The Long Hold Support Group

[[Pl...]]

Please you are not being a burden, V is right we are here to support one another, but if you feel this way each minute of the day, you need some intervention and I am worried about you, Did you ever hear from BAT, and can you tell Valley how much you have up dosed, he knows about these numbers, because I am thinking like Lynn that you need to up dose and stay on that dose for as long as it takes to become stable. You must promise us to seek help if you keep feeling like you may harm yourself, we are too far away from you and I and everyone here would feel better if you had someone with you.

Thank you... :'(

I am with my brother... I updosed from .92 mg to almost.97 mg....

Kolonopin cant override the damage the ativan did....

When I go up that high the chemical depression gets worse and

it makes me extremely physically sick and

I still can't function-I'm not tired but my brain is not "awake"

I don't know who I am ; where I am ; what I did; extreme rage

It is too potent

Kolonopin makes me feel horrible and  like death yet I can't taper it....

It is toxic to me

The 100 other sxs are there

They are physically and mentally debilitating

I am nothing near to my real self being on these poisons

This is a failed reinstatement :'( :'( :'( in epic proportions

For someone who could never drink

I had no business ever touching a benzo - I didn't know till it was too late

Bat told my brother by email today to call them directly tomorrow....

There are too many sxs overwhelming me for far too long

What if you updose, hold , do everything and it just stays the same?

There's no way out

 

 

 

 

[[be...]]

Please you are not being a burden, V is right we are here to support one another, but if you feel this way each minute of the day, you need some intervention and I am worried about you, Did you ever hear from BAT, and can you tell Valley how much you have up dosed, he knows about these numbers, because I am thinking like Lynn that you need to up dose and stay on that dose for as long as it takes to become stable. You must promise us to seek help if you keep feeling like you may harm yourself, we are too far away from you and I and everyone here would feel better if you had someone with you.

Thank you... :'(

I am with my brother... I updosed from .92 mg to almost.97 mg....

Kolonopin cant override the damage the ativan did....

When I go up that high the chemical depression gets worse and

it makes me extremely physically sick and

I still can't function-I'm not tired but my brain is not "awake"

I don't know who I am ; where I am ; what I did; extreme rage

It is too potent

Kolonopin makes me feel horrible and  like death yet I can't taper it....

It is toxic to me

The 100 other sxs are there

This is a failed reinstatement :'( :'( :'( in epic proportions

For someone who could never drink

I had no business ever touching a benzo - I didn't know till it was too late

Bat told my brother by email today to call them directly tomorrow....

There are too many sxs overwhelming me for far too long

There's no way out

Glad your Brother is with you, and so very glad that BAT is calling tomorrow, and please know that there will be a way out for you, listen to BAT tomorrow and go from there, they have helped people with cases like yours, have an open mind and hang on to the fact that each one of us have had bad times, and we are getting better, and yes Please I believe you will also, Please let us know what BAT advises. Thanks for letting us know you are not alone.

[[ga...]]

I'm glad, too, to know you are not alone. You definitely need someone looking after you and making sure you're eating and drinking and to watch for anything that would need medical attention.

 

When you say you don't know who you are or where you are, that sounds like dissociation or depersonalization. I've felt that way and it is awful. I hope BAT can give your brother some ideas about how to cope with that. I have a lot of hope that if your brother talks to BAT, you will get some help,at least some coping techniques to help you hold on while you make a decision about what to do next. 

 

Sometimes the best decision to make is to just do nothing and wait until tomorrow. It's OK to wait. It's OK to wait. If you can keep repeating that, maybe your brain can settle down.

 

I also agree with those who are saying stay put and stabilize. It's the only idea I have. It is what my doctor told me when I was all emotionally and physically all over the place. She said, "The brain likes predictability and stability and you need to stop making changes." She said take exactly the same dose of each med at exactly the same time each day until your brain settles down. I don't know if this applies to your situation, but maybe it does. It helped me.

 

Try to rest and tell yourself it's OK to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and you will be one step closer to finding your answer and to healing.

 

Hugs,

Gard

[[so...]]

Thinking of you Please.  :'(

[[be...]]

Hey everyone, I just placed this on my Word Thread and thought I would place it here.

 

"Some days, 24 hours is too much to stay put in, so I take the day hour by hour, moment by moment. I break the task, the challenge, the fear into small, bite-size pieces. I can handle a piece of fear, depression, anger, pain, sadness, loneliness, illness. I actually put my hands up to my face, one next to each eye, like blinders on a horse".

~~Author Unknown

[[Va...]]

Please, I'm confident that BAT will have some answers. Hang on, help is right around the corner! --V

[[ga...]]

Hey everyone, I just placed this on my Word Thread and thought I would place it here.

 

"Some days, 24 hours is too much to stay put in, so I take the day hour by hour, moment by moment. I break the task, the challenge, the fear into small, bite-size pieces. I can handle a piece of fear, depression, anger, pain, sadness, loneliness, illness. I actually put my hands up to my face, one next to each eye, like blinders on a horse".

~~Author Unknown

 

Wow, that is a great idea about putting your hands up like blinders on a horse. I never thought of that. I can see how it would help your brain to get the message!

[[He...]]

Please,

I am sorry that the doc I found near you is not taking new patients.

 

But I am so glad that you are not alone. You WILL GET THROUGH THIS. just hang on. We are all with you.

 

(((Hugs)))).  Heath

[[He...]]

Gard, thanks for the info about Anne's hubby's surgery going well. I'm glad. And glad that part is over. Hope healing and recovery is fast and easy.

 

Heath

[[He...]]

It's Thursday morning. Time for home made ginger tea again. Cramps! Oh I wish this would go away and stay away.

 

Heath  :'(

[[Va...]]

It's Thursday morning. Time for home made ginger tea again. Cramps! Oh I wish this would go away and stay away.

 

Heath  :'(

Heath I'm finding that the only thing that is helping me is eating low carbs. I only eat carbs for the evening meal and it has really helped with the digestive issues. I know some have good results with it and others not so good so you'd have to experiment with it if you wanted to try it.  --V

[[He...]]

It's Thursday morning. Time for home made ginger tea again. Cramps! Oh I wish this would go away and stay away.

 

Heath  :'(

Heath I'm finding that the only thing that is helping me is eating low carbs. I only eat carbs for the evening meal and it has really helped with the digestive issues. I know some have good results with it and others not so good so you'd have to experiment with it if you wanted to try it.  --V

 

Thanks V, I Will try, will try ANYTHING!

[[...]]

It was a good warning post about going slow, but it kinda scared me too....I'm not and haven't been able to enjoy a life for nearly two years now. I know slow is the way to go , but I'm so ready for a break. That last 1/4 mg just put me in a  place where I feel how am I ever going to feel better.

I want a life!

Oh well , acceptance and patience 

If it's any consolation MiYu. I'm pretty close to symptom free and I was in a very bad place for a long time. Still have a ways to go but if this continues, I don't care how long it takes.  -- V

 

Yeah... I don't care how long it takes either if I can have a life as I go. Defitnely not willing to spend the next three years in bed.....

Thanks V 

[[...]]

Love and prayers for everyone who is struggling badly. I really hope things change for you Please and Freeme really soon. I too have to take one day at a time, breath and come here for encouragement. Which these buddies are so wonderful for.

 

As for my update.... I am finding I am sleeping in in the morning a bit and not waking up with the adrenaline surge... That's something!i actually feel kind of ok when I wake up. Seems like after I take my morning dose I feel worse.

The burning is horrid and continues relentlessly.

I have some energy but symptoms get revved if I try to do much moving around .

Stress intolerance is horrid. Muscles feel tight and body feels stressed. Breathing a bit hard sometimes.

Kitty is still with me

She's sweet and I like having her here for company.

 

Heath , can you take Alka seltzer Gold? I have taken it in the past and it's quite soothing. Vit C , potassium , bicarbonate of soda I think are the ingredients . Has to be the Gold which has no aspirin or whatever it is they put in the regular .

 

Love, MiYu 

 

 

 

[[fr...]]

  MiYu,  Thank you so much for the encouragement. YOu and the others here are the best.  I also have the burning and have lost almost 2 years to this.  I can't move much.  My feet are the worst and if I am upon them its awful.  Anyway, I am now holding at 14 mg. and hoping I can get to a better placce to just live a little.  Its so wearing.  All we can do is hang on and hope the hold helps.  If I thought I could take this poison and it not bother me I would gladly do it but I don't think I'm tolerating it either.  Hoping all others are doing well and better days are ahead for us all.

[[ga...]]

It's Thursday morning. Time for home made ginger tea again. Cramps! Oh I wish this would go away and stay away.

