The Long Hold Support Group

[[He...]]

Gard, glad you are back home and back with us here. Hope all is good from now on.

Heath

[[...]]

Valley, so sorry about Pip...... :'( I'm sure she's happy to be releived of her suffering .....

 

Gard ... I'm happy you are back and things are sorted 

 

Heath ...congrats on the achievement ! You're a butt-er man than I 

 

Hello to everyone ......

I'm making a little progress, not well ,but better .... Hoping for more recovery over the coming weeks .

 

Love, MiYu 

[[no...]]

Hi all  This week I had a couple of good days only to be in a really bad way by the evening or the following day, but that's my bodies sign that its fighting its way back to homoeostasis, healing hurts before you stabilise,  OW! OW! OW! !@%$^&(*()_+?"!. I also had a  window that lasted a few minutes window So hang in there it will come but you have to be patient and accept that it maybe rough going for a while.

 

But it will come eventually and the changes are so subtle you can miss the fact your improving while your feeling so bergh!  You DO heal on a hold and you DO heal while you taper, as another Buddie said you should jumped because your healed not to heal while still suffering, symptoms are a sign your CNS is till destabilised and needs to be stable before you advance any further.

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten: :smitten:

[[be...]]

Hi all  This week I had a couple of good days only to be in a really bad way by the evening or the following day, but that's my bodies sign that its fighting its way back to homoeostasis, healing hurts before you stabilise,  OW! OW! OW! !@%$^&(*()_+?"!. I also had a  window that lasted a few minutes window So hang in there it will come but you have to be patient and accept that it maybe rough going for a while.

 

But it will come eventually and the changes are so subtle you can miss the fact your improving while your feeling so bergh!  You DO heal on a hold and you DO heal while you taper, as another Buddie said you should jumped because your healed not to heal while still suffering, symptoms are a sign your CNS is till destabilised and needs to be stable before you advance any further.

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten: :smitten:

Amen [glow=red,2,300]"SISTA"[/glow] you are so right about being patient and allowing your body to heal, and so happy to hear that Our Nova had some good things happen and stays strong and committed knowing that we are indeed healing, so tired of hearing that "pushing" to rush and get off get off, but so be it, I made my choice long ago and I am doing well. Stay Strong. Smiling for You. Hugs.

[[Ca...]]

Great news Nova... -may the little steps your body is showing you get bigger and longer...

[[Ca...]]

BG...

You are doing so well, a great example... :)

 

[[be...]]

BG...

You are doing so well, a great example... :)

Thank you Cant.

[[Va...]]

That is wonderful nova! 

[[...]]

Hi all  This week I had a couple of good days only to be in a really bad way by the evening or the following day, but that's my bodies sign that its fighting its way back to homoeostasis, healing hurts before you stabilise,  OW! OW! OW! !@%$^&(*()_+?"!. I also had a  window that lasted a few minutes window So hang in there it will come but you have to be patient and accept that it maybe rough going for a while.

 

But it will come eventually and the changes are so subtle you can miss the fact your improving while your feeling so bergh!  You DO heal on a hold and you DO heal while you taper, as another Buddie said you should jumped because your healed not to heal while still suffering, symptoms are a sign your CNS is till destabilised and needs to be stable before you advance any further.

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten: :smitten:

[/quote

 

Yay Nova!  :smitten:

 

So happy for you , and thank you for your continued words of wisdom as you navigate this process of HEALING!

I'm not sure I know what a true window feels like ? What I feel is some subtle improvements happening, like in the mornings now , aside from if I wake up feeling toxic , which happens, I have about an hour before I start feel shaky and weak again, but that first hour I feel almost normal , not exactly well , but not exactly on WD either. I have this idea that a window feels completely normal.... Is this true, is this how one would define a window?

Seems to me , Inmy case it's more like the subtle gradual changes over time that are barely noticeable , but I do feel them. Sometimes it makes me wonder if it's something else going on and not WD ..... But , even if my general health isn't great right now , I think the V WD has to be taken very cautiously , and maybe over time I will start to feel better in my general health too.

Certainly upsetting the homeostasis does nothing for any kind of further healing!

 

I wish you more and more days of longer Windows !

Love, MiYu xx

[[Va...]]

MiYu, experiences may vary but to me a window is close to or at 100%. It fills you with hope and optimism and you get a glimpse of what life without benzos will be like.  --V

[[He...]]

NOVA, so happy for you, for you better days and also for keeping the attitude in the right place. You help everyone when you do that and remind us all to keep on our hold until we are stable.

Good going Nova! And may your days and get better and better!

 

Heath

[[...]]

Well, I haven't been on BB in a few days and had to catch up again 

 

Heath, I'm so glad to hear that everything went well and no polyps were found. I hope the biopsy shows nothing too.

 

Nova, congratulations on a window! So glad you are feeling a little better

 

V, sorry to hear about pipsqueaks. Glad you are doing well with it though.

 

I am two months into my hold now. Still having a pretty bad wave but then I've had some awful stressors added in the past few days. I found out that a dear friend of mine passed away from a virus. She was only 42. We have been friends for over 20 years and stayed in contact even before the internet. We haven't lived near each other in years but have always remained in close contact. When I started down this medicatin path I noticed that I hadn't heard from her but since my short term memory is really bad right now I kept forgetting to check on her, send her a message or give her a call. I was on Facebook two days ago and thought of her so I went to her page and I was going to check up on her and then send her an IM instead I find that her page has become a memorium. She died right at the time I started having problems. It has been difficult to come to terms with even though we didn't see each other often. She was always bugging me to come visit her and we had plans that I we would stop and see her on my way to visit my mother. Then yesterday we got a call from our niece that our cousins husband is dying. We are still waiting to hear more but for now he is in the hospital. He has end stage cancer. If I didn't have agoraphobia we would go out to support her. It's really frustrating and very stressful so my wave is still pretty bad. It's so funny that they tell us to stay as stress free as possible. Life isn't like that.

 

Most benzo's are fat soluble and so are stored in our fat cells but when we do a purge of our systems for the colonoscopy the question is where are they absorbed into our blood stream from? The stomach, the small intestine..... I'm also on another medication and I have no idea where it is absorbed into the bloodstream from either. Also are we allowed to take our medications, mine is in cashew milk, while doing the purge for the procedure? I took an anatomy and physiology class at one point and most things are absorbed in the small intestine. Fat is absorbed in the large intestine. Herein lies my question about the purging of our intestines.

 

It appears that all went well for Heath though so I would imagine it wouldn't be a big deal. Something to talk to the doctor about.

 

I hope everyone is finding some peace today.

 

Hugs and healing

T

[[ga...]]

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses, t.

 

I hope someone can answer your absorption questions. I have the same concerns.

 

Hope you get a window soon.

 

Gard

[[...]]

Thanks Gard,

 

I really appreciate it.

 

I hope you are doing well.

 

Hugs 

[[...]]

Tntd..... I am so sorry for the loss of your friend , and your cousins husbands illness. You are right that life cannot be controlled during withdrawal or any other time , things happen that are diifcult , especially illnesses and the passing of those we love.

 

Hang in there with your hold.... Now is certainly not a time for you to be considering any tapering!

 

I hope you feel better soon ,

Love, MiYu

[[...]]

MiYu, experiences may vary but to me a window is close to or at 100%. It fills you with hope and optimism and you get a glimpse of what life without benzos will be like.  --V

 

Thanks Valley .....Hmm.... Well , I guess I haven't had a window yet then .... What about medication side effects? Those do exist , so I wonder how one can tell the difference ? It's hard to tell if other health issues are at play too, things like hormones and previous health limits , even if not serious ones....

I do however look forward to experiencing a window! I do think I will recognize it if I get one 

 

MiYu

[[be...]]

T, sorry for your loss and just do what you can, if your heart is in the right place, it does not matter if you are there, a call to loved ones, a special note, you will know what you need to do. Take care of you and in time your loss will be lessened and only the good times with your Friend will prevail. Stay Strong.

[[no...]]

Hi all  This week I had a couple of good days only to be in a really bad way by the evening or the following day, but that's my bodies sign that its fighting its way back to homoeostasis, healing hurts before you stabilise,  OW! OW! OW! !@%$^&(*()_+?"!. I also had a  window that lasted a few minutes window So hang in there it will come but you have to be patient and accept that it maybe rough going for a while.

 

But it will come eventually and the changes are so subtle you can miss the fact your improving while your feeling so bergh!  You DO heal on a hold and you DO heal while you taper, as another Buddie said you should jumped because your healed not to heal while still suffering, symptoms are a sign your CNS is till destabilised and needs to be stable before you advance any further.

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten: :smitten:

Within minutes of writing this post I had one of the worse days ever which turned into one of the worst nights ever and no sleep, this is what I mean about its so unpredictable the road to stability, and the first thing you want to do is cut as the conviction that its the drug being in your body that's the problem becomes very strong. Where as cutting it too fast or too much ending up with too little of the drug that caused the problem in the first place and the problem now is we're unstable from the lack of the drug, and it makes you panic that its going wrong.

 

I also had an unexpected phone call off a couple of people  I was shocked and pleased to hear  from as its been 2 year's since we last spoke  and being pleased and laughing  also made me feel even more terrible after the call. They know nothing about my Benzo withdrawal so its not just stress that can wobble you its being happy or something and nothing. so as much as my brain screaming ''Do something go down in dose or of a lot further up I'm doing nothing all its going to do is make me even more unstable so I'm hanging on. Man!! I feel f-in tragic!! I hope it passes soon, and wish the same for everyone else thats suffering .

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[He...]]

quote from tntd

 

".Most benzo's are fat soluble and so are stored in our fat cells but when we do a purge of our systems for the colonoscopy the question is where are they absorbed into our blood stream from? The stomach, the small intestine..... I'm also on another medication and I have no idea where it is absorbed into the bloodstream from either. Also are we allowed to take our medications, mine is in cashew milk, while doing the purge for the procedure? I took an anatomy and physiology class at one point and most things are absorbed in the small intestine. Fat is absorbed in the large intestine. Herein lies my question about the purging of our intestines.

 

It appears that all went well for Heath though so I would imagine it wouldn't be a big deal. Something to talk to the doctor about. "

 

 

 

Hi! Tntd,

 

I had no trouble with my Valium dose when preparing for the colonoscopy. I am only on 1.06 mg Valium, once a day at bedtime. I was allowed to take my regular dose the night before and the next night after the procedure as well.  There was no break in my dose at all so I guess that might be why I had no problem with my Valium. My doc did not let me take any meds in the morning of my procedure. But since I had no morning dose, it did not matter.

 

My only concern was that they not give me any extra Valium or any kind if benzodiazapines to sedate me. I imagine that would have really messed up my very steady downward tapering. But they gave me propofol to sedate me so that did not interfere with my regular Valium either.

 

I believe that any good and caring doc would listen to a person's concerns and work with them.

 

And I am so very Sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend and the illness in your family. I do so hope all things get better for you.

 

Heath

[[Va...]]

Tntd - I'm sorry you've had some big stressors in your life. I know it just makes this that much harder. I hope every thing calms down for you and you're able to feel decent.

 

Nova - I hope you get past this latest wave and have some more windows.

 

I wish everyone a healing day!  --V

[[He...]]

Nova,  hope that last wave has subsided and you are feeling much better.

Heath

[[...]]

Hi all  This week I had a couple of good days only to be in a really bad way by the evening or the following day, but that's my bodies sign that its fighting its way back to homoeostasis, healing hurts before you stabilise,  OW! OW! OW! !@%$^&(*()_+?"!. I also had a  window that lasted a few minutes window So hang in there it will come but you have to be patient and accept that it maybe rough going for a while.

 

But it will come eventually and the changes are so subtle you can miss the fact your improving while your feeling so bergh!  You DO heal on a hold and you DO heal while you taper, as another Buddie said you should jumped because your healed not to heal while still suffering, symptoms are a sign your CNS is till destabilised and needs to be stable before you advance any further.

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten: :smitten:

Within minutes of writing this post I had one of the worse days ever which turned into one of the worst nights ever and no sleep, this is what I mean about its so unpredictable the road to stability, and the first thing you want to do is cut as the conviction that its the drug being in your body that's the problem becomes very strong. Where as cutting it too fast or too much ending up with too little of the drug that caused the problem in the first place and the problem now is we're unstable from the lack of the drug, and it makes you panic that its going wrong.

 

I also had an unexpected phone call off a couple of people  I was shocked and pleased to hear  from as its been 2 year's since we last spoke  and being pleased and laughing  also made me feel even more terrible after the call. They know nothing about my Benzo withdrawal so its not just stress that can wobble you its being happy or something and nothing. so as much as my brain screaming ''Do something go down in dose or of a lot further up I'm doing nothing all its going to do is make me even more unstable so I'm hanging on. Man!! I feel f-in tragic!! I hope it passes soon, and wish the same for everyone else thats suffering .

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

Oh Nova I'm sorry

 

You are not alone..... So frustrating to have to have the patience to hold waiting for this stabilization .

I seem to have plateaued , no improvement , but no worse , just no change , and this baseline is no where near stable enough for much of anything .

Feeling sick after eating and not sure what to eat 

 

Hang in there , keep posting , I'll be looking for your progress ,

Love, MiYu  :smitten:

[[ga...]]

So sorry about yet another wave, Nova. Hope it passes soon. Hugs to you and all who are hurting.

 

Gard

[[Ki...]]

I wonder if the colonoscopy cleaning would be similar to the question I have posted around but had no answers on. Does anyone know how donating plasma might affect a taper? I went in to donate platelets and somehow got roped in to donating platelets as well. I did not even think about it but valium hangs out for a while in plasma. I googled over and over and could not find any info on it... does anyone have any ideas? Has anyone ever heard of anyone donating during tapers? Im certainly holding for the next few weeks thats for sure...

[[Al...]]

I wonder if the colonoscopy cleaning would be similar to the question I have posted around but had no answers on. Does anyone know how donating plasma might affect a taper? I went in to donate platelets and somehow got roped in to donating platelets as well. I did not even think about it but valium hangs out for a while in plasma. I googled over and over and could not find any info on it... does anyone have any ideas? Has anyone ever heard of anyone donating during tapers? Im certainly holding for the next few weeks thats for sure...

 

Kittybeanbag,

I would suggest not dwelling on so much. It probably did little if anything to affect your overall plasma levels and if it had a major effect you would have probably felt by now. But with all worrying about I fear it may become a self fulfilling prophecy so to speak.

I have been hospitalized for an entire week and given morphine and Ativan and at the end it never effected my taper. Like you I also just held a little longer to be sure.

 

I think you will be fine! 

 

Be well. Be at peace.

 

ATU 🙏