The Long Hold Support Group

[[ga...]]

Good morning, thread. I hope everyone is getting through the day OK. Woke up to a beautiful white world here. Snow is especially wonderful when you don't have to drive in it.

 

My symptoms are perhaps a bit better, but I am going to hold the whole week. I am determined to get through this taper while being the mom my kids need. I think it can be done if I proceed with extreme caution and more patience than I actually have.

 

Gard

[[an...]]

 

 

Oh man!  I'm all confused again!  I think I messed that up V.  I'll be going down .001mg per day.  So my liquid that I drink will start at 9.4ml (my current dose of .094mg) and drop to 9.3, 9.2, 9.1 etc.  So .1ml drop per day.  One ml every 10 days, 3 every 30 days.  Man I need to go to bed too!

 

Hi Lynn,

 

You are correct.  I see you are using 1 mg tablets.  1 mg/100 mL = 0.01 mg/mL.  You have 0.01 mg drug in each mL of liquid.  0.094 mg/0.01 mg/mL = 9.4 mL.  You drink 9.4 mL/day to get your 0.094 mg dose. 

 

0.01 mg/mL * 0.1 mL = 0.001 mg.  You will decrease the total amount by 0.1 mL a day.  Over a 10 day period, this is 1 mL--over a 30 day period this is 3 mL.  You decrease by 3 mL a month.

 

3 mL * 0.01 mg/mL = 0.03 mg  You will have decreased by 0.03 mg in one month.  This is 0.03 mg/0.094 mg * 100 = 32%.  This is a 32% reduction over one month's time.  Is that too much?  What percentage per month would you like to decrease?  This can be adjusted so that you decrease by a lower percentage per month. Just let me know and I will help.

 

Hope this helps,

Anne

[[an...]]

Good morning, thread. I hope everyone is getting through the day OK. Woke up to a beautiful white world here. Snow is especially wonderful when you don't have to drive in it.

 

My symptoms are perhaps a bit better, but I am going to hold the whole week. I am determined to get through this taper while being the mom my kids need. I think it can be done if I proceed with extreme caution and more patience than I actually have.

 

Gard

 

Good Morning Gardner,

 

So happy to hear you are feeling a bit better.  I think the hold is a great idea.

 

Enjoy the day.

 

((HUGS))

Anne 

[[Va...]]

Good morning, thread. I hope everyone is getting through the day OK. Woke up to a beautiful white world here. Snow is especially wonderful when you don't have to drive in it.

 

My symptoms are perhaps a bit better, but I am going to hold the whole week. I am determined to get through this taper while being the mom my kids need. I think it can be done if I proceed with extreme caution and more patience than I actually have.

 

Gard

Hi gard. I got your white world (blizzard here lol) this morning also.

 

I'm going to hold for a full 10 days or more from my last cuts. I pushed it too hard and started to get hit. The problem is balancing the feeling better in many ways with the withdrawal sxs. I certainly have more energy but the cognitive area declines and the anxiety ramps up when I push too hard. Your last statement rings so true.  --V

[[ly...]]

 

 

Thank you Anne!

 

I'm going to try the 30% per month and see how it goes.  My last cut was 25%.  They've been going up as I've kept the same cut of .03mg every 30 days since last summer.  So far it hasn't been too bad.  Since I am now going to liquid it will be fairly easy to adjust this down if things start going south.

 

How are you doing?

[[an...]]

 

 

Thank you Anne!

 

I'm going to try the 30% per month and see how it goes.  My last cut was 25%.  They've been going up as I've kept the same cut of .03mg every 30 days since last summer.  So far it hasn't been too bad.  Since I am now going to liquid it will be fairly easy to adjust this down if things start going south.

 

How are you doing?

 

Sounds good Lynn.  I remember during my first taper, I cut no more than 20% a month.  It worked well for me all the way down to 0.01 mg.  I only experienced symptoms if I cut more than 20%.  It is great that you are able to taper at a higher rate.  The nice thing about the liquid is having the option of being able to adjust up or down, by minuscule amounts, any time. 

