The Long Hold Support Group

[[NJ...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Time for another update.

 

Still having a lot of issues:  stomach pain, nausea, neuropathy in feet, fatigue / exhaustion,  terrible sleep, cold spells,  hot cheeks.

Anxiety in the early hours of the morning.  Could these symptoms all be withdrawal?

My GP has made an appointment for me to see the stomach/ liver/ bowel specialist again. I think I might have SIBO. Sure have a lot of its symptoms. Any of you have it?

 

Having a talk on the phone with my psychologist as well as my psychiatrist tomorrow.

 

Don't watch the news anymore,  don't read the newspaper.  This CV is getting on my nerves,  like it does for most of you, I guess.

 

I have a fairly large garden, so can still get outside, even in case of a lockdown.

 

Hope you're all doing a bit better.

 

Stay save. Keep your distance.

 

Troch, I had a lot of GI symptoms while tapering. I got everything checked, nothing was found. It is good that you are getting it checked although here where I am I would not undergo any testing that could wait until the CV passes.

 

I agree with the news, I need to stop. It is very bad where I live, one of the hardest hit areas in the US. We are staying home except for groceries we order online and for walks. But I may need to venture out again this week if I don't get what I ordered (no fruits or veggies last week). My 17 year old is depressed, he is on his second week of spring break and he is bored. Other son still in quarantine but tomorrow he will be out so hopefully can keep his brother company. I remain worried about my job and my mom in the nursing home. I wake up nauseous every day just like when I was tapering. I am sleeping though for the most part, just using a little bit of medical marijuana at night, I stocked up before this went bad so should be good for at least another two months with that.

 

This is an incredibly difficult situation for so many. I really feel bad for the healthcare workers right now, fighting without the equipment and support they need. We just have to put one foot in front of the other and hope this passes soon and that we remain safe.

 

 

[[St...]]

I guess I should check back in. Shortly after I posted saying I was feeling awful I put myself in news lockdown and I started meditating for real again. I stopped reading or watching news, listening to podcasts about politics, etc.

 

Mercifully I bounced back fairly quickly and for the last couple of weeks I've been getting really good sleep and I feel I'm back to the baseline where I was at before the CV stuff started. It turns out all the coping mechanisms built up during withdrawal (acceptance, distress tolerance, etc.) are actually quite useful for this.

 

I feel very fortunate to have stabilized. I'm going to continue holding until this is over.

[[Ma...]]

I guess I should check back in. Shortly after I posted saying I was feeling awful I put myself in news lockdown and I started meditating for real again. I stopped reading or watching news, listening to podcasts about politics, etc.

 

Mercifully I bounced back fairly quickly and for the last couple of weeks I've been getting really good sleep and I feel I'm back to the baseline where I was at before the CV stuff started. It turns out all the coping mechanisms built up during withdrawal (acceptance, distress tolerance, etc.) are actually quite useful for this.

 

I feel very fortunate to have stabilized. I'm going to continue holding until this is over.

 

Thanks for keeping us posted Stephen, so glad to hear you are feeling better.  Limiting the news is good for all of us, but I do try to keep up, alittle in morning and evening.  You be safe!  Mary  :smitten:

[[De...]]

Thanks Stut and olivekitty. He us being better. I guess time will tell. To overwhelming to think about now. Stay home and safe.

 

Hope everyone is doing ok. I'm just limiting news and doing the regular distracting. This whole thing is u nbelievable.  ❤❤❤🙏🙏😥

[[va...]]

Hi all, sending out love to you all. VNM, I will 💯 send you some redwood love! 🌲💗

Suzy, that sounds hard. Sounds exactly like my ex. I know Benzo w/d is hard on the partner but not near as hard as going through it yourself. He needs to get over it and be kind to you. He is gaslighting you into thinking that you are a burden. You deserve to be treated well!

 

Hi Stut, always good to hear your voice. Mary, I’ll so sorry Tor have a migraine! You have those too often! And Tim off to work? Hell no!

 

Gypsy, you are always welcome here. Skins like you are taking it slow and that’s good. It does seem a long way out for symptoms from the cut but benzos are so unpredictable.

 

Trishy I think watching the news so much is not good for your poor psyche. Do you have erosion salts? Tomorrow evening take a nice warm bath and skip the news!

