The Long Hold Support Group

[[Va...]]

This is interesting. Has anyone held a long time. Few months. Got stable and had more success w the rest of their taper?

Hi MsA. I hit the wall, held for 6 months, stabilized and have had much better success with my taper.  Not finished yet but now doing a symptom based taper. --V

 

ValleyUm,

 

Your doing a great job! You have come a long way and I lnow you will continue this way

 

Have a great Christmas.

 

ATU

Thanks ATU!  Hope your Christmas is great as well.  --V

[[be...]]

MsABomb, I have held for long periods since starting this taper, and I have been doing very well, I have blips, which means, they are very minor compared to the horrible ones I had when I went too fast and tapered too much dosage, so I have to say since starting this third taper, I am stable and functional, never had really had a bad time yet, but just doing each day as it comes.

[[Be...]]

Because holy cow, enough is enough!

 

You're not kidding 

 

I've been doing a ton of reading, books written by Dr.Lee and Dr.Vliet. I've believed for quite some time my hormones are 'confused' and the more research I do, the more convinced I am. I'm having a full hormone panel done, and am requesting the 30 day as well.

 

Your friends experience with BC pills does not surprise me one bit. BC pills are a mass produced, one size fits all, 'drug'....not to mention they're synthetic.

 

Keep us posted on how you're doing, I'll do the same.

 

Have you read the hormonal support thread that Diaza-Pam started years ago? Very informative.

 

Yes, I've read the menopausal support thread beginning to end. Interesting how as time goes by, I get more insight and old info there becomes relevant. There are some inaccuracies there, though, and it does pay to do research. Like you, I've read Dr. Lee and Vliet, and many other doctors.

 

I think the 30 day Dutch cylce test is very useful and I hope it will give you insight as well. I had always suspected I ovulated early and the test confirmed it, at about day 8 or 10. While things change month to month, it is really valuable to assess what my hormones are doing in relation to how I feel. Like this month in the follicular phase, unlike in the last several months, I am not getting the pins and needles pains or fullness in my breasts and the anxiety is lasting longer. SO I can guage that my estrogen level is not making a swift increase, and there's not enough progesterone to counter it. It's amazing to me how well I understand my body now, how tuned in I am. I suspect many BBs are like this.

 

Do keep posting, and I will alert to any insights or trials with hormones.

 

Bennie 

[[He...]]

I too am taking each day as it comes. I no longer get intense wd sxs . The long hold let my CNS catch up to where it has reached homeostasis. I have made only one small cut so far, and had no wd sxs from it. I will start a micro taper in January and do not expect any wd sxs to appear. If they do, I am confident that they will be only short lived blips. Maybe I'm fooling myself, but I am going to go real slow.. I expect it will be a pretty long time until I am free of this diazepam, but I believe it will be an easy time. thats the most important thing  to me!

Thanks for the long hold support!

 

Heath, content with the way things are going right now.

 

Ps doc says neck and tummy trouble are from my other previous issues. NOT wd  related.

[[Ki...]]

After I finished my cross I only waited about 2 weeks to start my microtaper. I figured- like so many others- its just a teeny bit a day etc etc... but I would hold prior to an event of any sort for a few days. I usually felt better, even just with a few days holding. I kept feeling like I had this schedule to adhere to- oooh Im 2 weeks behind!- well its SO nice to read that even microtapers need breaks. I needed to see that- thanks for posting it!

[[St...]]

Out of the blue yesterday I started having pain in my left nostril and this weird sensation like I was about to sneeze. As the day progressed I started to develop light and noise sensitivity and a headache, all on the left side. Not sure what changed. I'm still holding. Any idea?

[[Va...]]

Out of the blue yesterday I started having pain in my left nostril and this weird sensation like I was about to sneeze. As the day progressed I started to develop light and noise sensitivity and a headache, all on the left side. Not sure what changed. I'm still holding. Any idea?

Sounds like a blip where there is still some adjusting happening.  --V

[[Al...]]

Stephandedalus,

 

My experience has been once you fall below 2 mg of V it's an entire different experience.

I have had a heck of a time with every drop beow 2 I have made.

 

Perhaps since your last cut took you down below 2 mgs and a fair bit below, you just need more hold time to get back to baseline?

 

Peace & Healing

 

ATU

[[ly...]]

 

SD,

 

I have noticed throughout that I tend to have things on the left side.  Must be something going on in the "right brain"(?).  Last week (3 wks into this current hold) I awoke with the weird feeling that my left eye was drooping or partially paralyzed.  I've had this before and it was usually part of  constellation of sxs.  I just chalk it up to the comings and goings that we are all familiar with.  Last Spring when I was 5wks into a hold I had tingling in the lower legs and feet appear for the first time ever.  I didn't get alarmed and just took at as a sign to hold a bit longer.  These sensations are still present at a low level and are probably something that will take an extended time to resolve.  I don't worry about these type of things as they are just a normal part of the process.  Strange (understatement) thing we are all going through.

[[be...]]

Valley, I finally get what you tried to tell me about the Vodka, yesterday I really looked at my little jar, and the walls seemed to be slightly coated, so this morning I used 2mg of Vodka and the coating was not there, of course the whole time till this morning I have been on 1cc of Vodka, oh well we live and we learn. I guess no harm is done, but jeez I have a really hard head.

[[Al...]]

Question to group.

 

For those of you who are dosing once a day usually in the evening. Was it difficult to make that change?

Also, did those of you that did this, find it helped with sleep issues at night?

 

I am experiencing very poor sleep these days and I currently dose twice a day. .75 mls in the am and .85 mls at night. In my case ml is interchangable with mg. thats the way I make my liquid. Currently on 1.6 mg/ ml.

 

Today I started the cross and only took .6 ml so tonight I will take 1 ml, then continue untill I am dosing entirely at night the 1.6 mg.

 

Have any of you done something like this and did it work out for you?

 

Much appreciated.

 

ATU

[[Va...]]

Valley, I finally get what you tried to tell me about the Vodka, yesterday I really looked at my little jar, and the walls seemed to be slightly coated, so this morning I used 2mg of Vodka and the coating was not there, of course the whole time till this morning I have been on 1cc of Vodka, oh well we live and we learn. I guess no harm is done, but jeez I have a really hard head.

It's hard to comprehend when going through this lol. I try to explain my MT method to others and it makes perfect sense to me but I have to remember it took me quite  a while to figure out and I had to read builder's posts several times.  --V

[[be...]]

Valley, I finally get what you tried to tell me about the Vodka, yesterday I really looked at my little jar, and the walls seemed to be slightly coated, so this morning I used 2mg of Vodka and the coating was not there, of course the whole time till this morning I have been on 1cc of Vodka, oh well we live and we learn. I guess no harm is done, but jeez I have a really hard head.

It's hard to comprehend when going through this lol. I try to explain my MT method to others and it makes perfect sense to me but I have to remember it took me quite  a while to figure out and I had to read builder's posts several times.  --V

Well the proof was in the Pudding, really looking at the jar, 

[[Va...]]

Question to group.

 

For those of you who are dosing once a day usually in the evening. Was it difficult to make that change?

Also, did those of you that did this, find it helped with sleep issues at night?

 

I am experiencing very poor sleep these days and I currently dose twice a day. .75 mls in the am and .85 mls at night. In my case ml is interchangable with mg. thats the way I make my liquid. Currently on 1.6 mg/ ml.

 

Today I started the cross and only took .6 ml so tonight I will take 1 ml, then continue untill I am dosing entirely at night the 1.6 mg.

 

Have any of you done something like this and did it work out for you?

 

Much appreciated.

 

ATU

I wish I could answer your question but I only have experience at higher doses. I was taking 10mg at night and 2mg during the day with the idea to go to one dose. I then went to 2 equal doses based on advice in BB but haven't noticed any difference in sleep although I'm on a much higher dose. I think when you get to the lower levels, sleep will suffer occasionally. I have had sleep issues but they only last for a few days a month. I know some use low dose remeron to help with sleep but I won't recommend any additional drugs to throw in the mix. It has to be a personal choice. Hope you find the right answer so you can sleep! --V

[[Al...]]

ValleyUm,

 

Thanks, I guess Im worrying too much. I did sleep well yesterday but of course I took a benedryl.

Its the night when I take no benedryl or Unisom that I get no sleep.

 

Have a great Christmas! 

 

ATU

[[Va...]]

ValleyUm,

 

Thanks, I guess Im worrying too much. I did sleep well yesterday but of course I took a benedryl.

Its the night when I take no benedryl or Unisom that I get no sleep.

 

Have a great Christmas! 

 

ATU

[[so...]]

Hello holders, just saying hi. I'm at day 66 of holding at 3.0 mg V, and still unhappy. Headaches and pressure and weird sharp pains started up a couple of weeks ago and they are still with me. They make me feel very spacy and out of it, which I find unpleasant.

 

I was hoping after two months that things would have improved and I'd be feeling at least a little bit better for the holidays. I'm concerned that I won't feel up to attending the large raucous Christmas dinner party my family is hosting, and will instead be lying in bed. 

 

I'm trying to not get discouraged, and will continue to hold for at least another month. Then reassess.

 

Happy holidays to you all.

 

~SS

[[be...]]

Solitude, sorry you are feeling bad, jeez I have been doing my thing for so long now, that I have never really had a bad patch, just small blips that went away fast. I will say though that since yesterday, I have not been feeling as well, and the V I think has finally caught up with me after my last taper that ended on 12/13, so I am not non functional right now, but just a bit of the jelly legs, and oh yes waking up every hour, but still sleeping, but as before, I know it will come back, when that part of my Brain has time to catch up but just a blip that's all, not too many people have no sx's so I am thankful for even when they are very minor. I am holding at least  2-3 months, just tired. of all of the tapering. I just realized also because of haste I did not cut half dose each day I was cutting the whole dose, gosh I am going to go highlight my notebook and not make that boo boo again, as I know that being consistent for me is the best, and I have not been the last two tapers. Lesson learned. I am.

Happy Holidays to you. Oh I read a post this morning about Marigold and that she just pushed on through and did the things she wanted to do, and if it was off the charts she would stay in rest, in other words she lived her life the best she could, and she tapered for 5years, and the poster said she had been doing that and she found that she was living a better life, by doing the things she wanted. Of course everyone is different. Hang in there.

[[Va...]]

Hello holders, just saying hi. I'm at day 66 of holding at 3.0 mg V, and still unhappy. Headaches and pressure and weird sharp pains started up a couple of weeks ago and they are still with me. They make me feel very spacy and out of it, which I find unpleasant.

 

I was hoping after two months that things would have improved and I'd be feeling at least a little bit better for the holidays. I'm concerned that I won't feel up to attending the large raucous Christmas dinner party my family is hosting, and will instead be lying in bed. 

 

I'm trying to not get discouraged, and will continue to hold for at least another month. Then reassess.

 

Happy holidays to you all.

 

~SS

Hang in there SS. I too was disappointed last year after holding for 2 months and still feeling bad. I actually felt pretty good at 6 weeks but then went through the windows and waves pattern for quite some time and ended up holding for 6 months. I don't regret it because time passes regardless and it's not wasted time, it's healing time. It's also progress as you are allowing the healing to occur now as you taper rather than after you jump.  --V

[[ga...]]

Oh gosh, just the words "loud raucous Christmas dinner party" are giving me an anxiety jolt! I hope you do have the option of passing on that if you want to!

 

Gard

[[Al...]]

Solitudeseeker,

 

Im in a very similar situation. I am at day 61 of a long hold and still waiting to calm down.

Unfortunately the big family gathering on Christmas day is here at my house so I cant really avoid it but I plan on taking regular breaks away from the noise and crowd and retreat to my room.

 

Hopefully I can get enough snippets of peace to carry me through.

 

There are so many of us that love Christmas but just handle the hustle & Bustle right now, my heart goes out to all of them.

I hope we all find what peace we can during the holidays.

 

Have a great Christmas anyway and know that the future will hold better days ahead.

 

ATU

[[St...]]

 

SD,

 

I have noticed throughout that I tend to have things on the left side.  Must be something going on in the "right brain"(?).  Last week (3 wks into this current hold) I awoke with the weird feeling that my left eye was drooping or partially paralyzed.  I've had this before and it was usually part of  constellation of sxs.  I just chalk it up to the comings and goings that we are all familiar with.  Last Spring when I was 5wks into a hold I had tingling in the lower legs and feet appear for the first time ever.  I didn't get alarmed and just took at as a sign to hold a bit longer.  These sensations are still present at a low level and are probably something that will take an extended time to resolve.  I don't worry about these type of things as they are just a normal part of the process.  Strange (understatement) thing we are all going through.

 

Indeed. My paresthesia is always on my left side as well. Left foot, mostly.

 

I've also been holding, but for months now waiting for my wife and I to be back together in America. She finally arrived yesterday. I still don't know how I should proceed with life and with my taper. Our finances aren't great right now and the uncertainty in the world has us both really anxious. Part of me wants to just continue holding until we both have jobs and have some savings. I don't know.

[[ly...]]

 

 

SD,

 

If it were me I would hold until this stressful period passes.

[[be...]]

Found this quote and thought it would be something to ponder over.

 

"Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it."~~A.U

 

[[ga...]]

Oh, BG, you have no idea how much that means to me right now as I get up to face this day after last night's family clash. (My two adult children don't get my benzo stuff at all and demand I behave like the mom they want and used to have.) I am going to go out of my room now, forget last night, and choose life. 

Gard