The Long Hold Support Group

[[...]]

Hi TNTD, thirdtime around, MiYu, Hope, and anyone else having a hard time of this( like isn't almost everyone!?)

I sure am no expert but I have been tapering since January 2016 and i have been where you are now. Iknow how  hard it is to hold when all you want is to get off these drugs  And I know how disgruntling and disappointing it is when you get a window only to have it close again and some mighty long days with wave upon wave takes it place..

But, imo, even if it doesn't seem possible at the time, a nice long hold is really your best friend.

It's true some people have to hold longer before they see some light and hope. I know Valley held for 6 months at one time and I think it was Lynn or Anne who held about 8 months, nit sure.

I had to hold for about 4 months to get myself out of a deep whole of constant waves. It  seemed like forever, but looking back now  it wasn't so bad, and boy was it the right thing to do. I learned to listen to my body and cut only when my body was stable or very close to it. And to keep the cuts small with incorporated holds, even if I were feeling great..

 

So I am just encouraging you not to give up. I do really feel for you. The waves can me monsters. But imo holding will certainly get you to a better place.

 

MiYu, I remember when you first joined our group( way back then!)  I was pretty new then too. and I know you have been suffering for a long time. I hope you stay strong and keep up the fight.

 

I wish all of those who are suffering, peace and healing. I also wish you strength, courage, and patience to get through this.  YOU REALLY CAN WIN THIS WAR! :oXo:

 

:therethere:

 

Heath :smitten:

 

Thank you Heath for those encouraging words 

So glad you are doing well!

Love, MiYu  :smitten:

[[He...]]

Heath here again,

 

I forgot to say, great news to those of you who have had

some Windows of late.

 

And TNTD, so glad you were able to get out of the house even for a short time.

 

And Happy birthday! :happybday:

[[ga...]]

Do you think it's bad to do long holds if you were a short term user even with debilitating symptoms?

 

Hi Hope,

 

I'm so sorry you got caught up in this after short term use.  You certainly aren't alone as there are many others on this forum in the same boat.  Unfortunately, you can't underestimate what these drugs can do for some after a few weeks use.  My suggestion is to you keep holding until your symptoms settle. 

 

Perhaps others will chime in with their thoughts.  You'll get there.  Listen to your body and if you throw out the calendar and I guarantee you'll feel better about your taper.  😊

 

Add me to the list of short-term users who hit dependency very quickly. I was dependent in one month. I took the drug as prescribed for 6 months. I've been tapering for over 2 years.

[[Ki...]]

And Im tapering a similar rate to gard but I was on the stuff for 16 years. We really are all very different in how we heal.

[[ga...]]

 

 

Hi my friends,

 

Thank you for your condolences Gard, MiYu, and Begood. I really appreciate your thoughts and you are very right there is no way that I would be doing any cutting right now. I'm looking at the 1st of July for a possible micro cut just to see how things go. I think my brain is finally starting to heal from the CT though it probably has a long way to go yet.

 

I haven't been on BB for over a week so I'm way behind on this fast moving thread. I think I've managed to read five pages but I can't even remember most of what I've read. Slow tapering is the way to go is what remains in my benzo brain. I think I'm going to skip forward to the last few pages to try to catch up.

 

Heath,

 

Thank you for filling me in on what your doctor did with you and your meds. I don't know how that would work for me since I take a couple of different meds first thing in the morning and one of them is the benzo, the other is Buspar. I will have to discuss it with my doctor. I'm still pretty bad with the agoraphobia and health anxiety so I don't think it will be happening for a bit yet anyway. Just good information for later. 

 

I've actually been having a half way decent week. It was my birthday this week and my agoraphobia was low enough that with some intense deep breathing and conversation to distract I was able to go out to eat twice, once for my birthday and once for Cinco de Mayo, and I also was able to go to a quiet coffee shop with my daughter and have some decafe coffee while we sat and chatted in the quiet back room. This hold has been good. I just have to be careful not to trigger another horrible wave again. I think I did too much in my last window and that's what caused my worse wave in awhile. I was so enjoying leaving the house though

 

Thinking of you all and wishing everyone peace of some sort in their day.

 

Hugs and healing,

 

T

 

Good to see you, t. Glad you got out for your birthday! Your comment about reading to catch up an remembering almost nothing is so me!

 

Gard

[[ga...]]

 

 

Third,

 

I'd probably plan to suspend the taper for a while and hold.  Maybe taking the pressure off as far as reducing will help alleviate some stress.  I took an 8 month taper "vacation" my first year.  Just put the taper on the back burner and concentrated on getting well.  I had no set time-frame and planned to hold as long as was needed.  I did not put any pressure on myself about it.  You've made alot of progress and the way things are your body/brain is calling a time-out for a bit.

 

I hope things start to settle down and improve.  I'd have to bet that you will start feeling better in another month or so and be able to enjoy the summer vacation with your daughter.

 

Take good care!

 

:thumbsup:

[[ga...]]

[glow=red,2,300]Hey everyone we have surpassed "100,000 messages", all keep up the good work of helping one another and do not give up or give in, we will all have Our end of Journey Story. [/glow]

 

 

[glow=red,2,300]BG[/glow] :thumbsup:

 

:clap:

 

Now please tell me why our mascot looks like a sandwich!

[[ga...]]

 

 

HI Gard , I'm sorry you had to deal with some hard relationship stuff , but glad you are home now.

Yes , it's really hard to figure the catch up time with long acting meds. I can't figure it out either with Valium . But that doesn't even apply to me just yet as I can't taper !

When I do I will start out very slowly as you are doing and wait to see . I know I have had bad WDs from really small cuts catch up with me , even now I seem to be getting WDs from , who knows when, but that also might be just plain old instability .

 

I had a better day today after a really diifcult week.......it's really true that that can happen. I don't feel ' well' but I was able to be active more and do some things , other than just cope with horrid symptoms . Hoping it will be the start of my kind of ' window'!

 

Good going on tapering ..... I know what you mean , I'll be retired too at this rate by the time on off, I don't care if I can have a life in the meantime ......

 

Love , MiYu  :smitten:

 

Wow, that's very good news, Miyu! I'm so happy for you! Life needs to be more than coping with horrid symptoms. That's what holds are supposed to do for us. Hoping your BIG window is right around the corner. :smitten:

[[ly...]]

 

Every day is one day closer...whether holding/healing or able to taper.  I held for 8 months and then, the next year, 4 months, and the result both times was an easier, smoother taper with far less wd and the ability to live a full life.  The time doesn't matter to me because I feel well.  Frustration and disappointment go out the window with a very tolerable taper.  I do believe the vast majority can have this.

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300]Hey everyone we have surpassed "100,000 messages", all keep up the good work of helping one another and do not give up or give in, we will all have Our end of Journey Story. [/glow]

 

 

[glow=red,2,300]BG[/glow] :thumbsup:

 

:clap:

 

Now please tell me why our mascot looks like a sandwich!

Because Cant thought I looked Hungry.... :2funny:

[[ly...]]

[glow=red,2,300]Hey everyone we have surpassed "100,000 messages", all keep up the good work of helping one another and do not give up or give in, we will all have Our end of Journey Story. [/glow]

 

 

[glow=red,2,300]BG[/glow] :thumbsup:

 

:clap:

 

Now please tell me why our mascot looks like a sandwich!

Because Cant thought I looked Hungry.... :2funny:

 

:laugh:

 

we know you love cheeseburgers!

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300]Hey everyone we have surpassed "100,000 messages", all keep up the good work of helping one another and do not give up or give in, we will all have Our end of Journey Story. [/glow]

 

 

[glow=red,2,300]BG[/glow] :thumbsup:

 

:clap:

 

Now please tell me why our mascot looks like a sandwich!

Because Cant thought I looked Hungry.... :2funny:

 

:laugh:

 

we know you love cheeseburgers!

Yes I do and no one is getting a bite....

[[ga...]]

[glow=red,2,300]Hey everyone we have surpassed "100,000 messages", all keep up the good work of helping one another and do not give up or give in, we will all have Our end of Journey Story. [/glow]

 

 

[glow=red,2,300]BG[/glow] :thumbsup:

 

:clap:

 

Now please tell me why our mascot looks like a sandwich!

Because Cant thought I looked Hungry.... :2funny:

 

Oh, that figures!

[[He...]]

HEY MIYU!

 

YAY FOR YOU!  :clap: A WINDOW! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. YOU ARE PROOF OF THE PUDDING BABY! HOPE ITS JUST THE BEGINNING OF MANY MORE AND LONGER WINDOWS! YOU GO GIRL!

 

Heath :smitten:

[[HO...]]

Do you think it's bad to do long holds if you were a short term user even with debilitating symptoms?

Hi Hope. Like willdoit said, you aren't the first short time user to get hit with dependency very quick. There was a buddie here a while ago who was on for only 3 weeks and spent over 2 years tapering 2mg of Valium. He had very few sxs as he was very patient and did a complete symptom based taper. You'll make it off. It just may take a little longer than you had planned.  --V

 

Thanks! These drugs are horrible! Thanks so much for all the support from this group!!!

[[HO...]]

Do you think it's bad to do long holds if you were a short term user even with debilitating symptoms?

 

Hi Hope,

 

I'm so sorry you got caught up in this after short term use.  You certainly aren't alone as there are many others on this forum in the same boat.  Unfortunately, you can't underestimate what these drugs can do for some after a few weeks use.  My suggestion is to you keep holding until your symptoms settle. 

 

Perhaps others will chime in with their thoughts.  You'll get there.  Listen to your body and if you throw out the calendar and I guarantee you'll feel better about your taper.  😊

 

Thanks this group is so supportive and amazing!

[[Ca...]]

Oh Gosh... -where was I at...!!!

 

Third!!! -so good to see you here!!! -welcome..  I hope you settle in and find the way that works best for you... In my opinion, thats what we do here... -Find our way..  Hopefully in a positive and distracting way...

 

And for the record guys..  -I was just being a healthy turtle... I didnt know BG was hungry... -But hey, im not one to complain...

And yes, I am still eating half a kg of raw organic carrots a day, is great to stop a grumbly belly...

 

Happy Bday T. Great that you got out..!!

 

Miyu -well done on a hard earnt window... hope things move forward from here...!!

 

Things seem to have changed quite a bit after the good day I had a few days ago.. might take some getting used to, but it all feels rather positive...

We never know when the tide will turn...!!

 

Im sure there is much i have missed, forgive me...

-and a big HI to all the new faces...

 

Tapering at a Turtle speed... or paying the price..

Be Happy..

[Guest [wi...]]

Do you think it's bad to do long holds if you were a short term user even with debilitating symptoms?

 

Hi Hope,

 

I'm so sorry you got caught up in this after short term use.  You certainly aren't alone as there are many others on this forum in the same boat.  Unfortunately, you can't underestimate what these drugs can do for some after a few weeks use.  My suggestion is to you keep holding until your symptoms settle. 

 

Perhaps others will chime in with their thoughts.  You'll get there.  Listen to your body and if you throw out the calendar and I guarantee you'll feel better about your taper.  😊

 

Thanks this group is so supportive and amazing!

 

You're welcome.  You can do this and I agree, this is a very supportive group.  You can do this! 

[[Ca...]]

Hi Hope... -I guess I wasnt on V that long at any real or daily doses. It was my taper aid for another med...

I cut very fast till I crashed, then it took about 4 months of sorta holding for me...  Things are starting to improve now...

Looking back -had i updosed from 2.5v to about 7v, I probably would have slow tapered by SX, just fine... But I will never know for sure...

 

I think the more confidence one can have in their chosen taper process, the better it goes... -Then one can focus on distraction and other future skills instead..

 

Best wishes...

 

Hi Wdi

[Guest [wi...]]

Hi Cantfly😊  Wdi

[[be...]]

:happybday: belated T.

 

MiYu, you sound good, so happy for you.

 

I found this pic to be so true, but hey does not matter how long it takes to reach the end of our Journey, but that we can "Slide or Walk Off." Stay Strong All. Thanks Cant for placing it above in one of your Posts.

 

Tapering at a Turtle speed... or paying the price..

Be Happy.. 

[[...]]

Hi Guys

 

Thank you for the birthday wishes Heath, MiYu, Gard, Cantfly, and BeGood. I was so happy that my agoraphobia was low enough to be able to go out. Not sure if all that overstimulation caused me to crash but crash I did. Yesterday wasn't too bad so I thought today might be better again but today has been horrid. I'm just glad that I'm at least getting some relief on occassion. Hoping it continues to get better as I continue to hold.

 

It's so great to read about the success of holding by so many people here. This group has been a great support for me and I hope that I can be as good a support for everyone here. I'm just not actually on the computer much recently. I think that might change come summer time when I'm home alone all day.

 

I love the picture of the snail pulling the turtle over. It's sooooo true too. When I first tried to taper I was cutting small amounts but it didn't matter. My brain was too fried to even do micro cuts. I'm so glad I found this amazing group 

 

You all rock. We will get there and hopefully holding will put us in a place where when we taper we are still functional so it won't matter how long it takes.

 

Hugs and healing everyone,

 

T

[Guest [wi...]]

:happybday: belated T.

 

MiYu, you sound good, so happy for you.

 

I found this pic to be so true, but hey does not matter how long it takes to reach the end of our Journey, but that we can "Slide or Walk Off." Stay Strong All. Thanks Cant for placing it above in one of your Posts.

 

Tapering at a Turtle speed... or paying the price..

Be Happy.. 

 

Begood, I like this, too.  Made me chuckle and a nice light visual reminder for us!  ❤️

[[be...]]

:happybday: belated T.

 

MiYu, you sound good, so happy for you.

 

I found this pic to be so true, but hey does not matter how long it takes to reach the end of our Journey, but that we can "Slide or Walk Off." Stay Strong All. Thanks Cant for placing this pic above and thanks for letting me hijack it.

 

Tapering at a Turtle speed... or paying the price..

Be Happy.. 

 

Begood, I like this, too.  Made me chuckle and a nice light visual reminder for us!  ❤️

I like it also, Cant has a load of turtle pics and shares them here.

 

[[He...]]

Love the slooooow turtle and the snail cop!  I'm a turtle when I drive so I better beware of those snail cops on the freeways.lol

Everyone seems to be in a mighty good mood today.  Glad we can be somewhat happy, even when we have to contend with wdsx.

 

Well now I am having some wdfx that started yesterday..They are not horrible but certainly are telling me to cool it! Can't explain it very well. But it's like a pins and needles ache in both arms right down to my fingertips. Kind of like arthritis in my muscles and flesh. Kind of a burning but not really. So hard to describe. Isn't keeping me home or from doing what I have to, but really feels awful.

Also the good sleep Ive been having lately is now accompanied by daytime fatigue. I think maybe it's the low dose of melatonin? Maybe I'll stop the melatonin and see how my sleep is without it? Maybe I don't need melatonin any more ? Who knows?

 

This seems to happen to me whenever I have things going really good. Then wham! But at least  I know I can stop things from getting any worse by putting in a nice hold.( and I was planning on cutting in about a week. That's NOT GOING TO HAPPEN NOW!

 

Ok so here we go again, time to crawl along.  .

 

Hope everyone has or had a good day. Night time here in California.

 

Heath