 

Heath  :'(

Heath I'm finding that the only thing that is helping me is eating low carbs. I only eat carbs for the evening meal and it has really helped with the digestive issues. I know some have good results with it and others not so good so you'd have to experiment with it if you wanted to try it.  --V

 

Curious, V. When you say carbs, you mean things like grains and other "fast carbs?" Or do you even mean healthy slow carbs like veggies also cause digestive upset during the day?

 

Gard

[[Va...]]

It's Thursday morning. Time for home made ginger tea again. Cramps! Oh I wish this would go away and stay away.

 

Heath  :'(

Heath I'm finding that the only thing that is helping me is eating low carbs. I only eat carbs for the evening meal and it has really helped with the digestive issues. I know some have good results with it and others not so good so you'd have to experiment with it if you wanted to try it.  --V

 

Curious, V. When you say carbs, you mean things like grains and other "fast carbs?" Or do you even mean healthy slow carbs like veggies also cause digestive upset during the day?

 

Gard

Just starches gard. Veggies don't count because of the fiber. Carrots do have more carbs than the rest though.  --V

[[He...]]

Hi Z MIYU, thanks for the idea about Alta seltzer. I can't drink anything carbonated. That will n itself I'm afraid would cause me more upset.

But I have started to take GasX at the slightest hint of gas cramps. Yesterday and today it as helped very much. Either it's the gasx that is working or whatever is causing the cramps is going away.

 

 

Looks like you have had a bit of relief in the morning. I hope it gets better and better. And bless that little kitty for staying with you!

 

Heath

[[He...]]

Freeme,

Golly, I just don't know why some people have the burning and others don't.  I guess it is just like not everyone having horrible neck pain, like I have.  Since you say it's in your legs, or feet, could it be related to the back surgery you had?

I had low back surgery last dec 2015. It was successful, but I know I have issues with my cervical spine too. So I really dont know if my neck pain that started last August is a wdsx or something in my spine. The doc doesn't know from a brief exam.. I'm seeing him again on Monday and requesting an MRI or ct scan...something to help find out a definite cause, even if there is nothing that can be done about it.

 

I wish I knew something more in the way of support to offer you. I sure hope your struggles become lighter very soon.

 

Heath

[[He...]]

Gard,

 

I think V said the only thing that DOES HELP Is eating low carbs. Not that low carbs increase digestive upset. Low carbs HELP digestive upset. Isn't that what he meant? Now I'm confused. I thought he meant to eat lots of low carbs.

 

Heath

[[Sh...]]

Well guys I jumped 6 months ago and am still battling symptoms. Just goes to show that this long can take a very long time. I'm basically doing a 'hold' at 0 and it's taking a long time for my body to catch up. If you've gone a bit too fast like I have...it's possible it could even take a year to stabilise. Unless I am mistaken...and still being on the medication may play a part in stabilising quicker.

[[fr...]]

  Thanks Heath,  I don't know about the surgery.  It has helped some with the awful pain but it is coming back so almost like I went through all of it for nothing.  Having some numbness in hands also so who knows, I might have cervical issues as I am riddled with osteoarthritis in all my joints.  Its so discouraging but I thank you for the well wishes and hope you get some answers also.  All others, you are the best and all we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Hoping this is the week we all have some great days.

[[ly...]]

 

 

Hey Shamo,

 

Well, if it takes a year you are half-way there and the worst is probably over.  I hope it doesn't take me a year...but if it does it does.  What can we do?  Not much except to ride it out.  I've had stomach and neck issues lately.  Fortunately that's about it.  The neck has been an issue since day one (also T) but the stomach not too often.  I'm sorry that you have the mental stuff - I've been spared on that front.

[[Va...]]

Gard,

 

I think V said the only thing that DOES HELP Is eating low carbs. Not that low carbs increase digestive upset. Low carbs HELP digestive upset. Isn't that what he meant? Now I'm confused. I thought he meant to eat lots of low carbs.

 

Heath

It's eating low carbs.  --V

[[Va...]]

Well guys I jumped 6 months ago and am still battling symptoms. Just goes to show that this long can take a very long time. I'm basically doing a 'hold' at 0 and it's taking a long time for my body to catch up. If you've gone a bit too fast like I have...it's possible it could even take a year to stabilise. Unless I am mistaken...and still being on the medication may play a part in stabilising quicker.

I'm not sure why some recover faster Shamo. I would have guesssed you would be close to being healed by now. I do understand the mental sxs of V. Definitely not pleasant but you've come this far. If you can hang on, relief may be right around the corner.  --V