The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ca...]]

Missing doses and not feeling too bad seems pretty common with slow metabolizers. I read up a lot on it when I found out I was a super fast metabolizer. The research said slow metabolizers were actually the most successful with " treatment" which included both taking benzos and sticking to a taper. They didnt use those words but I got the gist. It was in a 23 and me related link which only showed for paid subscribers or I would post it. But it said if you miss doses and dont even know you are likely normal to slow or slow and your chances are the best. People like me that are on the other end get hit fast, even with valium and it says we are less successful but I dont think that includes the " workarounds" you find out about on benzobuddies. With adjusted dosing times and slower tapers we can be like " normal" metabolizers and do just fine- we just have to work a little harder at it!

Ummm kitty, -you used the word Taper and Normal in the same sentence...!!!

 

[[Ki...]]

LOL

Normal metabolizers - I left out a very important word!

[[Ca...]]

LOL

Normal metabolizers - I left out a very important word!

I meant the last sentence... -was just being silly... ie. there is nothing "normal" about any Taper... lol

 

[[...]]

ATU, thank you for your wisdom and advice , I do understand and do practice acceptance. However..... It has been almost six months now with my hold , and I have had very few days where I could function in any kind of even vaguely normal way, and I consider myself to be only at the beginning of my taper . I have a pretty stable life currently, with no added stresses to speak of , except dental work!

 

The last two days have left me feeling quite disheartened and I am struggling with feeling stuck. I am afraid that I may wait another six months and not make much progress , and honestly , I'm tired of feeling disabled most of the time. I want to be able to enjoy some basic things, I don't expect a lot , but I need more than this.

 

I am considering trying an updose, I know it's possible that it could backfire , especially after waiting six months. Now , I have cut almost 1/4 mg in these six months .... And I feel every tiny tiny cut, they throw me back into intense WDs . So I am seriously considering going back up to 8-1/4 , or even 8-1/2, and seeing if I can stabilize there.

I am not like some others here who have gotten to lower doses and are taking it really slow , I never really got off the ground. I also know there are people here on higher doses here who are really struggling , and my heart goes out to them.

 

I am in a place where I feel I need to do something different , my nervous system is so fragile. Its been two weeks since I made a microtaper over 10 days , of 5/30ths of a 1/4 mg. two weeks later I am suffering more than ever.

 

I need some help practically with what to do. Should I try going back up to 81/4? The last time I felt stronger was at 8-1/2 mgs. Even though getting there was extremely hard . After I cut another 1/4 mg at the end of sept '16, I never really felt I recovered. And have been so sensitive to the tiniest of reduction attempts.

 

I am feeling depressed , and I'm sorry to admit that , even though I know everyone has challenges , I feel envious of those who are able to keep some kind of a life going , work , travel, family and friends . I can't do any of that , except on very rare occasions, a handful of days in six months.

I am just at a place where I really need to feel some hope.  :'(

 

I appreciate everyone's support here so much , I'm at the end of my rope today.

I know no one can really tell me what's best, but what if I were to try an updose for a week and see what happens ? Perhaps a 1/4 mg , or a 1/2?

I made an error some time back where I was taking an extra mg for four days , and when I dropped back down nothing major happened , so I feel I have the option to try it for at least a few days and see if there is any change . The burning skin and  flesh has never let up not even for one day in six months. And now it is worse. Yesterday I had excruciating stomach pains.

 

I would so appreciate some advice.

I just want to at least try and find a way that will make it possible for me to taper again, and find some kind of steady baseline that I can go from.

I know healing happens on the way down , and I am not in a rush to get off, but I can't be like this for the next 6-8 years, day In day out with no relief. Which is what it looks like from where I am now.

 

Love, MiYu 

[[Ge...]]

I am currently down to 2.15 ml of Valium a day, and after the most recent cut - about 3/100 of a ml about a week ago - I got hit this morning with nausea, a headache, and exhaustion. I work in a high school, so there are always stomach bugs about, but I am wondering if maybe I am getting low enough in my Valium taper to be re-experiencing the Gabapentin w/d symptoms, which felt very much like this. Except for the headache. I have been generally doing pretty well: I guess I am doing the long-hold-slow-taper thing - and have had more good days than bad. So could this 3/100 of a ml drop be enough to reveal the next layer? I do believe with many on these boards that we are essentially trying to heal our brains biochemically as well as socioemotionally as we taper, and I am taking a bunch of supplements I can truly see helping: magnesium, theanine, biotin, B6, and something called Calm - hoping that as I do this slow taper, my brain is healing and that I can more easily - ver time - handle the reductions....

