The Long Hold Support Group

[[Va...]]

I was wide awake last night too. Not one minute of sleep. Then dragged myself to work at 8am. Very nauseated today too.

 

Day 96 of the long hold. Still crappy most of the time. Disappointed, but will continue the hold.

 

Hope you guys are hanging in there.

Hi SS. Have you felt any improvement at all?  --V

[[Va...]]

Heath no need to be sorry about worrying us Warriors, the thing is, that sometimes it is good to have some doubts, because then we try to find a solution and it is a win- win for all of us needing to check one more time. The problem would be if we just could not trust our thinking and get deeper in thinking that we are doing it wrong, but the nice thing we all assess and then go with the flow. And a side note; we found out about Valley and his stash of "Vodkee" in the Chicken Coup, always wondered why he would sit out there with all those chickens all over him, now I know and so does everyone on BB...... :laugh:

That reminds me. I need to go check on the chickens again. 

[[be...]]

Heath no need to be sorry about worrying us Warriors, the thing is, that sometimes it is good to have some doubts, because then we try to find a solution and it is a win- win for all of us needing to check one more time. The problem would be if we just could not trust our thinking and get deeper in thinking that we are doing it wrong, but the nice thing we all assess and then go with the flow. And a side note; we found out about Valley and his stash of "Vodkee" in the Chicken Coup, always wondered why he would sit out there with all those chickens all over him, now I know and so does everyone on BB...... :laugh:

That reminds me. I need to go check on the chickens again. 

Yep hope you can find it......the coup that is.... :D

[[ly...]]

 

 

Hi SS,

 

I hope you start feeling better very soon. 

[[ga...]]

Hello everyone,

Well, what I have learned from all this is.....As long as a person uses the same syringes consistently it really doesn't matter what the syringe is reading. One syringe might read 2.1 mg and another might read 2.3 mg even with the same amount of liquid.  The fact is that it's still the same amount in the syringe no matter what the measurement reads. You are still getting the same dose.

( A red blouse in two different boxes, is still the same red blouse. Get it?) ( sorry, I'm a kindergarten teacher  )

 

If you change the type of your syringes ONCE, just try to get as close to your previous dose. Maybe you will be off a bit but if you stay with the new measuring syringes that you just changed to, and keep that consistent, you will get back to a good steady taper once more.

 

The important thing is, don't switch to to different measuring syringe(s)until you are sure you want to

stay with it/them.  And then stay with it!

 

If you keep changing back and forth with your syringes,...that is what will get you into difficulty.

 

I hope that clears things up some more. I'm glad I brought this up because all of you have really helped me to understand.  But sorry that it has seemed to have worried some of us warriors.  Just trying to help.

 

Heath

 

I agree, Heath. I never checked, but I've always just ordered the same brand syringe for each size because I'm a creature of habit. I guess it will be wise to continue doing that. I also use a very dilute solution so the slight variations in measurements don't matter as much.

 

Gard

[[ga...]]

I was wide awake last night too. Not one minute of sleep. Then dragged myself to work at 8am. Very nauseated today too.

 

Day 96 of the long hold. Still crappy most of the time. Disappointed, but will continue the hold.

 

Hope you guys are hanging in there.

 

Wishing you better days soon, solitude.

[[ga...]]

Heath no need to be sorry about worrying us Warriors, the thing is, that sometimes it is good to have some doubts, because then we try to find a solution and it is a win- win for all of us needing to check one more time. The problem would be if we just could not trust our thinking and get deeper in thinking that we are doing it wrong, but the nice thing we all assess and then go with the flow. And a side note; we found out about Valley and his stash of "Vodkee" in the Chicken Coup, always wondered why he would sit out there with all those chickens all over him, now I know and so does everyone on BB...... :laugh:

That reminds me. I need to go check on the chickens again. 

Yep hope you can find it......the coup that is.... :D

 

:idiot:

Our fearless leaders have gone to the birds!

[[an...]]

Hello everyone,

Well, what I have learned from all this is.....As long as a person uses the same syringes consistently it really doesn't matter what the syringe is reading. One syringe might read 2.1 mg and another might read 2.3 mg even with the same amount of liquid.  The fact is that it's still the same amount in the syringe no matter what the measurement reads. You are still getting the same dose.

