The Long Hold Support Group

[[St...]]

Morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning NJ l am sorry to read about your mum's nursing home l really hope she gets through this ok.l also wander you said previously your son had the flu recently could he have had the covid 19 already?l hope you rest as much as you can my love.l think we are all feeling very stressed at this time.love to you.X

Morning Suzy it is withdrawal honey try not to worry so much.Honestly we will get through this.l know it is bleak however we really aren't putting ourselves at risk so try to get away from the media coverage and practice your coping techniques.love you.X

Morning lady Mary well hen how's the back etc?Any better?l hope so l will be with my daughter as per so will be back next week.Nothing new this end all safe and well.love you my lady Mary HenX

Morning Twiny stay strong honey.love you my lST X

Morning Intend Gilly Valley Free Meems Esperanza Miyu Bill Val Olive Final GP Stephen and everyone here sending you my love.X

[[no...]]

Morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning NJ l am sorry to read about your mum's nursing home l really hope she gets through this ok.l also wander you said previously your son had the flu recently could he have had the covid 19 already?l hope you rest as much as you can my love.l think we are all feeling very stressed at this time.love to you.X

Morning Suzy it is withdrawal honey try not to worry so much.Honestly we will get through this.l know it is bleak however we really aren't putting ourselves at risk so try to get away from the media coverage and practice your coping techniques.love you.X

Morning lady Mary well hen how's the back etc?Any better?l hope so l will be with my daughter as per so will be back next week.Nothing new this end all safe and well.love you my lady Mary HenX

Morning Twiny stay strong honey.love you my lST X

Morning Intend Gilly Valley Free Meems Esperanza Miyu Bill Val Olive Final GP Stephen and everyone here sending you my love.X

Good Morning AS      :smitten:

[[no...]]

Hello everyone,

 

I just can't get my head around it: one day feeling fine, the next day feeling like absolute crap. This has been going on for months now.

Yesterday night I slept some 6 hours and had no symptoms after waking up. None! Felt reborn. Later in the day my stomach pain slowly started to creep in again.

I did sleep OK last night, but not like the night before. Early this morning stomach pain was back in full force. Ughh.

Feeling tired, cold, hot cheeks, a little nauseous again.

Does anyone else have this too? "Fine" one day, awful the next? I hope at least a couple of you do. Please tell me I 'm not the only one who has this. What can be done about this? Any suggestions?

 

Stay save. Take care of yourself and the ones around you[/size].[/size]

Yep!! to a tee  Not so much fine  but feeling bette, and able to bare the symptoms a lot more like I'm on the way up and heading for some healing as I'm very symptomatic with a lot of  severe long term symptoms  then feeling like I'm effing dying and in a state physically and mentally. It seems to go every other day or sometimes a few days of hell, then a day of a few hours of symptomatic but bearable and hopeful about healing , then back into the fires of hell. :tickedoff:

 

And sometimes I don't get much sleep or practically no sleep but have goodish day and the rare times I actually sleep 5 or 6 hours including getting up to wee through the night, but able to drop back off I feel like effin hell when I wake up, I feel like hell every morning its bad, but it seems worse when I get a decent amount of sleep where as others say sleep sets them up for the day.  A  large group of us were discussing it before that the more sleep the worse we feel, why I don't know none of this makes any sense , and what you , I and many others are  going through, up and down  is NORMAL in Benzo withdrawal 

 

 

 

                                                                      Nova xxx :smitten:

Here you go an excerpt  from my journal when I'm able to keep up with documenting in it as sometimes its humanly impossible to do it due to symptoms  RAF means 'Rough as f...)

 

Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

16

Ok day felt good

 

 

17

Feel RAF again loud tinnitus, sore fanny, butt not going dead in minutes of sitting down, feels like I’m being stung by a gang of nettles, nerve pain hell, 10.20am  Day 4 no bm taken mag cit . Take oxy powder capsules for constipation  tonight and pray all goes well. 10.21am

 

18

Feeling good but got pissed off about noise went hammering their door no answer.

