The Long Hold Support Group

[[Pl...]]

If I go up to the next increment do I do all three doses at once?  I dose 3xs a day at 102 .... Would I do 103 all at once 3xs a day?  My jaw is moving up and down again like crazy and my head is thrashing up and down.....

 

I can't take this anymore....

[[ga...]]

I'm so sorry, Please. Hang in there. I don't understand what you are saying about your dosing. I dose 3 times/day and go up or down on all 3 at once, each equally and each very small. It's to keep my blood levels even. Others have no trouble with uneven doses, but I prefer even doses. I also get my jaw snapping, but not over and over. And other muscle jerks. Seems the more relaxed I am, the more the jerking. But I learned I need to relax and let them jerk when I feel really tired because my brain and body need rest. It's very scary, though. I hope that helps.

 

Gard

[[be...]]

http://commons.trincoll.edu/admissions-sophie/files/2013/02/valentineschicken.jpg

Now we are right on track.....with some awesome Chicken :D

[[be...]]

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"TURTLES Rock"

It is nice that the Turtle and Chicken can coexist. :smitten:

[[Va...]]

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http://www.animated-gifs.eu/valentine-uk/35.gif

 

"TURTLES Rock"

It is nice that the Turtle and Chicken can coexist. :smitten:

[[ho...]]

If I go up to the next increment do I do all three doses at once?  I dose 3xs a day at 102 .... Would I do 103 all at once 3xs a day?  My jaw is moving up and down again like crazy and my head is thrashing up and down.....

 

I can't take this anymore....

didn't bataid tell you people do not hold long enough? Or did they suggest doing another updose this close? It's the fact that you were cold turkeyed and they reinstated you on a different benzo. Even if it was the same benzo (ativan)  this could have happened. I know many people who have reinstated after cold turkey and this has happened. If you were to updose it would be all three doses to keep them even, but is that advisable to do another updose after only doing one four weeks ago? I'm so sorry you're suffering through this. I hope your brother can call una again and see what they advise. Hugs to you. You're so strong 

[[Pl...]]

If I go up to the next increment do I do all three doses at once?  I dose 3xs a day at 102 .... Would I do 103 all at once 3xs a day?  My jaw is moving up and down again like crazy and my head is thrashing up and down.....

 

I can't take this anymore....

didn't bataid tell you people do not hold long enough? Or did they suggest doing another updose this close? It's the fact that you were cold turkeyed and they reinstated you on a different benzo. Even if it was the same benzo (ativan)  this could have happened. I know many people who have reinstated after cold turkey and this has happened. If you were to updose it would be all three doses to keep them even, but is that advisable to do another updose after only doing one four weeks ago? I'm so sorry you're suffering through this. I hope your brother can call una again and see what they advise. Hugs to you. You're so strong

Nicole... Yes thats why this is happening... the prior cold turkey and different benzo now...I'm starting to think I need to do a cold turkey with help of some sort as I'm so severe ... Its been an emergency for so long..... The people you know that were in my situation what happened to them? Were they as severe as me? What did they do?

 

I know how severe ct sxs can be... But this is killing me... The side effects of the drug everything...the mental alone let alone the physical...... I never felt good on this drug ever.... I feel like I'm not gonna make it.... Its impossible tapering this let alone trying to reach some sort of stability.... Its like an emergency everyday...

 

I'm trying I'm trying I can't do anymore.... I can feel the brain damage... Everytime I take the drug all I can do is lay down I'm so debilitated.... I can't take care of myself... I feel poisoned on this...

 

I can't stay strong anymore... I'm mentally and physically deteriorating

 

I'm sorry for my posts... I know I'm wearing everybody out.... It feels so hopeless

 

[[ly...]]

 

 

Please,

 

I can't tell from your signature whether you updosed or not.  I would do what BAT advised.  I think they told you to keep updosing until you felt well.  I don't know that anyone here would know more than the people at BAT.  I don't know what else to say.  I'm very sorry that you are so ill.

[[ho...]]

If I go up to the next increment do I do all three doses at once?  I dose 3xs a day at 102 .... Would I do 103 all at once 3xs a day?  My jaw is moving up and down again like crazy and my head is thrashing up and down.....

 

I can't take this anymore....

didn't bataid tell you people do not hold long enough? Or did they suggest doing another updose this close? It's the fact that you were cold turkeyed and they reinstated you on a different benzo. Even if it was the same benzo (ativan)  this could have happened. I know many people who have reinstated after cold turkey and this has happened. If you were to updose it would be all three doses to keep them even, but is that advisable to do another updose after only doing one four weeks ago? I'm so sorry you're suffering through this. I hope your brother can call una again and see what they advise. Hugs to you. You're so strong

Nicole... Yes thats why this is happening... the prior cold turkey and different benzo now...I'm starting to think I need to do a cold turkey with help of some sort as I'm so severe ... Its been an emergency for so long..... The people you know that were in my situation what happened to them? Were they as severe as me? What did they do?

 

I know how severe ct sxs can be... But this is killing me... The side effects of the drug everything...the mental alone let alone the physical...... I never felt good on this drug ever.... I feel like I'm not gonna make it.... Its impossible tapering this let alone trying to reach some sort of stability.... Its like an emergency everyday...

 

I'm trying I'm trying I can't do anymore.... I can feel the brain damage... Everytime I take the drug all I can do is lay down I'm so debilitated.... I can't take care of myself... I feel poisoned on this...

 

I can't stay strong anymore... I'm mentally and physically deteriorating

 

I'm sorry for my posts... I know I'm wearing everybody out.... It feels so hopeless

remember when we messaged a while back and my friend who was kindled and was an epileptic, explained the myclonic seizure episodes? He is healed now. However it took time.  However I can't  advise you at this point what to do. I believe you should talk to your brother maybe? I know you are greatly suffering, I  do not want to give you the wrong advise pbh. I  definitely would not go to the same doctor who reinstated you at ten months out on a different benzo. Are you near California?

[[Pl...]]

Una said that yes the ativan withdrawal is complicating the kolonopin reinstatement ....and  Do small increments as to not overshoot what I would need... also the milk put me in a ct state...

 

That's why I'm having a harder time then most on here because I was off already 10 months .... Its possible no matter what I do it just may not work .. That's my opinion...

 

There were tiny improvements but I'm in a constant anxiety state ... My sxs are unlivable...

My brother is going to try una again....

 

In my severe state would a ct and another adjunct med help? I don't know.... I can't take gabapentin.... I feel so stuck with no one but you guys....

 

 

[[Pl...]]

If I go up to the next increment do I do all three doses at once?  I dose 3xs a day at 102 .... Would I do 103 all at once 3xs a day?  My jaw is moving up and down again like crazy and my head is thrashing up and down.....

 

I can't take this anymore....

didn't bataid tell you people do not hold long enough? Or did they suggest doing another updose this close? It's the fact that you were cold turkeyed and they reinstated you on a different benzo. Even if it was the same benzo (ativan)  this could have happened. I know many people who have reinstated after cold turkey and this has happened. If you were to updose it would be all three doses to keep them even, but is that advisable to do another updose after only doing one four weeks ago? I'm so sorry you're suffering through this. I hope your brother can call una again and see what they advise. Hugs to you. You're so strong

Nicole... Yes thats why this is happening... the prior cold turkey and different benzo now...I'm starting to think I need to do a cold turkey with help of some sort as I'm so severe ... Its been an emergency for so long..... The people you know that were in my situation what happened to them? Were they as severe as me? What did they do?

 

I know how severe ct sxs can be... But this is killing me... The side effects of the drug everything...the mental alone let alone the physical...... I never felt good on this drug ever.... I feel like I'm not gonna make it.... Its impossible tapering this let alone trying to reach some sort of stability.... Its like an emergency everyday...

 

I'm trying I'm trying I can't do anymore.... I can feel the brain damage... Everytime I take the drug all I can do is lay down I'm so debilitated.... I can't take care of myself... I feel poisoned on this...

