The Long Hold Support Group

[[Al...]]

Miyu,

 

I was 53 when I started taking benzos I'm 61 now!!! All that time wasn't spent in withdrawal of course but most of it.

I have been in accute so I know how painful that is and it completely overwhelms a body. I am suffering now for sure but it is not nearly that bad. So I look at it as a painful but manageable slow decent to normalcy sort of.

Your right about the great support here,...I get none here at home, I can't even tell my wife how bad I feel because all I get is " not again,..I've heard it all before,.. snap out of it"

 

She just can't know how hard this is or how bad we feel doing it but then again I can't realy expect her to.

I really think we need to self hypnotize ourselves into believing that a lot of what we are feeling is sensations not real symptoms of some resulting syndrome or desease just sensations and they are lies all of them all brought on by negative expectations of what withdrawal is like and caused by the adjustment our brain chemistry is going through. If we can believe that we can minimize the impact of these sensations of the fear and make the road easier for us.

We are what we think so our thoughts are powerful and if we can truly control our thoughts we can control what we feel.

 

Hugs again, good night.

 

ATU 🙏

[[Va...]]

Hi everyone .... Hope all are well or coping with waves if that's what's coming.....

I seem to never  really get out of one! I occasionally have a few better hours in a day, but what's bothering me most right now , is , after only cutting 1/4 mg in six months, I tried again to make a tiny cut .... 1/30th of 1/4 mg ..... Which is my test amount cut , and I'm In a horrible wave , I feel awful , anxiety , weakness , fatigue , shaky ..... It's been a week and today is worse . I'm feeling like I just can't taper and don't know what to do. I'm not stable, and I don't know if I'll ever get stable.

 

Do these tiny cuts upset everything and is it like starting over again with a hold? I just don't get how I could be this unstable. I'm frustrated with the amount of symptoms I have with such a small reduction ,it just doesn't seem possible , but it's what's happening .

I expect it will improve , but I'll never get off like this. This is just too much suffering for such a small cut.

venting , I'm fed up with it ,  there's no way I want to updose , some might disagree ..... So I guess my only option is holding . I just wonder if I can actually taper Valium , whether it might just not be the right med for me....

Of course even dr Madill has no real insight into this. And he's supposed to be a specialist. I honestly don't know anyone , except maybe Nova, who has had this much trouble reducing.....and for a relatively short term use of benzos altogether ....

 

Very frustrated ...... 

 

MiYu

Unfortunately with benzos, even the smallest cut can cause sxs. Have you ever been stable during your taper? --V

[[...]]

Miyu,

 

I was 53 when I started taking benzos I'm 61 now!!! All that time wasn't spent in withdrawal of course but most of it.

I have been in accute so I know how painful that is and it completely overwhelms a body. I am suffering now for sure but it is not nearly that bad. So I look at it as a painful but manageable slow decent to normalcy sort of.

Your right about the great support here,...I get none here at home, I can't even tell my wife how bad I feel because all I get is " not again,..I've heard it all before,.. snap out of it"

 

She just can't know how hard this is or how bad we feel doing it but then again I can't realy expect her to.

I really think we need to self hypnotize ourselves into believing that a lot of what we are feeling is sensations not real symptoms of some resulting syndrome or desease just sensations and they are lies all of them all brought on by negative expectations of what withdrawal is like and caused by the adjustment our brain chemistry is going through. If we can believe that we can minimize the impact of these sensations of the fear and make the road easier for us.

We are what we think so our thoughts are powerful and if we can truly control our thoughts we can control what we feel.

 

Hugs again, good night.

 

ATU 🙏

 

Yes , I understand the relating to it as sensations , not a disease . I can manage that sometimes , but when I get depressed it's much harder . It's also much harder when I am physically disabled , like my legs are jelly or feel like they are filled with lead , and I really can't ' mind over matter ' it away. I've had it when I feel fine emotionally , and have the right attitude , but my legs just won't work.

So there is defintley a physical element that as far as I have been able to tell, is not ch age able or manageable by attitude . But I also do know how my mood and thoughts effect how I relate to the symptoms/ sensations  too.

 

Thanks again ATU for your wise and sweet support ,

Goodnight ,

MiYu 

[[...]]

Hi everyone .... Hope all are well or coping with waves if that's what's coming.....

I seem to never  really get out of one! I occasionally have a few better hours in a day, but what's bothering me most right now , is , after only cutting 1/4 mg in six months, I tried again to make a tiny cut .... 1/30th of 1/4 mg ..... Which is my test amount cut , and I'm In a horrible wave , I feel awful , anxiety , weakness , fatigue , shaky ..... It's been a week and today is worse . I'm feeling like I just can't taper and don't know what to do. I'm not stable, and I don't know if I'll ever get stable.

 

Do these tiny cuts upset everything and is it like starting over again with a hold? I just don't get how I could be this unstable. I'm frustrated with the amount of symptoms I have with such a small reduction ,it just doesn't seem possible , but it's what's happening .

I expect it will improve , but I'll never get off like this. This is just too much suffering for such a small cut.

venting , I'm fed up with it ,  there's no way I want to updose , some might disagree ..... So I guess my only option is holding . I just wonder if I can actually taper Valium , whether it might just not be the right med for me....

Of course even dr Madill has no real insight into this. And he's supposed to be a specialist. I honestly don't know anyone , except maybe Nova, who has had this much trouble reducing.....and for a relatively short term use of benzos altogether ....

 

Very frustrated ...... 

 

MiYu

Unfortunately with benzos, even the smallest cut can cause sxs. Have you ever been stable during your taper? --V

 

Hi Valley , no , I don't think I've ever been stable since I started tapering . I was stable ish before I started , I actually felt pretty good for a couple of weeks after I finished my cross from K to V , almost normal......I could walk quite far and felt really ok. As soon as I started cutting I went into WDs . And I started with DMT . I never did cut and hold.

So since the beginning of my taper I've never been stable , even with the six months of super slow.....

 

 

[[...]]

Do I need to updose I wonder ? Oh , that would feel like such a waste , and no guarantees .....there never are any though are there with this process.....

[[He...]]

Hello!

I am doing pretty well. I am in day 10 of my hold after a .02 mg Valium cut. No wdsx except very sleepy in late afternoon. But can't fall aslepp. Sleep not great but passable. Just learning to live with less sleep than I would like! Will cut 03 the next cut.

Seems like holding the almost 4 months last autumn really got me to a place wher I could start to tAper again with very little wdsx. Now I just hope I don't mess my self up by going too fast with my taper.

 

I hope, Cantfly, ATU, MiYu, Tnnt, that your days become easier, that you get lots of Windows, and that you begin to feel really stable in the recent days ahead.

 

Heath

[[Ca...]]

Wow!!!

-Thanks Everyone for your well wishes...

-It Did Go very well, and was productive...

Valley, your LDN thoughts were on the money, and he enderstood exactly the idea...

 

Anyways, I just put it in my blog, with some stuff... I didnt know, but he actually specialises in benzos...

-link is under my sig...

 

Sorry For those having such a hard time, -It is so unfair...

-and good to hear of the windows too...

 

MiYu, keep looking for ways and answers, keep hope alive... Things can and do change... -I live on the words -maybe, perhaps, and what if...

wishing you super strength, and change in the wind...

 

Thank you Everyone...

CF.

 

[[Va...]]

Hi everyone .... Hope all are well or coping with waves if that's what's coming.....

I seem to never  really get out of one! I occasionally have a few better hours in a day, but what's bothering me most right now , is , after only cutting 1/4 mg in six months, I tried again to make a tiny cut .... 1/30th of 1/4 mg ..... Which is my test amount cut , and I'm In a horrible wave , I feel awful , anxiety , weakness , fatigue , shaky ..... It's been a week and today is worse . I'm feeling like I just can't taper and don't know what to do. I'm not stable, and I don't know if I'll ever get stable.