 

19

Feel really RAF and very tired , but think I slept about 7 hours but still very tired and feel worse 9.08am

 

22

Rough struggling to do stuff while symptoms are bad

 

23

RAF too many deliveries and talking on the phone which I avoid unless totally necessary its hell!! on phone never again , its too stressful all these deliveries of heavy stuff in one day. Fkn freezer sounds loud

 

 

24

Slept, pissed of with noise from next door as far as symptoms and stuff so far I’m fairing better at this time today than I was yesterday. 11.27am  Head symptoms and nerve symptoms are the worse and I’m getting irritable and anxious I am starting to feel a bit revved up in the head after eating meat, or is it just food? I’m not sure but this happens without food as well 3.54pm Good day apart from next door with that fkn rev noise in my brain 16.49

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Thank you for your response.

Glad to know I 'm not alone in this.

The better night/ worse day is something I noticed earlier on too.  Sleeping better in my case means less tossing and turning, so my muscles are even more soar and stiff ( Fibromyalgia)  than on nights with less deep sleep. Takes me hours to get going again.

 

Stut ' s advice to just ignore it is probably the best thing to do, but also very hard to do.

 

We shall all have to somehow soldier on and pray to make it through this...ughhh

 

[[De...]]

Hi Stut,

I am feeling alot more hopeful. I M not sure if my sx made me freak out or both. Felt like the whole world wa. Ending. I cant imagine going to a hospital like this. I'm a mess. Plus I'm sensitive to meds. I'll be tortured. I cant even think about it. Been staying home and walking with my scarf. This sucks! I shouldn't complain because there are ppl who are really sick and dying. It's so sad. I am glad you are with your daughter. Please be safe, tell ppl to back off like you said! Lol. Praying this end soon and the hot spots get better very soon. L9ve you dd

[[De...]]

Hey triche, that is so normal in benzo wd. You get the waves and windows. Sx leave and then they come back. I guess that's how the nervous sx heals, Try not to getdisappointed. Just except the process. This is your body healing. Ly Suzy.

[[Ma...]]

Morning DD, how are you?  Don't beat yourself up for all this getting to you.  A big title in newspaper today.......Millions of People are Stessed.......uh duh.    Hope they didn't pay for a test for that 

We could have told them.  You stay safe my friend, if you want to talk, I am always here for you.  These are hard times.  How is your Mom and Dad doing?  Love you!!  MM.  :smitten: ♥️♥️

[[Ma...]]

Morning LHSG, thinking of you, please be safe and check in if possible.  Love you all 

♥️♥️♥️    Mary

[[Ma...]]

Hi mm,

 

You are right. You would have to be off if you didn't get nervous by this whole thing. I'm a little less worried today. Omg! How are you. Are you feeling om? My mom a d dad are good. 5hey said they are trying to stay positive.  They take walks. I'm more worried than them. Jim s parents is too. How is Tim, is he working g.  Jim is working. Be says he is not worried! Ha! He is petrified of the dr.  ❤❤❤

 

Tim goes back Monday.  We are going to make a place in the garage for him to come in, clean his shoes, I am taking one of my shoe racks out there for his shoes.  Then he comes in wipes the door knobs and leaves clothes in washing machine and right to the bathroom for a shower.  It won't take long, once he has done it a few times  . He won't like it, but too bad.  Men are so weird, the simple things will bother him more than the harder ones . Will be wearing a mask and gloves.  I still hate to be here 11 hours by myself.  I know my anxiety will go up.  Oh well, can't do anything about it.

We will survive I know, I hope things calm down long before they think.  Love ya girl.  You be safe

 

[[Tr...]]

Just came back to life after the most terrible afternoon so far: utterly exhaustion. Felt like dying.

But somehow this exhaustion did pass too.

 

[[NJ...]]

Morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning NJ l am sorry to read about your mum's nursing home l really hope she gets through this ok.l also wander you said previously your son had the flu recently could he have had the covid 19 already?l hope you rest as much as you can my love.l think we are all feeling very stressed at this time.love to you.X

Morning Suzy it is withdrawal honey try not to worry so much.Honestly we will get through this.l know it is bleak however we really aren't putting ourselves at risk so try to get away from the media coverage and practice your coping techniques.love you.X

Morning lady Mary well hen how's the back etc?Any better?l hope so l will be with my daughter as per so will be back next week.Nothing new this end all safe and well.love you my lady Mary HenX

Morning Twiny stay strong honey.love you my lST X

Morning Intend Gilly Valley Free Meems Esperanza Miyu Bill Val Olive Final GP Stephen and everyone here sending you my love.X

 

Stut, you have a good memory! My son did have the flu in February. He tested positive for flu A. I came down with something the next day I assumed was also flu but I tested negative. Mine was mostly a fever, body aches, and shortness of breath. I needed to use my asthma inhaler for about a week. I wonder if I might have had it then. And maybe he had both, because he was really a mess. That would be great if that were the case, as then we would be immune I would assume.

 

My mom's cousin just died of COVID-19. We just tried to call her in the nursing home (he was somewhat famous, a musician, so it was on the news) and can't reach her, which is a little disconcerting.

 

I am so glad I took a four day weekend. I slept until 11:30 this morning! I know that is because I am depressed but rest is good. Hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected. I see so many struggling.

[[St...]]

  I found something that helps emotional and psychological symptoms of PMS. For me, I went from psychotic b, scared to be around anyone, shaking with rage and crying for a week- to normal, overnight. I saw some pop-up ad for a supplement, and I was desperate so I tried it. It’s called Jubilance. It’s hormone free. I have zero side effects. Read about the clinical trials. There are other companies making the same medication under a different name, but I only take Jubilance because it works. It might help:) Goodluck! You aren’t alone.

[[Tr...]]

Hi everyone,

Still surviving. Hope everyone is doing ok. I'll be around.

TT

[[va...]]

Hi everyone.

 

Well I won't be able to adress each one individually because I see we're millions now in this group, which is great. That means more people are discovering that you can hold and benefit from it. Like I have. I am of course still on the drug but God knows the hold has made me able to deal with my life, which was absolutely necessary.

 

Dehytq, I hope your sxs are letting up because I do think we have enough with this CV crises, but not for us. We have to deal with withdrawal as well. Such is our life.

 

Mary, Trishy, NJ, Trotsch, Esperanza, I hope we all stay together in spite of the distance and get through all this, although it's going to take a very long time, not to talk about the economy aftermath. So well, these are the cards we've been dealt now and I guess we'll have to play them. I'm mostly wanting to cry all day though I never cry because I have an inability to cry since it was slapped out of me consistently at an early age. But the tears are there all day wanting to come out. I don't know if it's the crises, the withdrawal, or both.

[[va...]]

Stutt dear, thank you for your input on tapering. I'm glad you're seeing your daughter three times a week. It would be nice if she can stop working and just be with you. At least I'd feel better and I guess so would you. I'm guessing that eventually they'll stop all activity like they've done here but we'll see.

 

I'm fine, as fine as one can be locked in for two weeks in a flat with the world falling apart around me (plus my finances and many other people's finances), a half comunist government threatening to lay their dirty paws on our savings, and well, the letany of pains would never end so I better just stop. And now I'm reading we're going to be locked down till May so that's going to be fun. The real hell here is in the hospitals. That's really like a zombie apocalypse and I'm so sad for anyone who's working there or ends up there as a patient now. And I'm terrified of ending there too.

 

I know right now each of us is going through a personal hell so I'll just focus on our favorite topic: withdrawal.

 

13 days ago I cut from 2.5 to 2.4 which is less than 5%. Well, guess what, I'm having a wave. Back to the symptoms I had abouth three months ago, before becoming more or less stable. It's not the CV outbreak because I had anxiety before the cut but this is that other thing, you know: plain old withdrawal sxs, mental, emotional chaos. OK it's of course manageable but no way could I handle a 10% cut.

 

I want to ask Stutt and Gipsygal, if we cut once a month, but we don't get the bad hit until after three months, then this is going to be a nightmare again. Am I missing something? How can I cut every month if I know the worst part is coming after three months?

 

I know these are hard times so if you guys can't answer I will understand. I'd just come up with the same question in another four days. I can be very persistent

 

 

[[ki...]]

I’m in the same boat. Awful symptoms especially right around ovulation and the start of my period. I’m currently around ovulation and feeling really rough.

[[Gy...]]

Stutt dear, thank you for your input on tapering. I'm glad you're seeing your daughter three times a week. It would be nice if she can stop working and just be with you. At least I'd feel better and I guess so would you. I'm guessing that eventually they'll stop all activity like they've done here but we'll see.

 

I'm fine, as fine as one can be locked in for two weeks in a flat with the world falling apart around me (plus my finances and many other people's finances), a half comunist government threatening to lay their dirty paws on our savings, and well, the letany of pains would never end so I better just stop. And now I'm reading we're going to be locked down till May so that's going to be fun. The real hell here is in the hospitals. That's really like a zombie apocalypse and I'm so sad for anyone who's working there or ends up there as a patient now. And I'm terrified of ending there too.

 

I know right now each of us is going through a personal hell so I'll just focus on our favorite topic: withdrawal.

 

13 days ago I cut from 2.5 to 2.4 which is less than 5%. Well, guess what, I'm having a wave. Back to the symptoms I had abouth three months ago, before becoming more or less stable. It's not the CV outbreak because I had anxiety before the cut but this is that other thing, you know: plain old withdrawal sxs, mental, emotional chaos. OK it's of course manageable but no way could I handle a 10% cut.

 

I want to ask Stutt and Gipsygal, if we cut once a month, but we don't get the bad hit until after three months, then this is going to be a nightmare again. Am I missing something? How can I cut every month if I know the worst part is coming after three months?

 

I know these are hard times so if you guys can't answer I will understand. I'd just come up with the same question in another four days. I can be very persistent

 

Hey Vnomore

Unfortunately it is what it is, my take is make a cut a very small cut then wait and sometimes we have to wait longer than 3 months. I have been doing this dance for so long now and know that the lower we go the bigger the % is so if I have to hold longer to make the journey down smoother and easier to manage then that is what I do. I now go on my symptoms and really listen to my intuition and my body. If I have a wave which I am having right now I just try to ride that wave the best I can by tapping or meditating (although sometimes I’m so strung out I can’t) and if I can’t I try to honour that and not beat myself up.

 

I have held a couple of time for over 12 months, that used to stress me out as I would see people in here come and go and recover but we are individuals and we all heal at a different rate.

 

We need to go easy on ourselves and remember this is a marathon not a race. Especially with what is happening in the world it makes our journey a little more harder than it probably would have been, we were already stressed and anxious and with the cv it has made us even more so.

 

Stay safe luv n hugs virtual of course (gotta keep our distance )

 

Gypsy

 

 

[[De...]]

Hi v,

My  sx are ok. Just my feet and muscles  again. I'm holding g for a while. I think you should hold for a while. Especially, with this cv. I have a hard time deciphering  how I'm feeling is it the virus, isolation, money. Its alot. I was terrified. It's on and off. I feel safe at home. We are all here and will get through this together. Try to remember your coping skills I kind of forgot mine since this whole mess. Ly Suzy

[[De...]]

Hi mm,

That's a good idea. I wish Jim would do that. He will tell me to relax. It's funny, he is trying to be nice and not yell and he looks awkward! I feel mean yelling at him when he's yelling at me, but its aggravating. Kill me know. He cooked dinner. Try to distract and not overdo with the news. Stay safe. Love you too. We are going to be ok. Your safest home.

[[va...]]

Gipsygal, thank you so much for your kind advice. I've been holding for more than seven months. I had a terrible crash, undescribable really, updosed after a month, and have waited seven more months to taper again because I was completely destabilized. I've read posts from a buddy called SG57 or 56, and he explained glutamate damage after going too short on the benzo. I'm absolutely certain that's what I've got, not just withdrawal. The thing is, if I only cut 5% and have to hold three months, I will never reach the end 😭. I'm glad you're finding your sanity again after taking up meditation and cutting down on the news. I should probably do that but everything changes so quickly that I need to stay informed. I'm too scared to miss on something too important.

[[va...]]

Hi v,

My  sx are ok. Just my feet and muscles  again. I'm holding g for a while. I think you should hold for a while. Especially, with this cv. I have a hard time deciphering  how I'm feeling is it the virus, isolation, money. Its alot. I was terrified. It's on and off. I feel safe at home. We are all here and will get through this together. Try to remember your coping skills I kind of forgot mine since this whole mess. Ly Suzy

 

Hi Suzy, yes you're right, where have our coping skills gone? I think we had gotten used to dealing with withdrawal but this is a completely different thing, plus, withdrawal is still there. I'm glad Jim had temporarily decided to be nicer. When he tells you that you're uncomfortable to be around because of this withdrawal thing, please tell him he's a real pain in the neck to be around and he doesn't even have the withdrawal excuse. My dating app subscription has expired. I think I'll renew it today. Chatting with some people there was such a great distraction. I can't afford to lose it now that I can't go out and see real people. I do have some Skype classes though. Very very few but I'm happy to see them, even the ones I don't like, because this is so lonely. My daughter is doing great because as long as she can listen to her Korean pop music all day and have a plate on the table, the world can fall apart. So I'm happy for her.

[[De...]]

Hi v,

He is gaming and seems to be fine. Plus he smokes pot. So I'm sure he is relaxed. I wish I could smoke it but it freaks me out. If I could I would now! I wish there was a srain that dint make you paranoid just calm. Funny how it makes some ppl feel good and I freak out. He must doesnt get how much harder this is wd. Dammit. I really wish we never took this shit. I really does get lonely and the fear gets out of control. I was mad this morning. I wanted to walk and felt like what's the point if I could die any minute. I walked a way. I guess that's not good thinking but it felt that way. I guess in real lifenything could happen to anyone at any time virus, we, or not. So all we have is the day and the present moment anyway, so we make the best of it. My mind is fried today. Hope I'm making sense. I think it's a good idea to go on the dating g app. It's good to stay connected. It's also fun to talk to guys. They seem calmer than us women and find one who makes you laugh and smile. Keep connecting. We need to not lose touch with reality in this isolation. Stay safe. Glad your daughter is coming ok handling this. Praying this ends soon. Live you Suzy  3❤❤❤🙏

[[va...]]

Thank you Suzy! I can't really do pot either. I get too paranoid. I guess we have sensitive brains. I used to think it's a bad thing but who knows, perhaps we're special 😊

 

You guys can still go out for walks? Wow. Well, as bad as this is, I doubt it'll get any better for a while, so we're going to have to all toughen up, even more.

 

In the dating app what I find are mostly persistent mansplainers, who know nothing but have to give advice about everything. It's a thing with men here. I hate it but I don't lose hope.

 

The only people I see are the neighbors downstairs. I live on the first floor and they live in the ground floor. They have a yard under my deck and my windows. They go out on their terribly kept yard, FULL of leafs, sticks, shoes, awfully old chairs and squalor in general, and they play very crappy music to match their own crappy selves and they smoke and drink beer non stop. I could never stand them but now I hate them and I'd love to throw eggs at them. And I could, because the social distancing rules would protect me from reprisals. But I won't, because I can't spare an egg in this era of food shortages. I hope you have a decent day. I'm having a wave and I only cut less than 5%. This taper looks like it's going to take forever.

[[Gu...]]

Hello LHSG.  I’m still plodding along.

 

Your neighbors sound awful V.  I wish I could come over and throw eggs at them too!

 

 

Has Builder moved on?  I need him!

 

[[Ma...]]

Stutt dear, thank you for your input on tapering. I'm glad you're seeing your daughter three times a week. It would be nice if she can stop working and just be with you. At least I'd feel better and I guess so would you. I'm guessing that eventually they'll stop all activity like they've done here but we'll see.

 

I'm fine, as fine as one can be locked in for two weeks in a flat with the world falling apart around me (plus my finances and many other people's finances), a half comunist government threatening to lay their dirty paws on our savings, and well, the letany of pains would never end so I better just stop. And now I'm reading we're going to be locked down till May so that's going to be fun. The real hell here is in the hospitals. That's really like a zombie apocalypse and I'm so sad for anyone who's working there or ends up there as a patient now. And I'm terrified of ending there too.

 

I know right now each of us is going through a personal hell so I'll just focus on our favorite topic: withdrawal.

 

13 days ago I cut from 2.5 to 2.4 which is less than 5%. Well, guess what, I'm having a wave. Back to the symptoms I had abouth three months ago, before becoming more or less stable. It's not the CV outbreak because I had anxiety before the cut but this is that other thing, you know: plain old withdrawal sxs, mental, emotional chaos. OK it's of course manageable but no way could I handle a 10% cut.

 

I want to ask Stutt and Gipsygal, if we cut once a month, but we don't get the bad hit until after three months, then this is going to be a nightmare again. Am I missing something? How can I cut every month if I know the worst part is coming after three months?

 

I know these are hard times so if you guys can't answer I will understand. I'd just come up with the same question in another four days. I can be very persistent

 

Lol, lol.  Yes you can.  I wish there was an answer Vali, but back to those same damn words, everyone is different and there is no certain answer.    Are you sure the .01 is causing this, were you feeling bad before, could it be stress from all the CV disaster?  Well, I know Stut will answer when she comes back on.  I would bold her name so there is a chance she doesn't miss it.  Stay safe with your daughter, love you girlfriend, Mary  :smitten: