have a life in the meantime ......

 

Love , MiYu  :smitten:

 

Wow, that's very good news, Miyu! I'm so happy for you! Life needs to be more than coping with horrid symptoms. That's what holds are supposed to do for us. Hoping your BIG window is right around the corner. :smitten:

 

Thank you Gard.....( and everyone  ) .so weird how I had energy yesterday ( not symptom free , but energy ,like I didn't have to measure everything I did , I just did it ) , and today was harder again.

After being a sloth for such a long time , the ' I'll never stabilize and I'll always have symptoms  and I'll never be able to taper etc " thoughts just creep back in , how could they not really. You know, the , I'm uniquely f**ed type thoughts ! Not so much because of having to be so slow, it's the feeling horrible that makes it hard.

Anyway , one day at a time , waiting for my BIG window .

At least I've been able to get out more , I'm grateful for that . And you know , I'm always open to miracles, they happen !

 

Love to all,

MiYu  :smitten:

 

Thanks for the great cartoon CT 

 

 

[[He...]]

Thanks for the support V and Cantfly.

Yes , it's true about going slow. At least I am able to stop right in my tracks and I am pretty sure it was the last cut that caused getting wdsx. I didn't have any until yesterday, on the

10th day of my cut. So I guess I'll just ride it out. Just hope it doesn't get any worse before it gets better. Day 12 is usually when I get wdsx...so I have about 2 or 3 more days of waiting  to see what happens  by day 12. But whatever happens I'll hold longer, of course.

 

Heath  :smitten:

[[no...]]

 

 

HI Gard , I'm sorry you had to deal with some hard relationship stuff , but glad you are home now.

Yes , it's really hard to figure the catch up time with long acting meds. I can't figure it out either with Valium . But that doesn't even apply to me just yet as I can't taper !

When I do I will start out very slowly as you are doing and wait to see . I know I have had bad WDs from really small cuts catch up with me , even now I seem to be getting WDs from , who knows when, but that also might be just plain old instability .

 

I had a better day today after a really diifcult week.......it's really true that that can happen. I don't feel ' well' but I was able to be active more and do some things , other than just cope with horrid symptoms . Hoping it will be the start of my kind of ' window'!

 

Good going on tapering ..... I know what you mean , I'll be retired too at this rate by the time on off, I don't care if I can have a life in the meantime ......

 

Love , MiYu  :smitten:

 

Wow, that's very good news, Miyu! I'm so happy for you! Life needs to be more than coping with horrid symptoms. That's what holds are supposed to do for us. Hoping your BIG window is right around the corner. :smitten:

 

Thank you Gard.....( and everyone  ) .so weird how I had energy yesterday ( not symptom free , but energy ,like I didn't have to measure everything I did , I just did it ) , and today was harder again.

After being a sloth for such a long time , the ' I'll never stabilize and I'll always have symptoms  and I'll never be able to taper etc " thoughts just creep back in , how could they not really. You know, the , I'm uniquely f**ed type thoughts ! Not so much because of having to be so slow, it's the feeling horrible that makes it hard.

Anyway , one day at a time , waiting for my BIG window .

At least I've been able to get out more , I'm grateful for that . And you know , I'm always open to miracles, they happen !

 

Love to all,

MiYu  :smitten:

 

Thanks for the great cartoon CT 

 

I'll never stabilize and I'll always have symptoms  and I'll never be able to taper etc " thoughts just creep back in , how could they not really. You know, the , I'm uniquely f**ed type thoughts ! Not so much because of having to be so slow, it's the feeling horrible that makes it hard.

  Hi M , we must be 'Astral twins'' I could have written the above word for word then even worse than that, I to am worn down,worn out and can't see there ever being an end too it ever.....again These last few weeks have been awful lots if added stress on top but if I was more stable then things wouldn't be so bad at all, bloody  feeling lethargic, apathetic and Anhedonia  kicked in again revv up in symptoms it always makes you forget you did feel a bit better here and there. But now its back to feeling like we're trapped in forever land that's the nature of this crap i see it all the time on this forum whether people are on or off this poison.

