The Long Hold Support Group

[[be...]]

Thanks Cant for sharing with us, this is just Awesome and a well deserved Window for you, enjoy every moment. TB I knew your time was way overdue, kudos to you.!!!

 

http://68.media.tumblr.com/3c0c4525770353f9b45bc008dcfd6544/tumblr_obp653uGEI1sfutddo1_400.jpg

[[ly...]]

 

 

Excellent news Cant!   A glimpse of what lies ahead!

[[...]]

Yay for  Cant! :yippee:

 

You deserve that with everything you've been through......

 

On to my sorry story ....I'm still holding and still feeling like sh*t.

I want a window!

It's been 7 months. Admittedly during that time I did reduce a 1/4 mg.... Perhaps in retrospect o would have been better off now if I hadn't , but I did ,  and too late now . I also did cut back some on my gabapentin .

A few weeks ago I was feeling better , but now every day is the same , lots of pain, fatigue , stress intolerance , burning etc. been feeling depressed too which really doesn't help.

 

If I could get out more I'd feel better , but I'm just so fragile and it seems like everything revs up my nervous system , even food.

I'm holding til the end of this month and then will post for a review and see if I need to make a change of some kind.

Like Nova said , sometimes it's hard to see others progressing and getting on with their tapers , I don't want to feel that way , and I truly am happy for those finding their way, I just want my break to come 

Trying to keep the faith.......

Love, MiYu 

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Wow...!!! Been flicking back a bit... Great to see so many faces here...!! -New and OLD...

 

Libr, Hi... I have done short term updoses to correct big cuts (25% at 2V) they were done within 2 or3 weeks and worked fine... -within a day or so.. -but this is just me, for my particular situation...

 

I guess I can think of cases that are so different that it just highlites that only the most basic rules apply...

 

Im not sure that I can add to what others have said, and were it me, I think I would hold over updosing, unless u find things unbearable...

 

Personally I have found that it takes quite some time for all my sx to come through, though they are less intense than the initial few weeks... usually people have done several new cuts in this time, and thats how things slowly catch up and bite us... -again, just reflecting on my big cuts followed by a hold...

There are so many variences that it becomes about the process of ones individual taper, -not dates or percentages... learning ones ever changing SX and relating that to tapering becomes the job...

 

-well, thats my thought anyways...

 

My Best...

[[Ki...]]

MiYu I sure hope you get a break soon!

[Guest [wi...]]

Cantfly,

 

Great news about your window!  I'm so pleased you shared the good news.  It's so nice to get those breaks from symptoms and a peak into what lies ahead for you.  😊

[[Ca...]]

Thanks BG, Lynn and Miyu, Everyone here sure played a roll, even just quietly reading here helped me no end...

 

Miyu I so feel for you... and wish your day to be so soon...

Dont lose that hope and strength...  I nearly did, and it sure didnt help... I had accepted that I am in bed 23hrs a day, and I thought I should be pushing myself to get mobile...  but I just couldnt/cant?, and I realize that i wasnt wrong... -Its just not possible without rescue dosing in some form...

But I had the insight from those years in hospital, to know that this is a temporary healing state... our brains are smart... And today proved it, without thought, I was up and about as if on speed..

 

Point being..  -Acceptance, Distraction, Time, and Faith...

-not sure i would recommend all my experimenting as good distraction.. but it kept my hope going..

Just do your best for each day, that is all thats needed... whatever that days best may be...

 

Ps, liquid didnt aggree with me, for whatever reason, but i suspect the tiny amount or alcohol...

Which is a bummer as I so need to micro..

 

Huge Huggs  X 1000

[[HO...]]

Congrats cantfly!

[[HO...]]

MiYu I hope you feel better soon 7 months is a king too me. Did you cold turkey or rapid taper ever?

[[Va...]]

So happy for you can't! 

[[Ca...]]

Cantfly,

 

Great news about your window!  I'm so pleased you shared the good news.  It's so nice to get those breaks from symptoms and a peak into what lies ahead for you.  😊

Thanks Wdi (did i get that right?)  such a supportive environment around here... -how can one not get better...!!!

 

Thanks Hope, -it sure was a surprise...!!

 

Today a happy turtle...

 

[[Va...]]