 

I am doing better than I was, thank you for asking.  It will take some time to stabilize (regardless of the up dose) after all of the stress, but I do see some improvements.  I hope to resume my taper in a few weeks.     

 

Enjoy your day!!

 

Anne 

[[be...]]

Hey Anne, great to see you on today, missed you a lot. Things will get better, stress is hard, and so far I have not found the magic potion to make it better, we just do what we can when we can.

 

You once said that you had a remedy for the taste of the water, I am at 100cc for now of my Valium/Vodka potion, and the only thing is the taste, icky, but I know I can not add any more to the solution, any tidbits of advice will be welcomed.

[[ly...]]

 

 

Anne,

 

I am so glad that you are starting to feel better

[[an...]]

Hey Anne, great to see you on today, missed you a lot. Things will get better, stress is hard, and so far I have not found the magic potion to make it better, we just do what we can when we can.

 

You once said that you had a remedy for the taste of the water, I am at 100cc for now of my Valium/Vodka potion, and the only thing is the taste, icky, but I know I can not add any more to the solution, any tidbits of advice will be welcomed.

 

Hi Begood,

 

Thank you.  I missed all of you too.  It is amazing what stress can do to you.  I feel so much better now.  Let me know if you do find that magic potion though. 

 

Begood, I have never had a problem with the taste of the liquid. I am sorry, but I think someone else might have indicated a remedy?  Maybe you could add a bit of juice for part of the water?  Some cranberry or apple juice?  I think that should work pretty well. You would only need a few mL  of juice. 

 

So, if I were using 100 mL of liquid, I would put my tablet into 2 mL of vodka or PG.  Then add about 48 mL of juice and then 50 mL of water. 

 

Let me know what you think.

 

Enjoy the rest of the day!!

 

Anne xoxox 

[[be...]]

Thanks Anne, I think I can suck it up and drink it, forgot that I have to be careful with juices because of my Diabetes, and honestly, it isn't that bad, but when I get to the smaller amt of water, I may have to reconsider. Thanks again.

[[Va...]]

 

 

Oh man!  I'm all confused again!  I think I messed that up V.  I'll be going down .001mg per day.  So my liquid that I drink will start at 9.4ml (my current dose of .094mg) and drop to 9.3, 9.2, 9.1 etc.  So .1ml drop per day.  One ml every 10 days, 3 every 30 days.  Man I need to go to bed too!

 

Hi Lynn,

 

You are correct.  I see you are using 1 mg tablets.  1 mg/100 mL = 0.01 mg/mL.  You have 0.01 mg drug in each mL of liquid.  0.094 mg/0.01 mg/mL = 9.4 mL.  You drink 9.4 mL/day to get your 0.094 mg dose. 

 

0.01 mg/mL * 0.1 mL = 0.001 mg.  You will decrease the total amount by 0.1 mL a day.  Over a 10 day period, this is 1 mL--over a 30 day period this is 3 mL.  You decrease by 3 mL a month.

 

3 mL * 0.01 mg/mL = 0.03 mg  You will have decreased by 0.03 mg in one month.  This is 0.03 mg/0.094 mg * 100 = 32%.  This is a 32% reduction over one month's time.  Is that too much?  What percentage per month would you like to decrease?  This can be adjusted so that you decrease by a lower percentage per month. Just let me know and I will help.

 

Hope this helps,

Anne

Hooray! Anne is back to save us from ourselves and poor math skills lol. So glad everything is calming down for you and you're feeling a little better.  --V

[[Va...]]

Thanks Anne, I think I can suck it up and drink it, forgot that I have to be careful with juices because of my Diabetes, and honestly, it isn't that bad, but when I get to the smaller amt of water, I may have to reconsider. Thanks again.

I have to suck it up too BG. I gag every night at 3:00 in the morning when I dose. I'm using PG and only diluting to 10ml solution per 1mg of V so it's pretty concentrated lol.  --V

[[be...]]

Thanks Anne, I think I can suck it up and drink it, forgot that I have to be careful with juices because of my Diabetes, and honestly, it isn't that bad, but when I get to the smaller amt of water, I may have to reconsider. Thanks again.

