The Long Hold Support Group

[[...]]

I'm sorry Stephen for the loss of your Mom.... I am not a seasoned ' holder', so I can't advise you from experience, but , it makes so much sense to me that cutting now would be the last thing you need.

I don't think you need to worry about being on the low dose of V for now.... You can come back to it when feel more stable in your situation and emotionally, now is not the time.

 

Take care,

MiYu

[[ho...]]

Stephan,

 

I think the advise your getting here is good advise. Going through these life crisise can realy rev up our symptoms even in a long hold.

Personally a cut now can only make things worse IMO. An updose will probably not do much good either. I think that you just have to try to find some calm place in your mind and let these events drift away for a period. Then you will be in a better frame of mind to make decisions on cutting or not.

You have come a long way and you deserve some rest right now.

 

Give it some time and try to find some process that allows you to quiet your thoughts and just be in the moment and live calm.

 

Peace & Healing

 

ATU

I needed to hear this right now. Very good advice, nicole

[[an...]]

Hi Stephen,

 

I am so sorry for your loss.  You have gotten very good advice here.  Just take care of yourself, and wait until you feel less stressed.  The time will come when you can start tapering again.  For now, just take care of yourself and do not worry about the taper.  Tapering while under so much stress can just make things worse.    Just a couple of months ago, I was in terrible shape because of a very stressful situation.  My symptoms are much less intense now, and I am feeling much better. You will too.

 

Take care,

Anne  :smitten:

[[wa...]]

Ok. Last month on the 11th I started to feel off and started my cycle on the 17th. I have typically been on a 24 day cycle aside from the odd times of getting it twice a month on these benzos.  On the 5th I felt off and recognized the feeling. Holding since the 5th. Should start this weekend. Buckling in. Learning to read the signs.

 

Warrior

[[He...]]

HELP PLEASE, JUST SAY SOMETHING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. I am absolutely miserable. Things can change so horribly JUST when you think you're doing really well.  I'm going sooo tiny in my cuts to try to avoid bad wdsx but I guess maybe I didn't hold long enough these past few cuts???

It's day 19 since my last cut and I'm holding steady at 1.12 mgV.

But I only held about 12 days from my last cut of -.02. I thought that was ok. Golly I'm cutting next to nothing!

 

But now I have horrible body aches, muscles, joints, all over me....back, legs, hips, joints, headache, neck ache, you name it... pins and needles in arms, I feel like I'm 100 years old. Slightly nauseous, but not vomiting , and I'm eating fine, thank goodness for that.

With all the different wdsx I've had in the past I've never had so much all over pain all at once. Is this just my body getting used to the lower dose?  I really messed myself up didn't I?

 

Nothing helps.... and I'm in Las Vegas! This is no fun! I'm going home tomorrow and I can't wait to go home!! 

Aside from pain, I'm scared, because I've been gradually getting worse each day for three days now. So, I'm afraid of what tomorrow will bring.And I am not drinking alcohol at all, promise! Never was a drinker even before my taper.

 

And can you believe it was only about 4 days ago that I was considering upping my cut to a larger amount! I MUST  BE  CRAZY   I guess I let my benzo brain trick me into rushing ahead into a dark place, huh?

 

LOTS OF SUPPORT NEEDED.PLEASE

 

HEATH :-[ :-[ :-[

[[Al...]]

Heath,

 

First off, let me say up front that your going to OK.

Its always amazes me how one day you feel like all is great then one wrong meal or doing too much of something and bang, we can be back in the dark place again.

Your eating well so thats good. These body aches are very normal. Hot baths in ebsom salts if ypu can and of course ibuprofen for the muscle joint pains.

 

Try to to just relax and try not focus on the pain or on the bad luck of having them come back when you least expected it.

This will pass and yes, at these low doses you have to cut small and hold long.

 

Your going to be fine!! 

 

Hugs:

 

ATU

[[St...]]

I am so sorry to hear about your mom I too have experienced some severe life stressors starting in December, one thing after another and very serious issues in my life. I'm in over a 3 month hold and I am noticing as well that my memory and cog fog have quadrupled in severity. I know in my heart is from the stress. I've never read anything about glutamate damage due to a long hold. I just know the stressors in my life, as serious as they have been and are are causing this increase in symptoms (esp  the memory and cog fog). I'm so sorry you are dealing with this right now. My condolences. Nicole

 

I'm so sorry you're suffering as well, but glad to know this might be understandable in my situation. Thanks for the kind post.

[[St...]]

Thanks everyone else (too many people to mention) for the thoughtful words. I think I'm having a hard time, given everything I've been through, distinguishing symptoms of the hold from symptoms of less stressors. There's just too much going on. It's helpful to get outside perspective that I'm not wrong that there's too much going on and that I should pause and take care of myself. My diet was impeccable prior to my mom's passing. I was completely off all processed foods for 4 months. My diet was really clean, only whole foods. I'd come back from the brink (again) and reversed awful nerve pain. I wasn't sure how to progress, but I was becoming more hopeful. And then everything went sideways again. At least through this none of the overt physical symptoms have come back. No crazy nerve pain, no muscle twitching. Just heightened anxiety.

[[He...]]

Heath,

 

First off, let me say up front that your going to OK.

Its always amazes me how one day you feel like all is great then one wrong meal or doing too much of something and bang, we can be back in the dark place again.

Your eating well so thats good. These body aches are very normal. Hot baths in ebsom salts if ypu can and of course ibuprofen for the muscle joint pains.

 

Try to to just relax and try not focus on the pain or on the bad luck of having them come back when you least expected it.

This will pass and yes, at these low doses you have to cut small and hold long.

 

Your going to be fine!! 

 

Hugs:

 

ATU

 

Thank you ATU,

Your support makes me feel so much better. You are right, I  have to remember to go slow.

Thanks for being there with your encouragement so quickly and  helping me to feel that all is not lost, and I will be ok. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

I just wish I wouldn't keep making the same mistake, rushing too fast I mean. 

 

Heath

[[fr...]]

  Stephen,  So sorry about your Mom.  Just wanted to ask you if just eating clean helped the nerve pain?  I don't eat clean as I rely on hubby to get my food so most of it is processed, fast etc.  I don't eat much and am vit. deficient.  I have horrible burning neuropathy in feet, urinary area and mouth burns also.  I have started drinking Ensure and am wondering if eating better would help.  Thanks and again, so sorry you are going through this and my symptathy is with you. 

[[Al...]]

Heath,

 

I have done the exact same thing. In times when I feel good I typically go and do way too much then pay for it for a few days or a week.

But I have learned that at these lower doses our brains are still adjusting even when we are feeling in a window our brains are adjusting and when we do too much physically or endulge too much in certain foods or activities our sxs can rush back. We just have to take smaller steps and hold until we are sure we are back to baseline.

 

One thing about these lousy sxs is that they can dissappear just as quickly as they appear and they always go away eventually. So with that knowledge we can take heart in knowing that it is temporary and we will be fine in the end.

 

Take care, find comfort around you and peace of mind.

 

Peace & Healing

 

🙏ATU

[[St...]]

  Stephen,  So sorry about your Mom.  Just wanted to ask you if just eating clean helped the nerve pain?  I don't eat clean as I rely on hubby to get my food so most of it is processed, fast etc.  I don't eat much and am vit. deficient.  I have horrible burning neuropathy in feet, urinary area and mouth burns also.  I have started drinking Ensure and am wondering if eating better would help.  Thanks and again, so sorry you are going through this and my symptathy is with you.

 

Thanks. <3

 

I feel like cleaning up my diet did help me. I fell off the wagon, but I also got better once I cleaned my diet up. Hoping to get back to there.

[[ga...]]

Hi Stephen,

 

I am so sorry for your loss.  You have gotten very good advice here.  Just take care of yourself, and wait until you feel less stressed.  The time will come when you can start tapering again.  For now, just take care of yourself and do not worry about the taper.  Tapering while under so much stress can just make things worse.    Just a couple of months ago, I was in terrible shape because of a very stressful situation.  My symptoms are much less intense now, and I am feeling much better. You will too.

 

Take care,

Anne  :smitten:

 

:smitten:

[[ga...]]

HELP PLEASE, JUST SAY SOMETHING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. I am absolutely miserable. Things can change so horribly JUST when you think you're doing really well.  I'm going sooo tiny in my cuts to try to avoid bad wdsx but I guess maybe I didn't hold long enough these past few cuts???

It's day 19 since my last cut and I'm holding steady at 1.12 mgV.

But I only held about 12 days from my last cut of -.02. I thought that was ok. Golly I'm cutting next to nothing!

 

But now I have horrible body aches, muscles, joints, all over me....back, legs, hips, joints, headache, neck ache, you name it... pins and needles in arms, I feel like I'm 100 years old. Slightly nauseous, but not vomiting , and I'm eating fine, thank goodness for that.

With all the different wdsx I've had in the past I've never had so much all over pain all at once. Is this just my body getting used to the lower dose?  I really messed myself up didn't I?

 

Nothing helps.... and I'm in Las Vegas! This is no fun! I'm going home tomorrow and I can't wait to go home!! 

Aside from pain, I'm scared, because I've been gradually getting worse each day for three days now. So, I'm afraid of what tomorrow will bring.And I am not drinking alcohol at all, promise! Never was a drinker even before my taper.

 

And can you believe it was only about 4 days ago that I was considering upping my cut to a larger amount! I MUST  BE  CRAZY   I guess I let my benzo brain trick me into rushing ahead into a dark place, huh?

 

LOTS OF SUPPORT NEEDED.PLEASE

 

HEATH :-[ :-[ :-[

 

Was the same way yesterday, Heath. Overly confident and cut too big. It caught up with me. In a total panic. Symptoms through the roof. This is the nasty game the benzos play! I think Las Vegas might be a bad place to be right now! Glad you are heading home. Think rest and time and you will get better days. 

 

Gard

[[ly...]]

HELP PLEASE, JUST SAY SOMETHING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. I am absolutely miserable. Things can change so horribly JUST when you think you're doing really well.  I'm going sooo tiny in my cuts to try to avoid bad wdsx but I guess maybe I didn't hold long enough these past few cuts???

It's day 19 since my last cut and I'm holding steady at 1.12 mgV.

But I only held about 12 days from my last cut of -.02. I thought that was ok. Golly I'm cutting next to nothing!

 

But now I have horrible body aches, muscles, joints, all over me....back, legs, hips, joints, headache, neck ache, you name it... pins and needles in arms, I feel like I'm 100 years old. Slightly nauseous, but not vomiting , and I'm eating fine, thank goodness for that.

With all the different wdsx I've had in the past I've never had so much all over pain all at once. Is this just my body getting used to the lower dose?  I really messed myself up didn't I?

 

Nothing helps.... and I'm in Las Vegas! This is no fun! I'm going home tomorrow and I can't wait to go home!! 

Aside from pain, I'm scared, because I've been gradually getting worse each day for three days now. So, I'm afraid of what tomorrow will bring.And I am not drinking alcohol at all, promise! Never was a drinker even before my taper.

 

And can you believe it was only about 4 days ago that I was considering upping my cut to a larger amount! I MUST  BE  CRAZY   I guess I let my benzo brain trick me into rushing ahead into a dark place, huh?

 

LOTS OF SUPPORT NEEDED.PLEASE

 

HEATH :-[ :-[ :-[

 

Was the same way yesterday, Heath. Overly confident and cut too big. It caught up with me. In a total panic. Symptoms through the roof. This is the nasty game the benzos play! I think Las Vegas might be a bad place to be right now! Glad you are heading home. Think rest and time and you will get better days. 

 

Gard

 

This happens.  It's the nature of the "beast" we are all dealing with.  I had a ramp up recently that I put, mainly, on stress.  It helps to recognize it as temporary and to be expected.  These episodes merely aggravate me at this point.  I'm not allowing the benzo anything more from me.

[[He...]]

Heath,

 

I have done the exact same thing. In times when I feel good I typically go and do way too much then pay for it for a few days or a week.

But I have learned that at these lower doses our brains are still adjusting even when we are feeling in a window our brains are adjusting and when we do too much physically or endulge too much in certain foods or activities our sxs can rush back. We just have to take smaller steps and hold until we are sure we are back to baseline.

 

One thing about these lousy sxs is that they can dissappear just as quickly as they appear and they always go away eventually. So with that knowledge we can take heart in knowing that it is temporary and we will be fine in the end.

 

Take care, find comfort around you and peace of mind.

 

Peace & Healing

 

🙏ATU

 

Again, you are there with  comfort and wise words. Bless you, you are an angel

 

Heath

[[He...]]

Gard,  another angel, thank you for commiserating with me. I hope both of our ramped up wdsx will subside quickly. and yes you are certainly right about Las Vegas not being the place to be when in the middle of a taper! But I had No choice. My  brother-in- law flew in from Long Island and my husband really wanted me to go with him to meet his brother there. So at least I am going home tomorrow!

 

Heath

[[He...]]

HELP PLEASE, JUST SAY SOMETHING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. I am absolutely miserable. Things can change so horribly JUST when you think you're doing really well.  I'm going sooo tiny in my cuts to try to avoid bad wdsx but I guess maybe I didn't hold long enough these past few cuts???

It's day 19 since my last cut and I'm holding steady at 1.12 mgV.

But I only held about 12 days from my last cut of -.02. I thought that was ok. Golly I'm cutting next to nothing!

 

But now I have horrible body aches, muscles, joints, all over me....back, legs, hips, joints, headache, neck ache, you name it... pins and needles in arms, I feel like I'm 100 years old. Slightly nauseous, but not vomiting , and I'm eating fine, thank goodness for that.

With all the different wdsx I've had in the past I've never had so much all over pain all at once. Is this just my body getting used to the lower dose?  I really messed myself up didn't I?

 

Nothing helps.... and I'm in Las Vegas! This is no fun! I'm going home tomorrow and I can't wait to go home!! 

Aside from pain, I'm scared, because I've been gradually getting worse each day for three days now. So, I'm afraid of what tomorrow will bring.And I am not drinking alcohol at all, promise! Never was a drinker even before my taper.

 

And can you believe it was only about 4 days ago that I was considering upping my cut to a larger amount! I MUST  BE  CRAZY   I guess I let my benzo brain trick me into rushing ahead into a dark place, huh?

 

LOTS OF SUPPORT NEEDED.PLEASE

 

HEATH :-[ :-[ :-[

 

Was the same way yesterday, Heath. Overly confident and cut too big. It caught up with me. In a total panic. Symptoms through the roof. This is the nasty game the benzos play! I think Las Vegas might be a bad place to be right now! Glad you are heading home. Think rest and time and you will get better days. 

 

Gard

 

This happens.  It's the nature of the "beast" we are all dealing with.  I had a ramp up recently that I put, mainly, on stress.  It helps to recognize it as temporary and to be expected.  These episodes merely aggravate me at this point.  I'm not allowing the benzo anything more from me.

 

Thanks Lynne,

I guess good stress is just as damaging to our fragile brains as bad stress is when we are tapering, because at the time i was leaving for vegas, I was feeling great!i guess just the excitement of it all is what got to me. I hope o have a turn around real soon.

Heath

[[fr...]]

  Heath and Gard  I hope you both feel much better tomorrow. 

[[St...]]

Thinking of all you guys....I'm right there with you, but today is a wee bit better, haven't had a seizure like sxs today, just lots of wave and shakes etc.  not fun.  but want you all to know I am praying for you and sending hugs and good wishes.  I am now on day 12 of my 2 mg updose, hoping it is starting to take affect.  Stella Bee

 

[[Va...]]

Thinking of all you guys....I'm right there with you, but today is a wee bit better, haven't had a seizure like sxs today, just lots of wave and shakes etc.  not fun.  but want you all to know I am praying for you and sending hugs and good wishes.  I am now on day 12 of my 2 mg updose, hoping it is starting to take affect.  Stella Bee

Glad things are improving slightly Stella. Hopefully everything will calm down soon.  --V

[[Va...]]

I'm sorry so many are struggling right now. It's been hard for me to keep up with the thread lol. I just want to report that I am doing fantastic right now. I feel close to 100% normal and am spending a lot of time working and trying to stay busy and out of the house. I'm not bragging or trying to make anyone feel bad. I just want to let everyone know there is hope. I was in terrible shape last year and even though I've been doing ok with my taper since I started up again in August, I've still struggled with motivation, fatigue and clear thinking. This past week has seen a turning point in those sxs as well. I have energy, clear thinking, motivation, etc.  I don't even feel like I'm in withdrawal anymore. I attribute the way I'm feeling to the long hold and the slow symptom based taper. I feel better and better the more I reduce. That's not to say I won't hit some rough spots going forward but I've learned that listening to your body is the way off of these drugs with the least disruption to your life. Whenever I've gotten impatient and tried to speed up the taper, I've suffered.

 

Thinking of you all and have truly felt your pain. I hope everyone finds the path that allows minimal discomfort.  --V

[[ly...]]

I'm sorry so many are struggling right now. It's been hard for me to keep up with the thread lol. I just want to report that I am doing fantastic right now. I feel close to 100% normal and am spending a lot of time working and trying to stay busy and out of the house. I'm not bragging or trying to make anyone feel bad. I just want to let everyone know there is hope. I was in terrible shape last year and even though I've been doing ok with my taper since I started up again in August, I've still struggled with motivation, fatigue and clear thinking. This past week has seen a turning point in those sxs as well. I have energy, clear thinking, motivation, etc.  I don't even feel like I'm in withdrawal anymore. I attribute the way I'm feeling to the long hold and the slow symptom based taper. I feel better and better the more I reduce. That's not to say I won't hit some rough spots going forward but I've learned that listening to your body is the way off of these drugs with the least disruption to your life. Whenever I've gotten impatient and tried to speed up the taper, I've suffered.

 

Thinking of you all and have truly felt your pain. I hope everyone finds the path that allows minimal discomfort.  --V

 

Great news V! :thumbsup:

[[be...]]

Valley, [glow=red,2,300]"Fantastic News"[/glow] so very happy for you, and I certainly do not think anyone will feel bad about your wonderful news, we know you have had your struggles, and yes you have had the need to rush at times, but you found out that it does not work, just sets you back. I believe that if we take our time and listen to our symptoms it will not forsake us, it is hard, But the key to this way of tapering and getting to our goal, is indeed to have holds till we can continue, and the biggie, we must "Accept the Process of Healing" and  "Time and Patience" is key. I am just over the moon for you :smitten:

[[He...]]

Wow! valley! That  really is great news! Good for you!

  :yippee: :yippee: :clap: :clap: :yippee: :yippee: :clap:

Heath