 

Do these tiny cuts upset everything and is it like starting over again with a hold? I just don't get how I could be this unstable. I'm frustrated with the amount of symptoms I have with such a small reduction ,it just doesn't seem possible , but it's what's happening .

I expect it will improve , but I'll never get off like this. This is just too much suffering for such a small cut.

venting , I'm fed up with it ,  there's no way I want to updose , some might disagree ..... So I guess my only option is holding . I just wonder if I can actually taper Valium , whether it might just not be the right med for me....

Of course even dr Madill has no real insight into this. And he's supposed to be a specialist. I honestly don't know anyone , except maybe Nova, who has had this much trouble reducing.....and for a relatively short term use of benzos altogether ....

 

Very frustrated ...... 

 

MiYu

Unfortunately with benzos, even the smallest cut can cause sxs. Have you ever been stable during your taper? --V

 

Hi Valley , no , I don't think I've ever been stable since I started tapering . I was stable ish before I started , I actually felt pretty good for a couple of weeks after I finished my cross from K to V , almost normal......I could walk quite far and felt really ok. As soon as I started cutting I went into WDs . And I started with DMT . I never did cut and hold.

So since the beginning of my taper I've never been stable , even with the six months of super slow.....

Hi MiYu. Sorry to hear about the difficulties you're having. Holding longer would probably help. At least that has been my experience. I saw the updosing question and it may be something to consider. Have you posted on the updosing support group? Hope you get to a stable place soon! --V

[[Va...]]

Hello!

I am doing pretty well. I am in day 10 of my hold after a .02 mg Valium cut. No wdsx except very sleepy in late afternoon. But can't fall aslepp. Sleep not great but passable. Just learning to live with less sleep than I would like! Will cut 03 the next cut.

Seems like holding the almost 4 months last autumn really got me to a place wher I could start to tAper again with very little wdsx. Now I just hope I don't mess my self up by going too fast with my taper.

 

I hope, Cantfly, ATU, MiYu, Tnnt, that your days become easier, that you get lots of Windows, and that you begin to feel really stable in the recent days ahead.

 

Heath

That's great Heath! 

[[Va...]]

Wow!!!

-Thanks Everyone for your well wishes...

-It Did Go very well, and was productive...

Valley, your LDN thoughts were on the money, and he enderstood exactly the idea...

 

Anyways, I just put it in my blog, with some stuff... I didnt know, but he actually specialises in benzos...

-link is under my sig...

 

Sorry For those having such a hard time, -It is so unfair...

-and good to hear of the windows too...

 

MiYu, keep looking for ways and answers, keep hope alive... Things can and do change... -I live on the words -maybe, perhaps, and what if...

wishing you super strength, and change in the wind...

 

Thank you Everyone...

CF.

Glad your appointment went well!  --V

[[Al...]]

Heath,

 

Glad to hear you are feeling better! 

 

We just don't know what is in store for us around the corner of we. We can go from feeling very poorly to feeling great the next day. It is so unpredictable.

We always have hope and hope combined with faith can work miracles.

 

ATU 🙏

[[be...]]

Wow!!!

-Thanks Everyone for your well wishes...

-It Did Go very well, and was productive...

Valley, your LDN thoughts were on the money, and he enderstood exactly the idea...

 

Anyways, I just put it in my blog, with some stuff... I didnt know, but he actually specialises in benzos...

-link is under my sig...

 

Sorry For those having such a hard time, -It is so unfair...

-and good to hear of the windows too...

 

MiYu, keep looking for ways and answers, keep hope alive... Things can and do change... -I live on the words -maybe, perhaps, and what if...

wishing you super strength, and change in the wind...

 

Thank you Everyone...

CF.

Glad your appointment went well!  --V

So glad you have found a good Doctor that knows what is what, keep us imformed as you go along.  :smitten:

[[Ca...]]

Wow!!!

-Thanks Everyone for your well wishes...

-It Did Go very well, and was productive...

Valley, your LDN thoughts were on the money, and he enderstood exactly the idea...

 

Anyways, I just put it in my blog, with some stuff... I didnt know, but he actually specialises in benzos...

-link is under my sig...

 

Sorry For those having such a hard time, -It is so unfair...

-and good to hear of the windows too...

 

MiYu, keep looking for ways and answers, keep hope alive... Things can and do change... -I live on the words -maybe, perhaps, and what if...

wishing you super strength, and change in the wind...

 

Thank you Everyone...

CF.

Glad your appointment went well!  --V

So glad you have found a good Doctor that knows what is what, keep us imformed as you go along.  :smitten:

Thanks Guys, Back there in 6 weeks, all going well...

 

[[no...]]

Hi everyone .... Hope all are well or coping with waves if that's what's coming.....

I seem to never  really get out of one! I occasionally have a few better hours in a day, but what's bothering me most right now , is , after only cutting 1/4 mg in six months, I tried again to make a tiny cut .... 1/30th of 1/4 mg ..... Which is my test amount cut , and I'm In a horrible wave , I feel awful , anxiety , weakness , fatigue , shaky ..... It's been a week and today is worse . I'm feeling like I just can't taper and don't know what to do. I'm not stable, and I don't know if I'll ever get stable.

 

Do these tiny cuts upset everything and is it like starting over again with a hold? I just don't get how I could be this unstable. I'm frustrated with the amount of symptoms I have with such a small reduction ,it just doesn't seem possible , but it's what's happening .

I expect it will improve , but I'll never get off like this. This is just too much suffering for such a small cut.

venting , I'm fed up with it ,  there's no way I want to updose , some might disagree ..... So I guess my only option is holding . I just wonder if I can actually taper Valium , whether it might just not be the right med for me....

Of course even dr Madill has no real insight into this. And he's supposed to be a specialist. I honestly don't know anyone , except maybe Nova, who has had this much trouble reducing.....and for a relatively short term use of benzos altogether ....

 

Very frustrated ...... 

 

MiYu

 

Hi M I'm still really suffering    :D but waves and windows are all part of long holds , you can either keep holding at the dose you cut to, or go back, if it was me I would go back before the cut as its practically non existent, and carry on holding there as you were getting windows . Read the post below I hope it helps 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

Thank you for verifying what I kind of suspected. There has been, and continues to be that window/wave pattern to this hold. I actually wasn't sure if this was something unique to me, but even then, I figured I just had to continue holding whether it is unique or not.

 

And now that the 6 month time has past, I'm going through another wave. So I'll definitely be continuing the hold. I didn't realize that this was typical of benzos at all, but its more knowledge that not only helps me "cope," but it's knowledge I think I need to be able to relay to others if the need arises. It almost feels like "Part 2" is happening now with this continuation as sx are changing, and yet they still are definitely sx of an unstable CNS.

 

I have to admit that the hold itself with these windows and waves is a stressor all by itself. When the windows occur, I'm consistently myself all day and evening, and this lasts for about a month to 6 weeks, but with that last two weeks I start slipping into a wave kind of gradually, and I don't always see it coming. And then, I'm fully in that wave, and I'm not me consistently throughout the day, and it's even hard to fully remember how good I felt during the window. And it feels kind of awful with some emotional, physical and cognitive sx.

 

I'm glad I'm here too! Thank you for saying that. I've learned a lot the hard way about benzos, and I'm glad to share what I do know.

[[no...]]

Wow!!!

-Thanks Everyone for your well wishes...

-It Did Go very well, and was productive...

Valley, your LDN thoughts were on the money, and he enderstood exactly the idea...

 

Anyways, I just put it in my blog, with some stuff... I didnt know, but he actually specialises in benzos...

-link is under my sig...

 

Sorry For those having such a hard time, -It is so unfair...

-and good to hear of the windows too...

 

MiYu, keep looking for ways and answers, keep hope alive... Things can and do change... -I live on the words -maybe, perhaps, and what if...

wishing you super strength, and change in the wind...

 

Thank you Everyone...

CF.

Glad your appointment went well!  --V

So glad you have found a good Doctor that knows what is what, keep us imformed as you go along.  :smitten:

Thanks Guys, Back there in 6 weeks, all going well...

G'Day Cobber  Nice to see your appointment had a good conclusion mate 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[Ca...]]

Wow!!!

-Thanks Everyone for your well wishes...

-It Did Go very well, and was productive...

Valley, your LDN thoughts were on the money, and he enderstood exactly the idea...

 

Anyways, I just put it in my blog, with some stuff... I didnt know, but he actually specialises in benzos...

-link is under my sig...

 

Sorry For those having such a hard time, -It is so unfair...

-and good to hear of the windows too...

 

MiYu, keep looking for ways and answers, keep hope alive... Things can and do change... -I live on the words -maybe, perhaps, and what if...

wishing you super strength, and change in the wind...

 

Thank you Everyone...

CF.

Glad your appointment went well!  --V

So glad you have found a good Doctor that knows what is what, keep us imformed as you go along.  :smitten:

Thanks Guys, Back there in 6 weeks, all going well...

G'Day Cobber  Nice to see your appointment had a good conclusion mate 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

Hey there Supa Nova...!!!  -Thanks

 

Sorry u still not doing so well, but you still ARE an inspiration...

Pls get well real soon...

Oo

 

[[no...]]

Wow!!!

-Thanks Everyone for your well wishes...

-It Did Go very well, and was productive...

Valley, your LDN thoughts were on the money, and he enderstood exactly the idea...

 

Anyways, I just put it in my blog, with some stuff... I didnt know, but he actually specialises in benzos...

-link is under my sig...

 

Sorry For those having such a hard time, -It is so unfair...

-and good to hear of the windows too...

 

MiYu, keep looking for ways and answers, keep hope alive... Things can and do change... -I live on the words -maybe, perhaps, and what if...

wishing you super strength, and change in the wind...

 

Thank you Everyone...

CF.

Glad your appointment went well!  --V

So glad you have found a good Doctor that knows what is what, keep us imformed as you go along.  :smitten:

Thanks Guys, Back there in 6 weeks, all going well...

G'Day Cobber  Nice to see your appointment had a good conclusion mate 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

Hey there Supa Nova...!!!  -Thanks

 

Sorry u still not doing so well, but you still ARE an inspiration...

Pls get well real soon...

Oo

Thanks CF

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[He...]]

:thumbsup:l

Wow!!!

-Thanks Everyone for your well wishes...

-It Did Go very well, and was productive...

Valley, your LDN thoughts were on the money, and he enderstood exactly the idea...

 

Anyways, I just put it in my blog, with some stuff... I didnt know, but he actually specialises in benzos...

-link is under my sig...

 

Sorry For those having such a hard time, -It is so unfair...

-and good to hear of the windows too...

 

MiYu, keep looking for ways and answers, keep hope alive... Things can and do change... -I live on the words -maybe, perhaps, and what if...

wishing you super strength, and change in the wind...

 

Thank you Everyone...

CF.

 

Wow that must have been a very encouraging visit. And to actually have a doc that specializes in Benzos is almost unheard of! I am very happy for you that all went well.

I'm going to read your blog.

 

Heath

[[Go...]]

Just new but I'd like in as I know I need to hold and stabilize for awhile after my doctor cut me from 2 K down to .25 in less than a month!  Thank God I had the sense to finally stop and come looking for you guys.

 

Wishing everyone well.

Glo

[[...]]

Hi everyone .... Hope all are well or coping with waves if that's what's coming.....

I seem to never  really get out of one! I occasionally have a few better hours in a day, but what's bothering me most right now , is , after only cutting 1/4 mg in six months, I tried again to make a tiny cut .... 1/30th of 1/4 mg ..... Which is my test amount cut , and I'm In a horrible wave , I feel awful , anxiety , weakness , fatigue , shaky ..... It's been a week and today is worse . I'm feeling like I just can't taper and don't know what to do. I'm not stable, and I don't know if I'll ever get stable.

 

Do these tiny cuts upset everything and is it like starting over again with a hold? I just don't get how I could be this unstable. I'm frustrated with the amount of symptoms I have with such a small reduction ,it just doesn't seem possible , but it's what's happening .

I expect it will improve , but I'll never get off like this. This is just too much suffering for such a small cut.

venting , I'm fed up with it ,  there's no way I want to updose , some might disagree ..... So I guess my only option is holding . I just wonder if I can actually taper Valium , whether it might just not be the right med for me....

Of course even dr Madill has no real insight into this. And he's supposed to be a specialist. I honestly don't know anyone , except maybe Nova, who has had this much trouble reducing.....and for a relatively short term use of benzos altogether ....

 

Very frustrated ...... 

 

MiYu

 

Hi M I'm still really suffering    :D but waves and windows are all part of long holds , you can either keep holding at the dose you cut to, or go back, if it was me I would go back before the cut as its practically non existent, and carry on holding there as you were getting windows . Read the post below I hope it helps 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

Thank you for verifying what I kind of suspected. There has been, and continues to be that window/wave pattern to this hold. I actually wasn't sure if this was something unique to me, but even then, I figured I just had to continue holding whether it is unique or not.

 

And now that the 6 month time has past, I'm going through another wave. So I'll definitely be continuing the hold. I didn't realize that this was typical of benzos at all, but its more knowledge that not only helps me "cope," but it's knowledge I think I need to be able to relay to others if the need arises. It almost feels like "Part 2" is happening now with this continuation as sx are changing, and yet they still are definitely sx of an unstable CNS.

 

I have to admit that the hold itself with these windows and waves is a stressor all by itself. When the windows occur, I'm consistently myself all day and evening, and this lasts for about a month to 6 weeks, but with that last two weeks I start slipping into a wave kind of gradually, and I don't always see it coming. And then, I'm fully in that wave, and I'm not me consistently throughout the day, and it's even hard to fully remember how good I felt during the window. And it feels kind of awful with some emotional, physical and cognitive sx.

 

I'm glad I'm here too! Thank you for saying that. I've learned a lot the hard way about benzos, and I'm glad to share what I do know.

 

Dear Nova , I'm sorry you are still suffering so much.... Hold on ! 

Your words give me hope , thank you for the quote.... I get scared , a lot, that a long hold will get me into tolerance .... I know I know ..... It's probably highly unlikely , and the fact is that I did get some , tho very few better days , maybe 4 in six months! My baseline is pretty unstable all the time. In some ways I feel I've gotten worse, but things have changed, it's hard to describe how exactly. I guess the symptoms have changed, which I know is very common. So , with this in mind , I am going to go back to my 8 mgs day, as before this last minute cut , and keep holding there. I might as well , as I feel like giving up anyway! I'm not going to , just trying to find my way through .

 

Sending you love and hugs and praying that things will get better for you much sooner than later .

MiYu  :smitten: :hug:

[[...]]

Sending everyone love , thinking of you .... Happy for those doing well!  and lots of hugs for those having troubles ...... Hang In there,

MiYu  :hug:

[[...]]

Just new but I'd like in as I know I need to hold and stabilize for awhile after my doctor cut me from 2 K down to .25 in less than a month!  Thank God I had the sense to finally stop and come looking for you guys.

 

Wishing everyone well.

Glo

GLo , welcome to a great group ..... You're in the right place .

Stupid Doctor ..... I do hope you are ok ,

and you are doing the right thing holding for sure  MiYu

[[...]]

Hello!

I am doing pretty well. I am in day 10 of my hold after a .02 mg Valium cut. No wdsx except very sleepy in late afternoon. But can't fall aslepp. Sleep not great but passable. Just learning to live with less sleep than I would like! Will cut 03 the next cut.

Seems like holding the almost 4 months last autumn really got me to a place wher I could start to tAper again with very little wdsx. Now I just hope I don't mess my self up by going too fast with my taper.

 

I hope, Cantfly, ATU, MiYu, Tnnt, that your days become easier, that you get lots of Windows, and that you begin to feel really stable in the recent days ahead.