 

Love you all. Off to snuggle kitty 🐱

 

Thank you Olive Kitty 😘😘🐶🐩🥐🥐

[[va...]]

Morning Gypsy you were here not so long ago so welcome back honey.l think really everyone has their own normal so if this is normal for you then that's ok.l never am without withdrawal symptoms so that has to be accepted as my normal.l found the lower l have gotten the longer it has taken for the withdrawal symptoms to really hit me.Why l have no idea however that is my normal.l have found about 3 months into a hold l would have an uptick in withdrawal.

I think also you have a lot of responsibility which adds to the stress levels and ofcourse the pandemic is causing a lot of anxiety for most.Hang in there honey this will pass.love to you.X

 

Hi Stutt. I haven't caught up and I hope I will be excused for it. I'll greet everyone properly when I have time.

 

Stutt, I've made a cut. I can't hold forever and I'm much more stable. Not stable, but better. I cut to 2.40. That's only very little. I thought I'd cut another 0.10 after 15 days, and that's not even 10%. I was thinking of cutting 10% a month, but now reading you and Gipsy gal, and recalling my terrible crash, I think maybe it's smarter to cut 0.25 and hold three months? Please, any advice will be welcome. As for my crash, I went really fast at the end, used beer to calm the anxiety (as the Ashton manual says moderate drinking is fine 😡, really sped up towards the end, because I read the Ashton manual and according to it I was going too slow 😡😡😡, I mean, had I never read that book I'd be off by now. I also quit pantoprazole just before my crash. I'm sure that didn't help either. I also finished my Lexapro taper four months before my crash. Now I know not to make all those mistakes, but I'm also much more kindled.

[[Tr...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Val l could live anywhere and l must say l am delighted l live in the country at this time.l am more concerned about what the future will look like personally l believe we are going to get hit and hit hard.Sadly there really isn't anything good about any of this.Awe well we will just have to face whatever we must face and do what we can.Look after yourself and your daughter.love you.X

Morning Suzy l am not going to advise you on your relationship however you must weigh up the good and the bad.l know it is hard to do but you will see things more clearly as time passes.l must say l probably wouldn't be very patient with people going through withdrawal it is hard for everyone.l think it is up to you what you do.l walked away from a ten year relationship when l began my taper as l knew he wouldn't be able to handle it and also because l knew l couldn't sustain a relationship during withdrawal.l have to say l really don't regret my decision.Just do your best honey and try not to talk about withdrawal too much it does get old very quickly.love you.X

Morning Trish that is good news honey.l knew he would be exempt with his COPD.Now honey please try to curb your shopping this is going to be a time when we need to be frugile as there are going to be tough times ahead for us all.l believe you will be grand.Yes l am being careful however l am not being obsessive.l absolutely hate living like this however l am abiding by the rules.l hope the kids are well? love you my lST X

Morning Olive glad to hear from you.l hope your mom is doing well?l know you are coping better than most when they finish their taper so woohoo 🎊🎉. Keep on keeping on.love you.X

Morning lady Mary how very dare you l will not be passing on the title of lady your it 😡. You and my twiny are getting too cocky 😉.l am sorry Tim can't be at home however a lot of people don't have that luxury and l believe he will do everything possible to keep you safe.Try not to worry honey.l would imagine a lot of people are getting headaches etc at this time.l hope you feel better today my lovely.Everything ok this end.Love you my lady Mary HenX

Morning Intend Gilly Valley Free Meems Esperanza NJ Nova Miyu Bill GP Troch and everyone here sending you my love.X

Hi twin, I'm like you living by the rules but not wiping down groceries. I'm glad you're staying home but not too many places to go now are there?

Kids are doing ok. My daughter Amy is losing it mentally. It's more the staying home and not going to work that's bothering her. She's always been like that. She loves you work and now she's on unemployment and home schooling my granddaughter. My son I think it's ok, haven't heard anything negative so fingers crossed on that.

How's your girl? I can only imagine that your bombarding her with one marvel movie after another

Love you woman stay safe!

LST ❤️

 

[[Tr...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Glad to report I had a really good sleep. Slept 6 hours with just one bathroom visit. Wow! And... no symptoms after waking up. Unbelievable. So grateful for that. I started taking Pantoprazol two days ago and seems to be working. What a huge difference a good sleep makes. 

Slowly some light seems to be appearing at the end of the CV tunnel. At least here in the Netherlands. It's very early days yet, but the infection rate has dropped from 1 person infecting 3 others  to 1- 0,3.  They expect the peak in the number of newly infected and deaths this week. All restrictive orders are now in place until April 30th at the earliest. They seem to be effective. But it's still very scary, of course.

 

Sending you best wishes. Stay calm, stay save.

 

[[St...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Glad to report I had a really good sleep. Slept 6 hours with just one bathroom visit. Wow! And... no symptoms after waking up. Unbelievable. So grateful for that. I started taking Pantoprazol two days ago and seems to be working. What a huge difference a good sleep makes. 

Slowly some light seems to be appearing at the end of the CV tunnel. At least here in the Netherlands. It's very early days yet, but the contamination rate has dropped from 1 person infecting 3 others  to 1- 0,3.  They expect the peak in the number of newly infected and deaths this week. All restrictive orders are now in place until April 30th at the earliest. They seem to be effective. But it's still very scary, of course.

 

Sending you best wishes. Stay calm, stay save.

Good morning Troch that is good news on all fronts.l really hope you continue to get enough sleep it does help.Just in the meantime keep yourself safe please.love to you.X

[[St...]]

Morning Gypsy you were here not so long ago so welcome back honey.l think really everyone has their own normal so if this is normal for you then that's ok.l never am without withdrawal symptoms so that has to be accepted as my normal.l found the lower l have gotten the longer it has taken for the withdrawal symptoms to really hit me.Why l have no idea however that is my normal.l have found about 3 months into a hold l would have an uptick in withdrawal.

I think also you have a lot of responsibility which adds to the stress levels and ofcourse the pandemic is causing a lot of anxiety for most.Hang in there honey this will pass.love to you.X

 

Hi Stutt. I haven't caught up and I hope I will be excused for it. I'll greet everyone properly when I have time.

 

Stutt, I've made a cut. I can't hold forever and I'm much more stable. Not stable, but better. I cut to 2.40. That's only very little. I thought I'd cut another 0.10 after 15 days, and that's not even 10%. I was thinking of cutting 10% a month, but now reading you and Gipsy gal, and recalling my terrible crash, I think maybe it's smarter to cut 0.25 and hold three months? Please, any advice will be welcome. As for my crash, I went really fast at the end, used beer to calm the anxiety (as the Ashton manual says moderate drinking is fine 😡, really sped up towards the end, because I read the Ashton manual and according to it I was going too slow 😡😡😡, I mean, had I never read that book I'd be off by now. I also quit pantoprazole just before my crash. I'm sure that didn't help either. I also finished my Lexapro taper four months before my crash. Now I know not to make all those mistakes, but I'm also much more kindled.

Morning Val have to say a lot going on when you crashed what caused what is anyone's guess.l would seriously stick with your plan of small cuts every month for now.l also suggest every so often holding longer.Now when l held l got slammed around the second or third week at lower doses then there was an uptick in withdrawal around the three month mark.l would have to say with your history keep the cuts small and don't overstretch yourself.See how this goes my love and adjust if you need to.I hope you are doing ok? love you.X

[[Tr...]]

Hi Stut,

 

Thank you.

Yes,  sleep is so important. But can't be forced. So glad I slept well.

I split up my Diazepam intake into 2 portions  again: 2 mgs before bed, but taking it earlier,  some 45 minutes before turning in. Hoping less poison will make me feel less sick at night. And the other part  at breakfast. This is the part I 'm tapering very slowly. So far, so good.

 

I hope you're doing OK.

 

Take care. 🤗

 

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Val l could live anywhere and l must say l am delighted l live in the country at this time.l am more concerned about what the future will look like personally l believe we are going to get hit and hit hard.Sadly there really isn't anything good about any of this.Awe well we will just have to face whatever we must face and do what we can.Look after yourself and your daughter.love you.X

Morning Suzy l am not going to advise you on your relationship however you must weigh up the good and the bad.l know it is hard to do but you will see things more clearly as time passes.l must say l probably wouldn't be very patient with people going through withdrawal it is hard for everyone.l think it is up to you what you do.l walked away from a ten year relationship when l began my taper as l knew he wouldn't be able to handle it and also because l knew l couldn't sustain a relationship during withdrawal.l have to say l really don't regret my decision.Just do your best honey and try not to talk about withdrawal too much it does get old very quickly.love you.X

Morning Trish that is good news honey.l knew he would be exempt with his COPD.Now honey please try to curb your shopping this is going to be a time when we need to be frugile as there are going to be tough times ahead for us all.l believe you will be grand.Yes l am being careful however l am not being obsessive.l absolutely hate living like this however l am abiding by the rules.l hope the kids are well? love you my lST X

Morning Olive glad to hear from you.l hope your mom is doing well?l know you are coping better than most when they finish their taper so woohoo 🎊🎉. Keep on keeping on.love you.X

Morning lady Mary how very dare you l will not be passing on the title of lady your it 😡. You and my twiny are getting too cocky 😉.l am sorry Tim can't be at home however a lot of people don't have that luxury and l believe he will do everything possible to keep you safe.Try not to worry honey.l would imagine a lot of people are getting headaches etc at this time.l hope you feel better today my lovely.Everything ok this end.Love you my lady Mary HenX

Morning Intend Gilly Valley Free Meems Esperanza NJ Nova Miyu Bill GP Troch and everyone here sending you my love.X

Hi twin, I'm like you living by the rules but not wiping down groceries. I'm glad you're staying home but not too many places to go now are there?

Kids are doing ok. My daughter Amy is losing it mentally. It's more the staying home and not going to work that's bothering her. She's always been like that. She loves you work and now she's on unemployment and home schooling my granddaughter. My son I think it's ok, haven't heard anything negative so fingers crossed on that.

How's your girl? I can only imagine that your bombarding her with one marvel movie after another

Love you woman stay safe!

LST ❤️

Morning Trish l am not surprised regarding Amy l think a lot of people are feeling that way.Hard enough staying home add in a child and it's a thousand times worse 😵. Sadly there isn't going to be a quick fix so we are just going to have to grin and bare it the best we can.My daughter is working so l only see her for three days a week.Thank God for that we would kill other if she wasn't 😏.I hope you have a decent day twiny l know we will get through this.love you my lST X 😘

[[St...]]

Hi Stut,

 

Thank you.

Yes,  sleep is so important. But can't be forced. So glad I slept well.

I split up my Diazepam intake into 2 portions  again: 2 mgs before bed, but taking it earlier,  some 45 minutes before turning in. Hoping less poison will make me feel less sick at night. And the other part  at breakfast. This is the part I 'm tapering very slowly. So far, so good.

 

I hope you're doing OK.

 

Take care. 🤗

Same old stuff this end thank you for asking.l have everything crossed for you Troch.l believe you will find your way through this.Try to enjoy your day.X

[[St...]]

Good morning Suzy l hope you are doing ok?l know you are in the grip of withdrawal but you will prevail.This is surreal however it will pass.Stay strong honey.love you.X

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning NJ l know how stressed you are and it really is understandable at this time.l can imagine this is boring for your son l have to say l am bored however he is old enough to know he is vulnerable.l really hope your job is safe however most people will find themselves in your position.Try to take each day as it comes honey we really can't do any more than that at this time.love to you.X

Morning Stephen good news.l am glad you have stopped watching the news it really does impact our mental health.Keep on keeping on.love to you.X

Morning Lady Mary awe Hen l hope you feel better today my love.l wish you didn't have to suffer so much.Stay strong honey.love you my lady Mary HenX

. Morning Intend Gilly Valley Free Meems Esperanza NJ Nova Miyu Final Gypsy Olive GP and everyone here sending you my love.X

[[Gy...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Time for another update.

 

Still having a lot of issues:  stomach pain, nausea, neuropathy in feet, fatigue / exhaustion,  terrible sleep, cold spells,  hot cheeks.

Anxiety in the early hours of the morning.  Could these symptoms all be withdrawal?

My GP has made an appointment for me to see the stomach/ liver/ bowel specialist again. I think I might have SIBO. Sure have a lot of its symptoms. Any of you have it?

 

Having a talk on the phone with my psychologist as well as my psychiatrist tomorrow.

 

Don't watch the news anymore,  don't read the newspaper.  This CV is getting on my nerves,  like it does for most of you, I guess.

 

I have a fairly large garden, so can still get outside, even in case of a lockdown.

 

Hope you're all doing a bit better.

 

Stay save. Keep your distance.

 

Hi Trochsetter

 

Lots of issues you are having I also experienced, I too have fibromyalgia and was put on diazepam and then the amitriptyline. Whilst only a small dose of 25mg of ami it was an absolute nightmare weaning off it. I had aching legs that went on for 8 months, it was like I had done a massive workout but the pain never left. So many stomach issues, aches and pains everywhere, I saw an amazing naturopath who helped me tremendously and finally I rid myself of the Ami and as time goes on my body is slowly recovering.

I still have issues at the moment I have just gone down another mg of v and the nausea has set in again hoping it doesn’t last too long.

Wishing you all the best

 

Gypsy

[[Tr...]]

Hi Gipsy,

 

Amazing!  Your story and mine have some much in common.

Glad you found a good naturopath. Will try to find one where I live.

Yes, weaning off the Amitriptyline was really hard. I was on only 10 mgs for a couple of months.

But tapering off Diazepam isn't a joke either, as we both know too well.

Best of luck with your taper. We will get there in the end.

 

Stay strong!

 

[[NJ...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning NJ l know how stressed you are and it really is understandable at this time.l can imagine this is boring for your son l have to say l am bored however he is old enough to know he is vulnerable.l really hope your job is safe however most people will find themselves in your position.Try to take each day as it comes honey we really can't do any more than that at this time.love to you.X

Morning Stephen good news.l am glad you have stopped watching the news it really does impact our mental health.Keep on keeping on.love to you.X

Morning Lady Mary awe Hen l hope you feel better today my love.l wish you didn't have to suffer so much.Stay strong honey.love you my lady Mary HenX

. Morning Intend Gilly Valley Free Meems Esperanza NJ Nova Miyu Final Gypsy Olive GP and everyone here sending you my love.X

 

Stut,

 

I am glad you get to spend time with your daughter. I did take today and tomorrow off ... I am tired, I need a long weekend. My one son who had been traveling is now out of quarantine so we are switching our house back to normal.

 

I heard late yesterday that there is coronavirus in the nursing home where my mom lives. This has me very concerned. A nursing home close to me just lost 5 residents and I think pretty much everyone else is infected.

 

Everyone, be safe.

[[Ma...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning NJ l know how stressed you are and it really is understandable at this time.l can imagine this is boring for your son l have to say l am bored however he is old enough to know he is vulnerable.l really hope your job is safe however most people will find themselves in your position.Try to take each day as it comes honey we really can't do any more than that at this time.love to you.X

Morning Stephen good news.l am glad you have stopped watching the news it really does impact our mental health.Keep on keeping on.love to you.X

Morning Lady Mary awe Hen l hope you feel better today my love.l wish you didn't have to suffer so much.Stay strong honey.love you my lady Mary HenX

. Morning Intend Gilly Valley Free Meems Esperanza NJ Nova Miyu Final Gypsy Olive GP and everyone here sending you my love.X

 

Stut,

 

I am glad you get to spend time with your daughter. I did take today and tomorrow off ... I am tired, I need a long weekend. My one son who had been traveling is now out of quarantine so we are switching our house back to normal.

 

I heard late yesterday that there is coronavirus in the nursing home where my mom lives. This has me very concerned. A nursing home close to me just lost 5 residents and I think pretty much everyone else is infected.

 

Everyone, be safe.

 

 

You need a long weekend NJ.  I know you are worried about your Mom  .  But, yay, your son is out.

That is good news.  This is a horrible time.  I hope your mom is okay and you manage to relax some.  I am still not sure how you managed 2 teenage boys separated, you should write a book.  LY, keep us posted  :smitten:

[[De...]]

Praying this ends soon nj  :-[ Glad you have a long weekend. Stay safe  :smitten:

[[Ma...]]

Praying this ends soon nj  :-[ Glad you have a long weekend. Stay safe  :smitten:

 

 

Hey DD, thinking about you girlfriend, please be safe.  I love you , MM  :smitten:

[[De...]]

You too mm! You be safe too! Praying this nightmare will end!  Love you dd ❤❤❤🙏

[[Tr...]]

Hello everyone,

 

I just can't get my head around it: one day feeling fine, the next day feeling like absolute crap. This has been going on for months now.

Yesterday night I slept some 6 hours and had no symptoms after waking up. None! Felt reborn. Later in the day my stomach pain slowly started to creep in again.

I did sleep OK last night, but not like the night before. Early this morning stomach pain was back in full force. Ughh.

Feeling tired, cold, hot cheeks, a little nauseous again.

Does anyone else have this too? "Fine" one day, awful the next? I hope at least a couple of you do. Please tell me I 'm not the only one who has this. What can be done about this? Any suggestions?

 

Stay save. Take care of yourself and the ones around you.

[[no...]]

Hello everyone,

 

I just can't get my head around it: one day feeling fine, the next day feeling like absolute crap. This has been going on for months now.

Yesterday night I slept some 6 hours and had no symptoms after waking up. None! Felt reborn. Later in the day my stomach pain slowly started to creep in again.

I did sleep OK last night, but not like the night before. Early this morning stomach pain was back in full force. Ughh.

Feeling tired, cold, hot cheeks, a little nauseous again.

Does anyone else have this too? "Fine" one day, awful the next? I hope at least a couple of you do. Please tell me I 'm not the only one who has this. What can be done about this? Any suggestions?

 

Stay save. Take care of yourself and the ones around you.

Yep!! to a tee  Not so much fine  but feeling bette, and able to bare the symptoms a lot more like I'm on the way up and heading for some healing as I'm very symptomatic with a lot of  severe long term symptoms  then feeling like I'm effing dying and in a state physically and mentally. It seems to go every other day or sometimes a few days of hell, then a day of a few hours of symptomatic but bearable and hopeful about healing , then back into the fires of hell. :tickedoff:

 

And sometimes I don't get much sleep or practically no sleep but have goodish day and the rare times I actually sleep 5 or 6 hours including getting up to wee through the night, but able to drop back off I feel like effin hell when I wake up, I feel like hell every morning its bad, but it seems worse when I get a decent amount of sleep where as others say sleep sets them up for the day.  A  large group of us were discussing it before that the more sleep the worse we feel, why I don't know none of this makes any sense , and what you , I and many others are  going through, up and down  is NORMAL in Benzo withdrawal 

 

 

 

                                                                      Nova xxx :smitten:

[[St...]]

Hello everyone,

 

I just can't get my head around it: one day feeling fine, the next day feeling like absolute crap. This has been going on for months now.

Yesterday night I slept some 6 hours and had no symptoms after waking up. None! Felt reborn. Later in the day my stomach pain slowly started to creep in again.

I did sleep OK last night, but not like the night before. Early this morning stomach pain was back in full force. Ughh.

Feeling tired, cold, hot cheeks, a little nauseous again.

Does anyone else have this too? "Fine" one day, awful the next? I hope at least a couple of you do. Please tell me I 'm not the only one who has this. What can be done about this? Any suggestions?

 

Stay save. Take care of yourself and the ones around you.

Yep!! to a tee  Not so much fine  but feeling bette, and able to bare the symptoms a lot more like I'm on the way up and heading for some healing as I'm very symptomatic with a lot of  severe long term symptoms  then feeling like I'm effing dying and in a state physically and mentally. It seems to go every other day or sometimes a few days of hell, then a day of a few hours of symptomatic but bearable and hopeful about healing , then back into the fires of hell. :tickedoff:

 

And sometimes I don't get much sleep or practically no sleep but have goodish day and the rare times I actually sleep 5 or 6 hours including getting up to wee through the night, but able to drop back off I feel like effin hell when I wake up, I feel like hell every morning its bad, but it seems worse when I get a decent amount of sleep where as others say sleep sets them up for the day.  A  large group of us were discussing it before that the more sleep the worse we feel, why I don't know none of this makes any sense , and what you , I and many others are  going through, up and down  is NORMAL in Benzo withdrawal 

 

 

 

                                                                      Nova xxx :smitten:

Have to say l am exactly the same the more sleep l get the worse l am the following day.l can't work it out it makes absolutely no sense and to be honest with you l have given up thinking about any of it.l have no idea why l have no windows etc it is what it is.l would suggest the best way of dealing with withdrawal is use as many coping mechanisms as you can find.love to my AS and Troch.X