MiYu, I hope things turn around soon. It may be that small cut that has prevented you from stabilizing. I know when I did my hold, I almost cut after 6 weeks because I got a window. Luckily I resisted because that window was short lived and I didn't have another until several months later. I believe you'll get there. I would venture to guess the gabapentin may be having some side effects that are complicating things but if you hold at the same level on all your meds, you should start gradually feeling better. I wish I knew the exact answer.  --V

[[Ca...]]

So happy for you can't! 

valley thanks for your particular insight and support, and for sharing your experiences on other medication in relation to valium...

I was considering some crazy tapering ideas at one point

[[HO...]]

Cantflydid liquid valium make your symptoms increase or did it make your G.I. symptoms increase?

[[...]]

MiYu I sure hope you get a break soon!

 

Thank you kitty 

[[...]]

Thanks BG, Lynn and Miyu, Everyone here sure played a roll, even just quietly reading here helped me no end...

 

Miyu I so feel for you... and wish your day to be so soon...

Dont lose that hope and strength...  I nearly did, and it sure didnt help... I had accepted that I am in bed 23hrs a day, and I thought I should be pushing myself to get mobile...  but I just couldnt/cant?, and I realize that i wasnt wrong... -Its just not possible without rescue dosing in some form...

But I had the insight from those years in hospital, to know that this is a temporary healing state... our brains are smart... And today proved it, without thought, I was up and about as if on speed..

 

Point being..  -Acceptance, Distraction, Time, and Faith...

-not sure i would recommend all my experimenting as good distraction.. but it kept my hope going..

Just do your best for each day, that is all thats needed... whatever that days best may be...

 

Ps, liquid didnt aggree with me, for whatever reason, but i suspect the tiny amount or alcohol...

Which is a bummer as I so need to micro..

 

Huge Huggs  X 1000

 

Thanks Cant......and for reminding me that our brains are amazing , and to do my best each day..... So much acceptance needed . One day I'll find my way through this mess....

I've gone back to all dry pills again. I'll use a scale when I'm ready I think.

 

Love, MiYu

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MiYu I hope you feel better soon 7 months is a king too me. Did you cold turkey or rapid taper ever?

 

Thanks Hope....I never did a conscious CT, but before I knew about benzo WD I was all over the place with what I took and when . After some challenging life stuff I took some much higher doses here and there , and then dropped , I just didn't know it was the benzo WD making me so sick , I had CTd steroids due to a bad reaction to pretty high dose after 9 months on them..... That was a nightmare and certainly didn't help my nervous system or adrenals.....

So I was pretty ignorant about meds altogether and their potential for WDs , no doctors educated me that's for sure !

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MiYu, I hope things turn around soon. It may be that small cut that has prevented you from stabilizing. I know when I did my hold, I almost cut after 6 weeks because I got a window. Luckily I resisted because that window was short lived and I didn't have another until several months later. I believe you'll get there. I would venture to guess the gabapentin may be having some side effects that are complicating things but if you hold at the same level on all your meds, you should start gradually feeling better. I wish I knew the exact answer.  --V

 

Hi Valley,

Yes , probably those little cuts I made during my ' hold' just didn't help me stabilize , and you are right, the gabapentin no doubt played a role. I have cut back on that during the last few months.

I never had side effects from it before , it always kind of agreed with me , so I never really took it very seriously as a potential interference with my benzo taper . I still feel better in the evenings when I take the gabapentin along with my Valium dose. I may be having gabapentin interdose WDs  as it has a short half life, but I never had that before either .... I think the V and GPN combined add a complication , maybe.

I have tried taking some of my GPN during the day , but it doesn't seem to do much , in fact a couple of times it ramped up my symptoms , so I think best to keep it where it is , taking it all at night.

 

Just going to keep everything the way it is for now. It's a bit worrying that GPN might interfere with neuron growth, and perhaps delay healing , but , who knows , I do believe I can WD from it after my Valium taper . Actually , most neurons are formed early in life, so it's not going to give me brain damage in that way , I might not become a sudden genius from here on out,  but I don't think I'll loose what I've already learnt  :)it just might complicate the whole GABA thing.....

 

Anyway , hoping my body will stabilize if I keep things the way they are. I wonder if magnesium is effecting anything ... I know some people say it does, but I have pretty bad restless leg syndrome , and magnesium oil is the only thing that helps when the GPN doesn't work , ( that's why I first took it) which it doesn't occasionally... Go figure .

 

Love, MiYu

[[HO...]]

Wait what! Gabapentin interfere with benzo withdrawl healing?

[[ga...]]

Thanks for re-posting the propaganda, V!

Having a hard time because my doctor wants to set up a regular taper rate. May be stuck with a schedule. Will try to talk her into 5%. After my long hold, perhaps that will be OK.

 

Gard

Hope things get better for you Gard and soon. Stay Strong. Have you heard from Anne, I sure miss her, and hope everything is going well. :smitten:

 

Thanks, BG. Last thing Anne said was she was crazy busy winding up the school year. Otherwise she sounded fine. Will have to check in with her again.

 

Gard

[[ga...]]

Thanks for re-posting the propaganda, V!

Having a hard time because my doctor wants to set up a regular taper rate. May be stuck with a schedule. Will try to talk her into 5%. After my long hold, perhaps that will be OK.

 

Gard

Hi gard! I hope your doctor will work with you. Are you talking about 5% a month? If so, that is reasonable. Hope all is well with you.  --V

 

Thanks, V. Been through a rough spot. Family stuff and a need to travel which I do not do well! It's settled down.

 

Yes, I'm hoping for 5%/month. I did that in the past. I see her at the end of May to hash things out. Really hoping she will do this with me and not send me to the psychiatrist who is a very long drive and I have never met. Meanwhile, am trying that rate already. Anxiety is difficult but so far not intolerable.

 

One day closer to freedom!

 

Gard

[[ga...]]

Hi to All... Sorry I have been slack for a couple of weeks...

Today I rose from the near dead...

 

It might Be a good time to post what I texted on my Taper Buddies Blog...

Obviously they are far more Up to date on the situation, But im happy to fill in any gaps for those that may wish.. Im being lazy as im txting from fone as normal, and its well after midnight...

 

So, -I had a window, i guess...?? -anyways I had a great day, first in well over a year, and knew it was different as i woke... but it got better and better, and i even enjoyed doing the shopping tonight...

So yay for me...

 

But what i found interesting was that things sure got worse first, then got even worse but kinda fragmented.. the two last days I had new stuff like burning face, ichy neck n chest, tinitus, reflux and eyes went to shit even worse... and then the anxiety stuff... -remembering v was a taper aid to another med, to prevent muscle cramps..

 

I so wanted to cut, my instinct was to cut... It was only that I had promised my Dr I wouldnt cut for a couple of weeks while trialing these new agonist patches, and some stuff Nova had said, coupled with the ongoing support from BG and the Gang on her blog, and the LHSG, that got me through... say that 5 times fast...  (I can pretty well rule out that its related to the new meds, but on that, one never knows 100%)...

 

I wonder how many give up their hold as failed, just a few days too early??

 

Some might say, well its only one day... -and I may well be back in hell tomorrow...

But now I know I can feel human, that i can get better, -this isnt the way it is...

All it took was 4 months of holding -with some great support, to know that im not broken forever..

-Next... -stability...

 

Very happy to hear about your window, Cant!

[[ga...]]

Thinking of you, Miyu, and hoping your window is right around the corner.

 

Gard

 

[[...]]

Thinking of you, Miyu, and hoping your window is right around the corner.

 

Gard

Thank you Gard  miss 'seeing' you 

Love, MiYu

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Wait what! Gabapentin interfere with benzo withdrawl healing?

 

No not necessarily Hope.... I've just been on it for many years . Are you on it? If not I wouldn't recommend starting , doctors often prescribe it for cold turkeys , or to ' help' with benzo WD . But it's another drug and does require tapering . Better especially in your situation to not add any other meds and do a slow taper to avoid bad symptoms , rather than adding in other meds to try and make symptoms easier for a taper that is basically going too fast.... That's my opinion anyway . In the past I never had an issue stopping and starting gabapentin m but that was before benzos , so for me anyway it seems to have become a bit more complicated now... I don't anticipate that this will be my whole story though.

Like Begood, who is now having a very successful taper on her third try.... There's always a way. You have landed in an excellent group, stay here and you are ensured of great advice and guidance , and try not to add too much concern to your situation . Your taper could be easy!

Love, MiYu