The Long Hold Support Group

[[Va...]]

Begood.... My apologies... I am very sick and can barely move... My limbs feel paralyzed and cannot breathe - dystonic reactions.... In a nutshell feel close to dying

Hi Please. We are thinking of you! --V

 

V- please don't let me die... I can't endure the sxs any longer..... I love all of you here for supporting me....

Please, remember to breathe and try to remain calm. If you need medical help, I would definitely recommend getting checked. Withdrawal is terrible and you certainly have had it very rough.

 

Do you know of any benzo wise doctors in your area? There has got to be something that will stop this train. I know you've posted about a Valium crossover and in your case it may be an option as tapering the K just isn't working. It seems to be successful for those who can't get off the K. Although V does have some nasty withdrawal, it's not near as potent as K and it seems to respond better to holding, dose corrections, etc. It also seems that most on V are able to stabilize when they get to a bad spot. The only negative I can think of is the crossover as you will experience withdrawal from the K and have to get used to the V but I'm worried about your piece of mind and would never suggest a crossover except in extreme circumstances.

 

Hang in there and post when you can so we know how you're doing! --V

[[He...]]

My children claim to not know how to  and do not answer if I call!  So I leave a message and they text back.

 

I'll bet even V's chickens know how to 

 

They are computer literate.  This is one helping me work. 

 

Gard and Valley,

You two are sooo funny. Made my day!

[[He...]]

Begood.... My apologies... I am very sick and can barely move... My limbs feel paralyzed and cannot breathe - dystonic reactions.... In a nutshell feel close to dying

Hi Please. We are thinking of you! --V

 

V- please don't let me die... I can't endure the sxs any longer..... I love all of you here for supporting me....

Please, remember to breathe and try to remain calm. If you need medical help, I would definitely recommend getting checked. Withdrawal is terrible and you certainly have had it very rough.

 

Do you know of any benzo wise doctors in your area? There has got to be something that will stop this train. I know you've posted about a Valium crossover and in your case it may be an option as tapering the K just isn't working. It seems to be successful for those who can't get off the K. Although V does have some nasty withdrawal, it's not near as potent as K and it seems to respond better to holding, dose corrections, etc. It also seems that most on V are able to stabilize when they get to a bad spot. The only negative I can think of is the crossover as you will experience withdrawal from the K and have to get used to the V but I'm worried about your piece of mind and would never suggest a crossover except in extreme circumstances.

 

Hang in there and post when you can so we know how you're doing! --V

 

Pleasebehere, we are all reading your posts and feel so very badly for you. Do try to stay calm, because we all know that stress and anxiety can make matters worse. And get as much rest as you can. V seems to know so much . Do you have a doctor you can talk to about a crossover to Valium for your taper as V has suggested?  Since you are in such a difficult place, I think it definitely is time for good medical advice. Do you have a benzo wise dr.?  If not, your GP or another doctor visit is called for, for sure.

[[He...]]

So things are not as smooth as they have been. I'm not worried, I know it's the nature of the beast, just getting more uncomfortable and wish it would stop. Goodness knows I have been lucky, with sxs compared to the struggles that our other buddies have been having.

 

Tummy still not right. Feeling exhausted, and now my tinnitus, that has been with me for months is acting up a bit.

 

I sleep with a fan .the noise drowns out the tinnitus. And the tinnitus really only used to annoy me when it was otherwise completely silent around me, (like when I go to sleep) But now I hear it sonetimes during the day when I am watching tv! 

 

Any advice?

[[Va...]]

So things are not as smooth as they have been. I'm not worried, I know it's the nature of the beast, just getting more uncomfortable and wish it would stop. Goodness knows I have been lucky, with sxs compared to the struggles that our other buddies have been having.

 

Tummy still not right. Feeling exhausted, and now my tinnitus, that has been with me for months is acting up a bit.

 

I sleep with a fan .the noise drowns out the tinnitus. And the tinnitus really only used to annoy me when it was otherwise completely silent around me, (like when I go to sleep) But now I hear it sonetimes during the day when I am watching tv! 

