The Long Hold Support Group

[[be...]]

Thanks Heath, and Everyone... I feel so blessed to have found a group so diverse, Where its not just about cutting a med (or not), but about all things health and life... Including distraction...

Here we can flip from deadly serious to insanely nuts, and everything inbetween, in an instant...

And do it with style, I might add...

 

My very best to All...

Yes Cant I agree, this Support Group is not all just nuts and bolts, but we have such great buddies here that give a part of themselves each time they post and we are all here for Our Belief in the Long Holds, not matter how long we hold, we are one with each other, and yes it is nice to let our hair down and let Humor rule, we all need a release at times. We are blessed to have you in our group, everyone here is a true blessing. :thumbsup:

[[no...]]

Hey there dearest scardycat buddies.

A colonoscopy is nothing compared to the hell we go through with wdsx from benzo withdrawal.

 

I posted about my concerns about my upcoming colonoscopy, only because I wanted to make sure there was nothing else I needed to tell my doc about my withdrawal than l already did.  That  I did not want any benzos to be used for sedation. Any other sedation is fine with me. I just wanted to make sure nothing would interfere with my taper.

 

But as far as the colonoscopy procedure itself, I'm telling you, it is a piece of cake.

This one will be my third. I'm telling you, you will not feel a thing other than the IV you will get for the sedative to be administered. At least that was my experience.

 

I was completely out during the procedure. Got the IV, next thing they wheeled me into the procedure room, next thing I was being gently awoken by a nurse. Procedure was finished and I didn't even know it.

 

I had a sigmoidoscopy once and it was done with no sedation at all. Not horrible but pretty bad cramping during the procedure. No fun!

 

I also had a barium enema procedure that was far worse.

 

I'll take a colonoscopy over a barium enema procedure or a sigmoidoscopy anytime.

 

A colonoscopy is painless, it is more thorough in its ability to "see" and find anything that may be wrong, and any polyps can be removed right then and there if necessary , and you won't even feel a thing. If a biopsy should be needed, that is done also at the same time, painlessly. You don't know a thing until you wake up.

 

I am only telling you all of this because I wanted to add to what ATU has already said, colon cancer is no joke and can be easily detected and cured in its early stages or even before a polyp turns cancerous.

 

Don't let fear stop you from this very valuable test.

 

The only thing that is very uncomfortable ( and I think is the only bad part) is drinking the liquid prep and taking laxatives the night before. Tastes awful. And, You normally will be sitting on the toilet on and off continually for a few hours. That part is no fun. But you have to do it so your colon will be totally clean and empty for the procedure.

 

Ok so I spelled it out.

 

Please do not skip your colonoscopies!

 

Heath 

I Promise to shut up now.

Heath good post for those that have not had the procedure, I had some real problems with my colonoscopy and that is why I am not wanting to have another one, but will speak to Doctor, as I will need to have a more advanced testing, as I did have a polyp and it was found high in colon, and I did not have any sx, I was surprised, but the reason is more complex and I can not share it as it could trigger some who have not had one yet. I am one that believes that testing for our health is really important. I will let you guys know what I can have in place of this test.  :smitten:

Here you go Sista'  there's other ways besides colonoscopies 

Dreading a Colonoscopy? Other Tests Are Just as Effective for Colon Cancer http://www.healthline.com/health-news/dreading-colonoscopy-other-effective-tests-for-colon-cancer-032015#1

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[He...]]

Good article Nova!

 

Thanks for enlightening our buddies

 

Heath

[[Ca...]]

Thanks Nova,

 

Guys, If im still here in about 8 years, be sure to remind me...!!

-now, that would be a long hold...!!

 

Drs Tomorrow, so I will say Good night early... ish

[[Ki...]]

Yes the new DNA test for colon cancer is very exciting- no danger or discomfort at all- very encouraging. Not to mention the HUGE savings in money!

[[be...]]

