The Long Hold Support Group

[[ga...]]

Hi V and BG. Hope things are going well for you, too! Yes, some day we will all look back. Hard to believe, but it is true!

[[be...]]

Hi V and BG. Hope things are going well for you, too! Yes, some day we will all look back. Hard to believe, but it is true!

I can't complain I am doing well in the scheme of things, have 4 more days then will be done with 10 day taper and back to one month hold.

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I am going to begin cutting after a 1 week hold.  I reduced my taper rate to .5 mg per 40 days. This is really slow, isn't it? My question is are holds necessary if decline rate is super slow and sx are minimal Or. Does body need a rest from tapering no mater what.  I should be so lucky to have this problem!@# but I wondered. 

 

Thanks

[[ca...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I am going to begin cutting after a 1 week hold.  I reduced my taper rate to .5 mg per 40 days. This is really slow, isn't it? My question is are holds necessary if decline rate is super slow and sx are minimal Or. Does body need a rest from tapering no mater what.  I should be so lucky to have this problem!@# but I wondered. 

 

Thanks

Magnolis, Valium is tricky in the time between cuts and feeling s/x`s at least in my experience but if your sure your feeling ok you can try another cut but be reminded it can get rough once you get to far ahead like i did in the last 2 months as i made a 15% cut over that period and was ok or semi ok and then did a small 3% cut and Woops i am feeling it now so not sure if this is any help to you but figured i would try and help ! Hope all are doing ok as ok is a great thing ~CD

[[Va...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I am going to begin cutting after a 1 week hold.  I reduced my taper rate to .5 mg per 40 days. This is really slow, isn't it? My question is are holds necessary if decline rate is super slow and sx are minimal Or. Does body need a rest from tapering no mater what.  I should be so lucky to have this problem!@# but I wondered. 

 

Thanks

Hi Magnolis. That is a reasonable taper rate and you may find you can keep going. With that being said, I've found I can't go by a set schedule and make sure to hold with any increase in sxs. I'm finding there is no rhyme or reason to this process.  As long as you stick with ansymptom based taper, you'll be fine. Just my two cents.  --V

[[Th...]]

Hello group, I've decided to do a pretty long hold, at least 6 months. I have dealt with sxe too long and I just can't do it anymore. My family needs me and my husband is near a nervous breakdown with having to do everything as he also works a very stressful job and add a 3 year old and I'm not even sure how he is holding on.

 

I have only had a 1 hour window in a year. I can't do it anything. The nausea depression and fatigue are my worst symptoms. I spend so much time just leaning on the toilet crying that I have toilet seat bruises up and down my arms. I need a break, so does my family. I read some of your posts and it makes sense to hold and be function even if it takes years. My daughter will only be young so long and I'm missing out on so much. Not to mention I closed my small business which is another stressing situation.

 

I have a question about my dose if someone can help. Has anyone found a updose gets you to a level point sooner? I was considering going back to 2 but if it makes little difference I don't want to and just wait it out.

 

This being said I'm cutting .5 mg Klonopin into 4 which puts me at 1.67mg. I really don't have the energy to do the liquid taper and I'm scared to change anything like crossing over.

 

Because of the long half life I wonder if the small differences in the 4 pieces makes a difference or is it .5 mg in 4 days either way.

 

I bought a scale so maybe that's a better option? For those that use the gram scale how to you break down the pills? Just scrape it with a knife?

 

Thank you for starting this group. I have a lot of additional anxiety over this taking so long but I'm so sensitized so badly from this being my 3rd taper. # 1 and 2 where more manageable.

 

I know everyone is different but I'm curious the hold time it took everyone to where you felt more functional and sxe were much less. I feel like I just need a light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to.

[[ly...]]

 

 

Hi,

 

When was the last time you felt functional, half-way well?  What dose?  You may want to updose if it gets you back to stable quicker.  I might give it a try and see...maybe 1.75mg?  I guess it depends on how bad things are.  I'd do it if I wasn't functional.  It seems you don't have months to give holding a chance(?).  I just don't have an answer - it's alot of trial and error.  Maybe others will come in.  I've only updosed once at the very beginning and I felt relief right away.

