The Long Hold Support Group

[[De...]]

Hi Janice,

Excellent post!! You are very wise, as you yell me sometimes. I guess I think I was just thinking to myself how can this be real

Can a drug really do this to a person. I was even starting to doubt it myelf. I think.that happens because alot of ppl font get it and they start saying maybe it is this or that. Then that gets in.my head and messes my.mind up. I agrer we can learn from this and is an opportunity to see what is important in life. My mucles feel better today. I hope you are ok. You sound good and

Just taking this day by day and accepting the process. I usually do that too. I overthought things again. Bad habit I have. Well I am rambling as usual. We will get through this prison sentence together. Love you Suzy

[[Tr...]]

Hi Suzy, great to see you're feeling better today. Now it's my turn to feel awful! 

[[Tr...]]

Hi everyone,  Guess we all get to this point from time to time. Like Suzy wrote, I can't believe this is all just benzo. Back, feet, muscles, all hurting like hell. Extremely fatigued,  feeling quite down today. Didn't go for my walk, but got on my bike instead and went to the bookstore. Bought a calendar for 2020. Bad thoughts came to mind...just fill in the dots...Had to go to bed for a while to get rid of the sickening backpain. It's a day I wish was already over. I suppose this is what they call Christmas depression. Hope your day stays OK. Sorry for this, folks. Hope to be my old self again soon.  God bless.

[[va...]]

Hi Janice,

Excellent post!! You are very wise, as you yell me sometimes. I guess I think I was just thinking to myself how can this be real

Can a drug really do this to a person. I was even starting to doubt it myelf. I think.that happens because alot of ppl font get it and they start saying maybe it is this or that. Then that gets in.my head and messes my.mind up. I agrer we can learn from this and is an opportunity to see what is important in life. My mucles feel better today. I hope you are ok. You sound good and

Just taking this day by day and accepting the process. I usually do that too. I overthought things again. Bad habit I have. Well I am rambling as usual. We will get through this prison sentence together. Love you Suzy

 

Suzy I only talk like that when I talk to you. In my head there's a constant battle thinking I'm ruined forever, how will I raise my daughter like this, I'll never be able to cut and I'll never feel better... That's my inner dialogue. I need to tell myself what I tell you. I should just focus on the present but it's difficult when the present is not appealing. Anyway I just wanted to say you're not alone. It's all the meds. You read the blogs and many people are so so ill. I dread ending up like that, that's why I'm in no rush to taper. I'm feeling very bad but at least I'm quite functional.

[[va...]]

Troschetter it amazes me how you Dutch people go everywhere by bike even with awful backpain and in bwd. I haven't ridden a bike since I was a kid. I'm sure I'd fall off immediately  . I'm sorry you're feeling so poorly. We've had better days than today. I haven't even left the house which is so unusual for me. I'm exhausted. This low quality sleep is taking its toll. It's been going on for so long now. I got a horses calendar. I love horses and they love me back.

[[Gu...]]

Your daughter loves you Val, I think you’re doing better than you think.  You are so funny when you write, even when you’ve said you aren’t feeling well.  I love horses too, but I got the Golden Retrievers calendar.

 

Hang in there Pebbles, maybe Vitamin D/K2 would help?  Winter is a hard time of year.

 

I hope you are using your heating pad Troch.  Loosen up those muscles and get the blood flowing.

 

I gotta walk my dogs now.  I feel awful but they need this walk.  Maybe I do too

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Hi Valiumnomore,  I didn't ride my bike for weeks,  because it gives me backpain within 5 minutes. But now my feet were killing me, so I thought the bike ride would be a good idea. Well, no! But I made it home in one piece. ( even though I feel like my backbone is a mess).

 

Funny, how all of us on here take turns in giving people peptalk and needing some soon after. I admire the fighting spirit lots of us have. Holding on, even though it's very hard sometimes.  I think we all have that inner dialogue you describe,  I know I have it constantly.

 

Hope your exhaustion goes away and your sleep improves.

 

Guinea Pig, I hope you're having a better day!  Enjoy your walk.

[[va...]]

Your daughter loves you Val, I think you’re doing better than you think.  You are so funny when you write, even when you’ve said you aren’t feeling well.  I love horses too, but I got the Golden Retrievers calendar.

 

Hang in there Pebbles, maybe Vitamin D/K2 would help?  Winter is a hard time of year.

 

I hope you are using your heating pad Troch.  Loosen up those muscles and get the blood flowing.

 

I gotta walk my dogs now.  I feel awful but they need this walk.  Maybe I do too

 

GP I'm really worried about you  :'( Why not go to the ER and have them run some tests to rule out stuff like strokes and that sort of things?

[[Ma...]]

Your daughter loves you Val, I think you’re doing better than you think.  You are so funny when you write, even when you’ve said you aren’t feeling well.  I love horses too, but I got the Golden Retrievers calendar.

 

Hang in there Pebbles, maybe Vitamin D/K2 would help?  Winter is a hard time of year.

 

I hope you are using your heating pad Troch.  Loosen up those muscles and get the blood flowing.

 

I gotta walk my dogs now.  I feel awful but they need this walk.  Maybe I do too

 

GP I'm really worried about you  :'( Why not go to the ER and have them run some tests to rule out stuff like strokes and that sort of things?

 

At least pay attention to your lungs okay?  If you feel like they are getting fluid build up , please go.

[[Gu...]]

I just can’t go to ER.  Every time I have in the past, tests are clear, it’s anxiety and they throw you out the door.  The doctor doesn’t even come back.  Then they just treat you like a drug abuser.  It’s degrading.  Even on Admittance one of the nurses just rolls her eyes when I tell her what meds I took.  Right now I am so fragile.

 

If my lungs get worse, I will go.  But right now I prefer to wait it out.

[[va...]]

Hi Valiumnomore,  I didn't ride my bike for weeks,  because it gives me backpain within 5 minutes. But now my feet were killing me, so I thought the bike ride would be a good idea. Well, no! But I made it home in one piece. ( even though I feel like my backbone is a mess).

 

Funny, how all of us on here take turns in giving people peptalk and needing some soon after. I admire the fighting spirit lots of us have. Holding on, even though it's very hard sometimes.  I think we all have that inner dialogue you describe,  I know I have it constantly.

 

Hope your exhaustion goes away and your sleep improves.

 

Guinea Pig, I hope you're having a better day!  Enjoy your walk.

 

Haha we all have the same depressing inner dialogue but in Dutch, English and Spanish. It's a polyglot depressing inner dialogue.

[[Tr...]]

Maybe you"ll like this video.

 

[[va...]]

Maybe you"ll like this video.

 

 

Yeah it would be nice to live like that. I wake up at seven twenty am and it's still night time. Have a shower, dress, makeup, wake up daughter, do her hair, empty dishwasher, open all windows, take the garbage, let's go. Get the car, drop my daughter in high-school at 8:30, go to a bar to have breakfast seeing people, then go home, close windows, make beds. At 10 am students start coming, between 3 and 5 a day. Clean house, buy groceries, cook, pick up daughter from school. Check banks, teachers meetings, lawyer to deal with daughter's father... I mean this guy lives in wonderland. I see many people can do that. I'm glad for them but that's very very different from my life. Ah, check if tenants are paying or something needs fixing in rented flat, I would never finish the list. I better get on with that list BTW. Now it's Saturday but I have to scan some papers to send to my accountant. The fun goes on and on.

[[De...]]

Hi Janice,

I tell ppl things and yet I dontbdo it myself either. Yoy havevso m7ch responsibility.  You are doing a great job. That is alot even when you are not in wd and in physical pain. You are doing it. All ny yourself and you are stronger than you think. I guess we cant project into the future. If we think of how long this could take it causes a serious depression. You just never know. 8 may not bevas long as we think. You will get off the drug. Just go at your own pace. If your afraid ro taper. Maybe in the future cut a miniscule amount and then hold. We will get there. It is funnyb we are having the same inner dialogue. I hate benzos and all drugs at this point. Who would have thought this fould happen or even exist.  Love Suzy

I have to catch up. I am behind on posts!!

[[va...]]

Hi Janice,

I tell ppl things and yet I dontbdo it myself either. Yoy havevso m7ch responsibility.  You are doing a great job. That is alot even when you are not in wd and in physical pain. You are doing it. All ny yourself and you are stronger than you think. I guess we cant project into the future. If we think of how long this could take it causes a serious depression. You just never know. 8 may not bevas long as we think. You will get off the drug. Just go at your own pace. If your afraid ro taper. Maybe in the future cut a miniscule amount and then hold. We will get there. It is funnyb we are having the same inner dialogue. I hate benzos and all drugs at this point. Who would have thought this fould happen or even exist.  Love Suzy

I have to catch up. I am behind on posts!!

 

[[De...]]

[[De...]]

Hey Troch, sorry you are having a depressing day. I turned on some xmas music anf it cheered me up. Lol. I walked and streyched and did some cleaning. Now i am on yhe heating pad with a bag of frozen veg on ny hip. I will try snything!! Lol.

 

By the way none of us are ruined. We are just as goid as other ppl that arent going through this and one day we will have our lives bvack! I always think I am ruined and less than but it is not true!!

[[De...]]

Gp;

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I get treated like crap in the er too. But if it gets worse please go and try not to talj about benzos. They dont hear you when you say it. So bizarre. Ly Pebbles

[[De...]]

Hi mmm,

I hope you are feeling ok today. I hope we all didnt bum you out. Anything from enso? Has too be soon now. Ly dd

[[Gu...]]

Hi Pebbles, I don’t even talk about benzos, I let them figure it out.  But as soon as you say any controlled drugs they jump to conclusions.  The last couple times I went my sodium levels were really low and I had to spend the night while they did a slow drip IV.

 

Luckily I bought Pedialyte at the grocery store.  I wish I bought 2, already finished it,

 

We’ll see.  Thanks for your thoughts

[[De...]]

I know gp. It is so demoralizing. They know these are prescribed, so why do they treat us that way. It like they want nothing to do with you. I is revelant to the care we receive. They dont think so ar all. I dont bring it.up anymore either. Keep drinking the Pedialyte. I do know my.blood pressure is different all the time. I figured it must be the benzos. I dont know. Keep us posted.

[[Gu...]]

Too bad Stutt wasn’t our head nurse in charge at the ER.  She would surely straighten them out!

[[De...]]

Oh that would be great!! Lol. 

[[va...]]

Too bad Stutt wasn’t our head nurse in charge at the ER.  She would surely straighten them out!

 

[[va...]]

I just can’t go to ER.  Every time I have in the past, tests are clear, it’s anxiety and they throw you out the door.  The doctor doesn’t even come back.  Then they just treat you like a drug abuser.  It’s degrading.  Even on Admittance one of the nurses just rolls her eyes when I tell her what meds I took.  Right now I am so fragile.

 

If my lungs get worse, I will go.  But right now I prefer to wait it out.

 

This feeling dizzy in the morning, did you have it before? Ignore their stupid faces when you tell them the meds you're on. GP there are so many people on these meds you can't imagine. They see much worse, like girls having the day after pill or having abortions constantly. Our case is nothing to roll eyes at. They just have the eye rolling attitude. My SIL is a doctor. They criticize women over 40 who go to have their babies there. Instead of being empathetic they talk about them behind their backs. Really, you just go to rule out anything. They roll eyes at EVERYONE.