Thanks MiYu, but I am not afraid of the test, I just do not want to go through it again..., will ask for other ways to get a good test. I know it is something I will have to have, but will speak with my Doctor, he knows I am very proactive with my taper and my health. Thanks again.

[[He...]]

Well last night was the first night I actually slept zippo! Nothing! Not a wink! I know I'm a bit apprehensive about my colonoscopy, but really not that much.

 

I wonder,since this is day 15 of my hold, if it could be a wdsx? I have had some trouble sleeping throughout my taper but never did I have absolutely no sleep at all.

 

Is insomnia  just a part of tapering or can it actually be made worse by a cut in a person's dose?

 

Heath

[[Al...]]

Heath,

 

I would think the combination of your last cut and your anticipatory anxiety of the Colonoscopy is responsible the no sleep situation.

I too alway get anxious when going for the Colonoscopy but I think once it is over you may return to your normal sleep pattern.

 

Having said that many do suffer from insomnia. My experience has been on the eve of any worrying event I don't sleep at all. I lay awake all night thinking all the stupid negative thoughts of what can go wrong and of course never happen.

 

Hope everything goes well and you return to better sleep soon. 

 

ATU 🙏

[[Va...]]

Well last night was the first night I actually slept zippo! Nothing! Not a wink! I know I'm a bit apprehensive about my colonoscopy, but really not that much.

 

I wonder,since this is day 15 of my hold, if it could be a wdsx? I have had some trouble sleeping throughout my taper but never did I have absolutely no sleep at all.

 

Is insomnia  just a part of tapering or can it actually be made worse by a cut in a person's dose?

 

Heath

Heath, my sleep has been terrible since I started the tapering. I wake up several times a night and only occasionally sleep 5-6 hours straight. At the beginning of my taper, I went 3 weeks with little to no sleep from cutting too fast. I think it's just the nature of benzo tapering for sleep disturbances to occur. I personally try not to stress the really bad sleep nights as they just make anxiety worse. I know it's a drag, but you'll get past this little bump in the road.  --V

[[Va...]]

Dang it! I feel pretty good overall but just got a symptom I haven't had since I hit tolerance to the Valium - a feeling that I'm passing out. It just comes out of nowhere. I haven't had this at all during my taper until now. I'm sure it's just my brain adjusting but it can be disconcerting at times.

 

Hope all are doing well!  --V

[[Bl...]]

Hey all. Still struggling to stabalize on my 20mg updose. I hear so many differences in opinion on this and it is really concerning. Am i going through tolerance withdrawal? Am i going through kindling? Do i just need to give it more time? The professionals are not helpful in answering my questions. Updosing again is out of the question as it has not worked to this point and i dont want to start tapering again if i am not stable. I just wish i could get a definitive answer as to what to do, but i am doubtful anyone can really provide that for me. I hate being so negative about this and i know i prbably sound like a broken record.  Just in a really bad place right now. This has taken over every aspect of my life. Wishing everyone a blessed day and a smoth recovery.

 

Much love

BJ

My thoughts are that you will stabilize if you give it enough time. It can take several months if you've become severely destabilized. I know it's frustrating to have to wait but it should pay off in the long run. Patience is the key to holding. I know when we get in a bad place in our tapers, we stress ourselves through constant anxiety about what to do to feel better. About all we can do is do nothing and allow time to do its thing. Distraction to the best of your ability is important when you feel this way. You will get your life back as long as you accept that there will be difficult times but you will get past them and your taper may even become easier once you stabilize and taper slowly by listening to your body. Sorry you're having a rough time.  --V

Thank you for the feedback. I hope you are right. Its been about 2 months now that i have been waiting to see improvement and the longer time goes on without any progress, the more fearful and hopeless i tend to feel. Thank yall for the support. I think ineed to try to make a conscious effort to be more positive. Just really difficult time for me right now and need to get some hope back.

[[Al...]]