 

I can't stay strong anymore... I'm mentally and physically deteriorating

 

I'm sorry for my posts... I know I'm wearing everybody out.... It feels so hopeless

remember when we messaged a while back and my friend who was kindled and was an epileptic, explained the myclonic seizure episodes? He is healed now. However it took time.  However I can't  advise you at this point what to do. I believe you should talk to your brother maybe? I know you are greatly suffering, I  do not want to give you the wrong advise pbh. I  definitely would not go to the same doctor who reinstated you at ten months out on a different benzo. Are you near California?

 

No.... I'm by NYC but he liberally gives me the meds so I can taper....

 

Nicole my episodes start with energy rushing from my chest into my face where my neck convulses and then my head tremors and then my whole jaw and mouth goes crazy.... Its more then just jerking in my body.... This has to be brain damage or side effects.... Its horrific....

 

It wears me out physically and mentally its draining my body

[[ho...]]

Una said that yes the ativan withdrawal is complicating the kolonopin reinstatement ....and  Do small increments as to not overshoot what I would need... also the milk put me in a ct state...

 

That's why I'm having a harder time then most on here because I was off already 10 months .... Its possible no matter what I do it just may not work .. That's my opinion...

 

There were tiny improvements but I'm in a constant anxiety state ... My sxs are unlivable...

My brother is going to try una again....

 

In my severe state would a ct and another adjunct med help? I don't know.... I can't take gabapentin.... I feel so stuck with no one but you guys....

yes I would try una again. Is there not a long term facility there for this in NY? Probably not unfortunately, I would talk to una at bataid again as soon as possible. Just my opinion but another CT would not be good but don't listen to me, see what una says. It's only been four weeks since you updosed. And had the window. But as una suggested you don't want to over do it with the updosing. Calling them is what I suggest. Praying for you. You will get through this.

[[Pl...]]

 

 

Please,

 

I can't tell from your signature whether you updosed or not.  I would do what BAT advised.  I think they told you to keep updosing until you felt well.  I don't know that anyone here would know more than the people at BAT.  I don't know what else to say.  I'm very sorry that you are so ill.

 

Thank you Lynn.... I'm just trying to troubleshoot and not feel so alone... I just feel so alone being tortured like this daily

[[ly...]]

Una said that yes the ativan withdrawal is complicating the kolonopin reinstatement ....and  Do small increments as to not overshoot what I would need... also the milk put me in a ct state...

 

That's why I'm having a harder time then most on here because I was off already 10 months .... Its possible no matter what I do it just may not work .. That's my opinion...

 

There were tiny improvements but I'm in a constant anxiety state ... My sxs are unlivable...

My brother is going to try una again....

 

In my severe state would a ct and another adjunct med help? I don't know.... I can't take gabapentin.... I feel so stuck with no one but you guys....

yes I would try una again. Is there not a long term facility there for this in NY? Probably not unfortunately, I would talk to una at bataid again as soon as possible. Just my opinion but another CT would not be good but don't listen to me, see what una says. It's only been four weeks since you updosed. And had the window. But as una suggested you don't want to over do it with the updosing. Calling them is what I suggest. Praying for you. You will get through this.

 

It looks like BAT said to keep updosing in small increments until you feel well?  I think that probably means more than the one updose a month or so ago.  Did they really mean just one small updose?  I'm confused.

[[Pl...]]

Una said that yes the ativan withdrawal is complicating the kolonopin reinstatement ....and  Do small increments as to not overshoot what I would need... also the milk put me in a ct state...

 

That's why I'm having a harder time then most on here because I was off already 10 months .... Its possible no matter what I do it just may not work .. That's my opinion...

 

There were tiny improvements but I'm in a constant anxiety state ... My sxs are unlivable...

My brother is going to try una again....

 

In my severe state would a ct and another adjunct med help? I don't know.... I can't take gabapentin.... I feel so stuck with no one but you guys....

yes I would try una again. Is there not a long term facility there for this in NY? Probably not unfortunately, I would talk to una at bataid again as soon as possible. Just my opinion but another CT would not be good but don't listen to me, see what una says. It's only been four weeks since you updosed. And had the window. But as una suggested you don't want to over do it with the updosing. Calling them is what I suggest. Praying for you. You will get through this.

