The Long Hold Support Group

[[Va...]]

Two failed tapers by Psychiatrist who don't know squat about withdrawl. Now I am terrified to try again ( 3% slow microtapering milk) and terrified to stay on the K for fear of tolerence withdrawl symptoms....Like when my Xanax suddenly stopped working. What do you do when you just want to give up? How do you keep going?  I'm anxious either way. Does anyone just decide to stay on the benzos? I'm 57 and don't think my body can handle withdrawl again. Help.

I think some people decide to stay on however there are some drawbacks. If you are a person who becomes tolerant then you will most likely become tolerant and will have to increase the dose to continue getting the desired effect. I hate going through this process but know life will be better on the other side. You're still young enough to have a decent quality of life.  I can't tell you what to do but I can offer the advice of overcoming the fear. Just accept that you will be uncomfortable at times and try to be as productive as possible. Always listen to your body and try not to push through intolerable sxs. If you're slow and careful you will make it off.

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. There is no judgment here. Just do what you think is best for you.  --V

[[Me...]]

Thanks Valley Umm.........It took about 30 years to build up tolerence 5o Xanax. My Genesight test showed I do very well with all benzos but the trauma of the WD they put me through just weighs on my mind, hovering over me like a constant threat. ..........I wonder if this is a wave from the stupid 1/8 mg cut 2 months ago. Do you think it could be?  I have some nausea, tearful and the worry. I had a two week window a week ago and thought I was done with waves. When I made the 1/8 mg cut, I only held it for 10 days before having to revert back to my original 2mg. What do you think?

[[Va...]]

Thanks Valley Umm.........It took about 30 years to build up tolerence 5o Xanax. My Genesight test showed I do very well with all benzos but the trauma of the WD they put me through just weighs on my mind, hovering over me like a constant threat. ..........I wonder if this is a wave from the stupid 1/8 mg cut 2 months ago. Do you think it could be?  I have some nausea, tearful and the worry. I had a two week window a week ago and thought I was done with waves. When I made the 1/8 mg cut, I only held it for 10 days before having to revert back to my original 2mg. What do you think?

It could be from the cut or just the normal pattern of windows and waves as your body tries to adjust to lower doses. Delayed withdrawal is certainly an issue during benzo tapering. Hopefully the waves will pass quickly.  --V

[[Ki...]]

Two failed tapers by Psychiatrist who don't know squat about withdrawl. Now I am terrified to try again ( 3% slow microtapering milk) and terrified to stay on the K for fear of tolerence withdrawl symptoms....Like when my Xanax suddenly stopped working. What do you do when you just want to give up? How do you keep going?  I'm anxious either way. Does anyone just decide to stay on the benzos? I'm 57 and don't think my body can handle withdrawl again. Help.

Im 52. I had a failed taper and did not even know it- I blamed my psychotic breakdown on taking a nutritional supplement. After a week of not sleeping, hallucinating etc I decided to take 3 xanax and all was right with the world. Even after that I did not figure it out- years later when tolerance set in and I found this forum I figured it out. I dont have a fear of it not working out though. My crossover to valium was a horrible thing but I got through it and since that time, I knew I could do it. Im almost halfway through. I have good days and bad days. But each day is a day closer, and I am not in a hurry. I messed up enough to know its better to do it right. I hope you decide you can do it, but it is a scary step to take. I just knew I could not keep going up because it would keep dragging me back down. I wish you luck. You will find a lot of scary stories on here, but even more hope and encouragement. Remember- you may not see a whole lot of people at times who are having an easy time of it because they are out enjoying the sunshine. I hope one day you will be able to join them !

[[ga...]]

Thanks, Lynn. I think I may try cutting once/week and see how that goes. I was planning to do a hold because of some upcoming events, but they have been postponed, so I may try a bit bigger than normal cut tonight and then hold the rest of the week. then maybe try a  bit bigger the next time.

 

V or others on slow benzos, when do you think symptoms will kick in from a cut? I was a Xanax person before.

 

Gard

[[Me...]]

Lynne,

I was an X person before K. Now it takes 7-10 days for the taper or WD symptoms to hit me.....And they hit hard!

[[Va...]]

Thanks, Lynn. I think I may try cutting once/week and see how that goes. I was planning to do a hold because of some upcoming events, but they have been postponed, so I may try a bit bigger than normal cut tonight and then hold the rest of the week. then maybe try a  bit bigger the next time.

 

V or others on slow benzos, when do you think symptoms will kick in from a cut? I was a Xanax person before.

 

Gard

I would guess 3 to 10 days gard.  --V

[[ly...]]

Lynne,

I was an X person before K. Now it takes 7-10 days for the taper or WD symptoms to hit me.....And they hit hard!

 

Hi Mellow,

 

How are you feeling these days?  It sounds like things are on the upswing.  There are many people here who have reinstated from failed tapers and c/t's and have gone on to have manageable, successful tapers.  Try not to let your awful c/t experience influence you too much.  There is every reason to believe that a slow careful taper will go well.

 

Just wait until you are good and stable and then proceed slowly.  Maybe cut .0625?  See how that goes.  I know it made a huge difference for me when I reduced my cuts and held 30 days between them.  It may seem like a long road but it goes by very quickly.  I've been able (after a few missteps!) to have a very decent taper.  I still have wd but it's usually not too bad and, mostly, I feel pretty good.

 

(Xanax is pretty predictable and I usually feel cuts on the 3rd)

[[...]]

Thanks, Lynn. I think I may try cutting once/week and see how that goes. I was planning to do a hold because of some upcoming events, but they have been postponed, so I may try a bit bigger than normal cut tonight and then hold the rest of the week. then maybe try a  bit bigger the next time.

 

V or others on slow benzos, when do you think symptoms will kick in from a cut? I was a Xanax person before.

 

Gard

 

Hi Gard , Valley , ATU , Lynn, and those who have commented on this way of tapering.

I ambeginning to feel the same way.....

I don't  know what day is relative to which day of reduction ( the few that ive made ) , so I'm thinkIng when I do start tapering again , I will try this approach , a small cut on one day , and then wait til I go through a cycle that I can recognize ( hopefully ) .

 

And BIG news ..... Ive finally made it down to 8 mgs ..... Omg ..... .. A small victory , but I tell myself at least it is a victory and it's less than I was on before. It's been a very rough 6 months , of what I consider a 'hold'- during this time I have cut  1/4 mg of V .

 

Since I made the last 4 /30 ths of 1/4 mg cut , ( over 5 days)I am definitely recovering faster than the last time I tried it.... It was three weeks the last time , and this time it's been 10 days and I am starting to see improvements . So fingers crossed , and if I don't push my luck , I will be able to find some kind of way forwards that won't include the hell I went through after the first four months that I tapered( last June- sept) .

 

Had a little freak out last night after reading someone's post about protracted WD..... Shouldn't read those posts , starts all the 'what if ' thoughts. 

 

Hope everyone is coping well,

Love, MiYu 

[[ly...]]

 

 

Wonderful news MiYu!

 

I found that my taper went far smoother once I had held long enough to feel well and get the ship righted.

[[be...]]

MiYu, any cut no matter how small or big, is a milestone, pat yourself on the back, Good Job, and you sound like that things are taking a turn for the better, hang on and it will get even better. Time does go faster than you think and just go with the flow.

[[Me...]]

MiYu, Sounds like a great plan. I will keep it in the forefront of my mind.

Mellowplease

[[Va...]]

MiYu that's great!

[[...]]

Thank you all!  :hug:

[[He...]]

Sorry I have not been posting. I'm here in N. J. Visiting with my sister and the rest if my family. Feeling good and almost normal. Wish I could just stop my taper for good. It feels so good to be normal. But I know I must go on. I'll be home in two days and I'll start cutting again by .02 or .03 but with a decent hold between each cut. What my body tells me will determine my hold.

 

Problem now is I can't sleep because I have HORRIBLE ACID REFLUX. never had it before! Don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

 

Thus is not a wdsx is it? I have not cut, and I really do think it is maybe sometging I ate. It only just started last night and it's now 4 a.m. And I can't sleep it's so bad!

 

Suggestions please

 

Thanks,  Heath

 

[[be...]]

Sorry I have not been posting. I'm here in N. J. Visiting with my sister and the rest if my family. Feeling good and almost normal. Wish I could just stop my taper for good. It feels so good to be normal. But I know I must go on. I'll be home in two days and I'll start cutting again by .02 or .03 but with a decent hold between each cut. What my body tells me will determine my hold.

 

Problem now is I can't sleep because I have HORRIBLE ACID REFLUX. never had it before! Don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

 

Thus is not a wdsx is it? I have not cut, and I really do think it is maybe something I ate. It only just started last night and it's now 4 a.m. And I can't sleep it's so bad!

 

Suggestions please

 

Thanks,  Heath

Glad you feel almost normal, that is a good guide line for you to remember not to push but to go with the flow. I do not know if it is acid reflux or if it is caused by the wd, but I know I had a little man sitting on my chest not unlike the feelings I had with my Gerd and the acid stuff also and I had been dx years ago with it, I took d-limodene for it from Amazon by Jarrow and I am not having problems anymore, but I knew what was going on. If you take Valium you can not take Prilosec, it says it right on the back of pkg. Hope you feel better, another thing you might try is Gaviscon Liq, it works for Gerd and heartburn. But if not comfortable a Doctor should be seen. Hope you feel better later. Hang in there  :smitten:

[[Va...]]

Sorry I have not been posting. I'm here in N. J. Visiting with my sister and the rest if my family. Feeling good and almost normal. Wish I could just stop my taper for good. It feels so good to be normal. But I know I must go on. I'll be home in two days and I'll start cutting again by .02 or .03 but with a decent hold between each cut. What my body tells me will determine my hold.

 

Problem now is I can't sleep because I have HORRIBLE ACID REFLUX. never had it before! Don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

 

Thus is not a wdsx is it? I have not cut, and I really do think it is maybe sometging I ate. It only just started last night and it's now 4 a.m. And I can't sleep it's so bad!

 

Suggestions please

 

Thanks,  Heath

So good to hear Heath! I don't know much about the acid reflux as a withdrawal symptom although I'm sure it could be as benzos most definitely have an impact on gut function. Probiotics may help.  --V

[[Ca...]]

Hey Heath, I see a fair few post about it as Wd Sx... -I had a bout of it pre benzo, from another med...

I used gaviscon chewable tablets... -but the best was propping my bed head up about 2inches, hardly noticable... but you could use a couple of pillows for a quick trial...

Hope something works quick for you...

Best wishes...

 

Hi To All...

[[Al...]]

Miyu,

 

Good for you and your positive attitude will go a long way in carrying you through this road ahead! 

 

I believe in holding until things are good. Then cut and slay the dragon again and again. 

 

ATU 🙏

[[Bl...]]

Hello all.  Just wanted some feedback.  Ive been holding on 20mg for about 5 weeks after having to updose.  I have been experiencing okay weeks and bad weeks.  Woke up to some very bad anxiety this morning after coming off of a good week of vacation last week.  I would really like to see some consistent improvement, but it hasnt seemed to be happy yet.  Admittedly feeling a bit hopeless and pessimistic right now even though i dont want to be.  This is the most difficult thing i have ever been through.  I keep praying that things turn around for me, but i cant seem to put together more than a week of feeling okay before my anxiety comes back.  Updosing any more is out of the question.  I am just really trying to find some hope that i can find myself again someday.  I have so far to go and i am far from stable.  Just having a really bad day.  I dont mean to be a debbie downer and i dont like to post horror stories.  I just find myself doubting if i will ever really make it through this.  I just felt like i needed to get this out to people who understand what i am going through.

 

God bless

BJ

[[Va...]]

Hello all.  Just wanted some feedback.  Ive been holding on 20mg for about 5 weeks after having to updose.  I have been experiencing okay weeks and bad weeks.  Woke up to some very bad anxiety this morning after coming off of a good week of vacation last week.  I would really like to see some consistent improvement, but it hasnt seemed to be happy yet.  Admittedly feeling a bit hopeless and pessimistic right now even though i dont want to be.  This is the most difficult thing i have ever been through.  I keep praying that things turn around for me, but i cant seem to put together more than a week of feeling okay before my anxiety comes back.  Updosing any more is out of the question.  I am just really trying to find some hope that i can find myself again someday.  I have so far to go and i am far from stable.  Just having a really bad day.  I dont mean to be a debbie downer and i dont like to post horror stories.  I just find myself doubting if i will ever really make it through this.  I just felt like i needed to get this out to people who understand what i am going through.

 

God bless

BJ

Hi Blackjack! I think we've all felt like you do now so you don't have to apologize. It may take a good while to get stable with the changes you've made. The fact that you have periods of doing well is a very good sign. Don't beat yourself up. You can get through this. It may take longer than you planned but I'd you go slow and listen to your body, chances are you will do fine. Try to distract as much as possible. I have had a relatively decent taper since fall but I also have some very rough mornings. As long as I stay busy I seem to feel much better in the evenings. I'm sure others will chime in.  --V

[[Ca...]]