 

And here's the other thing we never had this until we tried to get OFF the drug, things got worse with cuts, so it not the drug or holding the drug when you look at it for what it really is its ongoing withdrawal. And even with my updose that's what's happing its still withdrawing from all the cuts that fkd me up 2 years ago yet I still kept cutting and didn't hold long enough for anything to stabilise properly, and maybe I probably needed to updose more than I did possibly by a lot more than I did but no matter if you go up or down your giving your CNS more to deal with at the same time.

 

The hold won't hurt us, if if wasn't for the fact I got problems with my neighbour I would have held at the lower dose for however long it took but I was too afraid to do so being in the mess I was in and also having problems with kids that live here at the same time, and I feared I would have  break down and get locked up in a mental hospital misdiagnosed once again and more drugs forced on me?  But that being said I updose while under stress in the past and stabilised after holding long enough for it to work it just wasn't stress where I lived it was peaceful here then. But even so on a day when I feel a bit beter the it doesn't bother  me to the point of constant worry and fear its more bearable.Its when  I'm like this everything feels like the absolute end  Hope everyone feels a lot better soon

 

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[Ca...]]

Hey Nova

Wishing you a top up of strength n energy...

Sorry your home is less than peaceful, the odd crow is my worst enemy..

So right about how we forget the good times, my good day a few days ago is but a distant memory..

 

The time it takes for a prior cut or big change to run its course can be so long that to actually voice it would sound crazy... -sure, the most of it might be over in weeks... but im sure some aspects wander into the many months...  not that im telling you things you dont know, but im just affirming that I feel it also...

Hope you feel the Freshness of change very soon...

 

My best to ALL...

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"Sista'"[/glow] I think we need to get all of us together and meet at your Apt and take care of the Crow, we are Strong and we can put the crow in a cage and send him way far away, lets get that Plane ready.... :muscle:

[[no...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"Sista'"[/glow] I think we need to get all of us together and meet at your Apt and take care of the Crow, we are Strong and we can put the crow in a cage and send him way far away, lets get that Plane ready.... :muscle:

Hey Nova

Wishing you a top up of strength n energy...

Sorry your home is less than peaceful, the odd crow is my worst enemy..

So right about how we forget the good times, my good day a few days ago is but a distant memory..

 

The time it takes for a prior cut or big change to run its course can be so long that to actually voice it would sound crazy... -sure, the most of it might be over in weeks... but im sure some aspects wander into the many months...  not that im telling you things you dont know, but im just affirming that I feel it also...

Hope you feel the Freshness of change very soon...

 

My best to ALL...

Aww bless you sweetie and thank you  I have woodland to the rear of me and the wood pigeons  cooing sound as if their saying obscenities directly to me to me that's how fkd up my poor brain is,  I know their not logically but my brain hears different where its corrupted But other stuff I can't rationalise for instance certain sounds are they outside of me or in my head? 

 

What I call tinnitus is actually noise coming from my brain, I can feel and hear it, for a couple of days I had a symptoms that I last had 2 year's ago when my big crash came, and couldn't understand what was being said on the TV at all. As if they were talking in  another planets language, it also took a while to compute that's what was wrong.

 

I'll tell you what I'll swap you the bush and the crows, or I'll come and rent a room off you, its making me feel homicidal with the neighbour. And he wakes me up early hours of the morning slamming the front door shut when he comes in and the sound proofing or lack of it is crap plus my bedroom wall is right where his front door is.

 

Who ever designed these flats wants bloody shooting  And besides that it snot proper sleep its very light sleep ambient sounds that are quieter bother me like hell at night as well even with ear plugs in, and the ear plugs also bother me I HATE wearing them as I can hear them moving in my ears and my heart beat and muscles moving when i move banging in my brains AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D ......

