The Long Hold Support Group

[[Tr...]]

Oh and Mary I too come from a long line of alcoholics, and Rich's family too. Rich is a recovering alcoholic, 20 yrs sober for him. I only hope my son will turn out like his father and stop drinking, but hope is all I have that and prayer. 😢

 

Did Rich go to AA or quit on his own?

He quit on his own no AA. He hot his rock bottom one day and he was done. I almost left him, I was very close. The first 17 yrs of my marriage he was a drinker. His poison was beer not the hard stuff but he was drunk everyday. He was a functioning alcoholic. My son is a vodka drinker and barely functions. Misses a lot of work. Has lost jobs.. 😭

My dad quit on his own too, but he still had a lot of alcoholic behavior for awhile.  He might have learned some things from AA that would have made his road easier.  He spent the last 20 years of his life trying to make it up to me and my sister.  I am so grateful he sobered up for that time. 

There are lots of success stories, me and DD for 2  :smitten:

Thankfully, Rich did really well. He was physically sick for awhile but after that he felt great. Here's always been a very easy going guy. Even drunk he wasn't difficult. He was however absent from our lives. He was checked out after work. He would drink after work on the couch until he passed out. This caused a strain on our relationship and his time with the kids growing up. He always went to their sports events and my daughter's cheerleading and dance competitions but otherwise absent. He was mostly the embarrassing drunk in public. I would be embarassed at family events bc he would constantly repeat himself and everyone knew.. it was hard for me.. And now my son🤦‍♀️

[[Tr...]]

Hey you ladies, I'll let you all get back to the taper talk. Thanks for always letting me share the hard shit in my life besides my taper which is gonna be happening in just 12 more days then hold over and back at it 😳

Dr tomorrow and oh how I dread that! Every three months 🤦‍♀️

[[Tr...]]

Hey V, if you read in the morning I was thinking that here in the US if you go to the hospital the first thing they do is take your history and list of medications that you're on. I would think they would do the same there. I also would think if they didn't give you what you were on you could slap a law suit on them. Also, if they didn't give you your meds they'd be forcing you into a cold turkey and I highly doubt they'd want that situation on top of whatever you might be in for. I completely understand your fears around this medication, I fight my own fears with it. They say 90 % of what we worry about never comes to pass so try to remember that our worst fears don't tend to materialize. I also want to add that that you could make a list that you could read like you did with the propaganda. You could write down for instance a plan.

Example.

If I go into the hospital I will..

 

I will always have my pills with me in my purse.

I will have my Drs letter with me.

I have the right to leave the hospital if they don't give me my meds.

I can call a lawyer

I can ask for psyche to come and talk to me

If it's not emergency surgery I can go over my meds before admission into the hospital

And so on.. you can read your list that eases your fears like the propaganda does.

Just try to remember V that it's highly unlikely that, that will ever happen.

TT ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Hey twinny,

Enjoy your week. Hope you have an enjoyable visit with sis. Don't worry Mary will look after me while your gone 😉😂😂

 

Love you!

LST ❤️

[[Gu...]]

Great advice Trishy and so very true.  I’ve never had a hospital cut me off my prescribed meds even after surgeries.  If you went in on your own free will you can leave your n your own free will.

[[Ol...]]

Very good post Trishy!

[[va...]]

Good morning girls and boys,

 

Alright, you can't even imagine how much all your posts have helped me.

 

Espy I've answered your PM. Thank you. I will stop using the word permanent as I see it can be very triggering. I'm so glad you've come back to the group to encourage us prisoners.

 

Mary very good point with the attorney. My lawyer hardly ever answers emails, she's too busy, three kids, I'll have to find another one and look into this but it sure looks interesting.

 

GP what a good point, if you went into hospital on your own will you can just leave as long as you're not disabled. You were hospitalized several times and you had no problem taking your meds? That's a relief.

 

Trishy what a great post you wrote on writing a list with all the stuff that I can remind myself of when I'm going down the rabbit hole of fear.

 

Olive Kitty, You're still my long holding role model so I have you in my thoughts and I hope I can follow in your footsteps. I don't want to keep my hopes too high because it hurts so badly when what we hoped for doesn't happen.

 

DD I know we're in a similar situation withdrawal wise although I've been holding a bit longer. I really hope we finally stabilize a bit and start tapering together.

 

I have slept very little so please excuse my short post and anyone that I might be forgetting to answer to.

[[va...]]

Trishy I'm glad you're getting such great help from alanon. Who knows, maybe your husband decides to go too and the whole family can learn stuff. I now I'm always recommending youtubers. Sorry if I'm boring you. There's a great one who helps a lot with codependency called Lisa A. Romano. She also talks about dry alcoholics. She has a FB group although it's a bit of a cult I think.

 

It must be so hard to see your son like this and not be able to do something, anything, to fix the situation, and it must be so difficult to accept you can do nothing. I'm sorry we can't do much more for you than give you moral support. I hope your son decides to go to AA like the buddies here said. And if he doesn't, unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it.

 

The psychiatrist has just moved my appointment from next Tuesday to today because he can't next Tuesday, so I'm going with no sleep and he always makes me nervous. This is such fun.

 

I'll go and try to shut up and say "yes yes I see, yes, mmmmhhhmmm". I'm tired of trying to make him understand what bwd feels like. He does know it needs to be tapered extremely slowly. That's why I'm sticking to him for now. When I have more time (or if I ever have more time), I'll hunt for neurologysts to see if I find one who gets it.

 

Bye everyone. Have a decent day.

 

 

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Great advice Trishy and so very true.  I’ve never had a hospital cut me off my prescribed meds even after surgeries.  If you went in on your own free will you can leave your n your own free will.

:smitten:

[[Tr...]]

Very good post Trishy!

[[Tr...]]

Trishy I'm glad you're getting such great help from alanon. Who knows, maybe your husband decides to go too and the whole family can learn stuff. I now I'm always recommending youtubers. Sorry if I'm boring you. There's a great one who helps a lot with codependency called Lisa A. Romano. She also talks about dry alcoholics. She has a FB group although it's a bit of a cult I think.

 

It must be so hard to see your son like this and not be able to do something, anything, to fix the situation, and it must be so difficult to accept you can do nothing. I'm sorry we can't do much more for you than give you moral support. I hope your son decides to go to AA like the buddies here said. And if he doesn't, unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it.

 

The psychiatrist has just moved my appointment from next Tuesday to today because he can't next Tuesday, so I'm going with no sleep and he always makes me nervous. This is such fun.

 

I'll go and try to shut up and say "yes yes I see, yes, mmmmhhhmmm". I'm tired of trying to make him understand what bwd feels like. He does know it needs to be tapered extremely slowly. That's why I'm sticking to him for now. When I have more time (or if I ever have more time), I'll hunt for neurologysts to see if I find one who gets it.

 

Bye everyone. Have a decent day.

Hey V,

I'm a you tuber too so I appreciate the you tube suggestions.

Good luck today with the doc! I just arrived in the parking lot of my Dr. It's that time again, the 3 month visit. I'm nervous to I absolutely hate this appt. But we do what we much to get the poison we need.

I think I'm going to try very hard to learn to surrender. I think that peace can be found in surrender. This sure won't be easy but yesterday at Alanon they recited the serenity prayer and there's truth in in. Give it up to God or as they say let go and let God.. I'll give it a go 🙄🙏😳.. You try with me V 😉

TT ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Can I join? Having an indescribable day. Exhaustion in extremus. Why? Hope to survive this somehow. May God help us all.

[[va...]]

Trishy go get him!! I'm sure you'll handle the visit just fine. This is a great post on letting go, accepting, etc. I'm following what they're teaching you. It works for wd too.

 

Troschetter I'm sorry you're still in this wave. I'm praying that sooner than later you'll get a nice window and you can go out on your bike again. Don't ask if you can join us. We're all together in this like brothers in arms.

[[Tr...]]

Can I join? Having an indescribable day. Exhaustion in extremus. Why? Hope to survive this somehow. May God help us all.

Troch,

Come with.. as V says we're in it together. Today we practice letting go and letting God. Our word of the day is surrender.. Let's put it into practice. 😁.. hope you feel better and remember this too shall pass 🙏

Trish ❤️ aka TT

[[Tr...]]

Trishy go get him!! I'm sure you'll handle the visit just fine. This is a great post on letting go, accepting, etc. I'm following what they're teaching you. It works for wd too.

 

Troschetter I'm sorry you're still in this wave. I'm praying that sooner than later you'll get a nice window and you can go out on your bike again. Don't ask if you can join us. We're all together in this like brothers in arms.

Hey V,

Visit over phew🥵 I always sweat these visits. So all I did was sign another contract for this year. The Dr has me sign one for the benzo. That's fine with me I'll sign whatever he wants as long as he keeps prescribing this poison until I find my way off of this garbage! Until then I put the smile on and comply with whatever Dr wants 😁 I do have to go get routine blood work done, cholesterol and all that other stuff but that's ok too! So don't have to go back until May 4 th yay!! I hope the time passes slowly. I didn't tell him my current dosage and I may never tell him so I can keep building my stash in case the unthinkable should happen. It's like buying insurance for peace of mind.

TT ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Hi, guess what?  Suddenly I felt quite a bit less dead and decided to go outside. Walking  gives too much pain at the moment,  so I went for a 15 minute bike ride. Hard to believe: one hour exhaustion like you wouldn't believe, an hour later gently peddling along on my bike. Grateful I feel more alive after this horrible morning and part of the afternoon. Our prayers have been heard!

Hope you're all doing well.

 

For the record: this doesn't mean I 'm feeling well. Haven't felt well in over a year and a half. But I 'm sure that goes for all of us.

Can't wait for the day I'll feel well again. 

[[es...]]

V, I hope you didn’t think I was admonishing you for expressing your fear of not healing. I didn’t think you were triggering others. I thought you were triggering yourself. I tell myself everyday to not believe those same fears. We all have them. None of us think we can heal. This is way too torturous to be able to feel that gut level certainty that it will end. All we have to hold onto is what others have told us. They said they didn’t believe they would heal, either. Until they did. It is a matter of blind faith. Espy

[[es...]]

Way to go, Trishy. Doctor visits are just another insult to injury. He’s handled for the time being, so you won. Good idea building your stash. Espy

[[Gu...]]

Hi Vali,  yes I had no problems getting my meds when i was hospitalized.  None, in fact they kept pushing them when I said I didn’t feel like I need one.  If it’s prescribed 4 times a day, that’s what you’ll get. 

 

Trishy I love your new acceptance motto.  So much better than worrying right?  You go girl.

[[Me...]]

Good morning, afternoon, evening, tomorrow.  I hope all is well.  I’ve been having a thought the last few days.  Maybe someone can answer.  Is tapering harder than healing symptoms after walking off?    I’ve heard some people say tapering was harder.  I just don’t feel like how can we possibly be healing during a taper.  Maybe I’m not staying in the moment and just “future tripping.” 

 

I’ve tapered daily to 4.77 from 5.  Got some symptoms so I’m holding at 4.77 for another couple weeks and then go down to 4.75. 

Love,

Meems 💗

[[Ma...]]

Good morning, afternoon, evening, tomorrow.  I hope all is well.  I’ve been having a thought the last few days.  Maybe someone can answer.  Is tapering harder than healing symptoms after walking off?    I’ve heard some people say tapering was harder.  I just don’t feel like how can we possibly be healing during a taper.  Maybe I’m not staying in the moment and just “future tripping.” 

 

I’ve tapered daily to 4.77 from 5.  Got some symptoms so I’m holding at 4.77 for another couple weeks and then go down to 4.75. 

Love,

Meems 💗

 

Hey Meems!  That's one of those questions that is really hard to answer.  Going slow , this is just my opinion, gives you a better chance when your taper is over, of having an easier time.  But as all things with benzo's, nothing is guaranteed, but more like stacking the deck in your favor.  I believe you heal when tapering when you are taking your time and giving brain and body time to keep up with taper.

Maybe others will come on too with their opinions.  Mary 💜💜💜

[[Ma...]]

Intend. How are you my friend?  Did your  eyes clear up or continue to bother you?  I still feel like screaming over IA :tickedoff:  I am getting ready to do one of our lovely showers, ugh.

How is Dan and my beautiful Pepper.  Hey, did you go to the movies?  Love ya, Mary 💜💜💜💜

 

 

espy, it's so good to see you posting and sounding so much better.  I know you aren't 💯 % yet, but the difference in you now and 3 months ago , is just amazing.  . I hope I don't find out you're  in the shine Cuz   Love you....your Hillbilly Cousin 💜💜💜💜

 

DDI hope those symptoms go away soon.  They would bother anyone.  You know I love ya, MM.

💜💜💜

[[es...]]

Hmm...I’ll never tell! Espy

[[Ol...]]

Hi Friends!

Well today is my 44th birthday and I have some news. 5 days ago I forgot to take my dose in the morning and didn't remember until that night. I wondered.. should I take it now? Or just skip it and take the next dose tomorrow? Or should I just stop and see what happens? So I decided to do that. I am on day 5 of no Valium.. and I feel pretty much the same. So I guess I walked off (?) (!)

I'm of course monitoring myself very closely. I truly believe that my year and a half hold at 2mg has made walking of at .5 entirely possible. It allowed my body and brain to truly stabilize at the 2mg dose, which is a very small dose in the grand scheme of things. I think the reason 2mg was so hard before was because I was still in w/d from the other 15mg that I had tapered in the previous years.

Entering my 44th year has me reflecting on my 40's in general, they have really sucked! It was just after my 40th birthday that I started tapering the first time. So I'm really hoping that this is the year where things turn around for me. Ever so grateful for all of you LHSG'ers, and I'll keep you updated on how I am doing.

 

Love yous!

[[es...]]

👏👏👏🎉🎊congrats, Olive! Espy