The Long Hold Support Group

[[Va...]]

I have been cutting every two weeks for a while now, but I could not cut this past Thursday...  I just seemed to be getting worse Mon-Thurs.  I am just steady with pretty bad brain fog and some dizziness, depression, loud tinnitus, and insomnia the last couple days. 

 

I am rethinking the end of my taper, and I think as much as I don't want to.. I need to slow it down.  Also, I live in North Florida and I want to go help my daughter (with two small kids, a husband and 5 dogs) move from Buffalo to Charlotte in April...about 6 weeks from now.  It will be a physically demanding effort..but an adventure non the less.  I also have another important life event in early May.  Also I work (often 6 days a week) so there will be no down time for me anywhere in here.

 

I am thinking of cutting to 1 mg V next Thursday (provided I stay stable) and then just holding for the move and the May event.. so if I do that I will be 6 to 8 weeks at 1 mg before I cut to .5 in mid-Mayish.  I have enough valium (146 mg)  left to do that without asking my Dr for more. 

 

I am feeling so oddly indecisive and I am not sure why except that I really just want to be done with benzos at the same time I want to be well and have my life ..  What do ya'll think

I really think quality of life is the important thing. You're getting off regardless of how long it takes. If you are functional and have minimal sxs, isn't that the way to go? Just my opinion.  --V

[[Kg...]]

George: IMHO I would cut only .25 mg  at a time now that you are so low.    I would hold there for 2 weeks and if all is well then I would cut the other .25 mg.    I will tell you that some of us on these low doses actually felt better if we continued to cut vs holding - and then feel much better off of it than on.  I am one of them. 

 

In my experience there never was a good time to taper vs not taper or jump vs not jump. There was always something I had to do - or others had expectations of me to be 'functional'.  I actually found that when I was busier (after of course obsessing about it) I did fine vs being home thinking about what I was expected to do. Like you my plans involved traveling and doing things for my grown children. 

 

 

IMHO I would look at the people who  successfully tapered off of benzos and are now back to living life to see how they got off of benzos.  Towards this end I  suggest you take a look at Rosegal's buddy blog and Gilster's as well to get a sense of how people deal with commitments and still manage to taper. 

[[be...]]

I have been cutting every two weeks for a while now, but I could not cut this past Thursday...  I just seemed to be getting worse Mon-Thurs.  I am just steady with pretty bad brain fog and some dizziness, depression, loud tinnitus, and insomnia the last couple days. 

 

I am rethinking the end of my taper, and I think as much as I don't want to.. I need to slow it down.  Also, I live in North Florida and I want to go help my daughter (with two small kids, a husband and 5 dogs) move from Buffalo to Charlotte in April...about 6 weeks from now.  It will be a physically demanding effort..but an adventure non the less.  I also have another important life event in early May.  Also I work (often 6 days a week) so there will be no down time for me anywhere in here.

 

I am thinking of cutting to 1 mg V next Thursday (provided I stay stable) and then just holding for the move and the May event.. so if I do that I will be 6 to 8 weeks at 1 mg before I cut to .5 in mid-Mayish.  I have enough valium (146 mg)  left to do that without asking my Dr for more. 

 

I am feeling so oddly indecisive and I am not sure why except that I really just want to be done with benzos at the same time I want to be well and have my life ..  What do ya'll think

I really think quality of life is the important thing. You're getting off regardless of how long it takes. If you are functional and have minimal sxs, isn't that the way to go? Just my opinion.  --V

I agree with Valley, I like being functional and very minor sx, best to you and hope you find the right way for you. Most of us here are advocates of holding and feeling better then finding a pace that is beneficial to us. I would be careful with a big drop of 1mg we all want to be off but I know for a fact pushing forward is not the best for me been there and here I am for the third time.

[[an...]]

I agree with Valley and Begood.  If I feel symptoms ramping up, I always hold.  It makes for a longer taper, but I would rather feel good.  My first priority is being able to function both at home and at work.

 

Anne 

[[ga...]]

Add me to the list. I am holding this week even though my symptoms are not ramping up. I'm still figuring out my pace on the Librium and I figure better safe than sorry. I was so, so sorry I pushed too fast on the Xanax. It gave me a year of terrible suffering that was unnecessary.

[[...]]

MTHFR IS SO OBVIOUS TO ME.  AND IT DESCRIBES Benzos so succinctly! 