 

Any advice?

I think you spelled it out well. It's the "nature of the beast".  I also sleep with a fan. I've never quite gotten rid of the tinnitus even long before I started to taper. I also sleep with a fan. It's something I've gotten used to as long as it isn't "screaming". The exhaustion and IBS should let up. My fatigue has L totally let up as well as the digestive stuff. Hang on, it should all pass! --V

[[He...]]

[glow=red,2,300]HEY EVERYONE HERE IS A GREAT THREAD TO READ, BY ONE OF OUR OWN. [/glow]

 

                                                        http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=170572.0

 

Begood, thank you for posting the link to Shakemarieke's post. It was really an inspiration and I needed it today. Great read!

 

Heath

[[...]]

The cutest little cat just showed up at my door tonight. She  has made herself right at home. Purring on my bed right now. I love cats and had to give mine up after the Valley Fire .

Don't know if she'll stick around but it's  nice to have some company ! 

 

 

You know what they say about cats, MIYU.  You don't choose your cat, your cat chooses YOU!

Looks like this little kitty needs you as  much as you need it.  I think you should let it stay. It will be good for both if you.  I just LOVE CATS!

Me too! I've always loved cats. I hope she stays . She's gone off somewhere today , hope she'll be back . Hope your tum gets better soon xx

[[...]]

Please.... Where do you live? Do you have anyone caring for you ?

Breath as V recommended . Praying this will pass for you.

I crossed to V from K , it was very hard but I really don't feel I could have tapered K, it's so strong.

If you can find a prescribing Doctor , I'd be happy to help guide you through the cross as much as I can. I had to go really slowly , and did updose from 7.5 mg to 10 mg V . 7.5 didn't cover it for me.

Something needs to change for you . Valium is no cakewalk , but I feel more stable on it than I did on K.

Hold on 

[[...]]

It was a good warning post about going slow, but it kinda scared me too....I'm not and haven't been able to enjoy a life for nearly two years now. I know slow is the way to go , but I'm so ready for a break. That last 1/4 mg just put me in a  place where I feel how am I ever going to feel better.

I want a life!

Oh well , acceptance and patience 

[[Va...]]

It was a good warning post about going slow, but it kinda scared me too....I'm not and haven't been able to enjoy a life for nearly two years now. I know slow is the way to go , but I'm so ready for a break. That last 1/4 mg just put me in a  place where I feel how am I ever going to feel better.

I want a life!

Oh well , acceptance and patience 

If it's any consolation MiYu. I'm pretty close to symptom free and I was in a very bad place for a long time. Still have a ways to go but if this continues, I don't care how long it takes.  -- V

[[Pl...]]

Thank you Miyu V and begood for your help and support..and Miyu for your offer of help....I don't know what the right decision is.... i cant make anymore errors....I can't survive this...

 

I'm failing at everything..... I just had another severe dystonic reaction with my whole face jaw and body.... I was so desperate I updosed again .... It was either that and I hate to say it ... Do something else..... Just to get relief.... No one should be tortured like this and I don't know what went wrong with me.....

 

I wish I knew a professional who understood what was happening to me so they could figure it out and help me.....

 

About a month ago I called a bunch of physicians when i was still able to with some promise I thought and they said detox... :'( shows they don't know...

Would a cold turkey save me or make me worse? I'm already in a ct state...

 

I thought v was very heavy with the sedation and burning....I'm afraid all the other sxs from the ativan and k are just gonna follow me over to the v and ill just get new ones.....

I have never felt such utter despair and hopelessness in my life

 

I don't want to do this all over again tomorrow and I don't want to burden my buddies....

 

 

 

[[He...]]

Pleasebehere,

Your last post was scary! Please don't give up!  Have you tried to stop cutting everything? Just stop tapering! Make believe you are not trying to get off these meds and just stop! Stay where you are for x months and then when you are stable, don't start to taper again for many many many more months.

 

Get yourself back to where you were before you were tapering, assuming you were stable before you started tapering at all.

 

My doc told me if sxs got too bad I had the option of just staying at the dose I was at and  just stay there as long as I wanted to, and not even taper at all anymore if I didn't want to, or I could start to taper in a year if I wanted to wait.  There is no time line. No one is rushing you or judging you. (

 

(Do you live in the USA? I think you once said you were in New Jersey. If that is so, I will be happy to do some research on line for you. Maybe I can find a benzo doc for you)

 

Have you tried to just stop?  Once you are really stable and waited a long time even after being stable, then you can find a good supportive doc who could help you.

Is it possible that your terrible sxs are from tapering and changing things so often?

 

Please give your body a rest and stop everything for now. It seems like your CNS is just screaming ..enough! Just stop and stay on what ever you are on if you have to in order to get stable. You don't even have to call it a "hold". You can just tell your self that you STOPPED for now.

 

( I have never updosed so I do not know about that) ( and I don't know about dystonia, but has that occurred only since you started your taper too? Is the dystonia from your taper or is it something entirely unrelated?)

 

You can always try to start tapering next year or even after. Nobody is judging you . No one is rushing you. And you ARE NOT BURDENING US BUDDIES.  THIS IS WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR... YOUR SUPPORT.

 

EVERYTHING I WROTE IS FROM MY HEART.  AND IMO.  BUT I HOPE YOU WILL GO THE ROUTE OF GIVING YOURSELF AND YOUR CNS A GOOD LONG AMOUNT OF RELIEF AND REST. BUT NOT GIVE UP COMPLETELY. ( oops sorry for the capitol letters )

 

Please. Consider a good long rest, more than a long hold. Just a long rest and recuperate. More than 6 months. Maybe at least a year.

 

I'm saying a prayer for you.

 

Heath   

[[fr...]]

  Please, I so feel for you.  I am in a bad position also and can't seem to stabilzie and am getting worse with the burning etc.  I know how you feel, day after day of despair and thinking I can't do this.  I have to also get the strength up to even go to the Dr.  Its all too much.  Everyone has given you good advice.  At least you only have one med to worry about, I am on three and they always want to throw more at me.  I'm trying to stay off gabapentin but can't take much more of this burning neuropathy.  Just wanted to offer you a  and let you know you aren't the only one who can't make headway.  Just take it minute by minute and do reach out for help if you feel your mind going to a bad place.  Post here, they are the nicest most caring bunch and will help allthey can.  Hope something falls into place for us both.

[[Va...]]

Thank you Miyu V and begood for your help and support..and Miyu for your offer of help....I don't know what the right decision is.... i cant make anymore errors....I can't survive this...

 

I'm failing at everything..... I just had another severe dystonic reaction with my whole face jaw and body.... I was so desperate I updosed again .... It was either that and I hate to say it ... Do something else..... Just to get relief.... No one should be tortured like this and I don't know what went wrong with me.....

 

I wish I knew a professional who understood what was happening to me so they could figure it out and help me.....

 

About a month ago I called a bunch of physicians when i was still able to with some promise I thought and they said detox... :'( shows they don't know...

Would a cold turkey save me or make me worse? I'm already in a ct state...

 

I thought v was very heavy with the sedation and burning....I'm afraid all the other sxs from the ativan and k are just gonna follow me over to the v and ill just get new ones.....

I have never felt such utter despair and hopelessness in my life

 

I don't want to do this all over again tomorrow and I don't want to burden my buddies....

I'm so sorry Please. You don't burden anyone. This group is for those who are struggling. Try to hang tight and settle things down a bit and then decide the next step to take. I can say that V is sedating at first but that wears off in a few weeks. I've never had burning with V either but others may have.

 

We need to help you get past the despair and restore some hope. I wouldn't recommend a ct because of the sxs you're having right now. If you can get to a good doctor, that would probably help a lot. Please hang on! We're here for you.  --V

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300]HEY EVERYONE HERE IS A GREAT THREAD TO READ, BY ONE OF OUR OWN. [/glow]

 

                                                        http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=170572.0

 

Begood, thank you for posting the link to Shakemarieke's post. It was really an inspiration and I needed it today. Great read!

 

Heath

[[He...]]

Pleasebehere,

 

Hi, I just found a website called Benzo wise doctors on the Internet.

It lists the name of a dr in Ridgefield New Jersey.

Dr. Agop Artinian (201) 945 6319

 

Granted,  I know NOTHING about this dr. I don't even know for sure if I am right that you live in New Jersey, or if Ridgefield is close to you or not. But if you want, you can look him up and see what his credentials are etc, and decide for yourself if you want to persue this.

 

And if he sounds like he is a good  guy, but not close to you, perhaps he can give you a referral  to a good benzo wise dr that is close to you.

 

I wish I knew how to help you more, please don't give up. We are all here for you.

 

Heath

[[ly...]]

 

 

If I were in a state of absolute misery I would updose until I felt relief and/or take whatever medication needed.  I would then sit tight for a good long time, or forever if there was no acceptable way for me to taper. 

 

 

[[He...]]

Freeme,

I am so sorry that you are still struggling, just like Pleasebehere. I hope you find relief very soon.

 

Heath

[[He...]]

 

 

If I were in a state of absolute misery I would updose until I felt relief and/or take whatever medication needed.  I would then sit tight for a good long time, or forever if there was no acceptable way for me to taper.

 

Lynne,  I agree 100%

 

Heath

[[be...]]

Please you are not being a burden, V is right we are here to support one another, but if you feel this way each minute of the day, you need some intervention and I am worried about you, Did you ever hear from BAT, and can you tell Valley how much you have up dosed, he knows about these numbers, because I am thinking like Lynn that you need to up dose and stay on that dose for as long as it takes to become stable. You must promise us to seek help if you keep feeling like you may harm yourself, we are too far away from you and I and everyone here would feel better if you had someone with you.

[[Pl...]]

Pleasebehere,

 

Hi, I just found a website called Benzo wise doctors on the Internet.

It lists the name of a dr in Ridgefield New Jersey.

Dr. Agop Artinian (201) 945 6319

 

Granted,  I know NOTHING about this dr. I don't even know for sure if I am right that you live in New Jersey, or if Ridgefield is close to you or not. But if you want, you can look him up and see what his credentials are etc, and decide for yourself if you want to persue this.

 

And if he sounds like he is a good  guy, but not close to you, perhaps he can give you a referral  to a good benzo wise dr that is close to you.

 

I wish I knew how to help you more, please don't give up. We are all here for you.

 

Heath

 

Thank you Heath... I tried him a month ago and he no longer takes patients ( I was told)

[[ga...]]

Please, do you have someone with you? You shouldn't be going through this alone.

 

You are not going to die, it just feels that way. Lie still and focus on your breathing. Follow the rising and falling of your breath. Don't try to change it. Just follow it with your mind. Often this helps to calm the breath and slow it naturally. 

 

I find that following a soothing voice is very helpful when I am afraid. The Breathing Anchor on this page is one of my favorites because I love the woman's soothing voice.

 

http://franticworld.com/resources/free-meditations-from-mindfulness-for-health/

 

Also, make sure you are drinking enough water and getting some calories in you, even if a little. Staying hydrated is very important. You can feel very weak and get disoriented if you get dehydrated.

 

We are all wondering if you are alone or if someone is with you.

 

Gard

[[ga...]]

Thread,

 

I got a message from Anne that her husband's surgery went well. She is having trouble getting online in the area of the hospital they are in now. She hopes to be able to get a better connection when they move him to the other area of the hospital. She sounded in reasonably good spirits.

 

Gard

[[be...]]

Thread,

 

I got a message from Anne that her husband's surgery went well. She is having trouble getting online in the area of the hospital they are in now. She hopes to be able to get a better connection when they move him to the other area of the hospital. She sounded in reasonably good spirits.

 

Gard

Thanks Gard.

[[ly...]]

 

 

Great news Gard.  Thanks for passing it along.