 

I wish I could scream for real but even my own voice talking quietly hurts my ears with the sound sensitivity, I would feel so MUCH better if I could do that or punch some pillows( or the neighbour ) really hard without feeling critically damaged for life

 

Love Nova xxx    :smitten:

[[no...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"Sista'"[/glow] I think we need to get all of us together and meet at your Apt and take care of the Crow, we are Strong and we can put the crow in a cage and send him way far away, lets get that Plane ready.... :muscle:

Hi Sista'  OPPS! I do not know HOW your post ended up on my last post at all I see you also need to go punch something or tap someone on the head with that baseball bat

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

[[Ca...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"Sista'"[/glow] I think we need to get all of us together and meet at your Apt and take care of the Crow, we are Strong and we can put the crow in a cage and send him way far away, lets get that Plane ready.... :muscle:

Hi Sista'  OPPS! I do not know HOW your post ended up on my last post at all I see you also need to go punch something or tap someone on the head with that baseball bat

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

BG was just trying to hitch a ride to the Bush... sneaky like that... :)

 

-crows, pigeons... -neighbours... -same fix...

Or cooking oil, -top step...

 

Hell, u can All move here.. -we can start a dysfunctional tapering commune... with style...

 

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"Sista'"[/glow] I think we need to get all of us together and meet at your Apt and take care of the Crow, we are Strong and we can put the crow in a cage and send him way far away, lets get that Plane ready.... :muscle:

Hi Sista'  OPPS! I do not know HOW your post ended up on my last post at all I see you also need to go punch something or tap someone on the head with that baseball bat

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

BG was just trying to hitch a ride to the Bush... sneaky like that... :)

 

-crows, pigeons... -neighbours... -same fix...

Or cooking oil, -top step...

 

Hell, u can All move here.. -we can start a dysfunctional tapering commune... with style...

:D

[[no...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"Sista'"[/glow] I think we need to get all of us together and meet at your Apt and take care of the Crow, we are Strong and we can put the crow in a cage and send him way far away, lets get that Plane ready.... :muscle:

Hi Sista'  OPPS! I do not know HOW your post ended up on my last post at all I see you also need to go punch something or tap someone on the head with that baseball bat

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

BG was just trying to hitch a ride to the Bush... sneaky like that... :)

 

-crows, pigeons... -neighbours... -same fix...

Or cooking oil, -top step...

 

Hell, u can All move here.. -we can start a dysfunctional tapering commune... with style...

:laugh:

[[Th...]]

Glad to see you here too Can't Fly. Yes I'm very much trying to find my way and make some progress. I think for me progress means doing less and not beating up on myself over it. It is going to be hard for me to be patient as I want to hold till January. Wow this is a long thread! Hope to have more energy to read everyone's posts and get to know you all. Hope you are doing well. Not so great here. My allergies are giving me throat drop landing right on my gag reflex 🤢. The drought is making it much worse.

[[Ca...]]

Glad to see you here too Can't Fly. Yes I'm very much trying to find my way and make some progress. I think for me progress means doing less and not beating up on myself over it. It is going to be hard for me to be patient as I want to hold till January. Wow this is a long thread! Hope to have more energy to read everyone's posts and get to know you all. Hope you are doing well. Not so great here. My allergies are giving me throat drop landing right on my gag reflex 🤢. The drought is making it much worse.

Hey there Third... you will get used to it... -if not sure about something, just sing out...

-like when I say... -I think you will be named a "sloth" if you are planning on holding to January... But we will see, best you decide your own animal in time... -Infact the zoo has been a bit quiet of late...

thus far (that I Know of) we have the wise chicken Valley, some sloths, snails?, Im sure Nova said she was a slug one day, and us turtles... one is confused and thinks she is a mermaid too??... -did i miss anyone??

Anyways dont stress on that...

 

January is a long way away, you may feel much better before then, I sure hope so... But I know you will learn good concepts from these guys, that will last well beyond your taper......

Hope u feel better, and get some rain soon...

My best wishes...

[[be...]]

Some turtles are just too funny....

[[Ca...]]

Some turtles are just too funny....

well only a confused turtle is forever chasing chickens... !!!

Personaly, Im all for the mermaid... its the sea man in me...

 

[[be...]]

Some turtles are just too funny....

well only a confused turtle is forever chasing chickens... !!!

Personaly, Im all for the mermaid... its the sea man in me...

 

[[Va...]]

Glad to see you here too Can't Fly. Yes I'm very much trying to find my way and make some progress. I think for me progress means doing less and not beating up on myself over it. It is going to be hard for me to be patient as I want to hold till January. Wow this is a long thread! Hope to have more energy to read everyone's posts and get to know you all. Hope you are doing well. Not so great here. My allergies are giving me throat drop landing right on my gag reflex 🤢. The drought is making it much worse.

Hey there Third... you will get used to it... -if not sure about something, just sing out...

-like when I say... -I think you will be named a "sloth" if you are planning on holding to January... But we will see, best you decide your own animal in time... -Infact the zoo has been a bit quiet of late...

thus far (that I Know of) we have the wise chicken Valley, some sloths, snails?, Im sure Nova said she was a slug one day, and us turtles... one is confused and thinks she is a mermaid too??... -did i miss anyone??

Anyways dont stress on that...

 

January is a long way away, you may feel much better before then, I sure hope so... But I know you will learn good concepts from these guys, that will last well beyond your taper......

Hope u feel better, and get some rain soon...

My best wishes...

I think you correctly named all the critters on this thread lol. At least until another one comes along...  --V

[[be...]]

Hey Valley how are you doing with your taper? are the chooks thriving? and give [glow=red,2,300]"Cookie"[/glow] a shout out from her bestie. I have two more days to complete my 10 day taper, then 1 month of same dosage. Stay Strong my Friend.

[[Va...]]

Hey Valley how are you doing with your taper? are the chooks thriving? and give [glow=red,2,300]"Cookie"[/glow] a shout out from her bestie. I have two more days to complete my 10 day taper, then 1 month of same dosage. Stay Strong my Friend.

Hi BG. I'm doing ok. I seem to be getting over some delayed withdrawal over the past couple of days. Other than that, everything is fine. Good to see you making even more progress! You're getting closer. I gave a shout out to Cookie and she just looked at me and clucked. 

[[ga...]]

Hey Valley how are you doing with your taper? are the chooks thriving? and give [glow=red,2,300]"Cookie"[/glow] a shout out from her bestie. I have two more days to complete my 10 day taper, then 1 month of same dosage. Stay Strong my Friend.

Hi BG. I'm doing ok. I seem to be getting over some delayed withdrawal over the past couple of days. Other than that, everything is fine. Good to see you making even more progress! You're getting closer. I gave a shout out to Cookie and she just looked at me and clucked. 

 

Good to hear you're doing OK, V.

Gee, all Cookie did was cluck? Imagine that!

[[He...]]

I'm feeling awful, want to cry.

Shortness of breath after just a short walk. Tired and achy. Feeling sick and neck hurts again too. A bit more tinnitus. It's easy to think you have thus withdrawal thing figured out when you are feeling good, but that all goes out the window when you start getting wdsx again. Feeling sorry fir myself. I always think I'm out of the woods when I'm doing good for two months and then bingo.

 

I have to get it through my head that this is not linear.

No wonder many many people just give up.

 

But I can't give up...crying helps get  rid of the stress in me but I just can't stand  this. I'm such a crybaby. So many of you here have it so very much worse than I do.  I really feel so bad for you. I hope you won't give up. You probably have it ten times worse than me.

 

Heath, a real mess and worse than Ive been in a long time. :-[ :-[

[[He...]]

Thus is a crazy question but..... do you think Gaterade can affect a taper adversely?

 

Just a thought. It's full of potassium.

 

Heath

[[ly...]]

 

 

I think we are all different Heath.  Some are very sensitive.  I've not read anything specifically about sports drinks.  Are you generally sensitive to stuff?