 

As to the measuring little pieces, I found that the "they will average out over 4 days" was good enough for me.  I only went to liquid when I got below .10mgs and there was no cutting possible.  I never got a scale and went to liquid at that point.

[[Va...]]

Hello group, I've decided to do a pretty long hold, at least 6 months. I have dealt with sxe too long and I just can't do it anymore. My family needs me and my husband is near a nervous breakdown with having to do everything as he also works a very stressful job and add a 3 year old and I'm not even sure how he is holding on.

 

I have only had a 1 hour window in a year. I can't do it anything. The nausea depression and fatigue are my worst symptoms. I spend so much time just leaning on the toilet crying that I have toilet seat bruises up and down my arms. I need a break, so does my family. I read some of your posts and it makes sense to hold and be function even if it takes years. My daughter will only be young so long and I'm missing out on so much. Not to mention I closed my small business which is another stressing situation.

 

I have a question about my dose if someone can help. Has anyone found a updose gets you to a level point sooner? I was considering going back to 2 but if it makes little difference I don't want to and just wait it out.

 

This being said I'm cutting .5 mg Klonopin into 4 which puts me at 1.67mg. I really don't have the energy to do the liquid taper and I'm scared to change anything like crossing over.

 

Because of the long half life I wonder if the small differences in the 4 pieces makes a difference or is it .5 mg in 4 days either way.

 

I bought a scale so maybe that's a better option? For those that use the gram scale how to you break down the pills? Just scrape it with a knife?

 

Thank you for starting this group. I have a lot of additional anxiety over this taking so long but I'm so sensitized so badly from this being my 3rd taper. # 1 and 2 where more manageable.

 

I know everyone is different but I'm curious the hold time it took everyone to where you felt more functional and sxe were much less. I feel like I just need a light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to.

Hi thirdtimearound. I'm sorry you've been suffering so long. In answer to your question, it took me 6 months of holding to stabilize. I echo what lynn stated also that an upsdose may be a way to shorten the hold time.  --V

[[Ma...]]

Thanks Valley,

 

Asymptom all the way at any cost.  That should be our groups motto!!

[[HO...]]

Do you think it's bad to do long holds if you were a short term user even with debilitating symptoms?

[Guest [wi...]]

Do you think it's bad to do long holds if you were a short term user even with debilitating symptoms?

 

Hi Hope,

 

I'm so sorry you got caught up in this after short term use.  You certainly aren't alone as there are many others on this forum in the same boat.  Unfortunately, you can't underestimate what these drugs can do for some after a few weeks use.  My suggestion is to you keep holding until your symptoms settle. 

 

Perhaps others will chime in with their thoughts.  You'll get there.  Listen to your body and if you throw out the calendar and I guarantee you'll feel better about your taper.  😊 

 

 

[[Va...]]

Thanks Valley,

 

Asymptom all the way at any cost.  That should be our groups motto!!

[[Va...]]

Do you think it's bad to do long holds if you were a short term user even with debilitating symptoms?

Hi Hope. Like willdoit said, you aren't the first short time user to get hit with dependency very quick. There was a buddie here a while ago who was on for only 3 weeks and spent over 2 years tapering 2mg of Valium. He had very few sxs as he was very patient and did a complete symptom based taper. You'll make it off. It just may take a little longer than you had planned.  --V

[[...]]

quote from tntd

 

".Most benzo's are fat soluble and so are stored in our fat cells but when we do a purge of our systems for the colonoscopy the question is where are they absorbed into our blood stream from? The stomach, the small intestine..... I'm also on another medication and I have no idea where it is absorbed into the bloodstream from either. Also are we allowed to take our medications, mine is in cashew milk, while doing the purge for the procedure? I took an anatomy and physiology class at one point and most things are absorbed in the small intestine. Fat is absorbed in the large intestine. Herein lies my question about the purging of our intestines.

 

It appears that all went well for Heath though so I would imagine it wouldn't be a big deal. Something to talk to the doctor about. "

 

 

 

Hi! Tntd,

 

I had no trouble with my Valium dose when preparing for the colonoscopy. I am only on 1.06 mg Valium, once a day at bedtime. I was allowed to take my regular dose the night before and the next night after the procedure as well.  There was no break in my dose at all so I guess that might be why I had no problem with my Valium. My doc did not let me take any meds in the morning of my procedure. But since I had no morning dose, it did not matter.

