The Long Hold Support Group

[[He...]]

anne

It's no wonder your blood pressure was up with a doctor appt. and a DENTIST appt. I hate to go to the dentist. And my doc says I have " white coat high bp"  meaning my bp goes up every time I visit him! I am overdo for a visit. Glad those appointments are behind you now. Hope you are feeling better and bp is better too. Hope all is well with your teeth so you dont have to go back there again soon!

 

miyu

how are you doing today? I hope better!

Last night I had a three hour wave of unbalance A a bit dizzy. And I woke with crazy scary thoughts again this morning! Oh how I hate that! But I distracted myself with my iPad of course because here I am!  They are gone now. Phew.

 

I hope everyone is having a good day today.

 

Heath

 

[[...]]

Hello all.  Started my daily microtaper again a week ago removing .001 mg a day from the 1.21 mg klonopin I'm on.  I'm not sure that the long hold did anything except not let me get way worse.  I made the mistake of then going down to three doses a day and then back up to four doses a day and tried a tiny updose because everything made me psychotic/frantic/out of my mind.  I would love to hear from people who have gotten better on the way down because that's never happened for me and many say I won't get better until I'm off, but I feel so "off" with new physical symptoms now just taking off this tiny amount that I need the scientific explanation of why a long slow taper makes you heal.  I was told that receptors are being nudged to upregulate while you taper, but is that BS?  Bless you all!

Hi liza!  I hope there are some who can answer this for you. All I have is SG's theory (I use SG as he tapered K also).

 

My belief is the faster you taper the longer it will take to get this behind you.  How could this be?  Glutamate damage.  If you go slow, you can avoid it.  If you go fast, it tacks on a lot of time.

 

Before we begin tapering we are already damaged.  We have down regulated GABA receptors - basically we lack them and the brain cannot function without the assistance of the drug.  Slow tapering creates a slight drug shortage and a rise in the excitement level in the brain.  The brain senses this and acts to calm itself down by adding back receptors.  This is a very good thing - it is healing.  But if we go too fast we become too short of benzo, and this creates too much excitement.  At some point the brain cannot handle it and goes kind of haywire, resulting in nasty, long-lasting damage involving the glutamate system.  This is really the culprit.

 

So, to me, the goal of a taper is to stay out of glutamate damage.  Go slow enough to keep symptoms at bay - near or at zero.  If you don't you'll start accumulating glutamate damage.  You'll still heal eventually, but it is an additional, avoidable brain injury that will take much longer to heal.  And it will be a lousy, disabling experience for god knows how long - months or even years.

 

This is my understanding of the problem.

 

Hope you feel better on the way down!  --V

 

Hi Valley. Thanks for this quote..... So this probably applies to all benzos I would think? And when we have gone too fast and become unstable, long holds are what seems to be required to allow the brain and nervous system to heal.

This last 1/4 mg cut I made in the last week of September definitely crossed me over into long lasting withdrawal symptoms that feel mostly like nervous system damage. I actually had some better days when I first was off the klonopin and fully crossed to V , but as soon as I started the V taper things started getting harder. As you said in answer to one of my other posts, things caught up when I started tapering and I got slammed ...makes sense , I just hope I can heal this phase soon . I suppose I'll have to wait and see. I do worry that the longer I'm on the harder it will be,but I guess the damage is already done and there's no where to go but forward, slowly, and wait for healing to take place.

Have to trust this which is not so easy as you know!

Thanks again valley for all your help 

 

Hope everyone is having a better day or at least able to practice acceptance 

[[...]]

anne

It's no wonder your blood pressure was up with a doctor appt. and a DENTIST appt. I hate to go to the dentist. And my doc says I have " white coat high bp"  meaning my bp goes up every time I visit him! I am overdo for a visit. Glad those appointments are behind you now. Hope you are feeling better and bp is better too. Hope all is well with your teeth so you dont have to go back there again soon!

 

miyu

how are you doing today? I hope better!

Last night I had a three hour wave of unbalance A a bit dizzy. And I woke with crazy scary thoughts again this morning! Oh how I hate that! But I distracted myself with my iPad of course because here I am!  They are gone now. Phew.

