The Long Hold Support Group

[[...]]

Pleasebehere.... Hold on tight... Our bodies do heal , they have amazing capacity to rejuvenate . I can't pretend to know how all this works .... But I do believe this.

It sucks , it really does, and there's no way to ease the suffering we feel..... But now I will pass on what others are saying to me.... Trust that you will heal . Hugs 

 

[[He...]]

Dear MIYU,

I am sorry you are struggling so much, but please don't think it is hopeless. IMO, you just need to hold tight and let time and patience be your friend. I know wdfx take over your life and you are right about feeling like your life is passing you by while you see everyone else enjoying themselves. Buthink about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. First you have to whether the storm, but you ARE DOING IT!

IMO you need to keep holding, but it is up to you. You will feel better soon. Take one day at a time.

I am in the same place as you, HOLDING is tough,but things are getting better slowly for me. It took a good 6 weeks before I started to feel real improvement. 

Your symptoms can turn around when you least expect it.

Hang in there sweet MIYU. You can do this!

I hope your tomorrow is better than your today, and every day gets better in a hurry!

Heathcliff

[[He...]]

MIYU,

I just looked at your tapering schedule.

If I am reading it correctly it seems like you have cut about .5 mg each  month and totaled a cut of

1 1/2 mg in three months and then another 1/4 last month. Do you think you have not let your brain catch up to your cuts? Do you think you are experiencing such difficult wdfx because your taper is too Aggressive?, especially after your struggle when you crossed over fromK to Valium? Looks to me like your brain is needing time to heal and adjust. And that may be why you are having such a tough time.

 

IMO, maybe you need to hold a few months (4 months at least?)or at least until you are really feeling stabilized and your wdfx are very manageable. It may not take that long. Then when you start to taper again, it will be easier because you  will have let your brain heal and adjust during that long hold.

IMO you may want to try smaller cuts and longer holds when you start to taper again and see what your body can handle. Then you can adjust things according to how you feel.

 

But IMO you should not cut again until you are really stable.

Remember, slow and steady wins the race. Rushing ahead with a taper just gives you bad wdfx, and then you only have to hold to stabelize anyway. So you really don't save time by rushing ahead. If you go slow, you feel better.

 

 

I hope you are feeling better soon, I know for me, the hold I am on is truly making me better anbetter. It's a slow process but I know when I reach about 4 months, I will evaluate and hopefully be feeling well enough to start micro cutting again, and hold each time til I feel stable before cutting again.

 

Good luck, keep posting, we are here for you.hang in there and stay strong. Peace and blessings.

And I promised she to stay strong too. Life is definitely NOT a bed of roses right now!

Heath

[[He...]]

Pleasebehere,

I hope you won't give up. Maybe smaller cuts will help your taper.  But don't give up.  I feel so bad that you are still struggling. But even a tiny cut is a step forward off of your drug. Try to be strong and hang in there. I'm no expert, but from what I have read, everyone does heal, in their own time.

 

Peace and healing to you. And lots of(((hugs)))

 

Heath

[[Va...]]

Hello everyone..... Been reading your posts daily, I'm happy for those of you doing well now , and my thoughts and hugs to all who are struggling.

I need to rant a little-

I feel like I've been stuck for the whole month of October . I suppose I improved a bit after my last 1/4 mg cut at the end of sept , the first two weeks were really rough, but I still feel like shit. 2 weeks feels like eons ....waking up very day to the same old same old bardot. On fire all the time ,scared,  crying, stuck in my little studio on my own hardly able to talk to anyone or do anything except eat and feel crappy and wonder if my whole taper will be this way.

Wondering if it will ever change , you know the story , feeling like my life is passing me by and being wasted etc etc. 

 

 

I Try to find ways to stay positive but sometimes I just reach my limit . I know I'm not alone , and I feel kinda bad for complaining , but this just really sucks. Will this really come to an end?

Ok , thanks for listening ....really fed up today and so wanting to feel some improvement ....

I guess I need some encouragement if anyone has it to spare 

Hi Miyu. Look at it this way. You've spent the whole month of October allowing your body to heal. It may not feel or seem like it but it is happening. In time things will look a lot brighter and you won't feel "stuck" anymore. I actually believe holding is just as important as tapering but it seems anxiety pushes us to want to continue cutting when it's the last thing we should do IMO.  --V

 

V- it doesn't seem to work for k users...  :'(. Although for Valium it seems more successful...

 

I wish so much there was more hope.... I'm sinking like a battleship ... I know I have acquired serious damage..my cns has been decimated.... I don't know why I got hit so hard.... Why?

 

I wish everyone on here the best of everything life and healing can offer all of you so much..

 

Some people make it some don't....people like me don't heal..,, they don't have my sxs... What I have is damage...

Please. I'm so sorry you have had it so rough. I do tend to agree with the K being somewhat more problematic when holding for some from what I've read on BB. I'm not sure why that is. I don't think you're damaged though. I think it's the nature and properties of the benzo youre on.  K has an effect on serotonin that other benzos don't which may account for the irregularity experienced during holds. There is always a way out. We just need to help you figure out what to do to bring some relief.  --V

[[ga...]]

Pleasebe, many years ago I had an adverse drug reaction from taking a drug my body could not process (genetic liver dysfunction). I did very serious damage to my cns. I had to abruptly stop the drug. I won't describe all the horrible symptoms. The symptoms went on unabated for 6 months. I thought I was damaged forever. Life was unbearable and I planned to end it. I even had a timetable for when I would do it. But now and then, I noticed that the symptoms were a little less. After 6 months, I saw very slow but steady improvement. I now have almost no symptoms at all from that. We can heal from CNS damage. Hang on and taper in whatever way you need to to get off the K. You will heal, too.

 

Warmest wishes,

Gard

[[Pl...]]

Thank you gard valley and Heath...((((.      ))))))... my problem is not knowing which way to go....and scared to death of making a wrong move.....

 

That's why I'm constantly trying to make an educated plus a gut instinct decision of what to do...( if that makes sense) .I just don't trust myself when it comes to my opinions though...

 

My options are either to cold turkey( which may prove to be an extremely wrong move)

Or to attempt a dry cut daily micro taper as things went south when I started liquid and split my doses

 

there are so many variables in my situation , I don't know what is causing what and that has always been my problem in how to proceed....I don't see too many people on the forum with my reinstating at 10 months out  on a different benzo and what they did and also people with my type of symptoms which reinforces my feeling of being really doomed with severe cns damage....

 

Don't get me wrong; k "softened" alot of my sxs but gave me alot more....the trade off wasnt worth it...

 

I developed some sort of td / dystonia / epileptic type attacks I get before my cycle... I know its tied to the drug.... Had it during ativan withdrawal..... Being on k  it  morphed and became worse.... Akasthesia, inner restlessness , like chemical torment in my body...tremoring burning ..breathing issues..... Pulse at 150...feeling drunk 24/7....waking up drunk....You name it I have it...

 

.

 

Let me put it this way, the alpha blocker I've taken only 3 times acts more like a benzo then the actual benzo....this alone tells me something's really wrong....

 

"Are these side effects ,, is it a w/d symptom? Is this left over from ativan?  you need to get off right away ; its causing damage....No , don't because you'll make it worse... Slowly taper and you'll still have it anyway.... You're going too slow ....you're going too fast....No, maybe if you go lower in your situation it will just get better....you'll never figure it out because you were symptomatic to begin with... You're kindled and paradoxical how are you gonna get out of it?  Do you want to go thru this one more second, minute, day?"

 

this is what goes thru my head all day long.....complete utter craziness...

 

If I had the missing link to help me make the right decision I would at least have some peace of mind I did the right thing in handling the situation and move forward...

 

After my cycle ends I am going to try the pills and dry micro tapering daily because I won't hold out much longer....will this help and allow me to go faster as its clear I am neurotoxic...

 

Something went horribly wrong with me...

 

If any of you have any more ideas , I welcome them all.... Thank you for your time patience and willingness to listen ,read, be here and help..

 

And gard thank you for sharing something so personal..that meant so much to me as my thoughts go to places I don't want it to go... But fighting is killing me too.....

[[ga...]]

Pleasebe, I vote NO to cold turkey. I had only been on my med about a week when I stopped it. I was not addicted. I had an adverse, toxic reaction because I could not clear the med. It built up to toxic levels very quickly.

 

Pleasebe, those thoughts are very common in w/d. I would guess that most people have them but don't talk about it. Somebody at NAMI explained to me that the brain alarms and fixates on dangerous things. Thoughts of suicide are dangerous, so if you have them, the brain alarms and fixates on them and repeats them in an effort to try to figure out how to protect itself. Sounds awful, but it is actually a normal way the brain functions. It alerts to danger.

 

Distraction is about the only way I know to get unstuck from that. I've heard it called "changing the channel," a phrase I find helpful. Think of something that makes you feel good like puppies or kittens and "change the channel" in your brain. Even say, "Change the channel to kittens," to yourself and then think about kittens (or whatever) over and over. Find youtube videos about kittens (or whatever) and then you will have a real channel. Even if you have to change the channel a hundred times a day, that's OK. It means you noticed what your brain was doing and you did a positive thing. Noticing your thinking and changing the channel to something pleasant a hundred times a day is good practice, not failure. Every time you do it, you are taking a positive step toward soothing the pathways in your brain.

 

I think if I were in your shoes I would just keep slowly tapering. I am realizing myself that there will be no symptom-free taper for me and I have to move forward with the symptoms I have as best I can. They are greatly reduced since my hold, but they are not going to be gone until I am done. If they become intolerable, I will pause again.

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

Gard

[[Pl...]]

Pleasebe, I vote NO to cold turkey. I had only been on my med about a week when I stopped it. I was not addicted. I had an adverse, toxic reaction because I could not clear the med. It built up to toxic levels very quickly.

 

Pleasebe, those thoughts are very common in w/d. I would guess that most people have them but don't talk about it. Somebody at NAMI explained to me that the brain alarms and fixes on dangerous things. Thoughts of suicide are dangerous, so if you have them, the brain alarms and fixates on them and repeats them in an effort to try to figure out how to protect itself. Sounds awful, but it is actually a normal way the brain functions. It alerts to danger.

 

Distraction is about the only way I know to get unstuck from that. I've heard it called "changing the channel," a phrase I find helpful. Think of something that makes you feel good like puppies or kittens and "change the channel" in your brain. Even say, "Change the channel to kittens," to yourself and then think about kittens (or whatever) over and over. Find youtube videos about kittens (or whatever) and then you will have a real channel. Even if you have to change the channel a hundred times a day, that's OK. It means you noticed what your brain was doing and you did a positive thing. Noticing your thinking and changing the channel to something pleasant a hundred times a day is good practice, not failure. Every time you do it, you are taking a positive step toward soothing the pathways in your brain.

 

I think if I were in your shoes I would just keep slowly tapering. I am realizing myself that there will be no symptom-free taper for me and I have to move forward with the symptoms I have as best I can. They are greatly reduced since my hold, but they are not going to be gone until I am done. If they become intolerable, I will pause again.

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

Gard

 

Gard.... Thank you so much for your opinion and clarifying your prior situation....

 

It makes me feel safe that there are people on here who get this and can give me their opinion.....

 

I always hesitate and get really scared to post because I'm always afraid of how people are going to respond to me....( how's that for fear?)

 

I just never have anything good to say or can give words of encouragement because my situation has been dire for so long....

 

If I could, I would do it in spades....

 

Right now I can just offer my gratitude to all of you.....and its heartfelt and real

 

On another note, My dr. had given me clonodine but I am going to try propornol as needed to see which works better to stop the tremors and adrenaline surges.....

 

I don't know of anything natural that doesn't directly hit gaba receptors to curb adrenaline? But my hormones are majorly messed up....

 

Unfortunately, bp meds have their own side effects and need to be tapered and I would do anything to try to avoid that....but I do realize I need extra help to get thru this....

 

I have something in common with you in that I too lack the proper enzymes and genes that break down meds.....

 

Its disheartening that it took me 6-7 months just to drop .08 mg just to reach .92 mg from 1 mg...... :'( that's like 1 percent a month!!!!  ( I look at that as a hybrid hold)

 

I wouldn't care how long it took if the drug actually helped me and I was functional.... Its just not the case.....

 

Too much of a sensitized cns and side effects....

 

I will try the dry cutting next.......

 

Thank you for your care and concern and everyone on here.. And I hope your days get better and better

[[...]]

MIYU,

I just looked at your tapering schedule.

If I am reading it correctly it seems like you have cut about .5 mg each  month and totaled a cut of

1 1/2 mg in three months and then another 1/4 last month. Do you think you have not let your brain catch up to your cuts? Do you think you are experiencing such difficult wdfx because your taper is too Aggressive?, especially after your struggle when you crossed over fromK to Valium? Looks to me like your brain is needing time to heal and adjust. And that may be why you are having such a tough time.

 

IMO, maybe you need to hold a few months (4 months at least?)or at least until you are really feeling stabilized and your wdfx are very manageable. It may not take that long. Then when you start to taper again, it will be easier because you  will have let your brain heal and adjust during that long hold.

IMO you may want to try smaller cuts and longer holds when you start to taper again and see what your body can handle. Then you can adjust things according to how you feel.

 

But IMO you should not cut again until you are really stable.

Remember, slow and steady wins the race. Rushing ahead with a taper just gives you bad wdfx, and then you only have to hold to stabelize anyway. So you really don't save time by rushing ahead. If you go slow, you feel better.

 

 

I hope you are feeling better soon, I know for me, the hold I am on is truly making me better anbetter. It's a slow process but I know when I reach about 4 months, I will evaluate and hopefully be feeling well enough to start micro cutting again, and hold each time til I feel stable before cutting again.

 

Good luck, keep posting, we are here for you.hang in there and stay strong. Peace and blessings.

And I promised she to stay strong too. Life is definitely NOT a bed of roses right now!

Heath

 

Thank you Heath, you're an angel

I am going to keep holding, a month isn't very long and I do think I got very destabilized crossing from K. The K was very intense for me and the WDs were awful when I crossed. I couldn't walk ,I had mini seizures ,  and I went much slower than the Ashton method.

I'm a lot more stable on V , even though I don't like how I feel on it at all.

The burning seems a little better this morning so perhaps progress is happening .... It's definitely not linear ! I still feel very shaky and can't handle any stimulation.

I wake up every morning with a start around 7.30 am , not exactly an adrenaline rush , but maybe a cortisol spike, I'm not sure .

I hope you have a good day today and thank you for taking the time to write, let's pray these holds really do us some good.... I can feel how important it is to stabilize if possible , much as I hate waiting when I feel V itself is messing up my system . But the brain needs time , as does the CNS.

Yes , you are right about the taper being too fast... I thought I was going to be able to go at 1 mg month! Had to learn the hard way I guess, like we all do , it's trial and error till we heal.

We'll get there ! Love 

MiYu

 

I hope everyone gets through today with as much ease  as possible

[[Pl...]]

Pleasebe, I vote NO to cold turkey. I had only been on my med about a week when I stopped it. I was not addicted. I had an adverse, toxic reaction because I could not clear the med. It built up to toxic levels very quickly.

 

Pleasebe, those thoughts are very common in w/d. I would guess that most people have them but don't talk about it. Somebody at NAMI explained to me that the brain alarms and fixes on dangerous things. Thoughts of suicide are dangerous, so if you have them, the brain alarms and fixates on them and repeats them in an effort to try to figure out how to protect itself. Sounds awful, but it is actually a normal way the brain functions. It alerts to danger.

 

Distraction is about the only way I know to get unstuck from that. I've heard it called "changing the channel," a phrase I find helpful. Think of something that makes you feel good like puppies or kittens and "change the channel" in your brain. Even say, "Change the channel to kittens," to yourself and then think about kittens (or whatever) over and over. Find youtube videos about kittens (or whatever) and then you will have a real channel. Even if you have to change the channel a hundred times a day, that's OK. It means you noticed what your brain was doing and you did a positive thing. Noticing your thinking and changing the channel to something pleasant a hundred times a day is good practice, not failure. Every time you do it, you are taking a positive step toward soothing the pathways in your brain.

 

I think if I were in your shoes I would just keep slowly tapering. I am realizing myself that there will be no symptom-free taper for me and I have to move forward with the symptoms I have as best I can. They are greatly reduced since my hold, but they are not going to be gone until I am done. If they become intolerable, I will pause again.

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

Gard

 

Gard.... Thank you so much for your opinion and clarifying your prior situation....

 

It makes me feel safe that there are people on here who get this and can give me their opinion.....

 

I always hesitate and get really scared to post because I'm always afraid of how people are going to respond to me....( how's that for fear?)

 

I just never have anything good to say or can give words of encouragement because my situation has been dire for so long....

 

If I could, I would do it in spades....

 

Right now I can just offer my gratitude to all of you.....and its heartfelt and real

 

On another note, My dr. had given me clonodine but I am going to try propornol as needed to see which works better to stop the tremors and adrenaline surges.....

 

I don't know of anything natural that doesn't directly hit gaba receptors to curb adrenaline? But my hormones are majorly messed up....

 

Unfortunately, bp meds have their own side effects and need to be tapered and I would do anything to try to avoid that....but I do realize I need extra help to get thru this....

 

I have something in common with you in that I too lack the proper enzymes and genes that break down meds.....

 

Its disheartening that it took me 6-7 months just to drop .08 mg just to reach .92 mg from 1 mg...... :'( that's like 1 percent a month!!!!  ( I look at that as a hybrid hold)

 

I wouldn't care how long it took if the drug actually helped me and I was functional.... Its just not the case.....

 

Too much of a sensitized cns and side effects....

 

I will try the dry cutting next.......

 

Thank you for your care and concern and everyone on here.. And I hope your days get better and better

 

Gard... I forgot to thank you for your "changing the channel" suggestion....I completely overlooked it.... ( wow another thing that scares me...see what I mean by drunk?)  It sounds like a great coping tool..... I don't know if it will work when my physical sxs ramp up because I just can't control the physical and chemical anxiety....

 

But I will try this... Thank you so much..... ((( hugs)))

[[ga...]]

 

Gard... I forgot to thank you for your "changing the channel" suggestion....I completely overlooked it.... ( wow another thing that scares me...see what I mean by drunk?)  It sounds like a great coping tool..... I don't know if it will work when my physical sxs ramp up because I just can't control the physical and chemical anxiety....

 

But I will try this... Thank you so much..... ((( hugs)))

 

Yes, sometimes all I can do is pace slowly and repeat, "I am safe. This will pass," whether I believe it or not.

Sometimes we have no control. I'm a control freak so letting go of that desire to control is really hard. But, when I manage to stop trying to control, it does help stop things from spiraling out of control. (Did that make any sense at all. ) Another thing I can't control: making sense! 

[[...]]

Gard, what is Q? I just wanted to know what you are tapering , thanks! 

[[Va...]]

Gard, what is Q? I just wanted to know what you are tapering , thanks! 

I know you asked gard but Q is seroquel.  --V

[[Pl...]]

 

Gard... I forgot to thank you for your "changing the channel" suggestion....I completely overlooked it.... ( wow another thing that scares me...see what I mean by drunk?)  It sounds like a great coping tool..... I don't know if it will work when my physical sxs ramp up because I just can't control the physical and chemical anxiety....

 

But I will try this... Thank you so much..... ((( hugs)))

 

Yes, sometimes all I can do is pace slowly and repeat, "I am safe. This will pass," whether I believe it or not.

Sometimes we have no control. I'm a control freak so letting go of that desire to control is really hard. But, when I manage to stop trying to control, it does help stop things from spiraling out of control. (Did that make any sense at all. ) Another thing I can't control: making sense! 

 

Yes it did..... Your brain is working just fine!  Thank you very very much....deepest hugs

[[ga...]]

Gard, what is Q? I just wanted to know what you are tapering , thanks! 

I know you asked gard but Q is seroquel.  --V

 

Yup. Generic is Quetiapine. I take it as a sleep aid and felt I was on too much even though I took the smallest tablet. I liquid titrated it down to 17mg and stopped. I think I am still feeling the effects of that tiny taper. Now trying to go back to my Librium taper. (very similar to Valium)

 

Gard

[[ga...]]

 

Yes, sometimes all I can do is pace slowly and repeat, "I am safe. This will pass," whether I believe it or not.

Sometimes we have no control. I'm a control freak so letting go of that desire to control is really hard. But, when I manage to stop trying to control, it does help stop things from spiraling out of control. (Did that make any sense at all. ) Another thing I can't control: making sense! 

 

Yes it did..... Your brain is working just fine!  Thank you very very much....deepest hugs

 

Ha, ha! When it wants to.

[[ba...]]

Pleasebe, I vote NO to cold turkey. I had only been on my med about a week when I stopped it. I was not addicted. I had an adverse, toxic reaction because I could not clear the med. It built up to toxic levels very quickly.

 

Pleasebe, those thoughts are very common in w/d. I would guess that most people have them but don't talk about it. Somebody at NAMI explained to me that the brain alarms and fixates on dangerous things. Thoughts of suicide are dangerous, so if you have them, the brain alarms and fixates on them and repeats them in an effort to try to figure out how to protect itself. Sounds awful, but it is actually a normal way the brain functions. It alerts to danger.

 

Distraction is about the only way I know to get unstuck from that. I've heard it called "changing the channel," a phrase I find helpful. Think of something that makes you feel good like puppies or kittens and "change the channel" in your brain. Even say, "Change the channel to kittens," to yourself and then think about kittens (or whatever) over and over. Find youtube videos about kittens (or whatever) and then you will have a real channel. Even if you have to change the channel a hundred times a day, that's OK. It means you noticed what your brain was doing and you did a positive thing. Noticing your thinking and changing the channel to something pleasant a hundred times a day is good practice, not failure. Every time you do it, you are taking a positive step toward soothing the pathways in your brain.

 

I think if I were in your shoes I would just keep slowly tapering. I am realizing myself that there will be no symptom-free taper for me and I have to move forward with the symptoms I have as best I can. They are greatly reduced since my hold, but they are not going to be gone until I am done. If they become intolerable, I will pause again.

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

Gard

 

Need this today.

 

About the brain fixating on danger.

What is Nami?

 

Had 2 functional days (not good feeling, but functional) overcome today with waves of panic, expected this. Every thing is setting me off, go through this a lot.

[[ga...]]

NAMI = National Alliance for the Mentally Ill

 

I don't know about other places, but we have several "warm lines" they operate here. And certain parts of the state have support groups, too.

 

I have days like that, too, where every little thing sets me off. I am trying to learn to accept it and do something meaningful in spite of how I feel so the day isn't a complete loss. Even if it just setting up my own meds so my daughter doesn't have to do it, that is meaningful to me.

 

And I had those intrusive thoughts just 2 days ago when my neuropathy was especially horrible. I think it's a w/d thing. When you're in a wave you think it will never end and you just want to end it any way you can. Just knowing that a lot of this is normal makes it a little easier to bear. The brain alerting to danger is normal. We just need tools to help us get through it and/or get out of the loop. I have a list on my refrigerator of things I can use to distract or things I can say to myself to get me through. I rely on lists because I never can think of a thing when I'm in a wave!

 

Here's something that sometimes works for me. I have three little jars with things that have scents that bring happy memories. They are in a basket on the shelf in my living room. I go and open one and breathe deeply and slowly and flood my brain with the scent. One is cinnamon sticks, which reminds me of Christmas. One is mulling spices which reminds me of hot cider and autumn, my favorite season. One is green tea which reminds me of when I lived in Asia. These are happy memories for me. It's a way of changing the channel.

 

Oh gosh, my brain is a mess today. You wouldn't believe how many times I've gone back and fixed mistakes in this post!

[[ba...]]

Thanks Gard, just knowing someone else goes through this helps. I was explaining to my therapist that my mind is in panic, not because of any thing in particular, it just is, and it looks for fears to latch on to. Its not the thoughts that come first, its the heightened anxiety. And the brain wants a justification for the red danger sign flashing in the amygdyla, so it looks for threats.

 

He paused and took that one in.

 

In the heightened anxiety, the phone chiming will set off a panic attack, water dripping, any and every innocuous thing. Then, if I can't contain it, it will latch on to my legitimate fears and OMG, that's a bad place to be. I can logically see how stupid the ongoing panic is, but I can't change it. I try and put it next to me (in my mind) It's there, it's my agitated CNS, I'm going to have to keep going with it. I try all the distractions, some work better at different times.

 

The heightened anxiety, for me, is the worst aspect of withdraw, because it is my thinking and feeling, not just all the horrid physical sensations.

 

On more benign days, it is the physical sxs that dominate, and I will only start panicking if something activates a major fear,. On those days, I go about my business, in spite of how I feel.

 

On anxious days, it is so much harder to  face anything, like a dentist appointment or a phone call. It is harder to distract myself.

 

And, yes I had to type this and fix it many times, typical, focus is difficult.

 

 

[[ga...]]

Thanks Gard, just knowing someone else goes through this helps. I was explaining to my therapist that my mind is in panic, not because of any thing in particular, it just is, and it looks for fears to latch on to. Its not the thoughts that come first, its the heightened anxiety. And the brain wants a justification for the red danger sign flashing in the amygdyla, so it looks for threats.

 

 

Exactly! And just realizing that this is what your brain is doing, looking for the source of the danger that really isn't there, is a huge step toward surviving this.

 

Interestingly, I was just thinking about this today. I got jolt of anxiety out of nowhere and I remembered when I tried to do cognitive behavioral therapy (disaster). CBT = "Now what thought did I have that led to this jolt and how do I argue that thought away?" The answer is usually NOTHING. And arguing just makes me fixate and and feel worse. The jolt just happens and then the brain looks for something to attach it to and the thought comes later. I know some people like CBT, but I found it only made me worse. So I tried something else, mindful acceptance (also called ACT in therapy jargon).

 

I find mindful acceptance much more helpful. Mindful acceptance =  "I am aware that I am having organic jolts of anxiety. I am having intrusive thoughts. That was another one. It might be long or short. I don't know. There is nothing really dangerous happening but that is not going to stop them from jolting me. Suffering is part of being human and I accept it." And then, if I am able, I go ahead and act in a way that is in accord with my values (such as doing something to take some burden off of my daughter who is a working college student that I lean on way too much). If I need to, I distract and/or collapse and wait.

 

Here's another of my favorite coping techniques: mindful guided breathing by a woman with the most wonderful, soothing, soft British accent. I love listening to her voice. There's a link to it here:

 

http://franticworld.com/resources/free-meditations-from-mindfulness-for-health/

 

I like the breathing anchor, but I will do the shorter one sometimes, too. These are free samples from an audiobook about coping with chronic pain or any significant health problems. The breathing anchor has helped me tremendously. The whole program, that includes 8 different meditations and weekly practices, is supposed to take 8 weeks, but I'm in w/d so I whipped through it in only 10 months!

[[ge...]]

I'm so thankful someone read my post and offered the link to this thread. I have a great group of women who support me through prayer. I only reach out when it's more than I can handle, and this month we realized it's been the same date 3 months in a row. And it lines up with the first day of my period. I'm 7months post jump from Xanax use, and I still struggle. I'm in a particularly rough wave. Pins and needles tingling through my body, bone pain, tinnitus, bloat, headache, and I'm foggy. I always have some degree of pain still, but the waves are unbearable. I'm so glad I'm not alone, but I'm running a little low on hope. Thanks for listening!

[[An...]]

Hello everyone,

I need some encouragement please.

It has been 2 weeks now, since my second hold. It has been an uphill battle trying to deal with symptoms old and new.

Some of the new are sudden dizzy surges, that cause me to loose my footing.

Tinnitus too in my left ear. Abdominal pains, elevated BP and palpitations, depression, crying, and just feeling completely unwell.

I wonder if I should keep holding hoping for miracles, or resume my taper.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Wishing everyone who are dealing with difficult times healing blessings.

Anoushka

 

[[lo...]]

i would try to switch to valium (maybe K) and then taper from there. you could be dealing with interdose....

 

Hello everyone,

I need some encouragement please.

It has been 2 weeks now, since my second hold. It has been an uphill battle trying to deal with symptoms old and new.

Some of the new are sudden dizzy surges, that cause me to loose my footing.

Tinnitus too in my left ear. Abdominal pains, elevated BP and palpitations, depression, crying, and just feeling completely unwell.

I wonder if I should keep holding hoping for miracles, or resume my taper.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Wishing everyone who are dealing with difficult times healing blessings.

Anoushka

[[He...]]

Hey everyone,

I am not an expert.  I still consider myself very new to all this.  But I must say something here.

 

HOLDS WORK, HOLDS WORK . HOLDS WORK!

 

I am at 2 1/2 months. My days are getting better and better for longer periods each day. Today I had an entire day of feeling like my old self. Drove around and ran all over the place all day.

 

Had a little "blip" as Begood says,of light headedness for about two hours, but that was nothing compared to what wdfx I used to get.

 

Yes I know that I may very likely have more bad days during this whole process, but I am convinced that I am in this better place now because of my hold.  This time my hold will continue for at least another two months because I know I will only get better and better, even with blips.

 

No cutting for me anymore until I am definitely very very stable.

 

This post is to THANK again all you buddies, especially Anne, Lynne, Begood and VallyUm for helping me to keep on holding when I wanted to give up.

 

You are so right. If you are patient and just hold LONG ENOUGH, you WILL GET REWARDED.

Yes it is possible to get off this horrible drug without too many wdfx if you just go slow and hold your hold!

 

Thank you , thank you, Thank you!

 

 

Heathcliff