 

Heath

 

Such good news Heath! Gives me hope , love MiYu  :smitten:

[[...]]

Wow!!!

-Thanks Everyone for your well wishes...

-It Did Go very well, and was productive...

Valley, your LDN thoughts were on the money, and he enderstood exactly the idea...

 

Anyways, I just put it in my blog, with some stuff... I didnt know, but he actually specialises in benzos...

-link is under my sig...

 

Sorry For those having such a hard time, -It is so unfair...

-and good to hear of the windows too...

 

MiYu, keep looking for ways and answers, keep hope alive... Things can and do change... -I live on the words -maybe, perhaps, and what if...

wishing you super strength, and change in the wind...

 

Thank you Everyone...

CF.

 

Thank you CF 

So glad things went well, maybe you'll be able to pass on some words of wisdom , ( more  ) with what this doctor is able to tell you. My doc is useless really , I guess mostly I feel he just doesn't care enough to really help, even though he is benzo wise .....

I'm so grateful for this group and the encouragement I get here, from everyone , it's the best group ever !

I've decided to add 50 mgs gabapentin to my morning , and see if it helps at all . I feel that once I'm off the V , the gabapentin won't be anything like as hard! For me anyway.

You're doing great!

Love, MiYu

[[...]]

Hi everyone .... Hope all are well or coping with waves if that's what's coming.....

I seem to never  really get out of one! I occasionally have a few better hours in a day, but what's bothering me most right now , is , after only cutting 1/4 mg in six months, I tried again to make a tiny cut .... 1/30th of 1/4 mg ..... Which is my test amount cut , and I'm In a horrible wave , I feel awful , anxiety , weakness , fatigue , shaky ..... It's been a week and today is worse . I'm feeling like I just can't taper and don't know what to do. I'm not stable, and I don't know if I'll ever get stable.

 

Do these tiny cuts upset everything and is it like starting over again with a hold? I just don't get how I could be this unstable. I'm frustrated with the amount of symptoms I have with such a small reduction ,it just doesn't seem possible , but it's what's happening .

I expect it will improve , but I'll never get off like this. This is just too much suffering for such a small cut.

venting , I'm fed up with it ,  there's no way I want to updose , some might disagree ..... So I guess my only option is holding . I just wonder if I can actually taper Valium , whether it might just not be the right med for me....

Of course even dr Madill has no real insight into this. And he's supposed to be a specialist. I honestly don't know anyone , except maybe Nova, who has had this much trouble reducing.....and for a relatively short term use of benzos altogether ....

 

Very frustrated ...... 

 

MiYu

Unfortunately with benzos, even the smallest cut can cause sxs. Have you ever been stable during your taper? --V

 

Hi Valley , no , I don't think I've ever been stable since I started tapering . I was stable ish before I started , I actually felt pretty good for a couple of weeks after I finished my cross from K to V , almost normal......I could walk quite far and felt really ok. As soon as I started cutting I went into WDs . And I started with DMT . I never did cut and hold.

So since the beginning of my taper I've never been stable , even with the six months of super slow.....

Hi MiYu. Sorry to hear about the difficulties you're having. Holding longer would probably help. At least that has been my experience. I saw the updosing question and it may be something to consider. Have you posted on the updosing support group? Hope you get to a stable place soon! --V

 

Thanks Valley 

Thanks to you and the great support here, and Nova's post , I'm going to go back to 8 mgs , stay there for a while and see how I do . I want to find out what stable feels like!

I'm also going to add back in 50 mgs gabapentin in the mornings and see if that helps .

I'm taking 2 mgs LDN , do you know if it's supposed to help depression? I think being depressed is not helping my process , the mind gets so negative about life .im thinking I should try upping my LDN to 3 mgs and see what happens ......so far it hasn't helped with pain relief, I think it helps with energy.

What time of day do you take yours? I've been taking mine around 5 pm , then it doesn't interfere with my sleep at all.

Thanks for everything Valley , so glad your taper is going well now..... There is hope!

Love, MiYu