The Long Hold Support Group

[[He...]]

Hi Lynn,

 

Sorry didn't go up pacific coast highway. Dreary weather. Looks like rain. I know I should have pushed myself but I was really tired .

Maybe tomorrow.

But was out late with hubby last night and actually felt normal! Except for the darn neck. I wear the collar all the time and it helps sooo much!  Had ribs  and actually felt good enough to enjoy them!

Imagine that!

 

Heath

[[be...]]

Thanks for your kind thoughts please be assured that many here are reading posts, sometimes I do not post, and in this instance Heath was so right on, that I let our dear Heath do her thing and she did it well. I am sure that sometimes posts get lost if there is a lot going on, and it gets pushed to the side, but please know you are not alone, this walk we are on to get to Wellness and Recovery can be dicey and when we think we have it figured out it will come back and bite us on our butts, stay the course you feel is best for you, and then sometimes it has to be tweaked, but I can assure you if you are doing a slow taper, and do not cut large amts, your Brain will thank you and will be allowed to heal, and yes holding does work, but it takes time, the way I know if I am doing it wrong, is if sx are many and horrible and I just can not find a soft spot, but because I have been on this train wreak twice before and failed because I cut too much too fast, I am blessed this time to have only blips and to know that it may take a long time, but that is OK, I am doing the walk so that someday down the road I can gently walk off, no jumping... for this gal. Best to you on your quest.

 

How lovely you are dear begood

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my woes.

Thank you for the comforting words, and the reassurance.

I appreciate you very much.

My pattern has changed, and I am struggling with relentless dizziness, palpitations, anxiety.

I am mindful to do a careful taper, but for some reason these latest symptoms have no mercy

And so, I am doing another hold. Hopefully it will help.

Wishing you wellness, and healing blessings.

Love, Anoushka http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/Smileys/standard/smitten.gif

Anoushka it is good to have you here, so many wonderful giving buddies here, and we are all doing variations of long holds. It is good that you have been mindful about your taper, has anything changed in your life to bring on a rash of relentless sx, sometimes it isn't anything you are doing it just happens. I am a big advocate to try to distract as much as possible and when you are so dizzy, look at an object in the distance and focus on that and it seems to help somewhat with the dizzys. I have a red breathe in my siguture click on that, and I also like the Mindfulness CD it transports me to a calming place. Keep yourself distracted the best you can, coloring book, music, anything to take away how badly you feel. I am sorry you are having to go through this, but next week things could be so much better.Stay Strong.

[[ga...]]

Hello thread. Day started out OK and went downhill around noon. Really fast. Such a busy thread today and me now stuck in benzo fog and neuropathy yet again. But hello and best wishes to all.

 

Gard

[[an...]]

Hi Gard,

 

Sorry you are feeling bad again.  I hope things improve soon.  What a roller coaster this is.

 

Take care,

Anne

[[an...]]

Hi Heath,

 

So glad to hear you are doing better.  I think the long hold is a good idea.  You need to enjoy your life, and if a long hold is what it takes, then so be it.  You are well on your way to getting stabilized.

 

Anne 

[[He...]]

Hello GRd, ,

I'm sorry you are struggling so. I am thinking about you and hope tomorrow will be better. Remember, when you least expect it, things can turn around for you.

Be strong and hang in. I know how tough it is. But you can do it!

Prayers and good thoughts are coming your way. Peace and healing to you. I hope your days get easier very fast.

 

Heathcliff

[[He...]]

Anne,

 

Thanks for your very welcomed good thoughts and wishes. Yes a long hold it is! Gotta get this neck feeling better!!! I am getting better slowly but surely.

 

Many good whole days or long windows, but with scattered waves. Hope the waves disappear completely very fast.

 

Hope you continue to do well.

 

Heath

[[be...]]

Hello thread. Day started out OK and went downhill around noon. Really fast. Such a busy thread today and me now stuck in benzo fog and neuropathy yet again. But hello and best wishes to all.

 

Gard

Gard hoping this will pass soon and you feel better. Hang in there.

[[Va...]]

Hello thread. Day started out OK and went downhill around noon. Really fast. Such a busy thread today and me now stuck in benzo fog and neuropathy yet again. But hello and best wishes to all.

 

Gard

So sorry gard. Hang in there. You'll get through this with the rest of us! --V

[[An...]]

Hello thread. Day started out OK and went downhill around noon. Really fast. Such a busy thread today and me now stuck in benzo fog and neuropathy yet again. But hello and best wishes to all.

 

Gard

 

I sympathize with you dear gardener, as I am in the same boat for a few days now

I am trying to practice acceptance, we will see how it progresses.

Thinking of you, and wishing you healing blessings http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/Smileys/standard/angel.gif

Anoushka

[[...]]

Anoushka, Gard, I'm with you at the moment , still holding and not having much improvement yet.... Day 24 I think. Truthfully what gets in my head is that it's the V causing the symptoms and that if I hold I'll get worse.... I know that's the same old story, and I did improve a bit on my last hold of nearly a month, but I haven't given myself the chance to stabilize , to see if it works. I just can't help wishing I was holding on a lower dose too, I've cut so little.

Anyway , hang in there both of you, we' ll get through the this eventually.

Glad you made the choice to continue holding Heath, I think that's very wise, and Begood, you are always an inspiration , thank you. 

valley, hope you are doing ok having cut back quite a bit the last couple of months! 

 

Anyone else I haven't mentioned , hope you are doing well

[[Va...]]

Anoushka, Gard, I'm with you at the moment , still holding and not having much improvement yet.... Day 24 I think. Truthfully what gets in my head is that it's the V causing the symptoms and that if I hold I'll get worse.... I know that's the same old story, and I did improve a bit on my last hold of nearly a month, but I haven't given myself the chance to stabilize , to see if it works. I just can't help wishing I was holding on a lower dose too, I've cut so little.

Anyway , hang in there both of you, we' ll get through the this eventually.

Glad you made the choice to continue holding Heath, I think that's very wise, and Begood, you are always an inspiration , thank you. 

valley, hope you are doing ok having cut back quite a bit the last couple of months! 

 

Anyone else I haven't mentioned

Thanks Miyu. We trudge forward and do our best. I did have a slight ramp up of sxs when I hit 10mg a few days ago. I have been holding since then and they are slowly resolving.  I always wait until the twitches in my legs stop and then continue with the taper (I can't believe it took 6 months the first time!). It seems those are the last to go and they are coming less and less. The trick is catching the sxs before they rev up too much. When that happens holding longer is usually needed. It's difficult though as they can really sneak up on you fast. Hang in there! There is relief just around the corner.  --V

[[be...]]

Hi MiYu, you are very kind. I would like to say that it seems to me, that the Benzo lies are working on you, it is hard to wait and while waiting our evil one plays on our thoughts and he will always want to put doubts in your thoughts, I feel your despair, it is hard when you know you have a way to go, but time will pass faster than you know, will you have cut as much as you would hope, maybe not, getting stable takes time. Lynn said something once that she looks at the glass as half full not half empty, and I like that analogy because it really does come down to how we think, and if you keep thinking about how slow you are going the glass will not budge, please look at the fact that you have come down from 10mg to 8.25mg that is really good, and remember that you probably felt a lot of bad sx and if you did and kept tapering, your Brain is needing a rest, and it will get better, please know that we are here for you. I would also say if you can distract yourself from how badly you feel or want to be lower, because the Old saying "A pot never boils if you are looking at it" is true, Focus on something else, the need to taper will always be there, no changing that, but you can try to refocus. You know I have believed in this for a long time, and lately I have been reading about buddies here that get involved with something no matter how little, but it takes away the focus of the taper, and whoa, they feel better, and forget what they are going through for a period of time. Only the best thoughts for you. 

[[Sh...]]

Anoushka, Gard, I'm with you at the moment , still holding and not having much improvement yet.... Day 24 I think. Truthfully what gets in my head is that it's the V causing the symptoms and that if I hold I'll get worse.... I know that's the same old story, and I did improve a bit on my last hold of nearly a month, but I haven't given myself the chance to stabilize , to see if it works. I just can't help wishing I was holding on a lower dose too, I've cut so little.

Anyway , hang in there both of you, we' ll get through the this eventually.

Glad you made the choice to continue holding Heath, I think that's very wise, and Begood, you are always an inspiration , thank you. 

valley, hope you are doing ok having cut back quite a bit the last couple of months! 

 

Anyone else I haven't mentioned

 

Ive just got to the 4 month mark holding. I had 0 improvement for the first 2 and was very worried. Things started getting better in month 3.

[[...]]

You are all so sweet and kind , thank you! Thank you! Your encouragement means the world to me , so very supportive.

Yes positive thinking Begood ....again thank you for your wisdom. Benzo lies, they are mostly learnt from things I've read!have to stay on this support group more!  I have to remember my affirmations when things get too wiggly.

This afternoon I actually vaped some MJ, and it helped , I found I wasn't as obsessed with being afraid of dying and feeling desparate to DO something , never had a bad experience with pot so it seems to suit me.

Valley you are Doing great.....hope your symptoms are subsiding....

Shamo, thanks for your support too.

 

 

[[...]]

Valley, I have ' restless legs'  too, but I've had them since I was a kid. Got really bad in my 40s and started taking gabapentin for them on and off... Just realized that's not on my signature... Totally forgot , I've been on it so long and really haven't considered coming off it. It's the benzo I want off! 

Gabapentin never really bothered me at all, and for some reason I don't feel like if i want to try tapering it , I don't think it'll be a problem.

I am getting more twitchy legs though with the V taper, but I find if I move around , or take a little l tryptophan , they go away. Usually if I get them it's in the early hours of the morning.

[[mr...]]

Valley and Miyu,

Here is some info on RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome)

Not getting enuf REM sleep alone can cause RLS too.

 

 

[[Va...]]

Valley and Miyu,

Here is some info on RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome)

Not getting enuf REM sleep alone can cause RLS too.

Thanks mrtmeo! --V

[[ly...]]

 

 

Good morning fellow "holders",

 

I'm happy that so many are seeing improvements on their holds.  I am sorry that some of you continue to suffer pretty badly.  I think that, with time, you will all see improvement.  It took me months to recover from too fast tapers - but I did recover and actually felt very good once enough time had passed to allow my brain to adjust and heal.

 

Subsequent cuts have been pretty uneventful, mild in comparison.  For me, giving my brain a "break" was just the ticket.  I am on day 5 of my latest cut and feel very well.  I am now at .15 and have dropped 50% since my 4 month hold ended in late June.  I don't believe that my experience is unique or some fluke.

 

Wishing each and every one of you health, healing and happiness.

[[ga...]]

Valley and Miyu,

Here is some info on RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome)

Not getting enuf REM sleep alone can cause RLS too.

 

Thanks, Miyu. I have RLS, too. I think it was a main contributor to my sleep collapse and subsequent psych problems and then the evil benzo.

 

Gard

[[ga...]]

Thanks for all the well wishes. Feeling like I'm turning a corner toward getting better again. Longer windows. Sleep still a big problem, though. Very tired today.

 

Gard

[[He...]]

Sorry to hear you are still suffering, Gard and MIYU, but glad you have decided to keep on holding. I do believe it will help and I agree with everyone who has already advised you in this, so I won't say it all over again. I know how hard it is to hold.  I am constantly questioning myself, as you are.

 

Yesterday my inner shakes came back. I was so very happy they had finally gone away from last December, even before I started my taper. I must have been in tolerance back then and didn't even know it.  Anyway the shakes are gone today. I guess it's just one of those wdfx that come and go.

 

I wish you blessings and healing. And you too V. I see you are getting some wdfx ramping up a bit.

 

Begood and Lynne and Anne, glad you are doing well. 

 

I know we will all be well if we just have patience and let time and holding heal us.

 

Here's to another day. Hopefully a good one for all!

 

Heath

[[...]]

Valley and Miyu,

Here is some info on RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome)

Not getting enuf REM sleep alone can cause RLS too.

 

Thanks mrtmeo, will check that out .....

Sorry you have restless legs too Gard 

I'm dreaming a lot again.... That's REM sleep right? Probably not getting the deep sleep though .

Thanks again for the encouragement on holding ,

Anne ....really happy its working well for you, praying it will work for me too.

Heath, sorry about your tremors, we have to remember these symptoms come and go

 

:smitten:

[[in...]]

hi guys,

 

im joining this group as I finshed my taper of A about a month ago, i am still on 1mg k 7 am and 1 mg k 7 pm, having sxs's so i was told to hold, FB group said still taper, but i need your advise, as im having sxs  like no sleep, eye issues, leg pains when trying to sleep, like i have to stretch them as they hurt or like cramp up, im kinda pacing, depressed, have  looping thoughts, anxiety , barely any sleep.....etc.......since getting off the A in 11 months, from 6mg to 0.......i was just wondering if anyone else has been on 2 benzos and what does stabilize mean, how long should i hold, or am i in tolerance w/d still??

 

sigh, yes i want to taper K off but scared out of my gourd........

 

any advise

thanks

INP 

[[Va...]]

hi guys,

 

im joining this group as I finshed my taper of A about a month ago, i am still on 1mg k 7 am and 1 mg k 7 pm, having sxs's so i was told to hold, FB group said still taper, but i need your advise, as im having sxs  like no sleep, eye issues, leg pains when trying to sleep, like i have to stretch them as they hurt or like cramp up, im kinda pacing, depressed, have  looping thoughts, anxiety , barely any sleep.....etc.......since getting off the A in 11 months, from 6mg to 0.......i was just wondering if anyone else has been on 2 benzos and what does stabilize mean, how long should i hold, or am i in tolerance w/d still??

 

sigh, yes i want to taper K off but scared out of my gourd........

 

any advise

thanks

INP 

Hi ineedpeace and welcome! There are many things you may be experiencing at this point. You may still be withdrawing from the Ativan as different benzos can effect us in different ways. The things you describe sound like withdrawal. Holding to stabilize is a good option but takes a lot of patience.  I take it you have been taking 2 different benzos? As far as the definition of stable, it varies from person to person but IMO indicates minimal to no sxs. Be patient and try to distract. Chances are good that you'll start feeling better. It looks like I should post the propaganda list again. It should help answer a lot of your questions.  --V