I have to suck it up too BG. I gag every night at 3:00 in the morning when I dose. I'm using PG and only diluting to 10ml solution per 1mg of V so it's pretty concentrated lol.  --V

Yes, it is what it is, so do you put the dose in water then?.

[[Va...]]

Thanks Anne, I think I can suck it up and drink it, forgot that I have to be careful with juices because of my Diabetes, and honestly, it isn't that bad, but when I get to the smaller amt of water, I may have to reconsider. Thanks again.

I have to suck it up too BG. I gag every night at 3:00 in the morning when I dose. I'm using PG and only diluting to 10ml solution per 1mg of V so it's pretty concentrated lol.  --V

Yes, it is what it is, so do you put the dose in water then?.

Yes. I dissolve 8mg in 20ml PG and 60ml of water. I am using both solution and dry pills so at least I don't have to take my whole dose in liquid.  --V

[[be...]]

Thanks Anne, I think I can suck it up and drink it, forgot that I have to be careful with juices because of my Diabetes, and honestly, it isn't that bad, but when I get to the smaller amt of water, I may have to reconsider. Thanks again.

I have to suck it up too BG. I gag every night at 3:00 in the morning when I dose. I'm using PG and only diluting to 10ml solution per 1mg of V so it's pretty concentrated lol.  --V

Yes, it is what it is, so do you put the dose in water then?.

Yes. I dissolve 8mg in 20ml PG and 60ml of water. I am using both solution and dry pills so at least I don't have to take my whole dose in liquid.  --V

I see more numbers lol, thankfully we have a way to take the dosage without cutting up pills forever.

[[de...]]

hey everyone,

 

i guess you older members who knew me think i fell off the earth...well i feel like i have..i dont read much of anything anymore and try to stay away from groups so i dont get any worse from reading..

 

I have been in a wheelchair since july 4th..and i have been holding now since last april an i am not stabalizing i need some input..

 

i am up to 115lbs from 97 but its been a long road and i am just so tired..i am weak and have no energy and as for the eyes i dont drive anymore...terrie helps me get a shower and dress and she does everything around here as i am no longer able too.

 

I need your input i go to my doc on thursday and we had agreed that something has to change cause things are just not getting better..and i told him if i could go back to my 4mgs of k that i had been on for 30 something yrs and stabalize and then i would try again even if it took me 10 yrs..

 

my question is cause he listens to my suggestions and what i want to do..being at 2.75mgs now.. you all know i got to 1.75 but then had to updose twice..but now with the long hold i dont see it getting any better..

 

can i go back to 4mgs at one time to try and see if i can pull out of this? or is that something you do slowly also?

and what are the chances that it will back fire on me cause just staying here is not helping and i take no other meds. he doesnt want me to drop any lower cause my body is just shutting down from it.and he wanted me to wait until after the holidays so i at least might not get any worse...and i have had all kinds of tests run and they find nothing. also switching to v is not an option.

 

i will check back tomorrow and also on thursday morning to see if i can get any help from here on what to do..or any suggestions..just please dont tell me to keep holding cause i am just not getting any better and it will be a yr soon..

 

i miss all of you and have thought of you all often but reading things to do with this makes me worse and the eyes dont work well enough to do alot of reading.

 

hugs to all of you

 

 

deep

[[He...]]

Well, now I have the foot cramps too.

 

I can not believe it.  Although I have had them before, they were nothing more than a periodic bother. But today they were horrible.

 

And today I had cramps in both feet at the same time. I couldn't walk. And the cramps persisted for a good ten minutes. That may seem not very long, but when you are experiencing cramps and spasms, that is a long time. I know some of you have mentioned having cramping all day. I don't know how you can go through that!

 

I put moist heating pads under my feet and massaged them. That helped.

But then I remembered that i had liquid magnesuim oil for rubbing into muscles.

I just rubbed it on my calves, feet, and arms and neck and pressure points behind my shoulders.

I had previously forgotten about the liquid magnesium oil that I had used a while ago for calf spasms.

 

Ths spasms did stop while I was rubbing the magnesium into my feet. Don't know if it's a coincidence or not, but I'm going to keep up with the liquid magnesium oil because it can't hurt.

 

I'll keep you posted!

 

By the way, liquid magnesium oil is what I use because it is absorbed through the skin. My stomach does not like magnesium pills. I normally don't take any magnesium supplement because of that. But maybe my muscle cramps could be from a magnesuim deficiency. Who knows!

 

I'll keep you posted

 

Heath 

[[...]]

HI everyone,

Been very up and down this last week or so, some rough days and some better ones , nothing to shout about and feeling very frustrated that I can't move on with my taper still. I may just go ahead soon and do some small cuts to see how i do. I've tried a couple of times and just end up with such horrible symptoms with the teeny tiniest reduction. I don't get it, I'll be on this stuff forever if I can only taper 1/30th of 1/4 mg and get bad WDs from that! That's just crazy   

 

I also  feel so yucky every time I take the V . I always feel worse and my symptoms increase , especially the burning and stomach issues which are getting worse .

 

I have to go to the dentist tomorrow and am dreading it... Has to be done though.

 

Deep , just read your post, I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time ... I don't really know your history , but I feel for you and am sorry you are struggling so much.

 

Thanks for the reminder Begood that we do all heal eventually, whatever route we take.

 

Sending love and hugs to you all.

MiYu 

[[Va...]]

hey everyone,

 

i guess you older members who knew me think i fell off the earth...well i feel like i have..i dont read much of anything anymore and try to stay away from groups so i dont get any worse from reading..

 

I have been in a wheelchair since july 4th..and i have been holding now since last april an i am not stabalizing i need some input..

 

i am up to 115lbs from 97 but its been a long road and i am just so tired..i am weak and have no energy and as for the eyes i dont drive anymore...terrie helps me get a shower and dress and she does everything around here as i am no longer able too.

 

I need your input i go to my doc on thursday and we had agreed that something has to change cause things are just not getting better..and i told him if i could go back to my 4mgs of k that i had been on for 30 something yrs and stabalize and then i would try again even if it took me 10 yrs..

 

my question is cause he listens to my suggestions and what i want to do..being at 2.75mgs now.. you all know i got to 1.75 but then had to updose twice..but now with the long hold i dont see it getting any better..

 

can i go back to 4mgs at one time to try and see if i can pull out of this? or is that something you do slowly also?

and what are the chances that it will back fire on me cause just staying here is not helping and i take no other meds. he doesnt want me to drop any lower cause my body is just shutting down from it.and he wanted me to wait until after the holidays so i at least might not get any worse...and i have had all kinds of tests run and they find nothing. also switching to v is not an option.

 

i will check back tomorrow and also on thursday morning to see if i can get any help from here on what to do..or any suggestions..just please dont tell me to keep holding cause i am just not getting any better and it will be a yr soon..

 

i miss all of you and have thought of you all often but reading things to do with this makes me worse and the eyes dont work well enough to do alot of reading.

 

hugs to all of you

 

 

deep

Hi deep!  It's so good to hear from you! I have wondered what happened to you and I am glad you are finally getting a plan in place and that your weight has gone up.

 

Concerning the dose correction, it's probably best to listen to your body just as in a taper. My experience has been to feel worse initially so if you feel an increase in sxs it's just your body readjusting again. I do know the BAT philosophy is to updose high enough to stop sxs so you may need to go to 4mg to get stable. Whether to do it all at once is anyone's guess. You may just want to jump up to 4mg and reevaluate in a week.

 

I'm so sorry you're wheelchair bound and hope things turn around for you soon. Anecdotally, from reading many posts regarding K, it seems K is the least responsive to holding for long periods of time. I'm not sure why but can only guess it's the unique properties of K involving serotonin. I believe it's the only benzo to directly effect serotonin.

 

We've missed you! Hope to see you here when you feel up to it.  --V

[[Va...]]

Well, now I have the foot cramps too.

 

I can not believe it.  Although I have had them before, they were nothing more than a periodic bother. But today they were horrible.

 

And today I had cramps in both feet at the same time. I couldn't walk. And the cramps persisted for a good ten minutes. That may seem not very long, but when you are experiencing cramps and spasms, that is a long time. I know some of you have mentioned having cramping all day. I don't know how you can go through that!