Any feedback welcome

 

I was tapering pretty steady for a while.. then I cut from 2 to 1.5 mg V three weeks ago...ugh..  Since then I made a decision to slow down the end of my taper so I could feel better and participate in some things that are important to me coming up,  as well as manage to hang on at work. But it was all I could do not to cut on the first good day I had after 19 bad ones..but I did not cut and on day 21 the two day window closed...  this confirmed to me that my body really needs this slow down.. sounds like you might need one too.  Welcome.

George glad that you found out that nothing is gained rushing, and yes you are going to be tempted to cut, but sometimes it is good to functional and you will, be patient and enjoy your Life.

 

Awww thanks BG.  Rode my bike a couple miles to day and it felt good.  Hope you are having a great day. :smitten:

[[Al...]]

MyYu,

 

I dont know what to say except my heart goes out to you.

I am of the belief that all our symptoms are basically anxiety sometimes low level but ramping up when we cut. Then over a period of time, for me that seems to be 30-40 days I return to low level anxiety.

The anxiety is something we have to learn to deal with whether we are on a benzo off completely or tapering down.

I understand your feeling of depression with having poor results thus far. I guess if I were you I would consider this option as wel but I would first consider other options as well.

Learning to cope better with anxiety for example, finding a mental health therapist I can speak with regularely ( I have a great one and although she does more listening than speaking, I always feel better after our talks). Also I remember reading in one book, I think it was called something like.      " Coming off Of Tranquilizers" or similar title. The writer said if one benzo doesn't work for you change it. So you may have options there.

I don't feel great anytime during this taper cut & hold,.. I feel at times better than other times as guess but so am getting better at learning to see these anxiety sxs for what they really are just bogus sensations created by my own stupid negative thoughts. I do a lot of reading on the subject and have read through just about every support program out there from Linden to McDonaugh to Weekes.

 

Much of what they say is the same using different words. We can calm ourselves by changing the way we think and what we allow ourselves to think.

 

Well that isnt much of an answer to your question I know but no one should or could tell you what to do. I only say look at all your options first.

 

Sending you hugs and healing energy

 

ATU 🙏

[[ly...]]

 

 

MiYu,

 

I am very sorry that it is so rough for you.  Some seem to have a very difficult, and unrelenting, time.  I don't think anyone knows why this is.  It seems that your cross to V caused you alot of misery.  Did you ever feel well on V?  I'd probably updose and might even consider adding in another benzo that I felt well on (with the idea of perhaps crossing to that)  I don't think I'd continue in the state you are in without looking to change something.  I have not had any anxiety during my taper so, for me, the wd is a physical reaction to reducing the med.

 

I would probably get in touch with BAT and get their input.

[[...]]

Thank you ATU and Lynn.......

I feel that what both of you say is true ..... I don't actually feel anxious , my symptoms a re all physical, yet ATU , I can understand that the root of the physical symptoms can be emotional, yet how does one master these things and be ' successful' In a taper. Perhaps sometimes finding a stable place physically can help the emotional and then make the taper easier. I think they are kind of interchangeable.

Like today , I could barely walk , and emotionally , I am feeling that I don't know how to move forwards --- so , legs carry us forwards....

I do think one supports the other... If one feels well enough to move forwards, then the legs work better, if the legs work better , one feels one CAN move forwards.

So , I do feel that finding a place of stability physically can help emotionally and visa versa.

 

Finding a place of stability is what I am looking for, with the ups and downs that may come, how to do that? Well, I am not sure for me at this point . Faith and patience , and I am praying for answers.

 

I will consider what both of you have written and decide how I might proceed.

I will say , that being able to speak what I am going through and feel the support of others , makes a huge difference ....it gives me courage and hope at the worst of times.

 

What a journey .......

Love, MiYu

Lynn, relative to another benzo..... Valium has always been very sedating for me , but so have all the other benzos ! I have been on a ll of them for short times. Probably for me the least problematic was Ativan . But as we know it comes with its own issues of having a short half life. My cross from K  to V was SO difficult , that I am not sure I dare to try another cross. I did try to taper K , but found it so strong it was near impossible to reduce. For me. But then so is Valium! I do think my nervous system was very compromised by the steroid CT in 2015. Steroids work on the same pathways as benzos somehow I have read.

I would need some serious professional advice on this.....K I had more energy, but it was so strong it would hit me like a brick when I took it. Xanax was ok , but so short acting. I'm not sure how my body would handle switching again......but maybe....anyone else have any input on this?

[[be...]]

Thank you ATU and Lynn.......

I feel that what both of you say is true ..... I don't actually feel anxious , my symptoms a re all physical, yet ATU , I can understand that the root of the physical symptoms can be emotional, yet how does one master these things and be ' successful' In a taper. Perhaps sometimes finding a stable place physically can help the emotional and then make the taper easier. I think they are kind of interchangeable.

Like today , I could barely walk , and emotionally , I am feeling that I don't know how to move forwards --- so , legs carry us forwards....

I do think one supports the other... If one feels well enough to move forwards, then the legs work better, if the legs work better , one feels one CAN move forwards.

So , I do feel that finding a place of stability physically can help emotionally and visa versa.

 

Finding a place of stability is what I am looking for, with the ups and downs that may come, how to do that? Well, I am not sure for me at this point . Faith and patience , and I am praying for answers.

 

I will consider what both of you have written and decide how I might proceed.

I will say , that being able to speak what I am going through and feel the support of others , makes a huge difference ....it gives me courage and hope at the worst of times.

 

What a journey .......

Love, MiYu

Lynn, relative to another benzo..... Valium has always been very sedating for me , but so have all the other benzos ! I have been on a ll of them for short times. Probably for me the least problematic was Ativan . But as we know it comes with its own issues of having a short half life. My cross from K  to V was SO difficult , that I am not sure I dare to try another cross. I did try to taper K , but found it so strong it was near impossible to reduce. For me. But then so is Valium! I do think my nervous system was very compromised by the steroid CT in 2015. Steroids work on the same pathways as benzos somehow I have read.

I would need some serious professional advice on this.....K I had more energy, but it was so strong it would hit me like a brick when I took it. Xanax was ok , but so short acting. I'm not sure how my body would handle switching again......but maybe....anyone else have any input on this?

Jeez MiYu, Valley should be on soon. I do not know what course you should take, sometimes when I am on my month long or 2 month hold, I sometimes do not feel as well, not bad, but seem to not feel good, and then I start my taper and I feel better, if you decide to start again, I would go the smallest amt, Valley knows the number, I forgot how to place it with all the fractions, but then you could updose, but I just do not know. You said you feel like your legs do not want to move, well I have had that throughout my taper, off and on, but it abates, I just wish I could help you more. I am leaving the contact for BAT, they are really good, but you must be open to thier suggestions and I think you would be and it is hard to get a hold of them, but hey nothing ventured, you know the words. ATU, and Lynn both have good suggestions also, we are here for you. Stay Strong. :smitten:

 

Contact Us

If you need help or advice

 

By Telephone:

 

Local helpline                0117 9663629

 

National helpline        0844 826 9317*

 

By Email:                          support@bataid.org

 

*Service charge 7p per minute PLUS access charge per minute set by your network provider

 

 

http://bataid.org/ 

[[be...]]

I am currently down to 2.15 ml of Valium a day, and after the most recent cut - about 3/100 of a ml about a week ago - I got hit this morning with nausea, a headache, and exhaustion. I work in a high school, so there are always stomach bugs about, but I am wondering if maybe I am getting low enough in my Valium taper to be re-experiencing the Gabapentin w/d symptoms, which felt very much like this. Except for the headache. I have been generally doing pretty well: I guess I am doing the long-hold-slow-taper thing - and have had more good days than bad. So could this 3/100 of a ml drop be enough to reveal the next layer? I do believe with many on these boards that we are essentially trying to heal our brains biochemically as well as socioemotionally as we taper, and I am taking a bunch of supplements I can truly see helping: magnesium, theanine, biotin, B6, and something called Calm - hoping that as I do this slow taper, my brain is healing and that I can more easily - ver time - handle the reductions....

Any feedback welcome

 

I was tapering pretty steady for a while.. then I cut from 2 to 1.5 mg V three weeks ago...ugh..  Since then I made a decision to slow down the end of my taper so I could feel better and participate in some things that are important to me coming up,  as well as manage to hang on at work. But it was all I could do not to cut on the first good day I had after 19 bad ones..but I did not cut and on day 21 the two day window closed...  this confirmed to me that my body really needs this slow down.. sounds like you might need one too.  Welcome.

George glad that you found out that nothing is gained rushing, and yes you are going to be tempted to cut, but sometimes it is good to functional and you will, be patient and enjoy your Life.