 

I hope everyone is having a good day today.

 

Heath

Thanks Heath glad your wave passed, seems like they are coming and going pretty quickly now? That's great!

I don't know yet if today is a better day. It's still morning and I'm in bed . Trying to stay relaxed so as not to excite my nervous system any more than necessary . The last two days have been really hard ones, symptoms seemed to just get really amped up. So I'm just praying every day that things will ease up quickly. If that could happen , and I felt more stable ,I would be happy , and have the proof that my body is healing and holding is a GOOD thing. For now I have to go on faith because I don't have the experience in my body yet. And knowing that cutting would make me worse right now, of that I am sure.

My nerves just feel like they are firing constantly , pain , burning , and depression probably cause I feel bad and am alone so much unable to do anything without aggravating my nerves.

Fortunately I've been able to watch some films and series. I couldn't do that for a long time when I was on the K and during the crossover . So that must be progressin my brain somewhere . I've been watching Mistresses.... I like it, it's pretty benign .

Our brains are so sensitive, I feel like anything negative just sticks , so I stay away as much as possible from anything even slightly negative .

Hope your day goes well !  :smitten:

[[Pl...]]

Anyone here who has done a long hold on diazepam and then updosed anyway?  Wonder how that has gone for you.  How high did you know to updose?  Did you stabalize?  Did it proove to not make sx any better?  Then what?  Keep holding?

 

Thanks

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie. I updose after a 6 month hold when switching to liquid as I noticed an uptick in minor sxs. It did take care of the minor sxs and I started to taper about 2 weeks later. Hope that helps a little.  --V

 

Thanks Valley!

Looks like you went up .5.  Is that right.  So you were stable prior, but got the sx when crossing over to liquid and did the .5 updose.  No trouble continuing your taper it looks like.  Thanks much.

 

Sharkie

Yes. That's exactly what happened.  --V

 

Hi V- I was looking to switch back to pills as my sxs increased very much so with the liquid that I've been doing for six months... I saw you too experienced  issues though minor.... I've been asking a few people their experience with this  including the k people... I see many of them have had to switch back to pills....

 

It seems you have acquired much info on your propaganda list on different experiences with long holds but have you seen this alot with pills to liquid especially with k...I'm putting my feelers out everywhere just to get some sort of idea....really really struggling too long....

 

I'm never quite sure where to post as I don't want to delineate from the topic of the thread so I apologize if this wasnt the place to do it... I just saw this and figured I would ask as I value your opinion too.... Many thanks....

[[Va...]]

Anyone here who has done a long hold on diazepam and then updosed anyway?  Wonder how that has gone for you.  How high did you know to updose?  Did you stabalize?  Did it proove to not make sx any better?  Then what?  Keep holding?

 

Thanks

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie. I updose after a 6 month hold when switching to liquid as I noticed an uptick in minor sxs. It did take care of the minor sxs and I started to taper about 2 weeks later. Hope that helps a little.  --V

 

Thanks Valley!

Looks like you went up .5.  Is that right.  So you were stable prior, but got the sx when crossing over to liquid and did the .5 updose.  No trouble continuing your taper it looks like.  Thanks much.

 

Sharkie

Yes. That's exactly what happened.  --V

 

Hi V- I was looking to switch back to pills as my sxs increased very much so with the liquid that I've been doing for six months... I saw you too experienced  issues though minor.... I've been asking a few people their experience with this  including the k people... I see many of them have had to switch back to pills....

 

It seems you have acquired much info on your propaganda list on different experiences with long holds but have you seen this alot with pills to liquid especially with k...I'm putting my feelers out everywhere just to get some sort of idea....really really struggling too long....

 

I'm never quite sure where to post as I don't want to delineate from the topic of the thread so I apologize if this wasnt the place to do it... I just saw this and figured I would ask as I value your opinion too.... Many thanks....

Hi Please. It's a valid question. I would think there may be a slight uptick in sxs regardless of the benzo just due to the fact that the benzo is already broken down and metabolised faster than a solid pill. That's my theory anyway. My body did adjust after a week and I started to taper after another week.  --V

[[Va...]]

Hello all.  Started my daily microtaper again a week ago removing .001 mg a day from the 1.21 mg klonopin I'm on.  I'm not sure that the long hold did anything except not let me get way worse.  I made the mistake of then going down to three doses a day and then back up to four doses a day and tried a tiny updose because everything made me psychotic/frantic/out of my mind.  I would love to hear from people who have gotten better on the way down because that's never happened for me and many say I won't get better until I'm off, but I feel so "off" with new physical symptoms now just taking off this tiny amount that I need the scientific explanation of why a long slow taper makes you heal.  I was told that receptors are being nudged to upregulate while you taper, but is that BS?  Bless you all!

Hi liza!  I hope there are some who can answer this for you. All I have is SG's theory (I use SG as he tapered K also).

 

My belief is the faster you taper the longer it will take to get this behind you.  How could this be?  Glutamate damage.  If you go slow, you can avoid it.  If you go fast, it tacks on a lot of time.

 

Before we begin tapering we are already damaged.  We have down regulated GABA receptors - basically we lack them and the brain cannot function without the assistance of the drug.  Slow tapering creates a slight drug shortage and a rise in the excitement level in the brain.  The brain senses this and acts to calm itself down by adding back receptors.  This is a very good thing - it is healing.  But if we go too fast we become too short of benzo, and this creates too much excitement.  At some point the brain cannot handle it and goes kind of haywire, resulting in nasty, long-lasting damage involving the glutamate system.  This is really the culprit.

 

So, to me, the goal of a taper is to stay out of glutamate damage.  Go slow enough to keep symptoms at bay - near or at zero.  If you don't you'll start accumulating glutamate damage.  You'll still heal eventually, but it is an additional, avoidable brain injury that will take much longer to heal.  And it will be a lousy, disabling experience for god knows how long - months or even years.

 

This is my understanding of the problem.

 

Hope you feel better on the way down!  --V

 

Hi Valley. Thanks for this quote..... So this probably applies to all benzos I would think? And when we have gone too fast and become unstable, long holds are what seems to be required to allow the brain and nervous system to heal.

This last 1/4 mg cut I made in the last week of September definitely crossed me over into long lasting withdrawal symptoms that feel mostly like nervous system damage. I actually had some better days when I first was off the klonopin and fully crossed to V , but as soon as I started the V taper things started getting harder. As you said in answer to one of my other posts, things caught up when I started tapering and I got slammed ...makes sense , I just hope I can heal this phase soon . I suppose I'll have to wait and see. I do worry that the longer I'm on the harder it will be,but I guess the damage is already done and there's no where to go but forward, slowly, and wait for healing to take place.

Have to trust this which is not so easy as you know!

Thanks again valley for all your help 

 

Hope everyone is having a better day or at least able to practice acceptance 

Hi Miyu. Yes this would apply to all benzos. If it were possible to find the optimal taper rate all the way down, holding would not be needed. Unfortunately it's a trial and error process for us as we decrease and have to adjust the rate of our cuts, sometimes holding for a while to stabilize.  --V

[[Pl...]]

Anyone here who has done a long hold on diazepam and then updosed anyway?  Wonder how that has gone for you.  How high did you know to updose?  Did you stabalize?  Did it proove to not make sx any better?  Then what?  Keep holding?

 

Thanks

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie. I updose after a 6 month hold when switching to liquid as I noticed an uptick in minor sxs. It did take care of the minor sxs and I started to taper about 2 weeks later. Hope that helps a little.  --V

 

Thanks Valley!

Looks like you went up .5.  Is that right.  So you were stable prior, but got the sx when crossing over to liquid and did the .5 updose.  No trouble continuing your taper it looks like.  Thanks much.

 

Sharkie

Yes. That's exactly what happened.  --V

 

Hi V- I was looking to switch back to pills as my sxs increased very much so with the liquid that I've been doing for six months... I saw you too experienced  issues though minor.... I've been asking a few people their experience with this  including the k people... I see many of them have had to switch back to pills....

 

It seems you have acquired much info on your propaganda list on different experiences with long holds but have you seen this alot with pills to liquid especially with k...I'm putting my feelers out everywhere just to get some sort of idea....really really struggling too long....

 

I'm never quite sure where to post as I don't want to delineate from the topic of the thread so I apologize if this wasnt the place to do it... I just saw this and figured I would ask as I value your opinion too.... Many thanks....

Hi Please. It's a valid question. I would think there may be a slight uptick in sxs regardless of the benzo just due to the fact that the benzo is already broken down and metabolised faster than a solid pill. That's my theory anyway. My body did adjust after a week and I started to taper after another week.  --V

Thanks v.... I feel that never really happened for me..... One woman on k when she switched to liquid said it felt exactly like a cold turkey..... and I've seen some people in their signature on k state they switched back to pills after a couple of months...very few I've seen choose this method..... Its so strange..... I'm trying my hardest to try everything...

i wonder if u switch back  to pills if the same thing will happen ....in the sense that the brain will respond better if that's the case.... That's what I'm really trying to find out from the few I've asked....

 

Very much appreciated... Thank you....

[[Va...]]

Anyone here who has done a long hold on diazepam and then updosed anyway?  Wonder how that has gone for you.  How high did you know to updose?  Did you stabalize?  Did it proove to not make sx any better?  Then what?  Keep holding?

 

Thanks

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie. I updose after a 6 month hold when switching to liquid as I noticed an uptick in minor sxs. It did take care of the minor sxs and I started to taper about 2 weeks later. Hope that helps a little.  --V

 

Thanks Valley!

Looks like you went up .5.  Is that right.  So you were stable prior, but got the sx when crossing over to liquid and did the .5 updose.  No trouble continuing your taper it looks like.  Thanks much.

 

Sharkie

Yes. That's exactly what happened.  --V

 

Hi V- I was looking to switch back to pills as my sxs increased very much so with the liquid that I've been doing for six months... I saw you too experienced  issues though minor.... I've been asking a few people their experience with this  including the k people... I see many of them have had to switch back to pills....

 

It seems you have acquired much info on your propaganda list on different experiences with long holds but have you seen this alot with pills to liquid especially with k...I'm putting my feelers out everywhere just to get some sort of idea....really really struggling too long....

 

I'm never quite sure where to post as I don't want to delineate from the topic of the thread so I apologize if this wasnt the place to do it... I just saw this and figured I would ask as I value your opinion too.... Many thanks....

Hi Please. It's a valid question. I would think there may be a slight uptick in sxs regardless of the benzo just due to the fact that the benzo is already broken down and metabolised faster than a solid pill. That's my theory anyway. My body did adjust after a week and I started to taper after another week.  --V

Thanks v.... I feel that never really happened for me..... One woman on k when she switched to liquid said it felt exactly like a cold turkey..... and I've seen some people in their signature on k state they switched back to pills after a couple of months...very few I've seen choose this method..... Its so strange..... I'm trying my hardest to try everything...

i wonder if u switch back  to pills if the same thing will happen ....in the sense that the brain will respond better if that's the case.... That's what I'm really trying to find out from the few I've asked....

 

Very much appreciated... Thank you....

No problem. I'm finding I'm able to switch back and forth without much problem now. When I get down a couple of mg, I hold and use dry pills rather than liquid. K seems to be a different animal for many. It must be the properties of K.  --V

[[Pl...]]

Anyone here who has done a long hold on diazepam and then updosed anyway?  Wonder how that has gone for you.  How high did you know to updose?  Did you stabalize?  Did it proove to not make sx any better?  Then what?  Keep holding?

 

Thanks

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie. I updose after a 6 month hold when switching to liquid as I noticed an uptick in minor sxs. It did take care of the minor sxs and I started to taper about 2 weeks later. Hope that helps a little.  --V

 

Thanks Valley!

Looks like you went up .5.  Is that right.  So you were stable prior, but got the sx when crossing over to liquid and did the .5 updose.  No trouble continuing your taper it looks like.  Thanks much.

 

Sharkie

Yes. That's exactly what happened.  --V

 

Hi V- I was looking to switch back to pills as my sxs increased very much so with the liquid that I've been doing for six months... I saw you too experienced  issues though minor.... I've been asking a few people their experience with this  including the k people... I see many of them have had to switch back to pills....

 

It seems you have acquired much info on your propaganda list on different experiences with long holds but have you seen this alot with pills to liquid especially with k...I'm putting my feelers out everywhere just to get some sort of idea....really really struggling too long....

 

I'm never quite sure where to post as I don't want to delineate from the topic of the thread so I apologize if this wasnt the place to do it... I just saw this and figured I would ask as I value your opinion too.... Many thanks....

Hi Please. It's a valid question. I would think there may be a slight uptick in sxs regardless of the benzo just due to the fact that the benzo is already broken down and metabolised faster than a solid pill. That's my theory anyway. My body did adjust after a week and I started to taper after another week.  --V

Thanks v.... I feel that never really happened for me..... One woman on k when she switched to liquid said it felt exactly like a cold turkey..... and I've seen some people in their signature on k state they switched back to pills after a couple of months...very few I've seen choose this method..... Its so strange..... I'm trying my hardest to try everything...

i wonder if u switch back  to pills if the same thing will happen ....in the sense that the brain will respond better if that's the case.... That's what I'm really trying to find out from the few I've asked....

 

Very much appreciated... Thank you....

No problem. I'm finding I'm able to switch back and forth without much problem now. When I get down a couple of mg, I hold and use dry pills rather than liquid. K seems to be a different animal for many. It must be the properties of K.  --V

 

Yes... Those are my thoughts, too....I appreciate you allowing me to bounce my thoughts off you and you sharing your experience as well.... It is very helpful....

[[fi...]]

Anyone here who has done a long hold on diazepam and then updosed anyway?  Wonder how that has gone for you.  How high did you know to updose?  Did you stabalize?  Did it proove to not make sx any better?  Then what?  Keep holding?

 

Thanks

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie. I updose after a 6 month hold when switching to liquid as I noticed an uptick in minor sxs. It did take care of the minor sxs and I started to taper about 2 weeks later. Hope that helps a little.  --V

 

Thanks Valley!

Looks like you went up .5.  Is that right.  So you were stable prior, but got the sx when crossing over to liquid and did the .5 updose.  No trouble continuing your taper it looks like.  Thanks much.

 

Sharkie

Yes. That's exactly what happened.  --V

 

Hi V- I was looking to switch back to pills as my sxs increased very much so with the liquid that I've been doing for six months... I saw you too experienced  issues though minor.... I've been asking a few people their experience with this  including the k people... I see many of them have had to switch back to pills....

 

It seems you have acquired much info on your propaganda list on different experiences with long holds but have you seen this alot with pills to liquid especially with k...I'm putting my feelers out everywhere just to get some sort of idea....really really struggling too long....

 

I'm never quite sure where to post as I don't want to delineate from the topic of the thread so I apologize if this wasnt the place to do it... I just saw this and figured I would ask as I value your opinion too.... Many thanks....

Hi Please. It's a valid question. I would think there may be a slight uptick in sxs regardless of the benzo just due to the fact that the benzo is already broken down and metabolised faster than a solid pill. That's my theory anyway. My body did adjust after a week and I started to taper after another week.  --V

 

Valleyum - thanks for this info - I'm about to cross over .5mg  of my daily dose to Liquid RX Valium - I too have heard that it feels like a cut.  I already updosed .5 MG on October 1 - I don't really want to updose again if I can avoid it - I'm planning a daily micro taper with lots of holds as needed and slow as a turtle - bc I already feel like I'm kindled - Should I just go to the liquid and hold for a good while to see how I respond? and if its bad consider an updose then? Or what would you do based on my signature history?? 

[[He...]]

MIYU,

You are still struggling. I am feeling badly for you for that. But hang in and take one day at a time. You never know when Windows will open up. It happened for me out of the blue when I thought it would never happen. But it did! And it will happen for you too when you least expect it.  Watching series on TV is what I used to do too. I have netflix  so I binge watch old series a lot! When I can't sleep in the middle of the night, I put on the shows I record  during the day, and watch them in the middle of the night.

Now I am starting to make macrame plant hangers again. I used to do a lot of that . Now I am making them for gifts. It passes the time and distracts me when I am feeling crappy.

 

Sending prayers and good thoughts your way. Hope your big window happens real soon!

 

  Heath

[[Va...]]

Anyone here who has done a long hold on diazepam and then updosed anyway?  Wonder how that has gone for you.  How high did you know to updose?  Did you stabalize?  Did it proove to not make sx any better?  Then what?  Keep holding?

 

Thanks

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie. I updose after a 6 month hold when switching to liquid as I noticed an uptick in minor sxs. It did take care of the minor sxs and I started to taper about 2 weeks later. Hope that helps a little.  --V

 

Thanks Valley!

Looks like you went up .5.  Is that right.  So you were stable prior, but got the sx when crossing over to liquid and did the .5 updose.  No trouble continuing your taper it looks like.  Thanks much.

 

Sharkie

Yes. That's exactly what happened.  --V

 

Hi V- I was looking to switch back to pills as my sxs increased very much so with the liquid that I've been doing for six months... I saw you too experienced  issues though minor.... I've been asking a few people their experience with this  including the k people... I see many of them have had to switch back to pills....

 

It seems you have acquired much info on your propaganda list on different experiences with long holds but have you seen this alot with pills to liquid especially with k...I'm putting my feelers out everywhere just to get some sort of idea....really really struggling too long....

 

I'm never quite sure where to post as I don't want to delineate from the topic of the thread so I apologize if this wasnt the place to do it... I just saw this and figured I would ask as I value your opinion too.... Many thanks....

Hi Please. It's a valid question. I would think there may be a slight uptick in sxs regardless of the benzo just due to the fact that the benzo is already broken down and metabolised faster than a solid pill. That's my theory anyway. My body did adjust after a week and I started to taper after another week.  --V

 

Valleyum - thanks for this info - I'm about to cross over .5mg  of my daily dose to Liquid RX Valium - I too have heard that it feels like a cut.  I already updosed .5 MG on October 1 - I don't really want to updose again if I can avoid it - I'm planning a daily micro taper with lots of holds as needed and slow as a turtle - bc I already feel like I'm kindled - Should I just go to the liquid and hold for a good while to see how I respond? and if its bad consider an updose then? Or what would you do based on my signature history??

Hi fight. I switched to liquid and waited a few days to see if any sxs would appear. I noticed some anxiety after a few days and did the updose as a precaution that it wouldn't escalate any further. Some switch to liquid without any issues so if you can do it without updosing, all the better IMO.  --V

[[be...]]

Hi Fight, when I switched over to lig, I felt bad not horrible but knew it could get out of hand so I tried for about a week, and knew that I would have to stop and do a very slight up dose, then held for 2 weeks, and was able to restart without any problems, and it has been going well, really well. Best to you. The "TURTLE."

[[ga...]]

Begood, I would like to say that I have never seen a Turtle with such cute shoes!

[[...]]

MIYU,

You are still struggling. I am feeling badly for you for that. But hang in and take one day at a time. You never know when Windows will open up. It happened for me out of the blue when I thought it would never happen. But it did! And it will happen for you too when you least expect it.  Watching series on TV is what I used to do too. I have netflix  so I binge watch old series a lot! When I can't sleep in the middle of the night, I put on the shows I record  during the day, and watch them in the middle of the night.

Now I am starting to make macrame plant hangers again. I used to do a lot of that . Now I am making them for gifts. It passes the time and distracts me when I am feeling crappy.

 

Sending prayers and good thoughts your way. Hope your big window happens real soon!

 

  Heath

Thanks Heath    today was  tad easier , but not great still, I managed a short walk. It's so hard when all my friends are busy doing things , like celebrating a birthday today , third year in a row I couldn't be there. It'll all  come back one day I know.

I was a professional designer /seamstress among other things before all this. I w always doing creative things, I have no creative incentive at all at the moment , wish I did. Maybe I'll look for something simple I can do , maybe knitting. Christmas coming up, I thought about making candles but not sure I'm up to it yet.

Maybe I'll hold through the holidays and see how that goes..... Time will tell . At least I'm not fretting so much about holding at the moment anyway. 

[[He...]]

Good idea, to hold through the holidays Miyu. That's exactly what I am doing. January 3 is the day I  re-evaluate, see how I feel, and decide if I will continue to hold or make a tiny micro cut and see what happens.  It will be almost a five month hold.  I'm not doing anything  until then. I think  holding will be the right thing for me.

 

I too like to do creative things. Iam a retired kindergarten teacher. Love doing crafty art projects with the kids. Absolutely loved my job!

 

I hope  to return to substitute teaching in kindergarten as soon as I am stable or even off this  benzo entirely.

 

I hope you find what works for you but glad you are holding on.

 

Have a good night, peace!

 

 

Heath

[[be...]]

Begood, I would like to say that I have never seen a Turtle with such cute shoes!

Yep Gard I had to step up my game, so I thought Wow I love these heels, makes me think of when I was on my game .

[[Va...]]

Hi all! If you haven't read this thread yet, it will be well worth your while to do so. It's a success story from one of the buddies from this thread.  --V

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=168411.0

[[ga...]]

 

I too like to do creative things. Iam a retired kindergarten teacher. Love doing crafty art projects with the kids. Absolutely loved my job!

 

I hope  to return to substitute teaching in kindergarten as soon as I am stable or even off this  benzo entirely.

 

 

Heath

 

Me, too, Heath! Would love to return to teaching, even to sub.

It will happen for us some day!

 

Gard

[[ga...]]

Hi all! If you haven't read this thread yet, it will be well worth your while to do so. It's a success story from one of the buddies from this thread.  --V

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=168411.0

 

Thanks for posting that, V!

If y'all look back, Hiking was one of our original members on Long Hold. What an inspiration!

 

Gard

[[...]]

During a hold, did any of you get worse before you got better? I just started holding around a week ago and have started to feel a lot worse the last few days.  Horrible, a nightmare. Thanks for any help.

[[Va...]]

During a hold, did any of you get worse before you got better? I just started holding around a week ago and have started to feel a lot worse the last few days.  Horrible, a nightmare. Thanks for any help.

Yes, yes, and yes. I got a lot worse before I got better. The first 3 cuts I stabilized to 100% but the last one sent me over the edge. I kept waiting and waiting for the sxs to decrease but was shocked that after 3 weeks they continued to escalate. That lasted up to 6 weeks and then I finally had a window. I kept holding to get back to my baseline but it took quite a while. Sorry you feel worse.  --V

[[He...]]

Hi AF1,  in regard to your worse wdfx during the beginning of your hold,

 

Oh yes! It wasn't until the 6th week of my hold that I  started to feel better. Up until then it was a rollercoaster of a nightmare. I even got new bad side wdfx during the first 6 weeks of my hold that I never experienced before.

But about two months into my hold is when I  really started to feel better, with more Windows and less waves. And it's getting better and better.

 

I attribute the getting worse to the fact that healing is not linear. And I was really in a bad spot when I started my hold because I had done a really aggressive taper and my wdfx had caught up with me. So my brain had lots of healing and adjusting to do.

 

So hang in there. IMO the worse wdfx you are experiencng could certainly be from the non linear healing that happens with benzo withdrawal.

 

Wishing you the very best and an improvement in those wdfx  real soon!

 

Heath

[[...]]

Thanks so much Heathcliff and Valley Um. Encouraging!

[[...]]

Another question, this one I'm really on the fence about.  I'm at .5mg Ativan twice a day-you can look at my signature and see how fast I came down.  I'm really miserable and considering going up to .5mg three times a day and holding there for a while.  I've heard bad things about going back up, but a few people have said it helped.  I was fairly comfortable at 1.5mg a day but it was probably over a month ago.