The Long Hold Support Group

[[ga...]]

Extremely frustrated the last 2 days. I seem to suddenly be feeling worse. Intense feelings of anger/frustration and despair. The only thing I can put it down to is caffeine. But I dont think it has done this to me before. Really starting to wonder if I can hang on at this rate. I'm approaching the 6 month mark now and feeling pretty hopeless. I am better than I was at the early months. But I was hoping to be getting close to healed by now.

Hi Shamo. I understand we are all different but those were the last sxs to go during my 6 month hold so hopefully you're just about there. --V

 

I certainly hope so Vally. Things have suddenly spiked up into difficult territory and I'm losing my head a bit. Scared of the next couple of months. Every day is really difficult atm. Reinstatement is always in my mind these days.

Shamo so sorry you are going through this, and one can only Pray that it will resolve soon, very soon, hold on, it always gets darkest before the dawn. 

 

Hang in there, Shamo, and I'd watch out for the caffeine. It absolutely kills me!

 

You can do this!

 

Gard

[[be...]]

Hey everyone....hope you ALL are feeling better. Im finally stable after a brutal nighmare. Going to hold till Christmas!

[glow=red,2,300]"WONDERFUL NEWS"[/glow]

[[ly...]]

 

 

Shamo,

 

Please hang in.  You gone through so much and healing has been happening every day.  You are so close!

[[ba...]]

Hi buddies. Just checking in, I have a few articles to share I found helpful. I am also reading You are not your pain (with audio meditations) , and The subtle art of not giving  a F*ck, both books on mindfullness. Someone else somewhere in here recommended You are not your pain.

 

I reinstated my regular seroquel dose, it is helping. I also dropped my E water, I used to take it when I biked, but now that we are deep into Winter, I felt like it was amping me, and am back to spring water.

 

Still holding, waiting for things to level out, waiting until I sleep better, and waiting until the bad episodes calm down in frequency and duration.

 

Found some good articles:

http://mindfuldaily.site/what-to-do-when-your-anxiety-wont-go-away/2/

http://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2016/11/22/13638374/buddhist-monk-mindfulness

 

Hoping for some Joy for all over the Holiday season

http://i1088.photobucket.com/albums/i333/baddove9/beautiful-scene-aurora-borealis-wallpapers-t.jpg

[[ga...]]

Great articles, Dove. Thanks!

[[hi...]]

Hello everyone, and Happy Holidays!

I am hoping that you have good days ahead! I am a free woman now, free of meds. It's exciting and well, freeing. It is soooo very worth it to go down the long, long road of tapering, slowly, slowly. When it came time for me to jump, I did as I did throughout the taper--tried the lower dose out, which was zero-paid strict attention to my body's signals, and decided to go back and hold the previous dose for a couple more weeks. When I jumped, it was then effortless. This was the theme of my WHOLE taper-back and forth, until I was able to get to the next lower dose. Good luck BBs! I wish you the best! 

[[be...]]

Hello everyone, and Happy Holidays!

I am hoping that you have good days ahead! I am a free woman now, free of meds. It's exciting and well, freeing. It is soooo very worth it to go down the long, long road of tapering, slowly, slowly. When it came time for me to jump, I did as I did throughout the taper--tried the lower dose out, which was zero-paid strict attention to my body's signals, and decided to go back and hold the previous dose for a couple more weeks. When I jumped, it was then effortless. This was the theme of my WHOLE taper-back and forth, until I was able to get to the next lower dose. Good luck BBs! I wish you the best! 

Thanks Hiking for coming and letting us know, have a wonderful benzo free life, [glow=red,2,300]"CONGRATULATIONS"  :balloon: [/glow]

[[ga...]]

Hello everyone, and Happy Holidays!

I am hoping that you have good days ahead! I am a free woman now, free of meds. It's exciting and well, freeing. It is soooo very worth it to go down the long, long road of tapering, slowly, slowly. When it came time for me to jump, I did as I did throughout the taper--tried the lower dose out, which was zero-paid strict attention to my body's signals, and decided to go back and hold the previous dose for a couple more weeks. When I jumped, it was then effortless. This was the theme of my WHOLE taper-back and forth, until I was able to get to the next lower dose. Good luck BBs! I wish you the best! 

 

Thank you for remembering us, Hiking! I am holding onto the hope that people like you give to me. Please come again!

 

Gard

[[Va...]]

Hello everyone, and Happy Holidays!

I am hoping that you have good days ahead! I am a free woman now, free of meds. It's exciting and well, freeing. It is soooo very worth it to go down the long, long road of tapering, slowly, slowly. When it came time for me to jump, I did as I did throughout the taper--tried the lower dose out, which was zero-paid strict attention to my body's signals, and decided to go back and hold the previous dose for a couple more weeks. When I jumped, it was then effortless. This was the theme of my WHOLE taper-back and forth, until I was able to get to the next lower dose. Good luck BBs! I wish you the best! 

So nice to hear hiking! It's great to see a common sense, listen to your body, symptom based taper be successful. Too many try to rush off. You're a perfect example of what we all hope to achieve. 

[[ly...]]

 

 

YAY HIKING!! :thumbsup:

[[Pl...]]

Please help... Waiting for Bataid to get back to me.... When you do an updose do you stay at that dose for however long it takes ( months) then wait to taper....

 

Can this backfire and fail? In other words, it can work for a week and then get worse?

 

Asked kolonopin users they say it never works for the k users it seems....I am confused and desperate.... Please help me to hold on until bat aid gets back to me...

 

I'm trying everything to help myself..... I can't explain in words the torture I'm going thru physically and mentally......

 

Since my switch to pills I've been holding a month.... I know the milk put me in a semi cold turkey state for too long .. 6 months..

 

I'm holding I reached out to Bataid waiting.... I did two updoses... I'm really trying... Please be here for me please.

 

Please help... Waiting for answers......please help

[[ly...]]

 

 

Please,

 

How much did you updose?  When?  Any improvement?

 

I've never heard that updoses never work.  That seems a reckless and unfounded statement.

[[Pl...]]

 

 

Please,

 

How much did you updose?  When?  Any improvement?

 

I've never heard that updoses never work.  That seems a reckless and unfounded statement.

 

Lynn... Bless you!!!! I even started a thread you can look it up and see people's responses to me regarding kolonopin...

 

I initially did a 5 percent increase which I think was too much but it did take most of my physical sxs away..... My brother was shocked.... But it made me very sick and very drugged as it is too potent for me... I can't remember what I'm doing time, nausea... Severe cognitive issues... I had no ability to move

 

But it stopped some of the stuff that is destroying me.. The next day I could only lay there because the sedation was overwhelming.... My body felt like lead and the fog and depression from that extra dose was potent... I don't know what's normal to expect..

 

Lynn you have to remember I waited probably months when it got really bad to do an updose 3 days ago and people say you only have so much time... I don't know what's true... I know that milk put me in a cold turkey state for 6 months ...way too many sxs are attacking me... Motor functioning... It is too much for anyone to do everyday!!!! I want to give up so badly... Please make it stop dear GOD!!!

 

The first 3 months when I reinstated on k I was still very sick. ( 10 months after ativan) so I just don't know... It was slightly better....the dose is just too high..... What is it that's going on with me?!?!?

 

Please don't be mad at me... Please... I'm having severe akasthesia and bouncing off the walls for close to two years... Two days ago it was seizure / dystonic episodes...

 

I don't see a way out..

[[be...]]

Please, when I have up dosed it has helped me, so that is wrong information. You know what I think, first of all I am so glad that you are waiting for BAT to get back to you, I think they will be able to help you, I really do, I have heard nothing but good things about them. So this is what I am thinking, you are being oversaturated with opinions and you need to take some deep breaths, look at my red breathe below and let your mind rest, I do not think it is unusual to maybe be druggy from an up dose, it takes time to adjust, but the thing is and please think of this, you did feel better, so please know we are all pulling for you, but I really think you just need to relax and be one with you, this is going to work out, but it is going to take time, a lot of time, it is that way for all of us we all have to find our way, but sometimes we need to just take one thing at a time , I do not believe for one second that you will not heal. Hang in there better days are coming. Always best to you.

[[He...]]

Boy have I been out if the loop!

I'm Sick,  with a stomach virus? Is it benzo belly ? I don't know.

Cramps, diahrea  (sorry to be graphic!)  and can't seem to get warm. Have the heat in the house up to 70 degrees and I'm still freezing! Going on for three days now.

Diahrea seems to be gone this morning. Better today, but still cramps, feeling weak, but never a fever.

So  is that what benzo belly is? Or does it sound like a virus of some sort?

 

Rice, chicken, chicken broth, toast and tea. That's it for two days now. Hope it goes away soon.

 

Begood glad you are still doing so well. I believe I read that you have begun to taper again. Good luck. I know you will do well. You have such strong willed patience!

 

Also,  Is ginger tea good for bad cramps belly? I know you once told me it is good for nausea but this is different.

 

Shamo.  you have come so far! I hope you will be strong. I can only imagine what you are going through since I have not been where you are. But from all your past posts, you are a real warrior! Your blue skies may be right around the corner. Hope they come real soon. Do you know that you are a true inspiration to so many? Hang in there buddy!

 

Miyu.  I have read in many different places that supplements can ramp up sxs. I tried magnesium once and I think it may have made my sxs worse. It may have been a coincidence, not sure. But I do not take any supplements at all, except for the probiotics, fish oil and vitamin D I have taken for the past five years that my doc told me I need.

 

Heather Ashton advises that  no one should take supplements unless there has been proof that they are really deficient in something. My doc advised me to not take any BECAUSE they are not FDA approved and you don't really know what's in those things. I do know that there has been some strange disease that was traced back to 5htp but that was in the 1990's .  I once tried L Theanine because it is supposed to relax you. But I stopped that too. I drink green tea. It has Ltheanine in it and it is safer that way.

 

So I'm just giving you my thoughts. Of course if you find something helpful and safe, that is your decision. I wonder if you have ever tried to go supplement free or maybe give up one at a time to see if you really miss it. Maybe sone of the supplements you take really are not doing anything?

 

Whatever you decide, I wish you healing and peace as soon as possible. I am truly feeling badly for you. You are such a sweet person. I can tell by your posts.

 

pleasebehere I agree with Lynne. How could a long hold to help one's CNS to heal, work with one drug and not another? Sounds silly to me. A healing CNS is a healing CNS no matter what it is healing from. Right?  But I'm going to look for your new thread that you said you posted and read what the responses are that you got.

 

 

Heath to all who are suffering, hope you feel better tomorrow! Much better!

 

 

 

[[be...]]

Heath, so sorry you are sick, when I get sick, I just figure it is a flu, and treat myself gently, yes I think ginger tea will help it is good and soothing. Yes I started my taper and I have 7 more days starting tomorrow, then will be at 1mg and holding for a long while, I need a rest from the tapering and I want my Brain to have time to catch up with all the cuts. Take care young Lady.

[[so...]]

Having an awful day today. I don't understand it. Had to leave work early, could barely function.

 

I was confident that holding past my usual 3-4 weeks would help me to feel better. I'm so confused and very disheartened right now. 

[[He...]]

Anne,

I sincerely hope your husband is doing well after his surgery. I know from experience how difficult things can be when anyone you love dearly is very sick and in the hospital.  I wish him and you too, strentgh and courage to get through what ever it is that is ailing him. And don't forget to take care of yourself too. You will need to be strong not just for your hubby but for yourself too.

I'm sorry about the extra stress you have when you have to drive yourself places. If I remember you had once said that your husband drives you many of the places you go

But I do think, the more you drive yourself, the easier and less stressful it will become. Hopefully that will happen.

 

Take care Anne, and know that everyone on this forum is praying for a speedy recovery for your hubby.

 

Heath   

[[He...]]

Solitudeseeker,

Please don't be disheartened. Even when we hold for a long time, sxs still slip in. Tomorrow you may be just fine again. I had plenty of sxs slip in during my hold, now and then, but they were gone the next day. It's the nature of the beast, windows and waves! Don't give up. Hang in there.

 

And also you might need to hold longer. Sometimes it takes a few months to get to a place where you can taper again. It took a few months for me.

 

Don't give up, just treat yourself kindly, take it slow and easy, and see how the next few days are.

 

Heath

[[He...]]

Heath, so sorry you are sick, when I get sick, I just figure it is a flu, and treat myself gently, yes I think ginger tea will help it is good and soothing. Yes I started my taper and I have 7 more days starting tomorrow, then will be at 1mg and holding for a long while, I need a rest from the tapering and I want my Brain to have time to catch up with all the cuts. Take care young Lady.

 

Begood,

That's funny, "young lady" 

 

However, I will follow your lead to the ends of the earth thanks again and good luck with your taper and hold once more.

[[be...]]

Heath, so sorry you are sick, when I get sick, I just figure it is a flu, and treat myself gently, yes I think ginger tea will help it is good and soothing. Yes I started my taper and I have 7 more days starting tomorrow, then will be at 1mg and holding for a long while, I need a rest from the tapering and I want my Brain to have time to catch up with all the cuts. Take care young Lady.

 

Begood,

That's funny, "young lady" 

 

However, I will follow your lead to the ends of the earth thanks again and good luck with your taper and hold once more.

[[He...]]

I'm thanking everyone for the support everyone gives to everyone else.

 

Valley, and Gardner, and  Lynne I see so much support from you! That's so appreciated, but how are you buddies doing?

Hope you are doing ok!

 

Anyone I forgot, I hope you are doing well, and if not, I hope tomorrow will be your turn around day.

 

Heath 

[[be...]]

Having an awful day today. I don't understand it. Had to leave work early, could barely function.

 

I was confident that holding past my usual 3-4 weeks would help me to feel better. I'm so confused and very disheartened right now. 

So sorry you are having a bad day, it is normal to feel like you do right now, but benzo's have a mind of their own, and will play havoc with you and make you feel so sick, hang in there, if I had known about going slow and holding, I would not have to go through my third taper, but now I know better. Try to get some rest.

[[so...]]

Thanks guys. I did a .5mg updose, from 2.8 to about 3.3mg. I feel really bad about doing it, like I have undone my hard work. But I was feeling kind of frantic.

 

I just hope I haven't caused any damage. 

[[be...]]

Thanks guys. I did a .5mg updose, from 2.8 to about 3.3mg. I feel really bad about doing it, like I have undone my hard work. But I was feeling kind of frantic.

 

I just hope I haven't caused any damage. 

It is called survival you needed to help yourself, I have done it before and I have no damage.