The Long Hold Support Group

[[...]]

Lots of people to respond to, so I'll just say...... I'm really sorry for everyone having difficult time with symptoms I also seem to be just in a rut with every day being pretty much the same , not better , not worse . I am definitely better than I was before my hold , however the burning continues .... Seems like that never goes away. I get some time in the morning where I feel ok , and then again in the evening , afternoons are the hardest. I feel like my burning increases after I take my lunch dose of V ....

Heath , I'm glad youre going home ... Excitement definitely  revs up symptoms ! Gard , sending you hugs , you too Stellabee. 

ATU , you seem to have a good perspective on all this , Begood and Valley too.... I'm really happy you are doing well Valley! Good news! You bounced back pretty well from these last months of cutting.

 

Love to everyone , MiYu 

[[ga...]]

Sorry you still have that burning, Miyu. It is my most difficult symptom. But mine goes up and down like a yo-yo, or like a rollercoaster. No pattern at all. Right now it has settled down into my feet, which is where I prefer it to be!

 

V, now you be good and don't go speeding up your taper again! Your chickens need you.

 

Heath, so glad you will be home soon.

 

Stella, I do hope this improvement is a trend! 

 

To All, we are one day closer to freedom!

 

Gard

[[be...]]

Sorry you still have that burning, Miyu. It is my most difficult symptom. But mine goes up and down like a yo-yo, or like a rollercoaster. No pattern at all. Right now it has settled down into my feet, which is where I prefer it to be!

 

V, now you be good and don't go speeding up your taper again! Your chickens need you.

 

Heath, so glad you will be home soon.

 

Stella, I do hope this improvement is a trend! 

 

To All, we are one day closer to freedom!

 

Gard

"To All, we are one day closer to freedom!"   Gard good quote

[[...]]

Sorry you still have that burning, Miyu. It is my most difficult symptom. But mine goes up and down like a yo-yo, or like a rollercoaster. No pattern at all. Right now it has settled down into my feet, which is where I prefer it to be!

 

V, now you be good and don't go speeding up your taper again! Your chickens need you.

 

Heath, so glad you will be home soon.

 

Stella, I do hope this improvement is a trend! 

 

Yes , it's mine too Gard..... Always in my upper body though , back , chest , stomach. Seems to increase after I take a dose of V, and at its lowest in the mornings .....  sorry you get it too , I think it's pretty common ....

 

To All, we are one day closer to freedom!

 

Gard

[[an...]]

Heath,

 

It will get better.  Between the cut and Vegas I can see why you have an uptick in symptoms.  I love Vegas, but I could not handle it now.  Too much stress (good stress).  I have found that any type of stress, good or bad, will cause an uptick in my symptoms. 

 

You will feel better soon.  We always do.

 

Anne  :smitten:

[[an...]]

MiYu,

 

I am so sorry.  I hope you find some relief soon.  You will, but it might take a bit longer than you like.

 

Take care.

Anne  :smitten:

[[an...]]

 

 

Was the same way yesterday, Heath. Overly confident and cut too big. It caught up with me. In a total panic. Symptoms through the roof. This is the nasty game the benzos play! I think Las Vegas might be a bad place to be right now! Glad you are heading home. Think rest and time and you will get better days. 

 

Gard

 

Feel better soon Gard.  I agree that Vegas would be too much for me right now.

 

Take good care.

Anne  :smitten:

[[Al...]]

Miyu,

 

I read an article by I dont remeber who but the writer said that when these sxs arise you have to fool them back. For example when I went through a period of burning skin mainly on my arms, I used an ointment from the dollar store calked Icecold. Its a blue semi translucent gel. I would spread it all over my arms and it felt very cool. Before long the burning stopped.

 

Now I dont know if it was because I fooled my skin into thinking it wa back to normal or if it was just then finished running its course but it worked.

 

If you haven't tried it already, give it a go! It may at least help ease the pain. Fool our senses!

 

Hugs

 

ATU 🙏

[[St...]]

yay V, so happy for you.  You deserve it!  Stella

 

[[Me...]]

May I join?  I was switched, after 30 years of prescribed Xanax, to Klonapin 1mg, twice a day. The Xanax seemed to rather suddenly bottom out on me. I have been on the Klonapin, as prescribed, for 5 months now and it is helping however, horror tales led me to feel I need to hurry to taper off the Klonapin before it stops working as my Xanax had. I first tried to cut back by 1/4mg per day ( I was ignorant then) and crashed so, went back to my original prescribed dose of Klonapin. Eight weeks later, a psychiatrist told me to wean by 1/8mg per week.....Bad advise...Too fast and after a week I crashed and went back up, once again, to my originally prescribed dose , just 3 days ago and starting to feel better.

In the past year, I have been hospitalized 3 times, unsuccessful rehab clinic for two weeks, had to foreclose on my home of 10 years, surrender pets, unable to work my profession , moved in with my elderly parents and put on Social Security Disability at age 56!

Because of all this financial and emotional trauma, I feel as if I just want to hold off on any taper for about 6 months or so to process and heal all that has happened but some make me feel this is a race and that the Klonapin may suddenly begin to lose effectiveness. This scares the shidiggity out of me and makes me feel pressured to once again try to wean and soon. My plan is a slow and lower taper of about 2% every 2 weeks, holding as needed. BUT I DO NOT want to start tapering now. I want to stay on my originally prescribed dose of 1mg twice a day of Klonapin for several months and recover from this past year. Opinions , advice and knowledge highly appreciated !!!! Thank you All.

 

[[ho...]]

May I join?  I was switched, after 30 years of prescribed Xanax, to Klonapin 1mg, twice a day. The Xanax seemed to rather suddenly bottom out on me. I have been on the Klonapin, as prescribed, for 5 months now and it is helping however, horror tales led me to feel I need to hurry to taper off the Klonapin before it stops working as my Xanax had. I first tried to cut back by 1/4mg per day ( I was ignorant then) and crashed so, went back to my original prescribed dose of Klonapin. Eight weeks later, a psychiatrist told me to wean by 1/8mg per week.....Bad advise...Too fast and after a week I crashed and went back up, once again, to my originally prescribed dose , just 3 days ago and starting to feel better.

In the past year, I have been hospitalized 3 times, unsuccessful rehab clinic for two weeks, had to foreclose on my home of 10 years, surrender pets, unable to work my profession , moved in with my elderly parents and put on Social Security Disability at age 56!

Because of all this financial and emotional trauma, I feel as if I just want to hold off on any taper for about 6 months or so to process and heal all that has happened but some make me feel this is a race and that the Klonapin may suddenly begin to lose effectiveness. This scares the shidiggity out of me and makes me feel pressured to once again try to wean and soon. My plan is a slow and lower taper of about 2% every 2 weeks, holding as needed. BUT I DO NOT want to start tapering now. I want to stay on my originally prescribed dose of 1mg twice a day of Klonapin for several months and recover from this past year. Opinions , advice and knowledge highly appreciated !!!! Thank you All.

I'm coming up on four months of holding after doing huge cuts. I have lost a lot in this past year as well from this journey. I've had a lot of life stressors recently so I feel holding for now is best for me. Unfortunately there is no rushing this process. And every change we make affects us. I'm sure others will chime in.

[[jr...]]

May I join?  I was switched, after 30 years of prescribed Xanax, to Klonapin 1mg, twice a day. The Xanax seemed to rather suddenly bottom out on me. I have been on the Klonapin, as prescribed, for 5 months now and it is helping however, horror tales led me to feel I need to hurry to taper off the Klonapin before it stops working as my Xanax had. I first tried to cut back by 1/4mg per day ( I was ignorant then) and crashed so, went back to my original prescribed dose of Klonapin. Eight weeks later, a psychiatrist told me to wean by 1/8mg per week.....Bad advise...Too fast and after a week I crashed and went back up, once again, to my originally prescribed dose , just 3 days ago and starting to feel better.

In the past year, I have been hospitalized 3 times, unsuccessful rehab clinic for two weeks, had to foreclose on my home of 10 years, surrender pets, unable to work my profession , moved in with my elderly parents and put on Social Security Disability at age 56!

Because of all this financial and emotional trauma, I feel as if I just want to hold off on any taper for about 6 months or so to process and heal all that has happened but some make me feel this is a race and that the Klonapin may suddenly begin to lose effectiveness. This scares the shidiggity out of me and makes me feel pressured to once again try to wean and soon. My plan is a slow and lower taper of about 2% every 2 weeks, holding as needed. BUT I DO NOT want to start tapering now. I want to stay on my originally prescribed dose of 1mg twice a day of Klonapin for several months and recover from this past year. Opinions , advice and knowledge highly appreciated !!!! Thank you All.

 

 

Holding a dose for a long period should not be a problem what soever. I know of a person here who held for a full year. I think once you become stable, I would consider a daily micro taper. it is the easiest way off. instead of cutting and holding , you reduce a small amount each day and give your body a chance to get used to it.

[[Va...]]

May I join?  I was switched, after 30 years of prescribed Xanax, to Klonapin 1mg, twice a day. The Xanax seemed to rather suddenly bottom out on me. I have been on the Klonapin, as prescribed, for 5 months now and it is helping however, horror tales led me to feel I need to hurry to taper off the Klonapin before it stops working as my Xanax had. I first tried to cut back by 1/4mg per day ( I was ignorant then) and crashed so, went back to my original prescribed dose of Klonapin. Eight weeks later, a psychiatrist told me to wean by 1/8mg per week.....Bad advise...Too fast and after a week I crashed and went back up, once again, to my originally prescribed dose , just 3 days ago and starting to feel better.

In the past year, I have been hospitalized 3 times, unsuccessful rehab clinic for two weeks, had to foreclose on my home of 10 years, surrender pets, unable to work my profession , moved in with my elderly parents and put on Social Security Disability at age 56!

Because of all this financial and emotional trauma, I feel as if I just want to hold off on any taper for about 6 months or so to process and heal all that has happened but some make me feel this is a race and that the Klonapin may suddenly begin to lose effectiveness. This scares the shidiggity out of me and makes me feel pressured to once again try to wean and soon. My plan is a slow and lower taper of about 2% every 2 weeks, holding as needed. BUT I DO NOT want to start tapering now. I want to stay on my originally prescribed dose of 1mg twice a day of Klonapin for several months and recover from this past year. Opinions , advice and knowledge highly appreciated !!!! Thank you All.

Welcome Mellow!  You've had a rough journey. Slow and steady wins the race.  Don't let the anxiety rush you. It sounds like you have a good plan for going slowly. Try not to stress over the process. You'll be fine as long as you listen to your body. Support is here whenever you need it.  --V

[[be...]]

May I join?  I was switched, after 30 years of prescribed Xanax, to Klonapin 1mg, twice a day. The Xanax seemed to rather suddenly bottom out on me. I have been on the Klonapin, as prescribed, for 5 months now and it is helping however, horror tales led me to feel I need to hurry to taper off the Klonapin before it stops working as my Xanax had. I first tried to cut back by 1/4mg per day ( I was ignorant then) and crashed so, went back to my original prescribed dose of Klonapin. Eight weeks later, a psychiatrist told me to wean by 1/8mg per week.....Bad advise...Too fast and after a week I crashed and went back up, once again, to my originally prescribed dose , just 3 days ago and starting to feel better.

In the past year, I have been hospitalized 3 times, unsuccessful rehab clinic for two weeks, had to foreclose on my home of 10 years, surrender pets, unable to work my profession , moved in with my elderly parents and put on Social Security Disability at age 56!

Because of all this financial and emotional trauma, I feel as if I just want to hold off on any taper for about 6 months or so to process and heal all that has happened but some make me feel this is a race and that the Klonapin may suddenly begin to lose effectiveness. This scares the shidiggity out of me and makes me feel pressured to once again try to wean and soon. My plan is a slow and lower taper of about 2% every 2 weeks, holding as needed. BUT I DO NOT want to start tapering now. I want to stay on my originally prescribed dose of 1mg twice a day of Klonapin for several months and recover from this past year. Opinions , advice and knowledge highly appreciated !!!! Thank you All.

Welcome Mellowplease. Sorry you have been through so much, I think you have made the right choice for you, it all comes down in the end for us to make the choice to continue or wait for things to settle down. I have not had any problems holding for long periods of time, and really I do not worry about doing it, I just go with the flow of Life, and the holds have helped to stabilize me and now I am doing well in taper. Best to you and everything will work out, so glad you are not buying into going fast and getting off, you will do just fine, but get your feet back on the floor and Peace be with you.

[[Al...]]

Mellowplease,

 

Welcome to this support group.

You have been through a lot thats for sure but put all that history behind you. It will just give you more history to dwell on as you move forward snd that serves no one.

 

Get ypurself stable and take a break. When your ready a nice slow decent should be your ticket! 

 

There will be difficult days, we all have them and there are few who decend without some rough spots but these hard days quickly get replaced with good days and when we keep our eyes on the prise we can get through the process.

 

Im not personally experienced in Klon so I cant say I have any personal knowledge thst way but there is a great bunch on this support thread and you will get all the encouragement and guidance you need.

 

Peace & Healing

 

ATU🙏

[[ga...]]

Welcome, Mellow. I agree with the previous advice. You have been through so much and need some time to heal. I don't think the K is likely to "bottom out" on you so quickly.

 

I sympathize with your plight. I have gone through many similar losses due to illness and then the benzo prescribed to help the illness. Lost marriage. Lost job. Lost home. Re-homed pets. Living with my adult daughter and trying to get my feet back under me. There are many, many stories like ours. You are not alone.

 

I have been trying to get off of my benzo (X crossed to L) for well over 2 years because of ill-advised too-fast tapers. I held for over 6 months to let my brain heal before I started up again recently. And this is going to be the slowest taper ever. I'm actually holding again, perhaps for a month if necessary, because I got impatient and pushed my taper up to 10%/month. I think I'm safer at 5%/month. It's a trial and error process for all of us. But we will get through this.

 

Once your nervous system has been through the wringer, you need to be especially gentle on it. That would include life stress and drug stress. They both take a toll. Holding is sometimes what your nervous system needs.

 

Even when we are holding or turtle-tapering, at the end of the day, we are always one day closer to freedom! (Anybody tired of me saying that yet? )

 

Gard

[[Pl...]]

Guys- I need your help.... I just switched back to pills after being on milk for 6 months and at the advice of a very well known UK organization was given the suggestion to do a slight updose and hold which I have for the past month... Keep in mind I was never stable before all this occurred due to history- just wanted to make it manageable

 

I've been seeing microscopic changes since I've done so... But also have old sxs cycling back in and out.... Is this normal? Some vary change it seems every 24 hours...

 

..I've been debilitated along time and I'm starting to wonder if staying on this drug is even worth it but I can't taper in this condition ... Updosing more not an option... Too potent... What to do?

 

Some frightening sxs at the moment are Elevated heart rate of 140 to 150 just walking into next room..kind of like POTS?. Breathlessness, tremoring/shaking attacks..intense facial ticking head tremors...neck / face convulsions...major muscle cramping in eyes..jaw spasming..severe chemical depression with S Ideation

Dizzy/cog fog akasthesia....muscle wasting/weight loss/ nightmares/terror feelings

Although the dystonic type stuff seems to be lessening in intensity....which is surprising..but still there

 

Major health anxiety

 

Issue: I know these sxs which i am experiencing are injury from ativan and side effects of Kpin... The issue is I feel no amount of holding will fix this because of that and I may be harming myself more

 

Any thoughts please?

 

 

[[be...]]

Hi Please, now was you told to up dose a bit more than you did, I am thinking that perhaps maybe not wanting to go up, you up dosed just a bit, and that may be why you are still not doing well, and I realize I could be wrong, but I thought they wanted you to updose more? I know you have been struggling for so long, but if you are not stable it may get worse for you, but you must make that decision to hold or not, I will say when I have had to up dose in the past two tapers I went up more than a bit, and it did help me to become stable.

[[Pl...]]

Hi Please, now was you told to up dose a bit more than you did, I am thinking that perhaps maybe not wanting to go up, you up dosed just a bit, and that may be why you are still not doing well, and I realize I could be wrong, but I thought they wanted you to updose more? I know you have been struggling for so long, but if you are not stable it may get worse for you, but you must make that decision to hold or not, I will say when I have had to up dose in the past two tapers I went up more than a bit, and it did help me to become stable.