Hello all.  Just wanted some feedback.  Ive been holding on 20mg for about 5 weeks after having to updose.  I have been experiencing okay weeks and bad weeks.  Woke up to some very bad anxiety this morning after coming off of a good week of vacation last week.  I would really like to see some consistent improvement, but it hasnt seemed to be happy yet.  Admittedly feeling a bit hopeless and pessimistic right now even though i dont want to be.  This is the most difficult thing i have ever been through.  I keep praying that things turn around for me, but i cant seem to put together more than a week of feeling okay before my anxiety comes back.  Updosing any more is out of the question.  I am just really trying to find some hope that i can find myself again someday.  I have so far to go and i am far from stable.  Just having a really bad day.  I dont mean to be a debbie downer and i dont like to post horror stories.  I just find myself doubting if i will ever really make it through this.  I just felt like i needed to get this out to people who understand what i am going through.

 

God bless

BJ

Hey BJ...!!

I was just wondering how you were going only just yesterday..!!!

 

My personal thoughts are that things are working their way to stability, and healing is happening...

 

I know we cant predict anothers taper or experience...

 

But i see similarities to my very non liniar hold and stabalization...

 

Then I thought I was right, and broke the egg with a way to big a cut, a bit too soon...

 

Try to ride it out, I suspect you are close... I know its been rough, and a bit drawn out for you, but pls dont lose hope just yet...

Time spent now will be time saved later, and more to the point, probably a lot less pain...

While the doubt is very real, -its not right.. You will get stable, You will find a taper that works for YOU, You Will get off these meds And You Will heal...

 

Best wishes... Stay strong...

 

[[Me...]]

Hello all.  Just wanted some feedback.  Ive been holding on 20mg for about 5 weeks after having to updose.  I have been experiencing okay weeks and bad weeks.  Woke up to some very bad anxiety this morning after coming off of a good week of vacation last week.  I would really like to see some consistent improvement, but it hasnt seemed to be happy yet.  Admittedly feeling a bit hopeless and pessimistic right now even though i dont want to be.  This is the most difficult thing i have ever been through.  I keep praying that things turn around for me, but i cant seem to put together more than a week of feeling okay before my anxiety comes back.  Updosing any more is out of the question.  I am just really trying to find some hope that i can find myself again someday.  I have so far to go and i am far from stable.  Just having a really bad day.  I dont mean to be a debbie downer and i dont like to post horror stories.  I just find myself doubting if i will ever really make it through this.  I just felt like i needed to get this out to people who understand what i am going through.

 

God bless

BJ

Hi BJ

Perhaps tapering at a smaller dose would work better?  Rather than cutting by a full milligram, try a half mg or even a quarter. Yes it will take longer but easier for the brain to adjust and less chance of having to updose. V is long acting, similar to my K. It stays in the body longer so, when I would cut, I'd feel great for a week to ten days as I still had drug level in me but then WHAM!, It would catch up with me. I was cutting in to large of a dose, 1/8mg. I've been holding for 2 months now and typically having more windows than waves but won't begin taper until I've had two very good months in a row.......Then I'm going to liquid taper at 3% , and listen to my body, hold any time I feel it is necessary. That seems to be the most repeated advice I've been given by folks here.

God bless

Mellowplease

[[Ca...]]

I've kind of been doing a micro taper with long-ish holds: I just got to 1.9 ml V a day!!! This after making .01 cuts about every third day for about three weeks. Now I feel really lousy - all the usual suspects: nausea, anxiety, exhaustion, spine pain, some tremors. I guess I am in for a stabilizing hold: god it feels good to be able to say I'm under 2 a day. At this rate it will take me forever to get off and then I dread that as well - really hoping the long taper negates a difficult period of healing after I jump. Just venting - sending encouraging vibes to everybody else going through this hideous process

[[Al...]]

Well, here I am at day 18 since my cut. At day 12 I started feeling the sxs. Last night was my worst so far. Still trying to shake this cold,...and I think it is finally passing,.. I have that stiff sore shoulder and neck muscle thing going on again. On top of that last night was bad as I was getting sharp pangs of pain in my rib cage. I didn't recognize it as GERD but I believe that is what it is causing these regular chest/ rib cage pains. I had it before but closer to my chest centre. Anyway this morning I took a Pepcid complete and think it is now under control.

 

It seems that these two particular sxs are going to be with me now after I cut. I just have to be better prepared for them next time. Even though I don't lose control my mind still starts thinking Oh no, what is this now! Etc. and these thoughts can quickly start the sxs fear cycle with me. I think I caught it pretty quick though. I should start to see a let up in these sxs over the next few days. I hope any how.

 

Hope everyone is well today.

 

ATU 🙏

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