Dang it! I feel pretty good overall but just got a symptom I haven't had since I hit tolerance to the Valium - a feeling that I'm passing out. It just comes out of nowhere. I haven't had this at all during my taper until now. I'm sure it's just my brain adjusting but it can be disconcerting at times.

 

Hope all are doing well!  --V

 

Valley,

 

Hang in there, you are doing great.

 

I get that passing out feeling from time to time as well.

 

Considering this is day 10 or 11 since your last cut it would make sense that this might be your vulnerable time period. Perhaps try not to over do it next few days.

 

Peace & Healing

 

ATU 🙏

[[Va...]]

Dang it! I feel pretty good overall but just got a symptom I haven't had since I hit tolerance to the Valium - a feeling that I'm passing out. It just comes out of nowhere. I haven't had this at all during my taper until now. I'm sure it's just my brain adjusting but it can be disconcerting at times.

 

Hope all are doing well!  --V

 

Valley,

 

Hang in there, you are doing great.

 

I get that passing out feeling from time to time as well.

 

Considering this is day 10 or 11 since your last cut it would make sense that this might be your vulnerable time period. Perhaps try not to over dot it next few days.

 

Peace & Healing

 

ATU 🙏

Thanks ATU! --V

[[...]]

Thanks MiYu, but I am not afraid of the test, I just do not want to go through it again..., will ask for other ways to get a good test. I know it is something I will have to have, but will speak with my Doctor, he knows I am very proactive with my taper and my health. Thanks again.

 

Good for you Begood...  :smitten: I need to be proactive more with my general health too... I have become so mistrustful of the medical community ... I am going to read Novas link , thanks Nova.,  :smitten:

[[He...]]

Thanks Valley and ATU,

 

You are right. I wish I could slap myself and make myself stop worrying so much.  You are right, negative thoughts in your head, that never happen, are enough to keep you up all night, and the cutting and wdsx can also add to  the mix.

 

I hope I will see that all will return to the normal baseline for me after the procedure  is over.

 

Talk about being a scardycat! Well shut my mouth!

 

Heath  

[[...]]

I need some feedback.....please .

The last four or five days have been very rough.. Something changed and I feel really bad ,mvery weak and fragile. I don't think it's catch up from cutting , it could be a cycle of a wave , but it feels different and it's not letting up.

I am wondering if it's because I switched 2 mgs of my eve dose to liquid to prepare for when I am ready to taper again. I am using 2 mls vodka per 2 mgs Valium. I was ok before I think when I could just take the 1/4 mg in liquid , but now I'm at an even 8 , I have to dissolve a full pill and take all that in liquid.

I know Heath suggested compound , but I don't knwo if I  can get it in enough dilution to make the tiny cuts I need to make? Or can I dilute that myself , with almond oil or something ? It'd be a lot of almond oil to swallow every day! It's also expensive , tho I'd spend the money if it worked .

I'm reluctant to try PG for diluting , tho I suppose 2 mls a day of the stuff might be ok . I'm very sensitive to all kinds of things now though.

Perhaps i should get some PG and try it , in case it's the vodka?

Or can I make my own almond oil solution? Anyone try this?

I do let the vodka with the pill in it sit open all day so the alcohol airs off . And actually , I took an alcohol tincture a couple of months back when I had a kidney stone , and it disnt see, to cause me problems .... So I don't know ?

I wonder if chemically the alcohol changes something about the Valium ?

 

Lots of questions!

Hope everyone is doing well , or coping well if dealing with difficult symptoms .

Love, MiYu 

 

Ps , yes , I agree this is the best group of buddies! I feel safe here and know I won't get bad advice , it feels like a mature, experienced  and caring group of people , very grateful to you all 

 

 

[[...]]

Thanks Valley and ATU,

 

You are right. I wish I could slap myself and make myself stop worrying so much.  You are right, negative thoughts in your head, that never happen, are enough to keep you up all night, and the cutting and wdsx can also add to  the mix.

 

I hope I will see that all will return to the normal baseline for me after the ptocedure  is over.

 

Talk about being a scardycat! Well shut my mouth!

 

Heath  

 

If I knew how I would post you a cute scaredy cat pic .....no slapping yourself allowed by the way 

I know what you mean , but acceptance is better for you I think , be kind to yourself dear Heath

[[Al...]]

Miyu,

 

You raise an interesting question about the amount of vodka yo use with the pills.

I was using only enough to cover the pills, then let them sit a bit then crush the remaining clumps with the end of a spoon. This was working fine then I was told we need to use a full 2 mls per mg of Valium. That raised the amount of Vodka I now use quite a bit since I dissolve 5- 2 mg pills at a time or 10 mgs. I make a litre of mix about every 7-8 days. Then draw out my 75 mls twice a day.

I know I could make a more concentrated mix and take less but this is how a I have been doing it now for ever. Ill be watching for your responses on this one.

 

ATU 🙏

[[bl...]]

A little late to the convo but wanted to chime in on how much I appreciate you all as well. Sorry can't be more helpful on compounding. I just dry cut and hold. Cut another 1/4 last night and my eyes are going crazy. Seems too fast to have a s/x but who knows. Anyway--Heath---I get up and write all the negative thoughts down. I find actually getting out of bed and doing that helps me get back to sleep. It's like my brain can let go as it can be reassured I won't forget anything I've been obsessing about. And then, if that doesn't work, I'll sometime stake an Advil. Anyway, just two cents.

Hope everyone feeling better than I am today.

Blue

[[Va...]]

I need some feedback.....please .

The last four or five days have been very rough.. Something changed and I feel really bad ,mvery weak and fragile. I don't think it's catch up from cutting , it could be a cycle of a wave , but it feels different and it's not letting up.

I am wondering if it's because I switched 2 mgs of my eve dose to liquid to prepare for when I am ready to taper again. I am using 2 mls vodka per 2 mgs Valium. I was ok before I think when I could just take the 1/4 mg in liquid , but now I'm at an even 8 , I have to dissolve a full pill and take all that in liquid.

I know Heath suggested compound , but I don't knwo if I  can get it in enough dilution to make the tiny cuts I need to make? Or can I dilute that myself , with almond oil or something ? It'd be a lot of almond oil to swallow every day! It's also expensive , tho I'd spend the money if it worked .

I'm reluctant to try PG for diluting , tho I suppose 2 mls a day of the stuff might be ok . I'm very sensitive to all kinds of things now though.

Perhaps i should get some PG and try it , in case it's the vodka?

Or can I make my own almond oil solution? Anyone try this?

I do let the vodka with the pill in it sit open all day so the alcohol airs off . And actually , I took an alcohol tincture a couple of months back when I had a kidney stone , and it disnt see, to cause me problems .... So I don't know ?

I wonder if chemically the alcohol changes something about the Valium ?

 

Lots of questions!

Hope everyone is doing well , or coping well if dealing with difficult symptoms .

Love, MiYu 

 

Ps , yes , I agree this is the best group of buddies! I feel safe here and know I won't get bad advice , it feels like a mature, experienced  and caring group of people , very grateful to you all 

Hi MiYu. The general rule of thumb for making a solution with benzos is to use 2ml of alcohol or PG for each mg of the drug. If you are diluting a 2mg pill, you would want to use 4ml of alcohol or PG. the tiny amount of alcohol shouldn't be a concern at all as it is a tiny amount.  --V

[[...]]

Sorry you are feeling bad today Bluepill hope you feel better soon .....

 

Is anyone here using milk for their Valium titration? I can't drink regular milk , but wondering if a nut milk would work ok..... Seems as long as the fat content is there then the V will dissolve.... It's probably not an issue until I start reducing , as I'll take the whole 2 mg liquid anyway....just wondering if fat solution might be better than vodka ...