 

I don't know what to do..if I went up a tiny bit more how much time do you give it? Is it that much harder to come down afterwards? . What if it doesn't work? Is it normal to feel worse after updosing?

 

They wanted me to very slowly go up in increments to find a spot with stability; but I was never stable to begin with so I don't even have a baseline to go back to.. It might not even exist....

 

They didnt want me to overshoot or should I say over medicate....I feel stuck

[[be...]]

Hi Please, now was you told to up dose a bit more than you did, I am thinking that perhaps maybe not wanting to go up, you up dosed just a bit, and that may be why you are still not doing well, and I realize I could be wrong, but I thought they wanted you to updose more? I know you have been struggling for so long, but if you are not stable it may get worse for you, but you must make that decision to hold or not, I will say when I have had to up dose in the past two tapers I went up more than a bit, and it did help me to become stable.

 

I don't know what to do..if I went up a tiny bit more how much time do you give it? Is it that much harder to come down afterwards? . What if it doesn't work? Is it normal to feel worse after updosing?

 

They wanted me to very slowly go up in increments to find a spot with stability; but I was never stable to begin with so I don't even have a baseline to go back to.. It might not even exist....

 

They didnt want me to overshoot or should I say over medicate....I feel stuck

Well there is your answer they want you to keep adding small amts until you can become stable, and it seems the small amt has not helped but a little bit, keep trying with very small updoses and how long that is just the thing about this, we can only wait until our Brain starts to catch up, in your case I would not worry how long, it is more let me get a dose where I can function and then do a nice reasonable taper, it worked twice for me, and it will work for you, but you need to not be afraid and not worry how long, I know you have been very sick, but that tells me that your Brain has much catching up to do. I know you said you was never stable to begin with but your body will let you know when it is feeling better. Do not fear, because fear holds us back.

[[ly...]]

Hi Please, now was you told to up dose a bit more than you did, I am thinking that perhaps maybe not wanting to go up, you up dosed just a bit, and that may be why you are still not doing well, and I realize I could be wrong, but I thought they wanted you to updose more? I know you have been struggling for so long, but if you are not stable it may get worse for you, but you must make that decision to hold or not, I will say when I have had to up dose in the past two tapers I went up more than a bit, and it did help me to become stable.

 

I don't know what to do..if I went up a tiny bit more how much time do you give it? Is it that much harder to come down afterwards? . What if it doesn't work? Is it normal to feel worse after updosing?

 

They wanted me to very slowly go up in increments to find a spot with stability; but I was never stable to begin with so I don't even have a baseline to go back to.. It might not even exist....

 

They didnt want me to overshoot or should I say over medicate....I feel stuck

 

Please, that group is known as "the best".  If I were so bad off and didn't know what to do to get better, I would follow their advice and keep updosing until things got to a point where I could function and have a decent life.  I would then stay there for a year if necessary to allow my brain to heal enough to begin a very slow taper.  Shoot, if I felt really well I might just stay pat for a long time.

[[Pl...]]

Hi Please, now was you told to up dose a bit more than you did, I am thinking that perhaps maybe not wanting to go up, you up dosed just a bit, and that may be why you are still not doing well, and I realize I could be wrong, but I thought they wanted you to updose more? I know you have been struggling for so long, but if you are not stable it may get worse for you, but you must make that decision to hold or not, I will say when I have had to up dose in the past two tapers I went up more than a bit, and it did help me to become stable.

 

I don't know what to do..if I went up a tiny bit more how much time do you give it? Is it that much harder to come down afterwards? . What if it doesn't work? Is it normal to feel worse after updosing?

 

They wanted me to very slowly go up in increments to find a spot with stability; but I was never stable to begin with so I don't even have a baseline to go back to.. It might not even exist....

 

They didnt want me to overshoot or should I say over medicate....I feel stuck

Well there is your answer they want you to keep adding small amts until you can become stable, and it seems the small amt has not helped but a little bit, keep trying with very small updoses and how long that is just the thing about this, we can only wait until our Brain starts to catch up, in your case I would not worry how long, it is more let me get a dose where I can function and then do a nice reasonable taper, it worked twice for me, and it will work for you, but you need to not be afraid and not worry how long, I know you have been very sick, but that tells me that your Brain has much catching up to do. I know you said you was never stable to begin with but your body will let you know when it is feeling better. Do not fear, because fear holds us back.

 

That's just it the fear.... Because I've never done this before I don't know if I'm going in the right direction...

 

The thing that keeps getting me is I hate the way I feel on the drug and I'm also afraid that in the end ( if I make it there) this will all be for nothing because all the sxs I'm experiencing now will be waiting for me.... Basically I feel the Kpin is just barely covering up the ativan injury just temporarily...

its all going to come back out again...

 

I also keep thinking the properties of Kpin are different as holding doesn't seem to work like for Valium.... am I wrong in my assumption?

 

If my thinking is faulty; please challenge me and help me change it.... all I can do is lay on a couch all day due to sxs.... its a terrible existence... As Miyu once said she felt like she was dying ... Same here...

 

 

[[be...]]

Hi Please, now was you told to up dose a bit more than you did, I am thinking that perhaps maybe not wanting to go up, you up dosed just a bit, and that may be why you are still not doing well, and I realize I could be wrong, but I thought they wanted you to updose more? I know you have been struggling for so long, but if you are not stable it may get worse for you, but you must make that decision to hold or not, I will say when I have had to up dose in the past two tapers I went up more than a bit, and it did help me to become stable.

 

I don't know what to do..if I went up a tiny bit more how much time do you give it? Is it that much harder to come down afterwards? . What if it doesn't work? Is it normal to feel worse after updosing?

 

They wanted me to very slowly go up in increments to find a spot with stability; but I was never stable to begin with so I don't even have a baseline to go back to.. It might not even exist....

 

They didnt want me to overshoot or should I say over medicate....I feel stuck

Well there is your answer they want you to keep adding small amts until you can become stable, and it seems the small amt has not helped but a little bit, keep trying with very small updoses and how long that is just the thing about this, we can only wait until our Brain starts to catch up, in your case I would not worry how long, it is more let me get a dose where I can function and then do a nice reasonable taper, it worked twice for me, and it will work for you, but you need to not be afraid and not worry how long, I know you have been very sick, but that tells me that your Brain has much catching up to do. I know you said you was never stable to begin with but your body will let you know when it is feeling better. Do not fear, because fear holds us back.

 

That's just it the fear.... Because I've never done this before I don't know if I'm going in the right direction...

 

The thing that keeps getting me is I hate the way I feel on the drug and I'm also afraid that in the end ( if I make it there) this will all be for nothing because all the sxs I'm experiencing now will be waiting for me.... Basically I feel the Kpin is just barely covering up the ativan injury just temporarily...

its all going to come back out again...

 

I also keep thinking the properties of Kpin are different as holding doesn't seem to work like for Valium.... am I wrong in my assumption?

 

If my thinking is faulty; please challenge me and help me change it.... all I can do is lay on a couch all day due to sxs.... its a terrible existence... As Miyu once said she felt like she was dying ... Same here...

But you will never know will you if you allow your fear of the unknown take residence in your house, I have a gut feeling that you need to up dose like you were told and not to overthink everything, you know I was in the pits of hell twice and I just had to give up the overthinking and such it was killing me literally. Lynn gave you good advice, it is your taper and all we want for you is what you want to have some peace and do not worry how long, just think of the decision and go with it, and I think in the end you will be so much better.

[[Pl...]]

Looping thought i keep having:

 

  Is it the Kpin itself doing this to me or not enough of it.... I never felt good on it that's the problem...I'm not a depressive and the potency of the drug causes severe depression in me and I feel sick on it.....

 

I think Miyu had a similar experience.

 

If it wasnt for the physical injury that the ativan did things would be much more clearer and easier to proceed...I think once there's another benzo somewhere in the mix it gets complicated.... Arrrrggghhh..

 

It feels like a catch 22... I've been trying so hard....

[[Pl...]]

Okay begood and Lynn.... I just read your answers after I did my last post.... Ill have to ponder this ...I've only held a month....thank you for your replies.... They seem to be filled with so much confidence