The Long Hold Support Group

[[Va...]]

Im trying. God im sick of the dead/emotionless feeling in my head.

i feel same, its effecting everything, i can barely work, have not done my quickbooks in 4 moths, i have no memeory left except old looping thoughts, its effecting kids, spouse, life, ugh, dp/dr, eye problems now, ugh, i so

feel your pain

INP

Hang on ineedpeace!  You've made some changes and you're body is trying to adjust. It will happen.  --V

[[in...]]

I'm trying. God I'm sick of the dead/emotionless feeling in my head.

i feel same, its effecting everything, i can barely work, have not done my quickbooks in 4 moths, i have no memory left except old looping thoughts, its effecting kids, spouse, life, ugh, DP/dr, eye problems now, ugh, i so

feel your pain

INP

Hang on ineedpeace!  You've made some changes and you're body is trying to adjust. It will happen.  --V

thanks, but i feel like my body is breaking down now..........walking around is so much to handle, and with 4 yr old flipping kids, one 9b) is sweet as pie, the other (g) is freaking giving me attitude, etc, I'm not handling it very well, depression has set in, late Sept I think i jumped off A, still on evil K..........i wish it would be better, but not today, i tried to explain what was going on in my head, to spouse, who is a dick i can say anyways, and hes like if you want help go to rehab.........I'm afraid to talk to him anymore about this  as hes like ready to commit me, always calling me a POS, a pile for not caring, he just sets me up for a fight every day, and today when i need him, hes leaving me alone with the kids again, to go dirt bike riding, really, no f^&*ing empathy, he does not care, its gettingold, i have a fam WHO through me under so bad that hate and loss is great, i have no family none, not after what they did to me, which started me on this pill journey, and ruined many years of my life and more to come since I'm holding, I'm scared more damage will come, i feel brain damaged already, thus far, I'm sick, mentally and physically ,can barely walk today, function and spouse wont even listen, only threats of go to rehab, see a shrink, get off it in 5 day crap, he does not understand nor care, I'm beginning not to care anymore, I'm really in need to rem sleep, and quiet....i cant retire at 51 as i had these kids, bad move at 46.......IVF, wish i never did it, not fair to them, and I'm sick about it daily, she hates me the girl child, donor eggs, makes me feel even less close to her, like she is not mine and now I'm stuck with them, (not nice to say i have dp/dr) sorry this sucks, i Can barely function today I'm trying to work, like noted have not done QB's in 4 months, i hope to god some day soon i can get it done, i forget everything...my memory is shot, all i want to do is sleep and never wake up

 

hugs

INP

[[Va...]]

I'm trying. God I'm sick of the dead/emotionless feeling in my head.

i feel same, its effecting everything, i can barely work, have not done my quickbooks in 4 moths, i have no memory left except old looping thoughts, its effecting kids, spouse, life, ugh, DP/dr, eye problems now, ugh, i so

feel your pain

INP

Hang on ineedpeace!  You've made some changes and you're body is trying to adjust. It will happen.  --V

thanks, but i feel like my body is breaking down now..........walking around is so much to handle, and with 4 yr old flipping kids, one 9b) is sweet as pie, the other (g) is freaking giving me attitude, etc, I'm not handling it very well, depression has set in, late Sept I think i jumped off A, still on evil K..........i wish it would be better, but not today, i tried to explain what was going on in my head, to spouse, who is a dick i can say anyways, and hes like if you want help go to rehab.........I'm afraid to talk to him anymore about this  as hes like ready to commit me, always calling me a POS, a pile for not caring, he just sets me up for a fight every day, and today when i need him, hes leaving me alone with the kids again, to go dirt bike riding, really, no f^&*ing empathy, he does not care, its gettingold, i have a fam WHO through me under so bad that hate and loss is great, i have no family none, not after what they did to me, which started me on this pill journey, and ruined many years of my life and more to come since I'm holding, I'm scared more damage will come, i feel brain damaged already, thus far, I'm sick, mentally and physically ,can barely walk today, function and spouse wont even listen, only threats of go to rehab, see a shrink, get off it in 5 day crap, he does not understand nor care, I'm beginning not to care anymore, I'm really in need to rem sleep, and quiet....i cant retire at 51 as i had these kids, bad move at 46.......IVF, wish i never did it, not fair to them, and I'm sick about it daily, she hates me the girl child, donor eggs, makes me feel even less close to her, like she is not mine and now I'm stuck with them, this sucks, i Can barely function today I'm trying to work, like noted have not done QB's in 4 months, i hope to god some day soon i can get it done, i forget everything...my memory is shot, all i want to do is sleep and never wake up

 

hugs

INP

This is definitely a tough journey. I'm the same age as you with a teen still at home and a granddaughter I end up watching a good deal of the time. I also have the motivation issues at times, especially at the beginning when I tapered too quickly. Holding stabilized me but it did take 6 months. I don't know that it would take that long for most (I did an opiate ct right at the beginning and know that was a factor).  Once stable you should be able to return to a fairly normal state IMO and then just taper slowly and listen to your body. I know it's tough right now. Try not to give in to the despair and just take it one day at a time.  --V

[[in...]]

I'm trying. God I'm sick of the dead/emotionless feeling in my head.

i feel same, its effecting everything, i can barely work, have not done my quickbooks in 4 moths, i have no memory left except old looping thoughts, its effecting kids, spouse, life, ugh, DP/dr, eye problems now, ugh, i so

feel your pain

INP

ty, im eh.......super tired and depressed today..............i sure hope your right, you with a teen and grandbaby, wow.............sorry its hard on u too...........hugs

inp

Hang on ineedpeace!  You've made some changes and you're body is trying to adjust. It will happen.  --V

thanks, but i feel like my body is breaking down now..........walking around is so much to handle, and with 4 yr old flipping kids, one 9b) is sweet as pie, the other (g) is freaking giving me attitude, etc, I'm not handling it very well, depression has set in, late Sept I think i jumped off A, still on evil K..........i wish it would be better, but not today, i tried to explain what was going on in my head, to spouse, who is a dick i can say anyways, and hes like if you want help go to rehab.........I'm afraid to talk to him anymore about this  as hes like ready to commit me, always calling me a POS, a pile for not caring, he just sets me up for a fight every day, and today when i need him, hes leaving me alone with the kids again, to go dirt bike riding, really, no f^&*ing empathy, he does not care, its gettingold, i have a fam WHO through me under so bad that hate and loss is great, i have no family none, not after what they did to me, which started me on this pill journey, and ruined many years of my life and more to come since I'm holding, I'm scared more damage will come, i feel brain damaged already, thus far, I'm sick, mentally and physically ,can barely walk today, function and spouse wont even listen, only threats of go to rehab, see a shrink, get off it in 5 day crap, he does not understand nor care, I'm beginning not to care anymore, I'm really in need to rem sleep, and quiet....i cant retire at 51 as i had these kids, bad move at 46.......IVF, wish i never did it, not fair to them, and I'm sick about it daily, she hates me the girl child, donor eggs, makes me feel even less close to her, like she is not mine and now I'm stuck with them, this sucks, i Can barely function today I'm trying to work, like noted have not done QB's in 4 months, i hope to god some day soon i can get it done, i forget everything...my memory is shot, all i want to do is sleep and never wake up

 

hugs

INP

[[sl...]]

Had a large polyp (benign)) removed from my cervix about 10 days ago.  I bled like a normal period for a week after.  That came days after my 2 week long period ended.  Now, I'm 2 days overdue for my period.  Ugh!!  What is up with me?? All of my symptoms are horrendous right now with sleep.  I had bloodwork done and all of my levels are normal.  This is beyond frustrating!

 

Anyone deal with polyp issues?

[[ga...]]

V, it also took me 6 months of holding to get my feet back under me, wobbly feet though they are. Going to be trying baby steps of tapering on these wobbly feet soon. (I hope.)

 

Gard

[[Va...]]

V, it also took me 6 months of holding to get my feet back under me, wobbly feet though they are. Going to be trying baby steps of tapering on these wobbly feet soon. (I hope.)

 

Gard

Tapering is going pretty well for me now gard. I can't imagine where I'd be if I would have kept going. I would definitely be incapacitated. I'm holding at the halfway mark for a couple of weeks just to be safe lol. You'll get back to tapering soon! --V

[[He...]]

I haven't been posting for a while but I have been reading.

 

I have been getting intrusive thoughts in the morning when I wake, like Shamo and Ineedpeace.

 

It's a feeling like anxiety, fear of ?? Nothing?, just a feeling of doom? Can't really explain it. Never happened before my taper, and now only after the past three months or so.

Is this depression? I have not been depressed. Is this anxiety?  Is it a cortisol surge. I just don't know what it is.

 

All I know is it scares me so! If I am able to go back to sleep , it is just there when I wake again. It's as if my brain is doing something while I'm asleep. Adjusting and healing? Strange reaction if that is what's happening!

 

But I have found that if I get up, and immediately distract myself with tv, a book, my iPad, etc, it does go away, just about right away. I guess I should be grateful for that.

 

It's not there every morning, but even once every week is bad enough! I wish it would stop.

 

SHAMO and INEEDPEACE. Iam wondering if the intrusive thoughts you are having are coming only in the mornings or if they stay all daY?And did I describe it the way you are feeling too?  I know how difficult they can be and how they can make your day miserable. I'm  hoping that you don't have to struggle with this much longer. I can't stand it!  When I am having really bad days, I always remember what Begood says.... it's only withdrawal, as bad as it is, it will go away. And..... you never know, you may have a big turn around tomorrow!  These wdfx are crazy. So, yes, one day at a time.

I hope yours and anyone else's struggles will be lighter very soon. I'm praying they will be. Hang on. Youve come so far. You can do this!

Heath

[[Ce...]]

I haven't been posting for a while but I have been reading.

 

I have been getting intrusive thoughts in the morning when I wake, like Shamo and Ineedpeace.

 

It's a feeling like anxiety, fear of ?? Nothing?, just a feeling of doom? Can't really explain it. Never happened before my taper, and now only after the past three months or so.

Is this depression? I have not been depressed. Is this anxiety?  Is it a cortisol surge. I just don't know what it is.

 

All I know is it scares me so! If I am able to go back to sleep , it is just there when I wake again. It's as if my brain is doing something while I'm asleep. Adjusting and healing? Strange reaction if that is what's happening!

 

But I have found that if I get up, and immediately distract myself with tv, a book, my iPad, etc, it does go away, just about right away. I guess I should be grateful for that.

 

It's not there every morning, but even once every week is bad enough! I wish it would stop.

 

SHAMO and INEEDPEACE. Iam wondering if the intrusive thoughts you are having are coming only in the mornings or if they stay all daY?And did I describe it the way you are feeling too?  I know how difficult they can be and how they can make your day miserable. I'm  hoping that you don't have to struggle with this much longer. I can't stand it!  When I am having really bad days, I always remember what Begood says.... it's only withdrawal, as bad as it is, it will go away. And..... you never know, you may have a big turn around tomorrow!  These wdfx are crazy. So, yes, one day at a time.

I hope yours and anyone else's struggles will be lighter very soon. I'm praying they will be. Hang on. Youve come so far. You can do this!

Heath

 

This about sums it up for me!  Thanks, Heath...I couldn't' explain it..you did it very well. It's a nightmare...but I'm trying to stay positive. Not always easy.

[[be...]]

Heath I have had those feelings in the past, and they were looping, over and over, but like everything related to this [glow=red,2,300]"BENZO BEAST"[/glow], it did go away, and it will for you also, I truly believe because our Brain has been in a sort of sleep state, it takes time all the time it needs to heal, and yes never give up or give in to the thoughts, things with Benzo's can turn on a dime, you just made a statement if you get up and distract they go away, keep at it, I think mostly a lot of Buddies have gone through this, and I know that you, Shamo and CeCe will also come out of it, Time and more Time and distract and don't let it rule your days, do something anything to roust them out, and if they stay, just push them to the side and keep going on something you can focus on. I remember you also saying many times that when you are busy, you are not thinking about how you feel. Hold on Heath you are doing really well, think back...I am very proud of you and what you have done to get through this.

[[He...]]

Heath here again,

I am at 2 1/2 months in my hold. I am sick of it. I am sick of this whole business. It's so tiresome. I want to get wll. I want to be me! I still struggle with the idea of , How did this ever happen to me! I never did drugs! I never even smoked a joint! I don't put anything in my mouth except food and what the doctor orders. Ha..there's the rubbish! I hate that dr. I hate what he did to me! I hate hate hate all of this. I'm not depressed. I'm so angry!

 

Ok enough of my rant!

 

I'm hanging in. Feeling, so,so. Neck is still my biggest complaint.  So from what I read here, I guess I am in a pretty good place because at least I can function.

If my pdoc will go along with me, I am going to hold until the first of the new year. That will be 4 1/2 months. Then I'll re-evaluate how I feel and see what I will do. I'm not tapering by the calendar, just keeping track. But I sure hope I will be feeling much better so that I will want to hold for an extended time even after the 4 1/2 months.

I want my neck, my really weak and wobbly legs, and the shakes ( yes they do come back at times) to be gone. And I need to sleep better too. Hopefully my long hold will do that? Am I asking too much?

PROBABLY!

 

Heath

[[He...]]

CeCe I hope your intrusive thoughts go away soon, I'm so grateful that you posted that I explained it correctly. I sometimes think I am going mad when it happens. Now I know it is what happens to many benzo withdrawal sufferers. I still fearful and hate the feeling, but at least I know it's a common occurrence,as horrible as it is.

 

Begood THANK YOU, YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.  YOU ARE always giving,never asking for anything.  It's like you are another mother Theresa incarnated.

I hope your tapering continues to go well.

I often think of how you are doing your taper, so very very slowly, and it gives me the incentive to follow in your footsteps. And in Valley Um's  footsteps as well.

 

Bless you and all the buddies!

Heath :smitten:

[[an...]]

I haven't been posting for a while but I have been reading.

 

I have been getting intrusive thoughts in the morning when I wake, like Shamo and Ineedpeace.

 

It's a feeling like anxiety, fear of ?? Nothing?, just a feeling of doom? Can't really explain it. Never happened before my taper, and now only after the past three months or so.

Is this depression? I have not been depressed. Is this anxiety?  Is it a cortisol surge. I just don't know what it is.

 

All I know is it scares me so! If I am able to go back to sleep , it is just there when I wake again. It's as if my brain is doing something while I'm asleep. Adjusting and healing? Strange reaction if that is what's happening!

 

But I have found that if I get up, and immediately distract myself with tv, a book, my iPad, etc, it does go away, just about right away. I guess I should be grateful for that.

 

It's not there every morning, but even once every week is bad enough! I wish it would stop.

 

SHAMO and INEEDPEACE. Iam wondering if the intrusive thoughts you are having are coming only in the mornings or if they stay all daY?And did I describe it the way you are feeling too?  I know how difficult they can be and how they can make your day miserable. I'm  hoping that you don't have to struggle with this much longer. I can't stand it!  When I am having really bad days, I always remember what Begood says.... it's only withdrawal, as bad as it is, it will go away. And..... you never know, you may have a big turn around tomorrow!  These wdfx are crazy. So, yes, one day at a time.

I hope yours and anyone else's struggles will be lighter very soon. I'm praying they will be. Hang on. Youve come so far. You can do this!

Heath

 

Hi Heath,

 

I am trying to understand what you mean about intrusive thoughts.  To me it means that I would think about past experiences or even things that have not been experienced before.  Maybe dwelling on a past incident and no matter how much you try to distract, the thoughts are still there.  Or dwelling on something that could happen.

 

From your explanation though, it sounds like you are talking about a feeling (not really a thought) of impending doom, but no reason for that feeling.  With it comes anxiousness and an uneasy feeling.  Is that what you mean?  Sorry, but I am just trying to understand.  I have experienced that as well.  Sometimes I feel anxious for no reason, and I chalk it up to chemical anxiety from the drug.  It is not what I think of as depression.  The only time I get depressed or down is when the symptoms kick in. I was never an anxious person before benzos. When people state they are having intrusive thoughts, I have always thought that meant that certain thoughts would come out of the blue for no reason.

 

Anne   

[[an...]]

Hi Begood,

 

I hope all is well with you!!

 

I guess I think of intrusive thoughts as being normal unless it is a constant. This happens now and even way before benzos so I in my case it has nothing to do with the drug.  The way Heath described intrusive thoughts was similar to how I sometimes feel before an uptick in symptoms.  A nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach that just won't go away.  It  is similar to what happens when I am very stressed about something--at least then there is a reason.  But, when I experience it for no reason whatsoever, I know it is the drug.  When I ended up in a bad way back in May/June, it started with the nervous feeling.  Now, when I experience it, I make sure I hold, and I try to get more rest.  For me, it is a sign that I might have an up tick in symptoms. 

 

I hope you are enjoying the evening.  We had a beautiful day today.  So warm and nice. 

 

Take good care.

Anne 

[[be...]]

Thanks Anne for asking, I am doing well, just blips and it is so hot here, hope you are still doing OK.    

[[be...]]

I think I am now confused what Intrusive thoughts mean, honestly I was asleep and had to get up and delete what I wrote, guess I am just not sure, I think what I felt was intrusive......but then nothing is clear on some days. Thanks for those that are the voice of good reasoning.

[[Sh...]]

 

 

I've always wondered about the meaning of "intrusive thoughts" as well as DP and DR.  Health, that feeling of "impending doom" was a hallmark of my deep depression.  Anxiety plays a part, but depression and anxiety tend to go hand in hand.  The doom felt like a dark cloud over me, always above me, following me.  The doom was never well defined, just a general foreboding.  It was sometimes attached to financial calamity - but not always.  Something really, really bad was going to happen.  I couldn't shake it and it caused high anxiety.

 

I don't know if when people talk of looping thoughts if it is the unending replay of stupid or bad things that one has done in their life.  The "movie" just loops continually and the self-loathing gets worse and worse.  You just beat yourself up 24/7.  Anyway, for me this was depression.

 

Lynn your last paragraph here is pretty much spot on. Thats basically what ive been dealing with 24/7 and is pretty much my only symtom. Looping bad thoughts over old incidents that are magnified x10 and feel crazy bad.

[[He...]]

Hi all,

 

After reading all your posts, I think we are all correct about what we feel or think intrusive thoughts are. It could be very different things to different people. It's an individual thing.

 

For me it starts with the "feeling" of  being nervous, fearful, anxious, and feeling of impending doom.

 

Then the feelings lead to "thoughts" of why do I feel this way? Why am I anxious and nervous and feeling like doom is chasing me?  Why won't it stop? What will become of me? Am I going nuts? Where will this feeling lead me. Am I going to have a psychological breakdown?

 

TO ME, INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE THOSE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THAT HAVE NO IDENTIFIABLE REASON. THEY JUST appear out of nowhere

 

WHEN I AM WORRIED AND ANXIOUS ABOUT A SPECIFIC THING THAT I CAN IDENTIFY,it's different. I know that I am just overly concerned and it's making me anxious, I know exactly what it is, and I am not "afraid " of the thoughts.  I know that I just need to relax, talk about my worries and get them under control.

 

Does that make sense?

 

Anyway, what ever it is to you or to me, WE KNOW what we are feeling.

 

But my main point for posting, and I'm glad it was discussed so openly, is that it is a common occurance, and it will go and come ,and, NO, I AM NOT GOING CRAZY.

 

THANK GOODNESS!

 

I HOPE THOSE WHO STRUGGLE WITH THESE FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS WILL BE LESS ANXIOUS ABOUT THEIR OCCURENCE NOW THAT THEY KNOW IT IS A COMMON THING IN BENZO WITHDRAWAL.

 

I KNOW I WILL!

 

Thank you all for helping me to understand what's happening. JUST ANOTHER BENZO BRAIN OCCURENCE!

 

Heath

 

 

[[...]]

Hello everyone..... Been reading your posts daily, I'm happy for those of you doing well now , and my thoughts and hugs to all who are struggling.

I need to rant a little-

I feel like I've been stuck for the whole month of October . I suppose I improved a bit after my last 1/4 mg cut at the end of sept , the first two weeks were really rough, but I still feel like shit. 2 weeks feels like eons ....waking up very day to the same old same old bardot. On fire all the time ,scared,  crying, stuck in my little studio on my own hardly able to talk to anyone or do anything except eat and feel crappy and wonder if my whole taper will be this way.

Wondering if it will ever change , you know the story , feeling like my life is passing me by and being wasted etc etc. 

 

 

I Try to find ways to stay positive but sometimes I just reach my limit . I know I'm not alone , and I feel kinda bad for complaining , but this just really sucks. Will this really come to an end?

Ok , thanks for listening ....really fed up today and so wanting to feel some improvement ....

I guess I need some encouragement if anyone has it to spare 

[[Va...]]

Hello everyone..... Been reading your posts daily, I'm happy for those of you doing well now , and my thoughts and hugs to all who are struggling.

I need to rant a little-

I feel like I've been stuck for the whole month of October . I suppose I improved a bit after my last 1/4 mg cut at the end of sept , the first two weeks were really rough, but I still feel like shit. 2 weeks feels like eons ....waking up very day to the same old same old bardot. On fire all the time ,scared,  crying, stuck in my little studio on my own hardly able to talk to anyone or do anything except eat and feel crappy and wonder if my whole taper will be this way.

Wondering if it will ever change , you know the story , feeling like my life is passing me by and being wasted etc etc. 

 

 

I Try to find ways to stay positive but sometimes I just reach my limit . I know I'm not alone , and I feel kinda bad for complaining , but this just really sucks. Will this really come to an end?

Ok , thanks for listening ....really fed up today and so wanting to feel some improvement ....

I guess I need some encouragement if anyone has it to spare 

Hi Miyu. Look at it this way. You've spent the whole month of October allowing your body to heal. It may not feel or seem like it but it is happening. In time things will look a lot brighter and you won't feel "stuck" anymore. I actually believe holding is just as important as tapering but it seems anxiety pushes us to want to continue cutting when it's the last thing we should do IMO.  --V

[[lo...]]

sometimes holding is helpful sometimes not. for me holding was helpful when i was nearly mental acute panic 24/7. i knew that my brain is on fire. i felt like any more intensity of this will kill me. pure torture. but sometimes you need to cut. for me when I feel the general benzo flu. no energy, lethargic, various physical symptoms, some depression - but in general mental state is not too bad. its all up to you.

good luck

 

Hello everyone..... Been reading your posts daily, I'm happy for those of you doing well now , and my thoughts and hugs to all who are struggling.

I need to rant a little-

I feel like I've been stuck for the whole month of October . I suppose I improved a bit after my last 1/4 mg cut at the end of sept , the first two weeks were really rough, but I still feel like shit. 2 weeks feels like eons ....waking up very day to the same old same old bardot. On fire all the time ,scared,  crying, stuck in my little studio on my own hardly able to talk to anyone or do anything except eat and feel crappy and wonder if my whole taper will be this way.

Wondering if it will ever change , you know the story , feeling like my life is passing me by and being wasted etc etc. 

 

 

I Try to find ways to stay positive but sometimes I just reach my limit . I know I'm not alone , and I feel kinda bad for complaining , but this just really sucks. Will this really come to an end?

Ok , thanks for listening ....really fed up today and so wanting to feel some improvement ....

I guess I need some encouragement if anyone has it to spare 

[[an...]]

Hi MiYu,

 

I am sorry you are still feeling so bad.  You did say there has been some improvement, and that is a good sign.  It just takes longer for some of us to feel better.  I do understand that when feeling bad it seems that things will never get better, but they will.  Sometimes, I read the success stories, and they do help.  There were many before us that had the same or worse symptoms and yet now they are fully recovered.

 

Things will get better, but it will take some time.

 

Take care,

Anne

[[...]]

Thanks guys.... I don't feel ready to cut again yet... I hope you're right ValleyUm that my body is healing as I hold, at this point I believe that to be true, well at least I am sure I'm not ready to cut again yet. That seems to be my only guide, I can't push through, it's enough to deal with what I feel right now.

So I will wait and believe that my body is trying to heal and balance out.

I have a friend who tapered 10 mg V over a year and half, she's 8 months out and in just as bad shape as I feel, so, who knows , perhaps if she had gone slower she wouldn't be suffering what she is now at 8 mos. I also know someone who held a year at 5 mg V , and when he came off had no acute at all, he was healed when he finished his taper....

I Have to just listen to me body and try to trust and remember I will heal eventually.

anyway, thank you, I'll give this hold a good go.....until I feel ready.

[[Pl...]]

Hello everyone..... Been reading your posts daily, I'm happy for those of you doing well now , and my thoughts and hugs to all who are struggling.

I need to rant a little-

I feel like I've been stuck for the whole month of October . I suppose I improved a bit after my last 1/4 mg cut at the end of sept , the first two weeks were really rough, but I still feel like shit. 2 weeks feels like eons ....waking up very day to the same old same old bardot. On fire all the time ,scared,  crying, stuck in my little studio on my own hardly able to talk to anyone or do anything except eat and feel crappy and wonder if my whole taper will be this way.

Wondering if it will ever change , you know the story , feeling like my life is passing me by and being wasted etc etc. 

 

 

I Try to find ways to stay positive but sometimes I just reach my limit . I know I'm not alone , and I feel kinda bad for complaining , but this just really sucks. Will this really come to an end?

Ok , thanks for listening ....really fed up today and so wanting to feel some improvement ....

I guess I need some encouragement if anyone has it to spare 

Hi Miyu. Look at it this way. You've spent the whole month of October allowing your body to heal. It may not feel or seem like it but it is happening. In time things will look a lot brighter and you won't feel "stuck" anymore. I actually believe holding is just as important as tapering but it seems anxiety pushes us to want to continue cutting when it's the last thing we should do IMO.  --V

 

V- it doesn't seem to work for k users...  :'(. Although for Valium it seems more successful...

 

I wish so much there was more hope.... I'm sinking like a battleship ... I know I have acquired serious damage..my cns has been decimated.... I don't know why I got hit so hard.... Why?

 

I wish everyone on here the best of everything life and healing can offer all of you so much..

 

Some people make it some don't....people like me don't heal..,, they don't have my sxs... What I have is damage...

[[...]]

Hi MiYu,

 

I am sorry you are still feeling so bad.  You did say there has been some improvement, and that is a good sign.  It just takes longer for some of us to feel better.  I do understand that when feeling bad it seems that things will never get better, but they will.  Sometimes, I read the success stories, and they do help.  There were many before us that had the same or worse symptoms and yet now they are fully recovered.

 

Things will get better, but it will take some time.

 

Take care,

Anne

 

Thank you dear Anne