 

She did note that it would get worse before it got better... Yes.. I was going to hold another month at this dose as there are tiny improvements...yeah that's the part ... I don't want to overshoot

 

Lynn. I was down to 100 grams which isn't in my signature... Did that too quick... Then went back to 102 grams...

[[ly...]]

Una said that yes the ativan withdrawal is complicating the kolonopin reinstatement ....and  Do small increments as to not overshoot what I would need... also the milk put me in a ct state...

 

That's why I'm having a harder time then most on here because I was off already 10 months .... Its possible no matter what I do it just may not work .. That's my opinion...

 

There were tiny improvements but I'm in a constant anxiety state ... My sxs are unlivable...

My brother is going to try una again....

 

In my severe state would a ct and another adjunct med help? I don't know.... I can't take gabapentin.... I feel so stuck with no one but you guys....

yes I would try una again. Is there not a long term facility there for this in NY? Probably not unfortunately, I would talk to una at bataid again as soon as possible. Just my opinion but another CT would not be good but don't listen to me, see what una says. It's only been four weeks since you updosed. And had the window. But as una suggested you don't want to over do it with the updosing. Calling them is what I suggest. Praying for you. You will get through this.

 

She did note that it would get worse before it got better... Yes.. I was going to hold another month at this dose as there are tiny improvements...yeah that's the part ... I don't want to overshoot

 

Lynn. I was down to 100 grams which isn't in my signature... Did that too quick... Then went back to 102 grams...

 

So, you've done one 2% updose a month ago?  Is this what they advised?  I know you don't want to overshoot but this hardly seems like anything. 

[[Pl...]]

Una said that yes the ativan withdrawal is complicating the kolonopin reinstatement ....and  Do small increments as to not overshoot what I would need... also the milk put me in a ct state...

 

That's why I'm having a harder time then most on here because I was off already 10 months .... Its possible no matter what I do it just may not work .. That's my opinion...

 

There were tiny improvements but I'm in a constant anxiety state ... My sxs are unlivable...

My brother is going to try una again....

 

In my severe state would a ct and another adjunct med help? I don't know.... I can't take gabapentin.... I feel so stuck with no one but you guys....

yes I would try una again. Is there not a long term facility there for this in NY? Probably not unfortunately, I would talk to una at bataid again as soon as possible. Just my opinion but another CT would not be good but don't listen to me, see what una says. It's only been four weeks since you updosed. And had the window. But as una suggested you don't want to over do it with the updosing. Calling them is what I suggest. Praying for you. You will get through this.

 

It looks like BAT said to keep updosing in small increments until you feel well?  I think that probably means more than the one updose a month or so ago.  Did they really mean just one small updose?  I'm confused.

 

She said to updose in small increments but that you have to hold in between the doses to give it time... until you find a dose your body will tolerate....what that is wasnt specific as its individual on how your body is responding....so as not to take more then you really need... Also that it gets worse before it gets better...

[[Pl...]]

Una said that yes the ativan withdrawal is complicating the kolonopin reinstatement ....and  Do small increments as to not overshoot what I would need... also the milk put me in a ct state...

 

That's why I'm having a harder time then most on here because I was off already 10 months .... Its possible no matter what I do it just may not work .. That's my opinion...

 

There were tiny improvements but I'm in a constant anxiety state ... My sxs are unlivable...

My brother is going to try una again....

 

In my severe state would a ct and another adjunct med help? I don't know.... I can't take gabapentin.... I feel so stuck with no one but you guys....

yes I would try una again. Is there not a long term facility there for this in NY? Probably not unfortunately, I would talk to una at bataid again as soon as possible. Just my opinion but another CT would not be good but don't listen to me, see what una says. It's only been four weeks since you updosed. And had the window. But as una suggested you don't want to over do it with the updosing. Calling them is what I suggest. Praying for you. You will get through this.

 

She did note that it would get worse before it got better... Yes.. I was going to hold another month at this dose as there are tiny improvements...yeah that's the part ... I don't want to overshoot

 

Lynn. I was down to 100 grams which isn't in my signature... Did that too quick... Then went back to 102 grams...

 

So, you've done one 2% updose a month ago?  Is this what they advised?  I know you don't want to overshoot but this hardly seems like anything.

 

It is for me... any tiny reduction or increase I feel it.... It is very very potent for me... My nervous system has been intensely sensitized from my prior use... Even if I didn't have the prior issue I still couldn't function on this drug.... Its too powerful....

 

I was never warned and didn't know about the potency and didnt catch up with me until a few weeks later...

 

That's why this is such a balancing act.... I'm taking the equivalent of i think bout 18 mg Valium which is outrageous for someone like me.... I could barely handle 1 mg ativan.... Which is half that

 

Its not so cut and dry. That's why it feels like a no win situation to me... :'(

[[St...]]

so...updoses get worse before they get better?  I am in somewhat the same situation pbh, I cut my v too much for my body about 3 mo in a r0w and started having seizure like sxs too...got checked out at ER and doc and everything came out ok, not "real" seizures.  BUt then I did an updose (per doc) of 2 mg of v from 6mg to 8 mg about 3 weeks ago.  I think I feel a tiny improvement, not constantly seizing like every minute, but still extremely shaking and debilitated, and still seize up about 4 or 5 times a day, and then get this feeling of not being able to move, like I am frozen in place.  Awful.  I updosed all 2 mg at once, did not know I was supposed to do it slowly..  Hoping this is going to work...I'm having a hard time typing and living life at all at present too.  my hands don't work like my brain tells them too...

 

Just want you to know you are not alone.  Does Bat let people from US call them too, I didn't know that...hang in there second by second, it does get very wearing......Stella

[[ly...]]

 

 

Please,

 

It's really too bad that there isn't some expert in the NY area that you can consult with one on one.

[[Pl...]]

so...updoses get worse before they get better?  I am in somewhat the same situation pbh, I cut my v too much for my body about 3 mo in a r0w and started having seizure like sxs too...got checked out at ER and doc and everything came out ok, not "real" seizures.  BUt then I did an updose (per doc) of 2 mg of v from 6mg to 8 mg about 3 weeks ago.  I think I feel a tiny improvement, not constantly seizing like every minute, but still extremely shaking and debilitated, and still seize up about 4 or 5 times a day, and then get this feeling of not being able to move, like I am frozen in place.  Awful.  I updosed all 2 mg at once, did not know I was supposed to do it slowly..  Hoping this is going to work...I'm having a hard time typing and living life at all at present too.  my hands don't work like my brain tells them too...

 

Just want you to know you are not alone.  Does Bat let people from US call them too, I didn't know that...hang in there second by second, it does get very wearing......Stella

Thank you..., yes updosing can be nonlinear as well... If you went back up to the last dose you felt well at... I would think that would be fine... I never had a normal feeling well baseline because of my history... Complicates everything

[[Pl...]]

 

 

Please,

 

It's really too bad that there isn't some expert in the NY area that you can consult with one on one.

I know Lynn... I don't know what's happening to me.... :'(

[[ho...]]

Pbh have you posted on the cold turkey thread? I'm sure there may be someone there that was reinstated on a different benzo as far off as you were. Just an idea. Hugs

[[Pl...]]

Pbh have you posted on the cold turkey thread? I'm sure there may be someone there that was reinstated on a different benzo as far off as you were. Just an idea. Hugs

 

Ok Nicole.... Ill try to tackle that at some point.... Feeling sick right now

[[...]]

Valley of course you would pick [glow=red,2,300]"CHICKENS"[/glow], why didn't I see that coming...... :D

It was the only choice as you already took the turtle lol. 

 

So perfect for you Valley! And CONGRATULATIONS on your recent reduction! Are you still doing the 10 days on 10 off method ? Glad you are feeling mostly good too...