 

We have a whole new meaning for MTHFR genes! 

[[...]]

Might Try Holding For Recovery...

 

-sorry But i just dont see whats funny... lol

 

 

Ok , that one went over my benzo head first pass too........ God I'm slow these days! 

 

 

[[He...]]

Whoa! HEADACHES COMING EVERY AFTERNOON ABOUT 2:00. And lasting til about 10.00pm. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING WEIRD JUST LOOK AT ME WITH ICE ON MY HEAD AND A HEAT PACK AROUND MY UPPER BACK AND AROUND MY NECK. BUT IT DOES WORK WHEN EVEN MY FIORINAL FAILS. ONLY THING is, I CAN't EXACTLY GO ANYWHERE! 

This too shall pass I know but I am so tired of all this physical pain.  Needles to say...I AM STILL HOLDING FOR quite a while. I KNOW IT WILL WORK. IT HAS IN THE PAST. JUST WISH I DIDNT RUSH AHEAD. I KNOW I DID THIS TO MYSELF. BUT NOW I KNOW THAT EVEN THE NORMAL RATE OF SLOW IS NOT SLOW enough for my body.

I gotta remember that because of my age, I do believe that my taper is going to need a much slower rate and much smaller cuts.

 

Here's to the end of my physical pain..please!

 

Heath

 

Hope everyone else is doing better. Love to the chickens, turtles, sloths, and snails.

 

LOOKS LIKE WE ARE CREATING QUITE A ZOO!

 

[[ly...]]

I have been cutting every two weeks for a while now, but I could not cut this past Thursday...  I just seemed to be getting worse Mon-Thurs.  I am just steady with pretty bad brain fog and some dizziness, depression, loud tinnitus, and insomnia the last couple days. 

 

I am rethinking the end of my taper, and I think as much as I don't want to.. I need to slow it down.  Also, I live in North Florida and I want to go help my daughter (with two small kids, a husband and 5 dogs) move from Buffalo to Charlotte in April...about 6 weeks from now.  It will be a physically demanding effort..but an adventure non the less.  I also have another important life event in early May.  Also I work (often 6 days a week) so there will be no down time for me anywhere in here.

 

I am thinking of cutting to 1 mg V next Thursday (provided I stay stable) and then just holding for the move and the May event.. so if I do that I will be 6 to 8 weeks at 1 mg before I cut to .5 in mid-Mayish.  I have enough valium (146 mg)  left to do that without asking my Dr for more. 

 

I am feeling so oddly indecisive and I am not sure why except that I really just want to be done with benzos at the same time I want to be well and have my life ..  What do ya'll think

 

I am a proponent of "vacations" from taper and don't see a downside to taking them.  I hold when things ramp-up and reduce my cuts when my mind/body signals the need.  I've yet to hear a cogent argument against this...

[[ly...]]

George: IMHO I would cut only .25 mg  at a time now that you are so low.    I would hold there for 2 weeks and if all is well then I would cut the other .25 mg.    I will tell you that some of us on these low doses actually felt better if we continued to cut vs holding - and then feel much better off of it than on.  I am one of them. 

 

In my experience there never was a good time to taper vs not taper or jump vs not jump. There was always something I had to do - or others had expectations of me to be 'functional'.  I actually found that when I was busier (after of course obsessing about it) I did fine vs being home thinking about what I was expected to do. Like you my plans involved traveling and doing things for my grown children. 

 

 

IMHO I would look at the people who  successfully tapered off of benzos and are now back to living life to see how they got off of benzos.  Towards this end I  suggest you take a look at Rosegal's buddy blog and Gilster's as well to get a sense of how people deal with commitments and still manage to taper.

 

Kgirl - how are you doing 8 months out?

[[Ca...]]

Well... -Im holding because I want to STEP off, not nose dive...

And I think being HAPPY and around Happy People is a much better state of being for productive HEALING...

-Holding is Healing...

[[be...]]

I have been cutting every two weeks for a while now, but I could not cut this past Thursday...  I just seemed to be getting worse Mon-Thurs.  I am just steady with pretty bad brain fog and some dizziness, depression, loud tinnitus, and insomnia the last couple days. 

 

I am rethinking the end of my taper, and I think as much as I don't want to.. I need to slow it down.  Also, I live in North Florida and I want to go help my daughter (with two small kids, a husband and 5 dogs) move from Buffalo to Charlotte in April...about 6 weeks from now.  It will be a physically demanding effort..but an adventure non the less.  I also have another important life event in early May.  Also I work (often 6 days a week) so there will be no down time for me anywhere in here.

 

I am thinking of cutting to 1 mg V next Thursday (provided I stay stable) and then just holding for the move and the May event.. so if I do that I will be 6 to 8 weeks at 1 mg before I cut to .5 in mid-Mayish.  I have enough valium (146 mg)  left to do that without asking my Dr for more. 

 

I am feeling so oddly indecisive and I am not sure why except that I really just want to be done with benzos at the same time I want to be well and have my life ..  What do ya'll think

 

I am a proponent of "vacations" from taper and don't see a downside to taking them.  I hold when things ramp-up and reduce my cuts when my mind/body signals the need.  I've yet to hear a cogent argument against this...

:thumbsup:

[[be...]]

Well... -Im holding because I want to STEP off, not nose dive...

And I think being HAPPY and around Happy People is a much better state of being for productive HEALING...

-Holding is Healing...

[[ga...]]

So sorry you are suffering, Heath, but you will get through this. You know it! 

You are inspiring me to stick to my scheduled hold. You and V's meme.

http://img.memecdn.com/snail-and-turtle_o_415710.jpg

[[Kg...]]

Lynn there are still ups and downs but I am fully functional which I never was during my taper - and yes I did a long hold and felt worse and worse the longer I held. It did not help me at all. Dragging the taper out for more months/ years would have killed me I think.  I am now back to working (part time), I can make plans w/o worrying about them and I am living my life, something I put on hold for the years of my taper. I agree with Ashton, we fully heal when we are off, - we do get 'better' on the way off but for me I was never s/x free and had I waited to be 'free' I would still be living in hell. 

 

Long holds are not the panacea for everyone - for some it is the opposite. Great if it works for you and others but for many of us it was a disaster.  Just my 2 cents. 

[[ga...]]

I am so glad to hear you are improving and getting your life back Kgirl.

 

It is such a mystery about these drugs. I think some people do have an adverse reaction to the drug itself and holding does not help them. What a horrible hell to be in. What a relief to hear you are off and getting your life back!

 

One way or another, through all the twists and turns, we will all get there. And today we are all one day closer to freedom! 

Gard

[[be...]]

I am going to chime in here, I have been through two failed tapers and the thing I was doing was going too fast and cutting too much, and the Doctor said he was going by the Ashton model, so be it, it did not work for me, causing me to reinstate twice, I never felt good or functional at all, I was at deaths door over and over. Until I decided that I had to do it a different way, long before I knew about BB, so I decided to go slow and cut a little at a time and yes Hold to allow my Brain to catch up and it has been a Godsend, I am not on the boards weeping I feel so badly for those that have not found their way to a good taper plan, I found something that has worked for me because I was able to not overthink it and to not listen to naysayers that are pushing buddies to rush through, I just hold my own counsel. Does it work for me, yes I feel almost normal again and I am living a functional life with just blips of sx, do I think I will just walk off without any problems, no, I may have some, but so be it. I feel since I started this third time that I am healing on the way down, this is pure healing nothing else, and I do not believe that the Brain  has to be completely off of the Valium before I feel healing, I am empowered by how good I feel and that many are beginning to see that there are other ways of getting off of Benzo's and it does not have to be horrific. Just my thoughts and my four cents.

[[Ge...]]

Thank you Anne, Valley, BGood and Gardner (hopefully I didnt miss anyone),

 

I really appreciate all the input.  It's harder for me  to let go of my 'plan' of cutting every two weeks and having a set jump date than I would have guessed...  So now I have no real plan. except to recover from this last cut to 1.5 mg and to have a good April and May. 

 

Wow what is life going to be like when I am not thinking about my next cut all the time 

 

Love you guys!  I'll be hanging out here some for a while. :smitten:

[[be...]]

Thank you Anne, Valley, BGood and Gardner (hopefully I didnt miss anyone),

 

I really appreciate all the input.  It's harder for me  to let go of my 'plan' of cutting every two weeks and having a set jump date than I would have guessed...  So now I have no real plan. except to recover from this last cut to 1.5 mg and to have a good April and May. 

 

Wow what is life going to be like when I am not thinking about my next cut all the time 

 

Love you guys!  I'll be hanging out here some for a while. :smitten:

Welcome George.

[[ga...]]

I am going to chime in here, I have been through two failed tapers and the thing I was doing was going too fast and cutting too much, and the Doctor said he was going by the Ashton model, so be it, it did not work for me, causing me to reinstate twice, I never felt good or functional at all, I was at deaths door over and over. Until I decided that I had to do it a different way, long before I knew about BB, so I decided to go slow and cut a little at a time and yes Hold to allow my Brain to catch up and it has been a Godsend, I am not on the boards weeping I feel so badly for those that have not found their way to a good taper plan, I found something that has worked for me because I was able to not overthink it and to not listen to naysayers that are pushing buddies to rush through, I just hold my own counsel. Does it work for me, yes I feel almost normal again and I am living a functional life with just blips of sx, do I think I will just walk off without any problems, no, I may have some, but so be it. I feel since I started this third time that I am healing on the way down, this is pure healing nothing else, and I do not believe that the Brain  has to be completely off of the Valium before I feel healing, I am empowered by how good I feel and that many are beginning to see that there are other ways of getting off of Benzo's and it does not have to be horrific. Just my thoughts and my four cents.

 

There is definitely something to be said to not overthinking it. Aston warns us against spending too much time thinking about our symptoms. Listen to your body, adjust, do what works for you. So very happy to hear how well you are doing, BG. You are an inspiration to me to be patient! 

When I am patient and slow I find my symptoms become tolerable. But it did take me one very long hold (6+ months) to get to this point. Holding this week just to be safe! 

[[an...]]

My first taper was a piece of cake compared to this one.  I did up dose by a lot (I think I tripled my dose)  until I felt stable.  I then started my taper.  It went well all the way down (cutting 10% a week)  to 0.01 mg. The only time I experienced symptoms was if I made a mistake measuring my doses.  This time is different.  The 10% every two weeks has been too much for me.  I realized that after tapering this way for about a year.  Now, I cut about 3 to 5% a month with incorporated holds.  Things are much better now, but I still do experience some symptoms--not as intense as they were though.  In hindsight, I should have up dosed a bit more to fully stabilize before I started my taper.  In addition, I should have decreased my taper rate from 20% down to 5 or 10% per month.  From my experiences, I do believe the key to a comfortable taper is getting as stable as you possibly can before starting the taper.  It is too late now for me to do that for this taper, but like Begood, I plan on walking off and not jumping.  That means holds and occasional dose corrections.

 

I believe that healing takes place as we taper.  If not, then there would be no reason to taper. When I walked off the first time, I had no symptoms or issues whatsoever--I was completely healed long before I "walked off" at 0.01 mg.    I think that dose corrections and "taper vacations" are all great tools that can be used to help with a smooth and  comfortable taper.  They might not be for everyone, but they are available.

 

Anne

[[an...]]

Thank you Anne, Valley, BGood and Gardner (hopefully I didnt miss anyone),

 

I really appreciate all the input.  It's harder for me  to let go of my 'plan' of cutting every two weeks and having a set jump date than I would have guessed...  So now I have no real plan. except to recover from this last cut to 1.5 mg and to have a good April and May. 

 

Wow what is life going to be like when I am not thinking about my next cut all the time 

 

Love you guys!  I'll be hanging out here some for a while. :smitten:

 

Hi George,

 

You will get there before you know it.  We all will.  I think patience and listening to your body is the way to go. 

 

Welcome to the group.

Anne

[[Ca...]]

Hey George... welcome also...

I havnt been here that long...

I havnt laughed so much for ages, If u havnt been following, flick back through the pages to see why...

-I best run... If BG catches me im in bug trouble... She sent me to bed hours ago, for my insomnia...

Its 4:30am here now... Guess im a non compliant patient...

Cheers.

[[ga...]]

Hey George... welcome also...

I havnt been here that long...

I havnt laughed so much for ages, If u havnt been following, flick back through the pages to see why...

-I best run... If BG catches me im in bug trouble... She sent me to bed hours ago, for my insomnia...

Its 4:30am here now... Guess im a non compliant patient...

Cheers.

:nono:

 

[[Ch...]]

My hold is now into its 13th month.

 

I'd like to be getting on with my taper, but I am in no position to cut. I have to sort out a slew of issues in my life and somehow escape an abuse situation before I can even think about it.

 

It is so frustrating. I just don't feel strong enough to withstand tapering and fight the battles I have to fight at the same time.

 

Anyone else faced this dilemma?