( A red blouse in two different boxes, is still the same red blouse. Get it?) ( sorry, I'm a kindergarten teacher  )

 

If you change the type of your syringes ONCE, just try to get as close to your previous dose. Maybe you will be off a bit but if you stay with the new measuring syringes that you just changed to, and keep that consistent, you will get back to a good steady taper once more.

 

The important thing is, don't switch to to different measuring syringe(s)until you are sure you want to

stay with it/them.  And then stay with it!

 

If you keep changing back and forth with your syringes,...that is what will get you into difficulty.

 

I hope that clears things up some more. I'm glad I brought this up because all of you have really helped me to understand.  But sorry that it has seemed to have worried some of us warriors.  Just trying to help.

 

Heath

 

I agree, Heath. I never checked, but I've always just ordered the same brand syringe for each size because I'm a creature of habit. I guess it will be wise to continue doing that. I also use a very dilute solution so the slight variations in measurements don't matter as much.

 

Gard

 

Hi Gard,

 

The more dilute the solution, the less the measurement error will affect you.  If the solution is more concentrated, then the error is magnified as well as the effect on you.

 

Using the same brand syringes is a good idea.  Again, there will always be discrepancies between measuring devices. Using the same brand should eliminate any large errors.

 

Hope everyone is doing well today.

 

Anne 

[[an...]]

Hi Solitude,

 

Hang in there. It should get better the longer you hold.

 

Anne 

[[He...]]

I am so sorry that you are still struggling..and having to go to work after not sleeping too. You really are a warrior!

These benzos are sure to challenge us every inch if the way!

96 days into your hold is a little over 3 months, right?  It's a long time I know, but sometimes it takes that long time to start to see those wdsx start to subside and see windows open up. I remember V saying it took 6 months, and I know it took me over four months to start to feel "normal?" again.

 

So hang in there SS. You can do it..one day at a time. Just think of the rewards you will reap  when that turn around happens. And it WILL HAPPEN when you least expect it!

We are all here for you!

I wish you peace and healing and better days really soon.

 

Heath

[[He...]]

Oh, by the way, SS,

do you have anything at all to help you sleep? Not on a nightly basis, but once in a while when insomnia is so bad for 2 or 3 nights in a row?

 

My doc says I have to sleep 😴 in order for my CNS to heal. So I take 3.75 mg remeron about once every 7 or 10 days, only when I have had less then 5 hours of sleep for two or three nights in a row. (don't want to get addicted to it.)Thank goodness my insomnia is not as bad as others I have heard about.

 

I know many people don't believe in taking anything for insomnia, but just thought I'd put it out there.

I hope you get good sleep tonight!

 

Heath

[[ga...]]

Hello everyone,

Well, what I have learned from all this is.....As long as a person uses the same syringes consistently it really doesn't matter what the syringe is reading. One syringe might read 2.1 mg and another might read 2.3 mg even with the same amount of liquid.  The fact is that it's still the same amount in the syringe no matter what the measurement reads. You are still getting the same dose.

( A red blouse in two different boxes, is still the same red blouse. Get it?) ( sorry, I'm a kindergarten teacher  )

 

If you change the type of your syringes ONCE, just try to get as close to your previous dose. Maybe you will be off a bit but if you stay with the new measuring syringes that you just changed to, and keep that consistent, you will get back to a good steady taper once more.

 

The important thing is, don't switch to to different measuring syringe(s)until you are sure you want to

stay with it/them.  And then stay with it!

 

If you keep changing back and forth with your syringes,...that is what will get you into difficulty.

 

I hope that clears things up some more. I'm glad I brought this up because all of you have really helped me to understand.  But sorry that it has seemed to have worried some of us warriors.  Just trying to help.

 

Heath

 

I agree, Heath. I never checked, but I've always just ordered the same brand syringe for each size because I'm a creature of habit. I guess it will be wise to continue doing that. I also use a very dilute solution so the slight variations in measurements don't matter as much.