 

Awww thanks BG.  Rode my bike a couple miles to day and it felt good.  Hope you are having a great day. :smitten:

Hey that is great George, distraction is key to this crapo we go through, I am doing well, thanks. Keep up the good Job.

[[...]]

Thank you ATU and Lynn.......

I feel that what both of you say is true ..... I don't actually feel anxious , my symptoms a re all physical, yet ATU , I can understand that the root of the physical symptoms can be emotional, yet how does one master these things and be ' successful' In a taper. Perhaps sometimes finding a stable place physically can help the emotional and then make the taper easier. I think they are kind of interchangeable.

Like today , I could barely walk , and emotionally , I am feeling that I don't know how to move forwards --- so , legs carry us forwards....

I do think one supports the other... If one feels well enough to move forwards, then the legs work better, if the legs work better , one feels one CAN move forwards.

So , I do feel that finding a place of stability physically can help emotionally and visa versa.

 

Finding a place of stability is what I am looking for, with the ups and downs that may come, how to do that? Well, I am not sure for me at this point . Faith and patience , and I am praying for answers.

 

I will consider what both of you have written and decide how I might proceed.

I will say , that being able to speak what I am going through and feel the support of others , makes a huge difference ....it gives me courage and hope at the worst of times.

 

What a journey .......

Love, MiYu

Lynn, relative to another benzo..... Valium has always been very sedating for me , but so have all the other benzos ! I have been on a ll of them for short times. Probably for me the least problematic was Ativan . But as we know it comes with its own issues of having a short half life. My cross from K  to V was SO difficult , that I am not sure I dare to try another cross. I did try to taper K , but found it so strong it was near impossible to reduce. For me. But then so is Valium! I do think my nervous system was very compromised by the steroid CT in 2015. Steroids work on the same pathways as benzos somehow I have read.

I would need some serious professional advice on this.....K I had more energy, but it was so strong it would hit me like a brick when I took it. Xanax was ok , but so short acting. I'm not sure how my body would handle switching again......but maybe....anyone else have any input on this?

Jeez MiYu, Valley should be on soon. I do not know what course you should take, sometimes when I am on my month long or 2 month hold, I sometimes do not feel as well, not bad, but seem to not feel good, and then I start my taper and I feel better, if you decide to start again, I would go the smallest amt, Valley knows the number, I forgot how to place it with all the fractions, but then you could updose, but I just do not know. You said you feel like your legs do not want to move, well I have had that throughout my taper, off and on, but it abates, I just wish I could help you more. I am leaving the contact for BAT, they are really good, but you must be open to thier suggestions and I think you would be and it is hard to get a hold of them, but hey nothing ventured, you know the words. ATU, and Lynn both have good suggestions also, we are here for you. Stay Strong. :smitten:

 

Contact Us

If you need help or advice

 

By Telephone:

 

Local helpline                0117 9663629

 

National helpline        0844 826 9317*

 

By Email:                          support@bataid.org

 

*Service charge 7p per minute PLUS access charge per minute set by your network provider

 

 

http://bataid.org/

 

Thank you Begood, you are a real sweetheart 

[[Va...]]

ATU, thank you for your wisdom and advice , I do understand and do practice acceptance. However..... It has been almost six months now with my hold , and I have had very few days where I could function in any kind of even vaguely normal way, and I consider myself to be only at the beginning of my taper . I have a pretty stable life currently, with no added stresses to speak of , except dental work!

 

The last two days have left me feeling quite disheartened and I am struggling with feeling stuck. I am afraid that I may wait another six months and not make much progress , and honestly , I'm tired of feeling disabled most of the time. I want to be able to enjoy some basic things, I don't expect a lot , but I need more than this.

 

I am considering trying an updose, I know it's possible that it could backfire , especially after waiting six months. Now , I have cut almost 1/4 mg in these six months .... And I feel every tiny tiny cut, they throw me back into intense WDs . So I am seriously considering going back up to 8-1/4 , or even 8-1/2, and seeing if I can stabilize there.

I am not like some others here who have gotten to lower doses and are taking it really slow , I never really got off the ground. I also know there are people here on higher doses here who are really struggling , and my heart goes out to them.

 

I am in a place where I feel I need to do something different , my nervous system is so fragile. Its been two weeks since I made a microtaper over 10 days , of 5/30ths of a 1/4 mg. two weeks later I am suffering more than ever.

 

I need some help practically with what to do. Should I try going back up to 81/4? The last time I felt stronger was at 8-1/2 mgs. Even though getting there was extremely hard . After I cut another 1/4 mg at the end of sept '16, I never really felt I recovered. And have been so sensitive to the tiniest of reduction attempts.

 

I am feeling depressed , and I'm sorry to admit that , even though I know everyone has challenges , I feel envious of those who are able to keep some kind of a life going , work , travel, family and friends . I can't do any of that , except on very rare occasions, a handful of days in six months.

I am just at a place where I really need to feel some hope.  :'(

 

I appreciate everyone's support here so much , I'm at the end of my rope today.

I know no one can really tell me what's best, but what if I were to try an updose for a week and see what happens ? Perhaps a 1/4 mg , or a 1/2?

I made an error some time back where I was taking an extra mg for four days , and when I dropped back down nothing major happened , so I feel I have the option to try it for at least a few days and see if there is any change . The burning skin and  flesh has never let up not even for one day in six months. And now it is worse. Yesterday I had excruciating stomach pains.

 

I would so appreciate some advice.

I just want to at least try and find a way that will make it possible for me to taper again, and find some kind of steady baseline that I can go from.

I know healing happens on the way down , and I am not in a rush to get off, but I can't be like this for the next 6-8 years, day In day out with no relief. Which is what it looks like from where I am now.

 

Love, MiYu 

Hi MiYu. Here I thought things were going well for you. I'm sorry you're having so many issues. Have you posted on the updosing support group? I only have the experience of updosing very slightly and usually it's a higher amount when significantly destabilized. Have you felt better at all during your hold?  --V

[[ga...]]

Miyu, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I had a terrible long time of neuropathy, too, but now it comes and goes. Having the breaks makes life bearable. I wish you could get some breaks, too. I'm sorry I don't have any ideas. All that helped me was a very long hold. And now I have to cut super slow or I'm right back in w/d hell. I think we are sensitized and have to be so careful.

 

BAT has helped many people in really tough situations. I don't know where you are located. I hope it's in their service area.

 

Gentle hugs,

Gard

[[...]]

ATU, thank you for your wisdom and advice , I do understand and do practice acceptance. However..... It has been almost six months now with my hold , and I have had very few days where I could function in any kind of even vaguely normal way, and I consider myself to be only at the beginning of my taper . I have a pretty stable life currently, with no added stresses to speak of , except dental work!

 

The last two days have left me feeling quite disheartened and I am struggling with feeling stuck. I am afraid that I may wait another six months and not make much progress , and honestly , I'm tired of feeling disabled most of the time. I want to be able to enjoy some basic things, I don't expect a lot , but I need more than this.

 

I am considering trying an updose, I know it's possible that it could backfire , especially after waiting six months. Now , I have cut almost 1/4 mg in these six months .... And I feel every tiny tiny cut, they throw me back into intense WDs . So I am seriously considering going back up to 8-1/4 , or even 8-1/2, and seeing if I can stabilize there.

I am not like some others here who have gotten to lower doses and are taking it really slow , I never really got off the ground. I also know there are people here on higher doses here who are really struggling , and my heart goes out to them.

 

I am in a place where I feel I need to do something different , my nervous system is so fragile. Its been two weeks since I made a microtaper over 10 days , of 5/30ths of a 1/4 mg. two weeks later I am suffering more than ever.

 

I need some help practically with what to do. Should I try going back up to 81/4? The last time I felt stronger was at 8-1/2 mgs. Even though getting there was extremely hard . After I cut another 1/4 mg at the end of sept '16, I never really felt I recovered. And have been so sensitive to the tiniest of reduction attempts.

 

I am feeling depressed , and I'm sorry to admit that , even though I know everyone has challenges , I feel envious of those who are able to keep some kind of a life going , work , travel, family and friends . I can't do any of that , except on very rare occasions, a handful of days in six months.

I am just at a place where I really need to feel some hope.  :'(

 

I appreciate everyone's support here so much , I'm at the end of my rope today.

I know no one can really tell me what's best, but what if I were to try an updose for a week and see what happens ? Perhaps a 1/4 mg , or a 1/2?

I made an error some time back where I was taking an extra mg for four days , and when I dropped back down nothing major happened , so I feel I have the option to try it for at least a few days and see if there is any change . The burning skin and  flesh has never let up not even for one day in six months. And now it is worse. Yesterday I had excruciating stomach pains.

 

I would so appreciate some advice.

I just want to at least try and find a way that will make it possible for me to taper again, and find some kind of steady baseline that I can go from.

I know healing happens on the way down , and I am not in a rush to get off, but I can't be like this for the next 6-8 years, day In day out with no relief. Which is what it looks like from where I am now.

 

Love, MiYu 

Hi MiYu. Here I thought things were going well for you. I'm sorry you're having so many issues. Have you posted on the updosing support group? I only have the experience of updosing very slightly and usually it's a higher amount when significantly destabilized. Have you felt better at all during your hold?  --V

 

HI Valley, I was doing a bit better a couple,of weeks back, actually during the time I was making some small cuts I felt better. But then I waited and now I feel so much worse. I don't think continuing to cut is the answer right now..... I think it's either holding or updosing. I will post in the updose group , thanks for that suggestion , at least I will read the posts there anyway and get a feel for what people do.

I have had very few days of feeling in anyway close to 'normal' in the six months. I am home all the time except when I have to go out , I can't handle much of anything. I have probably had maybe 4 days I could call decent in 6 months. I am better than I was last September after having cut the 1.5 mgs over 3 months. So the hold has helped, it's just that I don't seem to be able to taper at all still without severe symptoms.

Just over a year ago I actually thought I was dying , I was in very bad shape from a lot of things, not just meds. So relatively speaking I am a lot better! But this is not the person I want to be , nowhere close . I guess i have  to look at the fact of where I've come from , how very sick I was, and that I have made a lot of progress, from completely bedridden and unable to care for myself at all, to being able to drive my car sometimes, make my own meals and sometimes take a walk. Watch gentle tv series ( I couldn't even read a book or watch or listen to anything for many many months) .

I can take hope in that, but it's such a long journey and so much suffering for so long, it is very waring .....

 

So , I will look into updosing , and maybe try and contact bAT as Begood suggested.

Love, Miyu

[[...]]

Miyu, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I had a terrible long time of neuropathy, too, but now it comes and goes. Having the breaks makes life bearable. I wish you could get some breaks, too. I'm sorry I don't have any ideas. All that helped me was a very long hold. And now I have to cut super slow or I'm right back in w/d hell. I think we are sensitized and have to be so careful.

 

BAT has helped many people in really tough situations. I don't know where you are located. I hope it's in their service area.

 

Gentle hugs,

Gard

 

Dear Gard, thank you. Yes , I think you are right. our nervous systems have become hyper-sensitized.

I wonder if there's a way for them to settle down, perhaps just time. I cannot imagine going through this taper and having such terrible WDs with such tiny reductions .

I suppose we have learnt how sensitive we are, and have to take that into account.

I am leaning towards just holding more and praying that my nervous system will heal more and enable me to taper. I had thought I was ready to try again a couple of weeks back , and now as you say , back in WD hell. So holds and maybe in time a very very slow taper.

Love, MiYu 

[[...]]

Wow , I've been reading some of the posts in the updose group started by Nova...... Its just heartbreaking what people are going through. I understand more and more how brave , strong compassionate and amazing this journey makes people. I am in awe really. I guess I haven't been around so very long in the benzo taper world, and am still learning so much, not just practically speaking , but about people , about their lives , their sufferings , it breaks my heart , in a good way  i think..... It is teaching me compassion and so much more. I used to be in the Addison's disease support group on FB , and the lives of those people also were heartbreaking , but I don't think there's anything like what benzos do to people on every level of existence.

 

as much as I might be suffering , Im so grateful for what this journey is showing me, and to all of you for your generous spirits.

Love to everyone,

MiYu 

[[Ca...]]

Hey MiYu... just been catching up for the morning...

My sx are more physical too, prob due to the fact that i took it to relax muscles while tapering oxycontin... but like you say the other sx creep in as we lose the ability to function, so its yet more to address...

What I was wondering, you mentioned stomach issues, or digestive problems/pain... -this is my central problem, from which everything stems... I had it pre benzo, but it is in effect the same or similar to benzo damage, in its extreme..

I havnt changed my dose much in 3months, and this last week i got yet more new sx... -It started with way worse than normal GI slow transit, then the abdo muscle cramps and what feels like toxicity... -This is where the new sx came into it... -Face and neck burning skin. It felt inflamed and kinda itchy too... -lasted a few days... but overnight my GI came back to life, and the burning skin has gone...

so i guess i was just wondering where your GI stands in all this...?

 

I see you are wondering about updosing too, as would/do I...

I just wonder how relative or helpfull any result would be in the long term, considering that you have held, thus stabalised (in relation to medicine levels, obviously not sx) for so long now...

I think quick up and back down updoses have their own problems in many cases, and often dont give much of a picture... as once said to me... Pick a dose and stick to it...

 

These are just my thoughts, as said, a very personal decision that only you can make...

I just hope a small piece of what i wrote might help in some way...

Best wishes... -oh, and Yes, do look back to see how far you have come, It helps me, especially if i read 2009-2012 diaries...

All my best wishes..

 

 

[[ga...]]

For MiYu and others suffering from chronic pain. I have gathered up resources I have found helpful and posted them on my progress log. It's really more of a collection of resources than a progress log, but so far nobody has caught me not logging.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=137858.msg2349623#msg2349623

 

Wishing everyone a window-ful day!

 

Gard

[[an...]]

For MiYu and others suffering from chronic pain. I have gathered up resources I have found helpful and posted them on my progress log. It's really more of a collection of resources than a progress log, but so far nobody has caught me not logging.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=137858.msg2349623#msg2349623

 

Wishing everyone a window-ful day!

 

Gard

 

Hi Gard!!

 

That is a nice well organized list you posted there.  It will be much appreciated by many.

 

I hope you are having a good day. 

 

Take care,

Anne  :smitten:

[[ga...]]

Hi, Anne! I hope you are having a nice peaceful weekend. And it must be about Spring Break time for you, right? You deserve a WHOLE WEEK of peace and quiet!

 

Gard :smitten:

[[Ca...]]

Thanks Gard... will look when im feeling sensible enough...

 

[[ga...]]

Thanks Gard... will look when im feeling sensible enough...

 

 

And you know just what I mean!

[[...]]

Hey MiYu... just been catching up for the morning...

My sx are more physical too, prob due to the fact that i took it to relax muscles while tapering oxycontin... but like you say the other sx creep in as we lose the ability to function, so its yet more to address...

What I was wondering, you mentioned stomach issues, or digestive problems/pain... -this is my central problem, from which everything stems... I had it pre benzo, but it is in effect the same or similar to benzo damage, in its extreme..

I havnt changed my dose much in 3months, and this last week i got yet more new sx... -It started with way worse than normal GI slow transit, then the abdo muscle cramps and what feels like toxicity... -This is where the new sx came into it... -Face and neck burning skin. It felt inflamed and kinda itchy too... -lasted a few days... but overnight my GI came back to life, and the burning skin has gone...

so i guess i was just wondering where your GI stands in all this...?

 

I see you are wondering about updosing too, as would/do I...

I just wonder how relative or helpfull any result would be in the long term, considering that you have held, thus stabalised (in relation to medicine levels, obviously not sx) for so long now...

I think quick up and back down updoses have their own problems in many cases, and often dont give much of a picture... as once said to me... Pick a dose and stick to it...

 

These are just my thoughts, as said, a very personal decision that only you can make...

I just hope a small piece of what i wrote might help in some way...

Best wishes... -oh, and Yes, do look back to see how far you have come, It helps me, especially if i read 2009-2012 diaries...

All my best wishes..

 

Thanks Cantfly..... How are you today?

GI stuff ..... I don't seem to have digestive issues , just pain and burning. I feel a lot of heat in my stomach , especially in the solar plexus area. My stomach is sore a lot, and the pain comes and goes, kind of cramping , burning feeling. It's been pretty constant for me, the burning. It's the worst in my mid back and spine , and my skin is hot hot all the time, again mostly my back , neck, and I have back ache , like tight muscles and tendons in my back all the time too. I get scared its kidney related , and need to have that checked , but haven't gotten to it, just need to be sure so I can relax if it's " just" withdrawals , haha.

I do find I get occasional constipation and then sometimes the opposite , but for the most part fairly normal in that area .....oh and occasionally I get bad ' transit' pains as you polightly put it.

 

I'm feeling a little better emotionally at least today , not so hopeless feeling. I was really depressed yesterday. Still very fragile though. I'm going to hold tight where I am and try to keep everything the same , supplements , diet , and V dose, no further changes to liquid or anything like that for the time being and hope that things settle down.

 

One thing that I haven't included in my sig , is I have been on and off gabapentin for many years , never had an issue with it, for restless legs. I could stop and start with no problems . I take a little over 400 mgs a night now, and I have reduced it here and there over the last year . I need to hold that steady too... I didn't think it would matter much as I'd never had an issue with it before , that's why I didn't even enclude it in my sig, but , now with the V , I'm realizing that I have to take it into account also , as it does somehow play around with GABA , even though it doesn't apparantly bind to benzo receptors. But it's a psyche med nonetheless , and I haven't taken it seriously enough . Of course my docto(s) have practically told me it's just like a supplement ! Even Dr Madill who's an addiction specialist was encouraging me to take more of it...... No thanks!

 

Hang in there CT ,

MiYu 

[[Ca...]]

Hey MiYu... just been catching up for the morning...

My sx are more physical too, prob due to the fact that i took it to relax muscles while tapering oxycontin... but like you say the other sx creep in as we lose the ability to function, so its yet more to address...

What I was wondering, you mentioned stomach issues, or digestive problems/pain... -this is my central problem, from which everything stems... I had it pre benzo, but it is in effect the same or similar to benzo damage, in its extreme..

I havnt changed my dose much in 3months, and this last week i got yet more new sx... -It started with way worse than normal GI slow transit, then the abdo muscle cramps and what feels like toxicity... -This is where the new sx came into it... -Face and neck burning skin. It felt inflamed and kinda itchy too... -lasted a few days... but overnight my GI came back to life, and the burning skin has gone...

so i guess i was just wondering where your GI stands in all this...?

 

I see you are wondering about updosing too, as would/do I...

I just wonder how relative or helpfull any result would be in the long term, considering that you have held, thus stabalised (in relation to medicine levels, obviously not sx) for so long now...

I think quick up and back down updoses have their own problems in many cases, and often dont give much of a picture... as once said to me... Pick a dose and stick to it...

 

These are just my thoughts, as said, a very personal decision that only you can make...

I just hope a small piece of what i wrote might help in some way...

Best wishes... -oh, and Yes, do look back to see how far you have come, It helps me, especially if i read 2009-2012 diaries...

All my best wishes..

 

Thanks Cantfly..... How are you today?

GI stuff ..... I don't seem to have digestive issues , just pain and burning. I feel a lot of heat in my stomach , especially in the solar plexus area. My stomach is sore a lot, and the pain comes and goes, kind of cramping , burning feeling. It's been pretty constant for me, the burning. It's the worst in my mid back and spine , and my skin is hot hot all the time, again mostly my back , neck, and I have back ache , like tight muscles and tendons in my back all the time too. I get scared its kidney related , and need to have that checked , but haven't gotten to it, just need to be sure so I can relax if it's " just" withdrawals , haha.

I do find I get occasional constipation and then sometimes the opposite , but for the most part fairly normal in that area .....oh and occasionally I get bad ' transit' pains as you polightly put it.

 

I'm feeling a little better emotionally at least today , not so hopeless feeling. I was really depressed yesterday. Still very fragile though. I'm going to hold tight where I am and try to keep everything the same , supplements , diet , and V dose, no further changes to liquid or anything like that for the time being and hope that things settle down.

 

One thing that I haven't included in my sig , is I have been on and off gabapentin for many years , never had an issue with it, for restless legs. I could stop and start with no problems . I take a little over 400 mgs a night now, and I have reduced it here and there over the last year . I need to hold that steady too... I didn't think it would matter much as I'd never had an issue with it before , that's why I didn't even enclude it in my sig, but , now with the V , I'm realizing that I have to take it into account also , as it does somehow play around with GABA , even though it doesn't apparantly bind to benzo receptors. But it's a psyche med nonetheless , and I haven't taken it seriously enough . Of course my docto(s) have practically told me it's just like a supplement ! Even Dr Madill who's an addiction specialist was encouraging me to take more of it...... No thanks!

 

Hang in there CT ,

MiYu 

Your onto it... good thinking in my very humble opinion...

yes, be aware of GPN when combined with a benzo...

Transit -peristalsis, -the rhythmic contractions that propel food through the GI tract... -hope we r on same page... lol -the nerve receptors that controll this often get damaged...

anyways. Hope all goes well, step by step... -i think it will...

[[...]]

"Your onto it... good thinking in my very humble opinion...

yes, be aware of GPN when combined with a benzo...

Transit -peristalsis, -the rhythmic contractions that propel food through the GI tract... -hope we r on same page... lol -the nerve receptors that controll this often get damaged...

anyways. Hope all goes well, step by step... -i think it will..."

 

Thanks CT......

Yes we are on the same page  re" transit" 

We'll all get there eventually ..... Let's hope sooner rather than later