The Long Hold Support Group

[[...]]

Welcome blue pill, sharkie and fight

This is a really great group , glad you are here. I am so glad I found this group , the good people here have helped me so much to understand listening to my body and that its OK not to rush , in fact it's much better to go slow, I am starting to accept that now.

Holding is really hard and takes a big adjustment to accept , it has in my case anyway , but I am learning to trust the process and allow my body some time to catch up with the cutbacks thanks to being here.

 

Valley and Heath :angel:      Thank you for your explanations about brain and nervous system, and every other system ! , that helps. 

Yesterday was a really difficult day , today I feel very delicate but not quite as bad. I had this weird thing that used to happen on the K and X , when I took my dose I would feel a rush up my spine , in the nerves as the Drug entered my blood stream. I guess it must be the drug doing its thing with the nervous system, I think my nerves were really firing big time yesterday and this was happening....

 

[[fi...]]

thank you Miyu!

[[ga...]]

Y'all would not believe the wacky thing I survived on Sunday. I decided I needed groceries and my daughter was working two 10-hour sifts and then back to school on Monday. So it was shop or starve. I bravely went to the store. I have been to this store and back a gazillion time. It's only 5 minutes away. About a year ago they put in new roundabouts making the route a little different, but I had gone through them many times, too. For some reason, on the way home, I thought I had passed the underpass and it was time to take the branch off the roundabout to the right. Wrong. I branched right alright, right onto the new ramp to the freeway. Aaaaaagh! I just about had a heart attack. Luckily it was Sunday and there was almost no traffic. And I immediately exited...right onto the newly built set of roundabouts at the new exit ramp. I was stumped. Where was I? Well, I knew I had to get under the highway, so I went left and left and found myself back in my neighborhood and still alive. Phew! I think this did not help me with my freeway-phobia one bit. I did get food for my efforts, though.

 

Maybe that's why I've been jittery this week. Ya think?

 

Gard (survivor of the most ridiculous things)

So how was Mexico after Gard  :laugh:   Glad your okay and survived yet another Benzo related misdemeanour I have LOTS of them and I'm housebound!  back a 18months ago I didn't know where I was when I reached the end of my road, now its the end of my hallway 

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

Actually, I was heading for Canada! I am not completely housebound. I can drive around in my neighborhood on many days. Or so I thought! Maybe I should stick with the end of my hallway, too. Except for the running out of food part. No food at the end of the hallway.

 

Gard

[[ga...]]

Hello to all the Newbies whose names I cannot type out right now. Oh wait, I'll copy them from Miyu!

 

blue pill, shark and fight

 

Gard

[[Le...]]

Hello to all the Newbies whose names I cannot type out right now. Oh wait, I'll copy them from Miyu!

 

blue pill, shark and fight

 

Gard

Blue, Sharkie, Fight... good group of people here. They will be better able to support you as you hold.

 

Left

 

[[bl...]]

Hi All:

I wanted to mention that the one supplement that my benzo-wise dr suggested--that I have found helpful--is called L-Theanine--It has a slight calming effect and works on naturally calming nervous system. All other supplements have just created issues but I have found this one calms the awful physical s/x a bit. Just a thought.

Blue

[[an...]]

Hi Valley, just wanted to run something by you, I will soon be at 1.10mg and when I started I had been using a 2mg Valium, and 200cc of h20 and the vodka, 1cc, works well for me, well when I get to 1mg Valium don't I decrease my water to 100cc and start from there, I know the numbers, but just want someone to validate I am going to be doing this right. The Girlz have been wondering where you are.

 

Hi BeGood,

 

Dissolving 2 mg in 200 mL is 0.01 mg/mL

Dissolving 1 mg in 100 mL is also 0.01 mg/mL

 

You got it!!  Hope you are doing well. 

 

Anne 

[[be...]]

Hi Valley, just wanted to run something by you, I will soon be at 1.10mg and when I started I had been using a 2mg Valium, and 200cc of h20 and the vodka, 1cc, works well for me, well when I get to 1mg Valium don't I decrease my water to 100cc and start from there, I know the numbers, but just want someone to validate I am going to be doing this right. The Girlz have been wondering where you are.

 

Hi BeGood,

 

Dissolving 2 mg in 200 mL is 0.01 mg/mL

Dissolving 1 mg in 100 mL is also 0.01 mg/mL

 

You got it!!  Hope you are doing well. 

 

Anne 

Thanks Anne, I thought I was right but just wanted to be sure, of course I probably will adjust dose a bit lower, but we will see, I am doing well, really well, it is like I am waking up, little blips at times, but I can handle it . How are you doing, have things leveled out for you.?   

[[an...]]

Hi Valley, just wanted to run something by you, I will soon be at 1.10mg and when I started I had been using a 2mg Valium, and 200cc of h20 and the vodka, 1cc, works well for me, well when I get to 1mg Valium don't I decrease my water to 100cc and start from there, I know the numbers, but just want someone to validate I am going to be doing this right. The Girlz have been wondering where you are.

 

Hi BeGood,

 

Dissolving 2 mg in 200 mL is 0.01 mg/mL

Dissolving 1 mg in 100 mL is also 0.01 mg/mL

 

You got it!!  Hope you are doing well. 

 

Anne 

Thanks Anne, I thought I was right but just wanted to be sure, of course I probably will adjust dose a bit lower, but we will see, I am doing well, really well, it is like I am waking up, little blips at times, but I can handle it . How are you doing, have things leveled out for you.? 

 

Hi Begood,

 

I am so happy to hear you are doing well.  How wonderful.  Once you get down to lower dosages, you can increase the volume of water so that you are not measuring out such tiny amounts.  I am down to about 4 drops a day, so I am going to increase my volume soon so that it is easier to measure out. 

 

Things are a bit crazy here.  I have had an up tick in symptoms over the last few days. Mainly high BP.  I went to my doctor yesterday, and we decided we would increase one of my BP meds to see if it helps.  After looking over my log, I see that I have decreased my Ativan dose by only 4.4% since October 5.  That really is not much, but maybe I am feeling that.  I know that I was very stressed out on Sunday night because I had a dentist appt. on Monday and a doctor's appointment on Tuesday.  Then, I remember walking into my basement on Sunday evening, and there was water everywhere--the hot water tanks had to be replaced.  Then on Monday night, we had a lot of water leak from a pipe under our kitchen sink.  In addition to all of that, I have been so busy at school.  Maybe that is why my BP is so high--I don't know.  My biggest fear is stroke.  My BP has never remained this high for such a long time period.  I will increase my BP med as the doctor suggested, but at this point I am not sure if things are getting worse with the BP or if it is due to the Ativan.  Most likely, if it does not get better in the next few days, I will take a bit more Ativan to see if it helps.  If it does, I know it is the drug.  We shall see.

 

Sorry to go on and on, but you did ask.  Thank you for listening. 

 

((HUGS))) Anne

[[be...]]

Hi Valley, just wanted to run something by you, I will soon be at 1.10mg and when I started I had been using a 2mg Valium, and 200cc of h20 and the vodka, 1cc, works well for me, well when I get to 1mg Valium don't I decrease my water to 100cc and start from there, I know the numbers, but just want someone to validate I am going to be doing this right. The Girlz have been wondering where you are.

 

Hi BeGood,

 

Dissolving 2 mg in 200 mL is 0.01 mg/mL

Dissolving 1 mg in 100 mL is also 0.01 mg/mL

 

You got it!!  Hope you are doing well. 

 

Anne 

Thanks Anne, I thought I was right but just wanted to be sure, of course I probably will adjust dose a bit lower, but we will see, I am doing well, really well, it is like I am waking up, little blips at times, but I can handle it . How are you doing, have things leveled out for you.? 

 

Hi Begood,

 

I am so happy to hear you are doing well.  How wonderful.  Once you get down to lower dosages, you can increase the volume of water so that you are not measuring out such tiny amounts.  I am down to about 4 drops a day, so I am going to increase my volume soon so that it is easier to measure out. 

 

Things are a bit crazy here.  I have had an up tick in symptoms over the last few days. Mainly high BP.  I went to my doctor yesterday, and we decided we would increase one of my BP meds to see if it helps.  After looking over my log, I see that I have decreased my Ativan dose by only 4.4% since October 5.  That really is not much, but maybe I am feeling that.  I know that I was very stressed out on Sunday night because I had a dentist appt. on Monday and a doctor's appointment on Tuesday.  Then, I remember walking into my basement on Sunday evening, and there was water everywhere--the hot water tanks had to be replaced.  Then on Monday night, we had a lot of water leak from a pipe under our kitchen sink.  In addition to all of that, I have been so busy at school.  Maybe that is why my BP is so high--I don't know.  My biggest fear is stroke.  My BP has never remained this high for such a long time period.  I will increase my BP med as the doctor suggested, but at this point I am not sure if things are getting worse with the BP or if it is due to the Ativan.  Most likely, if it does not get better in the next few days, I will take a bit more Ativan to see if it helps.  If it does, I know it is the drug.  We shall see.

 

Sorry to go on and on, but you did ask.  Thank you for listening. 

 

((HUGS))) Anne

Gosh you have a lot of stressful things going on, and I trust that you will figure out what you should do, hopefully when you can take a deep breath from all the stuff going on you will be more relaxed. I will be thinking of you. Hey never worry about speaking up you give so much support here, that you also need to have someone listen, it is the way of the world. Think nothing of it, I hope it will help you to release some of the stress.  

[[ga...]]

Hi Valley, just wanted to run something by you, I will soon be at 1.10mg and when I started I had been using a 2mg Valium, and 200cc of h20 and the vodka, 1cc, works well for me, well when I get to 1mg Valium don't I decrease my water to 100cc and start from there, I know the numbers, but just want someone to validate I am going to be doing this right. The Girlz have been wondering where you are.

 

Hi BeGood,

 

Dissolving 2 mg in 200 mL is 0.01 mg/mL

Dissolving 1 mg in 100 mL is also 0.01 mg/mL

 

You got it!!  Hope you are doing well. 

 

Anne 

Thanks Anne, I thought I was right but just wanted to be sure, of course I probably will adjust dose a bit lower, but we will see, I am doing well, really well, it is like I am waking up, little blips at times, but I can handle it . How are you doing, have things leveled out for you.? 

 

Hi Begood,

 

I am so happy to hear you are doing well.  How wonderful.  Once you get down to lower dosages, you can increase the volume of water so that you are not measuring out such tiny amounts.  I am down to about 4 drops a day, so I am going to increase my volume soon so that it is easier to measure out. 

 

Things are a bit crazy here.  I have had an up tick in symptoms over the last few days. Mainly high BP.  I went to my doctor yesterday, and we decided we would increase one of my BP meds to see if it helps.  After looking over my log, I see that I have decreased my Ativan dose by only 4.4% since October 5.  That really is not much, but maybe I am feeling that.  I know that I was very stressed out on Sunday night because I had a dentist appt. on Monday and a doctor's appointment on Tuesday.  Then, I remember walking into my basement on Sunday evening, and there was water everywhere--the hot water tanks had to be replaced.  Then on Monday night, we had a lot of water leak from a pipe under our kitchen sink.  In addition to all of that, I have been so busy at school.  Maybe that is why my BP is so high--I don't know.  My biggest fear is stroke.  My BP has never remained this high for such a long time period.  I will increase my BP med as the doctor suggested, but at this point I am not sure if things are getting worse with the BP or if it is due to the Ativan.  Most likely, if it does not get better in the next few days, I will take a bit more Ativan to see if it helps.  If it does, I know it is the drug.  We shall see.

 

Sorry to go on and on, but you did ask.  Thank you for listening. 

 

((HUGS))) Anne

 

My goodness, Anne! You are under so much stress. I sure hope things settle down for you soon.

 

Hugs,

Gard

[[ga...]]

Hi All:

I wanted to mention that the one supplement that my benzo-wise dr suggested--that I have found helpful--is called L-Theanine--It has a slight calming effect and works on naturally calming nervous system. All other supplements have just created issues but I have found this one calms the awful physical s/x a bit. Just a thought.

Blue

 

I've heard of that. How do you take it?

 

Gard

[[He...]]

I heard of L-Theanine too. It is an ingredient in a sleep supplement I purchased at Trader Joe's market. (USA). but i dont  use that supplement anymore.

 

So I purchased L- Theanine separately and took it along with melatonin to hopefully help me sleep.

 

But the L-Theanine  didn't  help me sleep. It didn't do anything at all actually. Maybe I should have tried taking a larger dose. I was taking 100 mg at bed time.

 

But I just stopped using it.

I find that just  3mg of melatonin is all I need most of the time to help me sleep.

 

But I  have not heard anything negative about L Theanine.

 

It just didn't help me. If it works for you.. great!

 

Heath

[[He...]]

Just popping in to say, I am still doing well.

Getting minor waves in late afternoon of unbalance and slight dizziness.

But I can handle it!

Holding is now my friend!

 

Hope everyone will be doing better real soon.

And welcome again to all our new Long hold support group buddie friends

 

Heath

[[sh...]]

Anyone here who has done a long hold on diazepam and then updosed anyway?  Wonder how that has gone for you.  How high did you know to updose?  Did you stabalize?  Did it proove to not make sx any better?  Then what?  Keep holding?

 

Thanks

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie. I updose after a 6 month hold when switching to liquid as I noticed an uptick in minor sxs. It did take care of the minor sxs and I started to taper about 2 weeks later. Hope that helps a little.  --V

 

Thanks Valley!

Looks like you went up .5.  Is that right.  So you were stable prior, but got the sx when crossing over to liquid and did the .5 updose.  No trouble continuing your taper it looks like.  Thanks much.

 

Sharkie

[[bl...]]

Hi All:

I don't take the L-Theanine before bed. Benzo-wise dr suggested taking it in early part of day--which I do---125mgx2 after breakfast---It's a nerve relaxer so it can help with sleep but I don't think it's necessarily going to knock anybody out--esp since we are all used to much stronger meds for insomnia. For me, the L-Theanine simply seems to calm my nerves a bit throughout the day. I have not been having a hard time sleeping but I am still at 6.5 valium so that may be why as much as anything. But the supp does seem to help with some of the nerve issues. It's not a miracle, but it has no negatives for me and it seems to help a bit.

[[an...]]

Hi Gard and Begood,

 

Thank you.  Yes, I think the stress probably brought on the high blood pressure.  Thank you for listening.  It is appreciated. 

 

I hope you both have a great evening.

 

((HUGS))

Anne

[[...]]

Take care Anne , I don't know how your survive with all that going on ! 

[[Va...]]

Anyone here who has done a long hold on diazepam and then updosed anyway?  Wonder how that has gone for you.  How high did you know to updose?  Did you stabalize?  Did it proove to not make sx any better?  Then what?  Keep holding?

 

Thanks

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie. I updose after a 6 month hold when switching to liquid as I noticed an uptick in minor sxs. It did take care of the minor sxs and I started to taper about 2 weeks later. Hope that helps a little.  --V

 

Thanks Valley!

Looks like you went up .5.  Is that right.  So you were stable prior, but got the sx when crossing over to liquid and did the .5 updose.  No trouble continuing your taper it looks like.  Thanks much.

 

Sharkie

Yes. That's exactly what happened.  --V

[[Va...]]

Hi Valley, just wanted to run something by you, I will soon be at 1.10mg and when I started I had been using a 2mg Valium, and 200cc of h20 and the vodka, 1cc, works well for me, well when I get to 1mg Valium don't I decrease my water to 100cc and start from there, I know the numbers, but just want someone to validate I am going to be doing this right. The Girlz have been wondering where you are.

 

Hi BeGood,

 

Dissolving 2 mg in 200 mL is 0.01 mg/mL

Dissolving 1 mg in 100 mL is also 0.01 mg/mL

 

You got it!!  Hope you are doing well. 

 

Anne 

Thanks Anne, I thought I was right but just wanted to be sure, of course I probably will adjust dose a bit lower, but we will see, I am doing well, really well, it is like I am waking up, little blips at times, but I can handle it . How are you doing, have things leveled out for you.? 

 

Hi Begood,

 

I am so happy to hear you are doing well.  How wonderful.  Once you get down to lower dosages, you can increase the volume of water so that you are not measuring out such tiny amounts.  I am down to about 4 drops a day, so I am going to increase my volume soon so that it is easier to measure out. 

 

Things are a bit crazy here.  I have had an up tick in symptoms over the last few days. Mainly high BP.  I went to my doctor yesterday, and we decided we would increase one of my BP meds to see if it helps.  After looking over my log, I see that I have decreased my Ativan dose by only 4.4% since October 5.  That really is not much, but maybe I am feeling that.  I know that I was very stressed out on Sunday night because I had a dentist appt. on Monday and a doctor's appointment on Tuesday.  Then, I remember walking into my basement on Sunday evening, and there was water everywhere--the hot water tanks had to be replaced.  Then on Monday night, we had a lot of water leak from a pipe under our kitchen sink.  In addition to all of that, I have been so busy at school.  Maybe that is why my BP is so high--I don't know.  My biggest fear is stroke.  My BP has never remained this high for such a long time period.  I will increase my BP med as the doctor suggested, but at this point I am not sure if things are getting worse with the BP or if it is due to the Ativan.  Most likely, if it does not get better in the next few days, I will take a bit more Ativan to see if it helps.  If it does, I know it is the drug.  We shall see.

 

Sorry to go on and on, but you did ask.  Thank you for listening. 

 

((HUGS))) Anne

I think my blood pressure would be high too Anne with all you have on your plate. Hope it normalises soon! --V

[[an...]]

Thank you for your support MiYu and Val.  I think it was the anticipation of going to the dentist and doctor appointments that started this.  And since my BP was high at the doctor's office, I am now worried about it.  Even the doctor is concerned which is why he suggested upping the dosage of one of my BP meds. It is always something.

 

I hope everyone else is doing well this morning.

 

Anne  :smitten:

[[li...]]

Hello all.  Started my daily microtaper again a week ago removing .001 mg a day from the 1.21 mg klonopin I'm on.  I'm not sure that the long hold did anything except not let me get way worse.  I made the mistake of then going down to three doses a day and then back up to four doses a day and tried a tiny updose because everything made me psychotic/frantic/out of my mind.  I would love to hear from people who have gotten better on the way down because that's never happened for me and many say I won't get better until I'm off, but I feel so "off" with new physical symptoms now just taking off this tiny amount that I need the scientific explanation of why a long slow taper makes you heal.  I was told that receptors are being nudged to upregulate while you taper, but is that BS?  Bless you all!

[[Va...]]

Hello all.  Started my daily microtaper again a week ago removing .001 mg a day from the 1.21 mg klonopin I'm on.  I'm not sure that the long hold did anything except not let me get way worse.  I made the mistake of then going down to three doses a day and then back up to four doses a day and tried a tiny updose because everything made me psychotic/frantic/out of my mind.  I would love to hear from people who have gotten better on the way down because that's never happened for me and many say I won't get better until I'm off, but I feel so "off" with new physical symptoms now just taking off this tiny amount that I need the scientific explanation of why a long slow taper makes you heal.  I was told that receptors are being nudged to upregulate while you taper, but is that BS?  Bless you all!

Hi liza!  I hope there are some who can answer this for you. All I have is SG's theory (I use SG as he tapered K also).

 

My belief is the faster you taper the longer it will take to get this behind you.  How could this be?  Glutamate damage.  If you go slow, you can avoid it.  If you go fast, it tacks on a lot of time.

 

Before we begin tapering we are already damaged.  We have down regulated GABA receptors - basically we lack them and the brain cannot function without the assistance of the drug.  Slow tapering creates a slight drug shortage and a rise in the excitement level in the brain.  The brain senses this and acts to calm itself down by adding back receptors.  This is a very good thing - it is healing.  But if we go too fast we become too short of benzo, and this creates too much excitement.  At some point the brain cannot handle it and goes kind of haywire, resulting in nasty, long-lasting damage involving the glutamate system.  This is really the culprit.

 

So, to me, the goal of a taper is to stay out of glutamate damage.  Go slow enough to keep symptoms at bay - near or at zero.  If you don't you'll start accumulating glutamate damage.  You'll still heal eventually, but it is an additional, avoidable brain injury that will take much longer to heal.  And it will be a lousy, disabling experience for god knows how long - months or even years.

 

This is my understanding of the problem.

 

Hope you feel better on the way down!  --V

[[li...]]

Thanks Valley--even at this pace I'm already feeling the excitatory glutamate so I pray my receptors know how to heal after everything they've been through.  I hope you are doing well!

[[Pl...]]

Hello all.  Started my daily microtaper again a week ago removing .001 mg a day from the 1.21 mg klonopin I'm on.  I'm not sure that the long hold did anything except not let me get way worse.  I made the mistake of then going down to three doses a day and then back up to four doses a day and tried a tiny updose because everything made me psychotic/frantic/out of my mind.  I would love to hear from people who have gotten better on the way down because that's never happened for me and many say I won't get better until I'm off, but I feel so "off" with new physical symptoms now just taking off this tiny amount that I need the scientific explanation of why a long slow taper makes you heal.  I was told that receptors are being nudged to upregulate while you taper, but is that BS?  Bless you all!

 

Hi Liza....i was really thinking about you lately and wondering where you were..... I pray holding on.....

 

i hope you dont mind me asking and excuse me for being so stupid but is that .1 ml on a 1 ml syringe?  I've been taking out about 3 to 4 lines a day which is almost the  halfway point to .1 on a 1 ml syringe..... I get confused with zeros and decimal points.....

 

Thank you for looking at my stupid question.... I need a lesson in math but I can barely think