 

Gard

 

Hi Gard,

 

The more dilute the solution, the less the measurement error will affect you.  If the solution is more concentrated, then the error is magnified as well as the effect on you.

 

Using the same brand syringes is a good idea.  Again, there will always be discrepancies between measuring devices. Using the same brand should eliminate any large errors.

 

Hope everyone is doing well today.

 

Anne 

 

Thanks for the reassurance, Anne, and I have been planning to answer your message! Or did I already? Yes. No. Maybe. Fried brain this week!

[[Sh...]]

I seem to be going up and down quite a bit. Monday I felt quite shit. Yesterday I felt good but then crashed at night. And today I feel really, really good. This is bizarre. The nature of benzo healing hey.

[[Va...]]

I seem to be going up and down quite a bit. Monday I felt quite shit. Yesterday I felt good but then crashed at night. And today I feel really, really good. This is bizarre. The nature of benzo healing hey.

It sounds like you're definitely healing. 

[[ho...]]

I seem to be going up and down quite a bit. Monday I felt quite shit. Yesterday I felt good but then crashed at night. And today I feel really, really good. This is bizarre. The nature of benzo healing hey.

hi shamo read your signature, what kind of liquid did you use that failed? Thank you nicole

[[ho...]]

Hello everyone,

Well, what I have learned from all this is.....As long as a person uses the same syringes consistently it really doesn't matter what the syringe is reading. One syringe might read 2.1 mg and another might read 2.3 mg even with the same amount of liquid.  The fact is that it's still the same amount in the syringe no matter what the measurement reads. You are still getting the same dose.

( A red blouse in two different boxes, is still the same red blouse. Get it?) ( sorry, I'm a kindergarten teacher  )

 

If you change the type of your syringes ONCE, just try to get as close to your previous dose. Maybe you will be off a bit but if you stay with the new measuring syringes that you just changed to, and keep that consistent, you will get back to a good steady taper once more.

 

The important thing is, don't switch to to different measuring syringe(s)until you are sure you want to

stay with it/them.  And then stay with it!

 

If you keep changing back and forth with your syringes,...that is what will get you into difficulty.

 

I hope that clears things up some more. I'm glad I brought this up because all of you have really helped me to understand.  But sorry that it has seemed to have worried some of us warriors.  Just trying to help.

 

Heath

 

I agree, Heath. I never checked, but I've always just ordered the same brand syringe for each size because I'm a creature of habit. I guess it will be wise to continue doing that. I also use a very dilute solution so the slight variations in measurements don't matter as much.

 

Gard

 

Hi Gard,

 

The more dilute the solution, the less the measurement error will affect you.  If the solution is more concentrated, then the error is magnified as well as the effect on you.

 

Using the same brand syringes is a good idea.  Again, there will always be discrepancies between measuring devices. Using the same brand should eliminate any large errors.

 

Hope everyone is doing well today.

 

Anne 

hi Anne me again, sorry, I was looking at all the syringes I bought and I have bd catheter tip 60 mls and the others one is monoject brand 10 ml and the 1 ml is the brand tuberculin, I'm not sure if you're familiar with those brands? Also the 10 ml and 1 ml are " luer slip tip" I know there is another kind of tip, can't remember at the moment. Should I have gotten the luer slip tip? Can you recommend a brand? I have not switched to liquid yet. Considering reordering all my syringes  thank you nicole

[[ho...]]

Heath no need to be sorry about worrying us Warriors, the thing is, that sometimes it is good to have some doubts, because then we try to find a solution and it is a win- win for all of us needing to check one more time. The problem would be if we just could not trust our thinking and get deeper in thinking that we are doing it wrong, but the nice thing we all assess and then go with the flow. And a side note; we found out about Valley and his stash of "Vodkee" in the Chicken Coup, always wondered why he would sit out there with all those chickens all over him, now I know and so does everyone on BB...... :laugh:

That reminds me. I need to go check on the chickens again. 

Yep hope you can find it......the coup that is.... :D

 

:idiot:

Our fearless leaders have gone to the birds!

hi gard I'm not sure what liquid you're using but i saw you said more diluted a solution the better, I'm starting with 1 mg 200 mls milk. Do you think that's diluted enough? Thank you for insight nicole

[[Sh...]]

Hey there...I ended up staying on the liquid but I stopped doing the daily taper. It sent me haywire but admittedly I was tapering too quickly. I wonder if the liquid had something to do with it as well. I used a little bit of Vodka and the rest water. It worked out fine in the end and when I drank my dose I just mixed a bit of cordial in.

[[ho...]]

Hey there...I ended up staying on the liquid but I stopped doing the daily taper. It sent me haywire but admittedly I was tapering too quickly. I wonder if the liquid had something to do with it as well. I used a little bit of Vodka and the rest water. It worked out fine in the end and when I drank my dose I just mixed a bit of cordial in.

oh ok so you stayed liquid all the way down? So if you didn't do it daily, how did you do it? I'm recovering from massive cuts at the moment and am going with a milk titration when I start again. I have heard the alcohol doesn't agree with some. I'd probably be one. And yes pace matters, I'm going super slow after my genius cuts.

[[Sh...]]

Yeah I did...It's only a minuscule amount of alcohol in the scheme of things but you know you're body better than anyone so best to go with your instincts. I stopped the daily and just did cut n hold but with the liquid as my dose. So I'd take the same amount each day for 2-3 weeks and then make a cut and sit on that dose for 2-3 weeks etc etc...

[[ho...]]

Yeah I did...It's only a minuscule amount of alcohol in the scheme of things but you know you're body better than anyone so best to go with your instincts. I stopped the daily and just did cut n hold but with the liquid as my dose. So I'd take the same amount each day for 2-3 weeks and then make a cut and sit on that dose for 2-3 weeks etc etc...

I'm only going to be removing .002 Mgs a day but going to be dry and liquid. Glad you're free from the poison!! 

[[ga...]]

Hope, I use excel 60ml catheter tip and monojet 10ml oral syringes. Right now I am using the large syringe to pull amounts over 10ml and the smaller syringe to pull amounts under 10ml. You know how to get the air bubbles out and that the amount in the tip is not part of the measurement, right?

 

Gard

[[so...]]

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. To answer V's question, I'm really not feeling much better. Continue with the headaches and the nausea, which comes and goes. Sleep is generally crummy, with some abysmal nights thrown in. Overall very tired and zombied, with lots of spacy headed cog-fog. But I do get window moments now and then, not great, but okay times when I'm not so miserable.

 

Update:my cancer may be recurring. The tumor marker we track in my blood work is rising. We test again in two weeks to see if it's still going up.

 

Probably no more tapering for me. I just want to stabilize and be able to do some enjoyable things. For those of you who ever updose, what was your experience? I'm wondering if this will help me. But I have heard that updosing doesn't always help, and some folks felt worse. So I'm afraid of making things worse for myself.

 

I take sleep aids very infrequently, as I want my brain to work properly on its own. When I do take a sleep aid it often just makes things weird but doesn't necessarily help the sleep. And it adds to the zombie feeling the next morning. But perhaps that won't matter as much if the cancer really is back, since I would stop working.

 

Thanks guys. 

[[be...]]

Solitude, I am sorry you are having to go through so much, life is not always fair, but I will pray that the test will be better.

 

I have went from 0 to 5mg and it took a week or so, and I did fine, and once I went from 0 back to 10mg without any problems, the thing is if you decide to do it, you need to try to remember when the dosage was not causing any problems, you felt stable on it, if you only go up a mite, it is not going to do much but make you more miserable. all out is the only way I was able to stabilize. And with all you are going through right now, I like you think you need and deserve some peace.

[[no...]]

Yeah I did...It's only a minuscule amount of alcohol in the scheme of things but you know you're body better than anyone so best to go with your instincts. I stopped the daily and just did cut n hold but with the liquid as my dose. So I'd take the same amount each day for 2-3 weeks and then make a cut and sit on that dose for 2-3 weeks etc etc...

That's a good idea Shamo I was eternally worried doing dry cut an hold that the doses weren't even when I was weighing them, it never occurred to me to use the liquid  then at least the dose would be precise .

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten: