The Long Hold Support Group

[[Tr...]]

Hi everyone,

 

It's quiet here this morning, 

 

Hope your weekend was OK.

 

I slept well last night! First time in weeks. But I learned that a good night is not automatically followed by a good day. So far that's the case anyway. Did go for groceries, but it wasn't easy. The muscles in my left upper leg are becoming more and more painful. Feel like they could tear at any minute,  I do hope the dry needling is going to bring some relief. This pain is really bothering me.

Since the beginning of my taper I' ve had nausea practically every morning. Usually it goes away later in the morning. Anyone else have nausea as an issue?.

 

Hope you slept well. Have a pleasant day.

 

[[St...]]

Hi everyone,

 

It's quiet here this morning, 

 

Hope your weekend was OK.

 

I slept well last night! First time in weeks. But I learned that a good night is not automatically followed by a good day. So far that's the case anyway. Did go for groceries, but it wasn't easy. The muscles in my left upper leg are becoming more and more painful. Feel like they could tare at any minute,  I do hope the dry needling is going to bring some relief. This pain is really bothering me.

Since the beginning of my taper I' ve had nausea practically every morning. Usually it goes away later in the morning. Anyone else have nausea as an issue?.

 

Hope you slept well. Have a pleasant day.

Morning Troch glad you slept well.l have had nausea at times during withdrawal l would generally have it when my IBS is playing up.l generally just let it pass on it's own.

.I really hope the needling helps l think you are going to have to give it time l don't think it will be a cure all however if it eases it down a notch that is a start.

I hope you had a bearable weekend?Stay strong honey.love to you.X

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Trish l am so sorry your son has fallen off the wagon.l would have to agree with everyone here.l must say you are going to struggle with the change however the way things are going something has to change.l also believe you will feel better as well.Be strong honey we do what we must and you can do this.Draw a line in the sand and don't let anyone cross that line not even yourself.love you my lST X

Morning Lady Mary how are you?Are your eyes any better?l am delighted you got on well on Friday and brought poor Tim home 😕.l was wondering why he was falling asleep we don't do sedation before the procedure 🤔😇.l hope you had a good weekend honey.Have to go to see sis tomorrow so won't be on until later in the week.love you my lady Mary HenX

Morning Suzy a majority of alcoholics are masking their pain.p enjoy a drink however l don't need it to enjoy myself.l was a binge drinking when l was younger now l have one or two on occasion.Can't cope with the hangover 😠. love you.X

Morning GP thank you honey no l won't be off by Easter l haven't given myself any goals however it will hopefully be this year fingers crossed.How are you?Has the pain eased?l hope so.love you.X

Morning Janice Intend Gilly Valley Free Meems Esperanza NJ Nova Miyu Bill and everyone here hoping everyone has a withdrawal free day.X

[[va...]]

Hi Stutt. So happy to see you always. You are a blessing to this group.

 

I'm again freaking out with the hospitalization fear and that they would cut me off. They did that to a FB friend when she was hospitalized for her back problems. Then she didn't know she was so dependent on the benzo, the Dr. in hospital forgot to continue her treatment, to her surprise, she went into wd and discovered she was dependent. She phoned her psychiatrist, he said reinstate immediately as this was a life theratening situation, and they didn't reinstate and they told her she was wrong and they sent her to the psych ward, told her they would help her there (all she wanted was her valium back, she went into acute). Instead of that, they gave her no valium in the psych ward. She reinstated only when she got back home and it took her ages to stabilize. So you see these things happen. I woke up very early and was in panic about this. I wish I could taper because due to this fear I hate to be holding, but I fear getting ever worse, although you started tapering from a very unstable place but I don't know if you were as unstable as I am because I'm not in your head nor are you in mine. Sorry Stutt. I know we drain you so much.

[[St...]]

Hi Stutt. So happy to see you always. You are a blessing to this group.

 

I'm again freaking out with the hospitalization fear and that they would cut me off. They did that to a FB friend when she was hospitalized for her back problems. Then she didn't know she was so dependent on the benzo, the Dr. in hospital forgot to continue her treatment, to her surprise, she went into wd and discovered she was dependent. She phoned her psychiatrist, he said reinstate immediately as this was a life theratening situation, and they didn't reinstate and they told her she was wrong and they sent her to the psych ward, told her they would help her there (all she wanted was her valium back, she went into acute). Instead of that, they gave her no valium in the psych ward. She reinstated only when she got back home and it took her ages to stabilize. So you see these things happen. I woke up very early and was in panic about this. I wish I could taper because due to this fear I hate to be holding, but I fear getting ever worse, although you started tapering from a very unstable place but I don't know if you were as unstable as I am because I'm not in your head nor are you in mine. Sorry Stutt. I know we drain you so much.

Awe Janice listen honey where does your FB friend live?l wonder why that happened generally it doesn't.l also believe your daughter could bring your pills in to you.l know you are scared honey however it doesn't happen very often.Take the pills in your purse and you will have them with you even if you go into hospital.l know you will always find someone that will reinforce this fear however you know nothing about that person so please don't take everything they say as gospel.X

[[va...]]

Thank you Stutt. She's from the US and she's an angel. In summer when I was in acute wd or whatever that was, she was always there for me in spite of her being in horrible pain even to tipe. She's very smart and one of the best people I know on the internet. However she was so unlucky. Maybe part of the problem was that she didn't know she had developed this dependency. Now that we know, we would of course do anything possible and we'd make sure this accident doesn't happen. My daughter knows but she's a kid. My mother knows and has a copy of my psych's prescription. A good friend knows and has a letter with my treatment and my psych's telephone. IDK, I guess I just have to leave it in Jesus's hands and let go.

[[St...]]

Thank you Stutt. She's from the US and she's an angel. In summer when I was in acute wd or whatever that was, she was always there for me in spite of her being in horrible pain even to tipe. She's very smart and one of the best people I know on the internet. However she was so unlucky. Maybe part of the problem was that she didn't know she had developed this dependency. Now that we know, we would of course do anything possible and we'd make sure this accident doesn't happen. My daughter knows but she's a kid. My mother knows and has a copy of my psych's prescription. A good friend knows and has a letter with my treatment and my psych's telephone. IDK, I guess I just have to leave it in Jesus's hands and let go.

Well I think really it is unfortunate she had this experience perhaps if she had known things would have been very different.l believe you will not be in that position as you are very aware of your situation and you will be able to get the diazepam.l know these fears are very hard to live with however you have covered your back as much as you can so there really isn't anything else you can do.X

[[va...]]

Thank you Stutt. I have a pendant necklace  I got last summer on amazon where five pills fit (ten day dose for me). I'll wear that if I travel out of my town. Of course my purse is full of meds. I have meds for two months in it.

[[Ma...]]

 

PAPAYA

 

Just adorable GP, and what a great mix of dogs  . I hate I forgot the puppy bowl 

[[Ma...]]

I know!  That beautiful face.  I just want to hug and kiss him!

 

Reba would be so jealous 

[[Gu...]]

The voice of reason.  You are right Mary, Reba would never allow it.  I also imagine a dog that cute was adopted before he made it to Puppy Bowl.

[[Ma...]]

The voice of reason.  You are right Mary, Reba would never allow it.  I also imagine a dog that cute was adopted before he made it to Puppy Bowl.

 

I hope so GP. 

[[Gu...]]

Have you started tapering yet Mary.  I’m not even thinking about it til maybe March.  I’m not sure whether to continue tapering Ambien or tackle the lorazepam again.  I know I threw a wrench in the whole thing when I started on my Ambien.  But I was worried when Pdoc said no meds if you have sleep apnea.  They have no idea of the fear they cause. 

[[Fi...]]

Hi everyone,

 

It's quiet here this morning, 

 

Hope your weekend was OK.

 

I slept well last night! First time in weeks. But I learned that a good night is not automatically followed by a good day. So far that's the case anyway. Did go for groceries, but it wasn't easy. The muscles in my left upper leg are becoming more and more painful. Feel like they could tear at any minute,  I do hope the dry needling is going to bring some relief. This pain is really bothering me.

Since the beginning of my taper I' ve had nausea practically every morning. Usually it goes away later in the morning. Anyone else have nausea as an issue?.

 

Hope you slept well. Have a pleasant day.

 

Hi Troch,

 

I suffered with nausea throughout my Lamical taper, had it every for close to 3 years. I do get it now sometimes with my benzo taper.  I do a couple of things:

 

Nux Vomica it's a homepathic remedy  from a company called Boiron. They are pellets you let dissolve under the tongue.  You take 3 ar a time. They seem to work for me. 

 

Alka seltzer Gold: its Alka Seltzer without the aspirin.  You can buy it on Amazon.

 

Ginger Tablets or Ginger tea: helps calm it down.

[[Fi...]]

Thank you Stutt. I have a pendant necklace  I got last summer on amazon where five pills fit (ten day dose for me). I'll wear that if I travel out of my town. Of course my purse is full of meds. I have meds for two months in it.

 

VNM,

I'm curious about the pendant you got.  Is it actually a pendant made to carry pills?

 

I too have had a fear of not having my meds if I were to go on hospital.  Since I weigh out my meds daily, I fear I would have to have my husband bring the two scales I use.  I can imagine how rbar would go over.  You have such great back up plans with your necklace, purse and mother plus your daughter's awareness.

 

Would you let me know the pendant you got?  Thank you. 

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Thanks Final healing,

 

Been drinking ginger tea a lot last year. Will do so again.

My mom was into homeopathy and always had Nux Vomica at the ready.

Will buy some.

 

Hope your day is OK.

 

[[Fi...]]

Thanks Final healing,

 

Been drinking ginger tea a lot last year. Will do so again.

My mom was into homeopathy and always had Nux Vomica at the ready.

Will buy some.

 

Hope your day is OK.

 

I'm glad you are familiar with nux vomica.

 

I'm okayish.  Feel caught up in how tedious this is right now.  Will go out for a walk but don't have much else going on while I taper. 

[[va...]]

Hi Final. I'm in a rush. It's like this more or less

 

https://www.amazon.com/AIBER-Titanium-Waterproof-Pendant-Bullet-shape/dp/B01N3YOFF1/ref=mp_s_a_1_16?keywords=pill+holder+pendant&qid=1580756014&sprefix=Pill+holder+p&sr=8-16

[[Fi...]]

Hi Final. I'm in a rush. It's like this more or less

 

https://www.amazon.com/AIBER-Titanium-Waterproof-Pendant-Bullet-shape/dp/B01N3YOFF1/ref=mp_s_a_1_16?keywords=pill+holder+pendant&qid=1580756014&sprefix=Pill+holder+p&sr=8-16

 

Thank you for posting this VNM.

[[Ma...]]

Have you started tapering yet Mary.  I’m not even thinking about it til maybe March.  I’m not sure whether to continue tapering Ambien or tackle the lorazepam again.  I know I threw a wrench in the whole thing when I started on my Ambien.  But I was worried when Pdoc said no meds if you have sleep apnea.  They have no idea of the fear they cause. 

 

I am thinking March 1st.  My bil and nephew usually visit me in February but last 2 I have felt too bad for them to come, so I really want to see them this year even if I have to updose a couple days.  My bil is getting older and I need to see him.  Then I will just go back to my normal dose, wait a week or so and start tapering.  I am getting tired of holding, everytime I think the hold is helping, it only lasts a few days.  So plan is low % and long hold between. 

 

I am sorry the damn Dr scared you. It would be so nice to have a Dr that could help .  LY,  Mary 💜💜

[[es...]]

It is unbelievable that, on top of all we have had to endure, there is the additional fear for our safety if we are hospitalized. If there is an upside to this, it has to be that we have become the most self-reliant people in the world! Pendant idea is brilliant! Trishy, I am so sorry to hear about your son. You know my story, and know I understand. But, a son is an even greater grief than a parent. I am so glad you are getting help for yourself. That is the best thing you can do, for you and for him. VNM, I have such admiration for you. You haven’t gotten the reward from your holds that you wanted, but you keep on enduring for your child. Your decision to do everything you can to stay on your feet says what it means to be a mother. I would say the same of Stut, and all of you, here. Love you all. DD, Troch, Intend, GP, Olive, Can’t, Mary, and the names my compromised brain has left out. Espy

[[Ol...]]

Great idea, VNM! And the pendant is very cute as well.

Thanks for the kind words Espy.

Love to all of you.

 

[[De...]]

The number of reads on my pl9g is 666. I feel like I was figuring things out. Then I see that. This always happens to me. It freaks me out and then I feel like it a message saying you are wrong. I'm not psychotic. I just dont get this. I can't take it anymore. I am sorry. I must sound like a headcase. I'm scared again.

[[va...]]

It is unbelievable that, on top of all we have had to endure, there is the additional fear for our safety if we are hospitalized. If there is an upside to this, it has to be that we have become the most self-reliant people in the world! Pendant idea is brilliant! Trishy, I am so sorry to hear about your son. You know my story, and know I understand. But, a son is an even greater grief than a parent. I am so glad you are getting help for yourself. That is the best thing you can do, for you and for him. VNM, I have such admiration for you. You haven’t gotten the reward from your holds that you wanted, but you keep on enduring for your child. Your decision to do everything you can to stay on your feet says what it means to be a mother. I would say the same of Stut, and all of you, here. Love you all. DD, Troch, Intend, GP, Olive, Can’t, Mary, and the names my compromised brain has left out. Espy

 

Thank you so much Espy. I've gotten all emotional reading this, as much as the fear allows today because it's absolutely rampant today. I guess we deal with the cards we've been dealt and that's all. I feel so sad for my daughter. It breaks my heart that if this continues I'll never be able to taper and I'm always on the verge of a panic attack and something will happen to me or they'll cut me off and I'll go into acute and then something really terrible will happen and she'll be alone. It's dreadful to live like this. I don't wish it on anyone. I know there are people in the world much worse off so I try to remember that and put one step in front of the other every day to do what has to be done. My anxiety today is the worst I think since October. What the hell is this again? I'm never going to stabilize and cut again. How could that be possible? It is NOT tolerance withdrawal in case someone wants to say that. It isn't. This is rampant withdrawal. It's like my brain never ever caught up with the cutting from 5 to 2.5 due to being severely kindled, and who knows if it ever will at this rate. One thing is to be on the drug forever, and another is to be on the drug forever but in withdrawal as bad as if you were in a very bad taper. I look in the mirror and I look great but in my head I'm wanting to climb up the wall all day. It's crazy. Next tuesday I have the monthly psych appointment when he'll say a lot of dumb stuff about why don't I travel overseas to relax and other super dumb stuff I have to pay to listen to. I have a lot of benzo rage today too, for good reason. I'm proud of you Espy for making it to the other side.

 

Feeling the pendant is great. I never would've dared going to the beach last summer alone with my daughter if I hadn't been wearing that with my valium.

 

Mary Yes, hold and see your family. WE HAVE THIS ONE LIFE.

 

I haven't caught up and I can't say hi to everyone but I love you and thank you for supporting me and each other. I hope many of us get to the other side. I'm not hoping anymore because the hope really hurts me as I'm hoping for something that might or might not happen. I cope much better accepting this and lowering my expectations to the minimum.

 

I hope everyone has a decent evening.

[[va...]]

I love this one but it's too expensive plus too small (1cm smaller than mine). I know it's tacky but so am I.

 

https://www.amazon.com/TOPGRILLZ-Capsule-Pendant-Necklace-Jewelry/dp/B07J5HDZ2S/ref=sr_1_37?dchild=1&keywords=pill+holder+necklace&qid=1580761774&sr=8-37