MiYu

Ps I have peroused the liquid titration forums , but still not sure  how to proceed

[[ly...]]

 

 

MiYu,

 

Are you already dissolving and taking the 2mgs?  Is there a correlation between your worsening problems and starting this?

[[...]]

I need some feedback.....please .

The last four or five days have been very rough.. Something changed and I feel really bad ,mvery weak and fragile. I don't think it's catch up from cutting , it could be a cycle of a wave , but it feels different and it's not letting up.

I am wondering if it's because I switched 2 mgs of my eve dose to liquid to prepare for when I am ready to taper again. I am using 2 mls vodka per 2 mgs Valium. I was ok before I think when I could just take the 1/4 mg in liquid , but now I'm at an even 8 , I have to dissolve a full pill and take all that in liquid.

I know Heath suggested compound , but I don't knwo if I  can get it in enough dilution to make the tiny cuts I need to make? Or can I dilute that myself , with almond oil or something ? It'd be a lot of almond oil to swallow every day! It's also expensive , tho I'd spend the money if it worked .

I'm reluctant to try PG for diluting , tho I suppose 2 mls a day of the stuff might be ok . I'm very sensitive to all kinds of things now though.

Perhaps i should get some PG and try it , in case it's the vodka?

Or can I make my own almond oil solution? Anyone try this?

I do let the vodka with the pill in it sit open all day so the alcohol airs off . And actually , I took an alcohol tincture a couple of months back when I had a kidney stone , and it disnt see, to cause me problems .... So I don't know ?

I wonder if chemically the alcohol changes something about the Valium ?

 

Lots of questions!

Hope everyone is doing well , or coping well if dealing with difficult symptoms .

Love, MiYu 

 

Ps , yes , I agree this is the best group of buddies! I feel safe here and know I won't get bad advice , it feels like a mature, experienced  and caring group of people , very grateful to you all 

Hi MiYu. The general rule of thumb for making a solution with benzos is to use 2ml of alcohol or PG for each mg of the drug. If you are diluting a 2mg pill, you would want to use 4ml of alcohol or PG. the tiny amount of alcohol shouldn't be a concern at all as it is a tiny amount.  --V

 

Thanks Valley , I guess I'm not using enough vodka then , Iv been using 1:1 vodka to Valium , not 2:1 ....I just put 2 mgs into hazelnut milk..... Will drink that tonight and see what happens!

Then I guess I'll try the 2:1 vodka and see how I do. I wonder if this is affecting my taper and why I can't seem to move forwards, aside from the need to stabilize , which I do need to find a way to do....

[[Va...]]

Sorry you are feeling bad today Bluepill hope you feel better soon .....

 

Is anyone here using milk for their Valium titration? I can't drink regular milk , but wondering if a nut milk would work ok..... Seems as long as the fat content is there then the V will dissolve.... It's probably not an issue until I start reducing , as I'll take the whole 2 mg liquid anyway....just wondering if fat solution might be better than vodka ...

MiYu

Ps I have peroused the liquid titration forums , but still not sure  how to proceed

I dilute 10mg at a time. I use five 2mg pills and dilute with 20ml of PG and 80ml of water. Each ml contains .1mg of Valium. It's pretty easy to taper using a 10ml and 1ml syringe. You can make very small cuts and you don't have to "toss" any of the solution away. Hope that helps.  --V

[[...]]

 

 

MiYu,

 

Are you already dissolving and taking the 2mgs?  Is there a correlation between your worsening problems and starting this?

 

Hi Lynn...... Well, I was taking 1/4 mg in liquid with vodka, and I didn't think that was an issue , tho as you know ive been having a very hard time stabilizing.

The first 3 or 4 days of the 2 mgs in vodka/water were like my ' normal' , not great , but not horrible , then things went south a week ago and it's been pretty hard ever since ... So .... I don't know .......?