 

I put moist heating pads under my feet and massaged them. That helped.

But then I remembered that i had liquid magnesuim oil for rubbing into muscles.

I just rubbed it on my calves, feet, and arms and neck and pressure points behind my shoulders.

I had previously forgotten about the liquid magnesium oil that I had used a while ago for calf spasms.

 

Ths spasms did stop while I was rubbing the magnesium into my feet. Don't know if it's a coincidence or not, but I'm going to keep up with the liquid magnesium oil because it can't hurt.

 

I'll keep you posted!

 

By the way, liquid magnesium oil is what I use because it is absorbed through the skin. My stomach does not like magnesium pills. I normally don't take any magnesium supplement because of that. But maybe my muscle cramps could be from a magnesuim deficiency. Who knows!

 

I'll keep you posted

 

Heath 

Good luck with the feet cramps Heath.  It's one of my most persistent issues. I know what you mean when you say you can't walk. I feel like that some days. If you find a remedy that works, let me know.  --V

[[Va...]]

HI everyone,

Been very up and down this last week or so, some rough days and some better ones , nothing to shout about and feeling very frustrated that I can't move on with my taper still. I may just go ahead soon and do some small cuts to see how i do. I've tried a couple of times and just end up with such horrible symptoms with the teeny tiniest reduction. I don't get it, I'll be on this stuff forever if I can only taper 1/30th of 1/4 mg and get bad WDs from that! That's just crazy   

 

I also  feel so yucky every time I take the V . I always feel worse and my symptoms increase , especially the burning and stomach issues which are getting worse .

 

I have to go to the dentist tomorrow and am dreading it... Has to be done though.

 

Deep , just read your post, I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time ... I don't really know your history , but I feel for you and am sorry you are struggling so much.

 

Thanks for the reminder Begood that we do all heal eventually, whatever route we take.

 

Sending love and hugs to you all.

MiYu 

Hi MiYu. It sounds like you're going through the waxing and waning of sxs. Are you having any better days or noticing a change in the intensity of your sxs?  I know when I held the changes were so gradual and subtle that I didn't realise I was improving until I slowly began to realise I felt much better. Don't worry about the time it takes to get off. The goal is getting off while remaining functional and being healed when you complete the taper.

 

Good luck at the dentist. I'm guessing you'll be ok. I've found the anticipation is usually worse than the actual event for me.  --V

[[...]]

HI everyone,

Been very up and down this last week or so, some rough days and some better ones , nothing to shout about and feeling very frustrated that I can't move on with my taper still. I may just go ahead soon and do some small cuts to see how i do. I've tried a couple of times and just end up with such horrible symptoms with the teeny tiniest reduction. I don't get it, I'll be on this stuff forever if I can only taper 1/30th of 1/4 mg and get bad WDs from that! That's just crazy   

 

I also  feel so yucky every time I take the V . I always feel worse and my symptoms increase , especially the burning and stomach issues which are getting worse .

 

I have to go to the dentist tomorrow and am dreading it... Has to be done though.

 

Deep , just read your post, I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time ... I don't really know your history , but I feel for you and am sorry you are struggling so much.

 

Thanks for the reminder Begood that we do all heal eventually, whatever route we take.

 

Sending love and hugs to you all.

MiYu 

Hi MiYu. It sounds like you're going through the waxing and waning of sxs. Are you having any better days or noticing a change in the intensity of your sxs?  I know when I held the changes were so gradual and subtle that I didn't realise I was improving until I slowly began to realise I felt much better. Don't worry about the time it takes to get off. The goal is getting off while remaining functional and being healed when you complete the taper.

 

Good luck at the dentist. I'm guessing you'll be ok. I've found the anticipation is usually worse than the actual event for me.  --V

 

Thank you V , you always make me feel so much more confident, as do others here .

Here is how I feel, I am stronger physically than I have been, not as strong as I felt earlier on when i first started my taper , but stronger nonetheless . I've had two days where I went out and visited a friend , that's two days in about 4 months...and those 2 days have been in the last two weeks. Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick as they say in England .

Every day is different , some days I feel anxious , other days weak , some days lead legs, some days bad stomach issues , burning back is constant. So symptoms are all over the place . I think I'd have to say that overall I have improved . It's just SO damn slow it's just about impossible to see it! I guess that's why we need each other to observe and remind us.

I'd really like to be more functional , I'm really not for some time now, even before tapering , but I had other health issues that I think are better now.

 

So , I guess the hold is helping , I just am not sure how long to keep going with it , and want to feel better than I do , and I'd so love to be functional, I'd love to be able to work , I haven't worked in two years , not all because of benzos , benzos are what I am dealing with now.

Oh , my head is clearer, for sure .

 

MiYu 

 

[[Va...]]

HI everyone,

Been very up and down this last week or so, some rough days and some better ones , nothing to shout about and feeling very frustrated that I can't move on with my taper still. I may just go ahead soon and do some small cuts to see how i do. I've tried a couple of times and just end up with such horrible symptoms with the teeny tiniest reduction. I don't get it, I'll be on this stuff forever if I can only taper 1/30th of 1/4 mg and get bad WDs from that! That's just crazy   

 

I also  feel so yucky every time I take the V . I always feel worse and my symptoms increase , especially the burning and stomach issues which are getting worse .

 

I have to go to the dentist tomorrow and am dreading it... Has to be done though.

 

Deep , just read your post, I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time ... I don't really know your history , but I feel for you and am sorry you are struggling so much.

 

Thanks for the reminder Begood that we do all heal eventually, whatever route we take.

 

Sending love and hugs to you all.

MiYu 

Hi MiYu. It sounds like you're going through the waxing and waning of sxs. Are you having any better days or noticing a change in the intensity of your sxs?  I know when I held the changes were so gradual and subtle that I didn't realise I was improving until I slowly began to realise I felt much better. Don't worry about the time it takes to get off. The goal is getting off while remaining functional and being healed when you complete the taper.

 

Good luck at the dentist. I'm guessing you'll be ok. I've found the anticipation is usually worse than the actual event for me.  --V

 

Thank you V , you always make me feel so much more confident, as do others here .

Here is how I feel, I am stronger physically than I have been, not as strong as I felt earlier on when i first started my taper , but stronger nonetheless . I've had two days where I went out and visited a friend , that's two days in about 4 months...and those 2 days have been in the last two weeks. Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick as they say in England .

Every day is different , some days I feel anxious , other days weak , some days lead legs, some days bad stomach issues , burning back is constant. So symptoms are all over the place . I think I'd have to say that overall I have improved . It's just SO damn slow it's just about impossible to see it! I guess that's why we need each other to observe and remind us.

I'd really like to be more functional , I'm really not for some time now, even before tapering , but I had other health issues that I think are better now.

 

So , I guess the hold is helping , I just am not sure how long to keep going with it , and want to feel better than I do , and I'd so love to be functional, I'd love to be able to work , I haven't worked in two years , not all because of benzos , benzos are what I am dealing with now.

Oh , my head is clearer, for sure .

 

MiYu 

Youll get there. Just don't be afraid to hold until you actually feel decent and can function. I know I was a complete mess before I started to taper and was going downhill fast health wise until I made the benzo connection and knew I had to get off. What a learning experience this has been. The biggest lesson I've learned is to take it slow and be patient and I'm the least patient person in the world according to my family lol, so it's been good practice and accepting that it will be a long journey but well worth the effort. I am able to function and work but do have some crappy days which I'll gladly accept rather the months of withdrawal I had last year. It was a night mare.  --V

[[...]]

HI everyone,

Been very up and down this last week or so, some rough days and some better ones , nothing to shout about and feeling very frustrated that I can't move on with my taper still. I may just go ahead soon and do some small cuts to see how i do. I've tried a couple of times and just end up with such horrible symptoms with the teeny tiniest reduction. I don't get it, I'll be on this stuff forever if I can only taper 1/30th of 1/4 mg and get bad WDs from that! That's just crazy   

 

I also  feel so yucky every time I take the V . I always feel worse and my symptoms increase , especially the burning and stomach issues which are getting worse .

 

I have to go to the dentist tomorrow and am dreading it... Has to be done though.

 

Deep , just read your post, I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time ... I don't really know your history , but I feel for you and am sorry you are struggling so much.

 

Thanks for the reminder Begood that we do all heal eventually, whatever route we take.

 

Sending love and hugs to you all.

MiYu 

Hi MiYu. It sounds like you're going through the waxing and waning of sxs. Are you having any better days or noticing a change in the intensity of your sxs?  I know when I held the changes were so gradual and subtle that I didn't realise I was improving until I slowly began to realise I felt much better. Don't worry about the time it takes to get off. The goal is getting off while remaining functional and being healed when you complete the taper.

 

Good luck at the dentist. I'm guessing you'll be ok. I've found the anticipation is usually worse than the actual event for me.  --V

 

Thank you V , you always make me feel so much more confident, as do others here .

Here is how I feel, I am stronger physically than I have been, not as strong as I felt earlier on when i first started my taper , but stronger nonetheless . I've had two days where I went out and visited a friend , that's two days in about 4 months...and those 2 days have been in the last two weeks. Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick as they say in England .

Every day is different , some days I feel anxious , other days weak , some days lead legs, some days bad stomach issues , burning back is constant. So symptoms are all over the place . I think I'd have to say that overall I have improved . It's just SO damn slow it's just about impossible to see it! I guess that's why we need each other to observe and remind us.

I'd really like to be more functional , I'm really not for some time now, even before tapering , but I had other health issues that I think are better now.

 

So , I guess the hold is helping , I just am not sure how long to keep going with it , and want to feel better than I do , and I'd so love to be functional, I'd love to be able to work , I haven't worked in two years , not all because of benzos , benzos are what I am dealing with now.

Oh , my head is clearer, for sure .

 

MiYu 

Youll get there. Just don't be afraid to hold until you actually feel decent and can function. I know I was a complete mess before I started to taper and was going downhill fast health wise until I made the benzo connection and knew I had to get off. What a learning experience this has been. The biggest lesson I've learned is to take it slow and be patient and I'm the least patient person in the world according to my family lol, so it's been good practice and accepting that it will be a long journey but well worth the effort. I am able to function and work but do have some crappy days which I'll gladly accept rather the months of withdrawal I had last year. It was a night mare.  --V

 

Thanks V, so , I guess my fear is that because I've tapered so little that the benzo is making me more sick. It's hard to know because of my steroid experience in 2015 which made me so ill. I had also been taking benzos intermittently during 2015 so I don't know how dependant my body had become on them during that time. I also was taking ambien and that too effects GABA receptors I beleive . So perhaps I'm having to go so slowly because of these other meds that I took. It all kind of ran in together and so I have no way to know what effected what.

I just worry that the V is making me sick because I've only cut such a small amount from where I started and I started in June last year.

It's probably more likely that what I am experiencing is my body trying to heal...

Tho I doubt anyone can say benzos are healthy for you!

[[ly...]]

 

 

MiYu,

 

I have a buddy that has had an awful time with the cross to V and is going back to A.  It will be interesting to see how this goes.  Sometimes I wonder if it's the brain's reaction to a particular benzo.  This is what's so darn hard about these drugs.  There are never set answers.  No one method that "works" for everyone.  Not even a "try this, then try this, then try this" protocol.  It seems Ashton is the only guide - except the mish-mash of trial and error that we read about here.  I don't know if there is a Support Group for those having a problem finding a med to taper from where people can hear specifically of results crossing, crossing back or crossing over to an entirely different benzo.  All trial and error but maybe more targeted to those have issues with a specific benzo.  Sigh.

 

A buddy having serious issues tapering from K (I think) has finally reached BAT for advice.  I hope we hear details of the advice given and the results.  This was another case of a cross that doesn't seem like a good one.  It would be nice to have a set standard such as "give the V (or whatever) a month and go back/try something else if things are bad".  Who knows.  I wish there were answers.

 

Hoping you start seeing more consistent improvement. :smitten: