The Long Hold Support Group

[[ju...]]

Thank you Mary for welcoming me. Please dont exclude me because of not being benzo user. But I am a holder like you on Remeron and dont wanna go to any other med. I am just looking for support as everybody does. i am already taking support from remeron thread. I want to ask you that i quit 3 ssri in low dosages after 15 days and i have turned the 7th month and i am holding rem it for app. 4 month. I didn't take this kind of anx. in the acute. Is it an anx. wave to you?

[[De...]]

Thanks Olivek,

Feeling better. Feel real tensed up and its like my body eont relax. I have had it for a while. I feel like I have to rush through everythind. Not sure if that is a normal sx. It gets me down. I cant even sit on the couch to long. It is messed up. I rrally hope you are feeling ok. Not having the holiday blues. Hope tour sc are managable as well. Ly Suzy

[[Ma...]]

Thank you Mary for welcoming me. Please dont exclude me because of not being benzo user. But I am a holder like you on Remeron and dont wanna go to any other med. I am just looking for support as everybody does. i am already taking support from remeron thread. I want to ask you that i quit 3 ssri in low dosages after 15 days and i have turned the 7th month and i am holding rem it for app. 4 month. I didn't take this kind of anx. in the acute. Is it an anx. wave to you?

 

It might be withdrawal from the 3 ssi's or a combination of both.  You are welcome here as long as you like, no matter the drug you are holding.  Yes, it could be a wave.  All these damn drugs just cause so many issues, it's hard to figure out what is causing what.  Often when you hold, you may feel worse before feeling better, if that happens, don't let it surprise you.  Just hold on .  Eventually, you will start feeling a change for the better.  We will be here.  I don't know how many will know a lot about  remeron though.  You would probably get more information on that on the other thread.  Keep us posted 

[[De...]]

Hi Stut!

We miss you but you have a life and alot to do. I hope you get that mest soon!😯 You must have a huge family.  That is nice. We used to have the best xmas eve parties with my fathers side of the family. Everyone was there. Great memories. I am soory you are still having the crappy sx. I think.the way you stay busy is a great way to take tour mind of them.  I feel better. Mt.mucles seem to be settling. I feel like I got stung by a bee in my lower back. It doesnt bother me. Maybe ths5t means it getting better. J8m is huffy. I just ignore him. No.matter what I do thete is no pleasing him. He is good. He does cook. I thinl he worries about me. He still serms to he holding a grudge against me. Oh well. Love you Suzy

[[De...]]

Hi Janice,

Forget about baldy..lol. someone will come along when you least expect it. Hope you are having less fear. It has to.give eventually. I get it to on and off. Hope your day is going ok. Love you Suzy

[[De...]]

Hi Mmm,

I am so glad you are seeimg improvments.  I hope that enso fons soon. My god. At least before the new year..jeez. love you 

[[De...]]

Hi Troch,

So sorry about your ibs. I am sure having benzo belky may be making it worse. Glad you are having it checked. Dont get to anxious. Get our and get tour mind off ir. Try not to dwell on it to much. Love you Suzy

[[De...]]

Hi Tt;

I agree with what stut says. Just walk away. Set healthy boumfaries. Tell them no fighting at the table. When I go to my bf pstents house his mother is firm about noone yalking about politics. My family forget it ir is ww3. Love you Suzy

[[De...]]

Gp,

Hope you are feeling better today. Keep us posted lt Pebbled

 

Lhsg and newbies hope you are doing well. I try not to misd anyone. I am exhausted. So many ppl. Peace and healing 

 

Fh, hope you are having a better day today. You are doing great. Feeling good and bad is so normal in this procesd. Ly dd

[[Tr...]]

Hi Stut and dd,  Somehow I managed to take that walk,  but it wasn't "a walk in the park". Every muscle and bone was hurting. The nine minutes felt like nine hours. Glad I made it home again. Took 0,5 mg Diazepam and went to bed for an hour. Up again now, the pain and stiffness have improved a bit, but I feel alien inside my own body. Like the inside has been twisted one way and my skin the other way. Crazy feeling. Glad to see you both spreading your light of love again. Where would we be without people like you. 

[[Ma...]]

Hi Mmm,

I am so glad you are seeimg improvments.  I hope that enso fons soon. My god. At least before the new year..jeez. love you 

 

Morning DD, love you too girlfriend.  So glad you think your muscles are doing better!  That's great.

Enso said no later than Dec 19th, I am going to be annoyed if it is.  I want that damn thing.  Jim may just not know how to handle you being sick, I just wish he treated you better.  You deserve to be treated well, you are so nice.  :D. MM.  💜💜💜

[[ju...]]

 

Thank you Mary for welcoming me. Please dont exclude me because of not being benzo user. But I am a holder like you on Remeron and dont wanna go to any other med. I am just looking for support as everybody does. i am already taking support from remeron thread. I want to ask you that i quit 3 ssri in low dosages after 15 days and i have turned the 7th month and i am holding rem it for app. 4 month. I didn't take this kind of anx. in the acute. Is it an anx. wave to you?

 

It might be withdrawal from the 3 ssi's or a combination of both.  You are welcome here as long as you like, no matter the drug you are holding.  Yes, it could be a wave.  All these damn drugs just cause so many issues, it's hard to figure out what is causing what.  Often when you hold, you may feel worse before feeling better, if that happens, don't let it surprise you.  Just hold on .  Eventually, you will start feeling a change for the better.  We will be here.  I don't know how many will know a lot about  remeron though.  You would probably get more information on that on the other thread.  Keep us posted 

 

Thank you again. Two months ago i had nausea, diarrhea, palps in different terms. They passed after days,weeks etc. But this anx. is so hard. You are saying that one may reach the light after the darkest times and so relief could come after worst days. Holding at these times are so paradoxial Mary? I mean one is obliged to take it, when the things as if go worse...

[[ro...]]

RR if they take a whole year to listen to a molecular biologist, the rest of us don't stand a chance.

 

I see you've really studied this thoroughly. How long do you think the window to make an updose lasts. I think I should've updosed immediately when I crashed. Maybe after 45 days it's been no use anyway.

 

I know little about all this other than my own experience and reading all the posts I can. As klonopin also has a long half life, maybe you are suffering from previous cuts, not just the last one, and you might consider to updose a bit more, but then we have the fear of kindling... This is maybe the most difficult decision in this process. After what I went through I'm more scared of glutamate damage than of dose corrections. There were good posts on the topics by a buddy called SG57. He's no longer here. If you type his nick on the search bar the posts come up. You've probably read them already as you're a veteran here.

 

Hey VNM,

 

I do have my perspectives on this, and my last post was meant to continue our discussion given similar scenarios. Didn't mean to break any rules for this specific thread / group. Happy to DM you with specifics, but with the caveat that everyone has their own view on this, as pointed out by Mary (and to which I thought I alluded). I have personal (recent) evidence to suggest that even 5 weeks isn't too long to correct. Kindling is absolutely a concern, and I totally agree with you that my previous cuts could have contributed to this one being extra noticeable. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I have yet to get to 72 hrs, which is the minimum for starting to feel better, just from a PK/PD point of view.

 

But again, won't go into it more here. DM me if you're interested in the details

 

I also have insight that comes without blame into the clinical ecosystem dynamics regarding what clinicians know (rather don't know), and what drives their behavior and practice. I did a post-doc at Harvard Med 2 years ago to investigate this specific question, and to get more answers -- no better place to understand all of this. Again, this doesn't seem like the place for it (correct me if wrong), so anyone - feel free to DM. Happy to share my experiences.

[[va...]]

RR if they take a whole year to listen to a molecular biologist, the rest of us don't stand a chance.

 

I see you've really studied this thoroughly. How long do you think the window to make an updose lasts. I think I should've updosed immediately when I crashed. Maybe after 45 days it's been no use anyway.

 

I know little about all this other than my own experience and reading all the posts I can. As klonopin also has a long half life, maybe you are suffering from previous cuts, not just the last one, and you might consider to updose a bit more, but then we have the fear of kindling... This is maybe the most difficult decision in this process. After what I went through I'm more scared of glutamate damage than of dose corrections. There were good posts on the topics by a buddy called SG57. He's no longer here. If you type his nick on the search bar the posts come up. You've probably read them already as you're a veteran here.

 

Hey VNM,

 

I do have my perspectives on this, and my last post was meant to continue our discussion given similar scenarios. Didn't mean to break any rules for this specific thread / group. Happy to DM you with specifics, but with the caveat that everyone has their own view on this, as pointed out by Mary (and to which I thought I alluded). I have personal (recent) evidence to suggest that even 5 weeks isn't too long to correct. Kindling is absolutely a concern, and I totally agree with you that my previous cuts could have contributed to this one being extra noticeable. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I have yet to get to 72 hrs, which is the minimum for starting to feel better, just from a PK/PD point of view.

 

But again, won't go into it more here. DM me if you're interested in the details

 

I also have insight that comes without blame into the clinical ecosystem dynamics regarding what clinicians know (rather don't know), and what drives their behavior and practice. I did a post-doc at Harvard Med 2 years ago to investigate this specific question, and to get more answers -- no better place to understand all of this. Again, this doesn't seem like the place for it (correct me if wrong), so anyone - feel free to DM. Happy to share my experiences.

 

Rollingregret, if my notes from those absolutely crazy, sleepless, terror filled withdrawal days are accurate, I crashed on June 19th and updosed on July 10th. Between those two dates I was ignorant enough to take at least five rescue doses (that I remember) of different benzos: lorazepam, zolpidem and bromazepam. I was absolutely crazy, suicidal and would've taken anything to try to get me out of that hell. I was also very misinformed and new nothing about all this. Finally on July 10th I updosed. I felt no improvement until mid August and then it was not a big improvement. September you could say I started to feel semi human. Now I'm in very bad shape but at least I'm functional. I am in no way stable enough to taper though. My updose went from 1 to 2.50, as a previous updose of 1.40 did not work. I don't remember when the 1.40 dose was made but it's somewhere in my notes.

 

I'm delighted to PM you but it's such a shame that these priceless studies about updosing aren't shared in the open forum. Do you think it would be a good idea to open a thread on the topic? I know many people are dying to talk about this openly. I'm so glad we have your knowledge here on the forum. Please don't feel jealous about my supposedly low dose of valium. I've seen people who've come off the equivalent of 200 valium, and others who can never get off 1.40 or become seriously disabled because they CTd 1.40. This is a weird drug, and each brain is completely different. Also, realize I'm severely kindled from previous CTs and other drugs so that's not making it any easier. I'm also on gabapentin and trazodone, but I took those off my signature as I was getting tired of people's unsolicited opinions.

[[De...]]

Thanks mmm;

I dont think ge can handle it. He gets so anxious. Hopefully that darn.thing shows up soon!!! 

[[Fi...]]

Gp,

Hope you are feeling better today. Keep us posted lt Pebbled

 

Lhsg and newbies hope you are doing well. I try not to misd anyone. I am exhausted. So many ppl. Peace and healing 

 

Fh, hope you are having a better day today. You are doing great. Feeling good and bad is so normal in this procesd. Ly dd

 

Hi DD,

 

No, not a better day, which adds to my upset.  I havent accepted this up and down pattern and that's probably what makes me feel worse.  It always feels like it's my fault.

 

Hi to everyone.  I've had a hard time responding to things but I do think of you all.  This time of year is very intense and I know many of us are feeling it.  It's also anothe grey day here on the Easr Coast and it feels lousy. 

 

Hello to all the new comers. 

[[Ma...]]

 

Thank you Mary for welcoming me. Please dont exclude me because of not being benzo user. But I am a holder like you on Remeron and dont wanna go to any other med. I am just looking for support as everybody does. i am already taking support from remeron thread. I want to ask you that i quit 3 ssri in low dosages after 15 days and i have turned the 7th month and i am holding rem it for app. 4 month. I didn't take this kind of anx. in the acute. Is it an anx. wave to you?

 

It might be withdrawal from the 3 ssi's or a combination of both.  You are welcome here as long as you like, no matter the drug you are holding.  Yes, it could be a wave.  All these damn drugs just cause so many issues, it's hard to figure out what is causing what.  Often when you hold, you may feel worse before feeling better, if that happens, don't let it surprise you.  Just hold on .  Eventually, you will start feeling a change for the better.  We will be here.  I don't know how many will know a lot about  remeron though.  You would probably get more information on that on the other thread.  Keep us posted 

 

Thank you again. Two months ago i had nausea, diarrhea, palps in different terms. They passed after days,weeks etc. But this anx. is so hard. You are saying that one may reach the light after the darkest times and so relief could come after worst days. Holding at these times are so paradoxial Mary? I mean one is obliged to take it, when the things as if go worse...

 

Yes Jun, holding can be very difficult, it can be a longer process than people start out thinking and that makes it harder.  Just hang on tight and know we are here and been through it too.  💜💜

[[va...]]

Thank you Mary for welcoming me. Please dont exclude me because of not being benzo user. But I am a holder like you on Remeron and dont wanna go to any other med. I am just looking for support as everybody does. i am already taking support from remeron thread. I want to ask you that i quit 3 ssri in low dosages after 15 days and i have turned the 7th month and i am holding rem it for app. 4 month. I didn't take this kind of anx. in the acute. Is it an anx. wave to you?

 

Juneight, anyone who's holding anything is welcome here as far as I'm concerned. I came off lexapro twice and the second one was hell. I KNOW that apart from the benzo crash I had last June, a lot of my sxs are lexapro related in spite of having finished my horrible four year taper last April. You hold for as long as you need, that's how I tapered the lexapro the second time. I mean imagine, four years. But I'm glad I did it so slowly, otherwise I'd be even worse than I am now. I really hope you find relief through holding. Welcome 

[[Fi...]]

Thank you Mary for welcoming me. Please dont exclude me because of not being benzo user. But I am a holder like you on Remeron and dont wanna go to any other med. I am just looking for support as everybody does. i am already taking support from remeron thread. I want to ask you that i quit 3 ssri in low dosages after 15 days and i have turned the 7th month and i am holding rem it for app. 4 month. I didn't take this kind of anx. in the acute. Is it an anx. wave to you?

 

Juneight, anyone who's holding anything is welcome here as far as I'm concerned. I came off lexapro twice and the second one was hell. I KNOW that apart from the benzo crash I had last June, a lot of my sxs are lexapro related in spite of having finished my horrible four year taper last April. You hold for as long as you need, that's how I tapered the lexapro the second time. I mean imagine, four years. But I'm glad I did it so slowly, otherwise I'd be even worse than I am now. I really hope you find relief through holding. Welcome 

 

I agree with VNM.  I tapered Remeron for 2 years and Lamictal for 3.  Remeron is a powerful medication and you are taking care of yourself by noticing what your body needs right now. 

[[Ma...]]

Final,  hey you, I didn't remember you tapered remeron, Jun can take advantage of your knowledge and experience  :smitten:

[[va...]]

Suzy I'm sorry Jim is giving you such a hard time. Give him some hydroxicine to see if he goes to sleep.

 

You ask about my fear. It's there most of the time. The fear is there and then the fear generates fearful thoughts and then I tell myself "ok this is a thought, it's not real", like this all day.

 

Today I was really anxious, well and everyday I guess. I went for a walk at eight pm as I finished classes "early" today. I've come back an hour ago. I can walk a lot. I really feel sorry for you guys that can't walk much due to pain  :'( Really really sorry.

 

Yes, we have to forget about baldy. If I see a new candidate I'll let you know. So far I've seen nothing but I don't really look much. It's more to have something fun to talk about here in the group, not only fear, pain, depression, ugh. Tomorrow my daughter starts class later so we'll go to the bar together and any potential candidate will rule me out immediately. Nobody wants a single mum. And deep inside I think I don't want anyone either. I can't have a relationship. You have to share the bed, and I can only sleep when I'm alone, in my daughter's bed (I've sent her to live in my bedroom since last summer and I've taken hers), with the trazodone, the youtube hypnosis video by thomas hall, the comics under my pillow in case I wake up, and my two stuffed dolls (a cow and a rabbit).I mean lets be realistic. Who wants that?

[[Ma...]]

Suzy I'm sorry Jim is giving you such a hard time. Give him some hydroxicine to see if he goes to sleep.

 

You ask about my fear. It's there most of the time. The fear is there and then the fear generates fearful thoughts and then I tell myself "ok this is a thought, it's not real", like this all day.

 

Today I was really anxious, well and everyday I guess. I went for a walk at eight pm as I finished classes "early" today. I've come back an hour ago. I can walk a lot. I really feel sorry for you guys that can't walk much due to pain  :'( Really really sorry.

 

Yes, we have to forget about baldy. If I see a new candidate I'll let you know. So far I've seen nothing but I don't really look much. It's more to have something fun to talk about here in the group, not only fear, pain, depression, ugh. Tomorrow my daughter starts class later so we'll go to the bar together and any potential candidate will rule me out immediately. Nobody wants a single mum. And deep inside I think I don't want anyone either. I can't have a relationship. You have to share the bed, and I can only sleep when I'm alone, in my daughter's bed (I've sent her to live in my bedroom since last summer and I've taken hers), with the trazodone, the youtube hypnosis video by thomas hall, the comics under my pillow in case I wake up, and my two stuffed dolls (a cow and a rabbit).I mean lets be realistic. Who wants that?

 

Who has room?  . I understand, I don't think I could have the extra energy to have a relationship if I wasn't already married.  You have so much responsibility already, trying to work through a relationship would just be too much.  But that doesn't mean you are blind either, lol, definitely take in the sights  .  LY, Mary 💜💜💜

[[va...]]

Suzy I'm sorry Jim is giving you such a hard time. Give him some hydroxicine to see if he goes to sleep.

 

You ask about my fear. It's there most of the time. The fear is there and then the fear generates fearful thoughts and then I tell myself "ok this is a thought, it's not real", like this all day.

 

Today I was really anxious, well and everyday I guess. I went for a walk at eight pm as I finished classes "early" today. I've come back an hour ago. I can walk a lot. I really feel sorry for you guys that can't walk much due to pain  :'( Really really sorry.

 

Yes, we have to forget about baldy. If I see a new candidate I'll let you know. So far I've seen nothing but I don't really look much. It's more to have something fun to talk about here in the group, not only fear, pain, depression, ugh. Tomorrow my daughter starts class later so we'll go to the bar together and any potential candidate will rule me out immediately. Nobody wants a single mum. And deep inside I think I don't want anyone either. I can't have a relationship. You have to share the bed, and I can only sleep when I'm alone, in my daughter's bed (I've sent her to live in my bedroom since last summer and I've taken hers), with the trazodone, the youtube hypnosis video by thomas hall, the comics under my pillow in case I wake up, and my two stuffed dolls (a cow and a rabbit).I mean lets be realistic. Who wants that?

 

Who has room?  . I understand, I don't think I could have the extra energy to have a relationship if I wasn't already married.  You have so much responsibility already, trying to work through a relationship would just be too much.  But that doesn't mean you are blind either, lol, definitely take in the sights  .  LY, Mary 💜💜💜

 

Yes you're absolutely right Mary. A relationship requires time, and I don't have time. A relationship is like a job.

 

My physical therapist says that all this reasoning of not being able to have a relationship completely disappears when you suddenly meet someone special. But I don't know if that's possible in bwd. And anyway "someone special" would have to conform to seeing me very little until my daughter grows up a bit more.

 

But don't worry, I'll keep reporting any interesting candidate I might see  He would have to be someone tiny, to fit between the cow and the rabbit.

[[Ma...]]

Suzy I'm sorry Jim is giving you such a hard time. Give him some hydroxicine to see if he goes to sleep.

 

You ask about my fear. It's there most of the time. The fear is there and then the fear generates fearful thoughts and then I tell myself "ok this is a thought, it's not real", like this all day.

 

Today I was really anxious, well and everyday I guess. I went for a walk at eight pm as I finished classes "early" today. I've come back an hour ago. I can walk a lot. I really feel sorry for you guys that can't walk much due to pain  :'( Really really sorry.

 

Yes, we have to forget about baldy. If I see a new candidate I'll let you know. So far I've seen nothing but I don't really look much. It's more to have something fun to talk about here in the group, not only fear, pain, depression, ugh. Tomorrow my daughter starts class later so we'll go to the bar together and any potential candidate will rule me out immediately. Nobody wants a single mum. And deep inside I think I don't want anyone either. I can't have a relationship. You have to share the bed, and I can only sleep when I'm alone, in my daughter's bed (I've sent her to live in my bedroom since last summer and I've taken hers), with the trazodone, the youtube hypnosis video by thomas hall, the comics under my pillow in case I wake up, and my two stuffed dolls (a cow and a rabbit).I mean lets be realistic. Who wants that?

 

Who has room?  . I understand, I don't think I could have the extra energy to have a relationship if I wasn't already married.  You have so much responsibility already, trying to work through a relationship would just be too much.  But that doesn't mean you are blind either, lol, definitely take in the sights  .  LY, Mary 💜💜💜

 

Yes you're absolutely right Mary. A relationship requires time, and I don't have time. A relationship is like a job.

 

My physical therapist says that all this reasoning of not being able to have a relationship completely disappears when you suddenly meet someone special. But I don't know if that's possible in bwd. And anyway "someone special" would have to conform to seeing me very little until my daughter grows up a bit more.

 

But don't worry, I'll keep reporting any interesting candidate I might see  He would have to be someone tiny, to fit between the cow and the rabbit.

 

[[Ma...]]

Hey Intend, are you snowed in, so many on here have ice or snow or both.  You be very careful if you are have to get out and go somewhere.  It's beautiful here today, but suppose to be cold tomorrow.  South Texas cold, not Utah.  We would freeze to death.  Sly wouldn't go out and pee, his freezing degree is around 45  . He is a short hair and a wimp.      Hope you are having a good day and Dan is on your good side.  For myself, being on your bad side would be scary. 

Give Pepper 🌶 love and kisses from me .  Love you woman!  MM.  🐈🐾🐾. 🌹🌹🌹🌹. 🚂🚂🚂🚂