 

My only concern was that they not give me any extra Valium or any kind if benzodiazapines to sedate me. I imagine that would have really messed up my very steady downward tapering. But they gave me propofol to sedate me so that did not interfere with my regular Valium either.

 

I believe that any good and caring doc would listen to a person's concerns and work with them.

 

And I am so very Sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend and the illness in your family. I do so hope all things get better for you.

 

Heath

 

Hi my friends,

 

Thank you for your condolences Gard, MiYu, and Begood. I really appreciate your thoughts and you are very right there is no way that I would be doing any cutting right now. I'm looking at the 1st of July for a possible micro cut just to see how things go. I think my brain is finally starting to heal from the CT though it probably has a long way to go yet.

 

I haven't been on BB for over a week so I'm way behind on this fast moving thread. I think I've managed to read five pages but I can't even remember most of what I've read. Slow tapering is the way to go is what remains in my benzo brain. I think I'm going to skip forward to the last few pages to try to catch up.

 

Heath,

 

Thank you for filling me in on what your doctor did with you and your meds. I don't know how that would work for me since I take a couple of different meds first thing in the morning and one of them is the benzo, the other is Buspar. I will have to discuss it with my doctor. I'm still pretty bad with the agoraphobia and health anxiety so I don't think it will be happening for a bit yet anyway. Just good information for later. 

 

I've actually been having a half way decent week. It was my birthday this week and my agoraphobia was low enough that with some intense deep breathing and conversation to distract I was able to go out to eat twice, once for my birthday and once for Cinco de Mayo, and I also was able to go to a quiet coffee shop with my daughter and have some decafe coffee while we sat and chatted in the quiet back room. This hold has been good. I just have to be careful not to trigger another horrible wave again. I think I did too much in my last window and that's what caused my worse wave in awhile. I was so enjoying leaving the house though

 

Thinking of you all and wishing everyone peace of some sort in their day.

 

Hugs and healing,

 

T

[[Va...]]

quote from tntd

 

I've actually been having a half way decent week. It was my birthday this week and my agoraphobia was low enough that with some intense deep breathing and conversation to distract I was able to go out to eat twice, once for my birthday and once for Cinco de Mayo, and I also was able to go to a quiet coffee shop with my daughter and have some decafe coffee while we sat and chatted in the quiet back room. This hold has been good. I just have to be careful not to trigger another horrible wave again. I think I did too much in my last window and that's what caused my worse wave in awhile. I was so enjoying leaving the house though

 

Thinking of you all and wishing everyone peace of some sort in their day.

 

Hugs and healing,

 

T

 

That's great news tntd!  --V

[[Th...]]

 

 

Hi,

 

When was the last time you felt functional, half-way well?  What dose?  You may want to updose if it gets you back to stable quicker.  I might give it a try and see...maybe 1.75mg?  I guess it depends on how bad things are.  I'd do it if I wasn't functional.  It seems you don't have months to give holding a chance(?).  I just don't have an answer - it's alot of trial and error.  Maybe others will come in.  I've only updosed once at the very beginning and I felt relief right away.

 

As to the measuring little pieces, I found that the "they will average out over 4 days" was good enough for me.  I only went to liquid when I got below .10mgs and there was no cutting possible.  I never got a scale and went to liquid at that point.

 

Hi thanks for responding, sadly I think my last stable dose was 2.5 or 3 after 2.5 things got rough. I have been doing moderate holds, not long enough but I guess I've been stubborn and trying to rush faster than I can handle.

 

I think my functioning might be enough to suffer through without raising because I just can't loose a year. Considering my last cut was not long ago I'm just hoping things will improve in a couple months of holding and than I will ride the hold till next year.

 

I can at least function enough to get my daughter ready for school and spend a lot of time with her doing things around the house. I do the laundry and about 3/4 of the housework. I don't do it happy though. I push myself a bit too much out of guilt. Could be a major factor in my sxe but if I sit and watch tv and ruminate (still can't meditate) it's almost just as bad sxe wise just different ones.

 

Sorry I'm rambling

[[ly...]]

 

 

Third,

 

I'd probably plan to suspend the taper for a while and hold.  Maybe taking the pressure off as far as reducing will help alleviate some stress.  I took an 8 month taper "vacation" my first year.  Just put the taper on the back burner and concentrated on getting well.  I had no set time-frame and planned to hold as long as was needed.  I did not put any pressure on myself about it.  You've made alot of progress and the way things are your body/brain is calling a time-out for a bit.

 

I hope things start to settle down and improve.  I'd have to bet that you will start feeling better in another month or so and be able to enjoy the summer vacation with your daughter.

 

Take good care!

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300]Hey everyone we have surpassed "100,000 messages", all keep up the good work of helping one another and do not give up or give in, we will all have Our end of Journey Story. [/glow]

 

 

[glow=red,2,300]BG[/glow] :thumbsup:  

[[Va...]]

[quote :clap: author=begood link=topic=153201.msg2383839#msg2383839 date=1494114438]

[glow=red,2,300]Hey everyone we have surpassed "100,000 messages", all keep up the good work of helping one another and do not give up or give in, we will all have Our end of Journey Story. [/glow]

 

 

[glow=red,2,300]BG[/glow] :thumbsup:

:clap:

[[ly...]]

[quote :clap: author=begood link=topic=153201.msg2383839#msg2383839 date=1494114438]

[glow=red,2,300]Hey everyone we have surpassed "100,000 messages", all keep up the good work of helping one another and do not give up or give in, we will all have Our end of Journey Story. [/glow]

 

 

[glow=red,2,300]BG[/glow] :thumbsup:

:clap:

 

HOO RAY!!

[[...]]

Hi, Miyu. Had a really, really rough couple of weeks due to family issues and travels (not far, but anything outside of my town is far for me). Had to cope with some very negative, demeaning people every day. I knew it, but it had to be done. My sleep was a mess!

 

Feeling better now and have resumed my taper. It's painful but not impossible so far. Have been trying very hard to take care of myself. Going for walks when I can. Trying to eat better. Most importantly, trying to do some form of meditation every day.

 

I would really like to be able to taper at 10%, but that's probably not realistic. Being careful to start slowly, around 3%, and inch up. I haven't quite figured out this slow benzo. My first taper was from Xanax. So, now waiting a week or more to see how each cut feels. Annoyingly, I cannot figure out a pattern of cut-to-symptoms time lag.

 

I'm hoping that the very long hold I did will allow me to taper and function. Was pretty much nonfunctional before my hold.

 

I made the mistake of doing some math the other day. Yikes! Will be retired before I'm off these drugs! So I decided to just think of one capsule at a time rather than all of them.

 

One day closer to freedom!

 

Gard

 

HI Gard , I'm sorry you had to deal with some hard relationship stuff , but glad you are home now.

Yes , it's really hard to figure the catch up time with long acting meds. I can't figure it out either with Valium . But that doesn't even apply to me just yet as I can't taper !

When I do I will start out very slowly as you are doing and wait to see . I know I have had bad WDs from really small cuts catch up with me , even now I seem to be getting WDs from , who knows when, but that also might be just plain old instability .

 

I had a better day today after a really diifcult week.......it's really true that that can happen. I don't feel ' well' but I was able to be active more and do some things , other than just cope with horrid symptoms . Hoping it will be the start of my kind of ' window'!

 

Good going on tapering ..... I know what you mean , I'll be retired too at this rate by the time on off, I don't care if I can have a life in the meantime ......

 

Love , MiYu  :smitten:

[[...]]

[glow=red,2,300]Hey everyone we have surpassed "100,000 messages", all keep up the good work of helping one another and do not give up or give in, we will all have Our end of Journey Story. [/glow]

 

 

[glow=red,2,300]BG[/glow] :thumbsup:

 

 

Yay for the LHSG!! You're the best!  :clap:

 

( and I had a better day today , yay! )

Love, MiYu

[[...]]

 

 

Hi,

 

When was the last time you felt functional, half-way well?  What dose?  You may want to updose if it gets you back to stable quicker.  I might give it a try and see...maybe 1.75mg?  I guess it depends on how bad things are.  I'd do it if I wasn't functional.  It seems you don't have months to give holding a chance(?).  I just don't have an answer - it's alot of trial and error.  Maybe others will come in.  I've only updosed once at the very beginning and I felt relief right away.

 

As to the measuring little pieces, I found that the "they will average out over 4 days" was good enough for me.  I only went to liquid when I got below .10mgs and there was no cutting possible.  I never got a scale and went to liquid at that point.

 

Hi thanks for responding, sadly I think my last stable dose was 2.5 or 3 after 2.5 things got rough. I have been doing moderate holds, not long enough but I guess I've been stubborn and trying to rush faster than I can handle.

 

I think my functioning might be enough to suffer through without raising because I just can't loose a year. Considering my last cut was not long ago I'm just hoping things will improve in a couple months of holding and than I will ride the hold till next year.

 

I can at least function enough to get my daughter ready for school and spend a lot of time with her doing things around the house. I do the laundry and about 3/4 of the housework. I don't do it happy though. I push myself a bit too much out of guilt. Could be a major factor in my sxe but if I sit and watch tv and ruminate (still can't meditate) it's almost just as bad sxe wise just different ones.

 

Sorry I'm rambling

 

Thirdtime....... I'm into my 8 th month of holding , except I made tiny cuts in those months that added up to 1/4 mg Valium , very little, but each time I tried I'd get hit with really bad symptoms , and I haven't stabilized in that time. It seems like once your nervous system is destabilized it's important not to cut nANYTHING .... That's my lesson I think, even tho the cuts I made were so minuscule , and they still brought on horrible symptoms ,making me mostly housebound.

So as Lynn and I think others said , best to out the taper on the back burning until you feel better. I'm having to do that , I don't like it one bit. I'm still getting waves that make me feel hopeless and depressed about ever being able to taper , but then today was better . I know I'm not stable enough yet to cut though , so I have to hold .

I'm really hoping to get to a point where I feel stable enough that I know I could handle cutting without getting slammed. I'm not there yet I am quite sure of that.

It's hard , you don't know how long , and we all want off the meds , but it's so much worse when you go too fast for your your body and life seems hopeless, no one wants to live that way.

 

Hang in there , there will be a way forward for you , and me .

Love , MiYu

[[...]]

TNTD ,

I'm with you on the long hold , sloth taper ...... No cutting for me either just yet

Hopefully we'll know when the time is right ....

Love, MiYu 

 

Oh ,and Happy Birthday! So glad you were able to do those things , my goodness , going out for meals and everything , that's a lot ! 

[[He...]]

Hi TNTD, thirdtime around, MiYu, Hope, and anyone else having a hard time of this( like isn't almost everyone!?)

I sure am no expert but I have been tapering since January 2016 and i have been where you are now. Iknow how  hard it is to hold when all you want is to get off these drugs  And I know how disgruntling and disappointing it is when you get a window only to have it close again and some mighty long days with wave upon wave takes it place..

But, imo, even if it doesn't seem possible at the time, a nice long hold is really your best friend.

It's true some people have to hold longer before they see some light and hope. I know Valley held for 6 months at one time and I think it was Lynn or Anne who held about 8 months, nit sure.

I had to hold for about 4 months to get myself out of a deep whole of constant waves. It  seemed like forever, but looking back now  it wasn't so bad, and boy was it the right thing to do. I learned to listen to my body and cut only when my body was stable or very close to it. And to keep the cuts small with incorporated holds, even if I were feeling great..

 

So I am just encouraging you not to give up. I do really feel for you. The waves can me monsters. But imo holding will certainly get you to a better place.

 

MiYu, I remember when you first joined our group( way back then!)  I was pretty new then too. and I know you have been suffering for a long time. I hope you stay strong and keep up the fight.

 

I wish all of those who are suffering, peace and healing. I also wish you strength, courage, and patience to get through this.  YOU REALLY CAN WIN THIS WAR! :oXo:

 

:therethere:

 

Heath :smitten: